Saturday 4 May 2013

Clueless Stones

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLRD1R8GNgY

Utterly LAUGHABLE!

And this is the OFFICIAL CHANNEL!

Is someone brain dead there? It's almost impossible to watch this video and have a desire to go, talk about revealing the clueless men behind the curtain.

This is the Stones. A band that can't even play "The Last Time" as well as you did in middle school.

In case you've been buried in a hole, the Stones got rid of all those high-priced seats by blowing them out for $85. Four digits worth.

Doubt me?

Just read these tweets from Wes Brodsky (@WesBrodsky):

@Lefsetz how right you were... Look at the $85 ticket line at Staples for Rolling Stones. Slashed everything last min http://t.co/x9Lh0q45OC

@Lefsetz btw that line wraps around 3 times. Must be 2-3k tickets that got released at the $85 price point

Click through to that pic. You'll be stunned.

Then again, that's how it used to be, back when concert tickets cost 3, 4 and 5 dollars. Before greed turned everybody into a bottom-fisher.

In other words, these people would have gone for a reasonable price, they wanted to attend, but not for $600.

Meanwhile, they couldn't even bake in the fees?

I mean even the Eagles, who broke the triple digit ducat figure, don't have the chutzpah to charge extra, they include the fees in the ticket price.

But the dirty little secret is the twenty seven to forty bucks in fees are promoter profit.

In other words, the Stones are not part of the solution, but part of the PROBLEM!

And is anybody really gonna pay $600 for a ticket after this? Or are they just gonna wait for the bargain? This is how Ron Johnson lost his job running J.C. Penney, by trying to turn a second-rate brand based on discounts into his previous employer, Apple.

But even Apple doesn't insult you with prices this high.

Yup, you can see the Stones or buy an iPad, which will give you years of functionality, well, at least until the Cupertino company supersedes the model you've got, unlike the Stones, who've been playing the same old songs for decades.

And I got this interesting e-mail from a scalper:

"From: Brad Coombs
Re: Stones Tickets

Bob:

A few observations from my brother-in-law at Circle City Tickets, in Indianapolis.

Brad,

He's right on everything about how the markets work and that eventually people just say screw it I'm not going.

With social media if people are thinking that way it only takes a short time to get a "tipping point" where virtually no one new is going and the sales just stop. You'll always have the die-hards that will find a way to go no matter what but after that a lot of people only go so as not to be out of the loop socially.

Thanks for forwarding.

Mike

Mike Peduto
Circle City Tickets"

Yup, resellers know the game better than the Stones!

But come on, if the above video isn't taken down by time you read this, I'd be stunned.

There's no energy. The crowd looks like a parody of the seventies. The band is so thin they make Gwen Stefani look fat, and she looks like she stepped onto the set of "Cocoon," and she sucks besides...well, she adds nothing. Why didn't the band get someone their own age? It's not like the audience cares about Stefani, maybe only the press. Where was Bonnie Raitt, Buddy Guy? Fergie worked on the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame special because that was made for everybody, for HBO, not fans.

So if anybody who was at this show says it was great, they're lying. Because we have evidence. This horrible video.

The Stones shouldn't have gone out at all.

They're a laughingstock.

Video may have killed the radio star, but social media and the Internet put a stake in the heart of the Rolling Stones, who should have quit while they were ahead, kept their money and stayed home.

They're an insult to history.

They rehearsed?

Paul McCartney is better in his SLEEP!


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Jazz Fest-Day Three

1

"Last night in Memphis
Tonight in New Orleans"

That's right, I'm with the band. Where we all want to be.

If you don't know Little Big Town's "The Road To Here," you're unaware of the best Fleetwood Mac album the legendary band didn't cut.

Oh, they played their megahit "Pontoon." Even the minor smash "Tornado." But what made my day was those tracks from the "The Road To Here," "Bones" and "Boondocks," and..."I'm With The Band."

I'd be lying if I told you the crowd in front of the Acura Stage cared. They were all just camped out for Fleetwood Mac. En masse.

