Saturday 31 August 2013

Chappelle In Hartford

It's the culture.

Oh, I know it was a long show. And the audience was mostly white. And that Chappelle has a history of being prickly, being nobody's "boy."

But that's exactly the point. In a culture where everybody's doing what's expected of them, trying to climb the economic ladder, those who question and say no, who listen to themselves as opposed to everybody else, not only triumph but are excoriated.

You see that's not how we like it. We're playing the game, and you should too.

Huh?

You know the game. Overpay for an education that's not focused on making you a better citizen but training you for a job you can't get. Bitching all the while that the system is stacked against you and if you can't pay lower taxes and ensure that no one gets in line ahead of you, you're gonna make a ruckus and vote some no-name nitwit into office to gum up the works.

And those who truly have money pay for influence. Via lobbyists. They make sure that they continue to win. If you think you can emerge victorious in America, go from the log cabin to the White House, you probably dream you can play in the NBA despite only being 5'6".

So, since the game is unwinnable, everybody in America has decided that they are a star. Whether it be those producing music in GarageBand and spamming everybody with an e-mail address or those who make YouTube videos for the ad revenue, despite being talent-free, everybody in America thinks they're not only equal to everybody else, but better!

You've got your look. Fashion is a bigger and more influential business than music. And you've got your piercings and tattoos, making yourself outre and unique. So when you go to the show, the concept of respecting and revering talent is completely out the window.

Forget about Chappelle. If you haven't been brought to your knees by people talking during the performance of anybody and everybody, you've never left your house. People believe if they bought a ticket, they're entitled to do whatever they want. Talk at the movies. Block your view. And if you ask them, even politely, to respect the rest of those in attendance, the blowback is deafening.

So are you surprised those who paid in Hartford considered themselves part of the show? The Governor of Arizona slights the President, do you really think some comedian is gonna get respect?

Sure, there's a history of heckling in comedy. But this is something different. Heckling used to be by drunks in clubs. Now it's way of life. I'm better than the person on stage. I've got a Facebook page!

Yup, there you have it.

But everybody is not equal, especially when it comes to the talent department. But the audience won't believe this. Because that would mean they're less than, and they can't fathom it. Everybody wants to be rich and famous and nobody wants to do the work. So even if you make it to the top, you're torn down.

If you haven't gotten hate mail/tweets online, you don't have an account. And I see no reason why celebrities should get their knickers in a twist about this, but what is interesting is it's always nobodies in their underwear who perpetrate these attacks. It makes them feel powerful.

And I'm not saying that everybody who is not rich, talented and beautiful should just STFU, but I am saying we pay to see these people because they've demonstrated that they are better than us at certain skills. And the only way the culture of respect is gonna grow is if the performers themselves take a stand.

It can't be about money. Don't photograph me so I can sell photos myself!

But it can be about the raw performance/experience.

Now I'm not saying I see tweeting and e-mailing disappearing from shows. But I will say before all this technology entered the venue the experience was completely different. Maybe cell signals should be banned at arenas.

Nah, that'll never happen.

But if artists are truly leaders, they're the only ones who can change behavior.

We've seen musical artists quit performing to stop fights in the audience... By refusing to do his act, on demand, for this unruly crowd, Dave Chappelle took a stand for the artistic community and the arts themselves.

Meanwhile, all you've got is the click-hungry media saying otherwise. But these reporters are part of the problem. They too want to be famous. Remember Judith Miller?

So yes, we can comb the history of Chappelle and we can see his "performance" was not completely out of character.

But I will say my greatest live experiences were never about the people I went with, or the stories I told afterward, but the bond between performer and myself, the sheer electricity of the connection. That's what it's all about, not being at some big party where the artist is incidental.

So Dave Chappelle is a beacon. But I've yet to see another artist stand up for him. You know artists, they're sheep. They're afraid to lead. They must make sure they're part of a team before they take a stand, and it absolutely positively cannot risk their relationship with their audience or their pocketbook.

Which is why art is in such sad shape these days.

Used to be artists were willing to live on the edge and test limits. We followed them because of who they were and what they said, not because of what they wore and how rich they had become.

If selling out to Samsung is the height of artistic success, count me out.

