If you can't sing, you'd better be able to write.
And if you can't write, you'd better be able to sing.
And you're best off if you can do both.
I'm constantly scratching my head, wondering what is going on in the brains of these people who send me their material. Forget production, when the vocal comes in and it sounds like the singer might just qualify for the high school Glee Club, I'm flummoxed. Do these people truly expect virality?
Maybe you're living in olden times. Where you believe it's about publicity. Maybe you think a media outlet can make you a star.
But that's just not true anymore.
I read the "New York Times" religiously. I've never ever checked out a record after reading about it in the paper. They review records incessantly. But where are they coming from? In an era of media overload, I'm only interested in trusted filters. And when it comes to music, the "New York Times" is not one of mine. Which I'm sure blows the writers' minds. Because once upon a time the paper DICTATED! If you weren't reviewed in the newspaper, it's like your gig didn't happen. Now, the last place you'd go to find out about a gig is the paper, because the writer is just not aligned with you, the fan. We don't want to know what an independent observer thought about the gig, but what a FAN did!
That's what the Internet is, clusters of fans.
And to jump from cluster to cluster is almost impossible.
Kind of like this Bowie album...
Let's not talk about its quality. Let's leave that out of the equation. Once upon a time, if radio and MTV played Bowie, he had a hit. But now no radio station with any power plays Bowie music and MTV died and the only people who care are diehard fans.
It's an old wave marketing campaign for a new album.
But it's not only albums, it's books too. It's seemingly everything in our society. It comes, and it goes. And you get to the point where unless you're truly devoted, you tune out. I gave up reading the movie reviews every Friday. Do you see how many flicks are released? You couldn't see them all even if you wanted to! To a great extent, I've stopped going completely. But if I do attend, it's as a result of consensus, when everybody says something is good, especially my peers.
So don't look out, look in.
Do you have any fans?
If not, you're going to find it very hard going.
How do you get fans?
Not by dunning them. That's old school. They're overloaded. You reach fans by being insanely great.
Once upon a time the above was not true. There was a limited amount of recorded music and you made it by convincing the gatekeeper, the radio station, the promoter, to exhibit you. Now there's a seemingly infinite amount of music and you can listen to it everywhere. Do you really expect me to focus on something mediocre?
I want what grabs me instantly.
Or what my network tells me is worth my time.
Network television hasn't gotten the memo. It's clear from cable that you create an edgy show, believe in it, and wait for the word to spread, which could take YEARS! If you're trying to please everybody, instantly, you almost always fail.
Wall Street may not play for the long term.
But in the arts, that's all we've got left.
For all the complaining about TV talent shows, no one kicks back and admits that they're all but meaningless in the music sphere. They're about ratings, commercials, not creating stars. There's Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood and...and...and...huh?
Computers may have eviscerated complete industries, but in the arts, we're like cobblers. Dedicated to our craft for life. Dependent on being fantastic and word of mouth. Do you think anybody in Los Angeles cares about your fantastic shoe guy in Boston? Then why do you think they care about your mediocre band?
But don't get depressed.
You're probably great at something.
But it probably isn't music.
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Saturday 2 March 2013
Friday 1 March 2013
More Information
I'm a researcher.
Let me give you the latest example...
My headphones broke. You know, the connection, by the plug, so that one ear goes in and out. In the seventies, you'd get this fixed. Today, it costs more to repair than to rebuy, and the art of repair seems to have gone by the wayside, craftsmanship is neither taught nor expected. Come on, aren't you stunned when your auto mechanic actually fixes the problem? If he does, you tell everybody you know about him, you're loath to switch brands for fear of losing him.
Bottom line, I need a new pair of Sennheisers.
Don't get the wrong idea. These are my out and about headphones, they cost thirty-odd dollars.
But they no longer sell the same model.
There's one that looks the same, and costs the same, but if you go on Amazon you'd be stunned at the complaints. You see they're just not LOUD enough! Other sounds creep in. And that's a no-go.
But you won't learn this on the Sennheiser site.
And the vaunted headphone.com doesn't sell this model.
What do I do know?
We're all looking for more information. But we live in a withholding, gotcha culture. None could be worse than the record business. Wherein we let you hear one song on the radio, and if you like that you can buy ten more, unheard, for fifteen bucks. That was the CD paradigm. Sound outdated? You bet. Today no one other than a diehard fan is going to purchase an album without hearing most of it first. They'll just buy the single, and move on.
We want more information. That we can trust.
But no one is providing this. Because they believe that sales is more important than marketing. Because they oftentimes don't believe in the product itself.
And that's key. Especially in music. Great sales and marketing will never help a lame song. To break through the clutter your material almost has to sell itself.
But you can't get anybody to admit this. Which is one of the reasons music is such a turnoff. Everybody's beholden to something other than the truth. Labels are beholden to the corporate board. Radio is beholden to advertisers. And acts are delusional. Which is why we depend upon our friends. Because we can trust no one else.
But what if there was a trustworthy source...
Long after midnight I found this article in the "New York Times" about marketing and selling pools:
"A Revolutionary Marketing Strategy: Answer Customers' Questions": http://nyti.ms/YdH7rX
This guy Marcus Sheridan's fiberglass pool company hit the skids in the recession. It went from selling six pools a month to barely two. He cut his $250k a year marketing budget by ninety percent and started to blog.
And sales shot back up.
Did Marcus Sheridan stand on a rooftop and say his was the best pool company out there?
OF COURSE NOT!
He ranked his competitors. Gave them kudos. Didn't even mention his own company.
But Marcus smiled on the inside. Because he knew he owned the customer, because the customer was surfing on his site.
I'll buy from Amazon even if it's not the lowest price. I trust them. I know third parties using the site will always come through, they're afraid of getting blasted in the ratings. Amazon owns me.
Marcus Sheridan owns the pool business.
Yup, Google anything about pools, and his site comes up. Through a sheer plethora of information.
As for social networks?
HE DOESN'T BELIEVE IN THEM!
Just because it's the latest and the greatest, that doesn't mean it works.
"Q. Once you wrote a blog post, how much time did you spend promoting it on Twitter and Facebook?
A. I didn't. Dude, that one article on price has never been tweeted. It's never been Facebooked. I'm not saying social media doesn't help, but it's nowhere near what people think. The only metric that really matters is total pages viewed. Here's a statistic for you: If somebody reads 30 pages of my River Pools Web site, and we go on a sales appointment, they buy 80 percent of the time. The industry average for sales appointments is 10 percent. So, our whole marketing campaign revolves around getting people to stick around and read our stuff, because the longer they stay on our site, the greater the chance they're going to fall in love with our company."
I love anybody who is willing to question the conventional wisdom. That's what endeared me to Marcus Sheridan. Most people follow the herd, they do dumb marketing. Marcus is all about being smart.
And now he's become a consultant.
Hell, I'm savvy enough to know that this article didn't appear on the "Times" by itself, via luck. Marcus is working it. And that makes me question the veracity of his vision. Still, what he says rings true, because I WANT INFORMATION!
Trusted information.
Truthful information.
If you hype your own band, I don't care.
But if someone unconnected to you does, I'm interested.
And if that someone keeps telling me about good stuff, I trust them.
But almost no one adheres to the above rules. Self-promoters are rampant. Recommenders don't ask themselves if I'D like it. I get that THEY like it, but they read me, they know my taste...how come they think I'D like this?
So I went to Marcus's website, http://www.riverpoolsandspas.com
I was stunned at the amount of information provided. You could fall down the rabbit hole and have no time to swim.
And then I clicked through to http://www.thesaleslion.com, Marcus's consultancy site.
And was confronted with this:
"10 Reasons Why Employees SHOULD be Required to Participate in Blogging and Content Marketing"
Read it.
And you'll change your corporate philosophy.
Imagine if everybody at Universal Music blogged. That would do more to sell recordings than just about anything else, especially if the writers talked about music they liked on other labels, to build their credibility. But the vaunted Lucian Grainge is not net-savvy. As for Doug Morris...he believes in radio. Something I never ever listen to, I'm done with terrestrial, I just can't handle the formatted playlists and the commercials. In other words, Doug is preaching to a dwindling audience. As for the outliers, soon to be the mainstream...IGNORE THEM!
Huh?
I don't know a single person who doesn't use Google.
It's the Go-To of life. Whether you're researching old girlfriends, movie times or wanna buy something.
As for music...
If you don't want to know more about it and the people who made it, you're not a fan.
Today you have to know how to write. How to communicate. You must establish trust as opposed to banging people on the head to buy.
It's the opposite of everything we've been taught in the music business.
But it's a brand new day.
P.S. The Sennheiser headphones I own, that broke, are the PMX 60. The replacement model, that they're complaining about on Amazon, is the PMX 90.
Research tells me I can switch to Polk or Grado. But they look bulkier.
I'm honestly thinking of overpaying a scalper for the old model. I know what it is, that it works. I want to waste neither time nor money. I'm staying with the trusted source. Everybody's reluctant to switch. But getting them into your corner to begin with? That takes more than yelling, more than convincing, it takes honesty and openness.
P.P.S. Read the negative reviews of the PMX 90 here: http://amzn.to/14bdmsD
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Let me give you the latest example...
My headphones broke. You know, the connection, by the plug, so that one ear goes in and out. In the seventies, you'd get this fixed. Today, it costs more to repair than to rebuy, and the art of repair seems to have gone by the wayside, craftsmanship is neither taught nor expected. Come on, aren't you stunned when your auto mechanic actually fixes the problem? If he does, you tell everybody you know about him, you're loath to switch brands for fear of losing him.
Bottom line, I need a new pair of Sennheisers.
Don't get the wrong idea. These are my out and about headphones, they cost thirty-odd dollars.
But they no longer sell the same model.
There's one that looks the same, and costs the same, but if you go on Amazon you'd be stunned at the complaints. You see they're just not LOUD enough! Other sounds creep in. And that's a no-go.
But you won't learn this on the Sennheiser site.
And the vaunted headphone.com doesn't sell this model.
What do I do know?
We're all looking for more information. But we live in a withholding, gotcha culture. None could be worse than the record business. Wherein we let you hear one song on the radio, and if you like that you can buy ten more, unheard, for fifteen bucks. That was the CD paradigm. Sound outdated? You bet. Today no one other than a diehard fan is going to purchase an album without hearing most of it first. They'll just buy the single, and move on.
We want more information. That we can trust.
But no one is providing this. Because they believe that sales is more important than marketing. Because they oftentimes don't believe in the product itself.
And that's key. Especially in music. Great sales and marketing will never help a lame song. To break through the clutter your material almost has to sell itself.
