Friday, 20 December 2013

Dealing With Hate

1. Never ever respond.

That's the hater's goal. To entrap you. Draw you into a conversation. Wherein you have to justify your complete existence. You can never ever win, furthermore the hater's friends will pile on. Read if you must, but never acknowledge you've done so.

2. Research the hater.

Especially on Twitter. See how many followers they have. Fewer than you, otherwise they wouldn't bother to hate. Also, check their number of tweets. If someone's tweet count is in the double digit thousands, laugh and move on. First of all, almost no one is going to see their hate. Second, the reason they're hating is to justify their existence. They're looking for attention. Who else would waste so much time blasting their thoughts into the wilderness.

3. Google the hater.

This usually makes you feel better. Because you find out the hater is a loser. Because winners don't have time to hate, they're too busy trying to win.

4. See it as a badge of honor.

If someone is hating you, you've made it.

5. Read it.

Anybody who says they don't read the words of their critics is an optimistic pussy who is afraid of their shadow. As the cliche goes, you can't embrace the good without the bad, you can't acknowledge the love without the hate. The truth is we're all equal. Even if you're winning it's only temporarily, on a scale that will cease to exist. You'll die. Standards change. Do it because you love it. Know that criticism comes with the territory.

6. Don't change who you are.

Then the terrorists have won. Oops, then the haters have won. I'm not saying you can't learn anything from your critics, but the more successful you become, the more hating you're subjected to, and the natural response is to pull back. Don't do that. Then the essence of your art is eviscerated. People love you for that essence. Change for the haters and you're disappointing the lovers.

7. Have a sense of humor.

We all have a tone of voice. We all have expressions we employ. We don't like them to be pointed out, we don't like to be reminded of them, but it's the nature of society. If you can't laugh at yourself, life is gonna be tough. Then again, there's no need to fall upon your sword in the face of a tsunami of hate. Laugh, then have a backbone. Because your backbone is part of your appeal.

8. Understand the hater mentality.

They want to drag you down into the hole they're in. If you succumb, they stop hating, they've made you irrelevant and go on to hating someone else. Hating is not about you, but a frustration embodied in the hater that he or she is not beautiful, successful, winning, whatever. That's all they've got, their hate. You've got so much more.

9. Vitriol is no response.

If you must respond, and as #1 states above, you never should, so you're breaking the number one rule, don't use expletives and don't shout. Twist your language and become sarcastic, stating that the hater is correct, ultimately neutralizing the hate. Or embrace the hate and acknowledge it, yes, I'm a worthless human being with no reason to exist, thanks for pointing that out. The hater is looking for a fight, if you're not fighting, they move on to someone else.

10. Hate is invisible until you amplify it.

Not many people watch Jimmy Kimmel. Most were unaware of Kanye's fashion comments. But by reaching out and responding to the "hate," Kanye made everybody aware of his inane statements. It hurts when you see the hate, it's personal, but it's not personal to anyone else and almost everybody else ignores it. Yes, Google might tell you you're an idiot, but who else is Googling your name?

11. Democracy doesn't rule online.

Anyone can play, but that does not mean anyone can be heard. That's the story of the past two years, how the winners have pulled away from the losers. And the losers don't like it...that they just can't place their stuff online and make it anymore. So who do they rail against? You, the winners!

12. Retweets might mean nothing.

Some people have clubs, not everybody, there are some lonely rogues. And they like nothing more than to slap each other on the back as they pile on. You see this in your Twitter feed and think the whole world is talking about you, but dig deeper and realize that it's the three nerds from high school who suddenly have a voice, but just like in high school, no one is paying attention to them, no one is listening.

13. Haters are professionals.

Haters don't hate once and then stop. They hate and hate and hate and hate, because what they're looking for is acknowledgement. It's unreasonable, but it's fact. See it as their problem, not yours.

