You mean I need a bigger engine and a swoopy style to get laid? I just go on Tinder!
Welcome to the baby boomer nightmare, wherein everything they've held near and dear becomes irrelevant. Like automobiles.
Cars are a utility.
It's not the seventies anymore, no one ever bows out of an affair citing car trouble. I've got a AAA membership, but I only use it to get tires changed in seedy areas, the concept of a tow because my carburetor is clogged is about as foreign as the blue screen of death. (And new cars come with run-flat tires!)
Yes, remember how you used to need to know how computers worked to use one? Same deal with cars. Everybody had a modicum of expertise, having experienced flaws and shoddy maintenance. But today you just turn 'em on and they go, you don't have to even take your key out of your pocket. Sure, you might smash your automobile up, but Google's developing an app for that, otherwise known as the driverless car.
Joy in driving? Taking a few weeks or months to drive cross- country? Why would anybody want to do THAT!
Yup, the road trip is as dead as the western. You could recast "Bonanza" and no one under forty would watch.
As for the freedom the automobile once represented...
You don't have to leave your house to connect with your friends, you don't have go to the mall, as for doing illicit things...sexting is more outre and volatile than anything baby boomers could ever cook up.
To the younger generation cars are transportation, nothing more. They take you from a to b. But appealing to the older generation, manufacturers don't develop products that fit this appeal, they keep touting all the stuff that worked in decades past. Appearance, specs. They don't even understand their own product!
Ever notice that every smartphone looks the same? Yup, a rectangular brick. And it's about customization via software? Credit the car companies with putting apps in the dash, but if they want to win they're going to have to move as fast as the tech companies, one of which is eating their lunch.
Imagine if Tesla had a 20k car. Yup, a utility you just plugged in, that didn't harm the environment, something simple, futuristic... Then GM and Toyota would to be very afraid. Because kids embrace the new and care about the environment. All that brand equity in GM? A youngster cares not a whit about that.
Nor does he or she care about a Ferrari. If you buy one of these sleek automobiles, I hope you enjoy driving it, because your image is gonna take a hit. All the young girls you want to impress will be laughing at you, you wasted all your money on WHAT?
So long Ferrari. So long Aston Martin. So long the SUV.
Do you think kids want to own a big box with terrible mileage just like their parents drive?
Just because cars have lasted a century, that does not mean they're here to stay, that does not mean they're not ripe for disruption. Cars are the newspapers of today. Something oldsters can't live without and youngsters can.
The basic premise is you've got to go. How you get there is irrelevant. Furthermore, the costs of car ownership...the insurance and the gas, never mind the maintenance, none of them appeal to a youngster who believes all costs should be baked in.
Hidden fees are anathema to the younger generation. They'll pay, but you've got to be honest.
In other words, we live in a world built by baby boomers that does not square at all with the needs of their progeny.
You don't hear kids clutching to their CDs, never mind MP3s. They don't complain about sound quality. They don't bitch about the way it used to be.
Unless you're willing to question all your preconceptions, you're going to be left behind.
It's the sixties once again, with a giant generation gap that the self-satisfied oldsters just can't understand.
But they're envious of.
Come on, a world where everybody's interconnected, where few are lonely because even geeks and nerds can connect, and everything's at your fingertips?
Fifty years from now smartphones will look quaint. Bandwidth speeds will be laughed at like floppy disks. The revolution we embrace will be in the rearview mirror.
Just like that machine you're overpaying every month for to impress people who no longer care.
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Saturday, 5 July 2014
Friday, 4 July 2014
Computer Problem
I'll buy a new Mac, if only they can tell me what's wrong with the one I have!
Greetings from Computer Hell, a village where I've resided for the past two days when my Mac Pro decided it would allow the cursor to move, but not the screen. Huh? I mean the music is playing, but you just can't click on anything and when you do a restart, it won't.
That's when I got scared. It's a modern operating system, built upon Unix, supposedly inviolate, not only is this not supposed to happen, it doesn't. But it did!
And I performed a few tweaks and when the problem evidenced itself again I decided to build a whole new drive, from scratch. Know how long that takes? Either you do or you don't, either you know what's going on under the hood or you don't, and now you don't have to. Because computers are like cars, they just work.
But mine didn't.
Not that this is my first Mac to crap out on July 4th. But I was stunned that the Genius Bar was open, and I made an appointment, and worried about schlepping the behemoth of a computer down the Third Street Promenade I checked Waze and found you couldn't get near Santa Monica, so I switched to Century City. Yup, want to get your computer fixed, 7/4's the day, the schedule was WIDE OPEN!
Well, not exactly, but there were options.
Still, I left early.
But it was like the '84 Olympics, there was no traffic. I was the only car on the road, it was like the 1940s.
And an employee helped me get the 'puter from the car to the store.
And the Genius who helped me...
The Genius Bar gets a bad rap. Hell, all of Apple now gets a bad rap. Supposedly they aren't, geniuses that is. But my guy was. Hunter had graduated from Berkeley, had gotten into medical school, but he deferred that when his mother got sick and ultimately died.
So what's wrong with my Mac?
They assume you know nothing until they do, then you can speak console and crash and still, it wasn't clear what was up. Was it software or hardware? He thought software, and I'd run the hardware test. But if it's the OS... You mean I've got to spend days reinstalling and reconfiguring just to diagnose?
I certainly hope not.
But I'm not dropping thousands on a new computer just to find I have the same problem, that it's somewhere deep in my data. And today data is everything.
That's our number one possession, not a car or a house, but our data, our 1's and 0's, sitting on our devices, interconnected, and we don't want to lose it.
And I was thinking of buying a new computer, because this one can't be upgraded to Yosemite, and it'd be cool to have all my machines talk. But I couldn't pull the trigger, and then this.
Ain't that how life works. You've got it all planned out, and then the unforeseen occurs, totally altering your course.
You're thinking about how to spend your money, and then you get fired.
You're thinking about breaking up, and then the other person becomes ill. Or you're working up the courage to ask someone on a date, and the next time you see them they're flashing a ring.
So do you aggressively eat up life or let it come to you? Do you try to alter the course of the river or realize that's impossible, and just go with the flow?
So Hunter's gonna keep my machine for a couple of days, run all kinds of tests, and I hope he comes up with something definitive. And the great thing about computers is it's always something, it's just a matter of finding it. But that can take days, a week, of frustrating experience.
And mostly we're on our own. That's the twenty first century mantra. There's no help. Especially if you don't pay. But even if you do, there's no manual, no one to call, products are exceptional, but everybody's a mechanic, intermittently. We're all experts on something, just different things.
So I thank god for the Genius Bar. At least it's their problem for a couple of days.
But soon, it could be mine.
Note: If it's the data, buying a new machine will not only be superfluous, it might exhibit the same problem. And I could delineate the difference between Time Machine migration and hand migration but your head will spin. But the point is, I want answers. And right now, I don't have any. I'm alone at the prom.
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Greetings from Computer Hell, a village where I've resided for the past two days when my Mac Pro decided it would allow the cursor to move, but not the screen. Huh? I mean the music is playing, but you just can't click on anything and when you do a restart, it won't.
That's when I got scared. It's a modern operating system, built upon Unix, supposedly inviolate, not only is this not supposed to happen, it doesn't. But it did!
And I performed a few tweaks and when the problem evidenced itself again I decided to build a whole new drive, from scratch. Know how long that takes? Either you do or you don't, either you know what's going on under the hood or you don't, and now you don't have to. Because computers are like cars, they just work.
But mine didn't.
Not that this is my first Mac to crap out on July 4th. But I was stunned that the Genius Bar was open, and I made an appointment, and worried about schlepping the behemoth of a computer down the Third Street Promenade I checked Waze and found you couldn't get near Santa Monica, so I switched to Century City. Yup, want to get your computer fixed, 7/4's the day, the schedule was WIDE OPEN!
Well, not exactly, but there were options.
Still, I left early.
But it was like the '84 Olympics, there was no traffic. I was the only car on the road, it was like the 1940s.
And an employee helped me get the 'puter from the car to the store.
And the Genius who helped me...
The Genius Bar gets a bad rap. Hell, all of Apple now gets a bad rap. Supposedly they aren't, geniuses that is. But my guy was. Hunter had graduated from Berkeley, had gotten into medical school, but he deferred that when his mother got sick and ultimately died.
So what's wrong with my Mac?
They assume you know nothing until they do, then you can speak console and crash and still, it wasn't clear what was up. Was it software or hardware? He thought software, and I'd run the hardware test. But if it's the OS... You mean I've got to spend days reinstalling and reconfiguring just to diagnose?
I certainly hope not.
But I'm not dropping thousands on a new computer just to find I have the same problem, that it's somewhere deep in my data. And today data is everything.
That's our number one possession, not a car or a house, but our data, our 1's and 0's, sitting on our devices, interconnected, and we don't want to lose it.
And I was thinking of buying a new computer, because this one can't be upgraded to Yosemite, and it'd be cool to have all my machines talk. But I couldn't pull the trigger, and then this.
Ain't that how life works. You've got it all planned out, and then the unforeseen occurs, totally altering your course.
You're thinking about how to spend your money, and then you get fired.
You're thinking about breaking up, and then the other person becomes ill. Or you're working up the courage to ask someone on a date, and the next time you see them they're flashing a ring.
So do you aggressively eat up life or let it come to you? Do you try to alter the course of the river or realize that's impossible, and just go with the flow?