But you can't get anybody to admit this. Which is one of the reasons music is such a turnoff. Everybody's beholden to something other than the truth. Labels are beholden to the corporate board. Radio is beholden to advertisers. And acts are delusional. Which is why we depend upon our friends. Because we can trust no one else.
But what if there was a trustworthy source...
Long after midnight I found this article in the "New York Times" about marketing and selling pools:
"A Revolutionary Marketing Strategy: Answer Customers' Questions": http://nyti.ms/YdH7rX
This guy Marcus Sheridan's fiberglass pool company hit the skids in the recession. It went from selling six pools a month to barely two. He cut his $250k a year marketing budget by ninety percent and started to blog.
And sales shot back up.
Did Marcus Sheridan stand on a rooftop and say his was the best pool company out there?
OF COURSE NOT!
He ranked his competitors. Gave them kudos. Didn't even mention his own company.
But Marcus smiled on the inside. Because he knew he owned the customer, because the customer was surfing on his site.
I'll buy from Amazon even if it's not the lowest price. I trust them. I know third parties using the site will always come through, they're afraid of getting blasted in the ratings. Amazon owns me.
Marcus Sheridan owns the pool business.
Yup, Google anything about pools, and his site comes up. Through a sheer plethora of information.
As for social networks?
HE DOESN'T BELIEVE IN THEM!
Just because it's the latest and the greatest, that doesn't mean it works.
"Q. Once you wrote a blog post, how much time did you spend promoting it on Twitter and Facebook?
A. I didn't. Dude, that one article on price has never been tweeted. It's never been Facebooked. I'm not saying social media doesn't help, but it's nowhere near what people think. The only metric that really matters is total pages viewed. Here's a statistic for you: If somebody reads 30 pages of my River Pools Web site, and we go on a sales appointment, they buy 80 percent of the time. The industry average for sales appointments is 10 percent. So, our whole marketing campaign revolves around getting people to stick around and read our stuff, because the longer they stay on our site, the greater the chance they're going to fall in love with our company."
I love anybody who is willing to question the conventional wisdom. That's what endeared me to Marcus Sheridan. Most people follow the herd, they do dumb marketing. Marcus is all about being smart.
And now he's become a consultant.
Hell, I'm savvy enough to know that this article didn't appear on the "Times" by itself, via luck. Marcus is working it. And that makes me question the veracity of his vision. Still, what he says rings true, because I WANT INFORMATION!
Trusted information.
Truthful information.
If you hype your own band, I don't care.
But if someone unconnected to you does, I'm interested.
And if that someone keeps telling me about good stuff, I trust them.
But almost no one adheres to the above rules. Self-promoters are rampant. Recommenders don't ask themselves if I'D like it. I get that THEY like it, but they read me, they know my taste...how come they think I'D like this?
So I went to Marcus's website, http://www.riverpoolsandspas.com
I was stunned at the amount of information provided. You could fall down the rabbit hole and have no time to swim.
And then I clicked through to http://www.thesaleslion.com, Marcus's consultancy site.
And was confronted with this:
"10 Reasons Why Employees SHOULD be Required to Participate in Blogging and Content Marketing"
Read it.
And you'll change your corporate philosophy.
Imagine if everybody at Universal Music blogged. That would do more to sell recordings than just about anything else, especially if the writers talked about music they liked on other labels, to build their credibility. But the vaunted Lucian Grainge is not net-savvy. As for Doug Morris...he believes in radio. Something I never ever listen to, I'm done with terrestrial, I just can't handle the formatted playlists and the commercials. In other words, Doug is preaching to a dwindling audience. As for the outliers, soon to be the mainstream...IGNORE THEM!
Huh?
I don't know a single person who doesn't use Google.
It's the Go-To of life. Whether you're researching old girlfriends, movie times or wanna buy something.
As for music...
If you don't want to know more about it and the people who made it, you're not a fan.
Today you have to know how to write. How to communicate. You must establish trust as opposed to banging people on the head to buy.
It's the opposite of everything we've been taught in the music business.
But it's a brand new day.
P.S. The Sennheiser headphones I own, that broke, are the PMX 60. The replacement model, that they're complaining about on Amazon, is the PMX 90.
Research tells me I can switch to Polk or Grado. But they look bulkier.
I'm honestly thinking of overpaying a scalper for the old model. I know what it is, that it works. I want to waste neither time nor money. I'm staying with the trusted source. Everybody's reluctant to switch. But getting them into your corner to begin with? That takes more than yelling, more than convincing, it takes honesty and openness.
P.P.S. Read the negative reviews of the PMX 90 here: http://amzn.to/14bdmsD
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Rhinofy-Poco-The Forgotten Trail
And now "The Forgotten Trail" has been forgotten.
The initial Poco album is a veritable classic. Its only flaws were being a bit too country and lacking an obvious hit single. Then again, back then a hit single wasn't necessary for FM radio play. But despite playing Crosby, Stills & Nash, country was pooh-poohed. The Burrito Brothers got no airplay. And yes, they spun "Uncle John's Band," but not "Mama Tried."
Then the band fell apart.
Randy Meisner left for the Eagles.
Jim Messina became a record producer and ended up as one half of a much more successful group, Loggins & Messina.
And eventually, even Richie Furay departed, for the ill-fated Souther Hillman Furay Band, which promptly went gold with its debut, and imploded shortly thereafter.
But what was left of Poco continued on. Eventually changed labels. And suddenly started to have hits.
Hell, let's start with those latter-day records, because they too have been forgotten.
Let's start with "Keep On Tryin'," from "Head Over Heels," their debut for ABC Records, home of Joe Walsh and Steely Dan and via distribution, Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers.
"I've been thinkin' 'bout
All the times you told me
You're so full of doubt
You just can't let it be
But I know
If you keep on comin' back for more
Then I keep on tryin'
Keep on tryin'"
It's all about trying.
But that's not what makes this track so delicious, so great. It's the definitive Timothy B. Schmit statement. It's as if angels visited your stereo. Yes, listen on vinyl and you'll truly feel like Timothy B. is channeling God.
Then there's "Heart Of The Night."
I actually saw the Illinois Speed Press at the Fillmore, before Paul Cotton broke up the group to join the ill-fated Poco.
Still, this is the man's apotheosis.
"In the heart of the night
In the cool southern rain
There's a full moon in sight
Shinin' down on the Ponchartrain"
THE PONCHARTRAIN!
Flying into New Orleans that's all I could think of. That's the power of music, that's the power of song. "Heart Of The Night" has got a languid, irresistible groove, you can listen to it ad infinitum (but you'll still be playing "Keep On Tryin'" even longer!)
Which brings us to "I Can See Everything." Originally appearing on "A Good Feelin' To Know."
At this point I'd given up. I'd bought four albums, and they kept getting worse.
But hearing the remix of "I Can See Everything" on "The Forgotten Trail" made me turn my head, I couldn't stop playing it in its CD iteration.
It's Timothy B.'s vocal. All breathy and ethereal...
"If it seems to you that I am fading..."
What if you put your heart and your soul into your work and you created a smash and it didn't break through?
It was different from today. Where it's almost impossible to get traction. Poco had a major label deal. They'd done the road work. Had a presence. Yet almost no one cared.
But nearly twenty years later I was enraptured. When I got the double album retrospective "The Forgotten Trail." Sure, I liked hearing the songs I loved from the debut and "Hurry Up" from the follow-up. But what stunned me was the stuff I'd overlooked, that I didn't own, that I'd listened to and discarded...the way it now infected me.
Which brings us to..."From The Inside."
I'd bought this album. Hell, the band had played my college. I was gonna give it another go.
And forty years later, it's stunning how good "From The Inside" is. It's just that the band was in transition. Half Richie and half Paul Cotton with a bit of Timothy B. in between. I liked the old sound better, I liked the Jim Messina sensibility. Only when Richie left and the band absconded to ABC could they fully own that they were something different, could the public finally embrace them.
And I'm not sure this remix of the title track off "From The Inside" would light up the chart today, but it's so satisfying! The changes, the vocals...these are professionals at work, not amateurs with GarageBand. When he sneaks in...
"And I'm talking it over from the inside...
IT'S A HOOK!
Then there's the epic "Crazy Eyes" from the follow-up. It's nearly ten minutes long. In an era when we accepted that stuff. And decades removed, taken for its music only, not as an attempt at a statement, not as an attempt to break through, "Crazy Eyes" resonates. Oh, listen to that banjo... Back when it was important to get the sound right, before everything was compressed for CD and listened to as an MP3 on earbuds...
And the more famous cuts are on the first of this two CD package. If you were a fan, you know them all. But I want to single out the above-mentioned "Hurry Up." Once again, for the sound. It's exuberant, you can't be in a bad mood listening to it. It brightens up your life, dropping the needle on this opening cut of Poco's second LP always made my college day.
If you know nothing about Poco, you'll be blown away by the above listed cuts. But I'm not sure you'll want to go a whole hell of a lot deeper.
But if you were ever a fan, you'll find "The Forgotten Trail" a treasure trove.
It's stunning listening to this music. How much time, effort and skill were expended in getting it right. When you missed back then, it wasn't by much. Whereas everybody seems to be shooting with broken arrows today. There's so much amateur crap, stuff that's close to unlistenable or truly is. Whereas if you were in someone's dorm room, at their house, and they dropped the needle on a Poco album, you'd never tell them to take it off.
And you wouldn't bother to ask them what it was.
Because you knew.
Everybody knew Poco.
But they lacked that ubiquitous track.
But decades later, when hits have faded into the rearview mirror and all that's left is the work, you'll be stunned how much the music on "The Forgotten Trail" resonates.
Spotify link: http://spoti.fi/p6HcZ8
Previous Rhinofy playlists: http://www.rhinofy.com/lefsetz
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The initial Poco album is a veritable classic. Its only flaws were being a bit too country and lacking an obvious hit single. Then again, back then a hit single wasn't necessary for FM radio play. But despite playing Crosby, Stills & Nash, country was pooh-poohed. The Burrito Brothers got no airplay. And yes, they spun "Uncle John's Band," but not "Mama Tried."
Then the band fell apart.
Randy Meisner left for the Eagles.
Jim Messina became a record producer and ended up as one half of a much more successful group, Loggins & Messina.
And eventually, even Richie Furay departed, for the ill-fated Souther Hillman Furay Band, which promptly went gold with its debut, and imploded shortly thereafter.
But what was left of Poco continued on. Eventually changed labels. And suddenly started to have hits.
Hell, let's start with those latter-day records, because they too have been forgotten.
Let's start with "Keep On Tryin'," from "Head Over Heels," their debut for ABC Records, home of Joe Walsh and Steely Dan and via distribution, Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers.
"I've been thinkin' 'bout
All the times you told me
You're so full of doubt
You just can't let it be
But I know
If you keep on comin' back for more
Then I keep on tryin'
Keep on tryin'"
It's all about trying.
