Death is not distant, it's inevitable, and ever-closer.
No one knows anything. Confidence is a front. Everybody is insecure.
No one cares about your SAT scores unless they aced the test.
We're all lonely looking to be connected.
You'll regret choices earlier in your life, but you'll accept them.
You'll want the decade back when you were lost and drifting.
You're never going to recover from some physical ills, aches and pains are part of the process of dying, and that's what you're doing, every day.
Women inject their lips to look good to other women, the same way they buy and wear trendy outfits and shoes. Men just want someone who will listen to them, soothe them and have sex with them.
Your parents said television was the idiot box, and you feel guilty every time you watch for hours, but you're addicted.
Being good-looking is overrated. Sure, it opens some doors, but it stunts you in other ways. Character is built by challenges, if you avoid them, you're at a loss.
Having friends is better than having money.
If you were never on the path to riches, you will never be rich.
Doors are closing every day. If there's something you want to do, start now.
Acceptance is no easier than it was when you were five, but it's necessary in order to soldier on.
You really want to be involved with someone your own age, because no matter how attractive a younger person might be, they do not get the references.
If a couple says they have no arguments, their divorce is imminent. Or one member lives in quiet desperation, fearful of stating their truth.
People let you down.
Everybody is out for themselves. They make decisions accordingly. Don't take it personally.
Some people were dead at thirty. It's a full time job trying to stay alive.
Most of what you learned in school you've already forgotten.
You lament they didn't have calculators in school when you were forced to use a slide rule.
Where you went to college doesn't matter, unless it was Harvard or Yale, because those are clubs whose members open doors for each other.
If you're working for the man, it's just a matter of time before you lose your job.
You probably won't make as much money as your parents.
You probably drive a worse car every time you get a new one. Once upon a time you could afford a Volvo, now you drive a Camry.
People are dying to tell you their story. Ask them questions. They'll tell you everything.
You'll become more comfortable in your own skin.
You'll be happier.
You'll stop doing things you don't want to do. Actually, this happens not long after you move out of your parents' house.
You'll stop being fascinated by that which consumed you previously. Sports may become meaningless.
You won't know who the people they're talking about in "People" and the rest of the gossip rags are, and you won't care.
You'll realize no one leaves their mark, except for a few people who didn't know they were doing so, so it's a futile pursuit.
Wrinkles only bother those who have them. Beauty changes when we get older. We're looking for a glint in the eye, a sense of satisfaction and adventure.
If you're up for anything, we're attracted to you.
No one can keep a secret.
There are truly rich people and chances are you're not one of them. Unless you've got a friend, you'll rarely get the best seat, you'll rarely get preferential treatment. You don't want to see yourself as one of the unwashed masses, but you are.
You don't want to be President.
Life is topsy-turvy, just because someone's successful today, that does not mean they will be so tomorrow.
Even the best and the brightest have kids who screw up.
Not everybody has to go to college to be successful, although this is impossible for parents to accept when their children drop out.
People oftentimes don't want to hear the truth, you'll have trouble getting ahead if you don't know when to hold your tongue.
Everybody gets cancer, if you ain't got it, your time is coming.
You think you want to live forever, but you don't, because none of your friends will be around to share it with.
There are two types of people, those who want to retire and those who don't.
There are two types of people, those who prepared for retirement and those who didn't, and some have to continue to work when they don't want to.
Your health may not allow you to continue to work, even if you want to.
It's fun learning what the people you grew up with are up to, but you really don't want to hang with any of them that you weren't hanging with before the Internet.
People don't change. Certainly not unless they want to. So expect the person who bugged you in school to still bug you as an adult. And know that chances are you can never ever get back together with your ex because what caused the breakup back then still exists.
Marriage is hard.
Divorce is even harder.
Sometimes life is better with a new partner, but sometimes it's not.
People who want to make you feel inadequate feel inadequate themselves.
Not everybody grows up, some are still bullies.
People who would hit you as kids won't hit you as an adult, mostly because they're afraid of the lawsuit.
The biggest rebel in school is complacent as an adult.
Some of your best friends will become Republicans.
Some of your best friends will retreat to religion.
You'll laugh at those trying to look younger, or follow their lead down the path of inadequacy.
You'll regret you stopped piano lessons.
You'll see the passing of your parents as a precursor to your own demise. Once they're gone, you're next.
You'll love making references to old movies and songs.
Unless you have children, the Top Forty will become meaningless.
You'll be stunned that the biggest TV shows and stars of yore will become forgotten as time goes by.
You'll be more interested in the news, and more interested in politics.
You'll think it was better when you were young.
Even though you are closer to death, you won't want to be young again. You had so many questions, you were so angst-ridden, you were searching. As the cliche goes, youth is wasted on the young.
The key to longevity is letting go of the past.
You'll look back at one specific time in your life when you were happiest, and you'll discover the people who shared the experience agree with you.
You'll hear from all your significant others, looking for...what they're not sure.
You'll recognize hype for what it is. And become disillusioned by it and advertising.
You'll realize every generation has a teen phenom, a boy band that captures girls' hearts that fades away.
Stars who can't go out in public during their heyday will be at the mall buying keys and no one will pay attention to them.
Being famous is overrated, you treasure your anonymity.
Life is for the living, so live it up!
____________
Inspired by "What You Learn in Your 40s": http://nyti.ms/MEjhUF
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Saturday, 1 March 2014
Friday, 28 February 2014
Rhinofy-Todd Rundgren Primer
1. "Hello It's Me"
Todd's not singing, but he wrote it, and was a member of the band. I still prefer this to Todd's remake/hit single. The entire first Nazz album is a classic, check it out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtNQvt99P2w
2. "We Gotta Get You A Woman"
Pure magic, written for Paul Fishkin, Stevie Nicks' ultimate lover and co-proprietor of her record label, this was on Todd's Ampex debut and made it into the Top Twenty, he'd be legendary for this if it was the only thing he ever did! Gives hope to every red-blooded, self-conscious American male.
3. "Long Flowing Robe"
The hit single that wasn't, from Todd's true masterpiece, his second solo album, "Runt: The Ballad of Todd Rundgren." This is not the best track on this exquisite LP, but it's the catchiest.
4. "A Long Time, A Long Way To Go"
From the same album, the second.
It's so MAJESTIC!
5. "Wolfman Jack"
Another hit single that wasn't, from Todd's legendary double album "Something/Anything?"
Todd's problem was he was too talented. He could write hit singles at will. Then again, this was just a bit too hip. Infectious.
6. "The Night The Carousel Burned Down"
You can hear the ponies going up and down, right?
So SWEET!
7. "Dust In The Wind"
A power ballad before that term was coined. Phenomenal.
8. "Piss Aaron"
Because unlike today's stars, Todd Rundgren had a sense of HUMOR!
9. "Just One Victory"
Including everything but the kitchen sink, this closer to "A Wizard/A True Star," the disappointing follow-up to "Something/Anything?," builds and builds to the point where you cannot help but raise your arms and sing along.
10. "A Dream Goes On Forever"
Too good to be a single, a veritable masterpiece, it's reminiscent of nothing so much as the Left Banke's classics, this alone will make you believe your life is worth living.
11. "Real Man"
An epic. A ride into the future that looks back to the past. The way he drops down and sings that deep inside him there's a real man...if your heart is not touched, you don't have one.
12. "Can We Still Be Friends"
Another song too good to be a hit, this is heartfelt and perfect, we've all been there, but Todd encapsulates it all in a three and a half minute masterpiece.
13. "You Cried Wolf"
Also from "Hermit Of Mink Hollow," like "Can We Still Be Friends," wherein Todd returned to his roots to show he still had it, this draws from the same vein as "Wolfman Jack" and is just as hooky, if not more.