So Hunter's gonna keep my machine for a couple of days, run all kinds of tests, and I hope he comes up with something definitive. And the great thing about computers is it's always something, it's just a matter of finding it. But that can take days, a week, of frustrating experience.
And mostly we're on our own. That's the twenty first century mantra. There's no help. Especially if you don't pay. But even if you do, there's no manual, no one to call, products are exceptional, but everybody's a mechanic, intermittently. We're all experts on something, just different things.
So I thank god for the Genius Bar. At least it's their problem for a couple of days.
But soon, it could be mine.
Note: If it's the data, buying a new machine will not only be superfluous, it might exhibit the same problem. And I could delineate the difference between Time Machine migration and hand migration but your head will spin. But the point is, I want answers. And right now, I don't have any. I'm alone at the prom.
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Thursday, 3 July 2014
Spotify Rules
1. You will delete your MP3s.
Just like you tossed your 8-tracks and cassettes, you'll get rid of your MP3s, all your iTunes purchases, kaput, evaporate, just like that. It will happen when you get a new computer, which isn't as frequent as before, but the truth is we're moving to flash storage and it's more expensive and you get less and you haven't got room for your music files, never mind the inclination to listen to them.
Just like you wanted the biggest iPod but are satisfied with the smallest iPhone, you won't find it necessary to pay extra for more flash storage even when the price comes down, whether it be in computers or mobile handsets. Because everything will be stored in the cloud or delivered to you when requested.
Hoarding MP3s is like hoarding hieroglyphics, who wants an ancient format no one can read? Especially when it's just bits and bytes!
Eighteen years, that's how long a format lasts.
LPs... 1964, the advent of the Beatles, to 1982, the advent of the CD.
The CD... 1982 to 2000, when usurped by the MP3.
MP3s? By 2018 they're HISTORY!
2. Plays will be the metric.
Just like radio shifted to spins, how much someone listens to your music will be the only thing that's important, furthermore, listens get you paid.
This will be a revolution, a good one, the SoundScan era is history, sales charts make no sense. Companies ramp up the publicity for an initial sales week that media publicizes, all to do it again the next week for new records. This reduces the chances of something sticking. Whereas when plays becomes the metric, we'll instantly see what has stuck. Just because it was released last week or six or nine months ago, it won't matter, because we'll see people are actually playing it. And that which is heavily-hyped but left unplayed...beware.
3. Media will promote spins.
Yahoo already lists the top ten Spotify tracks every week. In the future, a media outlet will still talk about number one, but not how many albums or digital singles were sold, but how many plays it got. It'll be like YouTube, on Spotify there's a counter too, you can see how you stack up. Suddenly data is not hidden, it's there for all to see. And the truth will be that the blockbuster era will continue. We'll see huge winners and a sea of also-rans. We'll be on the outlook for that which is making huge gains. It will all be based on data, as opposed to today's smoke and mirrors.
4. Payouts will be high.
It's all about scale. Once we wean everyone from MP3s, once everybody pays for music, whether it be monthly or baked into the subscription, a huge pot of money will be generated, 69% of which will go to rights holders. So, if you've got an ancient, poor-paying label deal, the company will get most of it. If you're striking a new major label deal...think about what you're giving up, recorded music revenue, in exchange for the company's ability to spend and muscle and make you a star. You can stay independent and keep all the money, but your chance of rising above is diminished, especially in this world of overwhelming input.
5. It'll be mobile.
Spotify develops for mobile first. Not only will you have a smartphone, chances are it will be large, because it will be your primary screen, where you shop and dial-up your music, you want to be able to see and make sense. Think of your handset as the new iPad, just a little bit smaller.
6. Discovery will be in the Spotify app.
It's all about the real estate, you don't want to jump around. You'll roam around Spotify the same way you roamed around the record store, but inventory will be much greater and access will be instant. If your company is a recommendation engine not aligned with a streaming service, good luck!
7. Pandora survives.
Or is bought and merged. But if it survives, its impact will be marginalized over time, because we live in an on demand world, the future is on demand, not wait and see. Pandora is too valuable to be purchased by Spotify. And it's hobbled not only by royalty payments, but the fact it's not worldwide. In other words, you might love Pandora the way you loved your BlackBerry, as in temporarily.
8. iHeart Radio stalls.
It's not on demand. As for listening to your terrestrial station on the Internet... Pandora eclipses that, there are fewer commercials. Clear Channel's digital play is not revolutionary enough, it was billed as a Pandora killer when Pandora was not the correct target.
9. Passive listening.
That's what radio is. Spotify's got a component. There's a market for that. But not run by algorithms, but people. Which is why SiriusXM is so successful, all those people paying to get rid of commercials on their music stations (as well as Howard Stern.) In other words, Clear Channel is in a bind. Promoting a legacy system without legs. If you don't think terrestrial radio will be diminished, you're still listening to AM.
10. You will share Spotify playlists.
We live in a sharing economy. You'll send songs. This is a good thing, this is how we break bands. And inboxes won't be cluttered-up with MP3s, waiting for them to download, eating up space, getting lost in spam folders, however expect to be spammed by wannabes, just like they have done forever in the Internet era.
11. Sound quality will improve.
It's all about bandwidth. And LTE is faster than many people's home connection. And mobile providers are already pondering an even faster generation. The faster the bandwidth, the fatter the pipe, the higher the quality. Remember, there was no YouTube before broadband.
12. Data charges are irrelevant.
Not only did T-Mobile just obviate them for music services, Spotify synchs all playlists so no signal is needed, the "streams" live on your handset, just like files. So even if you've got no cell signal, you've got your music.
13. It's not about Spotify.
It's about streaming. Google's new service could be the winner, but let's hope not, because it pays less. Or maybe a reinvigorated Apple Beats. One thing is for sure, one service will dominate, it's where we'll all go, because we want to share, we don't want to be left out. So you might like Rdio or Deezer, but if you send a link and someone can't play it, that's not gonna work.
14. Exit strategy.
Just like Apple bought Beats, Facebook or Google or Amazon or even Microsoft might by Spotify. Don't forget, Google bought Motorola and Microsoft bought Nokia. If you can't compete, you buy.
15. Bottom line.
Don't get depressed, it's all about the music. Make a good tune and these services are your bitch. They allow you to reach the whole world instantly. And if you haven't, maybe you weren't meant to. Maybe you're not that talented, maybe you make niche music. But as people see what succeeds, it will spark their creativity. They'll see the high standard, they'll see what's left field that breaks through. The only problem we have today is everyone's got a voice, and those who don't win complain, whereas we didn't used to hear from them. Ignore them. Focus on the winners. Spread the word about them. And know that if your identity is based on liking something no one else does, chances are you're going to live a very lonely life.
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Just like you tossed your 8-tracks and cassettes, you'll get rid of your MP3s, all your iTunes purchases, kaput, evaporate, just like that. It will happen when you get a new computer, which isn't as frequent as before, but the truth is we're moving to flash storage and it's more expensive and you get less and you haven't got room for your music files, never mind the inclination to listen to them.
Just like you wanted the biggest iPod but are satisfied with the smallest iPhone, you won't find it necessary to pay extra for more flash storage even when the price comes down, whether it be in computers or mobile handsets. Because everything will be stored in the cloud or delivered to you when requested.
Hoarding MP3s is like hoarding hieroglyphics, who wants an ancient format no one can read? Especially when it's just bits and bytes!
Eighteen years, that's how long a format lasts.
LPs... 1964, the advent of the Beatles, to 1982, the advent of the CD.
The CD... 1982 to 2000, when usurped by the MP3.
MP3s? By 2018 they're HISTORY!
2. Plays will be the metric.
Just like radio shifted to spins, how much someone listens to your music will be the only thing that's important, furthermore, listens get you paid.
This will be a revolution, a good one, the SoundScan era is history, sales charts make no sense. Companies ramp up the publicity for an initial sales week that media publicizes, all to do it again the next week for new records. This reduces the chances of something sticking. Whereas when plays becomes the metric, we'll instantly see what has stuck. Just because it was released last week or six or nine months ago, it won't matter, because we'll see people are actually playing it. And that which is heavily-hyped but left unplayed...beware.
3. Media will promote spins.
Yahoo already lists the top ten Spotify tracks every week. In the future, a media outlet will still talk about number one, but not how many albums or digital singles were sold, but how many plays it got. It'll be like YouTube, on Spotify there's a counter too, you can see how you stack up. Suddenly data is not hidden, it's there for all to see. And the truth will be that the blockbuster era will continue. We'll see huge winners and a sea of also-rans. We'll be on the outlook for that which is making huge gains. It will all be based on data, as opposed to today's smoke and mirrors.
4. Payouts will be high.
It's all about scale. Once we wean everyone from MP3s, once everybody pays for music, whether it be monthly or baked into the subscription, a huge pot of money will be generated, 69% of which will go to rights holders. So, if you've got an ancient, poor-paying label deal, the company will get most of it. If you're striking a new major label deal...think about what you're giving up, recorded music revenue, in exchange for the company's ability to spend and muscle and make you a star. You can stay independent and keep all the money, but your chance of rising above is diminished, especially in this world of overwhelming input.
5. It'll be mobile.
Spotify develops for mobile first. Not only will you have a smartphone, chances are it will be large, because it will be your primary screen, where you shop and dial-up your music, you want to be able to see and make sense. Think of your handset as the new iPad, just a little bit smaller.
6. Discovery will be in the Spotify app.
It's all about the real estate, you don't want to jump around. You'll roam around Spotify the same way you roamed around the record store, but inventory will be much greater and access will be instant. If your company is a recommendation engine not aligned with a streaming service, good luck!
