http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9a6WwT9LNJw
1. It's FANTASTIC!
2. Rule number one in today's online, media overload world is...YOU HAVE TO WANT TO PLAY IT AGAIN! And if you don't want to hear "Screw Driver" again as soon as it's over, you've got no genitals...and no ears.
3. That's the new definition of fantastic. It's a knee-jerk reaction. Not something contemplated and intellectualized, just a visceral response. Have I heard better tracks than this... OF COURSE! But life is worthless without the new. But in the land of overhype, we're constantly saying no. It's shocking and exciting to say YES!
4. This is the new paradigm. No advance hype. We're only interested in the track anyway. All that buildup for a first good week at SoundScan... That was always to impress retail, so they'd order more stock. Now physical retail is history and online there's UNLIMITED inventory! As for making a media splash...that's irrelevant too. It all comes down to where the rubber meets the road, the court of public opinion. And nothing you say or do can massage these listeners. That's just what they want to do...LISTEN!
5. Bowie had it wrong. His track had almost no repeatability, unless you were a fan who believed he could do no wrong, the converted. But play this for a nine year old who's clueless as to Prince, and they'll get it.
6. Maybe I'm too dumb to get "Suit & Tie." Maybe if I knew more and played it ten times I'd get it. But I don't know jack and I don't want to hear it again, so I'm out of the loop as to its genius, if it's got any. If you're gonna break the rules, do something new, deliver something unexpected, it's got to be a 10...otherwise stay with the tried and true.
7. It's not rap. And it's not beat-driven drivel. It's retro and modern at the same time. And it's more rock than disco. Sure, it's got a driving beat, but this is more rock and roll than anything on "Dirty Mind."
8. Thirty seconds. That's how much you get if you're a superstar. If you're a newbie or a hack, you get maybe ten. The verse starts off interesting, a bit better than so-so, then there's the undeniable hook sixteen seconds in. If you don't melt when you hear it, you wouldn't sweat in hell.
9. And let's not let the cheesy backup vocals in the hook go by without notice. Sure, it's Prince's signature sound, but he hasn't been relevant on record in eons. In a world where everything's processed and perfect, Prince's record sounds positively human.
10. You're reading the lyrics and then...you see the video of the band! There's no band on the Top Forty, there's no band on "American Idol" or "The Voice," but here's the best live performer of the modern era showing us how it's really done, just a bunch of musicians in the garage, grooving on the power of playing, knowing first and foremost it's about FUN! Come on, the girl drummer in the hat... She's not mugging for the camera, she's not radiating sex, she's radiating MUSIC! And there's nothing sexier than that. J. Lo is for the cameras, she's two-dimensional, this woman could actually have a discussion with you.
11. The instrumental after the hook! He's breaking all the rules! You're supposed to go right back into the verse. This is the way you rehearse, not the way you record. But it allows the listener to get locked into the music, the groove.
12. I'M UR DRIVER, UR MY SCREW! Reminiscent of nothing so much as Bryan Adams' "The Only Thing That Looks Good On Me Is You." But with even a deeper sexual connotation. That's Prince, walking right up to the line and dancing upon it. On one hand the words are innocent, on the other they're OOZING with sexuality!
13. The second hook, which is so subtle...SCREW YOU! He puts it right out there, this is where he crosses the aforementioned line.
14. The Beach Boys guitar. Yup, it's right there. Straight off a surf record. The sounds, the whole record is positively retro, yet completely modern!
15. The hats! He's from MINNESOTA! It's cold. Instead of being everyman, he's locating the band...roots are important!
16. PEOPLE PAY $ 4 THE ROCK N ROLL! Rock is not dead, it's just lacking energy, a hit song. Its savior just showed up. What kind of crazy world do we live in where the best rapper is white and the best rocker is black!
17. WE GOT A LONG LONG WAY 2 GO. Huh? In a world that's here today and gone tomorrow, where you don't even want a two year old phone, Prince is saying it's about ongoing relationships, that the dividend comes from continuance? This is contrary to everything in our mechanized society, but it's the truth, it's real.
18. SHARING STORIES AND COOL CLOTHES. That's what relationships are all about! Come on, you know how it is, especially early in your history, when your girlfriend wears your shirt, that means SHE LOVES YOU!
19. THIS IS WHAT LIFE IS LIKE ON THE ROAD. That's where Prince has been, for years. Everybody else talks about it, makes videos about it, but Prince truly lives it, you feel that this is a message from the caravan. Remember when your dream was to run away with the rock and roll circus? If listening to this track doesn't make you want to join the safari, you don't belong in this business, you're not a fan.
20. MUSIC NEVER LIES U KNOW IT'S TRUE. I'd disagree with this. GREAT music never lies. But we haven't had that spirit here since... There ain't a single lie or calculation in this song, just pure honesty and exuberance, a man with talent willing us, demanding us, to pay attention.
21. It's too long! It shouldn't have the instrumental section at the end. That's what happens when everybody believes there are rules. Did you see today's viral video: "I Fight Dragons Music Business Case Study - 1 song, 7.5 writers, 18+ versions": http://bit.ly/WagCDI A great artist doesn't believe in rules, to quote that old seer Donald Fagen..."I cried when I wrote this song, sue me if I play too long."
22. Can you imagine being at the gig? When Prince starts playing this? THE AUDIENCE IS GONNA GO NUTS! You can't sit still listening to "Screw Driver" at home, imagine hearing it live! With all those sweating bodies, the power of the music flowing from your fingers to your toes... There's nothing like seeing your favorite band playing their big hit of the moment, it's just shy of an orgasm. And when it's a driving, physical anthem, the experience is TRANSCENDENT!
23. Prince has been clueless for so long. But one thing Prince has never stopped doing is creating, writing and playing new music. And he's put out so much that we thought we were burned out, that we no longer cared, that he was done, toast. But that's not true. We're always open to something incredible from the legends. But unlike Prince, most legends are afraid of the audience, they're so busy getting it right that they polish new stuff to perfection and we can't identify, or don't bother to put out anything at all.
24. "Screw Driver" is not timeless, it's just for now...AND THAT'S WHAT'S SO GREAT ABOUT IT!
P.S. If the above link no longer works, go here: http://20pr1nc3.com and click on the leftmost image.
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Friday 25 January 2013
Apple
Too much bloviating about nothing.
Either Cook, et al, deliver a breakthrough product, create a whole new stream of revenue, or Apple becomes Microsoft, a continuing moneymaker, but hardly cutting edge.
OK. You're an investor. You wanna know where to put your money. For nearly a decade, Apple was a secret hiding in plain sight, it only went up, hell, it even rebounded after the 2008 crash. But now it's the highflier, everybody's clued in, and the company's managed as if it's an independent startup and the Street is trying to tear it down like RadarOnline picking at Taylor Swift for screwing too many guys. I get it, she's famous. If she were twenty three and unknown, we'd be giving her kudos for playing the field before marriage, besting the men at their game. But since she's a superstar, our goal is to bring her down. And she bites back. Hell, she even wrote a song about me!
But she won't be doing that anymore. The public won't stand for it. Taylor Swift burned out her paradigm.
And Apple's stealth strategy has gone by the wayside too. There's just too much information. Hell, did you see that report on MacRumors today, repeated all over the web, about a new iPad and a low-cost iPhone? Even before his untimely death Steve Jobs could no longer maintain secrecy. Because these products are no longer built by one company, alone in a skunkworks, but by a plethora of component makers, some of whom talk. If you think Apple can prevent leaks, you probably believe the government is riddled with conspiracies. But that's not true, someone always speaks, the truth outs.
Everybody wants what's cool. People want to attach themselves to that which has momentum. By removing itself from the dialogue, Apple is hurting sales. Let's see, do I buy an iPhone or a Galaxy? Wait, I read in the paper that Apple's stock is tanking, everybody's talking about Galaxy features! Facts are irrelevant, the perception is that Samsung is the comer and Apple is the loser, despite Apple scoring the fourth biggest quarter in the history of any company!
Richard Gere didn't have to respond to gerbil rumors, he wasn't selling himself so much as the movies he was in, which are dependent upon writing, cinematography...hell, it was a very short window within which he could open a film. But Apple's computers and iPhones and iPads ARE the product. Tim Cook has to protect them. But he keeps going on an endless victory lap, telling us to trust him, when we don't even trust the President. Ain't that America, we're all from Missouri these days, we all live in the SHOW ME STATE!
Apple's stock run-up was as a result of the iPod, iPhone and iPad. If they don't come up with the iWhatever, it's over. Is that a mystery? Isn't that just like a band? Without a hit new album live business never goes UP! There's still money to be made by a classic act on the road, but if U2's next album stiffs, they ain't gonna be selling out stadiums.
It's what have you done for me lately.
And lately, Apple's been selling a ton of product. Despite all the naysayers, it's all cutting edge.
But that won't be forever.
Want to know what Apple's future is? YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO WAIT!
Just like you're gonna have to wait for Bowie's album, and Justin Timberlake's.
Then again, Apple hasn't been gone from the arena for half a decade. But it acts like it has. Like the company's above it all. Once upon a time, Steely Dan didn't have to tour. But things change. Record sales tank, lives are altered, the band survives on the road today.
Steve Jobs is dead. Secrecy and lack of information are an historical paradigm. As dead as the Apple II.
Apple needs to change its style.
Even more it needs a new hit product.
We're watching.