14. "Love Is The Answer"
Known primarily in its England Dan & John Ford Coley iteration, the original is less saccharine and even more meaningful.
Done with his prog band Utopia, this is when that incarnation veered back to pop on the album "Oops! Wrong Planet."
"And when you feel afraid, love one another
When you've lost your way, love one another
When you're all alone, love one another
When you're far from home, love one another
When you're down and out, love one another
All your hope's run out, love one another
When you need a friend, love one another
When you're near the end
Love
We got to love
We got to love one another"
John Lennon is famous for singing about it, but it's Todd Rundgren who nailed it.
Love is truly the answer, and if you love Todd Rundgren, you know what I'm talking about, because truly, TODD IS GOD!!
Spotify playlist: http://spoti.fi/p6HcZ8
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Todd's not singing, but he wrote it, and was a member of the band. I still prefer this to Todd's remake/hit single. The entire first Nazz album is a classic, check it out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtNQvt99P2w
2. "We Gotta Get You A Woman"
Pure magic, written for Paul Fishkin, Stevie Nicks' ultimate lover and co-proprietor of her record label, this was on Todd's Ampex debut and made it into the Top Twenty, he'd be legendary for this if it was the only thing he ever did! Gives hope to every red-blooded, self-conscious American male.
3. "Long Flowing Robe"
The hit single that wasn't, from Todd's true masterpiece, his second solo album, "Runt: The Ballad of Todd Rundgren." This is not the best track on this exquisite LP, but it's the catchiest.
4. "A Long Time, A Long Way To Go"
From the same album, the second.
It's so MAJESTIC!
5. "Wolfman Jack"
Another hit single that wasn't, from Todd's legendary double album "Something/Anything?"
Todd's problem was he was too talented. He could write hit singles at will. Then again, this was just a bit too hip. Infectious.
6. "The Night The Carousel Burned Down"
You can hear the ponies going up and down, right?
So SWEET!
7. "Dust In The Wind"
A power ballad before that term was coined. Phenomenal.
8. "Piss Aaron"
Because unlike today's stars, Todd Rundgren had a sense of HUMOR!
9. "Just One Victory"
Including everything but the kitchen sink, this closer to "A Wizard/A True Star," the disappointing follow-up to "Something/Anything?," builds and builds to the point where you cannot help but raise your arms and sing along.
10. "A Dream Goes On Forever"
Too good to be a single, a veritable masterpiece, it's reminiscent of nothing so much as the Left Banke's classics, this alone will make you believe your life is worth living.
11. "Real Man"
An epic. A ride into the future that looks back to the past. The way he drops down and sings that deep inside him there's a real man...if your heart is not touched, you don't have one.
12. "Can We Still Be Friends"
Another song too good to be a hit, this is heartfelt and perfect, we've all been there, but Todd encapsulates it all in a three and a half minute masterpiece.
13. "You Cried Wolf"
Also from "Hermit Of Mink Hollow," like "Can We Still Be Friends," wherein Todd returned to his roots to show he still had it, this draws from the same vein as "Wolfman Jack" and is just as hooky, if not more.
14. "Love Is The Answer"
Known primarily in its England Dan & John Ford Coley iteration, the original is less saccharine and even more meaningful.
Done with his prog band Utopia, this is when that incarnation veered back to pop on the album "Oops! Wrong Planet."
"And when you feel afraid, love one another
When you've lost your way, love one another
When you're all alone, love one another
When you're far from home, love one another
When you're down and out, love one another
All your hope's run out, love one another
When you need a friend, love one another
When you're near the end
Love
We got to love
We got to love one another"
John Lennon is famous for singing about it, but it's Todd Rundgren who nailed it.
Love is truly the answer, and if you love Todd Rundgren, you know what I'm talking about, because truly, TODD IS GOD!!
Spotify playlist: http://spoti.fi/p6HcZ8
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Thursday, 27 February 2014
The Future
MAJOR LABELS
Survive. Because they've got the money and the relationships with radio. Wanna compete? Have the money and the relationships. Until the radio hegemony is broken, the major labels will sustain.
RADIO
It's the curation, stupid! And the ability to garner and maintain an audience. No one wants to go where no one else is. Prior to the Internet there was very little off the grid and we were all aware of it. Now, music, like information, is infinite. Do you really want to live on Pluto?
SOUNDSCAN
Toast.
Let's see, they get their "accurate" numbers from record stores, which are declining, and sales no longer mean anything, gross does. Look at your bottom line, not specific elements. Add up your recording and streaming revenue and tickets, merch and sponsorship dollars then tell me whether you're winning or not. Tickets are much more expensive than they used to be. And sponsorship dwarfs the dollars of yore. To focus on recording dollars is to miss the point.
SPOTIFY
Helped Universal's numbers. Read the reports. If you believe streaming is the death of music and there are no dollars involved, you're uneducated, you're probably still saying that P2P is gonna kill the incentive to record! But the truth is there are more recordings than ever and I don't know anybody who steals music anymore, why?
BILLBOARD
The bible no more! To think Janice Min can save "Billboard" is to believe Guggenheim didn't overpay for it! But focusing on pictures and celebrities in an era where viewpoint and voice matter...is to miss the point. In other words, whatever "Billboard" was it will never be again.
ROLLING STONE
Losing Matt Taibbi is like your lead singer quitting the band. Just like MTV, "Rolling Stone" fumbled its digital future. Neither of these outlets mean much online. There's still a vacuum without an inhabiting music site. Wanna know why? Because everybody in music is so busy saying their stuff is better, and there's so little money involved, that anybody with a brain is in tech and all we're left with is the nerds who believe the mainstream is anathema. But the truth is, we're all gravitating towards the mainstream, it's inevitable in a Tower of Babel society, you want to find someone who can speak your language, anyone.
BLOCKBUSTERS
Will rule the future. If you're not a star, you're a nobody. Sure, fans will support journeymen, but the old saw wherein you pay your dues and you gradually climb up the ranks? It don't happen that way no more. Now either you write and play music that many can get, or you reside in your niche.
MANAGERS
Same as it ever was. Every hit act has one. Having a great manager is more important than having a great deal, just ask the Beatles!
ALBUMS
Look at it from the perspective of the listener... He's time constrained and only wants the best. No one has a short attention span, everybody can just separate the wheat from the chaff, instantly. Don't tell people they have to give your music time to percolate, no one's got that time. You're in the hit business whether you're radio-friendly or not. You need to create the one hit listen. Which is why Max Martin and Dr. Luke are so successful, they understand the game. You might pooh-pooh the hits, but a lot of work went into them and they're not easy to create. Making money is hard. Not because people don't want to pay, but because they don't want to pay for crap! If every one of the tracks on your album is a certifiable smash, release an LP. But it turns out the public only had time for Adele's "21."
VISIBILITY
This week's soon to be forgotten new album...BECK'S! An unbelievable publicity campaign with absolutely no sticking power. Next week there's no story. Unless your track is going to get radio play or you're constantly on the road playing it it's got a shelf life of close to zero. Your hard core fans buy it, everybody else forgets it. Tomorrow's musicians have a full time job staying in the public eye. It's your job to figure out how to do this. But the best way is to dribble out quality music. Because remember...it's about the bottom line, not anemic record sales.
EXPERIENCE
Not everybody can divine a hit. Not everybody knows where the bodies are buried. Which is why the business is run by old men (and a few women!) They've got intuition. You might think you know what's going on, but you really don't. Pay your dues!
