Friday 26 April 2013

Rhinofy-Status Back Baby

"I'm losing status at the high school
I used to think that it was my school"

They say it's the greatest time of your life.

Hogwash!

If you were a cheerleader, captain of the football team...if you were popular in high school chances are you were not part of the rock revolution. No, I'm not talking about the Beatles, but what came after, the FM revolution, the Mothers Of Invention.

This was back when the length of your hair meant something. Before even the nerds grew it long and made us all indistinguishable.

It would be hard for youngsters to understand, how we all weren't part of a cohesive group, how we all didn't text each other and have friends with benefits. The sixties were completely different. There were winners and losers. And the hard core music fans were the latter, music was all they had. They weren't good-looking enough... Talk about bullying? Today's not in the league of yesteryear, when your parents just told you to take it, that it was part of growing up, and there were hoods who pushed you around physically...now you can't even touch anybody!

And then you'd discover something like the Mothers Of Invention and your whole life made sense, you felt like there was someone on your side. That's why these rock stars were our heroes. Because they weren't like the establishment, they were outsiders, just like us. You say you want to sell out? That's what I hate about you. I don't want in, in sucks, I was never accepted there, screw them.

That's what we all said back then, screw you! We let our freak flags fly high!

"The other night we painted posters
We played some records by the Coasters
Wah wah wah wah
A bunch of pom-pom girls looked down their nose at me
They had painted tons of posters, I had painted three
I hear those secret whispers everywhere I go
My school spirit is at an all time low"

Ha! They'd rope us into the activities, but we just didn't do them right, and then they snickered behind our backs. But then we discovered the alternative culture and we didn't care anymore.

It was so different from today. Alternative wasn't a format on MTV. FM was a vast wasteland the radio companies ignored, they only let deejays play this stuff because the government said they couldn't simulcast the same signal they were using on AM. Ratings were abysmal. But then they grew. This was where honesty lived. Scott Muni talked at light speed on AM, but on FM he was a cool cat.

They want to make you a monkey. It's no different today. You think you're winning by going into finance, but the joke's on you, you've got to do that job. And during the days of yore you had an option, you could play in a band. But only the most dedicated and out there could make it. You think Bruce Springsteen is just like you but nothing could be further from the truth, in high school you wouldn't even talk to him!

"Status Back Baby" emerges on side two of "Absolutely Free" and it's a complete surprise, it sounds not a whit like what came before. That was part of Zappa's genius, he could play in multiple styles, he could mix it up, he could dazzle you.

And the joke of this sing-songy number was the last thing you wanted was your status back.

And as the years wore on, more and more people crossed the line to the renegade side.

You'll either hear this and it will resonate or it won't.

If it doesn't, stay on that mouse wheel, think you're getting ahead, but you're really not. And if you can't question authority, if you can't challenge institutions, you're never gonna make it in art.

Which is why music sucks today. Being proficient on your instrument is only part of it... WHERE ARE YOU COMING FROM?

Spotify link: http://spoti.fi/p6HcZ8

Previous Rhinofy playlists: http://www.rhinofy.com/lefsetz


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Second E-Mail Of The Day

From: Eric Chaikin
Subject: Re: How Can I Miss You When You Won't Go Away?

Great post on Howard.

I contend that the major eras in the relationship between American mass media and the public are:

0) The Vaudeville Age - Uncle Miltie and Sid Caesar using TV to do vaudeville. It's all fun. No pretense of a relationship.

1) The Johnny Carson era - the pretense of authenticity in the relationship between host, celebrity and audience. No acknowledgement of inauthenticity.

2) The Letterman era - authentic inauthenticity ("welcome to my television entertainment program"). Acknowledgement that the format and the relationships are inauthentic, but playing within the structure.

3) The Howard Stern era - destruction of inauthenticity. Acknowledgement that the entire relationship between celebrities, hosts and audience is total b.s., total authenticity between host, guests and audience. Milking it for all it's worth.

I contend that there was a moment we crossed into the Stern era: when Gennifer Flowers held a news conference (paid for by the Star tabloid) to announce some "serious, political news". The rest of the media reporters treated the whole thing with b.s. gravitas. And Stuttering John asked: "Gennifer - will you be sleeping with any other presidential candidates?" (As in: "What's your next project?") He was hustled out of the room as if he wasn't taking the moment seriously enough. But it was exactly what that b.s. dog and pony show deserved. And there was no going back.

How to characterize the post-Stern era?

I guess you'd have to go Kardashian: complete pretense of authenticity.


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E-Mail Of The Day

From: Matthew Milam
Subject: Poker

As someone that works in the movie business, this email hit close to home. I often wonder why TV has eclipsed movies in terms of great content and you basically lay it out in the below email.

In the 80s, you had 15 - 20 movie studios each putting out 20 pictures a year. When you need to produce 400 films, you've sometimes just got to give a kid 10 million bucks and tell him to come back with something great. At the same time, you had 3 (4 if you count Fox) TV networks who had to play it safe. They were the only game in town and they were putting out content that had to attract advertisers.

Cut to 2013 and the roles have been flipped. You've got 10 studios each putting out a diminishing number of pictures every year. They've got to play it safe because they're taking fewer bites at the apple. Innovation has ceased in the pursuit of the sure dollar - an oxymoron if there ever was one.

Then, in TV, you've got God knows how many channels all clamoring for content. A day doesn't pass where you don't hear about some network jumping into the scripted TV game.

THEY NEED CONTENT! It's amazing because they'll give anyone the cash to do it just to try to put something on screen. I know you hate the show, but look at the model of what FX did for Louis CK. That's how you get innovation - give talented people money and let them do their thing. Don't dictate. There isn't a formula, at least not one that's going to stay fresh.

If you want eyeballs, let people press the envelope and try crazy, scary shit.