14. Few haters will say it to your face.

They love the anonymity of the web, especially in comment threads. Put them in front of the star and they'll get all googly-eyed. Not all of them, some of them are so maladjusted that they will never stop hating until they win, big time, which they can't, because they've got to see themselves as outside underdogs, and to win you have to learn how to be an insider. Winners have relationships, people who will aid them in their endeavors. Haters have no army, except for the silent loners afraid of their reflections. They're on a subliminal trip to nowhere.

15. Hate peters out.

Those websites, those fake Twitter accounts? They die. Because they're one note jokes and you're so much more than that. The hate might be clever, but clever never lasts, it's one note for one time.

16. Hating is like spam.

It will never completely go away, but it will be minimized into irrelevance. Seemingly everybody uses Gmail these days, which employs the great Postini filter. Spam isn't a thing of the past, but it's now an occasional nuisance instead of a headache. Hate is peaking, because as the winners pull away from the losers online, everybody can see the haters for what they are, disgruntled people clamoring for attention who usually have nothing of value to say.


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Hipster Death Spiral

So I asked Anita Elberse what she says to the naysayers.

I'M THE YOUNGEST TENURED PROFESSOR AT HARVARD BUSINESS SCHOOL, WHO ARE YOU?

Whew!

And there you have it. The separation between the movers and shakers and the hoi polloi. Education.

Kristina from Ticketfly caused a brouhaha in Aspen when she suggested concert tickets be refundable.

The promoters went berserk. But that wasn't the point. Kristina's point was to be unemotional and see what you could do to drive adoption. That's what she learned at Amazon, her prior job, after graduating from Cornell and getting a Stanford MBA.

Yes, it's happening. Nerds are inheriting the earth. Like the man from Google, who went to MIT.

They're pulling away from us. If you're under the age of twenty forget competing for the "Voice," you're better off staying in school. Simon Cowell's at the end of his career, Jeff Bezos is just beginning. Who do you want to hitch your star to?

Thinking outside the box, relying on data. That's one thing the techies do well. What they don't do well is emotions. That's the essence of art, but we've squeezed all that out. We're a pale imitation of the tech companies, trying to ring the Wall Street bell, with our clothing lines and our desire to sell out to the highest bidder. Wanna have a hit record? Go deeper. Into yourself. I mean I can listen to Miley Cyrus's "Wrecking Ball," but it doesn't affect me. It's kind of like an ice cream cone, tastes so good going down but when it's done it's forgotten.

Even worse, there's a thin layer of successful people.

And everybody else sits around and bitches, trying to tear down those who have made it, like Ms. Elberse, not realizing no one is listening.

On Twitter all the rock critics are beating me up for saying that I'm happy with the R&RHOF inductees. I'm an idiot! Don't I know that I should be championing the obscure? That anything successful is not worth paying attention to?

That's so twentieth century. When we were one cohesive society. Now it's every man for himself. And either you pop your head through or you're irrelevant. Even worse, you can be famous and irrelevant. All that counts is the mainstream. If you're not attempting to be known by everybody, if your goal is the niche, it's almost like you don't even exist.

There's one Amazon, one Google, one Apple. But the ignoramuses at home think they can compete. Every day I get an e-mail saying the sender has a new company that will solve the music industry's problems. Ever hear of LICENSING? That you can do nothing without the music? These people believe if their idea is good enough, the majors will capitulate. Kind of like those posting on SoundCloud.

But it don't really happen that way at all.

The way it happens is you get into the game, forge relationships and try to win. And if you're on the sidelines, decrying the game, your voice goes unheard. Once upon a time we had "Rolling Stone" and nothing else. Wenner's book was the Bible. Now we've got so many online publications that only a few matter. Like Vice. Which published the year's 50 worst albums. Isn't it funny that "Yeezus" is on it. The sycophants have lauded it, but the public has yet to embrace it. Could the public be right?

The hipsters need the public to be wrong. To embellish their image. But no one's paying attention to that image.

Furthermore, if you're truly snarky and offensive, we can just Google your ass and find out you live in your parents' basement and work at the library, or for the government, and those are honest pursuits, but if you think they entitle you to be heard, you're dreaming.