TAYLOR SWIFT
Is the second most influential artist working. The first is the rappers. Anyone can be a rapper, note I didn't say a GOOD rapper, but a rapper. Learning how to play an instrument and write songs requires a bigger investment. But people are making it. Just like Mariah Carey begat Christina Aguilera and the Melisma Maddies of TV singing competitions, we're going to have a bunch of girls singing songs from the heart. Ms. Swift is the biggest star in America, if you're not trying to replicate her success, you're looking up a blind alley. She's represents everything classic rock used to...catchy stuff sung from the heart that sets your mind free.
COUNTRY
Is only going to get bigger. Because not everybody's a hipster and people clamor for songs that speak to their condition that they can sing along with.
YOUTUBE
Just like Netflix is the majority of bandwidth, YouTube is propped up by music. It's where fans go to testify. If they're not making videos of themselves singing your song...it's not a hit. Video is the new radio. Especially now that everybody can compete. Not everybody is listening to the same radio station, if they're listening at all. But everybody has YouTube at their fingertips and visits the site on a regular basis. It's America's radio station. Just check the views of those monster hits!
ELECTRONIC MUSIC
Who knows? It survives. Does it surpass hip-hop to become the dominant format? Maybe... After all, Avicii's "Wake Me Up" just became the most played Spotify track of all time. Worldwide. And it is a worldwide business, more than ever before. Everybody's got money, music is the universal language, speak it.
CREDIBILITY
Do not conflate the wannabe famous no-talent youngsters with true stars. Biggest star of the under twenty set this year? Lorde, with "Royals." Yes, the less than perfectly good looking geek with the nerdy boyfriend who speaks her mind and truth to power. If you think it's about cozying up to the Fortune 500, you're still living in the last decade, or admitting to yourself your music doesn't capture the zeitgeist, and therefore most people are not interested in it, or can enjoy it today and then forget it. Quick quiz... Name two songs from Jay Z's Samsung album! Better yet, two songs from Beyonce's new LP! How about two from Springsteen's! Those three albums had reams of press, but none of them have stuck. Sticking is the key, not mainstream media coverage, certainly not paid for by an electronics company that's hipper than your tunes.
CLASSIC ROCK
Soon to be dead on the road. We've got somewhere between five and ten years left. See 'em now, before they lose their voices or die. We're in the middle of a transition wherein the younger acts are generating the touring dollars. It's happening.
MBAs
Will continue to have no place in the music business, because art can't be quantified and one hit record blows all your projections to hell. Sure, controlling costs and knowing where the dollars are is important, but not as much as great music. There's no soul in tech, but soul is the foundation of music.
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Survive. Because they've got the money and the relationships with radio. Wanna compete? Have the money and the relationships. Until the radio hegemony is broken, the major labels will sustain.
RADIO
It's the curation, stupid! And the ability to garner and maintain an audience. No one wants to go where no one else is. Prior to the Internet there was very little off the grid and we were all aware of it. Now, music, like information, is infinite. Do you really want to live on Pluto?
SOUNDSCAN
Toast.
Let's see, they get their "accurate" numbers from record stores, which are declining, and sales no longer mean anything, gross does. Look at your bottom line, not specific elements. Add up your recording and streaming revenue and tickets, merch and sponsorship dollars then tell me whether you're winning or not. Tickets are much more expensive than they used to be. And sponsorship dwarfs the dollars of yore. To focus on recording dollars is to miss the point.
SPOTIFY
Helped Universal's numbers. Read the reports. If you believe streaming is the death of music and there are no dollars involved, you're uneducated, you're probably still saying that P2P is gonna kill the incentive to record! But the truth is there are more recordings than ever and I don't know anybody who steals music anymore, why?
BILLBOARD
The bible no more! To think Janice Min can save "Billboard" is to believe Guggenheim didn't overpay for it! But focusing on pictures and celebrities in an era where viewpoint and voice matter...is to miss the point. In other words, whatever "Billboard" was it will never be again.
ROLLING STONE
Losing Matt Taibbi is like your lead singer quitting the band. Just like MTV, "Rolling Stone" fumbled its digital future. Neither of these outlets mean much online. There's still a vacuum without an inhabiting music site. Wanna know why? Because everybody in music is so busy saying their stuff is better, and there's so little money involved, that anybody with a brain is in tech and all we're left with is the nerds who believe the mainstream is anathema. But the truth is, we're all gravitating towards the mainstream, it's inevitable in a Tower of Babel society, you want to find someone who can speak your language, anyone.
BLOCKBUSTERS
Will rule the future. If you're not a star, you're a nobody. Sure, fans will support journeymen, but the old saw wherein you pay your dues and you gradually climb up the ranks? It don't happen that way no more. Now either you write and play music that many can get, or you reside in your niche.
MANAGERS
Same as it ever was. Every hit act has one. Having a great manager is more important than having a great deal, just ask the Beatles!
ALBUMS
Look at it from the perspective of the listener... He's time constrained and only wants the best. No one has a short attention span, everybody can just separate the wheat from the chaff, instantly. Don't tell people they have to give your music time to percolate, no one's got that time. You're in the hit business whether you're radio-friendly or not. You need to create the one hit listen. Which is why Max Martin and Dr. Luke are so successful, they understand the game. You might pooh-pooh the hits, but a lot of work went into them and they're not easy to create. Making money is hard. Not because people don't want to pay, but because they don't want to pay for crap! If every one of the tracks on your album is a certifiable smash, release an LP. But it turns out the public only had time for Adele's "21."
VISIBILITY
This week's soon to be forgotten new album...BECK'S! An unbelievable publicity campaign with absolutely no sticking power. Next week there's no story. Unless your track is going to get radio play or you're constantly on the road playing it it's got a shelf life of close to zero. Your hard core fans buy it, everybody else forgets it. Tomorrow's musicians have a full time job staying in the public eye. It's your job to figure out how to do this. But the best way is to dribble out quality music. Because remember...it's about the bottom line, not anemic record sales.
EXPERIENCE
Not everybody can divine a hit. Not everybody knows where the bodies are buried. Which is why the business is run by old men (and a few women!) They've got intuition. You might think you know what's going on, but you really don't. Pay your dues!
TAYLOR SWIFT
Is the second most influential artist working. The first is the rappers. Anyone can be a rapper, note I didn't say a GOOD rapper, but a rapper. Learning how to play an instrument and write songs requires a bigger investment. But people are making it. Just like Mariah Carey begat Christina Aguilera and the Melisma Maddies of TV singing competitions, we're going to have a bunch of girls singing songs from the heart. Ms. Swift is the biggest star in America, if you're not trying to replicate her success, you're looking up a blind alley. She's represents everything classic rock used to...catchy stuff sung from the heart that sets your mind free.
COUNTRY
Is only going to get bigger. Because not everybody's a hipster and people clamor for songs that speak to their condition that they can sing along with.
YOUTUBE
Just like Netflix is the majority of bandwidth, YouTube is propped up by music. It's where fans go to testify. If they're not making videos of themselves singing your song...it's not a hit. Video is the new radio. Especially now that everybody can compete. Not everybody is listening to the same radio station, if they're listening at all. But everybody has YouTube at their fingertips and visits the site on a regular basis. It's America's radio station. Just check the views of those monster hits!
ELECTRONIC MUSIC
Who knows? It survives. Does it surpass hip-hop to become the dominant format? Maybe... After all, Avicii's "Wake Me Up" just became the most played Spotify track of all time. Worldwide. And it is a worldwide business, more than ever before. Everybody's got money, music is the universal language, speak it.