And I'm not selling out to Apple either.

Not a single faceless corporation where the CEO gets overpaid and is then squeezed out while the products fade away.

Used your 2001 Nokia cell phone recently?

How about that Sony CRT?

But great music lasts forever, people are still listening to the Beatles and the Stones and Stevie Wonder and...

Play for tomorrow, not for today.

And if you're in the arts for the money, you've got your head up your rear end.

You're in the arts to exact change, to make a difference. To take people on a journey wherein they not only enjoy themselves, but question themselves too.

Where was the questioning in Hartford? You had a boorish audience which wanted its expectations fulfilled. More than a challenging good time, they wanted to go home and tell everybody they were there, the same way the super-rich brag about their private jets and exotic vacations and upfront and personal overpriced scalper tickets at the gig.

Come on people, LET HIM DO HIS ACT!

P.S. I don't need to analyze the video footage like the Zapruder film to know I'm right. There's a vibe at a show that can never be captured on tape. Otherwise, we'd all watch concerts at home.

P.P.S. Evidence of the above is the tweet by Mack Mama, who gave Chappelle her book, which he read ironically: "Show was the best He read an excerpt of my book on stage in front of 8000 people Free Plug from my fav comedian."


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Friday 30 August 2013

Rhinofy-Linda Ronstadt

MAD LOVE

The album seen as a sell-out back then and completely forgotten today is Ronstadt stripped raw and gone punk and if you don't like it I don't care. And if you don't know it, you should.

"Justine"

Written by Mark Goldenberg and ultimately done better by his band the Cretones (not on Spotify, but you can listen here: http://bit.ly/1ciLDMn) that does not mean Ronstadt's version is not top-notch and special in its own way. Goldenberg emotes from deep down in his soul, he's got something to say and damn you're gonna listen, whereas Ronstadt is manipulating you! She's doing little tricks with her voice and making the lyrics come alive. Not long hereafter she morphed into a Broadway star, the oldsters' favorite, but this is pure rock and roll, everything Grace Potter is trying to do but is unable to achieve. Yes, Ronstadt looked like a dish, but not only did she have a pure instrument, she knew how to use it!

"Look Out For My Love"

Yes, the Neil Young song from his comeback album "Comes A Time" that really didn't achieve its goal, which was to recapture the magic of "Harvest." You can never go back, you can only go forward. Which Mr. Young did right thereafter, with "Rust Never Sleeps," ensuring he truly never faded away. Yup, one album, with a sound no one expects, can do that for you.

But unlike with "Justine" above, "Look Out For My Love" rocks harder than the writer's version. I learned to love "Look Out For My Love" via Ronstadt, even though I heard Neil's version first.

"Girls Talk"

Yes, the Elvis Costello song. One of two on "Mad Love." And Linda's rendition is far from sacrilegious. You hear the song, the performance does not dominate, like it did on so many early Costello records.

And there's not a bum note on "Mad Love," I love it. It's probably the Ronstadt album I spin most.


GET CLOSER

A return to the classic sound after the punk/new wave "Mad Love," "Get Closer" was seen as a disappointment and is, but there are two cuts so special that you'll be thrilled if you don't know them.

"Easy For You To Say"

A Jimmy Webb original long after his heyday as the songwriter of Top Forty hits, this track is so intimate and meaningful it almost creeps you out.

"Well that's easy for you to say
That I don't know what I'm doing
When you've thrown our love away
Left my life in ruin
That's easy for you to say"

Easy for you to say? Left my life in ruin? These are the lyrics of a great songwriter. It's not about complicated, but right. Because when they leave your life is in ruin in a way you never could have contemplated previously. And it's easy for the cavalier to say so much, as we sit on the sidelines so devastated we're unable to lick our wounds.

"Mr. Radio"

Listen to the original, by Roderick Taylor Falconer, which I've never ever heard before but discovered on Spotify, it's a completely different record! Good in its own right, but the feel is serious, whereas Ronstadt's take is haunting.

Ronstadt's version is a movie! You can see them taking the radio off the truck, the only entertainment in a world off the grid, long before the Internet, when the only people you came in contact with lived in your village.