But that's not what makes this track so delicious, so great. It's the definitive Timothy B. Schmit statement. It's as if angels visited your stereo. Yes, listen on vinyl and you'll truly feel like Timothy B. is channeling God.
Then there's "Heart Of The Night."
I actually saw the Illinois Speed Press at the Fillmore, before Paul Cotton broke up the group to join the ill-fated Poco.
Still, this is the man's apotheosis.
"In the heart of the night
In the cool southern rain
There's a full moon in sight
Shinin' down on the Ponchartrain"
THE PONCHARTRAIN!
Flying into New Orleans that's all I could think of. That's the power of music, that's the power of song. "Heart Of The Night" has got a languid, irresistible groove, you can listen to it ad infinitum (but you'll still be playing "Keep On Tryin'" even longer!)
Which brings us to "I Can See Everything." Originally appearing on "A Good Feelin' To Know."
At this point I'd given up. I'd bought four albums, and they kept getting worse.
But hearing the remix of "I Can See Everything" on "The Forgotten Trail" made me turn my head, I couldn't stop playing it in its CD iteration.
It's Timothy B.'s vocal. All breathy and ethereal...
"If it seems to you that I am fading..."
What if you put your heart and your soul into your work and you created a smash and it didn't break through?
It was different from today. Where it's almost impossible to get traction. Poco had a major label deal. They'd done the road work. Had a presence. Yet almost no one cared.
But nearly twenty years later I was enraptured. When I got the double album retrospective "The Forgotten Trail." Sure, I liked hearing the songs I loved from the debut and "Hurry Up" from the follow-up. But what stunned me was the stuff I'd overlooked, that I didn't own, that I'd listened to and discarded...the way it now infected me.
Which brings us to..."From The Inside."
I'd bought this album. Hell, the band had played my college. I was gonna give it another go.
And forty years later, it's stunning how good "From The Inside" is. It's just that the band was in transition. Half Richie and half Paul Cotton with a bit of Timothy B. in between. I liked the old sound better, I liked the Jim Messina sensibility. Only when Richie left and the band absconded to ABC could they fully own that they were something different, could the public finally embrace them.
And I'm not sure this remix of the title track off "From The Inside" would light up the chart today, but it's so satisfying! The changes, the vocals...these are professionals at work, not amateurs with GarageBand. When he sneaks in...
"And I'm talking it over from the inside...
IT'S A HOOK!
Then there's the epic "Crazy Eyes" from the follow-up. It's nearly ten minutes long. In an era when we accepted that stuff. And decades removed, taken for its music only, not as an attempt at a statement, not as an attempt to break through, "Crazy Eyes" resonates. Oh, listen to that banjo... Back when it was important to get the sound right, before everything was compressed for CD and listened to as an MP3 on earbuds...
And the more famous cuts are on the first of this two CD package. If you were a fan, you know them all. But I want to single out the above-mentioned "Hurry Up." Once again, for the sound. It's exuberant, you can't be in a bad mood listening to it. It brightens up your life, dropping the needle on this opening cut of Poco's second LP always made my college day.
If you know nothing about Poco, you'll be blown away by the above listed cuts. But I'm not sure you'll want to go a whole hell of a lot deeper.
But if you were ever a fan, you'll find "The Forgotten Trail" a treasure trove.
It's stunning listening to this music. How much time, effort and skill were expended in getting it right. When you missed back then, it wasn't by much. Whereas everybody seems to be shooting with broken arrows today. There's so much amateur crap, stuff that's close to unlistenable or truly is. Whereas if you were in someone's dorm room, at their house, and they dropped the needle on a Poco album, you'd never tell them to take it off.
And you wouldn't bother to ask them what it was.
Because you knew.
Everybody knew Poco.
But they lacked that ubiquitous track.
But decades later, when hits have faded into the rearview mirror and all that's left is the work, you'll be stunned how much the music on "The Forgotten Trail" resonates.
Spotify link: http://spoti.fi/p6HcZ8
Previous Rhinofy playlists: http://www.rhinofy.com/lefsetz
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Thursday 28 February 2013
The Information Age
It's about what you know.
Because Tina Brown is hopelessly lost in the last century, she buried the most important story of the year, putting it behind a paywall in the initial digital edition of "Newsweek." "Eunuchs of the Universe: Tom Wolfe on Wall Street Today" is not the besuited writer's best work. The introduction is poor and you're not sure where he's headed, and then...Mr. Wolfe reveals the essence of today's Wall Street. That it's no longer about Masters of the Universe, but geeks, with computers...and speed.
Let's get this straight. Algorithms are important. But even more so is the speed within which their results can be executed. Let me make this perfectly clear. If you're trading from Kansas, you just can't compete with someone in New York City. It takes too long for your message to get through.
So there's been an arms race in communication. Fiber optics. Straight pathway. Tower to tower communication as opposed to underground, because data flows faster above ground.
And you know nothing about this.
But it's hiding in plain sight.
If you'd just get off of Facebook and YouTube and read.
Now the stock market has always run on speed. Back to when Reuters used carrier pigeons. And what is being transmitted quickly is information. And the rest of the world, including the entertainment business, has run on speedy information forever.
Prior to the Internet era, an entertainment titan would make in excess of a hundred phone calls a day. Do you think he was making deals? No, he was learning things. Extracting information that would help him proceed.
Now most of this information is available to everyone.
You've just got to do the work.
It's not only music distribution that's been toppled, something the titans had within their iron grip, but all kinds of information has been democratized, has been shaken free. There's more than anybody can digest, but you'd better get crackin'.
Want to be poor?
Be ignorant.
I see it every damn day. Whether it be the underclass voting for lower income taxes when they don't pay any or the person who saves $100 and buys an iPhone 4S instead of a 5, not realizing for a hundred bucks more, they'd get LTE, which is the difference between surfing the net on a tractor as opposed to a Ferrari.
And it makes a difference.
What you know, how fast you know it, is your advantage.
The Tom Wolfe article is now online. But it's essentially meaningless. Because the publicity occurred when it was behind a paywall and virality was stunted.
But now Radiolab has done the story.
Everything you think you know about trading is wrong. It's not men on the floor, it's quants in suburbs executing trades much faster than you can blink your eyes making tiny sums over and over again. Only the punter goes for the big win. The professional is all about the edge, the margin, finding what is mispriced and going in for the kill.
Have you got the time for this?
Probably not. You're sitting at home consuming Kesha, dreaming of striking it big yourself. Not realizing this crap is for consumers, who are ignorant but drive the economy. While the fat cats, those in the know, reap the rewards.
We have a winner and loser society because of information, not taxes. We've got an educated class and a dumb one. We've got schools that teach business as opposed to how to think. The populace believes a degree is the key to success. No, that's just an entry ticket. Information and analysis is the way you succeed. If you're not going to an educational institution that teaches you how to think, you're wasting your money, you're going to a glorified paper mill. You've got a degree, then what!
But the media has snookered you. Told you you can't succeed without said sheepskin. You've been diverted from the truth. Which is it's now every man for himself, and who you know is important, but what you know is what truly counts.
And almost everything you need to know is available for free, online.
Sure, you've got to dig deep in your area of interest.
But you've got to be a generalist too, in order to figure out how it all fits together.
And I believed my enterprise, my newsletter, was about reaching out.
But even more important than that is the feedback loop. I can't know everything. I didn't know that that coding video was advertised all over Facebook, driving views. My readers told me that.
Yes, I've established a Grand Central of information. If you say you talked to me on the phone, you're lying. Because I almost never do. Maybe one business call every other week. Usually to an oldster who is not net-savvy. You see just like the Wall Street traders I know it's about speed. I haven't got the time to waste on the phone, where you take twenty minutes to talk sports, kiss my butt and then ask for the favor. Let me know in an e-mail, instantly.
As for self-promoters? I ignore them. Completely. It's meaningless. Google ranks results based on links. If you've got none, I know you're not happening. That you're going nowhere. You think it's about the marketing economy, when we live in the information economy. Can I see the bread crumbs of your information on the net and follow the trail back to your work?
If you want to win at this game, and most don't, they're not shooting that high, they don't want to work that hard, you've got to be reading all day long. You're looking for an edge, that no one else has.
The baby boomers are already toast. Who else would waste all that time at lunch?
I'm not saying it's fair, I'm just saying it is.
It's not about pay or free. It's not about piracy.
It's about information.
What's the story behind the story?
Used to be only the fat cats knew.
Now you can too.
Tom Wolfe article: http://thebea.st/VzwaAX
Radiolab podcast (fast-forward to 22:00 to hear about Wall Street trading speed): http://www.radiolab.org/2013/feb/05/
"It Takes a B.A. to Find a Job as a File Clerk": http://nyti.ms/VuLzm7
"Pop Star's Single, 'Booty Wave', Most Likely Civilization's Downfall": http://bit.ly/vmWYdm
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Because Tina Brown is hopelessly lost in the last century, she buried the most important story of the year, putting it behind a paywall in the initial digital edition of "Newsweek." "Eunuchs of the Universe: Tom Wolfe on Wall Street Today" is not the besuited writer's best work. The introduction is poor and you're not sure where he's headed, and then...Mr. Wolfe reveals the essence of today's Wall Street. That it's no longer about Masters of the Universe, but geeks, with computers...and speed.
Let's get this straight. Algorithms are important. But even more so is the speed within which their results can be executed. Let me make this perfectly clear. If you're trading from Kansas, you just can't compete with someone in New York City. It takes too long for your message to get through.
So there's been an arms race in communication. Fiber optics. Straight pathway. Tower to tower communication as opposed to underground, because data flows faster above ground.
And you know nothing about this.
But it's hiding in plain sight.
If you'd just get off of Facebook and YouTube and read.
Now the stock market has always run on speed. Back to when Reuters used carrier pigeons. And what is being transmitted quickly is information. And the rest of the world, including the entertainment business, has run on speedy information forever.
Prior to the Internet era, an entertainment titan would make in excess of a hundred phone calls a day. Do you think he was making deals? No, he was learning things. Extracting information that would help him proceed.
Now most of this information is available to everyone.
You've just got to do the work.
It's not only music distribution that's been toppled, something the titans had within their iron grip, but all kinds of information has been democratized, has been shaken free. There's more than anybody can digest, but you'd better get crackin'.
Want to be poor?
Be ignorant.
I see it every damn day. Whether it be the underclass voting for lower income taxes when they don't pay any or the person who saves $100 and buys an iPhone 4S instead of a 5, not realizing for a hundred bucks more, they'd get LTE, which is the difference between surfing the net on a tractor as opposed to a Ferrari.
And it makes a difference.
What you know, how fast you know it, is your advantage.