CREDIBILITY
Do not conflate the wannabe famous no-talent youngsters with true stars. Biggest star of the under twenty set this year? Lorde, with "Royals." Yes, the less than perfectly good looking geek with the nerdy boyfriend who speaks her mind and truth to power. If you think it's about cozying up to the Fortune 500, you're still living in the last decade, or admitting to yourself your music doesn't capture the zeitgeist, and therefore most people are not interested in it, or can enjoy it today and then forget it. Quick quiz... Name two songs from Jay Z's Samsung album! Better yet, two songs from Beyonce's new LP! How about two from Springsteen's! Those three albums had reams of press, but none of them have stuck. Sticking is the key, not mainstream media coverage, certainly not paid for by an electronics company that's hipper than your tunes.
CLASSIC ROCK
Soon to be dead on the road. We've got somewhere between five and ten years left. See 'em now, before they lose their voices or die. We're in the middle of a transition wherein the younger acts are generating the touring dollars. It's happening.
MBAs
Will continue to have no place in the music business, because art can't be quantified and one hit record blows all your projections to hell. Sure, controlling costs and knowing where the dollars are is important, but not as much as great music. There's no soul in tech, but soul is the foundation of music.
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Your Bright Baby Blues
Everything sounds good when it rains.
On the east coast, rain is a nuisance. On the west, it's a novelty, kind of like snow in Hot Lanta, just a bit more frequent.
But not this year.
Sometime in January, after days in the 80s, you realize...it hasn't rained!
And unless you're a skier, you believe this is good, until you see pictures of dry reservoirs... Seems like America lurches from disaster to disaster, and only those who live where they're happening care. Yup, when it snows in D.C. we don't care about the canceled flights in California, and when we're shaken and stirred by an earthquake, Syracuse shrugs its shoulders.
But unlike the old days, prior to the Internet, back before storms became a story, with a beginning, middle and end, today we're aware they're coming. We change plans. We check the hourly reports. We know how bad traffic is gonna be tied up, yes, SoCal is the epicenter of gridlock, don't ask me to go anywhere during rush hour, even if the Beatles are reuniting and U2 is giving a free show.
So I found myself with the wipers blazing, barely able to see the road, while Jefferson Starship's "Miracles" emanated from the speakers.
When they were finally free of Matthew Katz, this was the apotheosis, so big in '75 if you were alive you remember the sexual reference...
"I had a taste of the real world
When I went down on you girl"
No swear words necessary, all over the airwaves, this was the boomer victory lap, when rock won, before disco came and wiped the slate clean.
But before that, as the sidewalks were darkening, I was listening to some acoustic music on my Sonos system and that's when I heard the line...
"I can't help thinkin' I'm just a day away from where I wanna be"
It shocked me. Because that's who I used to be, how I used to feel.
When I was still young, when I was still optimistic.
And I wondered if I could be so again.
Turns out I'm an observer. I used to be a participant. But in the last few decades my voice has been silenced and I've become amazed at the stories people tell. And that they do. If you ask. If they trust.
And it all comes down to people. Flawed in extremis, even though few admit it.
"I'm sitting down by the highway
Down by that highway side
Everybody's goin' somewhere
Ridin' just as fast as they can ride"
Ain't that the truth. Everybody's selling something, trying to get ahead, and then you realize none of it matters, that you'd better enjoy the ride, because that's all you've got.
"I guess they got a lot to do
Before they can rest assured
Their lives are justified
Pray to God for me babe, he can let me slide"
Justification. Is your resume complete? Did you go to the right college, marry the right person, have perfect children, can you fit into your old clothes?
And then there are those who drop out, get divorced, who have lumpy bodies and no children to call them up.
These are the people who are music fans. When you've got more questions than answers you turn to the bards. Speaking truth. Making sense of it for us.
"Baby if you need me
Like I know I need you
There's just one thing
I'll ask you to do
Take my hand and lead me
To the hole in your garden wall
And pull me through
Pull me through"
I need you more than you need me. I wouldn't do it otherwise. It's a cornucopia of feedback, but it makes me feel connected, like my life is worth living.
And when you tell me your story, when you testify...
My life is complete.
Spotify link: http://spoti.fi/OHkBbf
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On the east coast, rain is a nuisance. On the west, it's a novelty, kind of like snow in Hot Lanta, just a bit more frequent.
But not this year.
Sometime in January, after days in the 80s, you realize...it hasn't rained!
And unless you're a skier, you believe this is good, until you see pictures of dry reservoirs... Seems like America lurches from disaster to disaster, and only those who live where they're happening care. Yup, when it snows in D.C. we don't care about the canceled flights in California, and when we're shaken and stirred by an earthquake, Syracuse shrugs its shoulders.
But unlike the old days, prior to the Internet, back before storms became a story, with a beginning, middle and end, today we're aware they're coming. We change plans. We check the hourly reports. We know how bad traffic is gonna be tied up, yes, SoCal is the epicenter of gridlock, don't ask me to go anywhere during rush hour, even if the Beatles are reuniting and U2 is giving a free show.
So I found myself with the wipers blazing, barely able to see the road, while Jefferson Starship's "Miracles" emanated from the speakers.
When they were finally free of Matthew Katz, this was the apotheosis, so big in '75 if you were alive you remember the sexual reference...
"I had a taste of the real world
When I went down on you girl"
No swear words necessary, all over the airwaves, this was the boomer victory lap, when rock won, before disco came and wiped the slate clean.
But before that, as the sidewalks were darkening, I was listening to some acoustic music on my Sonos system and that's when I heard the line...
"I can't help thinkin' I'm just a day away from where I wanna be"
It shocked me. Because that's who I used to be, how I used to feel.
When I was still young, when I was still optimistic.
And I wondered if I could be so again.
Turns out I'm an observer. I used to be a participant. But in the last few decades my voice has been silenced and I've become amazed at the stories people tell. And that they do. If you ask. If they trust.
And it all comes down to people. Flawed in extremis, even though few admit it.
"I'm sitting down by the highway
Down by that highway side
Everybody's goin' somewhere
Ridin' just as fast as they can ride"
Ain't that the truth. Everybody's selling something, trying to get ahead, and then you realize none of it matters, that you'd better enjoy the ride, because that's all you've got.
"I guess they got a lot to do
Before they can rest assured
Their lives are justified
Pray to God for me babe, he can let me slide"
Justification. Is your resume complete? Did you go to the right college, marry the right person, have perfect children, can you fit into your old clothes?
And then there are those who drop out, get divorced, who have lumpy bodies and no children to call them up.
These are the people who are music fans. When you've got more questions than answers you turn to the bards. Speaking truth. Making sense of it for us.
"Baby if you need me
Like I know I need you
There's just one thing
I'll ask you to do
Take my hand and lead me
To the hole in your garden wall
And pull me through
Pull me through"
I need you more than you need me. I wouldn't do it otherwise. It's a cornucopia of feedback, but it makes me feel connected, like my life is worth living.
And when you tell me your story, when you testify...
My life is complete.
Spotify link: http://spoti.fi/OHkBbf
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Wednesday, 26 February 2014
Truisms
Tumblr is for porn.
Facebook is for the wannabe famous.
Instagram is for those who are too lazy to write.
Texting is social currency. It doesn't matter how many likes or friends or followers you've got, but how many people text you and how regularly, that's how popularity is judged today.
Pinterest is inexplicable to guys.
Samsung is for those who hate Apple and those too cheap to buy an iPhone (not necessarily the same thing, Apple-haters will buy the most expensive Galaxy).
iPhone 4s means you're almost at the end of your contract or you're too cheap to upgrade.
Tesla means you're more interested in status than utility, or you never drive far from home.
iPhone 5c means you think iPhones really cost a hundred bucks, not north of five hundred.
Windows means you got your computer from work or you're too cheap to buy a Mac. Argue all you want, perception is everything, and perception is reality.