HASTEN DOWN THE WIND

The Karla Bonoff album. And if you don't have Karla's Columbia debut with these three songs and so much more your life is not complete, certainly if you're a sensitive girl or boy with more questions than answers.

And at some point when I'm in the right, reflective mood I'm gonna write about that album, but it's so special I want to do it justice, which means I may never get the opportunity.

So, I'm not gonna write about "Lose Again," "If He's Ever Near" and "Someone To Lay Down Beside Me."

"The Tattler"

Once upon a time Ry Cooder had a sense of humor, was not crippled by the expectations of his audience and released album after album of stuff so far from the radar screen that if you bought it and enjoyed it you couldn't stop talking about it. Start with "Into The Purple Valley" and buy the self-titled, slickly produced first, just to hear "One Meat Ball." Then after misfiring with "Boomer's Story," Cooder came back with what is probably his best album, "Paradise and Lunch." After you spin it a few times, you'll find yourself singing "Married Man's A Fool" while walking to the bathroom and "Jesus on the Mainline," with its refrain to "call him up," at odd moments throughout the day, and even though "Tamp 'Em Up Solid" is so solid and "Mexican Divorce" is exquisite, the absolute killer on "Paradise and Lunch" is "Tattler."

Now the song has three writers. Cooder and his producer Russ Titelman and Washington Phillips, whose original is the blueprint.

But very few people knew either of these versions, Phillips's or Cooder's. And then Ronstadt blew the song into the stratosphere. That was her power, taking the unknown and revealing it to the masses, she was that big a star, one of the absolute biggest.

And Linda's take is smoother but just as intimate as the other two.

"Give One Heart"

A white reggae track written by John and Johanna Hall for the band Orleans, it appeared on their giant smash album "Still The One." And that rendition is good, but Linda's is spectacular! Orleans's is a bit overwrought, Linda's take is a bit lighter, with a bigger emphasis on the reggae beat and a magical chorus. It's the sleeper on "Hasten Down The Wind," you start to love it the sixth or tenth time through and then it's the one you wait for.


PRISONER IN DISGUISE

The second Geffen album, the one after the Capitol smash "Heart Like A Wheel," "Prisoner In Disguise" was a sales and artistic disappointment, it was just a bit too intimate when the audience was expecting something more upfront. You listen to "Prisoner In Disguise," whereas you feel part of "Heart Like A Wheel." You could play the latter at a party, you wouldn't do that with "Prisoner In Disguise," it was more for you alone, at home, in your bedroom.

"Prisoner In Disguise"

Yes, the title track, it's truly the best on the album, because of the harmony vocal of its writer, J.D. Souther. It brings tears to your eyes. The side would end, the tonearm would return to its resting place and you'd be sitting there in the darkness, contemplating your life. You just wished you had someone there to sing harmony with you.

And the song choices are amazing. Everything from the certified hit "Heat Wave" to "Hey Mister, That's Me Up On The Jukebox" to "Many Rivers To Cross," but although all are good, none are up to the standard set by the original. Although Ronstadt does make "Tracks Of My Tears" her own. It's my favorite of the famous covers.

As for the less famous... Lowell George might not have had the power or range of Ronstadt, but he was every bit the singer, and it's great that Linda cut "Roll Um Easy," but the original is far superior.

Then again, "You Tell Me That I'm Falling Down" only suffers from being inferior to the previous record's McGarrigle sisters' "Heart Like A Wheel."

"Love Is A Rose" preceded Neil Young's recording of his own song, unfortunately it's minor Young, and is a disappointment as an opener.


SIMPLE DREAMS

"Hasten Down The Wind" put Ronstadt back on top, and "Simple Dreams" maintained the momentum, it was every bit as big as its predecessor, it had even greater cultural impact.

If "Hasten Down The Wind" is her Bonoff album, "Simple Dreams" is her Warren Zevon record. And even though Zevon evidenced a personality absent from Ronstadt's take of "Poor Poor Pitiful Me," and a sense of humor, Ronstadt's is a far superior record, with the syndrums and Ronstadt's powerful vocal making an insider track positively powerful and mainstream.

And the track everybody remembers from "Simple Dreams" is "Blue Bayou," which honestly never penetrated me. I just don't love the song that much. And it seemed too much a showcase for her vocal abilities.