The Tom Wolfe article is now online. But it's essentially meaningless. Because the publicity occurred when it was behind a paywall and virality was stunted.
But now Radiolab has done the story.
Everything you think you know about trading is wrong. It's not men on the floor, it's quants in suburbs executing trades much faster than you can blink your eyes making tiny sums over and over again. Only the punter goes for the big win. The professional is all about the edge, the margin, finding what is mispriced and going in for the kill.
Have you got the time for this?
Probably not. You're sitting at home consuming Kesha, dreaming of striking it big yourself. Not realizing this crap is for consumers, who are ignorant but drive the economy. While the fat cats, those in the know, reap the rewards.
We have a winner and loser society because of information, not taxes. We've got an educated class and a dumb one. We've got schools that teach business as opposed to how to think. The populace believes a degree is the key to success. No, that's just an entry ticket. Information and analysis is the way you succeed. If you're not going to an educational institution that teaches you how to think, you're wasting your money, you're going to a glorified paper mill. You've got a degree, then what!
But the media has snookered you. Told you you can't succeed without said sheepskin. You've been diverted from the truth. Which is it's now every man for himself, and who you know is important, but what you know is what truly counts.
And almost everything you need to know is available for free, online.
Sure, you've got to dig deep in your area of interest.
But you've got to be a generalist too, in order to figure out how it all fits together.
And I believed my enterprise, my newsletter, was about reaching out.
But even more important than that is the feedback loop. I can't know everything. I didn't know that that coding video was advertised all over Facebook, driving views. My readers told me that.
Yes, I've established a Grand Central of information. If you say you talked to me on the phone, you're lying. Because I almost never do. Maybe one business call every other week. Usually to an oldster who is not net-savvy. You see just like the Wall Street traders I know it's about speed. I haven't got the time to waste on the phone, where you take twenty minutes to talk sports, kiss my butt and then ask for the favor. Let me know in an e-mail, instantly.
As for self-promoters? I ignore them. Completely. It's meaningless. Google ranks results based on links. If you've got none, I know you're not happening. That you're going nowhere. You think it's about the marketing economy, when we live in the information economy. Can I see the bread crumbs of your information on the net and follow the trail back to your work?
If you want to win at this game, and most don't, they're not shooting that high, they don't want to work that hard, you've got to be reading all day long. You're looking for an edge, that no one else has.
The baby boomers are already toast. Who else would waste all that time at lunch?
I'm not saying it's fair, I'm just saying it is.
It's not about pay or free. It's not about piracy.
It's about information.
What's the story behind the story?
Used to be only the fat cats knew.
Now you can too.
Tom Wolfe article: http://thebea.st/VzwaAX
Radiolab podcast (fast-forward to 22:00 to hear about Wall Street trading speed): http://www.radiolab.org/2013/feb/05/
"It Takes a B.A. to Find a Job as a File Clerk": http://nyti.ms/VuLzm7
"Pop Star's Single, 'Booty Wave', Most Likely Civilization's Downfall": http://bit.ly/vmWYdm
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Wednesday 27 February 2013
Clip Of The Day
"What most schools don't teach": http://bit.ly/XDxeBJ
Now this clip isn't riveting, you don't sit on the edge of your seat fearful it's going to end.
But when you see the women who started businesses because they learned how to code... When you see the Silicon Valley lifestyle, the working environment with free lunch and free dry-cleaning and a room to play with your band... You say I WANT SOME OF THAT!
That's what's being missed in all the coverage of entertainment and sports. The smart revolution. The point is made if you want a job in entertainment and sports today, never mind tomorrow, you'd better know how to code. Because these are data-driven enterprises. Data saved the Oakland A's.
And the clip does something no amount of charity or publicity has achieved...it humanizes Mark Zuckerberg. Makes him seem like the guy down the street, who you'd enjoy a pizza with, as opposed to an aloof autism victim with no sense of right or wrong.
And the guy who invented Valve... He's like the rock stars of yore. What kind of bizarre world do we live in where the rock stars wear three piece suits, dress up in the latest fashions, and the coders get to wear hoodies and comfortable clothing?
One in which what is on the inside truly counts.
And that's rarely the case in music anymore.
What's inside Rihanna?
NOUGAT!
There's certainly no intelligence, no critical thinking, hell, the songs are written by a factory of faceless people. She's just a front.
But these coders are the real thing.
Even will.i.am is learning to code.
And Troy Carter is investing in tech. Not only because that's where the money is, but the sky's the limit and it's exciting.
Everybody in America wants a free lunch. And I'm willing to give it to them, but not much more. I believe in the public safety net, but that's it. You're not guaranteed acclaim, fame and success. Hell, go on the reality TV show. Unless you're a financial wizard you'll be broke and forgotten in a matter of years, a joke.
But none of the coders in this clip are a joke.
You look up to them.
It's clips like these that inspire you.
The same way watching the Beatles on "Ed Sullivan" inspired baby boomers.
And the Beatles were self-taught.
Just like Mark Zuckerberg. He was so thrilled by computing, by coding, that he dug deeper.
All the greats are self-taught. Because of raw inspiration and desire. They haven't got time for you because they're so busy pursuing their dream.
Right now, coders are changing the world.
Rock stars are not.
And that's upside down.
But if you watch this clip you'll understand. Because coders are everything rock stars are not. They're smart, personable, and they do it their own way.
Yup, the rock star paradigm is old and tired. It was invented fifty years ago, had a good ten year run, was propped up by MTV and has had lemmings all over it ever since. It's like being a fan of hula-hoops, or advocating the excellence of typewriters. It's passe.
What's the future of music?
Excellence.
Now, more than ever, if you can read music and you've practiced ad infinitum you've got a chance of succeeding.
And if you're bitching about opportunity and piracy, you've lost the plot. These techies created their own business, so should you.
But if I were a teenager today, if I just graduated from college, the thought of coming to Hollywood to pursue a career in the entertainment field would never cross my mind.
I'd go to Silicon Valley. I'd pursue tech.
Watch this clip and you'll know why.
You want to know these people, you want some of their action.
But there's a bar. You've got to know how to code. To build.
Marketing comes last.
I can't. I'm being left behind.
You shouldn't be.
P.S. This clip has 1,647,817 views, and it was put up yesterday. You think virality is about bells and whistles. No, it's about soul, it's about being more than skin deep, it's about making people think.
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Now this clip isn't riveting, you don't sit on the edge of your seat fearful it's going to end.
But when you see the women who started businesses because they learned how to code... When you see the Silicon Valley lifestyle, the working environment with free lunch and free dry-cleaning and a room to play with your band... You say I WANT SOME OF THAT!
That's what's being missed in all the coverage of entertainment and sports. The smart revolution. The point is made if you want a job in entertainment and sports today, never mind tomorrow, you'd better know how to code. Because these are data-driven enterprises. Data saved the Oakland A's.
And the clip does something no amount of charity or publicity has achieved...it humanizes Mark Zuckerberg. Makes him seem like the guy down the street, who you'd enjoy a pizza with, as opposed to an aloof autism victim with no sense of right or wrong.
And the guy who invented Valve... He's like the rock stars of yore. What kind of bizarre world do we live in where the rock stars wear three piece suits, dress up in the latest fashions, and the coders get to wear hoodies and comfortable clothing?
One in which what is on the inside truly counts.
And that's rarely the case in music anymore.
What's inside Rihanna?
NOUGAT!
There's certainly no intelligence, no critical thinking, hell, the songs are written by a factory of faceless people. She's just a front.
But these coders are the real thing.
Even will.i.am is learning to code.
And Troy Carter is investing in tech. Not only because that's where the money is, but the sky's the limit and it's exciting.
Everybody in America wants a free lunch. And I'm willing to give it to them, but not much more. I believe in the public safety net, but that's it. You're not guaranteed acclaim, fame and success. Hell, go on the reality TV show. Unless you're a financial wizard you'll be broke and forgotten in a matter of years, a joke.
But none of the coders in this clip are a joke.
You look up to them.
It's clips like these that inspire you.
The same way watching the Beatles on "Ed Sullivan" inspired baby boomers.
And the Beatles were self-taught.
Just like Mark Zuckerberg. He was so thrilled by computing, by coding, that he dug deeper.
All the greats are self-taught. Because of raw inspiration and desire. They haven't got time for you because they're so busy pursuing their dream.
Right now, coders are changing the world.
Rock stars are not.
And that's upside down.
But if you watch this clip you'll understand. Because coders are everything rock stars are not. They're smart, personable, and they do it their own way.
Yup, the rock star paradigm is old and tired. It was invented fifty years ago, had a good ten year run, was propped up by MTV and has had lemmings all over it ever since. It's like being a fan of hula-hoops, or advocating the excellence of typewriters. It's passe.
What's the future of music?
Excellence.
Now, more than ever, if you can read music and you've practiced ad infinitum you've got a chance of succeeding.
And if you're bitching about opportunity and piracy, you've lost the plot. These techies created their own business, so should you.
But if I were a teenager today, if I just graduated from college, the thought of coming to Hollywood to pursue a career in the entertainment field would never cross my mind.
I'd go to Silicon Valley. I'd pursue tech.
Watch this clip and you'll know why.
You want to know these people, you want some of their action.
But there's a bar. You've got to know how to code. To build.
Marketing comes last.
I can't. I'm being left behind.
You shouldn't be.
P.S. This clip has 1,647,817 views, and it was put up yesterday. You think virality is about bells and whistles. No, it's about soul, it's about being more than skin deep, it's about making people think.
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Tuesday 26 February 2013
J. Law's Backstage Speech
http://bit.ly/125AfSI
This is bouncing around the Internet burnishing Jennifer Lawrence's image while the Academy is home slapping its back for a miniscule ratings increase not admitting it has nothing to do with Seth MacFarlane or the show itself but good movies and the desire to play where everybody else is.
Water-cooler moments.
That's why Marissa Mayer is getting everybody to come back to work, inside the building. Turns out you can be really damn productive at home, but you're just not that innovative. While Sheryl Sandberg is out starting a religion, getting into touchy-feely world whilst alienating her core audience on her way to running for office, Marissa Mayer is looking at the books and realizing Yahoo is a disaster and is willing to do what's unpopular to right the ship.
Unlike the Academy.
End game today?
Death.
Just ask the L.A. "Times."
Wanna know why the "New York Times" is selling the "Boston Globe"? Because all news is national now. Of course we need local reporting, then again, the "New York Times" breaks more L.A. stories than the local paper, but the Internet has brought us all together. We only need one Google, one Amazon, one iTunes and maybe only a couple of major newsgathering organizations. Scary, I know. Then again, how much reporting and how accurate were the regional papers anyway? And there are scores of sites digging deep on all topics if you're truly interested.