So if you want to play the game?

Go to school!

And learn how to write.

And know the only thing that works today is mass. That the Long Tail is a fiction, and that most creative work goes unheard.

You've got to be in the game for eons. You've got to build a fan base and be very good. And even worse, chances are you've got to link up with a traditional marketer or get a huge cash infusion to make it.

I didn't write the rules, I'm just reporting them.

"Vice's Worst 50 Albums Of 2013" (via Jason Hirschhorn's MediaRedefined, Jason's working 24/7 to be a player in the new world, seemingly everybody in Hollywood subscribes, oh, that's right, Hollywood's for wankers and pussies): http://bit.ly/1kqdM9a


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Thursday, 19 December 2013

I Don't Remember Your Name

I just had a long conversation with someone who didn't remember he'd met me.

I'm not good with names, but I'm great with faces. I remember conversations. And it's always so creepy, especially with girls...do I let on that we have history or do I just play...dumb.

Happens all the time. I run into an old schoolmate, someone I shared dinner with, and they've got no idea what transpired.

I used to explain the connection. But that never worked, it never brought us closer together. I told the story, they'd nod their head, and then we'd be further apart than before.

And after tonight's encounter a song started to go through my brain, the Records' "I Don't Remember Your Name."

"There I was in the middle of a crowd
At a party I didn't want to go to"

This actually happened. In the heart of the San Fernando Valley. It was the night I met my ex-wife. We'd been at a party at the house of Martha Davis of the Motels, and we stopped by at this other party to see our friend Jeff who never arrived. And when I whipped up all my gumption to speak with a woman who instantly rejected me, the Searchers' version of "Hearts In Her Eyes" played on the stereo.

The Searchers never could come back. Even though the album got a good review.

But the original, on the Records' "Crashes"...I played that incessantly in the interim between breaking up with my law school girlfriend and cohabiting with the woman who ultimately became my wife.

This was a different era. There was no YouTube, you had to buy it to hear it. And when I found the well-reviewed "Crashes" in the promo bin of my favorite store in Westwood, I bought it, and fell in love with it.

"Hearts In Her Eyes" was the opener. But the follow-up, "Girl In Golden Disc" was better.

"Save your heart
All for the girl in the golden disc"

That's what all we music nerds have in common, unrequited love. We see a girl and we become fixated. It happens just that fast. They become ours. And they don't even know it.

And then there was "Hearts Will Be Broken":

"I'm in no doubt
From your plans I've been excluded"

Does this still happen anymore? In this hyper-connected world where every kid in the class is invited to the birthday party? Some of us are born to be included, others fear being left out. Gets to the point where we believe we're behind a glass wall, wherein we can see them but they can't see us, we're observers, we just can't participate. And no one seems to know but us.

"I don't remember your name
I think it's best that I level with you
I don't remember your name
I know the face, won't you give me a clue
I don't remember your name
And I'll opine you don't remember mine"

But we never say this. We just fumble along.

And songs play in our head. Especially ones that radiate intelligence, that only we seem to know.

And we wander the universe looking for people to get the references. And when we find them, they become our best friends. At least it was this way back before everybody was a winner, when records were not merely hits or stiffs, when music was more about sitting alone in your home dreaming as opposed to bumping butts in the club.

Spotify playlist: http://spoti.fi/19WGdnq

P.S. You should play these tracks. You're going to be stunned by the thin vocals. But if you give them a shot, the lyrics and the changes will enrapture you.

P.P.S. The Records actually had a hit. Entitled "Starry Eyes." A breezy composition that ran up the chart in the pub rock/power pop era of 1978 England.


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The Story Is Not The Music

Who's got the time?

Beyonce may have delivered a video album that's got the media and the punters bloviating, but very little of the discussion is about the music, because it's become secondary to the game.

That's what music is today. I'm surprised Parker Brothers doesn't have a label.

Actually, there are multiple games involved.

