Car Trouble

1 I'm not usually up at this hour. So I'm cruising down Sunset after a hike in the mountains last night, I'm going about forty, listening to the radio, feeling good because the shop got new liners for my ski boots, and the battery light comes on. Even weirder, the car seems to die. Or is it really dead? At this point I'm not sure, but one thing is for sure, the steering is very heavy, VERY heavy. So I pull off onto Gretna Green and turn the car off. And then on again. Hoping it's like a computer, that if I reboot the problem will go away, but the battery light is still shining bright. I don't think I've ever had this happen before. Does this mean the battery is dead? It's not that old. But the light has never come on like this when my battery has died before, and this car has had many batteries. AAA comes and installs one and it fails under warranty... Seems like every few years I get a brand new one. So I go to Dr. Google. Which says it could be the battery, but it's probably the alternator. 2 Okay, alternators go... But this is a twenty one year old car, what else is going to go? But Google tells me I can drive the car for ten minutes or so. This won't get me home, but it will get me closer to home (thank you Mark Farner!), which will get me closer to Subaru of Sherman Oaks... So I start the car up, it does start, but the steering is uber-heavy. I mean UBER-HEAVY! I've had cars sans power steering, but it wasn't as bad as this. So I go back to Google. Which tells me that it's probably the serpentine belt. Which means I'm f*cked, which means I'm gonna have to call the tow truck. But first I raise the hood and take a peek. And today's cars are so jam-packed, it's hard to see. So I go back into the car to do some more Googling, and everybody says the same thing, so I go back under the hood and I see some frayed ends, of what looks like electrical wire, with metal in the middle. This isn't good. But then I realize this is probably part of the belt, and the rest shredded and fell apart on Sunset. So I call AAA. But believe me, I'm having a hard time reading the card, because I don't have my glasses with me. They allow you to do it all via text, but I can't really see the text. So I wait for the operator and she tells me that a truck will be there at 9:40. Well, that's nearly an hour from now. And then I remember, didn't I leave some reading glasses in my glove box? I'm praying, because if I can't read my phone, what else am I going to do while I'm waiting, and voila!, I open the glove box and they are there. It's kind of like that "Twilight Zone" episode, at the end of time, where the guy loves to read and just before he enters the library his glasses fall off and break. Thank god for the phone, in the old days you'd have to just stare into the distance. And I'm kind of pissed off, and the news is bugging me, so I decide to talk to AI. Which is what I end up doing all the time that I'm waiting. It's research. Everywhere I go everybody is relying on AI, I might as well get on the bandwagon. And I'm sitting there thinking how cars don't break anymore. Back in the old days, it was a regular feature. In the sixties, if you could get a car to go sixty or seventy thousand miles, you were lucky. But one thing is for sure, the car would break along the way. I remember a hose breaking in my 2002 back in the early eighties. And then getting a leak in another place. Actually, after having the car towed twice in a matter of months, this time I was so frustrated that I put in the leak stop fluid, which you're never supposed to do, and it worked and the car drove for another forty or fifty thousand miles without a problem. And then there was that time we were driving up north to San Francisco, and all of a sudden said 2002...the temperature gauge went straight to the sky, with the lights on to boot. I was smart enough to pull over, knowing that otherwise I'd cook the engine, but now what was I going to do? Stunningly, a tow truck came by, carried me to a 76 station, where they had the belt, and this same guy came back and installed it. I knew it was the belt because the remnants were hanging down from the engine. And this only cost fifteen bucks! And I bought an extra belt from the dealership and put it in the wheel well, just in case, not that I ever needed it, but it's best to be prepared. 3 So I'm sitting in the car, thinking about all this as I'm conversing with AI, and I tell myself I'm 73, I've had problems before, this is much less than it could be, my brother-in-law just slipped and broke his hip, but that's how it happens, you're cruising along, not a problem in the world and then BANG! And like I said, this car is twenty one years old. Do I cashier it? And if so, then what do I do? Well, my first instinct is to buy one off lease, that is certified. But in the middle of the night, when I couldn't sleep, I realized it made no sense to exchange one used car for another. But if I get a new car... If I did lease, that would be dumb, because the car sits outside for months when I'm in Vail. And I don't want to buy too good a car since this is where it lives, on the street. Then again, I'm so old, I should get what I want, how many more new cars will I buy? But now it's sinking in. I've got criteria. It has to have a great stereo. All of my cars have had aftermarket units, which if you're willing to