Reminded me of nothing so much of that night back in the sixties when I was crushed at a Chambers Brothers concert at Boston Common. Get squished once, you never forget it, you know it can happen again. Maybe Jazz Fest is too successful. If someone cried FIRE, even if there was none, at least a score of people would be trampled, that's just how tight it was.

And I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Little Big Town's countrified cover of "Born This Way." That got the somnambulant audience going.

But it was "I'm With The Band" that made my day, that made me feel privileged to be in attendance, pondering how far I've come and how far I still have to go.

"Lord I was born with a suitcase in my hand
Living in a life that few could understand
Sometimes it gets so confusing that I don't know where I am
But I always know who I'm with
I'm with the band"

That's the magic. When the guitars start to twang and the voices begin to soar. We're lifted out of our seats, onto our feet, we can't help but sing along.

And unlike Maroon 5, Little Big Town is forever. Because they had another hit, the aforementioned "Pontoon," and unlike pop, and the new rock, country never forgets.

2

"Along about eighteen twenty five
I left Tennessee very much alive
And I never would have got through the Arkansas mud
If I hadn't been a'ridin' that Tennessee stud"

Jimmy Driftwood wrote it, the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band did the definitive version with Doc Watson, but the Little Willies performed it this afternoon.

Songs last.

And they're not the ones that make the hit parade so much as those that infect musicians, who keep them alive.

3

"If it keeps on rainin', levee's gonna break"

Come on, it's my second favorite Led Zeppelin song, after "Ten Years Gone" and maybe "Battle Of Evermore." It's the headbanging riff and the drums!

And that's the one thing that Galactic could not replicate.

Still, today the rain finally stopped. But this is the land of levees, the original was done by Memphis Minnie and Kansas Joe. And to hear that harmonica and those lyrics is to get your body swaying back and forth, like you're running the river with Huck Finn, like nothing matters other than this moment.

I heard no more from Galactic, but this was enough.

4

The Preservation Hall Jazz Band was better than billed. It was the energy, the dancing, the fun!

Once upon a time we didn't dance to electronics, but real instruments and people. The Preservation Hall Jazz Band will remind you of that era.

5

I'd be lying if I told you the highlight of Phoenix's performance was the band.

It was FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA! Sitting right there, next to his daughter and grandkids.

This is the guy who did "Godfather" and "Godfather II," possibly the best two flicks in the canon. He was relaxed, taking in his son-in-law's band, but I couldn't stop thinking about his brain..."Apocalypse Now," how did he come up with all that? Musicians are not the only living legends.

And sure, I'd talk to Spielberg.

I've stood next to George Lucas.

But they're the Stones.

Francis Ford Coppola is THE BEATLES!

And Phoenix radiated energy and managed to enthrall the crowd by being themselves, which is so different from the rest of the hit parade, who strive to sound just like everybody else.

It was the synths...

And the drummers.

Two. Who were so powerful I think they might have been able to replicate John Bonham's parts.

6

Last night I went to a party at Terence Blanchard's house.

He lives on a main rue in the Garden District, an edifice so spacious and spectacular you ponder moving to New Orleans yourself.

And when he stood up and blew with Dee Dee Bridgewater and Shelly Berg I got those goose bumps you feel when you're in the presence of greatness.

And just like that Joni Mitchell song, they were doing it all for free. Yup, the public pays, their friends get a glimpse for nothing.

And like everybody has e-mailed me, there's seemingly more music after the festival than during it.

Tonight I got invited to see the Black Crowes with their new guitarist, Jackie Greene.

There's a party at a bowling alley.

There's multifarious bands on Frenchmen Street.

More than you can partake of.

I'm gonna have to come back!

(But I've still got one more day to go!)


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Rhinofy-It Might Be You

Monica said she just recorded it in Spanish.

What was the name of the track again?

"Maybe It's You."

Don't know it.

But then twenty minutes later it came up again, and this time I heard it correctly, she sang IT MIGHT BE YOU!

It took just that long for the synapses to fire, to remember the Stephen Bishop number. You remember, from "Tootsie"!