The game of the executive is to get paid. So when you scratch your head and question short-term thinking, know that you literally have not walked a mile in their shoes. It's about the contract, not the music. Since most of these companies are owned by the public, not individuals. Come on, who in their right mind would start a record label? Only a delusional young fart, wet behind the ears and too stupid to go to business school. Starting a record label today is akin to going into competition with automakers, in Europe, where sales have tanked.

So the game of the indie label is to bitch.

That's the story of the year. Not Ylvis's Fox video or Katy Perry or Lady Gaga, but how Spotify has become the whipping boy. They're screeching from their smart phones, beginning Kickstarter campaigns, utilizing all the new technology to complain that the old business model wherein you sold ten tracks for more than ten bucks has been eviscerated. I'm actually chuckling as I write this. Yes, you want to go back to the old days when it was expensive to record and concert tickets were five bucks. Good luck with that.

And then there's the audience. Which is looking for cool. And is overloaded and has no time to waste listening to anything that's not superior.

Anybody trumpeting the sales of Beyonce's album has missed the point. The rules have changed. Forever. Now it's whether someone has LISTENED to your album!

Come on, how many CDs did you buy before Napster that went unplayed except for the hit.

I'll give you two. I own them. That Alicia Keys debut, with the irresistible "Fallin'". The rest of that album was garbage, I know, I played it. Ditto on Britney Spears's debut. Other than "...Baby One More Time" I can't even name another track. But since those albums sold millions, we were told music was burgeoning, that all was right in the world, even though most of what was sold went unheard.

This isn't about piracy, this is about a correction.

The bundle's been broken. People only want what they want. Make ten incredible tracks and they want all of 'em, but if you've only got one, that's all they need.

That's the game the audience is playing.

And the media is all about the horse race, just like in politics. It doesn't matter what the music sounds like, just whether the act won, i.e. sold a ton. Actually, the two fields are not that different. You've got to be good-looking, with a ton of money and spinmeisters. Yup, the same way you've ignored politics is the same way people are ignoring music, because it's not about music anymore.

Come on. Art is about inspiration. How much inspiration is there in records made by committee? It's all formula, all the time.

And there are those trumpeting the diversity of hip-hop, and the cred of indie rockers, but they don't realize that most of us are not paying attention. Because these genres have become caricatures of what they once were.

But you can't speak this truth in the music business, oh no, because that's undercutting the game!

Wherein we all make a lot of money, party all night and slap each other on the back. And if you don't agree, you're part of the problem.

And the problem, once again, is not piracy, but indifference.

There, I said it. We've got a whole system that most people just don't pay attention to. Music is like curling at the Winter Olympics. People drive by once a year to watch the Grammys, they buy a track or two, but really they've got better things to do with their time.

So how do we solve this problem?

1. Admit that everybody can't be rich and famous. Just because you made it, that doesn't mean we're interested.

2. Acknowledge that the audience only cares about great. Microsoft can't sell Windows phones and we're telling people Selena Gomez is worth paying attention to. We're wasting bandwidth, and people only have so much.

3. Forget the trappings. The fashion, the money, the lifestyle, they're obscuring the essence. The Beatles put out an album with a blank cover, the music spoke for itself, today it's all about imaging and promotion and the music comes last.

4. Forget about radio. It's calcified. It's beholden to advertisers. It doesn't serve the public. Only Top Forty gets any real traction, and any music in new genres is ignored. Music discovery must move online. The so-called "curation." Labels don't want this. They like radio, because they control it, it's a closed shop. But if you want to gain power in today's musical world, be the person who tells people what to listen to. And don't give them tons of choice, because people don't have tons of time, they just get overwhelmed. Just a few tracks please.

5. Stop bitching about streaming. If you're fighting piracy and streaming you're embracing the CD and decrying smartphones. Streaming is the best thing that ever happened to the music business. Because it delivers what the audience wants, everything at its fingertips. If that means some people make less, I want you to bring back record stores, expensive CDs, vinyl... Yup, the old game is through, even if you're playing your LPs, you're no different from a Civil War reenactor. Please get your head out of your butt and look forward.