Once again, it's the J.D. Souther title track that's most memorable to me, it's the opposite of "Blue Bayou," totally heartfelt and meaningful, with a stunning instrumental coda. It's a keeper.


LIVING IN THE USA

I didn't buy this when it came out, I was burned out, I was pleasantly surprised by the follow-up, "Mad Love," this just seemed a repetition of the formula, with an inferior to Bonnie Raitt cover of "Blowing Away," a superfluous cover of Elvis Costello's "Alison" and a too obvious rendition of "Just One Look."

Still... Little Feat's original "All That You Dream" is superior, but Ronstadt's version has its own merit.

Meanwhile, nobody writes stuff like this anymore, never mind being able to sing it... Lowell George wasn't afraid to write from underneath as opposed to on top. And that's when we're truly interested, when you lose. But it was Paul Barrere and Billy Payne who wrote "All That You Dream," yet you'd never know it by listening to Lowell George sing it. Listen to it and know why even though he never really broke through himself, he was revered by all the L.A. insiders.

"I've been down, but not like this before!"

And Linda does sing backup vocals on the Little Feat original, but even better on "Living In The USA" is her cover of Warren Zevon's "Mohammed's Radio," unfortunately Zevon's original is a killer.

But my favorite song on "Living In The USA" is J.D. Souther's "White Rhythm & Blues." That's what we're all truly looking for, someone who cares when you lose.


DON'T CRY NOW

Wherein David Geffen liberates Linda and gives her creative control and she misfires. This was right before Peter Asher and Andrew Gold moved in and perfected the formula. "Sail Away" is truly laughable, like singing the phone book, it's got none of the humor of the Randy Newman original, it was excoriated at the time, but very few people ever heard it. But Ronstadt does cover "Desperado" before it became a national anthem. And there's a good cover of Rick Roberts's "Colorado" and a good rendition of Neil Young's "I Believe In You," but "Don't Cry Now" is for fans only, and even they can live without it.


AND now I'm running out of gas.

Yes, you've got to have "Different Drum" and "Long Long Time" from the initial Capitol albums, and there's a cover of Paul Siebel's "Louise" on "Silk Purse," but I never listened to those albums back then, didn't even own them, and few other people did either.

And the Nelson Riddle stuff was not my cup of tea and the Trio albums lacked superior material and...there's so much material that I can't cover it all.

And I already Rhinofied "Heart Like A Wheel."

But, I do want to point out there's a good cover of Karla Bonoff's "Goodbye My Friend" on "Cry Like a Rainstorm, Howl Like The Wind," but the Linda Ronstadt track I play most, which I've also written about before, comes from her 1995 return to her classic sound, "Feels Like Home."


"The Waiting"

"Oh baby don't it feel like heaven right now
Don't it feel like something from a dream"

That's what it's like, coming home from the record store with the vinyl record of your favorite artist under your arm. You break the shrinkwrap, pull out the inner sleeve, drop the record on the platter, lift the needle and...

"Well yeah I might have chased a couple women around"

That was what was special about Linda Ronstadt. She was both a girl's girl and a guy's girl. In an era where people were still questioning whether to have premarital sex, she not only flaunted her sexuality, but went through an endless series of desirable boyfriends, truly living the rock star life when that was more about attitude and everyday living than cash. If you were a star, you had a golden ticket to the smorgasbord of the entire world, and Linda Ronstadt partook.

"The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you see one more card"

Ain't that the truth. You think you know the future, but you don't. You're just humming along and then you fall into an unforeseen ditch, you get cancer, you get Parkinson's. But the amazing thing about the ride is despite all the negatives, there's always a silver lining.

"Oh don't let it kill you baby, don't let it get to you
Don't let it kill you baby, don't let it get to you
I'll be your bleedin' heart, I'll be your cryin' fool
Don't let this go too far"

That's right, don't let this go too far. It's sad that Linda Ronstadt can't sing anymore, but she's not dead. Don't put her six feet under yet, like that old Broadway chestnut says, she's got a lot of livin' to do.

But the truth is a small fraction of the world ever saw her sing live. But the records, they are not buried treasures, but living artifacts that are not only in our memories but are spun on a regular basis.