And the point I'm making is if you think it's yesterday's world, you've already been left behind. Facebook has peaked and Turntable.fm has already died. Famous for a minute doesn't count. It's about the long haul.
Facebook established a paradigm. That we would never lose touch with anybody ever again, that everybody would be findable and reachable online. But we don't have to do it on Facebook. And it takes too much time to update your profile. And who wants everybody to know everything anyway. If you think Facebook is the future, you're still e-mailing jokes to your buddies on AOL. Times change, can you?
The Oscars are opaque. It's all image. In a world where we've got photographers on every corner, looking for faux pas. Wanna do something off the record? Then do it in the bathroom, in the dark, alone, otherwise it's open season, everything's up for grabs.
So Jennifer Lawrence wins an Oscar and instead of kissing butt for the inane press corps, asking questions so dumb and so rote they're not worth answering, she criticizes them and speaks the truth.
"What was the process of getting ready?"
I JUST WOKE UP AND TRIED ON THE DRESS AND IT FIT...
This along with the profanity and the comment about the inanity draws you in, the clip is magic, you want to watch it again, because this is a person you know, but she's talented and a star.
Everything you knew about being a star is toast.
1. Have Edges
They're the only things that can hook people. If you've rounded off all your edges and sanded off all your warts you may be pretty, but you're damn uninteresting.
2. Know Your Audience
It's not gatekeepers, it's the end user.
Movie-makers are so busy kissing the butt of distributors and marketers that they're missing the point. We know if a flick is a hit within hours of its release, oftentimes before, because of advance screenings. You've got a plethora of texters and tweeters spreading the word. Advertising is not what it once was. This clip already has more views than almost all late night television programs.
It's directly from your heart to theirs. Be real, and true, and more people want more of you.
3. Irreverence
Our whole nation is questioning authority, wondering why? If you're a true believer following the party line you're ignored. The way Jennifer pokes fun at the proceedings puts you on HER team as opposed to THEIRS!
4. Honesty
We know when you're telling the truth. So do so. Don't worry about alienating the vocal minority... That's what they are, a cadre of pissed-off people who don't care about you but want to weigh in so they can be heard. Yup, they need the attention, and by responding you give them what they want.
5. Hate
It goes with the territory. As good as Jennifer Lawrence is in this clip, she's still young, beautiful and rich. Not everybody likes that. So she's gonna be attacked. Accept it. People have felt this way forever, they just didn't have a way of expressing it, not in way you could hear. Life has become high school. With cliques and snark. Own it. Unlike the Academy. Which thinks it's above it all, when nothing could be further from the truth.
6. Don't Let Them Put You Down, Or In A Box
Defend yourself against the system. The old man asking if Jennifer thinks she's peaked too soon... Talk about raining on her parade... She just won! It's like putting a mic in front of someone who's dying and asking if they've got any regrets. It's not the time. And who cares about the answer anyway?
7. Don't Take Yourself Too Seriously
If you act above us, we're just going to be inspired to tear you down.
We're looking for viral moments. And now they're quantifiable. All YouTube clips have a counter. And, of course, the lame labels are trying to game the system, but not when it's news, not when it's an evanescent moment captured on tape. This clip will never have a billion views, but it'll have enough to help Jennifer Lawrence open her next movie.
And how did it happen?
By breaking all the rules.
Hell, the action's supposed to be on the screen, during the show!
But it's small, off-guard moments that end up winning.
What are we gonna remember about the Oscar telecast? Seth MacFarlane, boobs? Even Babs?
No.
We're gonna remember the mistakes, the honesty, the truth of this unscripted exchange.
It's all about being forward-worthy.
Think about that when you create. Is what you're doing so interesting that people are gonna want to tell others about it, without you imploring them to do so?
That's the magic you're looking for.
And it's got nothing to do with perfection, it's got very little to do with beauty.
It's got to do with humanity. Life. Insight into what it's like to be where Jennifer Lawrence is.
She won.
More than an Oscar.
The audience's heart.
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This is bouncing around the Internet burnishing Jennifer Lawrence's image while the Academy is home slapping its back for a miniscule ratings increase not admitting it has nothing to do with Seth MacFarlane or the show itself but good movies and the desire to play where everybody else is.
Water-cooler moments.
That's why Marissa Mayer is getting everybody to come back to work, inside the building. Turns out you can be really damn productive at home, but you're just not that innovative. While Sheryl Sandberg is out starting a religion, getting into touchy-feely world whilst alienating her core audience on her way to running for office, Marissa Mayer is looking at the books and realizing Yahoo is a disaster and is willing to do what's unpopular to right the ship.
Unlike the Academy.
End game today?
Death.
Just ask the L.A. "Times."
Wanna know why the "New York Times" is selling the "Boston Globe"? Because all news is national now. Of course we need local reporting, then again, the "New York Times" breaks more L.A. stories than the local paper, but the Internet has brought us all together. We only need one Google, one Amazon, one iTunes and maybe only a couple of major newsgathering organizations. Scary, I know. Then again, how much reporting and how accurate were the regional papers anyway? And there are scores of sites digging deep on all topics if you're truly interested.
And the point I'm making is if you think it's yesterday's world, you've already been left behind. Facebook has peaked and Turntable.fm has already died. Famous for a minute doesn't count. It's about the long haul.
Facebook established a paradigm. That we would never lose touch with anybody ever again, that everybody would be findable and reachable online. But we don't have to do it on Facebook. And it takes too much time to update your profile. And who wants everybody to know everything anyway. If you think Facebook is the future, you're still e-mailing jokes to your buddies on AOL. Times change, can you?
The Oscars are opaque. It's all image. In a world where we've got photographers on every corner, looking for faux pas. Wanna do something off the record? Then do it in the bathroom, in the dark, alone, otherwise it's open season, everything's up for grabs.
So Jennifer Lawrence wins an Oscar and instead of kissing butt for the inane press corps, asking questions so dumb and so rote they're not worth answering, she criticizes them and speaks the truth.
"What was the process of getting ready?"
I JUST WOKE UP AND TRIED ON THE DRESS AND IT FIT...
This along with the profanity and the comment about the inanity draws you in, the clip is magic, you want to watch it again, because this is a person you know, but she's talented and a star.
Everything you knew about being a star is toast.
1. Have Edges
They're the only things that can hook people. If you've rounded off all your edges and sanded off all your warts you may be pretty, but you're damn uninteresting.
2. Know Your Audience
It's not gatekeepers, it's the end user.
Movie-makers are so busy kissing the butt of distributors and marketers that they're missing the point. We know if a flick is a hit within hours of its release, oftentimes before, because of advance screenings. You've got a plethora of texters and tweeters spreading the word. Advertising is not what it once was. This clip already has more views than almost all late night television programs.
It's directly from your heart to theirs. Be real, and true, and more people want more of you.
3. Irreverence
Our whole nation is questioning authority, wondering why? If you're a true believer following the party line you're ignored. The way Jennifer pokes fun at the proceedings puts you on HER team as opposed to THEIRS!
4. Honesty
We know when you're telling the truth. So do so. Don't worry about alienating the vocal minority... That's what they are, a cadre of pissed-off people who don't care about you but want to weigh in so they can be heard. Yup, they need the attention, and by responding you give them what they want.
5. Hate
It goes with the territory. As good as Jennifer Lawrence is in this clip, she's still young, beautiful and rich. Not everybody likes that. So she's gonna be attacked. Accept it. People have felt this way forever, they just didn't have a way of expressing it, not in way you could hear. Life has become high school. With cliques and snark. Own it. Unlike the Academy. Which thinks it's above it all, when nothing could be further from the truth.
6. Don't Let Them Put You Down, Or In A Box
Defend yourself against the system. The old man asking if Jennifer thinks she's peaked too soon... Talk about raining on her parade... She just won! It's like putting a mic in front of someone who's dying and asking if they've got any regrets. It's not the time. And who cares about the answer anyway?
7. Don't Take Yourself Too Seriously
If you act above us, we're just going to be inspired to tear you down.
We're looking for viral moments. And now they're quantifiable. All YouTube clips have a counter. And, of course, the lame labels are trying to game the system, but not when it's news, not when it's an evanescent moment captured on tape. This clip will never have a billion views, but it'll have enough to help Jennifer Lawrence open her next movie.
And how did it happen?
By breaking all the rules.
Hell, the action's supposed to be on the screen, during the show!
But it's small, off-guard moments that end up winning.
What are we gonna remember about the Oscar telecast? Seth MacFarlane, boobs? Even Babs?
No.
We're gonna remember the mistakes, the honesty, the truth of this unscripted exchange.
It's all about being forward-worthy.
Think about that when you create. Is what you're doing so interesting that people are gonna want to tell others about it, without you imploring them to do so?
That's the magic you're looking for.
And it's got nothing to do with perfection, it's got very little to do with beauty.
It's got to do with humanity. Life. Insight into what it's like to be where Jennifer Lawrence is.
She won.
More than an Oscar.
The audience's heart.
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This Is Us-Real Live Roadrunning
http://spoti.fi/WdXB6v
Listen to that piano!
Yup, push the track to 4:13...AND HAVE YOUR MIND BLOWN!
This is why we go to the show, not to see the nitwits dance, not to see the fearful sing and play to tape, but to hear our favorite tracks just a little bit different, just a little bit off, just a little bit BETTER!
So I got stuck on "Prairie Wedding," and it reminded me of how much I loved "This Is Us." So I dialed up the 2006 Mark Knopfler/Emmylou Harris cut and I found out...I was just as hooked, just as enamored as I was when I first discovered it, way back then.
And then I found the live version!
Let me tell you how I do it. I go to Sonos, I make a playlist, and then I play it in all my zones, all over the house.
And recently I've switched to MOG, which has an insanely terrible interface, but sounds just a bit better than Spotify, which has an intuitive interface but an absolutely horrible search function, hell I searched for "Real Live Roadrunning" multiple times and it didn't appear, but today it did. Huh?
Anyway...
It's easy. You can do it on your computer. Or your iPhone. You just hit the Sonos app, choose a music service, search and create a playlist.
And this playlist contained...
"This Is Us" - the studio version
"This Is Us" - the live version
"Prairie Wedding"
"Prairie Wedding" - Kenny Rogers version
"See The Changes" - studio version
"See The Changes" - live take from Wolfgang's Vault
And eventually...
"Calling Elvis" - live take from Dire Straits' 1993 "On The Night"
That Kenny Rogers version of "Prairie Wedding" is pretty good. Once upon a time the playlist contained the Del McCoury take, but it didn't float my boat.
As for "Calling Elvis"... I saw Dire Straits at the Forum back in 1991, in support of "On Every Street," and this was the highlight, the opening cut from that album.