6. Know that trumpeting sales figures and marketing success takes away from the music. Yup, you there at home, please name one track from the new Beyonce album that's all over the news. But you can name "Royals."

It's as if the music business has turned into Procter & Gamble, a marketing machine purveying unexciting wares, only in the case of music, none of it's necessary.

Yes, that's the truth. We don't need music. We need food and water. We like music.

But only the best music.

So the rich will get richer and the poor will bitch.

At least at this point the public is eating the popcorn and rendering an opinion. But if we keep focusing on rote tunes sold by orchestrated campaigns we risk people tuning out.

Yup, the game is better that the music.

You think everybody cares.

But they don't.


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Wednesday, 18 December 2013

Rhinofy-Live At The Academy Of Music 1971

"When your arms are empty, got nowhere to go
Come on out and catch a show
There'll be saints and sinners
You'll see losers and winners
All kinds of people you might want to know
Once you get it, you can't forget it
The W.S. Walcott medicine show"

That's the way it used to be. Concerts were not an event, but a show. Sure, you sometimes planned in advance, but other times your phone would ring and you'd hear the question...DO YOU WANNA GO?

And scalpers existed, but you could get a ticket. And if you really cared, you could work your way down front. This was long before the era of luxury boxes and gestapo security.

And hard drives and perfection.

It wasn't about getting it right, like in the video, there was no dancing involved, the show was always a little bit different, which was one of the reasons you went, to be there the night...

The Band played with a horn section.

Yes, they just released an extended version of the Band's legendary "Rock Of Ages" shows.

Can't say that I was ever as enamored as the press, but that doesn't mean I didn't own the original double album and know every lick, it's just that it's hard to improve on that second album, with "King Harvest (Has Surely Come)."

Oh, that's on this package too. But the original is so INTIMATE! You think you're listening to a lone man in a one room shack telling his tale. It's eerie, and when the album hit the runout groove, the silence was positively creepy.

But the best song on "Rock Of Ages" and this package didn't appear on any studio album, it's "Don't Do It."

It's the GROOVE!

"You know I tried to do my best
'Cause I tried to do my best
Don't do it
Don't you break my heart"

That was the best thing about being at the show, everything else fell away. If your girl had left you, if you didn't have the cash for next month's rent, there was a multi-hour respite when all that didn't matter.

Then there's Richard Manuel's vocal on "Across The Great Divide."

Levon gets all the kudos. Rick Danko has almost been completely forgotten, Richard Manuel has.

That's the life of a musician. You can put in your thirty years, but you get neither a gold watch nor a pension. You end up just as you started, with your joy and your despair. And when the despair eclipses the joy...

You know rockers die young.

And you can hear all the pain in Richard's vocal on this live track.

Sure the hits are here. But the Band was never about the hits. Rather, it was... a band.

And that's what you hear in this package. A rollicking enterprise rolling down the track. Back when we used to want to know everybody at the show, instead of making sure we were separate from those less wealthy, privileged and connected.

In days of yore, this new package would go unheard. But now, with Spotify, you can check the whole thing out!

(And don't argue with me about payments, if no one buys something, you don't make any money, and music is best when it's heard...LISTEN!)

Spotify link: http://spoti.fi/p6HcZ8


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Tuesday, 17 December 2013

Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Inductees

Hallelujah, they finally get it right.

I'm not saying Yes doesn't belong inside, and Deep Purple for the riff to "Smoke On The Water" alone, but it's been years since there was no controversy and everyone agreed.

Except for maybe Kiss.

But the point is there's no hip-hop, no jazz, no Madonna, no questionables like Patti Smith, everyone is deserving and it's about time.

NIRVANA

No questions asked. An automatic.

Let this be a lesson to the industry, that we should focus on individuals as opposed to money and commitments. If so, Kurt Cobain would be alive today.