"Apple Shares Down 11 Percent on Fourth-Most-Profitable Quarter Posted by Any Company Ever": http://dthin.gs/14dLQwj
"iPad 5 Set for October Debut with Design Similar to iPad Mini? iPhone 5S and Lower-Cost iPhone Moving Forward": http://bit.ly/V4i1dO
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Either Cook, et al, deliver a breakthrough product, create a whole new stream of revenue, or Apple becomes Microsoft, a continuing moneymaker, but hardly cutting edge.
OK. You're an investor. You wanna know where to put your money. For nearly a decade, Apple was a secret hiding in plain sight, it only went up, hell, it even rebounded after the 2008 crash. But now it's the highflier, everybody's clued in, and the company's managed as if it's an independent startup and the Street is trying to tear it down like RadarOnline picking at Taylor Swift for screwing too many guys. I get it, she's famous. If she were twenty three and unknown, we'd be giving her kudos for playing the field before marriage, besting the men at their game. But since she's a superstar, our goal is to bring her down. And she bites back. Hell, she even wrote a song about me!
But she won't be doing that anymore. The public won't stand for it. Taylor Swift burned out her paradigm.
And Apple's stealth strategy has gone by the wayside too. There's just too much information. Hell, did you see that report on MacRumors today, repeated all over the web, about a new iPad and a low-cost iPhone? Even before his untimely death Steve Jobs could no longer maintain secrecy. Because these products are no longer built by one company, alone in a skunkworks, but by a plethora of component makers, some of whom talk. If you think Apple can prevent leaks, you probably believe the government is riddled with conspiracies. But that's not true, someone always speaks, the truth outs.
Everybody wants what's cool. People want to attach themselves to that which has momentum. By removing itself from the dialogue, Apple is hurting sales. Let's see, do I buy an iPhone or a Galaxy? Wait, I read in the paper that Apple's stock is tanking, everybody's talking about Galaxy features! Facts are irrelevant, the perception is that Samsung is the comer and Apple is the loser, despite Apple scoring the fourth biggest quarter in the history of any company!
Richard Gere didn't have to respond to gerbil rumors, he wasn't selling himself so much as the movies he was in, which are dependent upon writing, cinematography...hell, it was a very short window within which he could open a film. But Apple's computers and iPhones and iPads ARE the product. Tim Cook has to protect them. But he keeps going on an endless victory lap, telling us to trust him, when we don't even trust the President. Ain't that America, we're all from Missouri these days, we all live in the SHOW ME STATE!
Apple's stock run-up was as a result of the iPod, iPhone and iPad. If they don't come up with the iWhatever, it's over. Is that a mystery? Isn't that just like a band? Without a hit new album live business never goes UP! There's still money to be made by a classic act on the road, but if U2's next album stiffs, they ain't gonna be selling out stadiums.
It's what have you done for me lately.
And lately, Apple's been selling a ton of product. Despite all the naysayers, it's all cutting edge.
But that won't be forever.
Want to know what Apple's future is? YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO WAIT!
Just like you're gonna have to wait for Bowie's album, and Justin Timberlake's.
Then again, Apple hasn't been gone from the arena for half a decade. But it acts like it has. Like the company's above it all. Once upon a time, Steely Dan didn't have to tour. But things change. Record sales tank, lives are altered, the band survives on the road today.
Steve Jobs is dead. Secrecy and lack of information are an historical paradigm. As dead as the Apple II.
Apple needs to change its style.
Even more it needs a new hit product.
We're watching.
"Apple Shares Down 11 Percent on Fourth-Most-Profitable Quarter Posted by Any Company Ever": http://dthin.gs/14dLQwj
"iPad 5 Set for October Debut with Design Similar to iPad Mini? iPhone 5S and Lower-Cost iPhone Moving Forward": http://bit.ly/V4i1dO
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Rhinofy-Slippery When Wet
Credit Bruce Fairbairn.
Have you heard "Turn Me Loose" recently?
It's usually on Classic Rewind or '80s on 8. I'm drifting along, just minding my own business, in that fog you enter when you're behind the wheel, and then...
There's that ascending synth note. Takes forever. Kind of like a space launch. Then you've got liftoff and a series of bass notes and...a crunchy guitar that launched a zillion bedroom fantasies and after a full minute intro Mike Reno enters as if he RAN to the studio and starts singing. Meanwhile, the synth is still going, the bass is still pounding, and Mike screams and the choir of backup singers comes in on the chorus and that slashing guitar returns... "Turn Me Loose" is a masterpiece. Which shot up the chart because certain tracks are just undeniable. And sure, Loverboy went on to have more hits, eventually became a caricature of itself, but this debut was as strong as Bad Company's, as strong as ANYBODY'S! And it was produced by Bruce Fairbairn.
Ain't that Canada. They lead with their talent, which they honed over years in frigid gray weather. Whereas in the U.S. you lead with your mouth, and rarely have anything to back it up.
So Jon Bon Jovi is produced by his cousin and Lance Quinn and gets a bit of traction with "Runaway" on the initial LP, but then the whole thing goes sideways, the band increases its audience on the road, but there's little radio action. They decide to make a switch. They decamp from Tony Bongiovi's Power Station, where the Boss and the rest of the east coast legends made their records for...Vancouver. Where they were produced by Fairbairn and the tracks were mixed by Bob Rock and the result was... Fame and a three decade legacy.
You've got to understand. In 1986, the classic rockers still ruled. Sure, Duran Duran was on MTV, but the station was still worried about baby boomers. Bon Jovi broke that whole paradigm wide open. Suddenly, the boomers were passe and Generation X ruled.
It all came down to "You Give Love A Bad Name."
And sure, we could tolerate that on MTV, but once the band came out with "Livin' On A Prayer" as the follow-up single, even the most jaded of oldsters took notice, and some of them signed up and bought the album and discovered..."Wanted Dead Or Alive."
"Slippery When Wet" is imperfect, but its initial side is about as classic as they get. Except for the B-level "Social Disease," everything else is a stone cold smash.
And it all starts with "Let It Rock."
Now we can see the similarities between "Turn Me Loose" and "Let It Rock." But this was six years later, so much had changed, it was hard to make the connection. But today it's obvious right down to the full minute instrumental intro.
It's also like a space launch, or a fireworks display. The keyboard is like flashing lights, explosions atop the edifice. The intro says nothing so much as PAY ATTENTION! Hell, it DEMANDS ATTENTION!
And then...
"The weekend comes to this town
Seven days too soon
For the ones who have to make up
What we break up of their rules"
It's like a march. As if over the hill, coming up from the dale, is an army of twentysomethings here to steal the music business and your daughters along with it.
"Well I saw Captain Kidd on Sunset
Tell his boys they're in command
While Chino danced a tango
With a broomstick in his hand
He said: It's alright (alright) if you have a good time
It's alright (alright) if you want to cross that line
To break on through to the other side"
Sunset Strip culture. The home of hard rock, before Guns N' Roses got its victory lap. Where all the oddballs and weirdos marinated in their get-ups, not caring about the rest of society, this band from New Jersey just wrote their anthem.
"Let it rock, let it go
You can't stop a fire burning out of control
Let it rock, let it go
With the night you're on the loose
You got to let it rock"
The bass is pounding, your fist is pumping, all you can say is DAMN STRAIGHT! This is the essence of rock and roll. Rebellion and attitude meshed together. With a pounding bass beat, a stinging guitar and a vocal wail. ABSOLUTELY!
And then comes "You Give Love A Bad Name," putting the stake in the heart, nailing you to the floor, committing you to the band. Instead of slowing down, taking a break, balladeering, Bon Jovi amps up the intensity and goes FASTER!
And then comes "Livin' On A Prayer."
You remember the video. The one wherein Jon Bon Jovi flies over the audience.
They were so smart, to go for credibility, live performance at this point.
But what we've got to stop and make note of is...THIS IS WHERE BON JOVI GOT THE GIRLS!
That's what's keeping the band going. The female audience.
They love their bad boys. Especially the good-looking ones.
This wasn't Justin Bieber, no New Kids On The Block. This was a band, who would get you on the bus and give you the ride of your life! They knew how to write, they knew how to play and they knew how to... They were white hot.
And the track was just great.
With that pregnant synth intro. The irresistible bass line. And then the talk box, straight off of "Frampton Comes Alive," not that anybody under the age of twenty knew that.
"Tommy used to work on the docks"
Quite possibly the most famous lyric of the eighties. Well, we can throw in Michael Jackson's work, but this is the absolute paragon, the absolute peak.
"Union's been on strike
He's down on his luck...it's tough, so tough
Gina works the diner all day
Working for her man, she brings home her pay
For love - for love"
There's a whole STORY! It's an aural MOVIE! You can SEE IT!
"She says we've got to hold on to what we've got
'cause it doesn't make a difference
If we make it or not
We've got each other and that's a lot
For love - we'll give it a shot"
Do you think everybody at the show, today in 2013, won? OF COURSE NOT! But listening to "Livin' On A Prayer" they believe they did. Hell, they've got the joy of listening to this music!
And if you didn't sing along to the chorus, you didn't have the ability to speak.
And then came..."Wanted Dead Or Alive."
Sure, it was the label going in for the kill, cementing the legacy of the band, making the album go stratospheric, but at this point millions had already discovered the track, before it got airplay. "Wanted Dead Or Alive" is the essence of rock, the anthem. Even better than the aforementioned Bad Company's song about rock stardom, "Shooting Star"... It's the road piece de resistance. The Eagles wanted to be desperadoes, but it was Bon Jovi that nailed the western ethos.