Hip-hop is the rock and roll of the Millennials. With a dollop of Gen-X'ers thrown in.
Rock and roll is the music of the baby boomers, who believe everything they're into should last forever, but it doesn't, just like them.
Books get a lot of publicity, but barely sell. Sure, there are exceptions, but very few.
Sales are irrelevant, streams are everything, but newspapers are only trumpeting Spotify plays when all the action's on YouTube.
Albums are for the creators, no one else cares, except for a cadre of extremely vocal fans.
Terrestrial radio is an advertiser-laden medium for poor people. Anybody with an income is listening to satellite or streaming from their mobile device.
Baby boomers buy Japanese automobiles because they remember how bad their parents' Detroit iron was. In other words, despite all the press that GM, Ford and Chrysler are improving, boomers are sticking to Toyota and Honda, at least in California, and trends still start in California, don't ever forget it.
Binge viewing is a badge of honor. Telling everybody you stayed home to watch all the episodes of _______ garners more status than saying you went to the show, and there's more to talk about!
The Millennials want to be famous, just watch Douglas Rushkoff's documentary "Generation Like": http://to.pbs.org/1f5puC7
Newspapers insist on fat profit margins and head for decrepitude while online sites focus on user experience first and profits last. In other words, it's the product, stupid!
Companies are constantly fighting for awareness.
Ignorance reigns. Education comes through word of mouth, which also spreads falsehoods. He who knows the most truth wins. We live in an information society, what's in your brain is paramount.
Without relationships you cannot succeed.
Here today, gone tomorrow, welcome to the twenty first century. You can only combat this by constantly producing. U2 released a single during the Super Bowl, it's already been forgotten, assuming you knew its name to begin with.
No one cares if Shia LaBeouf wears a bag on his head, it's a trumped up media story.
Robin Thicke will screw everything that moves, wake up and realize his career is over and lament the loss of his wife.
Alec Baldwin was right about Harvey Levin, but if you think he's retiring from public life, you believe Kim Kardashian is all natural. That's what Alec does, turn it on in the public eye, without this oxygen he's dead, so he'll be back, just like Scott Shannon, ha! ("Alec Baldwin: Good-bye, Public Life": http://vult.re/1ceuBOj)
Just because you get press for your celebrity cook/lifestyle book, don't think we care, you're just another loser like us. In other words, just because you promote it, that does not mean it will sell.
Bitcoin may not be forever, but digital currency is.
Marc Andreesen is a borderline blowhard who is pontificating on tech better than most, pay attention to what he says.
You know Twitter is in crisis when regular tweeters like Michael Moore don't.
Apple is not going to revolutionize television. Content owners won't let them.
Manhattan is losing steam as an arts center, it's just too expensive to live there. In other words, bankers can prop up institutions, but they cannot drive them forward.
Millennials are not mad that technologists are crowding them out of San Francisco as much as they are that they too are not rich.
Bill Gates cannot save Microsoft. Samsung is a better me-too company. Vision is everything today.
Amazon, Apple, Google, Facebook. They control the world, consolidation has taken hold, it's the next hot topic and you don't know it yet.
People give up when no one's paying attention, whether it be music, MySpace, Facebook, Twitter... Like hula-hoops, they're fads, interesting for a while, then abandoned.
Just because something makes money, that does not mean it does not suck.
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Facebook is for the wannabe famous.
Instagram is for those who are too lazy to write.
Texting is social currency. It doesn't matter how many likes or friends or followers you've got, but how many people text you and how regularly, that's how popularity is judged today.
Pinterest is inexplicable to guys.
Samsung is for those who hate Apple and those too cheap to buy an iPhone (not necessarily the same thing, Apple-haters will buy the most expensive Galaxy).
iPhone 4s means you're almost at the end of your contract or you're too cheap to upgrade.
Tesla means you're more interested in status than utility, or you never drive far from home.
iPhone 5c means you think iPhones really cost a hundred bucks, not north of five hundred.
Windows means you got your computer from work or you're too cheap to buy a Mac. Argue all you want, perception is everything, and perception is reality.
Hip-hop is the rock and roll of the Millennials. With a dollop of Gen-X'ers thrown in.
Rock and roll is the music of the baby boomers, who believe everything they're into should last forever, but it doesn't, just like them.
Books get a lot of publicity, but barely sell. Sure, there are exceptions, but very few.
Sales are irrelevant, streams are everything, but newspapers are only trumpeting Spotify plays when all the action's on YouTube.
Albums are for the creators, no one else cares, except for a cadre of extremely vocal fans.
Terrestrial radio is an advertiser-laden medium for poor people. Anybody with an income is listening to satellite or streaming from their mobile device.
Baby boomers buy Japanese automobiles because they remember how bad their parents' Detroit iron was. In other words, despite all the press that GM, Ford and Chrysler are improving, boomers are sticking to Toyota and Honda, at least in California, and trends still start in California, don't ever forget it.
Binge viewing is a badge of honor. Telling everybody you stayed home to watch all the episodes of _______ garners more status than saying you went to the show, and there's more to talk about!
The Millennials want to be famous, just watch Douglas Rushkoff's documentary "Generation Like": http://to.pbs.org/1f5puC7
Newspapers insist on fat profit margins and head for decrepitude while online sites focus on user experience first and profits last. In other words, it's the product, stupid!
Companies are constantly fighting for awareness.
Ignorance reigns. Education comes through word of mouth, which also spreads falsehoods. He who knows the most truth wins. We live in an information society, what's in your brain is paramount.
Without relationships you cannot succeed.
Here today, gone tomorrow, welcome to the twenty first century. You can only combat this by constantly producing. U2 released a single during the Super Bowl, it's already been forgotten, assuming you knew its name to begin with.
No one cares if Shia LaBeouf wears a bag on his head, it's a trumped up media story.
Robin Thicke will screw everything that moves, wake up and realize his career is over and lament the loss of his wife.
Alec Baldwin was right about Harvey Levin, but if you think he's retiring from public life, you believe Kim Kardashian is all natural. That's what Alec does, turn it on in the public eye, without this oxygen he's dead, so he'll be back, just like Scott Shannon, ha! ("Alec Baldwin: Good-bye, Public Life": http://vult.re/1ceuBOj)
Just because you get press for your celebrity cook/lifestyle book, don't think we care, you're just another loser like us. In other words, just because you promote it, that does not mean it will sell.
Bitcoin may not be forever, but digital currency is.
Marc Andreesen is a borderline blowhard who is pontificating on tech better than most, pay attention to what he says.
You know Twitter is in crisis when regular tweeters like Michael Moore don't.
Apple is not going to revolutionize television. Content owners won't let them.
Manhattan is losing steam as an arts center, it's just too expensive to live there. In other words, bankers can prop up institutions, but they cannot drive them forward.
Millennials are not mad that technologists are crowding them out of San Francisco as much as they are that they too are not rich.
Bill Gates cannot save Microsoft. Samsung is a better me-too company. Vision is everything today.
Amazon, Apple, Google, Facebook. They control the world, consolidation has taken hold, it's the next hot topic and you don't know it yet.
People give up when no one's paying attention, whether it be music, MySpace, Facebook, Twitter... Like hula-hoops, they're fads, interesting for a while, then abandoned.
Just because something makes money, that does not mean it does not suck.
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Tuesday, 25 February 2014
This Is What Happened To Me...
"Nearly kissed by death": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXMV-kn3BtY
(Thank you Kenny Weissberg for the link!)
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(Thank you Kenny Weissberg for the link!)
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Turning The Tide
MUSIC IN SCHOOLS
Forget the rubbish about it boosting your brain, the bottom line is if we want better popular music, more people have to know how to play it.