Matthew Milam

Skydance Productions
Los Angeles, CA

www.skydance.com

_________________________________________

Note: It has come to my attention my article entitled "Poker" may not have made it through spam filters, you can read it online here: http://lefsetz.com/wordpress/index.php/archives/2013/04/26/poker/

_________________________________________

Read the article "Can We Please Stop Talking About TV" in today's "Wall Street Journal": http://on.wsj.com/ZLpwJW

Forget the snark, it's just utterly fascinating that in my lifetime television has evolved from a vast wasteland to the go-to storytelling medium. It's all about chances and innovation, something sorely lacking in the music business. Oh, everybody gets a chance, but there's very little innovation. I love Daft Punk's "Get Lucky," but it's so reminiscent of the seventies I expect the Hues Corporation to come on next. Unfortunately, music is mature, and nobody involved will admit it. Jazz was a breakthrough. Rock and roll was a breakthrough. Hip-hop was a breakthrough. And now all we've got is imitation and wannabe music. Except for electronic music. Like the foregoing breakthroughs, it's divisive. Younger people not wed to past forms embrace it. It doesn't fit the previous model, one based on airplay and record sales. And that's one of the main reasons EDM is burgeoning.

At some point in the future, the slate will be wiped clean and music will return. But that could be decades. The baby boomers have to die, the major labels have to fade, we need artists and businessmen employing their own money who are first and foremost following their own passion. Then again, that's one thing EDM delivers today, it's just like rock and roll in that the attendance is staggering and so are the paydays. The way out is risk, but corporations, which run the music business, abhor risk. Hell, they've got stockholders and quarterly reports and their employees all have bonuses tied to results. And what makes me scratch my head is the desire of young people to hook up with these dinosaurs. It illustrates to me you've got no shame, you're as decrepit and soulless and averse to change as your grandparents.


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How Can I Miss You When You Won't Go Away?

I miss Howard.

I hope Mr. Stern is having fun on AGT this week, because it's doing nothing for his career. Swinging for the fences, playing for an audience that just doesn't care, he's abandoned his hard core and we're going through withdrawal.

This is not about Howard Stern. You don't have to subscribe to Sirius or listen to his radio program to understand the point I'm making. That to truly triumph you've got to be so good that we miss you when you're gone. Which is rare in today's overmarketed society. You keep telling us to pay attention when what we really want to do is run away. Then there are performers who we just can't get enough of, who we consider family members, who have three-dimensional personalities and are so real we believe if we ran into them on the street we'd connect like best buddies.

Last weekend I read "The New York Times" and was stunned how mediocre most of the writing was. And the "Times" eclipses every newspaper but the "Wall Street Journal." Then I came across an article by Philip Roth and it intrigued me and cut like butter, and I'm not even a big fan of the New Jerseyite, not since the early novels like "Goodbye Columbus" and "Portnoy's Complaint," but it's undeniable that Roth can write.

So I'm pushing the buttons on the Sirius dial and I get a bunch of people laughing on the Cosmo channel. This is entertaining why? This is how television news has been ruined over the past four decades, you're so busy looking chummy that you've forgotten the reason you're there, which is to inform us. TV news has lost the plot.

And just because they call it the morning zoo, that doesn't mean we want to listen to the animals. Outrageous is not a sustainable act. Stunts wear thin. You're telling a story on the radio, it's theatre of the mind, there has to be continuity and plot, no one can watch, never mind listen to, fireworks all day long.

You start listening to Stern and you wonder who all the extraneous people are. Ronnie Mund? Scott DePace? And then their personalities are revealed, and you realize you know people just like them in real life. Benji said he didn't know the definition of the word "annoying," even though he was accurately described as the poster boy for that archetype. The raw frustration of intersecting with so many people is beautifully evidenced on the Stern show.

And instead of being constantly self-deprecating, or only telling us how great he is, like a rapper, Howard veers from side to side, edge to edge. He says how he goes to parties and he gets uptight because he's got nothing to say, the people scare him. Wow, I feel exactly the same way!

And then there are the interviews. Amy Schumer revealed she made 900k last year and I was astounded. My best friends won't tell me how much they make. And when I tweeted about it, Amy tracked me down and asked if she'd committed a faux pas. Huh? Suddenly I'm part of a private club, which is bigger than the mainstream clubs we're constantly being dunned about.

That's the modern paradigm. Nobody is the king of all media, nobody is everywhere. You've just got your niche, how big is it?

And if you're playing to people outside it, you're missing the point. They don't care. Expanding the brand? So Howard goes on "America's Got Talent" and judges acts not even edgy enough to appear on the "Gong Show"? How can he be so wise and so stupid at the same time? Howard went to Sirius too early, but now the time is right, only those who care pay attention. And more people listen to Howard than watch the late night talk show hosts the mainstream press keeps bloviating about.

Now I'm not saying Stern should do what I want him to, be on the radio five mornings a week. But I am saying he's wasting his time playing to those who aren't core fans.

As for Howard's core fans... Listen to the Superfan Roundtable, where the commentators reference things that happened years ago. There's even a Celebrity Superfan Roundtable, hosted by Jeff Probst, featuring diehard fans like Natalie Maines. And you're probably clueless as to all this, but that's how strong a bond people have to Howard Stern.

And unlike everything but hoity-toity NPR, Howard sells product. Go on his show and watch your album fly up the iTunes chart.

And it's all because he's so damn good.

You think it's just talking into a microphone. You think anybody can play the guitar, anybody can have a hit record, but it takes years to hone your act, and dedication... Howard does lament that AGT interferes with his schedule, he doesn't have enough time to prepare!

And you can hear his preparation. And he extracts information from his guests no one else does. Since it's radio the interviews go on forever. They're not beholden to the Letterman formula, which is it's all comedy, it's all leading to punch lines.

Life is not a punch line.

Life is a series of highs and lows, speeding freeways and dead ends. And when you're on the 405, forced to listen to the drivel on the hundred other radio stations, you yearn for Howard Stern like your best bud from college, you just want to have conversation that's in the pocket, that makes you feel alive and connected.

I'm stunned how much time I dedicate to Howard.

But after this execrable week, being forced to listen to lame music and a rehash of the news, I'm ready for more.

Howard Stern built Sirius. Without him, it's toast.

That's the power of the individual, that's the power of entertainment, that's the power of art.

If you're not so damn good that people clamor for you when you go away, you're a second-rate player who can be forgotten instantly.

Howard, COME BACK!

P.S. Radio, the most ancient of mass media, is positively modern in the hands of Howard Stern. He knows it's not about what you did in the past, but what you keep doing. Dedicated fans don't want reruns, they want new stuff. There's never enough new stuff for a hard core fan, isn't that my point? By constantly creating new material, playing to the core, not worrying about the penumbra, Stern is doing what modern musicians should be doing but refuse to. You're not selling hits, but a career. It's the opposite of the nineties. Anybody can have a hit record, but can you sustain?