"Sometimes I sleep, sometimes it's not for days
And the people I meet always go their separate ways
Sometimes you tell the day
By the bottle that you drink
And times when you're alone all you do is think"
THAT'S IT! You're on the road to stardom and the only ones with you are your band members on the bus. It's lonely, it's frustrating, you're sleep-deprived, it's hell, but you're doing it all in the service of rock and roll, for that moment on stage when you blow the audience away!
And that's what Richie does, when he wails on his guitar.
But even more it's the pure sound of the track. And the dynamics. Hear the intro and you're immediately taken to a western town for the movie of your dreams.
"Wanted Dead Or Alive" was not Bon Jovi's biggest hit of the era, but it's their biggest hit decades on. It's the soundtrack of "Deadliest Catch" because it connotes being alone, just you against the world, and that's the story for all of us.
And side two opens with "Raise Your Hand," a variation on "Let It Rock" without being repetitious. And ultimately there's the ballad, "Never Say Goodbye," but the problem is the first side is so damn good. Seemingly only the Beatles could sustain this quality level through both sides of an album. Furthermore, we were still listening on vinyl, on cassettes. We'd get stuck on one side!
Then again, both sides of "Back In Black" were just as good, phenomenal.
But that album is a great example. AC/DC had been working for years, had its breakthrough moment, and couldn't repeat it. Despite working with Mutt Lange on its follow-up album. Bruce Fairbairn produced 1988's "New Jersey," which I bought without hearing first, but I was even more disappointed than I was with "For Those About To Rock (We Salute You)". "Lay Your Hands On Me" was good...but from there it was downhill.
You see Bon Jovi was working so hard to make it, that once they did...they had nothing left to say. The hunger was gone. They were stars. NOW WHAT?
Well, Bon Jovi went solo and essentially rerecorded "Wanted Dead Or Alive," but called it "Blaze Of Glory," and it was just about as successful, because the original was just that damn good. It's kind of like buying a Ferrari and then upgrading to the newest model, what could be wrong...IT'S A FERRARI!
And then the band got back together and Jon acted and the music continued to be generic.
They tried country, they tried everything.
But nothing measured up to "Slippery When Wet."
But that's enough. To sell out arenas, even stadiums.
Because if you want to relive 1986, if you want to know what it was like way back then...
You play "Slippery When Wet."
Spotify link: http://spoti.fi/p6HcZ8
Previous Rhinofy playlists: http://www.rhinofy.com/lefsetz
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Have you heard "Turn Me Loose" recently?
It's usually on Classic Rewind or '80s on 8. I'm drifting along, just minding my own business, in that fog you enter when you're behind the wheel, and then...
There's that ascending synth note. Takes forever. Kind of like a space launch. Then you've got liftoff and a series of bass notes and...a crunchy guitar that launched a zillion bedroom fantasies and after a full minute intro Mike Reno enters as if he RAN to the studio and starts singing. Meanwhile, the synth is still going, the bass is still pounding, and Mike screams and the choir of backup singers comes in on the chorus and that slashing guitar returns... "Turn Me Loose" is a masterpiece. Which shot up the chart because certain tracks are just undeniable. And sure, Loverboy went on to have more hits, eventually became a caricature of itself, but this debut was as strong as Bad Company's, as strong as ANYBODY'S! And it was produced by Bruce Fairbairn.
Ain't that Canada. They lead with their talent, which they honed over years in frigid gray weather. Whereas in the U.S. you lead with your mouth, and rarely have anything to back it up.
So Jon Bon Jovi is produced by his cousin and Lance Quinn and gets a bit of traction with "Runaway" on the initial LP, but then the whole thing goes sideways, the band increases its audience on the road, but there's little radio action. They decide to make a switch. They decamp from Tony Bongiovi's Power Station, where the Boss and the rest of the east coast legends made their records for...Vancouver. Where they were produced by Fairbairn and the tracks were mixed by Bob Rock and the result was... Fame and a three decade legacy.
You've got to understand. In 1986, the classic rockers still ruled. Sure, Duran Duran was on MTV, but the station was still worried about baby boomers. Bon Jovi broke that whole paradigm wide open. Suddenly, the boomers were passe and Generation X ruled.
It all came down to "You Give Love A Bad Name."
And sure, we could tolerate that on MTV, but once the band came out with "Livin' On A Prayer" as the follow-up single, even the most jaded of oldsters took notice, and some of them signed up and bought the album and discovered..."Wanted Dead Or Alive."
"Slippery When Wet" is imperfect, but its initial side is about as classic as they get. Except for the B-level "Social Disease," everything else is a stone cold smash.
And it all starts with "Let It Rock."
Now we can see the similarities between "Turn Me Loose" and "Let It Rock." But this was six years later, so much had changed, it was hard to make the connection. But today it's obvious right down to the full minute instrumental intro.
It's also like a space launch, or a fireworks display. The keyboard is like flashing lights, explosions atop the edifice. The intro says nothing so much as PAY ATTENTION! Hell, it DEMANDS ATTENTION!
And then...
"The weekend comes to this town
Seven days too soon
For the ones who have to make up
What we break up of their rules"
It's like a march. As if over the hill, coming up from the dale, is an army of twentysomethings here to steal the music business and your daughters along with it.
"Well I saw Captain Kidd on Sunset
Tell his boys they're in command
While Chino danced a tango
With a broomstick in his hand
He said: It's alright (alright) if you have a good time
It's alright (alright) if you want to cross that line
To break on through to the other side"
Sunset Strip culture. The home of hard rock, before Guns N' Roses got its victory lap. Where all the oddballs and weirdos marinated in their get-ups, not caring about the rest of society, this band from New Jersey just wrote their anthem.
"Let it rock, let it go
You can't stop a fire burning out of control
Let it rock, let it go
With the night you're on the loose
You got to let it rock"
The bass is pounding, your fist is pumping, all you can say is DAMN STRAIGHT! This is the essence of rock and roll. Rebellion and attitude meshed together. With a pounding bass beat, a stinging guitar and a vocal wail. ABSOLUTELY!
And then comes "You Give Love A Bad Name," putting the stake in the heart, nailing you to the floor, committing you to the band. Instead of slowing down, taking a break, balladeering, Bon Jovi amps up the intensity and goes FASTER!
And then comes "Livin' On A Prayer."
You remember the video. The one wherein Jon Bon Jovi flies over the audience.
They were so smart, to go for credibility, live performance at this point.
But what we've got to stop and make note of is...THIS IS WHERE BON JOVI GOT THE GIRLS!
That's what's keeping the band going. The female audience.
They love their bad boys. Especially the good-looking ones.
This wasn't Justin Bieber, no New Kids On The Block. This was a band, who would get you on the bus and give you the ride of your life! They knew how to write, they knew how to play and they knew how to... They were white hot.
And the track was just great.
With that pregnant synth intro. The irresistible bass line. And then the talk box, straight off of "Frampton Comes Alive," not that anybody under the age of twenty knew that.
"Tommy used to work on the docks"
Quite possibly the most famous lyric of the eighties. Well, we can throw in Michael Jackson's work, but this is the absolute paragon, the absolute peak.
"Union's been on strike
He's down on his luck...it's tough, so tough
Gina works the diner all day
Working for her man, she brings home her pay
For love - for love"
There's a whole STORY! It's an aural MOVIE! You can SEE IT!
"She says we've got to hold on to what we've got
'cause it doesn't make a difference
If we make it or not
We've got each other and that's a lot
For love - we'll give it a shot"
Do you think everybody at the show, today in 2013, won? OF COURSE NOT! But listening to "Livin' On A Prayer" they believe they did. Hell, they've got the joy of listening to this music!
And if you didn't sing along to the chorus, you didn't have the ability to speak.
And then came..."Wanted Dead Or Alive."
Sure, it was the label going in for the kill, cementing the legacy of the band, making the album go stratospheric, but at this point millions had already discovered the track, before it got airplay. "Wanted Dead Or Alive" is the essence of rock, the anthem. Even better than the aforementioned Bad Company's song about rock stardom, "Shooting Star"... It's the road piece de resistance. The Eagles wanted to be desperadoes, but it was Bon Jovi that nailed the western ethos.
"Sometimes I sleep, sometimes it's not for days
And the people I meet always go their separate ways
Sometimes you tell the day
By the bottle that you drink
And times when you're alone all you do is think"
THAT'S IT! You're on the road to stardom and the only ones with you are your band members on the bus. It's lonely, it's frustrating, you're sleep-deprived, it's hell, but you're doing it all in the service of rock and roll, for that moment on stage when you blow the audience away!
And that's what Richie does, when he wails on his guitar.
But even more it's the pure sound of the track. And the dynamics. Hear the intro and you're immediately taken to a western town for the movie of your dreams.
"Wanted Dead Or Alive" was not Bon Jovi's biggest hit of the era, but it's their biggest hit decades on. It's the soundtrack of "Deadliest Catch" because it connotes being alone, just you against the world, and that's the story for all of us.
And side two opens with "Raise Your Hand," a variation on "Let It Rock" without being repetitious. And ultimately there's the ballad, "Never Say Goodbye," but the problem is the first side is so damn good. Seemingly only the Beatles could sustain this quality level through both sides of an album. Furthermore, we were still listening on vinyl, on cassettes. We'd get stuck on one side!
Then again, both sides of "Back In Black" were just as good, phenomenal.
But that album is a great example. AC/DC had been working for years, had its breakthrough moment, and couldn't repeat it. Despite working with Mutt Lange on its follow-up album. Bruce Fairbairn produced 1988's "New Jersey," which I bought without hearing first, but I was even more disappointed than I was with "For Those About To Rock (We Salute You)". "Lay Your Hands On Me" was good...but from there it was downhill.