Speak with famous musicians and you'll be stunned how many started in the school band. They caught the bug and stuck with it.
With the evisceration of school music programs has come the decline of quality pop music. In the sixties, not only were there bands, but mandatory music courses wherein you had to learn how to read music.
Not everybody enjoyed these, but does everybody enjoy math?
You don't need a music degree to enjoy music, but you cotton to those with developed skills.
You wouldn't go to a surgeon who watched a medical TV show and you wouldn't want a lawyer schooled in "Judge Judy." Too many seeking fame and riches have only that...or maybe a good body and a good voice too, and that's just not enough.
Television singing shows are a diversion. Some quality people slip through. But they're the cherry on top at best.
Bottom line, you get to the top by hard work, and the focus on ever younger nitwits is not following this paradigm.
PERSPECTIVE
Just because you play, that does not mean you will be successful, that does not mean you're entitled to a job in music.
With access has come delusion. In other words, if I can put it on iTunes you should buy it.
But if you get a trophy in kiddie soccer do you think you're one step away from Manchester City?
You should play music for the joy of it, for the couple of bucks, not because it's a road to fame and riches. Sure, some people will make it, but most won't.
You realize who's good in math at school, biology, English...if you're not at the top, you find another path, why does everybody think they're at the top in music?
A PLACE TO PLAY
There's nowhere to start out.
Family functions have deejays and the club business died with the record business, when there was no one to support it.
To a degree, this is responsible for electronic music, and that's fine, but just because you know how to turn on the turntable, that does not make you a deejay.
But with nowhere to play, no one can get any good. Your skills might be developed, but your live chops are not extant. I love Lorde's music, but live she's a bore, because she just hasn't developed yet.
Think of all the great live bands, from the jazzers to J. Geils to... They honed their skills off the radar, got good over time.
We've got to get people to hire live bands for family functions. The energy of live can never be replaced by a deejay. But this requires good bands willing to play the desired music at a fair price.
If you're not willing to play the hits, you're not willing to get good.
RECORDING
We need skilled producers and engineers to record all these wannabe bands. Right now, compensation is challenged so many musicians do it themselves.
It's true a hit can be heard through mud, but a clear, crisp recording helps people to get hooked.
We've got all the equipment, learn how to use it.
NO WINE BEFORE ITS TIME
This hooks into perspective above. Just because you made it, that does not mean we should be interested. Used to be making a physical disc was expensive, now making an MP3 is cheap so people bombard us with their substandard productions.
If you want to make it, wait until you're ready.
If someone isn't clamoring for the file, so they can spread it to others, then it's not good enough.
STREET TEAMS/VIRALITY
Somehow, marketing has trumped the organic spread of music.
Yes, you want people to spread it, but only if they want to!
You want a mailing list so you can reach your fans, not so you can turn them into an army dunning those who do not care.
Soft sell at best.
We live in a pull economy. If people aren't pulling your music, it's not gonna blow up.
We live in an era of marketing, not music. And we're all suffering as a result.
GATEKEEPERS
There's a fiction that having everything available means people are interested in it, the so-called "Long Tail."
But the truth is in a Tower of Babel society, we gravitate to that which is universal.
We don't want endless playlists. We want a few certified hits.
Just like you won't tolerate your OS crashing, just like you don't want a Windows phone because it has no apps, the line between success and failure is clear, and only a few products pass through. The new BlackBerries are better than the old, but we don't need 'em if we've got iPhones and Androids. Every day I get e-mail from BlackBerry defenders... Don't you get it, you lost!
It's even worse in music. At least mobile phones cost hundreds of dollars. Music can be distributed for free so we've got delusional people foisting it upon us causing us all to tune out.
There is no center anymore, and we've got to create one.
The reason labels cater to Top Forty is at least there's a market there, in hip-hop too, country also. Other than that, it's a great wilderness with classic acts and concertgoers but the inability to break a record.
Sure, the music may not be good enough, but the landscape is incomprehensible to the fans.
We don't need tons of playlists on Songza, we just need five, maybe ten, tracks that EVERYBODY IN AMERICA listens to!
That's why Top Forty is successful.
But radio isn't about music, but advertising.
So we've got to wrest dissemination and consolidation of new music FROM radio.
There needs to be one site where everybody goes that features few tracks and readily rotates them. Nothing will boost music more.
But the techies don't want anything that doesn't scale financially.
And the wannabes don't want to be left out.
So instead we're living in a vast, incomprehensible wasteland.
THE KIND OF MUSIC
It does not matter. It's just got to titillate the eardrums.
We've become too genre-specific.
Once a few outsiders break through with edgy material, more will be inspired to do so.
As for rewards... If playing music for a living and having people listen to it is not enough, stop now. If you're focusing on money, you're focusing on the wrong thing. You need the ability to eat and have shelter, that's about it. But the truth is scale on the Internet is so much larger than everything that existed previously that those who break through will become very wealthy and powerful. But we've got to make sure we don't purvey crap, we don't sell good to the masses. They only want incredible, that's why they're all watching TV.
BUSINESSMEN
You want someone to sort the money, to make the deals.
But we need an entrepreneurial spirit in business too.
Wipe out music business schools, they're a rip-off teaching what does not need to be known. You're learning how to work at a record company that neither wants nor needs you, unless you're willing to work for free as an intern.
We've got to attract the renegades, the limit-testers, those willing to turn the tables upside down who are now going into tech.
Did you know Travis Kalanick, the majordomo of Uber, which you love, started with a P2P music site, Scour?
Don't pooh-pooh P2P, everything good in music has happened as a result.
Daniel Ek stayed in, but you want him out, not realizing that the ability to have everything at one's fingertips includes YOUR music, and that there's a ton of money in streaming, just read this:
"An Independent Artist's Take on Spotify": http://huff.to/1mwx50M
Until we can attract the best and the brightest to music, we're doomed.
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Forget the rubbish about it boosting your brain, the bottom line is if we want better popular music, more people have to know how to play it.
Speak with famous musicians and you'll be stunned how many started in the school band. They caught the bug and stuck with it.
With the evisceration of school music programs has come the decline of quality pop music. In the sixties, not only were there bands, but mandatory music courses wherein you had to learn how to read music.
Not everybody enjoyed these, but does everybody enjoy math?
You don't need a music degree to enjoy music, but you cotton to those with developed skills.
You wouldn't go to a surgeon who watched a medical TV show and you wouldn't want a lawyer schooled in "Judge Judy." Too many seeking fame and riches have only that...or maybe a good body and a good voice too, and that's just not enough.
Television singing shows are a diversion. Some quality people slip through. But they're the cherry on top at best.
Bottom line, you get to the top by hard work, and the focus on ever younger nitwits is not following this paradigm.
PERSPECTIVE
Just because you play, that does not mean you will be successful, that does not mean you're entitled to a job in music.
With access has come delusion. In other words, if I can put it on iTunes you should buy it.
But if you get a trophy in kiddie soccer do you think you're one step away from Manchester City?
You should play music for the joy of it, for the couple of bucks, not because it's a road to fame and riches. Sure, some people will make it, but most won't.
You realize who's good in math at school, biology, English...if you're not at the top, you find another path, why does everybody think they're at the top in music?
A PLACE TO PLAY
There's nowhere to start out.
Family functions have deejays and the club business died with the record business, when there was no one to support it.
To a degree, this is responsible for electronic music, and that's fine, but just because you know how to turn on the turntable, that does not make you a deejay.
But with nowhere to play, no one can get any good. Your skills might be developed, but your live chops are not extant. I love Lorde's music, but live she's a bore, because she just hasn't developed yet.