So I've got five Sonos zones. One is to the stereo, which I rarely employ, because it's too much of a pain in the ass to fire it up, the rest of the zones are plugged in and ready to go at all times. There's one in the kitchen. One in the bedroom. One by my computer. And one that fires directly into the bathroom, where I do some of my best reading.
And for a week straight, I listened to this playlist. Incessantly. It made me feel good.
Ever think you're over music? That the Top Ten doesn't resonate and the indie stuff is just too lo-fi and grating? I do. Too many wannabes following bad trends to places I just don't care about.
And then I hear "This Is Us."
The lyrics are great.
But what captures you is the music. It's a veritable TEAR!
You can't sit on the couch. You can't help but move. It's like an invisible hand lifts you and forces you to dance.
And I love the studio version.
But the live take is just slightly imperfect. It breathes. It lives. And, as a result, SO DO I!
You see I'm doing my back exercises, I'm walking around the house, and I'm constantly pulling out my iPhone, to dial up the live take of "This Is Us" once again.
We've lost the plot. We still think it's about charts, about money.
But it isn't, it's about MUSIC!
This is something the baby boomers know. Which is why they overpay to see the stars of yore. Ask young 'uns, and you find out music is disposable, grease for the event, something to laugh at and discard. But for baby boomers, music is life itself. Because they remember when music drove the culture, ruled the earth.
And they're constantly looking for more. But they can't find it. Because Pandora suggests Journey when you plug in Jackson Browne and algorithms have no humanity.
I didn't want to watch TV, I didn't want to read, I just wanted to listen to "This Is Us."
I wanted to go to the show. I felt optimistic. Like life could work out.
I was who I once was, who I used to be.
And it's all because of this track made by a guy losing his hair and his band of unknowns along with a white-haired country singer.
You see it's the playing.
Hell, I'm jitterbugging in my chair right now!
Listen to Knopfler peel off those notes.
And then the whole thing breaks down at the aforementioned 4:13 and there's a piano part so subtle, so right, that it trumps Obama, "The New York Times" and all those right wing protesters who think if we just have less everybody will be happy.
No, that's WRONG!
We want more!
We want you to practice and play. We want no restrictions. We want you to titillate us. We want you to TRY!
It's been decades since I took piano lessons. But listening to the playing on "This Is Us" I want to do nothing so much as sit down at the keys and PLAY!
Not so you'll pay attention, but for the sheer enjoyment.
That's what music's supposed to be.
Not an assault, like Beyonce's appearance at the Super Bowl.
When done right, no dancing is necessary. Just playing. And singing.
And we need stars.
But even more we need the people behind them. The faceless minions, the journeymen who paid their dues when no one was watching so they could touch us when given their chance.
Listen to that piano part!
It's "Hansel & Gretel." It's a walk in the dark. It's rain on an autumn day. It's your love in your arms, the one who got away in your mind's eye. It's all of this and more.
THAT'S MUSIC!
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Listen to that piano!
Yup, push the track to 4:13...AND HAVE YOUR MIND BLOWN!
This is why we go to the show, not to see the nitwits dance, not to see the fearful sing and play to tape, but to hear our favorite tracks just a little bit different, just a little bit off, just a little bit BETTER!
So I got stuck on "Prairie Wedding," and it reminded me of how much I loved "This Is Us." So I dialed up the 2006 Mark Knopfler/Emmylou Harris cut and I found out...I was just as hooked, just as enamored as I was when I first discovered it, way back then.
And then I found the live version!
Let me tell you how I do it. I go to Sonos, I make a playlist, and then I play it in all my zones, all over the house.
And recently I've switched to MOG, which has an insanely terrible interface, but sounds just a bit better than Spotify, which has an intuitive interface but an absolutely horrible search function, hell I searched for "Real Live Roadrunning" multiple times and it didn't appear, but today it did. Huh?
Anyway...
It's easy. You can do it on your computer. Or your iPhone. You just hit the Sonos app, choose a music service, search and create a playlist.
And this playlist contained...
"This Is Us" - the studio version
"This Is Us" - the live version
"Prairie Wedding"
"Prairie Wedding" - Kenny Rogers version
"See The Changes" - studio version
"See The Changes" - live take from Wolfgang's Vault
And eventually...
"Calling Elvis" - live take from Dire Straits' 1993 "On The Night"
That Kenny Rogers version of "Prairie Wedding" is pretty good. Once upon a time the playlist contained the Del McCoury take, but it didn't float my boat.
As for "Calling Elvis"... I saw Dire Straits at the Forum back in 1991, in support of "On Every Street," and this was the highlight, the opening cut from that album.
So I've got five Sonos zones. One is to the stereo, which I rarely employ, because it's too much of a pain in the ass to fire it up, the rest of the zones are plugged in and ready to go at all times. There's one in the kitchen. One in the bedroom. One by my computer. And one that fires directly into the bathroom, where I do some of my best reading.
And for a week straight, I listened to this playlist. Incessantly. It made me feel good.
Ever think you're over music? That the Top Ten doesn't resonate and the indie stuff is just too lo-fi and grating? I do. Too many wannabes following bad trends to places I just don't care about.
And then I hear "This Is Us."
The lyrics are great.
But what captures you is the music. It's a veritable TEAR!
You can't sit on the couch. You can't help but move. It's like an invisible hand lifts you and forces you to dance.
And I love the studio version.
But the live take is just slightly imperfect. It breathes. It lives. And, as a result, SO DO I!
You see I'm doing my back exercises, I'm walking around the house, and I'm constantly pulling out my iPhone, to dial up the live take of "This Is Us" once again.
We've lost the plot. We still think it's about charts, about money.
But it isn't, it's about MUSIC!
This is something the baby boomers know. Which is why they overpay to see the stars of yore. Ask young 'uns, and you find out music is disposable, grease for the event, something to laugh at and discard. But for baby boomers, music is life itself. Because they remember when music drove the culture, ruled the earth.
And they're constantly looking for more. But they can't find it. Because Pandora suggests Journey when you plug in Jackson Browne and algorithms have no humanity.
I didn't want to watch TV, I didn't want to read, I just wanted to listen to "This Is Us."
I wanted to go to the show. I felt optimistic. Like life could work out.
I was who I once was, who I used to be.
And it's all because of this track made by a guy losing his hair and his band of unknowns along with a white-haired country singer.
You see it's the playing.
Hell, I'm jitterbugging in my chair right now!
Listen to Knopfler peel off those notes.
And then the whole thing breaks down at the aforementioned 4:13 and there's a piano part so subtle, so right, that it trumps Obama, "The New York Times" and all those right wing protesters who think if we just have less everybody will be happy.
No, that's WRONG!
We want more!
We want you to practice and play. We want no restrictions. We want you to titillate us. We want you to TRY!
It's been decades since I took piano lessons. But listening to the playing on "This Is Us" I want to do nothing so much as sit down at the keys and PLAY!
Not so you'll pay attention, but for the sheer enjoyment.
That's what music's supposed to be.
Not an assault, like Beyonce's appearance at the Super Bowl.
When done right, no dancing is necessary. Just playing. And singing.
And we need stars.
But even more we need the people behind them. The faceless minions, the journeymen who paid their dues when no one was watching so they could touch us when given their chance.
Listen to that piano part!
It's "Hansel & Gretel." It's a walk in the dark. It's rain on an autumn day. It's your love in your arms, the one who got away in your mind's eye. It's all of this and more.
THAT'S MUSIC!
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Monday 25 February 2013
The Sound City Movie
http://bit.ly/ZFfmw4
"She was that kind of lady
Times are hard"
Desperation and desire. The key elements to rock stardom.
And Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham had both.
"She's back in town
And she's looking around"
From Phoenix to San Francisco to Hollywood.
That's where you had to end up. You could start anywhere. But if you wanted to make it, you had to come to L.A. And what you found there surprised you. No city center. No three piece suits. Just a bunch of suburbanites just like you. And in the hallowed halls of recording studios, in the darkness, was where not only the sound of America was created, but the world. There was magic in studios. But it really didn't begin until the band plugged in and started to play.
And from the hinterlands to Sound City was a very long journey. As AC/DC once sang, it's a long way to the top if you want to rock and roll.
But not anymore. Five year olds can wail on their iPads. Record in GarageBand and then their parents can implore the rest of us to buy the production on iTunes. We're inundated with dreck. And the ultimate desire is to get rich.
That used to be the byproduct. The goal was to REACH EVERYBODY!
Yup, you could be recording in an industrial park, but if you got it right people could be singing your song not only next week, but forevermore. Chances were slim. As were opportunities. So you made the most of them. You only had one shot...to change the world...and your life.
It's not about technology, but people. In the almost unwatchable last third of this movie Trent Reznor, Josh Homme and Dave Grohl create music utterly riveting. With one hand on his laptop, Trent's not worried about the tech, but the sound. It always comes down to the sound.
And the songs.
Without both, you've got nothing.
We knew what Sound City was. Because we read the credits. More than once. They were not in tiny CD type, they were big, in the center of the gatefold, on the inner sleeve. We not only knew the studios, but the guitar strings. Everything about the musicians and their music, because the music touched us, because it changed our lives.
And it hasn't been that way in a very long time.
Because everybody's not shooting high enough. They don't need it enough. There wasn't a single person in Dave Grohl's studio telling him all that new material sucked, from Stevie Nicks to Lee Ving to Paul McCartney. Looked like they were having fun, but you don't want to hear a single song ever again.
Then there's "Lithium."
Nirvana was hungry. They had to get it right. The songs didn't need to be good, they needed to be great. And some things never change. If you're still that great, everybody will know. And if not, you're in an endless circle jerk thinking that everybody cares, when they don't.
So you can skip the first few minutes. Until Dave pulls up at the studio.
And they tell the story of Buckingham Nicks and Fleetwood Mac.
Ooh, brings chills.
Mick Fleetwood is looking for a cheap studio.
And Keith Olsen pulls up the Buckingham Nicks album. Recorded there. At Sound City.
Do you know "Crying In The Night"?
Check it out here: http://bit.ly/K9jOpI
It's the best Fleetwood Mac song you've never heard. Better than anything the band has done since "Rumours." But because musicians are insane and their own worst enemies, it and the album it came from has never been released on CD. Even though the vinyl record populated baby boomers' dorm rooms back in the seventies, when they bought that first Fleetwood Mac album with Stevie and Lindsey and needed MORE!
And when the sound comes out of the speakers, you TINGLE! Because it's the essence. Music played by people who NEED IT! Buckingham and Nicks were always gonna break through, because they were never gonna give up. That's what it takes, more than talent, PERSEVERANCE! You pay your dues, you get kicked around, and if you hang around long enough you make it.
You've got to be playing so long you get lucky.