7. Pandora survives.
Or is bought and merged. But if it survives, its impact will be marginalized over time, because we live in an on demand world, the future is on demand, not wait and see. Pandora is too valuable to be purchased by Spotify. And it's hobbled not only by royalty payments, but the fact it's not worldwide. In other words, you might love Pandora the way you loved your BlackBerry, as in temporarily.
8. iHeart Radio stalls.
It's not on demand. As for listening to your terrestrial station on the Internet... Pandora eclipses that, there are fewer commercials. Clear Channel's digital play is not revolutionary enough, it was billed as a Pandora killer when Pandora was not the correct target.
9. Passive listening.
That's what radio is. Spotify's got a component. There's a market for that. But not run by algorithms, but people. Which is why SiriusXM is so successful, all those people paying to get rid of commercials on their music stations (as well as Howard Stern.) In other words, Clear Channel is in a bind. Promoting a legacy system without legs. If you don't think terrestrial radio will be diminished, you're still listening to AM.
10. You will share Spotify playlists.
We live in a sharing economy. You'll send songs. This is a good thing, this is how we break bands. And inboxes won't be cluttered-up with MP3s, waiting for them to download, eating up space, getting lost in spam folders, however expect to be spammed by wannabes, just like they have done forever in the Internet era.
11. Sound quality will improve.
It's all about bandwidth. And LTE is faster than many people's home connection. And mobile providers are already pondering an even faster generation. The faster the bandwidth, the fatter the pipe, the higher the quality. Remember, there was no YouTube before broadband.
12. Data charges are irrelevant.
Not only did T-Mobile just obviate them for music services, Spotify synchs all playlists so no signal is needed, the "streams" live on your handset, just like files. So even if you've got no cell signal, you've got your music.
13. It's not about Spotify.
It's about streaming. Google's new service could be the winner, but let's hope not, because it pays less. Or maybe a reinvigorated Apple Beats. One thing is for sure, one service will dominate, it's where we'll all go, because we want to share, we don't want to be left out. So you might like Rdio or Deezer, but if you send a link and someone can't play it, that's not gonna work.
14. Exit strategy.
Just like Apple bought Beats, Facebook or Google or Amazon or even Microsoft might by Spotify. Don't forget, Google bought Motorola and Microsoft bought Nokia. If you can't compete, you buy.
15. Bottom line.
Don't get depressed, it's all about the music. Make a good tune and these services are your bitch. They allow you to reach the whole world instantly. And if you haven't, maybe you weren't meant to. Maybe you're not that talented, maybe you make niche music. But as people see what succeeds, it will spark their creativity. They'll see the high standard, they'll see what's left field that breaks through. The only problem we have today is everyone's got a voice, and those who don't win complain, whereas we didn't used to hear from them. Ignore them. Focus on the winners. Spread the word about them. And know that if your identity is based on liking something no one else does, chances are you're going to live a very lonely life.
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Rhinofy-Foreigner Primer
FEELS LIKE THE FIRST TIME
1977...the beginning of corporate rock or the last hurrah before disco?
There were five rock stations in L.A. From soft sounding KNX on the left hand of the dial to the free-format alternative of KROQ on the right.
But most people listened to what was in between, most famously KMET and the last man standing known as KLOS, and suddenly, on these twins, so close to each other at 94.7 and 95.5, appeared a song so infectious in the spring of '77 that I literally drove to the record store to buy it.
That track was "Feels Like The First Time," a veritable symphony concocted by the previously unheralded Mick Jones, fronted by the even more unknown Lou Gramm, the most famous man in the band was horn and keyboard player Ian McDonald, a refugee from King Crimson.
You can either say it's overproduced, or revel in the multiple instruments, the changes in dynamics and nod your head and say THIS IS GREAT!
If all Foreigner ever cut was this initial single, they'd still be remembered today.
Furthermore, the song is not meaningless. We all know the concept, and this track gets it across...IT FEELS LIKE THE FIRST TIME!
And you wonder why you're sitting at home with Pro Tools with a modicum of skills and a mediocre voice and you're not famous...BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT MICK JONES, YOU DON'T HAVE THE PIPES OF LOU GRAMM!
Decry the major label system of yore, but the truth is they had the best, and the bar to entry was high and those who made it to the top were truly talented.
LONG, LONG WAY FROM HOME
I'd be lying if I told you I loved the initial album, I bought it so I played it, and this was my second favorite track from it, it seemed genuine, authentic.
HEADKNOCKER
This made sense as the discography evolved. This is classic Foreigner, loud, in your face and dumb. It sounded that way from the very first play. And the band went further in this direction, which is why I stopped buying the LPs. Still, with distance this is quite listenable.
HOT BLOODED
Stupid, like "Headknocker."
Sure it's infectious, you couldn't avoid it on the radio, Foreigner was considered part of the canon when their second LP "Double Vision" was released in '78, still... It bugged me. Not so much now, but definitely then.
BLUE MORNING, BLUE DAY
Worse, but more authentic. This is another "Double Vision" cut that we heard endlessly on the radio.
DOUBLE VISION
Just hearing the riff brings me back, this was a cut like the ones by Foghat that FM played every weekend when boys without girls were driving in their cars drinking beer looking for action. The radio was the soundtrack, in a way it certainly is not today.
DIRTY WHITE BOY
And by time "Head Games," the band's third album, was released in '79, I was actively down on them. They seemed to be paint-by-number efforts for the heartland, there was no depth.
This is stupid. With hooks. But not exactly forgettable, maybe because we heard it so much.
HEAD GAMES
And what can I say, I'm denigrating the band, but I liked this then, and I love it today. The album's title track has the essence of "Feels Like The First Time," the opening flourish which hooks you immediately, the dynamics, but it's second tier compared to that masterpiece. However, the chorus goes straight to the heart...
"Head games
It's you and me baby
Head games
And I can't take it anymore"
It resonated then, but it's definitive today, since I'm so much more experienced with the games that are played. Lou Gramm sings like he's lived it, the emotion comes through, he means it and we believe it, WHEW!
And the change right after the chorus, who comes up with this stuff?
GENIUSES!
URGENT
The apotheosis, "4."
What do you do when you're at risk of becoming a caricature, when you've played out the obvious, when you've riffed on white boy angst far too much...
You hook up with Robert John "Mutt" Lange after AC/DC, but before Def Leppard, you concoct a sound so infectious your album dominates the charts for the better part of a year, you induct yourself into radio royalty, if not the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
Then again, Mutt's not in there either. And that's an oversight so grand they should close the Hall down, or kick out everybody who's inside based on music made after "4."
Come on, I love Eno, he's talented, but why does he get so much ink and Mutt does not?
Because Eno's fashionable and cool, whereas South African Mutt is a studio rat who does no publicity but who cannot only oversee the sessions, but write the songs, sing them and play them all by himself.
All the hype was about the Junior Walker sax solo, from a man who hadn't been heard from since the sixties, but the star of "4" is most definitely Mutt.
Have you heard that intro on a previous Foreigner album? That same blending of instruments? Without Mick and Lou there's no album, but Mutt takes them to a whole 'nother level.
"Urgent" sounds just as fresh thirty-odd years later.
If you're not smiling while you're listening to this, you can't.
WAITING FOR A GIRL LIKE YOU
Bookends "Feels Like The First Time" as the greatest Foreigner tracks ever, and it sounds completely different.
Just imagine driving in your car alone, late at night, as this came over the radio, nothing felt better.
I know, I'd push the buttons searching for it, even though I owned the LP.
Come on, the lyrics are so simple, yet so true, but it's the feel.
Suddenly Foreigner took it up a notch. Instead of playing to the mullet crowd, they went for the suburban gents who were well groomed and educated but just couldn't make it right with girls.
It comes over the horizon, in a fog, that's what the intro sounds like.
And then the steady groove, with the raindrop synth notes.
And then, the story....
"So long
I've been looking too hard
I've been waiting too long"
It's like you start off in the middle, you're immediately enraptured, "so long"... He's pouring his heart out from the start.
"It feels so right, so warm and true
I need to know if you feel it too"
That's what we're all looking for, mutuality. We feel it, do you? Do you dig us, can we count on you?
"Now I know it's right
From the moment I wake up till deep in the night"
The few extra words, the rhyme, it's so simple, yet so right.
"I've been waiting for a girl like you
To come into my life"
We all are. We're told to be proactive. We're told to search.
But it always happens by accident.
JUKE BOX HERO
Sure, another song about fandom and inspiration, but it's Mutt's tricks that put it over the top. The explosion after "guitar," even more the sound under "six string."
That heartbeat bass, the dynamics. You love it from afar, you're blown away when you concentrate, you may think it's easy to do this, but it's not. Sure, they were not creating a new genre, but they were concocting a sound that had the whole world listening, and that's POWERFUL!
I WANT TO KNOW WHAT LOVE IS
Sure, a monster hit, with an overplayed video, but the truth is it's a rewrite of "Waiting For A Girl Like You," and therefore I could give it no credence. Remaking your hits means you're anxious, you need to maintain your success, but you've got to grow, you've got to test limits.
But it is good, especially the pre-chorus:
"In my life there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face it again
Can't stop now, I've traveled so far
To change this lonely life"
THAT WAS YESTERDAY
Kind of a blend between old Foreigner and new, it's a more modern, slicker, slightly toned-down effort reminiscent of their pre-Mutt work. Good, but not especially memorable.
SAY YOU WILL
"Inside Information" is more forgettable than "Inside Information," but this one cut presages Lou's solo career, it's more him than the band, it's good.