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Thursday 25 April 2013

Poker

It's a game of statistics.

Last night on Radiolab I heard Annie Duke say you couldn't rely on tells. Because some people were too inexperienced to know whether they had a good hand or a bad one. Your only hope was to do the math.

I don't play cards. But it's been the rage for in excess of a decade. I thought it was a game of personalities, of bluffs, of mano a mano combat.

No, it's a game of the smart against the dumb. The informed against the ignorant. All the best players reveal no physical reaction. You've got to know the math.

I get it, I get it. You can put up a YouTube clip and become famous!

But very few succeed and do you end up rich?

Not usually. Or not for long.

We're undergoing a revolution in America. And it's all based on intelligence. And if you're uneducated, if you don't understand the game, you're going to be left behind. It's like America's a giant train, and the cars in front have uncoupled from those in the rear and are zooming down the track at light speed while those left behind aren't even moving or are going down blind alleys. Everything your parents told you was true. You've got to apply yourself, you've got to do well in school, or you're going to get left behind. Hell, it's much worse than it was in the sixties and seventies, you can't survive on minimum wage. You might be able to get a job at McDonald's, but you can't pay your bills.

Turns out there are charts. Of odds. Of probabilities. Turns out 20% is usually enough to go all-in. So what on the surface appears to be a bad bet is actually a safe one.

Annie makes a good point. It's not about winning every time, it's about winning enough of the time, breaking even.

Record labels and artists are clueless when it comes to this. So busy trying to ensure success, labels load up writers and producers on a track in order to make sure they've got a hit. Whereas they'd be better off letting the artists go free, have them take multiple chances. They don't have to hit every time, but enough of the time!

You're not gonna take a risk if you've only got one chance.

And you know if your left field track is any good, radio is gonna play it. That's their business, playing hits. And in a world where it can take the better part of a year for a cut to bubble up, the winners float and the losers sink.

In other words, data is gonna revolutionize the music business.

Only there's not enough money in it now.

And nobody in entertainment likes the truth. They'd rather operate on smoke and mirrors.

So listen to this Radiolab podcast. Maybe you're a poker player and know everything. But I bet most are not and will be fascinated.

Meanwhile, Ms. Duke went to Columbia undergrad and then Penn for grad school. And you don't have to attend these blue chips in order to make it. But you too have to do the work, you too have to have the insight and smarts. Or else you end up in the underclass, fighting over the scraps.

"Dealing With Doubt": http://www.radiolab.org/2013/mar/26/dealing-doubt/


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Wednesday 24 April 2013

Zach Braff's Kickstarter

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1869987317/wish-i-was-here-1

Remember when all the bands were selling albums at Wal-Mart?

That was five years ago. And nobody does it anymore. The paradigm's toast. Just like name your own price, the Radiohead "In Rainbows" promotion.

The reason the Wal-Mart scheme worked is because it was the EAGLES! Who hadn't released an album in decades. Furthermore, unlike the traditional record business, the double album was a value, priced at single-album rates. If it had been Joe Blow...

Zach Braff may not be the Eagles, but he's not getting as much money. But if you think crowdfunding is the future of entertainment financing, I've got to ask you how that Groupon stock is doing...are you still talking about it on MySpace?

Kickstarter, et al, have proven one thing:

1. If you've got fans, they'll give you money.

It's as simple as that. And that's very important.

But...

1. Do you know who those fans are?

Unless you're uber-famous, you've got to have an e-mail list and a Twitter following...you've got to be able to reach all those potential crowdfunding donors. If you're a middling act who's been playing to gatekeepers your whole career, you're gonna be in trouble.

So, right now, everybody in the creative sphere, develop and maintain an ongoing relationship with your fan base, it's going to keep you alive when the big boys run out of money or are no longer interested in funding you.

But the gooey secret of crowdfunding is how few people donate. The focus is on the money raised.

Right now, 16,789 people have donated to Zach Braff's movie campaign. If that many went to see his flick the first week out he'd be laughed out of "Variety." Now I'm not saying he won't get more people, but he's one of the biggest film stars ever to go to the public via Kickstarter. In other words, if you're a wannabe, GOOD LUCK!

And once you've got your money, you've got to...

Deliver.

Which brings us to the #1 problem in the crowdfunding sphere:

1. Too many people do not. And those who do not tarnish those who do. So if you lay out your cash and no film or album is forthcoming, there's trouble. Furthermore, Braff's a pro. The Pebble creators? It was laughable how little they knew about producing their product after they got their money. Read their posts explaining their delay. These high-fliers were more interested in the money than the logistics, and they're the big winner!

You only survive in tech if you continue to grow and innovate. Which is why Amazon is such a high-flier. Today's rumor is they're going to deliver a set-top TV box. What is Kickstarter's next move?

Not that these guys are bad or rip-off artists, but what we've seen in the history of the Net is one fad after another. From AOL to MySpace to...Facebook?

Come on, remember when AOL bought Time Warner?

How come everybody's so stupid?

So Zach Braff raises his money. He shoots the film. Then where does he distribute it? Who pays for all the marketing? I'm not saying he can't do without, but what he's gonna end up with is a very small footprint, unless his film is incredibly good. But if you don't know that nothing is guaranteed in movies, that you can have the best intentions yet end up with a mediocre flick, you've never made a movie.

So let's not get caught up in the hysteria.

But we can get caught up in the cynicism...

Many high-fliers are looking for bucks on Kickstarter despite already having the money, they see it as a marketing tool. You think the public isn't gonna suss this out?

And when the big boys come to play, it squeezes out the wannabes. Kickstarter's no longer a left field club, but the playground of the people who won't hang with you, who are always behind locked gates and velvet ropes.

So where does this leave us?

Great art triumphs. It's easier to make it from left field than ever before.

But with all the competition, you've got to be better than ever.

And what we're waiting for in film is what's just now happening in music...acts that have developed completely outside the mainstream and stay that way. That's the revolution, not the already famous slumming.


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Bugging Me

THE VINYL REVOLUTION

It's a hobby. Like stamp collecting. Albeit with a lot more press. Just because you spinners are yelling at the top of your lungs that does not mean the rest of us care. While you're at it, why don't you bring back dial telephones, typewriters, cathode-ray TVs, pagers...