Just try going on the road. Playing to an adoring throng and then getting in the bus with the same dudes you've known since high school, trying to come down to do it all over again. It takes drugs. And if you're doing drugs it's just a matter of time until you die.

Kurt was pushed too hard. And felt so alone. That's the conundrum of stardom, oftentimes you're the only one left inside, the world spins around you and you're frequently oblivious.

I know nothing about his death you don't, but I will say this guy had an ability to fuse melody and punk in a way that the public just could not resist. Add in the ability to emote with his voice and you have possibly the last rock superstar.

Not that Krist and Dave didn't help. But there are only a few true superstars, and Kurt Cobain was one of them.

Come as you are. Please. Don't dress up. Don't make a deal with a fashion house. Don't do endorsements. Keep it punk.

That's why we believed in Nirvana. Because Kurt believed in rock and roll. Too bad he won't be at the induction ceremony.

CAT STEVENS

And where do the children play?

He wrote "The First Cut Is The Deepest" before anybody knew who he was.

Ditto "Trouble," featured in the classic "Harold and Maude."

And if you didn't play "Tea For The Tillerman" incessantly, you weren't alive. Back when rock was a state of mind more than a sound. Yes, Cat Stevens was truly rock and roll.

As for becoming a Muslim... Story is he committed himself to God after nearly drowning. Near-death experiences will change you. And at least he's still alive.

The albums got worse as time went on. But there were so many hits, such a sound, that this guy would be successful in any era.

He might not have found that "Hard Headed Woman," but we were enraptured by his search.

The hit was "Wild World," but "Sad Lisa" was so seventies, so great, when you didn't have to boast and play to the last row, but could be intimate, to the point where we were all leaning in.

But my favorite track on "Tea For The Tillerman" is the closer, the title cut, only a bit longer than a minute, you had no choice but to drop the needle on the LP and listen to it again.

PETER GABRIEL

The road less taken.

He quit Genesis just when the band was getting traction.

And the third solo album is the best, with "Biko," but he's never done anything you can shrug your shoulders at and say NEXT!

Too much talent, it's too bad he's not still making new, original music. But the problem is the audience is not ready for it. But Gabriel has got a hard core of fans possibly exceeding those of any other act on this list, in intensity if not numbers. Proving you can shoot high instead of dumbing it down.

Wanna tip? Listen to "Secret World Live," one of the top ten live albums ever, one which no one seems to know about. Especially the extended versions of "Secret World" and "In Your Eyes."

But it all comes down to "Solsbury Hill."

"I was feeling part of the scenery"

Alienation. It's the essence of rock and roll. If these people could fit in, play on the football team, date a cheerleader, we'd never have this exquisite greatness.

"I walked right out of the machinery"

That's what we all did. We weren't best friends with our parents, they were clueless, we were forging our own path.

"My heart going boom, boom, boom"

Do you feel alive? Too many are somnambulant. But the best music wakes us up.

"Hey,' he said 'Grab your things
I've come to take you home'"

Here we go! Pack up your old kit bag. We're gonna go down the rabbit hole of rock and roll. To the Fillmore, to Woodstock, to the arena, to the stadium, not every once in a while, but all the time, because rock and roll was the most important thing in our lives, superior to our automobiles, more important than technology.

We're going home.

Just put on the record and...LISTEN!

LINDA RONSTADT

"Oh baby don't it feel like heaven right now
Don't it feel like something from a dream"

The waiting truly is the hardest part. The fact that Linda Ronstadt wasn't inducted upon initial eligibility is a travesty. That she had to get sick for these moribund men to vote her in... These same men who jerked off to her, who didn't even need a picture, who could just close their eyes, because she was just that ubiquitous, everyone knew the cute style icon the men wanted to impress and the girls wanted to befriend. Linda Ronstadt was the seventies' biggest female rock star. Hell, only Zeppelin and the Eagles were in her league. But men hate letting the women inside. Then again, Linda never begged. She snorted cocaine and screwed the desirable people just like the guys. Which is why she was always an insider and the idiots on this committee are not. Because musicians comprise a club, and the fans are not included, not the critics, only the writers, players and singers. They're who we want to be. And inside the inner sanctum...it's all jokes and references and life in a lane so
fast only the strong survive.