I DON'T WANT TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU
What the hell, I'll include it, even though it's formulaic and forgettable. It was the band's last hit. And then they were done.
THE FLAME STILL BURNS
Or were they...
Co-composed by Squeeze's Chris Difford and Mick Jones, this is the Foreigner hit no one knows and no one's heard.
But it's a smash. The legendary hit of Strange Fruit.
Huh?
You can count the great rock movies on one hand. "A Hard Day's Night," "Help," "Quadrophenia" and...
A great rock movie should not be for fans only. It should play for everybody. And "Still Crazy" does.
Huh?
No, "Still Crazy"'s not that great, but it's far above average, and almost no one saw this English production, but you should, of a band reuniting twenty years after its heyday and...
Stephen Rea was famous because of "The Crying Game."
Billy Connolly was not the icon he is today.
This film featured journeyman actor Bill Nighy's breakout role, from here he became a star.
Jimmy Nail is now starring in Sting's play in Chicago.
And if you don't fall in love with charismatic band manager Juliet Aubrey, you don't like brunettes.
Rent it. You'll dig it. I guarantee it.
Meanwhile, watch the clip from the film on YouTube here: http://bit.ly/1lRc56E
Listen to the entire eight minute cut here: http://bit.ly/1mSviVS
It's majestic, royal, like a Queen cut, even though it sounds nothing like one, because it's a Foreigner song.
The reformulated band finally covered it acoustically, I've included it in this playlist.
CODA
I'd be remiss if I didn't include one other ingredient, the dear departed Bud Prager, who managed this band to the top, with the help of the Scotti Brothers, who he gave one percent of the records to in perpetuity to ensure their success.
Spotify playlist: http://spoti.fi/VaoLLU
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1977...the beginning of corporate rock or the last hurrah before disco?
There were five rock stations in L.A. From soft sounding KNX on the left hand of the dial to the free-format alternative of KROQ on the right.
But most people listened to what was in between, most famously KMET and the last man standing known as KLOS, and suddenly, on these twins, so close to each other at 94.7 and 95.5, appeared a song so infectious in the spring of '77 that I literally drove to the record store to buy it.
That track was "Feels Like The First Time," a veritable symphony concocted by the previously unheralded Mick Jones, fronted by the even more unknown Lou Gramm, the most famous man in the band was horn and keyboard player Ian McDonald, a refugee from King Crimson.
You can either say it's overproduced, or revel in the multiple instruments, the changes in dynamics and nod your head and say THIS IS GREAT!
If all Foreigner ever cut was this initial single, they'd still be remembered today.
Furthermore, the song is not meaningless. We all know the concept, and this track gets it across...IT FEELS LIKE THE FIRST TIME!
And you wonder why you're sitting at home with Pro Tools with a modicum of skills and a mediocre voice and you're not famous...BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT MICK JONES, YOU DON'T HAVE THE PIPES OF LOU GRAMM!
Decry the major label system of yore, but the truth is they had the best, and the bar to entry was high and those who made it to the top were truly talented.
LONG, LONG WAY FROM HOME
I'd be lying if I told you I loved the initial album, I bought it so I played it, and this was my second favorite track from it, it seemed genuine, authentic.
HEADKNOCKER
This made sense as the discography evolved. This is classic Foreigner, loud, in your face and dumb. It sounded that way from the very first play. And the band went further in this direction, which is why I stopped buying the LPs. Still, with distance this is quite listenable.
HOT BLOODED
Stupid, like "Headknocker."
Sure it's infectious, you couldn't avoid it on the radio, Foreigner was considered part of the canon when their second LP "Double Vision" was released in '78, still... It bugged me. Not so much now, but definitely then.
BLUE MORNING, BLUE DAY
Worse, but more authentic. This is another "Double Vision" cut that we heard endlessly on the radio.
DOUBLE VISION
Just hearing the riff brings me back, this was a cut like the ones by Foghat that FM played every weekend when boys without girls were driving in their cars drinking beer looking for action. The radio was the soundtrack, in a way it certainly is not today.
DIRTY WHITE BOY
And by time "Head Games," the band's third album, was released in '79, I was actively down on them. They seemed to be paint-by-number efforts for the heartland, there was no depth.
This is stupid. With hooks. But not exactly forgettable, maybe because we heard it so much.
HEAD GAMES
And what can I say, I'm denigrating the band, but I liked this then, and I love it today. The album's title track has the essence of "Feels Like The First Time," the opening flourish which hooks you immediately, the dynamics, but it's second tier compared to that masterpiece. However, the chorus goes straight to the heart...
"Head games
It's you and me baby
Head games
And I can't take it anymore"
It resonated then, but it's definitive today, since I'm so much more experienced with the games that are played. Lou Gramm sings like he's lived it, the emotion comes through, he means it and we believe it, WHEW!
And the change right after the chorus, who comes up with this stuff?
GENIUSES!
URGENT
The apotheosis, "4."
What do you do when you're at risk of becoming a caricature, when you've played out the obvious, when you've riffed on white boy angst far too much...
You hook up with Robert John "Mutt" Lange after AC/DC, but before Def Leppard, you concoct a sound so infectious your album dominates the charts for the better part of a year, you induct yourself into radio royalty, if not the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
Then again, Mutt's not in there either. And that's an oversight so grand they should close the Hall down, or kick out everybody who's inside based on music made after "4."
Come on, I love Eno, he's talented, but why does he get so much ink and Mutt does not?
Because Eno's fashionable and cool, whereas South African Mutt is a studio rat who does no publicity but who cannot only oversee the sessions, but write the songs, sing them and play them all by himself.
All the hype was about the Junior Walker sax solo, from a man who hadn't been heard from since the sixties, but the star of "4" is most definitely Mutt.
Have you heard that intro on a previous Foreigner album? That same blending of instruments? Without Mick and Lou there's no album, but Mutt takes them to a whole 'nother level.
"Urgent" sounds just as fresh thirty-odd years later.
If you're not smiling while you're listening to this, you can't.
WAITING FOR A GIRL LIKE YOU
Bookends "Feels Like The First Time" as the greatest Foreigner tracks ever, and it sounds completely different.
Just imagine driving in your car alone, late at night, as this came over the radio, nothing felt better.
I know, I'd push the buttons searching for it, even though I owned the LP.
Come on, the lyrics are so simple, yet so true, but it's the feel.
Suddenly Foreigner took it up a notch. Instead of playing to the mullet crowd, they went for the suburban gents who were well groomed and educated but just couldn't make it right with girls.
It comes over the horizon, in a fog, that's what the intro sounds like.
And then the steady groove, with the raindrop synth notes.
And then, the story....
"So long
I've been looking too hard
I've been waiting too long"
It's like you start off in the middle, you're immediately enraptured, "so long"... He's pouring his heart out from the start.
"It feels so right, so warm and true
I need to know if you feel it too"
That's what we're all looking for, mutuality. We feel it, do you? Do you dig us, can we count on you?
"Now I know it's right
From the moment I wake up till deep in the night"
The few extra words, the rhyme, it's so simple, yet so right.
"I've been waiting for a girl like you
To come into my life"
We all are. We're told to be proactive. We're told to search.
But it always happens by accident.
JUKE BOX HERO
Sure, another song about fandom and inspiration, but it's Mutt's tricks that put it over the top. The explosion after "guitar," even more the sound under "six string."
That heartbeat bass, the dynamics. You love it from afar, you're blown away when you concentrate, you may think it's easy to do this, but it's not. Sure, they were not creating a new genre, but they were concocting a sound that had the whole world listening, and that's POWERFUL!
I WANT TO KNOW WHAT LOVE IS
Sure, a monster hit, with an overplayed video, but the truth is it's a rewrite of "Waiting For A Girl Like You," and therefore I could give it no credence. Remaking your hits means you're anxious, you need to maintain your success, but you've got to grow, you've got to test limits.
But it is good, especially the pre-chorus:
"In my life there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face it again
Can't stop now, I've traveled so far
To change this lonely life"
THAT WAS YESTERDAY
Kind of a blend between old Foreigner and new, it's a more modern, slicker, slightly toned-down effort reminiscent of their pre-Mutt work. Good, but not especially memorable.
SAY YOU WILL
"Inside Information" is more forgettable than "Inside Information," but this one cut presages Lou's solo career, it's more him than the band, it's good.
I DON'T WANT TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU
What the hell, I'll include it, even though it's formulaic and forgettable. It was the band's last hit. And then they were done.
THE FLAME STILL BURNS
Or were they...
Co-composed by Squeeze's Chris Difford and Mick Jones, this is the Foreigner hit no one knows and no one's heard.
But it's a smash. The legendary hit of Strange Fruit.
Huh?
You can count the great rock movies on one hand. "A Hard Day's Night," "Help," "Quadrophenia" and...
A great rock movie should not be for fans only. It should play for everybody. And "Still Crazy" does.
Huh?
No, "Still Crazy"'s not that great, but it's far above average, and almost no one saw this English production, but you should, of a band reuniting twenty years after its heyday and...
Stephen Rea was famous because of "The Crying Game."
Billy Connolly was not the icon he is today.
This film featured journeyman actor Bill Nighy's breakout role, from here he became a star.
Jimmy Nail is now starring in Sting's play in Chicago.
And if you don't fall in love with charismatic band manager Juliet Aubrey, you don't like brunettes.
Rent it. You'll dig it. I guarantee it.