That's what Mitch said. I referenced the suit Bish wore on the Oscars, which looked like paint had been dripped upon it, and Mitch just remembered the red dress Dustin Hoffman wore in the movie. He started reminiscing about a flick from thirty years ago, which we all know so well.

Isn't it funny how the shoot-em-ups make all the money, but it's those that touch our hearts that truly live on.

And I know Bish.

Used to see him all the time at Harold's house. We connected over women. We were both single, me freshly separated, Stephen never married, with great insight and a good sense of humor. You see these people on stage, you hear them on the radio, you've got no idea what they're truly like. Then you meet them and you realize THEY'RE JUST LIKE YOU! Only a lot more successful.

You remember "On and On". Which I always mixed up in my mind with Rupert Holmes' "Pina Colada Song" (formally known as "Escape"), even though they're very different, but they were both AM hits when everybody listened to the FM, everybody hip, but both were about...being away.

"Down in Jamaica they got lots of pretty women
Steal your money then they break your heart"

"On and On" is one of those tracks you think is too wimpy when it's a hit and then years later you realize it's truly magic, especially when you find out the guy who wrote and sang it is anything but wimpy.

But Bishop didn't write "It Might Be You." The music was by Dave Grusin, the lyrics by Alan and Marilyn Bergman. But it sounds just like him! Most people are stunned to find out he didn't write it.

Then again, he delivers it.

But the production is key, it sounds like a TV theme, anything but rock and roll. The way it starts quietly, coming over the hill, it makes you think of a sitcom, like "Mary Tyler Moore." And then there are the accents, which you sing along to, when you hear the track and know they represent "Maybe it's you," which is sung over and over again later in the song.

And the verses are meaningful, but sappy.

Then there's the chorus...

"Something's telling me it might be you
It's telling me it might be you"

MIGHT! You know the feeling, when you're talking to somebody the first time and you get that feeling, somewhere in your upper chest, THIS COULD BE THE ONE!

And when you leave the engagement you're walking on air, basking in the euphoria of the connection. The next day is a complete write-off, all you can do is think of them. You're in your own mind and you love it. You'd almost rather not call or text or e-mail, for fear the spell will be broken.

But it's the end of the song that truly resonates, the aforementioned "Maybe it's yous"

"Maybe it's you
Maybe it's you
I've been waiting for all of my life"

I've been waiting for so long, barking up trees, kissing frogs, but finally...I might have found the one.

"Maybe it's you
Maybe it's you
I've been waiting for all of my life"

This is the essence. This is what the song sounds like. Hope. That a better life is coming down the pike. That while you were just minding your own business your whole life became complete.

And every time you listen to the track, you love it more.

Because of the foreshadowing.

The wandering verses.

And the resolution.

Great music is not about genres. It's about songs, production and performance.

And life isn't about achievements, but feelings.

And when I listen to "It Might Be You" I feel like life is made to work out. That when you're down and out it'll surprise you. Just maybe...

Spotify link: http://spoti.fi/p6HcZ8

Previous Rhinofy playlists: http://www.rhinofy.com/lefsetz


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Friday 3 May 2013

Jazz Fest-Day Two

There was this chick from Belgrade who positively wailed!

Yes, I said "chick," get over it, that's what the girls say, it's not a pejorative. And she was in a slinky red dress and was squeezing out the notes like a modern day Van Halen and with her horn section and backup singers she had the Blues Tent enthralled. That's the power of live music, something too many people don't get to experience now that clubs have gone canned and everybody overcharges.

I won't say all the performers were fantastic, but the Gospel Tent lives up to its rep. You're ready to convert on the spot. Irma Thomas played to more than a packed house, they were stacked outside the gate...take that Sahara Tent!

But my favorite was Jerry Douglas.

It was hard to get close to him, the stage he played upon was engulfed in mud. But he set my mind a-driftin' and that's what I like most about music, when it puts me in a reflective mood, contemplating the past and pondering the future as the clouds roll in over the Pontchartrain...

Clouds...

It did rain this morning.

But it was followed by extreme cold. You know, the kind you get on the Cape in September, when you want it to be summer, but no amount of willin' will make it so.

And Maroon 5...

Made me feel old.