AMBULATORY PEOPLE WITH HANDICAP PLACARDS

Have you no shame?

SPOTIFY SEARCH

Never underestimate the power of search. If we can't find it, we can't buy it or hear it or... Amazon has a whole division dedicated to search, hell, it even let the public utilize its engine once upon a time. Ever search for something and find yourself unable to find it on Amazon or iTunes? Rarely. The fundamentals are key. And while I'm at it, why does Spotify always freeze/pause? Is it because I'm not allocating enough space to P2P or bad code or..?

DISTRIBUTION

If I can't find it in your store, after driving halfway across town, do you really expect me not to shop online, even if I have to pay the tax?

PLASTIC

Isn't there any other way to distribute food items?

WOMEN IN GIANT SUVs WITH CHROME WHEELS

You know, their husbands made them buy them, so when they drive around town on the weekend they look like big swinging dicks, but their schlongs are probably tiny.

ACTS THAT DON'T REALIZE VIRALITY IS BASED ON MUSIC

Marketing comes after. Start with a great tune.

JUST BECAUSE YOU MADE IT, THAT DOESN'T MEAN I WANT TO LISTEN TO IT, READ IT OR OWN IT

I've got no time, especially for unwanted work. Why don't I take you to the grocery store and make you buy SPAM. Then again, SPAM actually has a market!

TECHNOLOGICALLY INEPT BABY BOOMERS

They've got all the gadgets, but they don't know how to use them. Ever hear of Google? It'll tell you everything you need to know! Baby boomers are all sheen and no substance, they didn't grow up with gadgets and they don't want to put the time in to learn how to use them. Baby boomers are all about resting on their laurels and whining that it just ain't the way it used to be.

THE LATE NIGHT WARS

Almost no one's watching and no one's doing anything new. It'd be like reading about the war between Styx and 38 Special every damn day.

TWITTER'S DECIMATION OF TWEETDECK

It was good before they bought it. Then they revamped it into unusability. Sometimes outsiders have more insight than you do.

TECH NEOPHYTES WHO THINK THEIR ADD-ON WILL TRIUMPH

Once upon a time spell checkers were standalone programs. Now they're a FEATURE! If you're building a tweak for a service, either do it for free or pray they buy you out. Because chances are if what you're doing is worth anything, they're going to replicate what you do and squash it.

RADIO BLOWHARDS

Who keep writing and e-mailing how terrestrial radio is a triumphant juggernaut. Yes, radio is where the most people go to listen today. Just like network TV was triumphant before NBC was trounced by Univision in the last book.

DOWNLOAD FREAKS

Streaming wins. Just like digital photography killed film. Just because you hear about something for a decade and it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean it still won't. Digital killed film seemingly overnight. Same deal with streaming. As for the public's ignorance, unknowledgeable that playlists live on your handset and no bandwidth is required...he who complains loudest is always the most ignorant.

PSY'S NEW VIDEO

Everybody's watching out of curiosity. It's over, forget it.

ENTERTAINMENT PEOPLE WHO ARE TECH ENTREPRENEURS

It's hard in life to do one thing. Bo Jackson played baseball poorly before he got injured in the NFL. Michael Jordan, the best basketball player of all time, couldn't hit. So when the agency or the manager tells me he's got a tech idea, I laugh. This is akin to getting a VC to settle a live show.

PROFESSIONAL ADVICE GIVERS

You know, the people online who tell you how to make it and charge you for the advice, not telling you first that you've got no chance. They're just trying to find a new business after their old one in the industry evaporated.

COLLEGE

They don't teach you how to think, they just graduate you in some irrelevant topic that you could learn on the job, like PR or the music industry. Just because you've got a sheepskin, that does not mean you're entitled to a job.



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Mailbag

From: Mike Lane (and others)
Re: Constant Creation

fyi: Reese Witherspoon did come out and say she was drunk: "I clearly had one drink too many and I am deeply embarrassed about the things I said. It was definitely a scary situation and I was frightened for my husband, but that is no excuse. I was disrespectful to the officer who was just doing his job. I have nothing but respect for the police and I'm very sorry for my behavior."

"Reese Witherspoon apologizes for drunken spat": http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/04/22/entertainment-us-usa-witherspoon-arrest-idUSBRE93K0GK20130422

___________________________________

From: John Davidson
Subject: Record Store Day is only good for speculators on eBay

1. You have to wait in line for hours only to find out that a prize artifact was sold out immediately. To the staff or someone who got to the store at 6am.

2. All the best stuff will show up on eBay at scalper's prices

3. This is the thanks I get for buying literally thousands of albums from independent record stores?

Long lines anywhere doesn't indicate demand Bob. That's OLD SCHOOL. Long lines at 8am means that THERE WILL BE SCALPING.

Artists: stop treating your fans this way.

___________________________________

From: Ryan Moore
Subject: RE: Scale

The 'comeback' of vinyl is all hype.......in the sense that what you now have is a LOT of people all putting out small vinyl runs so statistically the overall amounts seem to have risen, but you don't have anyone selling a lot of one title.... its great for niche record shops and vinyl pressing outfits though....
Take a look at vinyl pressing outfits online and you will see the special offers tend to be for amounts in the low 100's....
http://curvedpressings.com/

___________________________________

From: Mo Seetubtim
Subject: Re: Twitter Music

Hi Bob,

Twitter doesn't want to solve music problems with their new feature. They just want to add a feather where brands (advertisers) can engage with the customers/consumer on a more involved level. And that...means...more money for them from ad revenue.

Cheers,
a Media Girl

___________________________________

Subject: Re: Advice

Hey Bob,

Your line about "Celtics" reminded me of an incident in the 1970s when I happened to be drinking, in the lobby of London's Dorchester Hotel, with the actor Richard Burton. It's a long story...

But, anyway, a rude American tourist - they existed then - bowled up to us, turned to Richard, and said: "Mr Burton, is it true that you are a Celt?" He pronounced it "Selt", which puzzled me at the time. But Burton was unfazed...

"Yes sir, I am. And you are a Sunt."

I suspect that tourist is still trying to work out what was said to him, and what our howls of laughter were all about.

Cheers,

Bob Hart, Melbourne, Australia.