Meanwhile, watch the clip from the film on YouTube here: http://bit.ly/1lRc56E
Listen to the entire eight minute cut here: http://bit.ly/1mSviVS
It's majestic, royal, like a Queen cut, even though it sounds nothing like one, because it's a Foreigner song.
The reformulated band finally covered it acoustically, I've included it in this playlist.
CODA
I'd be remiss if I didn't include one other ingredient, the dear departed Bud Prager, who managed this band to the top, with the help of the Scotti Brothers, who he gave one percent of the records to in perpetuity to ensure their success.
Spotify playlist: http://spoti.fi/VaoLLU
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Wednesday, 2 July 2014
Songza To Google
It's not about the product.
That's the dirty little secret of all these tech companies, the goal isn't to create a good product, but to SELL OUT!
It's like a game of musical chairs, where the buy-in is millions, and everybody's afraid to be left without a seat at the table when the music stops.
And the problem is it's affected music too.
Today's game is to find someone to fund your art, get someone else to sponsor it, and to then focus on lifestyle. Your goal is not to thrill the alienated poor at home who lay their hard-earned money down to support your career, but to remove yourself from them, live behind a wall and fly private.
It's income inequality, it's the coarsening of society, it's elected officials who are beholden to corporations and lobbyists, not their constituents.
We used to look to artists to be the anti, but today they just want in. Everybody in Hollywood wants in. Universal's got an incubator. WME invests in tech. And Ashton Kutcher is revered not for his acting ability, but his investment prowess.
And I find Songza unfathomable. There are too many playlists, and when you find the one appealing to you, you find a dreck to hit ratio that's horrifying. Because it's about filling out the list, not true curation, where every cut counts, like the deejay used to do.
But deejays don't get paid enough, the radio ones, not the club ones.
And Jimmy Iovine said it was all about curation, but if he truly cared about art, Beats headphones would sound better and we'd all be talking about the playlists on Beats' music service, but we're not. There was a flash of publicity, and then...nothing, other than a sale to Apple.
As for Songza, I don't need a cooking playlist, I just need ten damn tunes I want to listen to all day long. Hell, I'll listen to the same ten songs for a week. Ever buy an album and do that, play nothing but it for seven days straight, I have numerous times. I want to go deeper, I'm not a grazer.
But grazing is the new pastime, what else can the festival be called.
So where's the antidote?
Give credit to that Kickstarter progenitor who refuses to go public, even though I find the service shaky. At least that guy is all about the vision. And art is all about the vision.
We love Neil Young because he does it his way, because he won't make a deal with anybody, fearful they'll taint the only thing that counts, the music.
But everybody under sixty believes selling out is a badge of honor. We're inundated with statements that kids don't care. But that's untrue. That's just businessmen pontificating, looking for their cut.
So a bunch of nerds bought the music app of a bunch of faceless New Yorkers.
We don't need more tech, we need more artists!
And the truth is we've always got time for the original who's got something to say and the ability to say it, the ability to play and sing.
And this is no one on the "Voice," that's the worst exponent of selling out, both the contestants and the judges.
And this is no one writing songs by committee.
But there must be people out there who believe the music is enough.
Certainly the audience feels this way. They're hungry for authentic. What's number one rolls off their shoulders, what speaks to their souls is FOREVER!
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That's the dirty little secret of all these tech companies, the goal isn't to create a good product, but to SELL OUT!
It's like a game of musical chairs, where the buy-in is millions, and everybody's afraid to be left without a seat at the table when the music stops.
And the problem is it's affected music too.
Today's game is to find someone to fund your art, get someone else to sponsor it, and to then focus on lifestyle. Your goal is not to thrill the alienated poor at home who lay their hard-earned money down to support your career, but to remove yourself from them, live behind a wall and fly private.
It's income inequality, it's the coarsening of society, it's elected officials who are beholden to corporations and lobbyists, not their constituents.
We used to look to artists to be the anti, but today they just want in. Everybody in Hollywood wants in. Universal's got an incubator. WME invests in tech. And Ashton Kutcher is revered not for his acting ability, but his investment prowess.
And I find Songza unfathomable. There are too many playlists, and when you find the one appealing to you, you find a dreck to hit ratio that's horrifying. Because it's about filling out the list, not true curation, where every cut counts, like the deejay used to do.
But deejays don't get paid enough, the radio ones, not the club ones.
And Jimmy Iovine said it was all about curation, but if he truly cared about art, Beats headphones would sound better and we'd all be talking about the playlists on Beats' music service, but we're not. There was a flash of publicity, and then...nothing, other than a sale to Apple.
As for Songza, I don't need a cooking playlist, I just need ten damn tunes I want to listen to all day long. Hell, I'll listen to the same ten songs for a week. Ever buy an album and do that, play nothing but it for seven days straight, I have numerous times. I want to go deeper, I'm not a grazer.
But grazing is the new pastime, what else can the festival be called.
So where's the antidote?
Give credit to that Kickstarter progenitor who refuses to go public, even though I find the service shaky. At least that guy is all about the vision. And art is all about the vision.
We love Neil Young because he does it his way, because he won't make a deal with anybody, fearful they'll taint the only thing that counts, the music.
But everybody under sixty believes selling out is a badge of honor. We're inundated with statements that kids don't care. But that's untrue. That's just businessmen pontificating, looking for their cut.
So a bunch of nerds bought the music app of a bunch of faceless New Yorkers.
We don't need more tech, we need more artists!
And the truth is we've always got time for the original who's got something to say and the ability to say it, the ability to play and sing.
And this is no one on the "Voice," that's the worst exponent of selling out, both the contestants and the judges.
And this is no one writing songs by committee.
But there must be people out there who believe the music is enough.
Certainly the audience feels this way. They're hungry for authentic. What's number one rolls off their shoulders, what speaks to their souls is FOREVER!
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Cruel World
I hate everything about Lana Del Rey except the music.
How can it be that things move so fast that everybody but fans ignore it, how can it be that something is number one one week, with the attendant publicity, both celebrating this fact, and the run-up hype thereto, and then be thrown upon the scrapheap a mere seven days later?
There's no context. Especially if you're not in high school. You want to delve into new music, but you don't know where to start. You read about stuff and check it out and are unsatisfied and say there's no good music and then you're bombarded by people telling you everything is good. Huh?
She changed her name, she inflated her lips, she had a disastrous SNL performance, but the grooves have sustained Lana Del Rey's career.
I don't trust "Billboard." I don't trust Amazon or iTunes, if someone paid for it, they like it, it's human nature, and the only other people reviewing the cuts on these sites are haters.
And Mediabase squeezes out the alternative, and doesn't show what's bubbling under.
So I've taken to the Spotify Top Lists. That's where I discovered "Cruel World."
I listened to the new Ed Sheeran, and it embodied what Rick Rubin said it would in his BBC interview, it sounds like Ed's live performance.
I listened to Lorde, it wasn't as good as "Royals," but it was certainly decent.
And then I listened to this. Because the buzz from the last album's "Summertime Sadness" has become deafening, because those who believe in Lizzie really do so.
And I was stunned. Because "Cruel World" didn't sound like everything else, not even close.
It's not Top Forty radio ready.
And it's not alternative.
It's got the polished, slick production the major labels can afford featuring players who know their craft. The indies pale in comparison.
And the lyrics.
It's like a modern day Doors record. It's dark. She's the female Jim Morrison. In tone, if he only sung when he was stoned and if she wrote slightly better lyrics.
Or she's Lou Reed with a better voice.
"Shared my body and my mind with you
That's all over now"
We do live in a sharing economy! But what's striking is Lana's the anti-Katy, the anti-Rihanna, she's not employing post-feminist girl power, all about physique and outfits, it's almost like she's on drugs in a dark room and is telling you her story and doesn't even care if you're listening, which makes you want to!
And the track is nearly endless. 6:39. And although hypnotic, repetitive.
But so intriguing. It's what music used to be, not playing to the station or the masses but just you, the individual, who wants to participate but is flummoxed by society. That's what records used to be, comforters, even if they were metal, they were blankets to wrap ourselves up in to stay warm, to survive.
The publicity was inane. The newspaper controversy about dying. If you couldn't see it all as manipulated hype, you can't read. When someone is selling something, they'll say anything, the dramatic gets ink. But the records today usually feature this same attitude, let me beat you over the head, let me throw everything at you, let me be overdramatic to convince you I'm better than you and you should pay attention to my explosion while I whore myself out to every corporation who'll have me. But "Cruel World" evidences none of this.
"Got your bible and your gun
You like your women and you like fun
I like my candy and your heroin
And I'm so happy, so happy now you're gone"
HUH?
Where did this come from? It doesn't sound like the protagonist even has a Facebook account, she certainly doesn't tweet, she texts to connect, but she's not interested in the big world, only her own, which makes us want to delve in too, because we're sick of self-promotion, that of others and ourselves.
And I want each and every one of you to listen to this song.
A good thirty percent will hate it outright. You know, the guys with the tattoos who believe rock must be loud and edgy and...
And those who are afraid... Who flinch at profanity, who want no controversy.
But the rest of you will be struck just like me. THIS IS WHAT PEOPLE ARE LISTENING TO? THIS IS A BIG ALBUM? HOW FANTASTIC IS THAT!!
Yes, the hype turned me off. In this case, the music is enough.
It's everything it used to be, but it's different, and it's brand new.
AND BETTER THAN MOST TV!
P.S. And on Spotify, unlike the lame Sam Smith. Keeping his album off the service so he can enter the charts at a higher number. Either you're part of the problem or you're part of the solution. Once upon a time the big acts were leaders, Aerosmith put out the first Internet single, today the bigger the artist the more they're wedded to the past, WANKERS!