And Buckingham and Nicks do. They're picked up and rescued by Mick Fleetwood and the rest of the Mac. Look at the photos. They were so young, so skinny, so CUTE!
They were our rock stars.
Like Tom Petty and his Heartbreakers. Who were known by everybody BEFORE "Damn The Torpedoes" and "Refugee." It's not about everybody knowing your name, but a track so indelible they've got to play it again and again, that they can't forget.
And yes, these tracks were all cut on the Neve.
But they would have been hits if they were cut ANYWHERE!
Don't forget, the even bigger "Rumours" was cut up north, at the Record Plant. Studios aren't everything.
But people are.
It was a different era. We were all paying attention. And if you got it right, you were as big and rich as anybody in the world. And you only answered to yourself. THAT'S why everybody wanted to be a rock star, the FREEDOM!
And it was hard work.
But it was worth it.
But then MTV made it more about looks than music. And the Internet blew the system apart. And if you don't think this is a good thing, you're never going to make it.
We need more documentaries like this. That illustrate how it once was. It's like discovering a Dead Sea Scroll.
The arc is bad. It's two movies in one. The story of a studio and the story of a board. Great moviemakers, like great writers, know it can only be about one thing. Add too much, even if it's great on its own, and you muddy the waters, you ruin it. An expert knows sometimes you've got to leave the best things out.
But when they show what it was like back in the seventies, with the girls and the dope and the hope, all tied together by the music, you just want to crank it.
And you realize you can't make it. That it's only the special few who deserve our accolades.
And this movie features more than one.
And when the soundtrack blasts, you say THAT'S IT!
P.S. The "Sound City" movie is totally free at the above link. Not sure if that was Dave's intention or a programming glitch, but put on your headphones and ENJOY!
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"She was that kind of lady
Times are hard"
Desperation and desire. The key elements to rock stardom.
And Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham had both.
"She's back in town
And she's looking around"
From Phoenix to San Francisco to Hollywood.
That's where you had to end up. You could start anywhere. But if you wanted to make it, you had to come to L.A. And what you found there surprised you. No city center. No three piece suits. Just a bunch of suburbanites just like you. And in the hallowed halls of recording studios, in the darkness, was where not only the sound of America was created, but the world. There was magic in studios. But it really didn't begin until the band plugged in and started to play.
And from the hinterlands to Sound City was a very long journey. As AC/DC once sang, it's a long way to the top if you want to rock and roll.
But not anymore. Five year olds can wail on their iPads. Record in GarageBand and then their parents can implore the rest of us to buy the production on iTunes. We're inundated with dreck. And the ultimate desire is to get rich.
That used to be the byproduct. The goal was to REACH EVERYBODY!
Yup, you could be recording in an industrial park, but if you got it right people could be singing your song not only next week, but forevermore. Chances were slim. As were opportunities. So you made the most of them. You only had one shot...to change the world...and your life.
It's not about technology, but people. In the almost unwatchable last third of this movie Trent Reznor, Josh Homme and Dave Grohl create music utterly riveting. With one hand on his laptop, Trent's not worried about the tech, but the sound. It always comes down to the sound.
And the songs.
Without both, you've got nothing.
We knew what Sound City was. Because we read the credits. More than once. They were not in tiny CD type, they were big, in the center of the gatefold, on the inner sleeve. We not only knew the studios, but the guitar strings. Everything about the musicians and their music, because the music touched us, because it changed our lives.
And it hasn't been that way in a very long time.
Because everybody's not shooting high enough. They don't need it enough. There wasn't a single person in Dave Grohl's studio telling him all that new material sucked, from Stevie Nicks to Lee Ving to Paul McCartney. Looked like they were having fun, but you don't want to hear a single song ever again.
Then there's "Lithium."
Nirvana was hungry. They had to get it right. The songs didn't need to be good, they needed to be great. And some things never change. If you're still that great, everybody will know. And if not, you're in an endless circle jerk thinking that everybody cares, when they don't.
So you can skip the first few minutes. Until Dave pulls up at the studio.
And they tell the story of Buckingham Nicks and Fleetwood Mac.
Ooh, brings chills.
Mick Fleetwood is looking for a cheap studio.
And Keith Olsen pulls up the Buckingham Nicks album. Recorded there. At Sound City.
Do you know "Crying In The Night"?
Check it out here: http://bit.ly/K9jOpI
It's the best Fleetwood Mac song you've never heard. Better than anything the band has done since "Rumours." But because musicians are insane and their own worst enemies, it and the album it came from has never been released on CD. Even though the vinyl record populated baby boomers' dorm rooms back in the seventies, when they bought that first Fleetwood Mac album with Stevie and Lindsey and needed MORE!
And when the sound comes out of the speakers, you TINGLE! Because it's the essence. Music played by people who NEED IT! Buckingham and Nicks were always gonna break through, because they were never gonna give up. That's what it takes, more than talent, PERSEVERANCE! You pay your dues, you get kicked around, and if you hang around long enough you make it.
You've got to be playing so long you get lucky.
And Buckingham and Nicks do. They're picked up and rescued by Mick Fleetwood and the rest of the Mac. Look at the photos. They were so young, so skinny, so CUTE!
They were our rock stars.
Like Tom Petty and his Heartbreakers. Who were known by everybody BEFORE "Damn The Torpedoes" and "Refugee." It's not about everybody knowing your name, but a track so indelible they've got to play it again and again, that they can't forget.
And yes, these tracks were all cut on the Neve.
But they would have been hits if they were cut ANYWHERE!
Don't forget, the even bigger "Rumours" was cut up north, at the Record Plant. Studios aren't everything.
But people are.
It was a different era. We were all paying attention. And if you got it right, you were as big and rich as anybody in the world. And you only answered to yourself. THAT'S why everybody wanted to be a rock star, the FREEDOM!
And it was hard work.
But it was worth it.
But then MTV made it more about looks than music. And the Internet blew the system apart. And if you don't think this is a good thing, you're never going to make it.
We need more documentaries like this. That illustrate how it once was. It's like discovering a Dead Sea Scroll.
The arc is bad. It's two movies in one. The story of a studio and the story of a board. Great moviemakers, like great writers, know it can only be about one thing. Add too much, even if it's great on its own, and you muddy the waters, you ruin it. An expert knows sometimes you've got to leave the best things out.
But when they show what it was like back in the seventies, with the girls and the dope and the hope, all tied together by the music, you just want to crank it.
And you realize you can't make it. That it's only the special few who deserve our accolades.
And this movie features more than one.
And when the soundtrack blasts, you say THAT'S IT!
P.S. The "Sound City" movie is totally free at the above link. Not sure if that was Dave's intention or a programming glitch, but put on your headphones and ENJOY!
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The Oscar Show
It's about the awards, STUPID!
What kind of crazy, messed up world do we live in where the Golden Globes are better than the Oscars?
One in which the foreign press knows that its trophies are meaningless and does its best to focus on stars and faux pas. The Golden Globes is sold as a night with your favorite stars, down home and personal, if you can remember who won, you're Pia Zadora's progeny.
Last night's Oscar telecast was riddled with so much irrelevance, so much tripe, so much FILLER that the only reason to watch it was to snark about it on Twitter.
The movie people just don't get it... We're making fun of you!
Movies, when done right, are larger than life. Music, when done right, is life itself.
Mmm... Let me think about this. I care about these actors because...
I DON'T!
Check the statistics. It's musicians with the most Twitter followers. Because they've got something to say. From Jennifer Lawrence to Jennifer Aniston, from Robert DeNiro to Bradley Cooper, are we really interested in what any of these two-dimensional nitwits has to say? Are they the ones lighting up Twitter? OF COURSE NOT!
The Academy just doesn't get it. That it's now a target for our scorn, not our love.
1. Everybody Can't Do Everything
Are these people really in show business? Because this is rule number one. Just because you won a gold medal, that does not mean you can host a morning television show. Just because you concocted a successful movie and a long-running animated TV series, that does not mean you're any good at hosting an international television broadcast. GET A COMEDIAN! SOMEONE WHO DOES THIS EVERY NIGHT! WHO INTERACTS WITH A LIVE AUDIENCE! To see Seth MacFarlane read from the TelePrompTer was painful. I'm not saying I'd be any better, then again, I don't do this and they're not asking me!
2. The Intro Counts
The Grammys get Taylor Swift, the biggest star in America. The Oscars gets Seth MacFarlane endlessly blabbering in bad skits? It was like having to sit through your daughter's Christmas play. You know you're in trouble when you're trumped by Captain Kirk. And let's get this straight, "Star Trek" is a TV phenomenon, right? Isn't this like having Francis Ford Coppola open the Emmys?
3. Don't Try To Appeal To Everybody
No edge, no success. This show was consumable by eight year olds, who didn't watch because the movies they like weren't nominated. Listen to the Top Ten and then write the show. In a world where everybody knows the truth and says it, the Oscar telecast was hermetically sealed, beamed to us from the last century, as if we cared.
4. Production Numbers
If you thought the endless "Chicago" to "Les Miz" singing clusterf**k was good, you're probably aspiring to Broadway and at dance class right now. The day of the movie musical is dead. The fact that every now and again one emerges to triumph does not mean most people are interested. This is like Metallica doing a singer-songwriter tribute in the middle of its show, with harmonies on "Fire and Rain" and a tribute to Dan Fogelberg's "Leader Of The Band." Huh? A tiny segment of the audience cares about this stuff. No one cares about it at this length.
5. Adele
Get a pro. The biggest star in the world. And bury her voice in overproduction and bad mixing. Next time hire the guy who won the Oscar for sound editing to do this job. Adele was the highlight of the night until everybody but the kitchen sink came in and drowned her out. What's next, an audience sing-along with Celine Dion? If you've got a star, let her perform. Adele and a piano was enough. But in the world of movies, enough is never enough.
6. Shirley Bassey
Now THAT'S movie-making. "Goldfinger." Wowing us in the theatre. What "Zero Dark Thirty" delivered and was killed by congresspeople and the media. Torture, shmorture. It's about being riveted in the theatre. If you think movies are real, you probably believe Kim Kardashian hasn't had plastic surgery. It's about the experience. "Goldfinger" was one of the best. The new Bond doesn't compare. And Shirley Bassey brought some of the glamour back. Sure, her voice was subpar, but she didn't seem to know this.
7. Don't Honor That Which You Don't
Why a music theme for the show when music in movies is so bad they often can't even get five nominees, when we haven't heard of most of the songs? This is like the Grammys honoring classical. Hey, did you notice they no longer do that anymore on the Grammy telecast? Because it's a big TUNE-OUT!
8. Good Awards At The End
Why? So the east coast people can feel ripped off, after they've gone to bed?