___________________________________

From: Jacob Gluck
Subject: Re: Advice

You are so right about reading. I was an English major ("English major? What are you gonna do with that! Everyone asked/laughed in my face). But alas, I went to Wall Street right after college because the smart people look for a mind to meld, not a certification on a piece of paper. When they asked me why I was an English major, my response was simply, "I wanted to get as smart as possible, and learn as much as possible, and you do that by reading books." Needless to say that was all the answer I needed. If you ain't readin', you ain't even trying! is what I say.

PS - Why did I go to Wall Street anyways? Because I wanted to be with the smartest folks in the country, people who could teach me the most. I'm not in finance now, but what an education!

Jake

___________________________________

From: Mike McCready
Subject: Re: Mailbag

"From: Eric
Subject: Re: Benji From PledgeMusic

Thanks for the reality check Bob....is this why MusicXray is raking in my dough with zero results, except to tell me to keep submitting?"

If this guy isn't getting a deal, he's not good enough and that's probably what we're telling him.

As far as results, damn straight he's getting results! Every single professional to whom he has submitted a song on Music Xray has listened to it and responded to him. That's a RESULT Eric could not have gotten any other way for ANYWHERE near the few bucks it's costing him on Xray - if he could get that result at all. I know lots of people who have been working for years in this business with huge rolodexes and who can't get that result!

I'll tell you what I'm sick of. It's artists who think they pay us to get them a deal and when they don't get one they slam Music Xray, forgetting they actually paid us to get their song heard by the professional/supervisor/A&R of their choice and to get a guaranteed reply. If they don't like the responses they get or don't get a deal, I fail to see how that's Music Xray's fault. It's their music's fault!

Sure, we tell them they can keep trying to land a deal via Music Xray, but we transparently tell them that other songs of similar strength didn't get a deal on Music Xray until the song's 40th submission (for example) - and by the time a deal is landed it might not be worth much. We tell them they can continue submitting but it should be with their eyes wide open.

We are not only truth tellers, we tell the artists hard how the road will be if they choose to continue pushing the rock up the hill (no pun intended). Many don't like to hear the truth and they take it out on us. Whatever. Music Xray is transparent and there are only two kinds of musicians on Music Xray, those who get deals and those who don't. The only variable is the music and the Artist's submission strategy.

..........................
Mike McCready
CEO & Co-founder
Music Xray

___________________________________

From: Paul Natkin
Subject: Re: Neal Preston

Hey Bob,

A quick Neal Preston story. When Van Halen hired Sammy Hagar as their lead singer, it was a major story. So, I got a call from Neal telling me that People magazine had hired him to photograph the opening night of the
tour in Southern Wisconsin. He was flying in and out of Chicago and driving to
the show. He suggested that we should get together for lunch the morning after
the show, before he flew back home. I readily agreed, as I don?t see my friends
in the business very often, living in Chicago. The day before the show, I got a
call from Rolling Stone Magazine asking me to shoot the second day of the
tour, in Chicago. Synchronicity! We would have a lot to talk about. At about 11PM on the night of Neal?s show in Wisconsin, my phone rang. It was Neal, telling me that the band had offered him a horrible contract to sign (ironically
about the same as most large touring bands offer today) and he had told them what they could do with the contract, and that he would tell People to cancel the story.He was calling me from O'Hare, getting ready to get on a red-eye home.

So..armed with that info, I called Rolling Stone the next day and asked them to back me up the same way that People backed Neal up. I went out to the show, expecting to not sign the contract and go home, which is what I tried to do! As I was getting into my car, the road manager ran after me and said that Ed Leffler, the bands manager wanted to talk to me. So I went back inside and Ed asked me- "What?s wrong with the contract?" My answer
was- "All of it!"

So, after going through the whole contract and scratching out and initialing each scratched out paragraph, we came to the last paragraph, which said that photographers cannot use flash during the show. Although I don?t use flash when shooting, I wanted to make a clean sweep of the contract, so I told Ed that I had photographed VH and Sammy many times in the past with no no-flash rule. He said "Let's go and talk to Eddie." So we trooped down to a small dingy rehearsal room and walked in to Eddie VH practicing. Ed asked him about photographers using flash and Eddies response was "They can do anything
they want."

So we walked out of the room and Ed turned to me, ripped up the contract and threw it in a nearby garbage can and said "Do anything you
f___king want."

In closing, I think the question Neal needs to be asked is- How much is he shooting now, and isn?t it a shame that one of the most amazing photographers of our generation would not be allowed to photograph most of the major acts out there in 2013. I consider myself to be one of Neal's contemporaries, and my photography activity has been cut to about 10% of what it was ten years ago, because I took a lead from Neal Preston and Jim Marshall and stood up for the right to take GOOD pictures, not just pictures!

Paul Natkin
Www.natkin.net

___________________________________

From: Jonathan Gross
Subject: Paul Anka

Bobby,

Thirty years ago I was the rock critic for the Toronto Sun dealing mostly in the punk and new wave beat. I was reluctantly sent to review a Paul Anka show at a summer shed and took the opportunity to invite my grandmother who was a serious Paul Anka fan well into her 80s. I had two tickets in the first row and backstage and parking passage so this make her grandson look okay in her eyes. We get to the show and since I had to file (one of those old modem briefcase dealies) to make the morning paper I could only catch about half the concert. I told my grandmother to come backstage after it was over. I think I even photographed the show and threw a couple of rolls into a cab.

Anyway, I file about twelve paragraphs tossing in some critical observations about the Canadian icon because I was such an expert. I was working in a 'green room' of sorts and when I came downstairs I found my grandmother sitting by the dressing room door with a bouquet of roses.

"Paul gave them to me. We're invited to his birthday party." At that point she looked about 18. Sure enough we went to a tent and there was a cake and my grandmother was right beside The Not So Lonely Boy as he blew out the candles. I will not forget that moment.

It gets better.

I get into the office the next day, sit down at my terminal and the phone rings.

'Hey Jonathan, it's Paul Anka. Just calling to personally thank you for coming to the show. I really enjoyed your review and I take your comments seriously."

I then thanked him for being so nice to my grandmother, a complete stranger and he was more than gracious.

I reviewed hundred of concerts back in the day. Paul Anka was the only artist who ever thanked me for showing up, let alone give a dozen roses to my grandmother, alev asholom.

Menschkite.

JG

___________________________________

Subject: Re: Lefsetz Letter from yesterday.