Spotify: http://spoti.fi/1ongQof
YouTube: http://bit.ly/1sWyvrW
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How can it be that things move so fast that everybody but fans ignore it, how can it be that something is number one one week, with the attendant publicity, both celebrating this fact, and the run-up hype thereto, and then be thrown upon the scrapheap a mere seven days later?
There's no context. Especially if you're not in high school. You want to delve into new music, but you don't know where to start. You read about stuff and check it out and are unsatisfied and say there's no good music and then you're bombarded by people telling you everything is good. Huh?
She changed her name, she inflated her lips, she had a disastrous SNL performance, but the grooves have sustained Lana Del Rey's career.
I don't trust "Billboard." I don't trust Amazon or iTunes, if someone paid for it, they like it, it's human nature, and the only other people reviewing the cuts on these sites are haters.
And Mediabase squeezes out the alternative, and doesn't show what's bubbling under.
So I've taken to the Spotify Top Lists. That's where I discovered "Cruel World."
I listened to the new Ed Sheeran, and it embodied what Rick Rubin said it would in his BBC interview, it sounds like Ed's live performance.
I listened to Lorde, it wasn't as good as "Royals," but it was certainly decent.
And then I listened to this. Because the buzz from the last album's "Summertime Sadness" has become deafening, because those who believe in Lizzie really do so.
And I was stunned. Because "Cruel World" didn't sound like everything else, not even close.
It's not Top Forty radio ready.
And it's not alternative.
It's got the polished, slick production the major labels can afford featuring players who know their craft. The indies pale in comparison.
And the lyrics.
It's like a modern day Doors record. It's dark. She's the female Jim Morrison. In tone, if he only sung when he was stoned and if she wrote slightly better lyrics.
Or she's Lou Reed with a better voice.
"Shared my body and my mind with you
That's all over now"
We do live in a sharing economy! But what's striking is Lana's the anti-Katy, the anti-Rihanna, she's not employing post-feminist girl power, all about physique and outfits, it's almost like she's on drugs in a dark room and is telling you her story and doesn't even care if you're listening, which makes you want to!
And the track is nearly endless. 6:39. And although hypnotic, repetitive.
But so intriguing. It's what music used to be, not playing to the station or the masses but just you, the individual, who wants to participate but is flummoxed by society. That's what records used to be, comforters, even if they were metal, they were blankets to wrap ourselves up in to stay warm, to survive.
The publicity was inane. The newspaper controversy about dying. If you couldn't see it all as manipulated hype, you can't read. When someone is selling something, they'll say anything, the dramatic gets ink. But the records today usually feature this same attitude, let me beat you over the head, let me throw everything at you, let me be overdramatic to convince you I'm better than you and you should pay attention to my explosion while I whore myself out to every corporation who'll have me. But "Cruel World" evidences none of this.
"Got your bible and your gun
You like your women and you like fun
I like my candy and your heroin
And I'm so happy, so happy now you're gone"
HUH?
Where did this come from? It doesn't sound like the protagonist even has a Facebook account, she certainly doesn't tweet, she texts to connect, but she's not interested in the big world, only her own, which makes us want to delve in too, because we're sick of self-promotion, that of others and ourselves.
And I want each and every one of you to listen to this song.
A good thirty percent will hate it outright. You know, the guys with the tattoos who believe rock must be loud and edgy and...
And those who are afraid... Who flinch at profanity, who want no controversy.
But the rest of you will be struck just like me. THIS IS WHAT PEOPLE ARE LISTENING TO? THIS IS A BIG ALBUM? HOW FANTASTIC IS THAT!!
Yes, the hype turned me off. In this case, the music is enough.
It's everything it used to be, but it's different, and it's brand new.
AND BETTER THAN MOST TV!
P.S. And on Spotify, unlike the lame Sam Smith. Keeping his album off the service so he can enter the charts at a higher number. Either you're part of the problem or you're part of the solution. Once upon a time the big acts were leaders, Aerosmith put out the first Internet single, today the bigger the artist the more they're wedded to the past, WANKERS!
Spotify: http://spoti.fi/1ongQof
YouTube: http://bit.ly/1sWyvrW
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Tuesday, 1 July 2014
The Tiers
STADIUM ACTS
Are not bitching about what everybody else is. Money is not their issue. Everybody wants to be in business with them.
The transition in the business is evidenced by the fact that those who consistently sell out stadiums are younger generation acts, baby boomers cannot. Bruce Springsteen can do stadiums overseas, but not in the U.S. U2 may have been off the road long enough to try stadiums again, but without a hit new record, they probably shouldn't.
So the number one worldwide stadium act is One Direction, which breaks merch records wherever it goes, which has more sponsorship/endorsement deals than you can count. If you think the music business is in trouble, you're unfamiliar with their income. It only pales in comparison to those in finance/investment.
Then comes Taylor Swift. The opening act doesn't matter. She made it on her music. If you hate Taylor Swift, either you were involved with her or she wrote a song about your or both, but Ms. Swift is everything that's right about the music business, she told the story of her life in catchy songs, and you wonder why everybody is lining up to give her money?
And then there's Luke Bryan, who fills the structures with support acts, as does Kenny Chesney, still Luke's headliner status cannot be denied. He's had years of hits and makes music in a style trendsetters and tastemakers say is unfashionable, i.e. rock and roll, even though they call it country.
More acts, however thin the layer, are selling out stadiums than in years. This is a good thing.
ARENA ACTS-NEW
Radio hits got them here. That's the power of FM. They might have gotten their start online, but radio is selling 15,000-20,000 tickets a night. More than ever, these acts are pop, because that's what radio is. Will Katy Perry and Rihanna still sell ducats when they run out of hits? History says no, but we're rewriting history as we sit here.
Ticket prices are astronomical, so even though recorded music revenues are down, today's arena acts make more money than yesterday's. In the heyday of the early seventies, tickets to the arena were less than ten dollars. Today?
ARENA ACTS-CLASSIC
And the classic example is the Eagles, who go clean everywhere at prices so high that there's enough money to fly private and everybody takes home millions. Sure, it was easier to stay home and count record revenue than plying the boards, still, there's a lot of money out there for classic acts that can still sell out arenas.
And then there are the neo-classics, like Metallica, which still make new albums that some people care about and may not do stadiums in the U.S., but do so outside of it. Illustrating, once again, the myopia of those who don't realize there's more money to be made outside the U.S. than in it.
FESTIVAL HEADLINER-REFORMED ACT
The quintessential example is Outkast. Stay away long enough and festival promoters will pay you uber bucks to reunite and headline their weekend. Because festivals need a draw, and novelty sells. Payment is high, work is relatively easy, but when the festival season is over you'd have better saved your money, because your earning days, if not through, will probably not reach this stratospheric level again.
FESTIVAL UNDERCARD
They've got to fill out the bill. If you're a real name, who can sell tickets elsewhere, welcome to a decent payday. If you've done something and are new you'll get an appearance. But do not believe playing the undercard means you will work next year, or get booked on festivals the following year. The festival is not about you. And only a few attendees care about you. And almost no act breaks out of, never mind is revived out of, festivals. Want to make money at a festival? Be the promoter!
SHED ACTS
Tend to be repackaged classic rockers. There's a lot of money in it. Hundreds of thousands of dollars a night if you can sell tickets. The owners have to fill the seats, to satiate sponsors. They need draws. So Styx can work every year, as can Def Leppard, but most of these acts do have to work every year, income is good, but not enough to retire. You may be able to take one season off.
Then there are the new acts playing sheds. Occasionally there's a breakout headliner, oftentimes it's packages. These acts are on the way up as opposed to experiencing a victory lap. They are not rolling in dough. They are on the cusp. They're not bitching about Spotify payments, but they're looking at every avenue to make coin. They're hungry for sponsorships, they want to get their music out there. They've broken through, their desire it to stay there.
THEATRE ACTS
It's good business if you can get it. It means a few thousand people want to see you. If you cut it to the bone, you can make money on the road, but if you cut it to the bone, will people want to see you next time?
Younger acts invest more in the shows. Older acts, and those skewing older demographically, focus more on the music, that which resonates with their audience.
Theatre acts usually the hot ones. Those with the sound hipsters are talking about. The ones promoted by the public radio station and SiriusXM. They wish it were easier. They wish they could make money off of album sales. They wish there was a meaningful radio outlet that could blow them up. But either they need another hit single, yes, nascent Top Forty acts play theatres, or they're caught in limbo, they can't break through the ceiling. And there's a good chance their audience won't maintain.
So the good news is someone cares. The bad news is not enough. And going one step up is so hard.
CLUB ACTS
There are two kinds of clubs. Ones holding over a thousand people, and there are many, like the Wiltern, are akin to theatres, the acts that play them are theatre acts.
And then there are the true clubs. Which hold a few hundred people at most.
Once upon a time, record companies kept clubs in business, by buying tables and drinks. They don't do this anymore. Clubs have to make it on their own. So they can't afford name talent and they need acts that can sell tickets. So frequently clubs feature acts many have not heard of and don't draw. And it's easier to break through online than it is to go on a club tour, unless you're a great live act or a developing metal or punk band. You can get your business started, but it's up to you to make it bigger.
HOUSE CONCERT ACTS
You were someone once. Or you play adult-oriented folk. You complain that it ain't the way it used to be. On the other hand, it can be a very good middle class living, but it's the last stop, the dead end. You can make new music and sell it to those who attend, but no one else cares. It's frustrating, but radio doesn't want old people and old people, other than the ones who come to your shows, don't want new music.