Spread them throughout the show. To at least keep it interesting.
9. The Audience
Musicians thank their fans. Actors thank their agents. Who do you think keeps this business alive? All those people you're thanking that no one knows... Lean into the mic and thank the people who bought the tickets!
10. Speeches
There wasn't a memorable one last night. Not even Quentin Tarantino succeeded. Adele revealed some of her personality/magic, but in a world where people stand up and speak for a living, not one person could come up with something insightful to say?
11. "Singers sing, winners don't get to talk."
That's a tweet from the "Washington Post." That's it in a nutshell. We want to see these nutcases. We don't care about the show.
12. More Movies
More clips, more "In Memoriam," more packages. It's a TV show, make it interesting TV.
Wanna fix the Oscar telecast?
Make it irreverent. Make it a party. Make us feel like we're seeing these stars in their natural habitat, as opposed to glammed-up for the tabloids.
Enough with the nitwits asking questions. Kristin Chenoweth should be shot at dawn. The pre-game was so inane, it was entirely laughable. If you can't ask a pithy question, then don't. Listening to one Howard Stern interview is better than anything I heard from the red carpet last night. Yup, make Howard the pre-game host. It's a better fit for him than "America's Got Talent." Who are these people? How much money do they make? Who are they sleeping with? If Howard Stern can make Brandi Glanville fascinating, imagine what he can do for these movie stars.
Get a comedian to host. Every year. Just like Bob Hope. It's not about being good, it's about moving the show along. Get someone who knows failure, who can read an audience. Who plays for laughs as opposed to honoring those in attendance.
Focus on clips as opposed to reenactments.
Allow the winners to ramble.
Come down off the pedestal and face today's reality, that we're all in it together. That the stars are no better than us.
It's like the Oscars never heard of the Internet.
How about a fan favorite Oscar? Voted for during the live telecast? That'll get young 'uns more interested than nominating nine movies instead of five.
And how about a live tweet crawl at the bottom of the screen.
Here are some gems from last night...
"It's 11 p.m. and Barbara Streisand has taken the stage. Who else on the East Coast is going to bed? # Oscars"
Ed O'Keefe
"Why work so hard to become famous and then make ur self unrecognizable?"
Bill Maher
"Halley berry is 47. When are we gonna stop saying she looks great and start saying, 'what the f*** is going on, this is terrifying."
Jessi Klein
"Can't believe Adele didn't sing any of her songs from hairspray."
Chris Rock
"Time for Bueller to come out. 'You're still here? It's over. Go home. Go." RT@Lefsetz: It's over. Don't they know?"
Joseph Pettini
And the piece de resistance...
"@Lefsetz sorry...for the rest of us...who is she?"
KJ Campbell
That's in reference to Shirley Bassey.
Yes, "Goldfinger" was fifty years ago. Before most of the Oscar viewers were born. But the producers and writers of this show think it was yesterday. And that's fine if you don't care about alienating your audience, but if you care...
The Grammys did a rethink. They realized it's not your father's music business anymore. That by nominating bad records by has-beens it was doing itself a disservice. The Grammys became a television show, because no one cares about the awards anyway.
That's all we care about with the Oscars, who wins. But the victories are interspersed with so much detritus we at home can't help but groan. It's like watching a reenactment of the sinking of the Titanic.
Cars don't look like they did fifty years ago. And they're much safer and don't break down. Why do we keep getting Grandpa's Oscar show?
Damned if I know.
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What kind of crazy, messed up world do we live in where the Golden Globes are better than the Oscars?
One in which the foreign press knows that its trophies are meaningless and does its best to focus on stars and faux pas. The Golden Globes is sold as a night with your favorite stars, down home and personal, if you can remember who won, you're Pia Zadora's progeny.
Last night's Oscar telecast was riddled with so much irrelevance, so much tripe, so much FILLER that the only reason to watch it was to snark about it on Twitter.
The movie people just don't get it... We're making fun of you!
Movies, when done right, are larger than life. Music, when done right, is life itself.
Mmm... Let me think about this. I care about these actors because...
I DON'T!
Check the statistics. It's musicians with the most Twitter followers. Because they've got something to say. From Jennifer Lawrence to Jennifer Aniston, from Robert DeNiro to Bradley Cooper, are we really interested in what any of these two-dimensional nitwits has to say? Are they the ones lighting up Twitter? OF COURSE NOT!
The Academy just doesn't get it. That it's now a target for our scorn, not our love.
1. Everybody Can't Do Everything
Are these people really in show business? Because this is rule number one. Just because you won a gold medal, that does not mean you can host a morning television show. Just because you concocted a successful movie and a long-running animated TV series, that does not mean you're any good at hosting an international television broadcast. GET A COMEDIAN! SOMEONE WHO DOES THIS EVERY NIGHT! WHO INTERACTS WITH A LIVE AUDIENCE! To see Seth MacFarlane read from the TelePrompTer was painful. I'm not saying I'd be any better, then again, I don't do this and they're not asking me!
2. The Intro Counts
The Grammys get Taylor Swift, the biggest star in America. The Oscars gets Seth MacFarlane endlessly blabbering in bad skits? It was like having to sit through your daughter's Christmas play. You know you're in trouble when you're trumped by Captain Kirk. And let's get this straight, "Star Trek" is a TV phenomenon, right? Isn't this like having Francis Ford Coppola open the Emmys?
3. Don't Try To Appeal To Everybody
No edge, no success. This show was consumable by eight year olds, who didn't watch because the movies they like weren't nominated. Listen to the Top Ten and then write the show. In a world where everybody knows the truth and says it, the Oscar telecast was hermetically sealed, beamed to us from the last century, as if we cared.
4. Production Numbers
If you thought the endless "Chicago" to "Les Miz" singing clusterf**k was good, you're probably aspiring to Broadway and at dance class right now. The day of the movie musical is dead. The fact that every now and again one emerges to triumph does not mean most people are interested. This is like Metallica doing a singer-songwriter tribute in the middle of its show, with harmonies on "Fire and Rain" and a tribute to Dan Fogelberg's "Leader Of The Band." Huh? A tiny segment of the audience cares about this stuff. No one cares about it at this length.
5. Adele
Get a pro. The biggest star in the world. And bury her voice in overproduction and bad mixing. Next time hire the guy who won the Oscar for sound editing to do this job. Adele was the highlight of the night until everybody but the kitchen sink came in and drowned her out. What's next, an audience sing-along with Celine Dion? If you've got a star, let her perform. Adele and a piano was enough. But in the world of movies, enough is never enough.
6. Shirley Bassey
Now THAT'S movie-making. "Goldfinger." Wowing us in the theatre. What "Zero Dark Thirty" delivered and was killed by congresspeople and the media. Torture, shmorture. It's about being riveted in the theatre. If you think movies are real, you probably believe Kim Kardashian hasn't had plastic surgery. It's about the experience. "Goldfinger" was one of the best. The new Bond doesn't compare. And Shirley Bassey brought some of the glamour back. Sure, her voice was subpar, but she didn't seem to know this.
7. Don't Honor That Which You Don't
Why a music theme for the show when music in movies is so bad they often can't even get five nominees, when we haven't heard of most of the songs? This is like the Grammys honoring classical. Hey, did you notice they no longer do that anymore on the Grammy telecast? Because it's a big TUNE-OUT!
8. Good Awards At The End
Why? So the east coast people can feel ripped off, after they've gone to bed?
Spread them throughout the show. To at least keep it interesting.
9. The Audience
Musicians thank their fans. Actors thank their agents. Who do you think keeps this business alive? All those people you're thanking that no one knows... Lean into the mic and thank the people who bought the tickets!
10. Speeches
There wasn't a memorable one last night. Not even Quentin Tarantino succeeded. Adele revealed some of her personality/magic, but in a world where people stand up and speak for a living, not one person could come up with something insightful to say?
11. "Singers sing, winners don't get to talk."
That's a tweet from the "Washington Post." That's it in a nutshell. We want to see these nutcases. We don't care about the show.
12. More Movies
More clips, more "In Memoriam," more packages. It's a TV show, make it interesting TV.
Wanna fix the Oscar telecast?
Make it irreverent. Make it a party. Make us feel like we're seeing these stars in their natural habitat, as opposed to glammed-up for the tabloids.
Enough with the nitwits asking questions. Kristin Chenoweth should be shot at dawn. The pre-game was so inane, it was entirely laughable. If you can't ask a pithy question, then don't. Listening to one Howard Stern interview is better than anything I heard from the red carpet last night. Yup, make Howard the pre-game host. It's a better fit for him than "America's Got Talent." Who are these people? How much money do they make? Who are they sleeping with? If Howard Stern can make Brandi Glanville fascinating, imagine what he can do for these movie stars.
Get a comedian to host. Every year. Just like Bob Hope. It's not about being good, it's about moving the show along. Get someone who knows failure, who can read an audience. Who plays for laughs as opposed to honoring those in attendance.
Focus on clips as opposed to reenactments.
Allow the winners to ramble.
Come down off the pedestal and face today's reality, that we're all in it together. That the stars are no better than us.
It's like the Oscars never heard of the Internet.
How about a fan favorite Oscar? Voted for during the live telecast? That'll get young 'uns more interested than nominating nine movies instead of five.
And how about a live tweet crawl at the bottom of the screen.
Here are some gems from last night...
"It's 11 p.m. and Barbara Streisand has taken the stage. Who else on the East Coast is going to bed? # Oscars"
Ed O'Keefe
"Why work so hard to become famous and then make ur self unrecognizable?"
Bill Maher
"Halley berry is 47. When are we gonna stop saying she looks great and start saying, 'what the f*** is going on, this is terrifying."
Jessi Klein
"Can't believe Adele didn't sing any of her songs from hairspray."
Chris Rock
"Time for Bueller to come out. 'You're still here? It's over. Go home. Go." RT@Lefsetz: It's over. Don't they know?"
Joseph Pettini
And the piece de resistance...
"@Lefsetz sorry...for the rest of us...who is she?"
KJ Campbell
That's in reference to Shirley Bassey.
Yes, "Goldfinger" was fifty years ago. Before most of the Oscar viewers were born. But the producers and writers of this show think it was yesterday. And that's fine if you don't care about alienating your audience, but if you care...
The Grammys did a rethink. They realized it's not your father's music business anymore. That by nominating bad records by has-beens it was doing itself a disservice. The Grammys became a television show, because no one cares about the awards anyway.
That's all we care about with the Oscars, who wins. But the victories are interspersed with so much detritus we at home can't help but groan. It's like watching a reenactment of the sinking of the Titanic.
Cars don't look like they did fifty years ago. And they're much safer and don't break down. Why do we keep getting Grandpa's Oscar show?
Damned if I know.
--
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