Dear Bob,

As you know, from our past correspondence, I am a huge fan and follower of your work. Thank you for the mention in your current page of April 19th in conjunction with my dear and close buddy Jerry Weintraub. He is indeed all of that...and more! You can't know someone 55 years, as I do with him, and not know that he is the real deal! His support and many others recently have culminated with the news I received from the New York Times, where my book My Way, will enter at number 6 on the New York Times Bestseller List. My love for Jerry is well chronicled in the book. If you're interested, we will send you a copy. Again, thank you for all of your good work. Your solid assessments of this music business that's getting crazier by the day, unfortunately. But, in time, it will land on its feet and be bigger than ever because music is the magic link.

Respectfully yours,

Paul Anka


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Tuesday 23 April 2013

My Birthday

You want a #19.

I have birthday traditions. You know how institutions of higher learning have all those rules you've got to follow for no good reason other than everybody before you did the same damn thing? Well, I'm my own stuff-shirted traditionalist, it all hearkens back to...

1977.

Yup, that's when I went to Langer's and on to C.C. Brown's and "Annie Hall" on my birthday.

That's the tradition, hot pastrami, hot fudge sundae and a movie...or two or three.

Langer's?

What kind of country do we live in where the best pastrami sandwich is not in New York but Los Angeles?

Yes, all the critics agree. It's the hand-cut meat. The rye bread.

And the cole slaw, Swiss cheese and Russian dressing.

Huh? How can you taste all those flavors, that's a mishmash akin to an everything bagel!

Only it's not.

I worked my way up to the #19, Langer's legendary sandwich.

At first I only got the pastrami, then the swiss cheese, then I remembered the sandwiches in the mountains, i.e. the Catskills, with cole slaw, and I went for the whole shebang and that's what I have every April 22nd, the #19. And it couldn't have been better yesterday.

And just because I was overdoing it, I had the crinkly fries too. Or should I say KRINKLY fries? And of course a Dr. Brown's Black Cherry. Come on, you can't eat at the deli without it.

And the Russian dressing is oozing out of the sandwich, but the crunch of the bread is so satisfying, it's a modern mouth orgasm and a return to my youth all at once.

As for the movies...

The best movie ever made is "Godfather II." Argue with me, I don't care.

But my favorite is "Annie Hall." Because that's how life is. The nebbishes make it on their personality. And every desirable woman is insecure inside, it goes with the territory, i.e. humanity! If you don't quote "Annie Hall" on a regular basis, you haven't seen it! Come on, WE NEED THE EGGS!

But it's not 1977 anymore. It's hard to find a decent movie in the theatre.

So we went to see "In The House."

I'm not afraid of subtitles. Although we were so close that looking from them to the images was kinda difficult. And I can't recommend "In The House," but I will tell you that French movies are so different from American ones. They're concerned with issues of existence. The unexamined life is not worth living in France.

And when it was over we promptly bought tickets to see "42." Because it was there. And it started at the right time. And it was hokey, but meaningful.

Trailblazers have haters.

And haters gain their strength from numbers. Hell, everybody else is doing it, I'm afraid not to!

And nowhere is everyday hating as prominent as on the web. If you can't take it, you're not gonna make it. Everybody's trying to drag you down into the hole they're in. Resist it. Stay out of the gutter. You can make it if you really want, but you must try, try and try, try and try, to succeed at last.

And from there to Carvel.

Normally we go to Ben & Jerry's.

But I was already stuffed from all the popcorn I ate. And I was thinking of passing, but traditions are traditions.

First and foremost the server had laryngitis, it was like being in a bad Buster Keaton movie, but if you haven't experienced the creaminess of Carvel you're in for a treat. And the hot fudge was divine!

Oh, and did I tell you that upon hearing it was my birthday at Langer's they gave me a free piece of cheesecake, and the waiter sang to me?

Yup.

That's the TLC of an establishment in existence for almost a century.

And then I was worn out.

But I don't work on my birthday.

So I fired up the television and watched "Deadliest Catch." It was fascinating to hear the Hillstrand backstory. But what I love is how they're married to their boat. You've got to be married to your work to be successful today. It's got nothing to do with cell phones and accessibility, it's got to do with effort. On a planet with billions, only he or she who dedicates and practices triumphs. And it's sweet reward. But never enough. Isn't that funny, work wins never last, whereas personal ones do.

And then I watched the Louis C.K. special. The ending was phenomenal, but the forty-odd minutes before that?

That's what I hate about the hype, no one can say anything negative. I loved Louis on Stern. But I didn't love his TV show or his special. And that's what people hate about me, that I just can't get with the program and give mediocre a pass. But I'm searching for excellence, like a #19 or "Annie Hall" or C.C. Brown's!

They say they invented the hot fudge sundae there, but I don't believe it. And it's gone now. But it used to be on Hollywood Blvd. And it was overpriced. But every sundae came with its own pitcher of hot fudge, par excellence. It was a delicious taste treat that would be featured on Triple-D if it was still around.

That's what we're looking for, the out of the way experience that makes us feel individual and alive. Sure, Disneyland is fine, but when you can stare into the distance from the promontory, taking in the sunset alone or with your loved one, that's when you feel most alive.
And when you eat a #19.

http://www.langersdeli.com (scroll down to see the picture of endless #19s!)


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Constant Creation

Here today, gone tomorrow. That's the modern paradigm. When what you want to do is stay in the public eye, in people's minds, you don't want to be forgotten. That is why the album format is working against you.

1. If you're making an album-length statement, a story, a concept, go for it. But twelve tracks strung together is not a concept.

2. If you're an itinerant musician and you want something to sell at shows, a CD fits the bill. But you could always assemble ten or twelve songs into a CD for this purpose.

There's just too much information. And no matter how big a story you've got, you can be trumped by somebody else or just plowed under by the detritus coming down the pike. Your album is in the rearview mirror only moments after it's been released. Look at the top of the SoundScan chart, it's new product all the time. Illustrating that that's what the public wants, new stuff! And you keep peddling the old!

Don't blame the old men at the labels. They're beholden to the artists. Just like the artists are responsible for ticket fees, they're responsible for the inane album format. Because they've got no vision. Toting out their long-playing favorites, from "Sgt. Pepper" to "Dark Side Of The Moon," they say they're just following in a long tradition. I'm saying they're just making music a second-class citizen, by being so lost in the past.