You see Bon Jovi was working so hard to make it, that once they did...they had nothing left to say. The hunger was gone. They were stars. NOW WHAT?
Well, Bon Jovi went solo and essentially rerecorded "Wanted Dead Or Alive," but called it "Blaze Of Glory," and it was just about as successful, because the original was just that damn good. It's kind of like buying a Ferrari and then upgrading to the newest model, what could be wrong...IT'S A FERRARI!
And then the band got back together and Jon acted and the music continued to be generic.
They tried country, they tried everything.
But nothing measured up to "Slippery When Wet."
But that's enough. To sell out arenas, even stadiums.
Because if you want to relive 1986, if you want to know what it was like way back then...
You play "Slippery When Wet."
Spotify link: http://spoti.fi/p6HcZ8
Previous Rhinofy playlists: http://www.rhinofy.com/lefsetz
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Thursday 24 January 2013
Some Music
"Look At Miss Ohio"
The highlight of Buffalo Springfield at the Santa Barbara County Bowl was this. A live rendition by Gillian Welch and Dave Rawlings of a cult song everybody in the Americana/No Depression world knows but which has never appeared on Top Forty radio and has not been lauded by the mainstream press. This is the new world. Where you're a king in your niche, and outside you're unknown.
But this niche is pretty big. Even Miranda Lambert has covered "Look At Miss Ohio."
But what has got me writing this is Blind Pilot's take:
http://bit.ly/WXMYya
"She says I wanna do right, but not right now"
What kind of crazy fucked up world do we live in where two rootsy folk/wannabe hillbillies nail the rock and roll ethos better than anybody with long hair and an electric axe?
One in which everybody's dashing for cash and worried more about the sheen than the essence.
It's a constant fight... Do what you're supposed to, or what you want to?
You're in high school. Get good grades to get into a good college or...have fun? Get drunk and lose your virginity or study for your SATs?
"Gonna drive to Atlanta and live out this fantasy
Running around with the ragtop down"
Not New York or L.A. She doesn't need to be the IT girl. Doesn't need to be famous. She just wants to shoot pool in her cowboy boots and wink at the men. And see what transpires.
It's hard to explain the magic of "Little Miss Ohio." It's the laconic groove, the feel, the lyrics, the mental movie that's created.
Too much of today's music is made for everybody, made to be heard in a crowd, "Look At Miss Ohio" is made to play in your head only, as you drive with the window down and your arm resting on the sill, sitting on the couch, slipping a glass of wine as the sun sets...
Gillian and Dave's studio take is great, but it misses the target just a bit. You've got to experience it live.
Check out this take from the BBC:
http://bit.ly/38IMS
She's singing like she means it.
It ain't about fame, it ain't about money, it's about life.
And that's when music is best.
Gillian Welch and David Rawlings studio original: http://spoti.fi/bo0xdw
Miranda Lambert version: http://bit.ly/uyhDrW
Counting Crows version: http://bit.ly/VaPFN8
Seems everybody knows "Look At Miss Ohio," and now you do too!
"Django"
And they said soundtracks were dead.
Yup, the kind that sold ten million copies that were populated by tracks that weren't even in the movie. But the "Django Unchained" soundtrack is akin to what once was, in the days before VHS, DVD and pay cable, when you were home and you wanted to remember, feel the essence of the theatre experience.
Listen to this, the title track. It's so derivative, such an homage to what once was, that it makes you smile. It's big and overblown, just this shy of parody!
And "The Braying Mule" is hookier than anything on those million-selling hip-hop albums. Ennio Morricone is a master. Just because you're old, that does not mean you're not great, or irrelevant.
And "Lo Chiamavano King (His Name Is King)" will positively blow your mind. It's like Shirley Bassey was preserved in amber after "Goldfinger" and set loose in 2012, just to sing this. This track is just one step to the side of Adele. It's tongue-in-cheek, but in an alternative universe, this is a Top Five record.
When everybody else is down in the dumps, trying to crack the hit parade, Quentin Tarantino has cast off the chains, lifted the magic slate and created something brand new.
Even if you haven't seen the movie, you'll get it.
"Django": http://bit.ly/TzNcg7
"The Braying Mule": http://bit.ly/UsNcRd
"Lo Chiamavano King (His Name Is King)": http://bit.ly/VZQxmz
"Honky Tonk Women"
Yes, the Stones song.
But no, not the Stones recording.
But a rearranged acoustic take by John Batdorf and James Lee Stanley.
Dedicated readers will know that I loved their initial "All Wood and Stones" collaboration, now they're doing another one, and this is one of the tracks.
The acoustic guitars take you to the mountains and Batdorf's vocal soothes you, it's pure magic, I look forward to more.
And you should too.
"Honky Took Women": http://bit.ly/WSL7Mk
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The highlight of Buffalo Springfield at the Santa Barbara County Bowl was this. A live rendition by Gillian Welch and Dave Rawlings of a cult song everybody in the Americana/No Depression world knows but which has never appeared on Top Forty radio and has not been lauded by the mainstream press. This is the new world. Where you're a king in your niche, and outside you're unknown.
But this niche is pretty big. Even Miranda Lambert has covered "Look At Miss Ohio."
But what has got me writing this is Blind Pilot's take:
http://bit.ly/WXMYya
"She says I wanna do right, but not right now"
What kind of crazy fucked up world do we live in where two rootsy folk/wannabe hillbillies nail the rock and roll ethos better than anybody with long hair and an electric axe?
One in which everybody's dashing for cash and worried more about the sheen than the essence.
It's a constant fight... Do what you're supposed to, or what you want to?
You're in high school. Get good grades to get into a good college or...have fun? Get drunk and lose your virginity or study for your SATs?
"Gonna drive to Atlanta and live out this fantasy
Running around with the ragtop down"
Not New York or L.A. She doesn't need to be the IT girl. Doesn't need to be famous. She just wants to shoot pool in her cowboy boots and wink at the men. And see what transpires.
It's hard to explain the magic of "Little Miss Ohio." It's the laconic groove, the feel, the lyrics, the mental movie that's created.
Too much of today's music is made for everybody, made to be heard in a crowd, "Look At Miss Ohio" is made to play in your head only, as you drive with the window down and your arm resting on the sill, sitting on the couch, slipping a glass of wine as the sun sets...
Gillian and Dave's studio take is great, but it misses the target just a bit. You've got to experience it live.
Check out this take from the BBC:
http://bit.ly/38IMS
She's singing like she means it.
It ain't about fame, it ain't about money, it's about life.
And that's when music is best.
Gillian Welch and David Rawlings studio original: http://spoti.fi/bo0xdw
Miranda Lambert version: http://bit.ly/uyhDrW
Counting Crows version: http://bit.ly/VaPFN8
Seems everybody knows "Look At Miss Ohio," and now you do too!
"Django"
And they said soundtracks were dead.
Yup, the kind that sold ten million copies that were populated by tracks that weren't even in the movie. But the "Django Unchained" soundtrack is akin to what once was, in the days before VHS, DVD and pay cable, when you were home and you wanted to remember, feel the essence of the theatre experience.
Listen to this, the title track. It's so derivative, such an homage to what once was, that it makes you smile. It's big and overblown, just this shy of parody!
And "The Braying Mule" is hookier than anything on those million-selling hip-hop albums. Ennio Morricone is a master. Just because you're old, that does not mean you're not great, or irrelevant.
And "Lo Chiamavano King (His Name Is King)" will positively blow your mind. It's like Shirley Bassey was preserved in amber after "Goldfinger" and set loose in 2012, just to sing this. This track is just one step to the side of Adele. It's tongue-in-cheek, but in an alternative universe, this is a Top Five record.
When everybody else is down in the dumps, trying to crack the hit parade, Quentin Tarantino has cast off the chains, lifted the magic slate and created something brand new.
Even if you haven't seen the movie, you'll get it.
"Django": http://bit.ly/TzNcg7
"The Braying Mule": http://bit.ly/UsNcRd
"Lo Chiamavano King (His Name Is King)": http://bit.ly/VZQxmz
"Honky Tonk Women"
Yes, the Stones song.
But no, not the Stones recording.
But a rearranged acoustic take by John Batdorf and James Lee Stanley.
Dedicated readers will know that I loved their initial "All Wood and Stones" collaboration, now they're doing another one, and this is one of the tracks.
The acoustic guitars take you to the mountains and Batdorf's vocal soothes you, it's pure magic, I look forward to more.
And you should too.
"Honky Took Women": http://bit.ly/WSL7Mk
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Blind Pilot-Half Moon
Were you ever a fan of Crosby, Stills & Nash?
You remember, the band with the perfect harmonies that charmed the girls and were loved by the boys too? Who were sensitive without being wimpy...well, except for a few Graham Nash tracks.
Oh, maybe you're younger than that. Let's fast-forward twenty years, to Toad The Wet Sprocket, with their exquisite "Walk On The Ocean," a track they never quite equaled, but I could play incessantly.
Like either of those?
Then you're gonna LOVE "Half Moon."
Here's a Spotify link: http://spoti.fi/Vaixox
Or you can check it out on YouTube: http://bit.ly/L46KbN
I was driving home from Staples last night, I went to see Muse, my main question is HOW DID EVERYBODY KNOW? They're doing three nights! Tickets are cheap, under $70, but is it KROQ or word of mouth or..? They put on a spectacular show, everybody leaves satiated, and when it was all done I got in my car for the rainy drive home.