If I were Linda Ronstadt I'd give the R&RHOF the middle finger and refuse to show up.

But she will.

And I know she won't be conciliatory. I know she'll tell it like it is. She's not afraid to be three dimensional, to speak her truth, which is why she's a star and you're not.

HALL & OATES

"You're a rich girl, and you've gone too far
'Cause you know it don't matter anyway
You can rely on the old man's money
You can rely on the old man's money
It's a bitch girl, but it's gone too far"

To hear this sound emanating from the radio was...enough to make you drive immediately to buy the album, "Bigger Than Both Of Us," which it truly was. Hall & Oates went from obscurity to superstardom. Even better, after falling all the way back down, even having to play clubs, they came all the way back, with the infectious "You Make My Dreams" and so much more...

It was the "Royals" of yesteryear. You only had to hear a few notes.

"What I want you've got
Though it might be hard to handle"

Yes, it was hard for the wannabes of the twenty first century to admit how much talent the band actually had, how good a voice Daryl Hall possessed. This isn't yacht rock, unless the term represents something so good it rains down money to the point where you can buy one!

Hall & Oates are so good.

Come on, who had that many hits.

And now they've got this victory lap. This inclusion. Just when they'd given up on it.

Because the sound has been burgeoning, become deafening. Hell, who wouldn't want to be invited to Daryl's house?

KISS

Induct Bill Aucoin. Come on, if you're including Brian Epstein and my buddy Andrew Loog Oldham, without whom there'd be no Beatles or Stones, Aucoin deserves to be in too, for without him there'd be no Kiss.

Which might be okay.

But still, even I will admit I liked "Rock And Roll All Nite." It was a band for those who missed the sixties. And despite Gene Simmons being the number one blowhard in music, the guy with no sense of humor about himself, they had a string of hits.

My favorite?

LICK IT UP!

"Don't wanna wait 'til you know me better"

This is the ESSENCE of Motley Crue, which played Kiss's role in the MTV eighties. Come on, let's throw off our inhibitions, take off our clothes in this pre-AIDs era and have some fun!

"You gotta live like you're on vacation"

Before the baby boomers, life was boring. A sentence. But rock and roll said NO MAS! Fun is the one thing that money can't buy. Except a ticket to the show. Where the amps are big and powerful and the songs are known by heart and you're amongst your brethren and there's nowhere you'd rather be.

So...LICK IT UP!

Come on. Life is short. Discover what you're into, and go full bore, to the max. This is what all of the above inductees did. They didn't play it safe, have a fall back position, they just went for greatness.

And we followed them.

P.S. The E Street Band. My only point is if we're gonna induct them, how about the rest of the backup bands? This is b.s., evidence that the R&RHOF is east coast-centric, driven by Jann Wenner and Jon Landau and the holier than thou who think we're listening.

We are not. You don't have to be inducted into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame to mean something to people. You just have to reach deep down inside and throw your innermost feelings down on wax. Do it right, and it's life itself.

That's rock and roll.

Rock ain't money... Unless you're peeling off hundreds to pay hotel damages.

Rock ain't awards... If you need a Grammy to justify your existence, you lead a sorry little life.

Rock is about ATTITUDE! And SOUND!

Are you willing to do it your way? Not worried about what anybody says? Whether it be Simon Cowell or Doug Morris or Dr. Luke? Are you willing to piss all over the powers-that-be, stand up and lead?

Then you're ready to rock and roll.

And I've only got one message for you. Go straight down to Guitar Center, buy that Les Paul or Stratocaster, and plug it into that Marshall or Fender and TURN IT UP!

Drive your parents crazy.

It's not about tattoos.

It's not about clothing.

It's about what's inside!

It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock and roll.

But if you do...we wanna party with you all night and every day.