YOUTUBE SENSATIONS
You must have millions of plays to be a sensation. Hopefully, double digit millions. If you hit triple digit millions, go on your instant victory lap, like PSY or Carly Rae Jepsen, that's all you may ever get.
So if you've got millions of plays, pat yourself on the back, you've accomplished something. But not much.
How can that be?
There's too much info, everybody's a grazer, what have you done for me lately... You're not even a one hit wonder, you're making almost no money, you think you're entitled to more but you're not. You rail that no one's buying your album. And you complain that streaming pays a pittance. But the truth is you're just not big enough.
SIGNED TO MAJOR LABEL
Congratulations, someone believes in you! Probably because you racked up a few million YouTube plays. Someone's got money to invest, hopefully they'll push you on the radio and get you started in theatres. But maybe not. The regime might change, tastes might change, maybe your record isn't that good. And if the label cares, it's not going to release that LP until they believe it's got a hit. It's their money, they don't care about you, but them. Save every penny you can, it's all you may ever see.
SIGNED TO INDIE LABEL
You can tell your friends and family you have a deal but there will be almost no investment in you and you'll still be doing all the work. Sure, some indie albums break through, but those are the ones with labels attached to the major label machine, who decide to make you a priority. You think you're in the music business, you think you deserve more, and you're frustrated where you end up. The indie acts complain louder than anyone. They're passionate about what they do so they believe everybody else should be too. They just can't understand why they can't get paid. They work so hard, they're getting screwed by Spotify, they yearn for the pre-Internet era, not realizing in those years they wouldn't be allowed to play at all, recording would be too expensive and they wouldn't be able to get distribution into physical retail. Just because you're on iTunes that does not make you an act worthy of attention.
THE HOBBYIST
Is in their basement, concocting tracks, devouring all the information on the web. While the top liners are too busy making money to dive into the minutiae, the hobbyist knows everything about Pandora and Spotify and voices their opinion constantly. The hobbyist wants to be in the game. But most don't take action. They don't want to give up their day job, they don't believe in themselves enough. They'd rather complain about the game than play it. Beware of the words of the hobbyist.
THE WANNABE
The mirror star. The "Voice" expert. The couch potato. Someone who consumes media and plots their way to the top believing it's all about short cuts and no hard work. They believe the business is a game alternately in their favor or stacked against them. They believe the judges really have power. They will do anything for stardom. Which bothers those further up the food chain, who believe they're paying real dues. In reality, they're passionate fans, who usually need a few more years to give up their dream.
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Are not bitching about what everybody else is. Money is not their issue. Everybody wants to be in business with them.
The transition in the business is evidenced by the fact that those who consistently sell out stadiums are younger generation acts, baby boomers cannot. Bruce Springsteen can do stadiums overseas, but not in the U.S. U2 may have been off the road long enough to try stadiums again, but without a hit new record, they probably shouldn't.
So the number one worldwide stadium act is One Direction, which breaks merch records wherever it goes, which has more sponsorship/endorsement deals than you can count. If you think the music business is in trouble, you're unfamiliar with their income. It only pales in comparison to those in finance/investment.
Then comes Taylor Swift. The opening act doesn't matter. She made it on her music. If you hate Taylor Swift, either you were involved with her or she wrote a song about your or both, but Ms. Swift is everything that's right about the music business, she told the story of her life in catchy songs, and you wonder why everybody is lining up to give her money?
And then there's Luke Bryan, who fills the structures with support acts, as does Kenny Chesney, still Luke's headliner status cannot be denied. He's had years of hits and makes music in a style trendsetters and tastemakers say is unfashionable, i.e. rock and roll, even though they call it country.
More acts, however thin the layer, are selling out stadiums than in years. This is a good thing.
ARENA ACTS-NEW
Radio hits got them here. That's the power of FM. They might have gotten their start online, but radio is selling 15,000-20,000 tickets a night. More than ever, these acts are pop, because that's what radio is. Will Katy Perry and Rihanna still sell ducats when they run out of hits? History says no, but we're rewriting history as we sit here.
Ticket prices are astronomical, so even though recorded music revenues are down, today's arena acts make more money than yesterday's. In the heyday of the early seventies, tickets to the arena were less than ten dollars. Today?
ARENA ACTS-CLASSIC
And the classic example is the Eagles, who go clean everywhere at prices so high that there's enough money to fly private and everybody takes home millions. Sure, it was easier to stay home and count record revenue than plying the boards, still, there's a lot of money out there for classic acts that can still sell out arenas.
And then there are the neo-classics, like Metallica, which still make new albums that some people care about and may not do stadiums in the U.S., but do so outside of it. Illustrating, once again, the myopia of those who don't realize there's more money to be made outside the U.S. than in it.
FESTIVAL HEADLINER-REFORMED ACT
The quintessential example is Outkast. Stay away long enough and festival promoters will pay you uber bucks to reunite and headline their weekend. Because festivals need a draw, and novelty sells. Payment is high, work is relatively easy, but when the festival season is over you'd have better saved your money, because your earning days, if not through, will probably not reach this stratospheric level again.
FESTIVAL UNDERCARD
They've got to fill out the bill. If you're a real name, who can sell tickets elsewhere, welcome to a decent payday. If you've done something and are new you'll get an appearance. But do not believe playing the undercard means you will work next year, or get booked on festivals the following year. The festival is not about you. And only a few attendees care about you. And almost no act breaks out of, never mind is revived out of, festivals. Want to make money at a festival? Be the promoter!
SHED ACTS
Tend to be repackaged classic rockers. There's a lot of money in it. Hundreds of thousands of dollars a night if you can sell tickets. The owners have to fill the seats, to satiate sponsors. They need draws. So Styx can work every year, as can Def Leppard, but most of these acts do have to work every year, income is good, but not enough to retire. You may be able to take one season off.
Then there are the new acts playing sheds. Occasionally there's a breakout headliner, oftentimes it's packages. These acts are on the way up as opposed to experiencing a victory lap. They are not rolling in dough. They are on the cusp. They're not bitching about Spotify payments, but they're looking at every avenue to make coin. They're hungry for sponsorships, they want to get their music out there. They've broken through, their desire it to stay there.
THEATRE ACTS
It's good business if you can get it. It means a few thousand people want to see you. If you cut it to the bone, you can make money on the road, but if you cut it to the bone, will people want to see you next time?
Younger acts invest more in the shows. Older acts, and those skewing older demographically, focus more on the music, that which resonates with their audience.
Theatre acts usually the hot ones. Those with the sound hipsters are talking about. The ones promoted by the public radio station and SiriusXM. They wish it were easier. They wish they could make money off of album sales. They wish there was a meaningful radio outlet that could blow them up. But either they need another hit single, yes, nascent Top Forty acts play theatres, or they're caught in limbo, they can't break through the ceiling. And there's a good chance their audience won't maintain.
So the good news is someone cares. The bad news is not enough. And going one step up is so hard.
CLUB ACTS
There are two kinds of clubs. Ones holding over a thousand people, and there are many, like the Wiltern, are akin to theatres, the acts that play them are theatre acts.
And then there are the true clubs. Which hold a few hundred people at most.
Once upon a time, record companies kept clubs in business, by buying tables and drinks. They don't do this anymore. Clubs have to make it on their own. So they can't afford name talent and they need acts that can sell tickets. So frequently clubs feature acts many have not heard of and don't draw. And it's easier to break through online than it is to go on a club tour, unless you're a great live act or a developing metal or punk band. You can get your business started, but it's up to you to make it bigger.
HOUSE CONCERT ACTS
You were someone once. Or you play adult-oriented folk. You complain that it ain't the way it used to be. On the other hand, it can be a very good middle class living, but it's the last stop, the dead end. You can make new music and sell it to those who attend, but no one else cares. It's frustrating, but radio doesn't want old people and old people, other than the ones who come to your shows, don't want new music.
YOUTUBE SENSATIONS
You must have millions of plays to be a sensation. Hopefully, double digit millions. If you hit triple digit millions, go on your instant victory lap, like PSY or Carly Rae Jepsen, that's all you may ever get.
So if you've got millions of plays, pat yourself on the back, you've accomplished something. But not much.
How can that be?
There's too much info, everybody's a grazer, what have you done for me lately... You're not even a one hit wonder, you're making almost no money, you think you're entitled to more but you're not. You rail that no one's buying your album. And you complain that streaming pays a pittance. But the truth is you're just not big enough.
SIGNED TO MAJOR LABEL
Congratulations, someone believes in you! Probably because you racked up a few million YouTube plays. Someone's got money to invest, hopefully they'll push you on the radio and get you started in theatres. But maybe not. The regime might change, tastes might change, maybe your record isn't that good. And if the label cares, it's not going to release that LP until they believe it's got a hit. It's their money, they don't care about you, but them. Save every penny you can, it's all you may ever see.
SIGNED TO INDIE LABEL
You can tell your friends and family you have a deal but there will be almost no investment in you and you'll still be doing all the work. Sure, some indie albums break through, but those are the ones with labels attached to the major label machine, who decide to make you a priority. You think you're in the music business, you think you deserve more, and you're frustrated where you end up. The indie acts complain louder than anyone. They're passionate about what they do so they believe everybody else should be too. They just can't understand why they can't get paid. They work so hard, they're getting screwed by Spotify, they yearn for the pre-Internet era, not realizing in those years they wouldn't be allowed to play at all, recording would be too expensive and they wouldn't be able to get distribution into physical retail. Just because you're on iTunes that does not make you an act worthy of attention.