pay, and I was, are far superior to what comes from the manufacturer. But the cost is now astronomical. Even worse, with all the sophisticated electronics you can't just plop in a new head unit and sail forward from there. And how much does the bill have to be before I call it a day? And do I need to get it fixed so I can sell it/get a better trade-in? My car's value has bumped up in price. Used to be they were worth less than a WRX, now they are more. Assuming they're in good condition, my paint job sucks. But with a good paint job, you can get ten or twelve k. And I'm thinking about the money, thinking how now I actually do have the money, I can cope with whatever happens, which was not the case for decades. I'm surprisingly relaxed. Then again, I'm in a zone. My original plan was to go home, watch two episodes of this TV series and then read my book. That's off the table. I'm just sitting here waiting. And waiting... Ultimately it took two hours for the truck to show up. It came all the way from Santa Clarita, which if you know L.A., is far. What was going on here? But the driver ultimately told me that's how big his territory is. So he arrives with a flatbed. This used to be exotic, now it's de rigueur. Used to be they lifted up your wheels and pulled your car along and you had to worry about all kinds of damage, from the transmission to the body, but not anymore. But how are we going to get it up there? The guy asks me if it drives. I say sorta, but the steering is really heavy. But he asks me if I want to drive it onto the truck. Okay... And he's lowering the bed and I'm starting to freak, it looks like it will hit the front of my automobile, but then it stops, I get behind the wheel, and LET THE GAMES BEGIN! My car has a standard transmission. And the engine is turbocharged, which was rare back in the day. And it doesn't have enough low-end torque. The following year, and they only made this car for two years, they improved that. Bottom line, if you're going up a hill and you need to feather the clutch... In my old machines, the hill on La Cienega, up to Sunset, NO PROBLEM, but in this one it's a white knuckle ride. But I get up on the flatbed, but this guy keeps urging me to get it closer and closer to the end. No problem with an automatic, but with this car, one false move and I'm going to hit the cab. But ultimately he is satisfied where it is, he ties it down, and we go off for our ride. 4 I'm thinking about is what happens after he drops my car at the dealership, will he give me a ride home. The first thing the AAA operator asked me was, ARE YOU SAFE? In Brentwood, no issue. But on Van Nuys Boulevard late at night, I'm not so sure. And he tells me if it's just a couple of miles, he'll take me home, but I check on the map app and it's eight, so that's not going to happen. So I text Felice, who has been in the loop, that she's gonna have to meet me. And now we're rockin' down the highway... I talk to these people. And I do my best to appear equal. I'm not going to sit there quiet and act superior. So we're joking, and then I get his story. He works from five p.m. to six a.m. Really? Yup, after eight hours he gets more pay. And he works six days a week. And does he like this? He loves helping people. So what was up with the previous guy's car, up in Santa Clarita? His radiator blew. So the driver tells me he's been working since age thirteen, in his uncle's tire shop. And that he had to look after his two sisters, because his mother was a single parent. And I asked him what the dream was, but there was no dream, he just wanted to keep on working. So then, as we got off the freeway, as we were sitting at a light, as we were approaching our destination, I popped the question I always do, WHAT ABOUT ROMANCE? I never ask about a girlfriend, because it could be a boyfriend and... He ultimately tells a sad story about how he fitted out this apartment, bought his girlfriend a laptop, even bought a VW in her name, and just days before he was supposed to move in, she disappeared. WHEW! And then he told me this happened only a month ago. So I commiserated, and then we were there, at Subaru of Sherman Oaks. 5 I had this all plotted out in my mind. We'd leave it on the lot and I'd get there when they opened the next morning, however... You can't get on the lot. They leave two cars blocking the way. So now what. Well, the side street won't let you park overnight. As for Van Nuys Boulevard, same thing. And I'm thinking... I don't want to have my car towed twice. I'm worried I won't be able to get it to the dealership if I park too far away. And we're debating this. How about we leave my car right up close to the parked cars, the ones blocking the entrance. But that would leave me on the sidewalk, and would my car get towed by the police? And I'm looking to this guy for advice, after all, he's the expert, but he's completely flummoxed. After nearly twenty minutes of driving around and debating this, I ultimately say we should find the closest place we can where I can park overnight and leave it there. Which we do, a couple of streets away. On a very sleepy street. And the truck's headlights are going straight into this family's living room, they probably thought they were being busted. But we leave the car, the driver takes me back to the dealership where Felice is waiting, and he tells me he's only going to