You've got to create constantly now. That's they only way you can stay in the public eye!

Radio is Las Vegas. A few people get lucky, a few win the jackpot.

But most don't.

Hone your track with its twelve writers, spoon-feed it to radio, be part of the dying game.

Or release music constantly in order to maintain your presence in your audience's brain.

Look at the public. Used to be mail came once a day. You got it when you arrived home. Then, you could only check e-mail with a wired connection. Now, you go to dinner and everybody's on their phone, constantly. They just cannot stand being disconnected.

But that's what you are. Disconnected from your audience.

They're not tweeting about your latest release, because it was MONTHS AGO!

It's almost like you're making a movie. You know, something that plays in the theatre for a week or two, and just when word of mouth gets you interested, it's gone!

But let's forget about the movie business, which is challenged so greatly and doesn't realize it. Let's focus on music.

The number one thing a fan wants is more music by his favorite act. But rather than deliver said music, today's bands put out an album and then lay low for a few years, while their functionaries try to convince everybody who doesn't care that they should. Forget about the new audience, focus on the old. The old will sell you to the new. If you satiate them.

And the way you do this is via new music.

But it's not only music. It's connection.

You think you're gaining traction by hanging with the program director?

IDIOT!

You're better off answering e-mail, responding on Facebook, making news on Twitter. There's no thrill like getting a Twitter response from your hero. You tell everybody you know. Virality is rampant. But the old farts would rather get a story about a tour in the newspaper. Forget the newspaper, that's where news goes to die, it's there last. News is for today, tomorrow is for brand new news.

And perfection is history.

How do we know?

Because Reese Witherspoon acted out in Georgia and we all knew in hours, if not minutes. She's too stupid to come out and say, HEY, I WAS DRUNK! But actors are phonies and musicians are real. Cop to the facts. State the truth. That's what bonds you to your fans. You've got the ability to connect directly, but you keep complaining the new way is not like the old way and you just can't get paid.

I've got news for you, it's gonna get worse.

There's gonna be nowhere to buy a CD. And the world is gonna go to streaming. And people are gonna cherry-pick their favorites. And there's nothing you can do about it other than make phenomenal music, which your album is not, there hasn't been an album playable throughout since Cat Stevens became Yusuf Islam.

Oh, you get the point.

There's a giant disconnect!

It's not the media's job to keep you in the public eye, it's yours!

They call it the NEWSPAPER, and despite my complaint that so much of what's inside is old, it's not old by months, that's right, they don't call it the OLDPAPER, so the odds of them writing about your album months after release are essentially nil.

We live in a direct to consumer society.

Amazon knows it.

Google knows it.

Apple knows it.

But somehow musicians don't know it. They want someone else to do the work for them. They don't want to take risks, they don't want to fail, they don't want to try new ways.

The new way is you bond to your fan. If he or she doesn't think you're living in their house, you're doing it wrong.


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Sunday 21 April 2013

Neal Preston

"I probably partied harder with REO Speedwagon."

That's what Neal Preston, photographer extraordinaire, said when I asked him what it was like riding on the Starship, Led Zeppelin's legendary private jet. He said there were no groupies, very little coke, the main activity on the plane was SLEEP! That was another of Mr. Preston's aphorisms, "Sleep is underrated!" He never got enough of it, no one did. Maybe two hours a night.

And you wonder why everybody's on drugs. (They may not have been partaking on the Starship, but everywhere else...)

With the Internet and cable TV, our nation has become homogenized, but every once in a while you have one of those experiences that sets L.A. apart. Like yesterday, when I ascended into the hills to Preston's house. Surrounded by canyons, with a view across the San Fernando Valley, this hilltop perch is right next door to...Anna Nicole Smith's pad, where they shot her reality show. That's L.A. Where few are behind gates and you can be famous but seen shopping at Ralphs.

So Neal grows up in Forest Hills and starts bringing his camera to shows and meets Gary Kurfirst and Shelly Finkel. And they allow him into their shows at the Singer Bowl and he hones his chops and instead of going to college he follows a girl to Los Angeles and as they say, the rest is history.

He gets a partner and they get a staff contract with Atlantic. He becomes best friends with Cameron Crowe and accompanies him on his "Rolling Stone" adventures. And he tells Danny Goldberg he wants to go on the road with Led Zeppelin, and months later he gets the call, he's good to go.

Now you might think this is the dream of a lifetime. And it is, if you're a music fan and have the constitution of a Navy Seal. Listening to Neal's stories and reading his new iBook, you're first and foremost impressed how much WORK was involved. We see the stars having fun, but not only do you have to earn your exalted position, there's no such thing as teleportation, you've got to journey to all those arenas, you've got to come down from the adulation, you're living in the eye of a hurricane with no perspective. Hopefully enduring the twenty-odd hours when you're not on stage. Which are brutal.

"I've been around the world fifteen times, but I haven't seen a thing."

Oh, Neal walked on the Great Wall of China for twenty minutes, but he was so busy doing his gig, all he saw were hotel rooms, limos and arenas. He wants to go back, to Italy, to Russia, where he shot Billy Joel's show, before he dies. And he's not going to bring his camera. He never does. Otherwise it wouldn't be a VACATION!

So we're upstairs in the fading afternoon light, reviewing decades of rock history, and I'm reminded why I came to L.A., for this feeling, of not doing but living. Talking. In casual clothing. In a place where where you went to college is less important than how well you get along.

And then we went down two flights of stairs to the vault.

I saw pictures of Springsteen that would blow your mind. All the musicians. They were so YOUNG!

That was a very long time ago. When rock stars ruled the earth. When they were as rich as anybody and international heroes.

Like Led Zeppelin.

They were too successful. That's what Danny Goldberg says in the iBook. FM radio blew them up and the elder statesman rock journalists backlashed. Yes, Danny had a brilliant insight, every three or four years is another musical generation, because that's how long high school lasts. So pissed, Zeppelin cut off access to the press. Until in the early seventies they hired Danny, and he hired Neal.

And they weren't the only ones. There was the promo person turned artist relations maven Daniel Markus with the worn out American Express card and the rolling papers with his initials imprinted upon them. And Janine Safer Whitney, the book's secret weapon, who dropped out of Swarthmore to join the rock and roll circus. She'd booked the Pretty Things for a gig, and when they canceled claiming visa issues, she used a connection to the State Department to get them clearance. But it was all a ruse, there was no impediment. It was all a Swan Song lie. And when she called the office to complain, after ranting on and on, she was given a job.