And first I heard "Lo and Behold" by Cold Blood. You remember, Lydia Pense! The band had almost no traction outside San Francisco, but I was intrigued by the satellite readout, could this be a cover of the James Taylor song?
Absolutely.
Interesting.
Then I switched to the Spectrum. Where I heard a great Neil Young song, from his later period, one I didn't instantly recognize. And after exiting the freeway I heard "Half Moon."
I was wondering if it was the night. You know how sometimes everything sounds good?
But I just pulled "Half Moon" up on Spotify and the harmonies are...DELICIOUS!
You may not be hooked immediately. But the longer you play it, the harder it is to turn off. And then you hit that moment, around 2:40, when the instruments all drop out and everybody sings and it's like...UNCLE JOHN'S BAND!
But it continues, majestically. And you can't help but nod your head and feel that life is beautiful.
P.S. Muse's first album came out in 1999. I saw them at the Mayan half a decade ago. "Half Moon" came out in 2011. Stuff happens slower than ever before, unless you're the beneficiary/victim of the mainstream hype, wherein you become famous but are oftentimes kicked to the curb shortly after your rocket ride. Stay at it. It takes time to get good, it takes time for people to find out.
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You remember, the band with the perfect harmonies that charmed the girls and were loved by the boys too? Who were sensitive without being wimpy...well, except for a few Graham Nash tracks.
Oh, maybe you're younger than that. Let's fast-forward twenty years, to Toad The Wet Sprocket, with their exquisite "Walk On The Ocean," a track they never quite equaled, but I could play incessantly.
Like either of those?
Then you're gonna LOVE "Half Moon."
Here's a Spotify link: http://spoti.fi/Vaixox
Or you can check it out on YouTube: http://bit.ly/L46KbN
I was driving home from Staples last night, I went to see Muse, my main question is HOW DID EVERYBODY KNOW? They're doing three nights! Tickets are cheap, under $70, but is it KROQ or word of mouth or..? They put on a spectacular show, everybody leaves satiated, and when it was all done I got in my car for the rainy drive home.
And first I heard "Lo and Behold" by Cold Blood. You remember, Lydia Pense! The band had almost no traction outside San Francisco, but I was intrigued by the satellite readout, could this be a cover of the James Taylor song?
Absolutely.
Interesting.
Then I switched to the Spectrum. Where I heard a great Neil Young song, from his later period, one I didn't instantly recognize. And after exiting the freeway I heard "Half Moon."
I was wondering if it was the night. You know how sometimes everything sounds good?
But I just pulled "Half Moon" up on Spotify and the harmonies are...DELICIOUS!
You may not be hooked immediately. But the longer you play it, the harder it is to turn off. And then you hit that moment, around 2:40, when the instruments all drop out and everybody sings and it's like...UNCLE JOHN'S BAND!
But it continues, majestically. And you can't help but nod your head and feel that life is beautiful.
P.S. Muse's first album came out in 1999. I saw them at the Mayan half a decade ago. "Half Moon" came out in 2011. Stuff happens slower than ever before, unless you're the beneficiary/victim of the mainstream hype, wherein you become famous but are oftentimes kicked to the curb shortly after your rocket ride. Stay at it. It takes time to get good, it takes time for people to find out.
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Wednesday 23 January 2013
Disappearing Yogurt
Albums keep getting longer and every time I crack a Dannon yogurt...I find less inside.
How would you feel if you were a heroin addict and Afghanistan switched to producing cocaine? Or if the Yankees still occupied their stadium, but they now played soccer? Pretty disillusioning, wouldn't you think?
Man, I'm in withdrawal. The food staple of my life, Dannon coffee yogurt, is disappearing from the shelves. It's like end of times. Going from market to market. With all the clerks telling me it's gone, and I'm one of the clamoring masses still looking for it.
You see the company's gone all Jamie Lee Curtis on me. Promoting their Activia brand. Which comes in Lilliputian containers and must be consumed slowly, like brandy, because in just one or two teaspoonfuls, it's history.
Not that I want it anyway. It's just that I need a delivery system for my trail mix.
I discovered this in Utah. Jimmy bought a plethora of nuts and a bunch of yogurt and we all lived on it just for one day. But I got hooked, like the kid who smokes marijuana once and decides to go on to harder stuff. Yup, I've got a friend who's tried crack, he's done everything, he likes experimenting on his vacations, but me, I do nothing, because I know one hit and I'm toast.
I tried everything. Until I settled on Dannon vanilla.
Then I burned out on that, and discovered Valhalla, the exquisite elixir known as Dannon coffee yogurt.
It's a cult. Like the Moonies. Either you're a member or you can't understand. It's like no yogurt you've ever eaten before. There's no fruit, no stirring, just a concoction that's akin to ice cream, but is much better for you.
But now there's only one market where it's available. And it's nowhere near my house. And I'm wasting time driving there only to discover the shelves have been picked clean, by other addicts.
And I'm thinking about going cold turkey. But I still need a mixer for my nuts.
Which led me to the fad of the day, GREEK yogurt. Have you tried this stuff? It's got double the protein, but has the consistency of paste. And the best brands come with a little jelly next door, in a separate compartment, which you must reach in and mix yourself. I tried it, I don't like it.
So hunting for Dannon coffee yogurt in the one place that I used to get it and hadn't checked yet, I found they no longer carried it either but they had Dannon Oikos, the company's Greek model, I decided to try it, I mean I need something.
And I crack a container...
And there's nothing there!
It's like going to Crater Lake and finding a puddle. Like lifting the cover of your swimming pool and discovering it's only half full. Talk about a buzzkill.
And this doesn't seem possible. I start scouring the container, looking for an indicator of its contents.
I turn it round and round until I discover there's 5.3 ounces of yogurt.
5.3?? I remember when it used to be 8! I could handle the reduction to 6, well not really, but what comes next, a container with an eyedropper's worth?
I mean I get it.
Dannon is putting all this advertising behind Activia. And they're paying the supermarkets to shelve it. So they decide independently, with no research, to clear out coffee, and then they reduce the contents but not the size of the container figuring you won't notice.
It's like they've never heard of New Coke.
First and foremost satiate your EXISTING customers before you try and get new ones!
No regular yogurt customer is switching to Activia. They've already got their favorite. And coffee is a cult, I buy a box at a time, at a minimum.
But now I can't get any at all.
As Dannon hurtles towards the cliff.
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How would you feel if you were a heroin addict and Afghanistan switched to producing cocaine? Or if the Yankees still occupied their stadium, but they now played soccer? Pretty disillusioning, wouldn't you think?
Man, I'm in withdrawal. The food staple of my life, Dannon coffee yogurt, is disappearing from the shelves. It's like end of times. Going from market to market. With all the clerks telling me it's gone, and I'm one of the clamoring masses still looking for it.
You see the company's gone all Jamie Lee Curtis on me. Promoting their Activia brand. Which comes in Lilliputian containers and must be consumed slowly, like brandy, because in just one or two teaspoonfuls, it's history.
Not that I want it anyway. It's just that I need a delivery system for my trail mix.
I discovered this in Utah. Jimmy bought a plethora of nuts and a bunch of yogurt and we all lived on it just for one day. But I got hooked, like the kid who smokes marijuana once and decides to go on to harder stuff. Yup, I've got a friend who's tried crack, he's done everything, he likes experimenting on his vacations, but me, I do nothing, because I know one hit and I'm toast.
I tried everything. Until I settled on Dannon vanilla.
Then I burned out on that, and discovered Valhalla, the exquisite elixir known as Dannon coffee yogurt.
It's a cult. Like the Moonies. Either you're a member or you can't understand. It's like no yogurt you've ever eaten before. There's no fruit, no stirring, just a concoction that's akin to ice cream, but is much better for you.
But now there's only one market where it's available. And it's nowhere near my house. And I'm wasting time driving there only to discover the shelves have been picked clean, by other addicts.
And I'm thinking about going cold turkey. But I still need a mixer for my nuts.
Which led me to the fad of the day, GREEK yogurt. Have you tried this stuff? It's got double the protein, but has the consistency of paste. And the best brands come with a little jelly next door, in a separate compartment, which you must reach in and mix yourself. I tried it, I don't like it.
So hunting for Dannon coffee yogurt in the one place that I used to get it and hadn't checked yet, I found they no longer carried it either but they had Dannon Oikos, the company's Greek model, I decided to try it, I mean I need something.
And I crack a container...
And there's nothing there!
It's like going to Crater Lake and finding a puddle. Like lifting the cover of your swimming pool and discovering it's only half full. Talk about a buzzkill.
And this doesn't seem possible. I start scouring the container, looking for an indicator of its contents.
I turn it round and round until I discover there's 5.3 ounces of yogurt.
5.3?? I remember when it used to be 8! I could handle the reduction to 6, well not really, but what comes next, a container with an eyedropper's worth?
I mean I get it.
Dannon is putting all this advertising behind Activia. And they're paying the supermarkets to shelve it. So they decide independently, with no research, to clear out coffee, and then they reduce the contents but not the size of the container figuring you won't notice.
It's like they've never heard of New Coke.
First and foremost satiate your EXISTING customers before you try and get new ones!
No regular yogurt customer is switching to Activia. They've already got their favorite. And coffee is a cult, I buy a box at a time, at a minimum.
But now I can't get any at all.
As Dannon hurtles towards the cliff.
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Tuesday 22 January 2013
Django Unchained
How'd he come up with this shit?