And the truth is what was evidenced in every Linda Ronstadt track was life. The pure joy of being alive. Of course there was introspection, downers, but isn't that how it really is?

That's art. The full panoply of life.

And it's embodied in Linda Ronstadt's canon.

And now she's gonna get a victory lap in which everybody who decried her is going to try and glom on and glorify her. She'll be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, there are already tons of tributes.

But it's never about awards. It's about every day, it's about life.

So I say Linda, give Jann Wenner and his cronies the middle finger! Keep spouting your left wing positions! Keep evidencing that three-dimensional personality that got the conservative in both political position and emotional condition so tied up in knots.

You are truly a rock star.

SCREW 'EM!

We always loved you and still do. You were our Jane Russell, our Ava Gardner, you were every boy's heart's desire and a role model for all females. But unlike those two dimensional movie stars, you had a full-bodied personality, you were everything we wanted to be.

And still are.

Spotify link: http://spoti.fi/p6HcZ8



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Tuesday 27 August 2013

The Miley Cyrus Controversy

Huh?

She's laughing all the way to the bank.

Did you catch the audience in this clip? Not the automatons dancing and screaming around the stage like this is their last night to live, but those in the seats behind? You'd think they were at an anthropology lecture.

Which in actuality they were. What we've got here is a twenty year old so creatively bankrupt that's she's looking back instead of forward, breaking no rules or taboos but just replicating poorly what has happened before, with Madonna kissing Britney and Prince appearing in assless pants...all to stir up those who don't watch so they'll make this evanescent turkey of an event have legs.

But those in attendance are not buying it. They're so bored that they're looking at their cell phones. They're not jumping for joy, they aren't even leaving their seats, because what you've got here is a made for TV moment that doesn't work live, unlike the best of music, and they just don't care.

And you wonder why we live in a culturally bankrupt society.

It's a performance. With no socially redeeming values. It's meaningless. Neither fish nor fowl. And if you've got your knickers in a twist about Miley Cyrus cavorting on stage at the VMAs you must live a cloistered little life and be afraid of your shadow. I mean come on, where do you live? Are you scared of boobies and gay people too? Miley wasn't twerking so much as she was tweaking an establishment that has made her the star of the week even though her talent is so limited it could fit inside a thimble.

But it's not only parents, but even Cyndi Lauper. Hey Cyndi, I thought it was about embracing your true colors! If some people want to be exhibitionists and sell their souls for fame and money shouldn't they be included in the big tent? Isn't that what you did?

So MTV gets what it wanted. An outlet so bankrupt with nothing to do with music that it gives One Direction the Song of the Summer Moon Man gets to look all dangerous and cutting edge when nothing of the sort is true.

And Miley Cyrus gets to extend her television fame just a bit longer.

And Robin Thicke shows he's the tool of the system we always believed him to be.

You know who the star of the show was? Kelly Clarkson! Who didn't even appear, who tweeted:

"Just saw a couple performances from the VMA's last night. 2 words.... #pitchystrippers"

Now Kelly's not offended by Miley Cyrus and Lady Gaga, she's criticizing them for stooping so low, for focusing on the trappings as opposed to the music. Yup, that's how low we've sunk, Kelly Clarkson is the artistic voice of reason.

Then again, only Kelly Clarkson stood up to Clive Davis, calling his hagiographic autobiography hogwash. She's got a backbone. Hell, she was even willing to appear in public fat, she didn't get plastic surgery. She's everything the classic rock artists used to be, before they all got tattoos and facelifts to appear young and hip to an audience so aged they come to the show on scooters.

I mean this is the best the media can do? Be manipulated by both MTV and Ms. Cyrus?

As for the bloviators... Who is giving these people ink? Who cares what these parental organizations have to say. They're tiny in size and miniscule in impact. But reporters without brains print their words because they believe fake controversy sells papers/web ads.

But the kids...

Hell, most kids didn't even watch this travesty, this marketing extravaganza.

And not one had their jaw drop, offended by what transpired.

But we've got parents worried setting parental controls, worried about what little Adam and Brooke might see when the truth is they're exposed to all of it, and all the stuff that bugs their parents doesn't even merit a shrug from them. Nudity, violence, sex... It's available online 24/7.