Not because the music was so new and fresh, but because I've seen it before. Headliners come and go, the journeymen play on.

In other words, ten years from now Maroon 5 won't be at Jazz Fest, but so many on the undercard will be.

Still, the crowd was frightening. There's gonna be a Cincinnati moment at one of these festivals one of these days. Hell, it already happened in Europe. And the promoters are gonna throw their hands in the air and say it never occurred to them, there's nothing they can do.

But that's B.S.

But the highlight of Jazz Fest is the food.

I had a pulled pork Po-Boy that was delish.

As was the Natchitoches Meat Pie.

Everybody in L.A. doesn't eat. More important than your bank account is your figure. Oh, you can spend hundreds on a meal, you just won't get much, just the privilege of being able to say you ate there.

But Louisiana food is for those with appetites. Who believe in texture and flavor. And what else are we living for if it isn't great food and aural pleasure?

P.S. That blues act was Ana Popovic & Mo' Better Love, read about her here: http://lineup.nojazzfest.com/band/ana-popov

P.P.S. Also exceptional was Grayson Capps, at the Lagniappe Stage.

P.P.P.S. Festivals are helping bring us back to the garden, they allow the hoi polloi to partake of so much at the smorgasbord. But we've got to find a way to get the general public in the habit of seeing these acts live in their own communities. Movies are good at home, live music is not. And live music is an irreplaceable sensation that satiates in a way no other amusement can. But somehow greed and fame have trumped the essence. Nurture the essence, good times will return.


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Thursday 2 May 2013

Jazz Fest

Rubber boots.

They should put that on the website, print it on the tickets, that's the one thing you need more than your appetite and your ears at Jazz Fest, RUBBER BOOTS!

Come on, you've seen the Woodstock movie, heard its album, with the chant of "No Rain! No Rain!" Well I've been living in Southern California so damn long I forgot that it precipitates elsewhere. I'm just stunned every live event isn't indoors or in SoCal.

So I'm exiting the Widespread Panic show...

Whoa, let's stop there. I'm standing on the side of the stage as this two plus decade old concoction of musicians pours its sound over the thousands in attendance. That's why you do it, not for the money, not for the fame, there's nowhere else you can get that rush.

And as I'm walking to our vehicle I'm confronted with a sea of mud, not the "Sea Of Madness" that Neil Young sang about so eloquently at 1969's legendary rock festival, but maybe it was. You know that feeling, when the only way out is through? That's what it was like.

But if you're thinking getting your shoes and trousers dirty is the worst crime, you're mistaken. You see there are snakes in that mud, that reach up and pull your shoes right off! You suddenly realize why so many are going barefoot. They crossed this sea of ooze and when they stepped up, there was a giant sucking sound, their shoes were pulled under.

That's what I was worried about. That not only my shoes, but my whole damn body would be pulled beneath the earth and reside forevermore in New Orleans.

That's where I am. Just a couple of blocks from Bourbon Street.

And you know what's great about Bourbon Street? The people! They haven't got ugly, lumpy, imperfect people in Los Angeles, they're stopped at the border, like in "The Grapes Of Wrath." But here in Louisiana I came in contact with the real America, one that descends to the southern tip of our country to let loose, because while those on the coast are pursuing their career dreams, those in the middle know it's about having fun, and that's what you do in New Orleans, party.

And the food!

Yesterday it was fried oysters and soft-shell crab.

Today it was fried alligator and pork cheek terrine. If you're the type who needs pictures, try these:

http://bit.ly/16vHwvY

http://bit.ly/133G8Nq

Lunch was at Cachon. Where I saw Patti Smith enter just before we left. Before we went back to the hotel to get umbrellas to deal with the downpour.

As for Jazz Fest itself... It's about music! What a concept!

That's not what the press is about. The press is all about money and fame. But most of the acts at Jazz Fest have neither. So they can just wail for the fun of it.

The Gospel Tent lives up to its legend. There's just something about a score of people singing from their hearts, exuding joy, it's contagious.

And there's blues, folk and jazz, and even headliners.