Yes, I went back to the movies. And once again was confronted by someone who was flummoxed by parking lots. You know the doofus, the person who sits behind the wheel of their SUV, blocking everybody, looking for a space right next to the door so they don't have to exercise their chubby little legs when there's a plethora of parking just another floor up...right by the elevator to boot! I mean you don't even have to be sixteen, you don't even have to have a driver's license to know that there's parking further up or further down, but NO, you've got to block traffic while the rest of us wait for you to slide your behemoth into a space exited by a Honda Fit which you have to jockey back and forth to get into.
Drives me fucking nuts.
But not as much as the people texting during the movie.
You left your house and bought a ticket just so you could come to the theatre, a public place, and do exactly what you do at home? And god forbid you tell these people to shut down their screens...you'd think you impinged upon their ability to home school their kids and fire an arsenal of automatic weapons.
And how you could take your eyes off the screen during this flick is beyond me.
Once upon a time, before many of you were born, in the late sixties and early seventies, we went to each other's houses to play records that had us asking...HOW DID THEY COME UP WITH THIS?
That was not only the essence of Frank Zappa, but Yes and so many trailblazers.
But today everybody's fighting to be second. YOU innovate, I'll follow in the path you've created.
But was there ever a credible, never mind successful, follower of Alanis Morissette?
"Jagged Little Pill" was so damn honest. Giving head in a theatre? Did that really happen?
But today's music is safe, just like the playgrounds with rubber mats where the monkey bars have been removed. God forbid little Johnny falls and cries. That would be a disaster!
So after agreeing to be Christoph Waltz's valet, Jamie Foxx emerges in a shiny blue suit straight from the court of Louis XVI, and over the speakers you here...
JIM CROCE'S "I GOTTA NAME"!
Talk about cognitive dissonance. It's 1858 and you're playing a song from the 1970s?
This is the opposite of Spielberg. Tarantino's not fucking with your eyes, but your ears. Furthermore, he probably discovered the track from its initial use in 1973's "Last American Hero," having seen it in the video store where he worked for eons gaining knowledge of the medium. Let's quiz Justin Bieber on music history... We'll probably get a big fat DUH! And if you don't know where you came from, you've got no idea where you're going.
And then there's Samuel L. Jackson's turn as Stephen, the black man beholden to the white who runs Leonardo DiCaprio's household, CANDIELAND! You're not even sure it's him. With the limp and the white hair. But what's most impressive is the intensity. You can see his mind turning, you can feel how he gets everybody in line.
And there are sequences so long that any major studio would cry for cuts. But Tarantino's on his own trip, only he can execute the vision in his head, remove a smidge and you ruin the whole casserole.
That's what musical acts don't realize. Cowrite, change just a little bit, and you've lost your essence, what makes you you.
And it's not like there's no audience for "Django Unchained." The flick has already taken in nearly $200 million. Not because it's mainstream, not because it's for everybody, but because Quentin Tarantino has a huge fanbase!
Yup, you're evidencing a milquetoast personality, trying to reach everybody while offending nobody, and as a result, you've got little impact. Whereas Tarantino knows it's about the core. Hell, you've got to go to his flicks just to see what he's up to!
It's the plot twists, the humor... Like the scene where the wannabe Klan members can't see through their hoods and the guy whose wife made them is so pissed he abandons the mission.
You literally watch this movie with your mouth agape.
When you're not laughing profusely.
We don't care about everybody. We're not interested in me-too.
We want limit-testers, people not beholden to the system, who don't shrug their shoulders and say their hands are tied but go off on a wild adventure that we can't wait to share!
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Yes, I went back to the movies. And once again was confronted by someone who was flummoxed by parking lots. You know the doofus, the person who sits behind the wheel of their SUV, blocking everybody, looking for a space right next to the door so they don't have to exercise their chubby little legs when there's a plethora of parking just another floor up...right by the elevator to boot! I mean you don't even have to be sixteen, you don't even have to have a driver's license to know that there's parking further up or further down, but NO, you've got to block traffic while the rest of us wait for you to slide your behemoth into a space exited by a Honda Fit which you have to jockey back and forth to get into.
Drives me fucking nuts.
But not as much as the people texting during the movie.
You left your house and bought a ticket just so you could come to the theatre, a public place, and do exactly what you do at home? And god forbid you tell these people to shut down their screens...you'd think you impinged upon their ability to home school their kids and fire an arsenal of automatic weapons.
And how you could take your eyes off the screen during this flick is beyond me.
Once upon a time, before many of you were born, in the late sixties and early seventies, we went to each other's houses to play records that had us asking...HOW DID THEY COME UP WITH THIS?
That was not only the essence of Frank Zappa, but Yes and so many trailblazers.
But today everybody's fighting to be second. YOU innovate, I'll follow in the path you've created.
But was there ever a credible, never mind successful, follower of Alanis Morissette?
"Jagged Little Pill" was so damn honest. Giving head in a theatre? Did that really happen?
But today's music is safe, just like the playgrounds with rubber mats where the monkey bars have been removed. God forbid little Johnny falls and cries. That would be a disaster!
So after agreeing to be Christoph Waltz's valet, Jamie Foxx emerges in a shiny blue suit straight from the court of Louis XVI, and over the speakers you here...
JIM CROCE'S "I GOTTA NAME"!
Talk about cognitive dissonance. It's 1858 and you're playing a song from the 1970s?
This is the opposite of Spielberg. Tarantino's not fucking with your eyes, but your ears. Furthermore, he probably discovered the track from its initial use in 1973's "Last American Hero," having seen it in the video store where he worked for eons gaining knowledge of the medium. Let's quiz Justin Bieber on music history... We'll probably get a big fat DUH! And if you don't know where you came from, you've got no idea where you're going.
And then there's Samuel L. Jackson's turn as Stephen, the black man beholden to the white who runs Leonardo DiCaprio's household, CANDIELAND! You're not even sure it's him. With the limp and the white hair. But what's most impressive is the intensity. You can see his mind turning, you can feel how he gets everybody in line.
And there are sequences so long that any major studio would cry for cuts. But Tarantino's on his own trip, only he can execute the vision in his head, remove a smidge and you ruin the whole casserole.
That's what musical acts don't realize. Cowrite, change just a little bit, and you've lost your essence, what makes you you.
And it's not like there's no audience for "Django Unchained." The flick has already taken in nearly $200 million. Not because it's mainstream, not because it's for everybody, but because Quentin Tarantino has a huge fanbase!
Yup, you're evidencing a milquetoast personality, trying to reach everybody while offending nobody, and as a result, you've got little impact. Whereas Tarantino knows it's about the core. Hell, you've got to go to his flicks just to see what he's up to!
It's the plot twists, the humor... Like the scene where the wannabe Klan members can't see through their hoods and the guy whose wife made them is so pissed he abandons the mission.
You literally watch this movie with your mouth agape.
When you're not laughing profusely.
We don't care about everybody. We're not interested in me-too.
We want limit-testers, people not beholden to the system, who don't shrug their shoulders and say their hands are tied but go off on a wild adventure that we can't wait to share!
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Monday 21 January 2013
Dead
HMV
Did you see that story in the "Sunday Times" entitled "Music giants rush to save HMV"?
http://www.thesundaytimes.co.uk/sto/business/Retail_and_leisure/article1197662.ece
Ain't that the entertainment business, always with one foot in the past, propping up that which is going under.
They don't even listen to their own artists, what did Bob Dylan so famously say, "He not busy being born is busy dying"?
If your main goal in propping up physical retail is to aid in negotiations with iTunes, Amazon and supermarkets, you're probably buying Best Buy stock and working on jamming cell signals inside so people can't "showroom."
Just like an addicted gambler, the entertainment companies can't walk away from a losing hand. Yup, HMV closes so they get stiffed. How long did it take them to get rid of their CD pressing plants?
This movie is going to streaming.
I'd focus on upping YouTube payments. I'd be scared of Daniel Ek and Jimmy Iovine more than Tim Cook. Then again, the labels were smart enough to get a percentage of streaming services.
As for all you people lauding the CD, STFU. No one's listening. Then again, the labels are. This is the main way they make money. But instead of preparing for the future, they're wedded to the past. If Spotify had launched earlier, if it wasn't delayed by label negotiations, YouTube wouldn't be the default streaming platform. Nature abhors a vacuum. If you don't give it to people the way they want it, a worse alternative appears, one in which you receive less compensation or none. Fighting Napster begat KaZaA. Shutting down Limewire resulted in locker services. The best bet against piracy? Easy to use authorized services. But if you're always looking to make what you once did you're a delusional retired baseball player just waiting for the call to suit up. Things change, change with them.
And know that the mainstream press is last. Hell, are you gonna trust the L.A. "Times," which saw its subscriber base sink from 739,000 to 454,500 in the wake of the 2008 "Tribune" bankruptcy? There's no one even there to report a story, everybody's been given a golden parachute (well, more like tin) and those left are positively the B-team. Hell, the above story was in the LONDON "Times," not the LOS ANGELES "Times," even though the latter is in the same city as Hollywood.
A CD is a delivery system. HMV is a retailer. Delivery and retail change, the art remains. What next, a return to general stores, with no freeway access? The key is to focus on growing the future, not buttressing the past.
RIMM/BLACKBERRY
Done.
BlackBerry 10 is a failure.
How do I know?
CAN YOU SAY PALM?