But put it on a lame cable channel and trump it up with media repetition and we've got a fake controversy, whose only effect will be to make little boys and girls at home believe that they too can test limits on TV with little talent for big bucks.

Then again, what would you rather do, watch this lame clip or get a sext from your junior high school classmate via Snapchat, something that disappears before your Facebooking parents have even heard of the service.

We live in a puritanical society. Which is offended over irrelevancies. Did you know women go to the beach topless in Europe! Where are the editorials? Where's the offense?

The most offensive thing here is people of little talent getting so much attention.

But they wouldn't get it if everybody wasn't complicit.

Truly want to change the world? Then move right along, pay no attention, especially in this Internet age where whatever transpired will evaporate in a matter of hours.

But no, you've got to fan the flames of this irrelevant incident to feel good about yourself.

Let's ignore Miley Cyrus. Let's ignore Kim Kardashian. If we stop paying attention to these no-talents there will be a better chance of true talents emerging.

But that's not how we like it in America. The poor are embroiled in fake controversies and the corporations get richer. Yup, as much as Miley Cyrus benefited from her VMA appearance, it's MTV that truly triumphed. Imagine what they're going to charge for ads at next year's charade!

http://www.mtv.com/videos/misc/942064/we-cant-stop-blurred-lines-give-it-2-u-medley.jhtml#id=1712041


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Monday 26 August 2013

Dr. Luke Joins Idol

Huh?

This is the end result of a culture based on fame. Which too many people equate with fortune. My favorite story about this took place at a restaurant where patrons were stunned to see a cast member of the "Real World" waiting tables. They asked him, "What are you doing here?"

I ask Dr. Luke the same question.

The "Real World" star was earning a living. Everyone knew his name but MTV pays poorly, and if Martha Quinn couldn't convert her fame into further riches, good luck to the evanescent stars of reality shows.

That's what "American Idol" is, a reality show. And a decade plus of intense competition has taught us it's never about talent and always about drama. Whether it be the shenanigans on the "Real World" or the competitors on "Survivor," we don't care about the game but the interactions, we want to see real life played out on the screen. At least until the producers hired writers and scripted interactions to the point that we know in many cases it's just entertainment.

So what we have with "American Idol" is a dying franchise. Hell, even Simon Cowell can no longer succeed, his "X Factor" is a bust, even Britney Spears couldn't prop it up. We're more interested in Simon's sexual peccadilloes than both his show and his artists, we've seen that reveal, where he's been putting his unit and the results thereof are much more interesting, along with the moral questions involved.

So the ratings for "Idol" are never going back up. We see faux criticism and snark and a bunch of half-talented wannabes competing to be molded by a Svengali and overpromoted to little success. What's so interesting about that? Especially in a world where Miley Cyrus left TV and has been remaking herself more bizarrely every week. As did Amanda Bynes. But at least they had fame previously, the contestants on "Idol" have no history, no track record, and if you think we can relate and believe in someone over the course of a TV season you can list all the competitors on the "Amazing Race." No, you need multiple seasons to get people to truly care. So no one cares about these contestants, not really.

And they don't care about the judges. Because there's a revolving door of people doing it for the money and exposure. Keith Urban is an amazing guitar player, but he's got about as much personality as the cardboard inside your shirt that comes from the laundry. He grew up practicing his licks, not learning how to speak. He speaks with his guitar. As for J.Lo... Famous for her posterior, anybody who thinks J.Lo can sing has no ears. To make her the arbiter of a singing competition is to make Stephen Hawking a gymnastics judge. As for the vaunted sales bump... J.Lo had one single that moved and Aerosmith's album tanked after Tyler's appearance on "Idol," where he actually displayed a personality. But once you're fodder for the masses, your core shrugs you off, they figure you don't need them anymore.

And unless I didn't get a memo, Dr. Luke is not starting a performing career, he's a behind the scenes guy. What advantage is he gaining here? Oh, he's got a deal with Sony, he can find talent. I'm telling you now, Dr. Luke already has access to the world's best wannabe talent, he doesn't need to be on this show to find it. And we've learned from past seasons that all that exposure does not help the winners sell records. You're better off building something from scratch.