Think of all the great live bands, from the jazzers to J. Geils to... They honed their skills off the radar, got good over time.
We've got to get people to hire live bands for family functions. The energy of live can never be replaced by a deejay. But this requires good bands willing to play the desired music at a fair price.
If you're not willing to play the hits, you're not willing to get good.
RECORDING
We need skilled producers and engineers to record all these wannabe bands. Right now, compensation is challenged so many musicians do it themselves.
It's true a hit can be heard through mud, but a clear, crisp recording helps people to get hooked.
We've got all the equipment, learn how to use it.
NO WINE BEFORE ITS TIME
This hooks into perspective above. Just because you made it, that does not mean we should be interested. Used to be making a physical disc was expensive, now making an MP3 is cheap so people bombard us with their substandard productions.
If you want to make it, wait until you're ready.
If someone isn't clamoring for the file, so they can spread it to others, then it's not good enough.
STREET TEAMS/VIRALITY
Somehow, marketing has trumped the organic spread of music.
Yes, you want people to spread it, but only if they want to!
You want a mailing list so you can reach your fans, not so you can turn them into an army dunning those who do not care.
Soft sell at best.
We live in a pull economy. If people aren't pulling your music, it's not gonna blow up.
We live in an era of marketing, not music. And we're all suffering as a result.
GATEKEEPERS
There's a fiction that having everything available means people are interested in it, the so-called "Long Tail."
But the truth is in a Tower of Babel society, we gravitate to that which is universal.
We don't want endless playlists. We want a few certified hits.
Just like you won't tolerate your OS crashing, just like you don't want a Windows phone because it has no apps, the line between success and failure is clear, and only a few products pass through. The new BlackBerries are better than the old, but we don't need 'em if we've got iPhones and Androids. Every day I get e-mail from BlackBerry defenders... Don't you get it, you lost!
It's even worse in music. At least mobile phones cost hundreds of dollars. Music can be distributed for free so we've got delusional people foisting it upon us causing us all to tune out.
There is no center anymore, and we've got to create one.
The reason labels cater to Top Forty is at least there's a market there, in hip-hop too, country also. Other than that, it's a great wilderness with classic acts and concertgoers but the inability to break a record.
Sure, the music may not be good enough, but the landscape is incomprehensible to the fans.
We don't need tons of playlists on Songza, we just need five, maybe ten, tracks that EVERYBODY IN AMERICA listens to!
That's why Top Forty is successful.
But radio isn't about music, but advertising.
So we've got to wrest dissemination and consolidation of new music FROM radio.
There needs to be one site where everybody goes that features few tracks and readily rotates them. Nothing will boost music more.
But the techies don't want anything that doesn't scale financially.
And the wannabes don't want to be left out.
So instead we're living in a vast, incomprehensible wasteland.
THE KIND OF MUSIC
It does not matter. It's just got to titillate the eardrums.
We've become too genre-specific.
Once a few outsiders break through with edgy material, more will be inspired to do so.
As for rewards... If playing music for a living and having people listen to it is not enough, stop now. If you're focusing on money, you're focusing on the wrong thing. You need the ability to eat and have shelter, that's about it. But the truth is scale on the Internet is so much larger than everything that existed previously that those who break through will become very wealthy and powerful. But we've got to make sure we don't purvey crap, we don't sell good to the masses. They only want incredible, that's why they're all watching TV.
BUSINESSMEN
You want someone to sort the money, to make the deals.
But we need an entrepreneurial spirit in business too.
Wipe out music business schools, they're a rip-off teaching what does not need to be known. You're learning how to work at a record company that neither wants nor needs you, unless you're willing to work for free as an intern.
We've got to attract the renegades, the limit-testers, those willing to turn the tables upside down who are now going into tech.
Did you know Travis Kalanick, the majordomo of Uber, which you love, started with a P2P music site, Scour?
Don't pooh-pooh P2P, everything good in music has happened as a result.
Daniel Ek stayed in, but you want him out, not realizing that the ability to have everything at one's fingertips includes YOUR music, and that there's a ton of money in streaming, just read this:
"An Independent Artist's Take on Spotify": http://huff.to/1mwx50M
Until we can attract the best and the brightest to music, we're doomed.
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Monday, 24 February 2014
Harold Ramis
He cowrote and starred in my favorite stupid movie of all time, "Stripes."
No "Private Benjamin," the stars of "Stripes" were never co-opted, always maintained their humor and outsider perspective, and won in the end.
In other words, the nerds inherited the earth.
That's what comedians once were. Before they all got sitcoms and made millions. They were outcasts, class clowns, with mediocre grades and a small group of friends, and they never got the girl. Which is why it's so great that Bill Murray and Harold Ramis hang out with the hottest in "Stripes."
But the reason I like "Stripes" so much is this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbVaisNPgh4
And just in case YouTube is blocked in your territory, here's the relevant portion:
"Anita: You sleep until noon and then you watch 'Rocky and Bullwinkle' and then you drive your cab what a couple hours a day and then you come home and order out food and then you play those stupid Tito Puente albums until two in the morning.
Winger: Tito Puente is going to be dead and you're going to say 'I've been listening to him for years and I think he's fabulous!'"
It's hard to remember an era when you went back and listened to the catalog, when people boasted they were into an act before they were big.
Just like it's hard to remember an era when movie comedies were smart and had nothing to do with comic books, and made the little girls smile and the young boys roll in the aisle with laughter.
It all started with "Animal House." A gross-out comedy that bent the history of the medium ninety degrees, from which it never recovered.
This was the exponent of "Saturday Night Live."
Which emanated from Second City and the "National Lampoon" and featured heroes not only known, but unknown, from John Belushi to Doug Kenney.
Yes, once upon a time being smart and irreverent was a job. Your goal wasn't to be like everybody else, but to have those who got it come to you.
And at the nexus of all this was Harold Ramis.
Yes, Harold did time at "Second City."
He wrote "Animal House" with the aforementioned Doug Kenney and Chris Miller.
But that's not all, he cowrote "Caddyshack" and "Ghostbusters" and "Back To School" and "Groundhog Day"...seemingly all the movies you quote on a regular basis.
Furthermore, he directed "Caddyshack" and "Groundhog Day"!
You might know him as one of the Ghostbusters, but those jokes aren't improvised, Ramis sat with his buddies and they cracked each other up and then they proceeded to crack us up.
So right now we're subjected to endless reams of press about Seth Meyers and Jimmy Fallon, neither of whom is doing anything new. The last time there was innovation in late night was with David Letterman, thirty years ago, when he turned an interview format into a comedic one, featuring ever more bizarre stunts, and started a cult that propels him to this day.
And once upon a time, "Saturday Night Live" was dangerous. The cast were ringleaders, testing limits, embracing their hipness and their otherness, SNL cemented the vision of the sixties, the youth finally took over.
And now baby boomers are in control and are so self-congratulatory it makes me puke.
And the generations after them are so broke and so desperate they're focused on money to the exclusion of art.
Who knew SNL was a stepping stone?
Who knew "Animal House" would be a groundbreaking paradigm shifter?
But that was the seventies, before the greedy eighties, when what was in your mind, how you lived your life, was important as opposed to how much money you made.
So, so long Harold Ramis. You're a footnote in history but paramount in baby boomer brains. Your work will continue to live on, because everybody knows institutions are to poke fun at, and you were one of the best.
So long the modern movie business, wherein comedies can't be made because they don't play worldwide, if it's not funny in Uzbekistan, the studio doesn't want to make it. And if it's all about getting a sponsor for an online production...sponsors don't like edgy, never did.