I want you to name one tech company that came back from the dead. Oh I know, you're gonna throw a curve ball, you're gonna say Apple. Well, if it was still only in the computer business, Apple would be so marginalized as to be unknown to most people. What grew Apple was new products, the iPod, iPhone and iPad. If you told me RIMM was coming up with something new, instead of burnishing an old phone, I'd at least pay attention. Instead you've got an antique company trying to reclaim its glory days based on the fact that it sells physical keyboards and has an e-mail solution.
The initial Androids had keyboards... If that's what people wanted, they'd all have them. As for e-mail, ask your teen if he's addicted. No, he loves texting!
And Apple taught us it was about software and the ecosystem.
BlackBerry's software has always been far from seamless. Ever wait for a BlackBerry to boot up? The world could end in the interim. And if you never had a BlackBerry that crashed/froze, you didn't own one. Where is all the good will for this device? The people clamoring for BlackBerries are the same ones heralding the CD! I miss my BlackBerry not one iota. And the functionality on the iPhone is so high, it's almost like it's in a different product category.
And app developers like to get paid. There are almost no apps for BlackBerry 10 and no one's gonna write any, because the universe is so small.
But the mainstream press, even the "Wall Street Journal," never shuts the door on the Waterloo company. It always posts the positive. As if there's a chance RIMM can come back.
IT CAN'T! IT'S TOAST! IT'S AS DEAD AS PALM!
But the insiders don't know it yet. Only the hoi polloi are clued in.
Ain't that modern America.
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Did you see that story in the "Sunday Times" entitled "Music giants rush to save HMV"?
http://www.thesundaytimes.co.uk/sto/business/Retail_and_leisure/article1197662.ece
Ain't that the entertainment business, always with one foot in the past, propping up that which is going under.
They don't even listen to their own artists, what did Bob Dylan so famously say, "He not busy being born is busy dying"?
If your main goal in propping up physical retail is to aid in negotiations with iTunes, Amazon and supermarkets, you're probably buying Best Buy stock and working on jamming cell signals inside so people can't "showroom."
Just like an addicted gambler, the entertainment companies can't walk away from a losing hand. Yup, HMV closes so they get stiffed. How long did it take them to get rid of their CD pressing plants?
This movie is going to streaming.
I'd focus on upping YouTube payments. I'd be scared of Daniel Ek and Jimmy Iovine more than Tim Cook. Then again, the labels were smart enough to get a percentage of streaming services.
As for all you people lauding the CD, STFU. No one's listening. Then again, the labels are. This is the main way they make money. But instead of preparing for the future, they're wedded to the past. If Spotify had launched earlier, if it wasn't delayed by label negotiations, YouTube wouldn't be the default streaming platform. Nature abhors a vacuum. If you don't give it to people the way they want it, a worse alternative appears, one in which you receive less compensation or none. Fighting Napster begat KaZaA. Shutting down Limewire resulted in locker services. The best bet against piracy? Easy to use authorized services. But if you're always looking to make what you once did you're a delusional retired baseball player just waiting for the call to suit up. Things change, change with them.
And know that the mainstream press is last. Hell, are you gonna trust the L.A. "Times," which saw its subscriber base sink from 739,000 to 454,500 in the wake of the 2008 "Tribune" bankruptcy? There's no one even there to report a story, everybody's been given a golden parachute (well, more like tin) and those left are positively the B-team. Hell, the above story was in the LONDON "Times," not the LOS ANGELES "Times," even though the latter is in the same city as Hollywood.
A CD is a delivery system. HMV is a retailer. Delivery and retail change, the art remains. What next, a return to general stores, with no freeway access? The key is to focus on growing the future, not buttressing the past.
RIMM/BLACKBERRY
Done.
BlackBerry 10 is a failure.
How do I know?
CAN YOU SAY PALM?
I want you to name one tech company that came back from the dead. Oh I know, you're gonna throw a curve ball, you're gonna say Apple. Well, if it was still only in the computer business, Apple would be so marginalized as to be unknown to most people. What grew Apple was new products, the iPod, iPhone and iPad. If you told me RIMM was coming up with something new, instead of burnishing an old phone, I'd at least pay attention. Instead you've got an antique company trying to reclaim its glory days based on the fact that it sells physical keyboards and has an e-mail solution.
The initial Androids had keyboards... If that's what people wanted, they'd all have them. As for e-mail, ask your teen if he's addicted. No, he loves texting!
And Apple taught us it was about software and the ecosystem.
BlackBerry's software has always been far from seamless. Ever wait for a BlackBerry to boot up? The world could end in the interim. And if you never had a BlackBerry that crashed/froze, you didn't own one. Where is all the good will for this device? The people clamoring for BlackBerries are the same ones heralding the CD! I miss my BlackBerry not one iota. And the functionality on the iPhone is so high, it's almost like it's in a different product category.
And app developers like to get paid. There are almost no apps for BlackBerry 10 and no one's gonna write any, because the universe is so small.
But the mainstream press, even the "Wall Street Journal," never shuts the door on the Waterloo company. It always posts the positive. As if there's a chance RIMM can come back.
IT CAN'T! IT'S TOAST! IT'S AS DEAD AS PALM!
But the insiders don't know it yet. Only the hoi polloi are clued in.
Ain't that modern America.
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Zero Dark Thirty
This is the kind of culture we live in. One of selfishness.
I can barely see a spot through the SUVs in the parking lot at the Galleria. Yup, that's the kind of country we live in. One where what I do counts and I'm not even thinking about you. Global warming? Income inequality? The big issues don't matter, I'm entitled to live my life how I want and if someone else suffers, screw 'em.
Kind of like the people inside the theatre. You know, the ones who talk and eat bon-bons from cellophane for forty five minutes in this almost three hour epic. After this chap ate a bag of popcorn and drank a twenty four ounce soda. The rich don't even go to the theatre, they stay at home, they use their connections to get the latest flicks delivered to their private screening rooms. The poor go for release from their horrid lives and overspend for crap that will make the owner rich and themselves obese. And what's left of the middle class stays home. We live in walled gardens. And we like it that way. Because the rest of the world bugs us. We hate people. We want to drive on an empty freeway and fly private in a world...
That's overpopulated with poverty. The shots of Pakistan are horrifying. Empty these citizens from their SUVs and have them mingle in the market of Islamabad. That'll get their neurons firing. And this ain't no "Argo," Hollywood entertainment to make you feel good. As a matter of fact, I now feel horrible, I haven't felt this empty and at loose ends since the "Deer Hunter," back when movies were our primary art form and they could still change the world. Now movies are made to play around the world, they're two-dimensional whiz-bang affairs catering to teenagers and foreigners, and our nation has forgotten that the moving image can change lives and the course of history. Don't get me started on music, the land of imitators doing it to sell tchotchkes to the unwashed, whether it be t-shirts, vodka or perfume. The music is irrelevant. No one's taking a stand, no one's being a leader.
And there's so much to hate about "Zero Dark Thirty." That it was single-handedly financed by Larry Ellison's daughter, what kind of country do we live in where a twentysomething can write a check for $45 million, one in which she inherits $2 billion a few years before, and the issue of torture...did it help us get Osama or not.
I don't know.
Because I'm an ignorant American. A knee-jerk liberal. We should not torture, that's it.
And I stand by that. But I'm open to opposing facts. But my left wing brethren are not. They're excoriating this movie, bloviating about it without seeing it, and you've got to see it, you must see it, IT'S THE MOVIE OF THE YEAR!
Oh, maybe that "Amour" flick is as good, dealing with human emotions, something radically different. But if you were not blown away by "Zero Dark Thirty," you didn't see it. And most people did not. Because of the aforementioned torture issue and the pussification of our country. We're squeamish. We can't handle torture scenes and tension, we prefer comedies. Well let me tell you, life ain't no comedy, it's deadly serious, and there are people laying their lives down so you can live in ignorance.
That's what struck me about this flick. The concept of something being bigger than yourself. We live in a country of me, me, me, everyone refuses to sacrifice. But service is about sacrifice. If you watch "Zero Dark Thirty" and don't contemplate joining the CIA, your heart doesn't beat.
All those Ivy Leaguers going into finance, so they can get rich. Money won't keep you warm at night. But if you're really changing the world, doing good, you've got a reason to get up in the morning, your life makes sense.
These people are dedicated.
Got a boyfriend?
NO!
Got any friends?
NO!
That's what drives me wild, the people who want to have it all. They want to be rock stars and have a family and live a normal life... That's not how you make it. You make it by being single-minded, giving up everything but the cause. And still, you might not succeed. You might get blown up by a bomb just when you're getting close. Even worse, you might get blown away when you're far from the target. Are you willing to take that risk?
OF COURSE NOT!
You don't want any risk. All you want is GUARANTEES!
Everybody in America, you can't take anything away from them. If one more songwriter e-mails me about Napster and Spotify I'm gonna scream. THINGS CHANGE! Adjust or get out of the game. The past is never coming back!
And all you gun nuts, thinking the Second Amendment gives you the right to protect yourself from a heinous government... If you think an assault rifle has a chance against the U.S. military, you're delusional. Not only do they have night vision goggles, they've got satellites and drones that can track you when you leave the house. Yup, they've got footage of everybody in the compound except Bin Laden. Right there on camera!
And why do I have to go see a movie about something I already know about? Because you've got no idea of the tension and the anxiety of a mission. It's one thing to read about it in the newspaper, it's another to be on the ground in a foreign country with your life on the line. Kathryn Bigelow depicts that so well!
And she's over sixty!
But find someone green-lighting movies that age.
No, you're too old to know. You're ready for the scrapheap.