And you punch up, not down. You attach yourself when something is growing, not failing. It's the essence of business, it's why Steve Ballmer had to walk, he was more attached to a dying past than a growing future. Ballmer said the iPhone wouldn't get traction, suddenly not only are PCs cratering, so is the need for Microsoft's cash cow Office. You don't wait until it's played out before you move on, if you're smart you leave at the peak, or just thereafter, you get off the merry-go-round when public opinion is still positive, and then speak crap about what happened thereafter when you're queried in the endless interviews as time goes by.

And to tell you the truth, my aged brain is having a hard time locking on to the name of that songwriter... Oh yeah, Kara DioGuardi? Did she die or something? Because we haven't heard from her since. What did "Idol" do for Kara's career other than reveal her to be a narcissistic, fame-hungry person who clawed her way to the top? Like they all are...you don't make it by being nice, by being unwilling to edge out others. Hell, isn't that the secret of Madonna's success? But at least Madonna knew how to leverage what she had. And to get in early on trends and then abandon them. Give Bowie props, he tried to stay ahead of the game. Now both he and Madge are flummoxed as to what to do next.

But that's a different issue. A TV performer is different from a musician. A musician is cerebral, he writes his own material, a TV performer reads off the prompter, plays to everybody or his show gets canceled whereas a musical performer can appeal to a tiny sliver of the audience and do quite well.

But today everybody wants to appeal to everybody. Which is why art loses its edge. If you're not willing to write some of the audience off, you've got no core. We're addicted to edge. If you smooth yours off, you're done.

And that new Katy Perry song... It was cowritten by Max Martin, the unknown Swede responsible for Britney Spears's "...Baby One More Time," one of the greatest tracks of the nineties, there, I said it, as well as the Backstreet Boys hits and Kelly Clarkson's and...

Martin's had a longer career than the acts he's worked with, longer than most of those appearing on the VMAs last night, because he knows his place, he knows that pop acts need fodder, and he's a master. He's worked at his craft and knows that fame has got nothing to do with it. Hell, all those famous people prepubescent kids adore come and go, and Max remains, he's nobody's punch line.

But here we've got Dr. Luke saying yes in an era where almost nobody knows the word "no." They can't say no to the corporations, to anybody. And since the handlers get a percentage and everybody says to do it everybody does. Not realizing there's a cost. That playing to everybody on national TV erodes your core and makes you a laughingstock. Yes, we watch TV to snark, not to glorify. This is where the money culture has brought us. If you get paid, no one can criticize. But I am.

Hell, if I were Luke, if the ink weren't dry, I'd pull out. I'd publicly say no. He's got enough money. Other than getting paid, all I can see is downsides.

Each and every TV star who joined a show after its peak... Adam Arkin still hasn't recovered from trying to resuscitate "Northern Exposure." He's actually a talented actor, but he looked desperate by taking that gig, he appeared second-rate.

You want to be someone's first choice. If you're not in on the ground floor, forget it. If Dr. Luke wants to create a TV show, I'm much more interested. Then again, what does TV have to do with music?


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Sunday 25 August 2013

What Dies First, Twitter Or The VMAs?

I'm not gonna watch it. I figure if anything happens worth knowing about, I can see it on the Internet tomorrow. That's how far we've come, used to be you DVR'ed it and fast-forwarded through not only the commercials, but almost all of the musical performances. Now you don't want to waste the hard drive space.

And if it weren't for Twitter, the show's ratings would be so low they'd think about canceling it.

You see now it's no longer about the show itself, but the snark. The people on stage don't realize they're fodder for those playing the home game, making fun of everything happening on stage and off. Search Twitter, it's not pretty. Even youngsters are sneering. And every oldster with a modicum of followers is live tweeting, which proves that the paradigm is done, once you're afraid of being left out, once you're leveraging your fan base for personal aggrandizement, we know the whole shebang is history.

How did it come to this?

Well, we know that television kills musical artists. Oh, it jets them to the moon, but sans mystery, they end up like sitcom stars, people with one moment of fame we end up laughing at, wondering if they're off robbing a 7-11 now that their royalties are gone.