And so long the music business. Wherein we used to have to listen and now we don't. Your life can go on just fine being ignorant of not only Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus, but Kanye and Jay Z too.
Everybody had to see "Animal House."
Nobody has to hear today's music.
Sure, they burned out the Lampoon formula.
Sure, "Bridesmaids" was a good movie.
Sure, Chris Rock is almost as edgy and insightful as Richard Pryor.
But so far, no one's broken the mold. All we've seen is variations on the theme. It's like we're in an endless "Groundhog Day," repeating ourselves ad infinitum until someone, hopefully you, stands apart and makes fun of the endless iterations of the same theme.
Like Harold Ramis.
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No "Private Benjamin," the stars of "Stripes" were never co-opted, always maintained their humor and outsider perspective, and won in the end.
In other words, the nerds inherited the earth.
That's what comedians once were. Before they all got sitcoms and made millions. They were outcasts, class clowns, with mediocre grades and a small group of friends, and they never got the girl. Which is why it's so great that Bill Murray and Harold Ramis hang out with the hottest in "Stripes."
But the reason I like "Stripes" so much is this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbVaisNPgh4
And just in case YouTube is blocked in your territory, here's the relevant portion:
"Anita: You sleep until noon and then you watch 'Rocky and Bullwinkle' and then you drive your cab what a couple hours a day and then you come home and order out food and then you play those stupid Tito Puente albums until two in the morning.
Winger: Tito Puente is going to be dead and you're going to say 'I've been listening to him for years and I think he's fabulous!'"
It's hard to remember an era when you went back and listened to the catalog, when people boasted they were into an act before they were big.
Just like it's hard to remember an era when movie comedies were smart and had nothing to do with comic books, and made the little girls smile and the young boys roll in the aisle with laughter.
It all started with "Animal House." A gross-out comedy that bent the history of the medium ninety degrees, from which it never recovered.
This was the exponent of "Saturday Night Live."
Which emanated from Second City and the "National Lampoon" and featured heroes not only known, but unknown, from John Belushi to Doug Kenney.
Yes, once upon a time being smart and irreverent was a job. Your goal wasn't to be like everybody else, but to have those who got it come to you.
And at the nexus of all this was Harold Ramis.
Yes, Harold did time at "Second City."
He wrote "Animal House" with the aforementioned Doug Kenney and Chris Miller.
But that's not all, he cowrote "Caddyshack" and "Ghostbusters" and "Back To School" and "Groundhog Day"...seemingly all the movies you quote on a regular basis.
Furthermore, he directed "Caddyshack" and "Groundhog Day"!
You might know him as one of the Ghostbusters, but those jokes aren't improvised, Ramis sat with his buddies and they cracked each other up and then they proceeded to crack us up.
So right now we're subjected to endless reams of press about Seth Meyers and Jimmy Fallon, neither of whom is doing anything new. The last time there was innovation in late night was with David Letterman, thirty years ago, when he turned an interview format into a comedic one, featuring ever more bizarre stunts, and started a cult that propels him to this day.
And once upon a time, "Saturday Night Live" was dangerous. The cast were ringleaders, testing limits, embracing their hipness and their otherness, SNL cemented the vision of the sixties, the youth finally took over.
And now baby boomers are in control and are so self-congratulatory it makes me puke.
And the generations after them are so broke and so desperate they're focused on money to the exclusion of art.
Who knew SNL was a stepping stone?
Who knew "Animal House" would be a groundbreaking paradigm shifter?
But that was the seventies, before the greedy eighties, when what was in your mind, how you lived your life, was important as opposed to how much money you made.
So, so long Harold Ramis. You're a footnote in history but paramount in baby boomer brains. Your work will continue to live on, because everybody knows institutions are to poke fun at, and you were one of the best.
So long the modern movie business, wherein comedies can't be made because they don't play worldwide, if it's not funny in Uzbekistan, the studio doesn't want to make it. And if it's all about getting a sponsor for an online production...sponsors don't like edgy, never did.
And so long the music business. Wherein we used to have to listen and now we don't. Your life can go on just fine being ignorant of not only Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus, but Kanye and Jay Z too.
Everybody had to see "Animal House."
Nobody has to hear today's music.
Sure, they burned out the Lampoon formula.
Sure, "Bridesmaids" was a good movie.
Sure, Chris Rock is almost as edgy and insightful as Richard Pryor.
But so far, no one's broken the mold. All we've seen is variations on the theme. It's like we're in an endless "Groundhog Day," repeating ourselves ad infinitum until someone, hopefully you, stands apart and makes fun of the endless iterations of the same theme.
Like Harold Ramis.
--
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Sunday, 23 February 2014
The End Of Privacy?
On one hand, technology enables us.
On the other, it disables us.
Sure, we're coughing up information on Facebook, trying to make it evaporate after communicating on Snapchat, but the truth is there are cameras and tracking devices everywhere, what does this mean for the human condition?
Is it a renaissance for thought? To quote Bob Dylan... "If my thought dreams could be seen, they'd probably put my head in a guillotine"...
Or, are we all going to become gun-shy, fearful not only of doing something illegal, but distasteful, something that will be trumpeted eons from now on our permanent record.
Oh, kids are aware of that now. They judiciously decide what to post online. It's only their tech-ignorant elders who don't know what you post can come back to haunt you.
But there's going to be pictures of you smoking dope, consorting with the enemy...
In other words, was Edward Snowden just a wake up call, too late, that not only is our government out of control, but so are we?
You may not be keeping your texts, but your mobile provider is.
Used to be you were truly alone in the wilderness. Now you can call rescue from the top of Mt. Everest.
Do we see the end of duplicity?
Or a locked down environment where everybody is fearful of their past, worried they're going to be shunted off the track?
If you raise your head, there's 24/7 documentation. I'm sure Justin Bieber didn't think egging a house would be caught on film.
Oh, that's right, there's no film anymore. Just digits. 1's and 0's, captured on storage media that becomes ever larger and ever cheaper.
My father was a fan of petty theft. He saw it as sport.
But he was also afraid of the law.
Sounds like a conundrum.
Not in the sixties, but definitely today.
Everybody knows there's a camera in the retail store. No one ever really feels free.
Or do they?
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On the other, it disables us.
Sure, we're coughing up information on Facebook, trying to make it evaporate after communicating on Snapchat, but the truth is there are cameras and tracking devices everywhere, what does this mean for the human condition?
Is it a renaissance for thought? To quote Bob Dylan... "If my thought dreams could be seen, they'd probably put my head in a guillotine"...
Or, are we all going to become gun-shy, fearful not only of doing something illegal, but distasteful, something that will be trumpeted eons from now on our permanent record.
Oh, kids are aware of that now. They judiciously decide what to post online. It's only their tech-ignorant elders who don't know what you post can come back to haunt you.
But there's going to be pictures of you smoking dope, consorting with the enemy...
In other words, was Edward Snowden just a wake up call, too late, that not only is our government out of control, but so are we?
You may not be keeping your texts, but your mobile provider is.
Used to be you were truly alone in the wilderness. Now you can call rescue from the top of Mt. Everest.
Do we see the end of duplicity?
Or a locked down environment where everybody is fearful of their past, worried they're going to be shunted off the track?
If you raise your head, there's 24/7 documentation. I'm sure Justin Bieber didn't think egging a house would be caught on film.
Oh, that's right, there's no film anymore. Just digits. 1's and 0's, captured on storage media that becomes ever larger and ever cheaper.
My father was a fan of petty theft. He saw it as sport.
But he was also afraid of the law.
Sounds like a conundrum.
Not in the sixties, but definitely today.
Everybody knows there's a camera in the retail store. No one ever really feels free.
Or do they?
--
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