"You show us everything you've got
You keep on dancing and the room gets hot
You drive us wild, we'll drive you crazy"

Yes, there's no rock and roll without an audience.

"You keep on shouting, you keep on shouting"

"I wanna rock and roll all night and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all night and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all night and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all night and party every day"

I certainly do. And so do you.

And there's no better place to start than with the above inductees. If you're not happy with these acts, if you don't want to listen to their music, I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU!


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Monday, 16 December 2013

Beyonce's Album

It's a stunt. No different from Radiohead's "In Rainbows." Unrepeatable by mere mortals, never mind wannabes and also-rans.

That's how desperate Apple is. It lets Beyonce circumvent its rules and release a "video album," so the record industry can have its bundle and the Cupertino company can delude itself into believing that it's got a solution to Spotify, when the Swedish streaming company is chasing YouTube, not iTunes.

And the media is so impressed by numbers that it trumpets the story, believing its role is to amplify rather than analyze.

Yes, it was a story. The same way a bomb or SpaceX or anything new gets people's attention. Only in this case, there was something to buy. Whoo-hoo! We got lemmings and fans to lay down their credit cards to spend money for the work of a superstar, as if this is a new paradigm.

And we've got Rob Stringer and the rest of the inane music business slapping its back, declaring victory.

What a bunch of hogwash.

The story of 2013 is cacophony. How it's almost impossible to get your message out to anybody but those who truly care. Because we're inundated with a tsunami of information and can't be bothered by that which we are not interested in.

Yes, in a world where Snapchat is burgeoning and Instagram allows private messages we're trumpeting something that went viral.

That's so 2012, that's so "Gangnam Style."

The bottom line is Beyonce is a superstar. And superstars get traction. And everybody else is close to ignored. And you become a superstar by having a bunch of money and power behind you.

Name this year's big viral music video.

There isn't one. That game is gone too. And anything that moves is supported by the big boys, it's all about manipulation.

So you do the same thing Beyonce does. You drop your album with no advance publicity. Will that be news?

OF COURSE NOT!

We've seen the trick!

Beyonce has put in years of hard work and hit tracks to get to the point where people pay attention.

If you've got a stiff album can you whip your audience into a frenzy and get them to buy it first day out by doing no advance publicity? In other words, would Gaga have been better off doing what Beyonce did?

I'd say so.

But that wouldn't work for long. And the point here truly is longevity.

Yes, at the heart of this Beyonce project is old school thinking. Which is let's release an ALBUM!

Are we gonna be talking about "Epic" a year from now? Three months from now?

There's a good chance we're not. That's what's wrong with the album construct, it was built for a different time. When we were starved for information and people waited for radio to work a "new" single years after the album was released.

But these days the entire album is available for free the day it comes out. Do you really expect those sitting on the fence to decide to purchase 18 months out? That was the old game, deliver enough hit singles to convert those who were unsure. The new game is to constantly release product so that the audience will continue to be enticed.

PSY didn't have a follow-up single. Oh, he released one, it got a bit of traction out of curiosity, then disappeared, I dare you to name it.

Carly Rae Jepsen had the hit of the summer and had no follow-up and is now forgotten.

Robin Thicke released an album, but all people wanted was the single, he's a trivia question, do you think he's going to be invited to sing "Blurred Lines" at the 2014 AMAs? Ha!

What's your plan Stan? Just because you've got ten tracks that does not mean anybody is interested.

And that's what you need, a plan. And the plan can't be to sell people one collection at one time. That's as if Google only updated its search engine once a month, instead of constantly. How often do you think you'd go back to Google if that was the case?

It comes down to music. And careers. And today being an artist means constantly creating, building an audience and holding it.

This surprise album changes none of that.

If you think there are lessons to be learned here, you come home from Magic Castle and try to duplicate the tricks.

It's a novelty. A footnote. Near meaningless.

Beyonce is a star. If she tried to do this a year from now, almost nobody would be talking about it.

Next.


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