This was true during the heyday of MTV.

Now it's even worse.

Well, let me explain that. Television does not have the power it used to, and needless to say MTV's a shadow of its former self. But everybody trying to sell a record, everybody looking for a bit of the cultural zeitgeist, makes sure they appear on this show where the awards are meaningless but the zingers and the performances made it legendary.

I already know Justin Timberlake resurrected his Grammy performance. And if you didn't know that 'NSYNC appeared with him, you probably don't know there's going to be a gold iPhone.

But at least you can do something with an iPhone, it's got legs, unlike this show and even most of JT's music.

As for the Twitter comments, that's all about the participatory society. If you think it needs to take place on Twitter, you're still using MySpace.

Speaking of which, if Justin Timberlake was so powerful, how come he couldn't resurrect that service? This is kind of like the people who bought the story that BlackBerry could be resurrected by the 10, who are these idiots without discriminatory powers, who ignore facts and print the press release?

That's what the VMAs have become. A marketing exercise with no core.

At least there's a game at the center of the Super Bowl.

But really, we watch for the commercials. Without them, ratings would suck.

But this is such a tired show. Kind of like SNL. Ain't that America, you create a formula and then milk it to death.

As for the "stars" who appear... Once upon a time video was important and we all were watching. Now nothing's that important and we only watch shows like the VMAs to feel a member of the club.

So I'm predicting this live tweet bowl will die. Kind of like long hair. It meant something once, then the nerds grew out their hair and it lost all its power, it was no longer a statement.

Kind of like tattoos. Once upon a time they were taboo. Now even teachers have them. To rebel is to not only get rid of them, but to never ever have them.

Once upon a time, the music business was built on hip. When Top Forty was something you wanted to run away from and saying no was an option.

But now we're all beholden to the corporate conglomerates. Brands are king, not bands.

So what will the future bring us?

Outsiders who triumph.

It's easy to snark on Twitter, it's much more difficult to create art worth snarking about.

Culture abhors a vacuum. And that's what we've got right now. Circus performers who act in a bad play straight out of the WWE.

Everyone's afraid to say no because they're afraid to be forgotten.

Don't want to be forgotten? Write a great hit.

So pat yourself on the back for believing you're better than the VMAs. It's true, you are.

But if you're joining the scrum of snark to make yourself feel good you're already part of a dying paradigm, sorry.

P.S. Apple's 9/10 announcements will trump this popular culture travesty in both impact and longevity.

P.P.S. We're more interested in the war between Samsung and Apple than any rap war.

P.P.P.S. As soon as an outlet starts trumpeting its social media marketing you know that it's truly got no idea where the culture is headed. Once upon a time MTV led, now it follows, poorly.

P.P.P.P.S. Since the kiddies spend money on it, the oldsters are wary of decrying it.

P.P.P.P.P.S. Hall & Oates have more hits than all of these nitwits and are continuing to sell a vast number of tickets. Proving that it's truly about talent and musicianship. And it's the hits that put people in the seats ten years out, not the evanescent appearances on these self-congratulatory cheesefests. Furthermore, hipsters hate Hall & Oates, laughingly call it "yacht rock." Forge your own path, don't be a follower. Because the true followers are people live tweeting this show.

P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Vice is the new MTV. And their show on HBO is riveting in a way MTV hasn't been in fifteen years. Because it assumes those watching are intelligent. Today smart is hip. The key is to bring your attitude with your intelligence to the cutting edge. Vice investigates dating in China, their Dennis Rodman stunt made more news than the compendium of stars appearing on this telecast. Success is all about thinking. Doing something different. If you're not breaking the mold, you're gonna be discarded when the revolution occurs, and it won't be televised. In other words, tomorrow's movers and shakers aren't even watching this show, they're about disrupting this world, not being a part of it.

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. The fact that Vice's TV show has little traction does not mean it's irrelevant, quite the contrary. Today everything that lasts builds slowly off the radar screen, which only catalogues the comets that come and quickly go. Then suddenly, it's ubiquitous. Kind of like Twitter itself. Did you already forget that the younger generation was last to the 140 character service? Yes, Justin Bieber and his adoring pre-adolescent fans are not changing the world, older people are.


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