THE HOBBYIST
Is in their basement, concocting tracks, devouring all the information on the web. While the top liners are too busy making money to dive into the minutiae, the hobbyist knows everything about Pandora and Spotify and voices their opinion constantly. The hobbyist wants to be in the game. But most don't take action. They don't want to give up their day job, they don't believe in themselves enough. They'd rather complain about the game than play it. Beware of the words of the hobbyist.
THE WANNABE
The mirror star. The "Voice" expert. The couch potato. Someone who consumes media and plots their way to the top believing it's all about short cuts and no hard work. They believe the business is a game alternately in their favor or stacked against them. They believe the judges really have power. They will do anything for stardom. Which bothers those further up the food chain, who believe they're paying real dues. In reality, they're passionate fans, who usually need a few more years to give up their dream.
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Monday, 30 June 2014
My Illness
It was the trout at Galena Lodge.
I knew something was wrong when I couldn't get warm. But I chalked it up to too much air conditioning, everybody was complaining, but that couldn't quite explain shivering and chill bumps two hours later, or could it?
You see it was illegal to be sick in the house I grew up in. If I told my mother I wasn't feeling well, she'd advise I go to school and see if the cold maintained. You see her mother was a hypochondriac. As a result, even with insurance, in my family doctors are anathema, you're supposed to tough it out.
But I'm at 6,000 feet and I've got leukemia and I'm sitting in the summer sun with a long sleeve shirt and a fleece vest and a hoodie and I'm still shaking, you'd think a trip to the infirmary would be advisable...
But not me!
So I was dropped off at the residence while my compatriots journeyed to dinner and my first goal was to warm myself up.
So I drew a bath. And remembering all my knowledge about frostbite I knew the water shouldn't be scalding, then again I could feel my limbs, but what I'm trying to convey is how afraid I was, like I was gonna...die.
I mean I'm not sure how it happens. Sure, you could get into an accident and pass instantly, but if illness snuffs you out...does it fade, or is it instant? Are you vulnerable and then do you experience a whammy and go down for the count just like that?
Which is why I didn't go to sleep, however tired I was, because I don't want to go that way, I want to be wide awake, I want to see death coming.
And as the chills started to subside, I mixed in some truly hot water, but then I was afraid of drowning... I did tell you I was paranoid, right?
And I knew I should eat something even though I didn't feel like it but all they had in the house was soup, and my system...
Well, this was after I ate the energy bars. That's what they're for, right, energy?
And I started drinking copious amounts of water.
And did I mention the diarrhea?
I mean the constitution of my system is not quite what it used to be, I used to be able to eat anything. Now I've got to forgo sriracha, and indigestion is my friend, so the fact that I had had numerous visits to the loo earlier in the day didn't signal something more significant, but now I was truly out on the edge, terrified.
Eventually I had some protein, the duck that was reserved for dinner. But it didn't get rid of the splitting headache. No, that's not quite the right description, it was as if someone put my head in a vise and then whacked my noggin with a book.
And you'd think I'd be able to sleep, but I couldn't.
And the next morning my diarrhea was just as bad so...
I sucked it up and went to the conference, albeit late.
But later, when we were on the back porch, hearing the Napster story from John Hummer, that old cold feeling started to seep back in. That chicken skin. And those shivers and shakes.
So I knew something more was required.
I figured it was anemia, my hemorrhoids had acted up as a result of all that time on the pot, and I wanted to stanch the bleeding which required smoother movements so I borrowed a car and drove to the grocery store for some Metamucil, to ease the passage, and once again I was shaking, absolutely freezing, I could walk, but very very slowly.
And as the evening wore on I could not rally. I held my head in my hands, feeling like a party-pooper, but that's what my family does best, go along with the show, I felt I was unentitled to blow the whistle.
And last night I slept much better, but why were the sheets so wet?
And I'd loaded up with everything in my arsenal, not only the newly-purchased Metamucil but the stool softeners and anal bullets I travel with but rarely use but was so proud of myself for having in my old kit bag. I mean that's the Boy Scout motto, right? Be prepared?
And I am an Eagle Scout. I mean how else was I supposed to get into college? And yes, I was approached by a homosexual at Boy Scout camp but now I'm WAY off point.
And the clerk said we checked in ninety seconds too late and our bags wouldn't make the flight home. And that we'd have to pick them up tomorrow, because there's only one flight to L.A. a day. And I'm running my mental checklist, is there anything in my bag necessary to ensure my health?
I didn't think so, but it turned out to be a false alarm, our bags arrived.
And finally I was back where the air is thick and the altitude is low but my head was still not clear and suddenly, I felt like I had to go to the bathroom every five minutes.
This could not happen. I had nothing inside, no lunch, only a yogurt for breakfast.
What's a poor boy to do? Certainly not play in a rock and roll band. I could barely watch TV.
So as the hours wore on and my anxiety flared I did what everybody does in a health crisis today, I Googled.
And that's when I found my exact symptoms. Chills and diarrhea. Caused by undercooked fish. EUREKA!
Not that I'm better. I mean I'm better, but I haven't recovered.
So do I go to the doctor now?
There's nothing worse than having them say there's nothing wrong.
But there positively was.
And I was an idiot not to take it more seriously.
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I knew something was wrong when I couldn't get warm. But I chalked it up to too much air conditioning, everybody was complaining, but that couldn't quite explain shivering and chill bumps two hours later, or could it?
You see it was illegal to be sick in the house I grew up in. If I told my mother I wasn't feeling well, she'd advise I go to school and see if the cold maintained. You see her mother was a hypochondriac. As a result, even with insurance, in my family doctors are anathema, you're supposed to tough it out.
But I'm at 6,000 feet and I've got leukemia and I'm sitting in the summer sun with a long sleeve shirt and a fleece vest and a hoodie and I'm still shaking, you'd think a trip to the infirmary would be advisable...
But not me!
So I was dropped off at the residence while my compatriots journeyed to dinner and my first goal was to warm myself up.
So I drew a bath. And remembering all my knowledge about frostbite I knew the water shouldn't be scalding, then again I could feel my limbs, but what I'm trying to convey is how afraid I was, like I was gonna...die.
I mean I'm not sure how it happens. Sure, you could get into an accident and pass instantly, but if illness snuffs you out...does it fade, or is it instant? Are you vulnerable and then do you experience a whammy and go down for the count just like that?
Which is why I didn't go to sleep, however tired I was, because I don't want to go that way, I want to be wide awake, I want to see death coming.
And as the chills started to subside, I mixed in some truly hot water, but then I was afraid of drowning... I did tell you I was paranoid, right?
And I knew I should eat something even though I didn't feel like it but all they had in the house was soup, and my system...
Well, this was after I ate the energy bars. That's what they're for, right, energy?
And I started drinking copious amounts of water.
And did I mention the diarrhea?
I mean the constitution of my system is not quite what it used to be, I used to be able to eat anything. Now I've got to forgo sriracha, and indigestion is my friend, so the fact that I had had numerous visits to the loo earlier in the day didn't signal something more significant, but now I was truly out on the edge, terrified.
Eventually I had some protein, the duck that was reserved for dinner. But it didn't get rid of the splitting headache. No, that's not quite the right description, it was as if someone put my head in a vise and then whacked my noggin with a book.
And you'd think I'd be able to sleep, but I couldn't.
And the next morning my diarrhea was just as bad so...
I sucked it up and went to the conference, albeit late.
But later, when we were on the back porch, hearing the Napster story from John Hummer, that old cold feeling started to seep back in. That chicken skin. And those shivers and shakes.
So I knew something more was required.
I figured it was anemia, my hemorrhoids had acted up as a result of all that time on the pot, and I wanted to stanch the bleeding which required smoother movements so I borrowed a car and drove to the grocery store for some Metamucil, to ease the passage, and once again I was shaking, absolutely freezing, I could walk, but very very slowly.
And as the evening wore on I could not rally. I held my head in my hands, feeling like a party-pooper, but that's what my family does best, go along with the show, I felt I was unentitled to blow the whistle.
And last night I slept much better, but why were the sheets so wet?
And I'd loaded up with everything in my arsenal, not only the newly-purchased Metamucil but the stool softeners and anal bullets I travel with but rarely use but was so proud of myself for having in my old kit bag. I mean that's the Boy Scout motto, right? Be prepared?
And I am an Eagle Scout. I mean how else was I supposed to get into college? And yes, I was approached by a homosexual at Boy Scout camp but now I'm WAY off point.
And the clerk said we checked in ninety seconds too late and our bags wouldn't make the flight home. And that we'd have to pick them up tomorrow, because there's only one flight to L.A. a day. And I'm running my mental checklist, is there anything in my bag necessary to ensure my health?
I didn't think so, but it turned out to be a false alarm, our bags arrived.
And finally I was back where the air is thick and the altitude is low but my head was still not clear and suddenly, I felt like I had to go to the bathroom every five minutes.
This could not happen. I had nothing inside, no lunch, only a yogurt for breakfast.
What's a poor boy to do? Certainly not play in a rock and roll band. I could barely watch TV.
So as the hours wore on and my anxiety flared I did what everybody does in a health crisis today, I Googled.
And that's when I found my exact symptoms. Chills and diarrhea. Caused by undercooked fish. EUREKA!
Not that I'm better. I mean I'm better, but I haven't recovered.
So do I go to the doctor now?
There's nothing worse than having them say there's nothing wrong.
But there positively was.
And I was an idiot not to take it more seriously.
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