But you gain through experience. "Hurt Locker" was just a stepping stone to "Zero Dark Thirty."
My mind never wandered. The tension was nearly excruciating. I knew it was a movie, but I also knew it was real. That there are smart people who are not worried about the number of Facebook friends they've got, but the bigger issues of life.
Yup, stay home. Be a pussy. Pontificate without even seeing the flick.
Or, you can go to the theatre and be positively blown away.
I was.
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I can barely see a spot through the SUVs in the parking lot at the Galleria. Yup, that's the kind of country we live in. One where what I do counts and I'm not even thinking about you. Global warming? Income inequality? The big issues don't matter, I'm entitled to live my life how I want and if someone else suffers, screw 'em.
Kind of like the people inside the theatre. You know, the ones who talk and eat bon-bons from cellophane for forty five minutes in this almost three hour epic. After this chap ate a bag of popcorn and drank a twenty four ounce soda. The rich don't even go to the theatre, they stay at home, they use their connections to get the latest flicks delivered to their private screening rooms. The poor go for release from their horrid lives and overspend for crap that will make the owner rich and themselves obese. And what's left of the middle class stays home. We live in walled gardens. And we like it that way. Because the rest of the world bugs us. We hate people. We want to drive on an empty freeway and fly private in a world...
That's overpopulated with poverty. The shots of Pakistan are horrifying. Empty these citizens from their SUVs and have them mingle in the market of Islamabad. That'll get their neurons firing. And this ain't no "Argo," Hollywood entertainment to make you feel good. As a matter of fact, I now feel horrible, I haven't felt this empty and at loose ends since the "Deer Hunter," back when movies were our primary art form and they could still change the world. Now movies are made to play around the world, they're two-dimensional whiz-bang affairs catering to teenagers and foreigners, and our nation has forgotten that the moving image can change lives and the course of history. Don't get me started on music, the land of imitators doing it to sell tchotchkes to the unwashed, whether it be t-shirts, vodka or perfume. The music is irrelevant. No one's taking a stand, no one's being a leader.
And there's so much to hate about "Zero Dark Thirty." That it was single-handedly financed by Larry Ellison's daughter, what kind of country do we live in where a twentysomething can write a check for $45 million, one in which she inherits $2 billion a few years before, and the issue of torture...did it help us get Osama or not.
I don't know.
Because I'm an ignorant American. A knee-jerk liberal. We should not torture, that's it.
And I stand by that. But I'm open to opposing facts. But my left wing brethren are not. They're excoriating this movie, bloviating about it without seeing it, and you've got to see it, you must see it, IT'S THE MOVIE OF THE YEAR!
Oh, maybe that "Amour" flick is as good, dealing with human emotions, something radically different. But if you were not blown away by "Zero Dark Thirty," you didn't see it. And most people did not. Because of the aforementioned torture issue and the pussification of our country. We're squeamish. We can't handle torture scenes and tension, we prefer comedies. Well let me tell you, life ain't no comedy, it's deadly serious, and there are people laying their lives down so you can live in ignorance.
That's what struck me about this flick. The concept of something being bigger than yourself. We live in a country of me, me, me, everyone refuses to sacrifice. But service is about sacrifice. If you watch "Zero Dark Thirty" and don't contemplate joining the CIA, your heart doesn't beat.
All those Ivy Leaguers going into finance, so they can get rich. Money won't keep you warm at night. But if you're really changing the world, doing good, you've got a reason to get up in the morning, your life makes sense.
These people are dedicated.
Got a boyfriend?
NO!
Got any friends?
NO!
That's what drives me wild, the people who want to have it all. They want to be rock stars and have a family and live a normal life... That's not how you make it. You make it by being single-minded, giving up everything but the cause. And still, you might not succeed. You might get blown up by a bomb just when you're getting close. Even worse, you might get blown away when you're far from the target. Are you willing to take that risk?
OF COURSE NOT!
You don't want any risk. All you want is GUARANTEES!
Everybody in America, you can't take anything away from them. If one more songwriter e-mails me about Napster and Spotify I'm gonna scream. THINGS CHANGE! Adjust or get out of the game. The past is never coming back!
And all you gun nuts, thinking the Second Amendment gives you the right to protect yourself from a heinous government... If you think an assault rifle has a chance against the U.S. military, you're delusional. Not only do they have night vision goggles, they've got satellites and drones that can track you when you leave the house. Yup, they've got footage of everybody in the compound except Bin Laden. Right there on camera!
And why do I have to go see a movie about something I already know about? Because you've got no idea of the tension and the anxiety of a mission. It's one thing to read about it in the newspaper, it's another to be on the ground in a foreign country with your life on the line. Kathryn Bigelow depicts that so well!
And she's over sixty!
But find someone green-lighting movies that age.
No, you're too old to know. You're ready for the scrapheap.
But you gain through experience. "Hurt Locker" was just a stepping stone to "Zero Dark Thirty."
My mind never wandered. The tension was nearly excruciating. I knew it was a movie, but I also knew it was real. That there are smart people who are not worried about the number of Facebook friends they've got, but the bigger issues of life.
Yup, stay home. Be a pussy. Pontificate without even seeing the flick.
Or, you can go to the theatre and be positively blown away.
I was.
--
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Sunday 20 January 2013
Spike Publicity
Justin Timberlake got everybody to pay attention for twenty four hours.
And now we're done.
David Bowie's reign was a bit longer, he was gone longer, but we all know when the album comes out it will sell for a week, and then fall off the chart.
Used to be it took forever to reach everybody. Now everybody knows in a day and then moves on.
It's kinda like the streaming model, it doesn't matter if someone buys your record so much as whether they LISTEN to it!
How can you get someone to listen to your record? Especially in a world full of diversions. Used to be nothing was happening, teenagers were bored, they had time on their hands to marinate in mediocre, to embrace it and call it their own. Now everybody's foraging for phenomenal and if you're not, you're history.
Justin Timberlake blew his wad. Everybody listened, callout research is mediocre, and even old wave radio, which major labels depend upon, may not continue to spin it.
Now what?
If you're not rethinking your game, you're going to be plowed under. Forgotten. Irrelevant.
Either go on the road and play your hits.
Or stay at home and live on investments.
There's always room for great. The problem is it's almost impossible to bat 1000. Baseball players hit 300 and they're in the Hall of Fame. But in modern music it's believed that nothing should be released before its time, so everybody massages the tracks into irrelevance.
What Justin Timberlake should say is... You didn't like that? Well, here's another one! And another one! And another one! He should be doing his art in front of us, we should be seeing the creative process, and if he lands on something good we'll embrace it and spread the word.
But in this case only he and his band of yeasayers believed the track was worthy. The public shrugged its shoulders. Same with Christina Aguilera. They're all detached from their fans, they're all playing to gatekeepers who are bombarded with content and mean less every day.
David Bowie gets into every publication known to man, both music and straight media, but try finding someone who can sing the song. People listened once and moved on.
Is this the modern paradigm? A spike of publicity and then history?
OF COURSE NOT!
A star is no longer just someone who plays.
A star is someone with a symbiotic relationship with his or her audience. Who's constantly creating, revealing what's happening behind the curtain, reacting to feedback and testing limits.
If you're doing it the old way, you're toast.
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And now we're done.
David Bowie's reign was a bit longer, he was gone longer, but we all know when the album comes out it will sell for a week, and then fall off the chart.
Used to be it took forever to reach everybody. Now everybody knows in a day and then moves on.
It's kinda like the streaming model, it doesn't matter if someone buys your record so much as whether they LISTEN to it!
How can you get someone to listen to your record? Especially in a world full of diversions. Used to be nothing was happening, teenagers were bored, they had time on their hands to marinate in mediocre, to embrace it and call it their own. Now everybody's foraging for phenomenal and if you're not, you're history.
Justin Timberlake blew his wad. Everybody listened, callout research is mediocre, and even old wave radio, which major labels depend upon, may not continue to spin it.
Now what?
If you're not rethinking your game, you're going to be plowed under. Forgotten. Irrelevant.
Either go on the road and play your hits.
Or stay at home and live on investments.
There's always room for great. The problem is it's almost impossible to bat 1000. Baseball players hit 300 and they're in the Hall of Fame. But in modern music it's believed that nothing should be released before its time, so everybody massages the tracks into irrelevance.
What Justin Timberlake should say is... You didn't like that? Well, here's another one! And another one! And another one! He should be doing his art in front of us, we should be seeing the creative process, and if he lands on something good we'll embrace it and spread the word.
But in this case only he and his band of yeasayers believed the track was worthy. The public shrugged its shoulders. Same with Christina Aguilera. They're all detached from their fans, they're all playing to gatekeepers who are bombarded with content and mean less every day.
David Bowie gets into every publication known to man, both music and straight media, but try finding someone who can sing the song. People listened once and moved on.
Is this the modern paradigm? A spike of publicity and then history?
OF COURSE NOT!
A star is no longer just someone who plays.
A star is someone with a symbiotic relationship with his or her audience. Who's constantly creating, revealing what's happening behind the curtain, reacting to feedback and testing limits.
If you're doing it the old way, you're toast.
--
Visit the archive: http://lefsetz.com/wordpress/
--
http://www.twitter.com/lefsetz
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If you would like to subscribe to the LefsetzLetter,
http://www.lefsetz.com/lists/?p=subscribe&id=1
If you do not want to receive any more LefsetzLetters, http://lefsetz.com/lists?p=unsubscribe&uid=0eecea7b60b461717065cbde887c8e25
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