charge me two miles of distance instead of three. There's a range, and I exceeded it, it's thirteen dollars a mile after that. But at this point I'm not thinking about money. You just have to leave your wallet open these days. 6 So I tell Felice I want to get up at seven, so I can be at the dealership at 7:30, when they open. She's stunned, I'm a late night person, REALLY? Yup! Now I won't say I slept well. And I'm thinking this is why you buy an electric car, nothing breaks! Nichol's driven her Tesla 3 for 120,000 miles and all she's needed is tires. There ain't no stinkin' belts. I mean this is obvious, right? And I'm debating the logistics of the morning, but I tell myself...It always works out, I'll get past this, that's the benefit of being old, experience. And I wake up before the alarm and it's not quite light out. I go out and get the papers, sit and eat my yogurt so I can take my pills, as I study the map app. Twelve minutes. Then thirteen. Okay, I get it together and the amazing thing is the route is all blue. First I think it's because it's so damn early, but when I hit the 405 going north, it's a parking lot in the other direction. I realize I'm going AGAINST traffic. And usually you can pull a U right in front of Subaru of Sherman Oaks, but at this hour Van Nuys Boulevard is akin to the cruising days of old. But ultimately I make it, park and...there are only a couple of cars waiting for service. Now if you go on a Monday morning, it's a madhouse. And I'm thinking my main issue is how I'm going to get the car to the dealership. Which is why I immediately ask for Daryl, the majordomo, the master mechanic who now runs the whole show. We've become buds, once again, conversation pays dividends. And I like hearing about cars. So turns out Darryl is sitting right inside, and he asks me to tell him my story, and he's contemplating it, and I tell him I think it's the serpentine belt. He thinks so too. So after Erica writes me up, Darryl and I walk through the neighborhood to where my car is. He's a muscular guy, I figure he can overpower the steering. And we're talking about his trip to see relatives on a lake in North Carolina, he's pointing out a tree that drops pine cones that dent cars, and then he gets behind the wheel and muscles my car back to the dealership. I'm stunned how it seemed effortless to him, but he's got arms like Popeye. 7 So as we're driving back, Darryl says he's going to recommend an aftermarket belt. I can't quite understand whether it's hard to get one from Subaru or he's saving me money and I'm not really interesting in saving money, I want it to be right, and then he tells me it's the same manufacturer with the same warranty, okay. And then we pull right into the service area, like I'm royalty, and they lift the hood and Darryl looks and says he's going to order the part right away, and he's going to recommend an A/C belt too. I saw all this as a good sign, he didn't even talk about trashing the car, which he would have if the repair bill was gonna be too big. And we b.s. for a minute or two and then I leave. I'm stunned that it was taken care of so fast. Hopefully the repair will be that speedy too, Subaru is on a tear, they're backed up and overworked there. 8 So what did we learn? That even though I did have some anxiety, it doesn't pay to worry, everything does work out. And when I got back home, now getting caught up in the traffic going back into the city, I'm telling Felice all this and she asks me..."How much would the bill have to be before you buy a new car?" I say three thousand dollars. I mean you don't want to be stupid. And you don't want to throw good money after bad. I mean there comes a time when a car gets so old that everything starts to break, one by one. But people in L.A. drive their cars for two or three hundred thousand miles. There's no rust. My physical therapist's husband's Honda is well over three hundred thousand. But you need dependability. You can't worry that your car won't start or the windshield wipers won't work. That's what happened with my last car. There was an intermittent electrical problem that they couldn't diagnose, and one of the symptoms was that if it occurred, the windshield wipers wouldn't work. So if it started to mist, never mind rain...would I be able to make it to the Universal Amphitheatre and back? But the Universal Amphitheatre no longer exists, and I don't have that car anymore, but I should have called it a day six months and a couple of thousand dollars sooner. CODA: On the drive back home I heard the Kinks' "Sunny Afternoon" on the sixties channel. It's one of my favorites. I quote it all the time, the line "give me two good reasons why I ought to stay"...I always ask people to give me two instead of one. And I'm thinking how Ray Davies is just singing about his life and I realize I can too. I just did. -- Visit the archive: http://lefsetz.com/wordpress/ -- Listen to the podcast: -iHeart: https://ihr.fm/2Gi5PFj -Apple: https://apple.co/2ndmpvp -- http://www.twitter.com/lefsetz -- If you would like to subscribe to the LefsetzLetter, http://www.lefsetz.com/lists/?p=subscribe&id=1 If you do not want to receive any more LefsetzLetters, http://lefsetz.com/lists/?p=unsubscribe&uid=0eecea7b60b461717065cbde887c8e25 To change your email address http://lefsetz.com/lists/?p=preferences&uid=0eecea7b60b461717065cbde887c8e25