But there weren't many. It was a lean operation. Four musicians onstage, very few on the Starship. It wasn't about the entourage, but money...and power.

And it was all masterminded by a retired wrestler with a big belly known as Peter Grant.

He believed in mystique, in restricted access. It was his band, all access went through him, he was the manager. You know the acts, but behind each and every one is a brilliant mastermind. Read the credits.

And the band raped and pillaged for a decade, before the irascible John Bonham expired. And everyone's been at loose ends ever since.

Jimmy Page never regained his footing.

John Paul Jones receded even further into the background.

Robert Plant had a middling solo career and then repeated the Zeppelin formula with Alison Krauss, giving people not what they wanted, but what they needed.

And Peter Grant passed away.

And the music lived on.

And when music infects you, you want to get closer.

And despite my incessant questioning of Mr. Preston yesterday, I learned very little. Because it's not observers who get these gigs, but workers. The musicians create, everybody else plays a role. Want to work for the band? Have no opinion and keep your lips tight. If you can't get along, if you can't keep a secret, we don't want you.

And it was all a very long time ago. Neal's since shot Nancy Kerrigan, the Olympics, a ton of stuff for "People."

But that's all news.

Led Zeppelin was art. And it's art that remains.

And it's not only the music, it's the images.

These were truly rock gods. But instead of relying on a hand-me-down book generations old, the music is still pristine, and Preston's images shock us into the past, we confront what once was and forever will be.

http://www.prestonpictures.com

"Led Zeppelin: Sound And Fury by Neal Preston": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JEteqH7vUM


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Boston

I stole things.

Or as my father would say, I LIBERATED THEM!

That's a term we used back in the sixties. It permeated the culture, kind of like "bling" and "baby mama" do today. Petty theft was seen as a way of sticking it to the man. But the stuff I stole would have no value to most people. I loved trail signs.

More archaic than today, less formulaic and more unique, ski trail signs were nailed to trees, and if you hiked up the mountain in the middle of summer, it was free pickings.

But not anymore.

You can steal stuff today, but you're gonna get CAUGHT!

What did they say ten years ago, 9/11 changed everything?

Well that didn't turn out to be true. But technology did.

Watching this week's shenanigans in Boston was like having a ringside seat at the best movie ever made. One that reached out from the screen and scared you, just ask the people in Watertown.

It started with the information. Used to be you had to wait until the next day, at school or work. Or there was an interruption on television. But now you turn on your smartphone and something incomprehensible is transpiring. When I boarded the plane in Denver it was a slow, snowy day. When I landed in L.A, the sun was shining and all hell had broken loose. I was jumping from e-mail to tweet to newspaper site, what exactly was going on?

And my initial reaction was it wasn't Muslim terrorists. I figured it was right wing crazies, a la Oklahoma City, I mean does the Boston Marathon fly on the radar screen of the Middle East?

But the nature of modern day America is you jump to conclusions. Especially on television, where the "news" channels do no reporting and all the talking heads do is bloviate. But I'm sophisticated enough to know how unsophisticated I truly am. I was sure Richard Jewell was responsible for the Olympic bombing in Hot Lanta. Come on, he was nervous and fidgety and he looked the part! I used to believe in the knee-jerk reaction, instant judgment. Ah, youth. But life is complicated and the longer you live the less you know, you realize that very rarely is the world cut and dried and you've got to keep foraging for information. If you're not surprised on a regular basis, you're not alive.

And the first surprise came Thursday night, when they revealed the bombers' pictures.

Huh?

They looked like no one was watching. They'd seen too many movies. They thought there was nothing better than hiding in plain sight, acting like you're innocent.

But that doesn't work anymore.

In other words, if you're going to break the law, if you're going to commit a heinous crime, be prepared to die. Because the odds of escaping are close to nil, because now we've got CAMERAS!

Forget the ATMs, the security cameras attached to buildings, it was the casual snaps that delivered the definitive information. Instead of one Zapruder film, we can piece together seemingly any live event via crowdsourcing. P2P and social networks are not only for copyright infringement...

And then there was the Reddit thread. Wherein they identified one of the perps.

Only they didn't. But to watch it play out in real time was mind-blowing. I couldn't sleep for following the thread, was it really Sunil from Brown? Who'd disappeared and gone underground to commit this awful crime?

Turned out it wasn't. But blind alleys are de rigueur in law enforcement. If you're not willing to make mistakes, if you're not willing to fail, you'll never solve the mystery.

In other words, we were all in it together. Whether monitoring police scanners or sifting through websites, the entire country was focused on capturing the men in the photograph. And we got them.

Thank god. Hopefully the younger brother will live and we'll get some answers.

But it ain't your papa's world anymore. It's not even the twentieth century. Crime could be eradicated in our lifetimes. Well, not exactly, but unless you're willing to sacrifice your life or want to get caught, you're gonna hew to the straight and narrow.

You've given up your privacy.

Now you've got to manage your behavior. You're building your resume from the instant you can type. Employers and universities will be combing for bad behavior. We live in "1984" already, it happened when we weren't watching.

And the right wing nuts believe they need arms to fight the government.

You're better off with a smartphone. Networking is more important than bullets. Information is king. The Man of the Year? It's inanimate, it's DATA!

Meanwhile, the movies have devolved to irrelevancy, fantastical creations focused on special effects with no credible connection to reality. While television knows it's all about story. And politicians are beholden to the NRA and big money not knowing that it's data that will trip them up.

What am I saying?

I'm not breaking any laws.

And most likely you aren't either.

If you want to do something wrong, do it in the privacy of your own home, alone, in the dark.

P.S. In 2004, Bush defeated Kerry by playing the gay marriage card. Just ask John Glenn, Ohio was the linchpin. And not even a decade later, gay marriage is flourishing. And we've got a black President. Everything we thought impossible has not only happened in our lifetimes, there's much more to come.

P.P.S. Ignorance is no longer an excuse. To be uninformed is to take yourself out of the equation. News comes from everywhere. Not only traditional outlets, but Twitter, websites, e-mail... Pre-internet most people were ignorant, you just didn't know it. Today many more people are clued-in. And he who harnesses data wins.


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