And I don't know what the future of music in America is. There's none in the schools and most of it's whored out product made to be sold to corporations. But there's something refreshing having the sound pour over you and knowing that that's it, that's all you're gonna get, that it's not about virality, spreading the word, but listening.

Listen To The Music (it's a reference to the second Doobie Brothers album in case you don't get the reference): http://bit.ly/ZqHazw

Bourbon Street (where I heard a band cover "You Never Give Me Your Money" almost as good as McCartney, and I saw a dude doing such a good karaoke job with "Some Kind Of Wonderful" if you closed your eyes you'd have thought it was Mark Farner): http://bit.ly/ZCTIrg


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Re: The Album

On this album thing.....
Yes its a dead format (especially on the CD) but I would like to think that it is possible to release viable collections of songs
and not just the chart single thing which to my mind is just as marginalised as the album.
We live in a cultural desert. There has to be a way of giving people more substantial musical feed than the bullshit currently offered......
The biz needs to be deconstructed.....musicians need to be interesting and CREATIVE and stop getting seduced by the bullsh*t.
But to say there is no mileage in song cycles of any kind is like saying we only want the first movement of the Eroica and forget the funeral march!!!!!

Karl Wallinger
World Party


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Wednesday 1 May 2013

Stones Tickets

It's a disaster.

And it's hiding in plain sight. All you've got to do is go to their site and see what's available, your jaw will drop.

Enthralled with the ancient British rockers, the mainstream press has completely dropped the ball on this story. So busy reporting last weekend's club gig, the sycophantic reporters refuse to do any...reporting. To see that the bottom just dropped out of the Stones business.

Yes, go to http://www.rollingstones.com

And click to "Get Tickets."

Then pull up May 3rd's gig at the Staples Center in Los Angeles, America's number two market, home to more poseurs than anywhere but the Cote d'Azur.

First you'll be stunned how seamlessly AXS works. We've been told for eons that Ticketmaster is an unbeatable champion. But AXS is faster, easier and just an all-around better experience.

So pick the May 3rd gig. If you can't navigate to this page, stop reading this now, you're too ignorant to get the points I'm going to be making anyway.

Select 2 seats. Don't allow for splits. There are frequently single seats available in good sections for the most desirable gigs.

Select "Best seat at any price level."

Then click on "Find Tickets."

Whew!

You can sit right down front!

But it gets better!

You can still get 8 seats together in desirable sections!

Which means...

Sales are horrific.

It's even worse for the May 20th gig. You can still get 8 seats together right down front!

How did this happen?

GREED!

Let me tell you how this works. AEG pays the Stones whether they sell out or they don't, whether anybody shows up or the hall is empty.

This is a far cry from the way business was done in the years the Stones became the "World's Greatest Rock & Roll Band."

Used to be there was a guarantee, and then a split after break even.

But then Michael Cohl revolutionized the business.

And then Bob Sillerman rolled up the promoters and the acts had a field day, raping big time promoters for huge guarantees.

And the small shows got squeezed out, only the big ones counted in the mind of the public. And the Internet burgeoned. And suddenly, scalping became rampant. Even via the eBay company StubHub, never mind by individuals speculating.

And the game was rigged. There were so many pre-sales and holdbacks that demand seemed to outstrip supply in all cases. So resale prices went through the roof!

And until 2008, everybody was loaded with cash, the rich still are, they want to go to the show not to see it, but to say they were there.

And Mick Jagger is pissed these people have more money than he does. He wants to fly private and vacation without the hoi polloi, so he needs to rip you off, he needs to get all that money!

That's what the inflated ticket prices are all about. Making sure scalpers don't get the markup.

But this time around, prices are so damn high the public is balking, which surprises even me, because this truly looks like the last tour. But what we've learned here is the mania surrounding recent Stones shows has been created by the press, there's just not that much demand, people cared more about Miley Cyrus and Beanie Babies. Yes, parents care more about their kids than decrepit rockers.

The initial shows last fall did well. Because of the mainstream press around the marketing angle of fifty years...

But just like the Cream comeback was an event in London and a dud in New York City, the bloom is off the rose, there's no story, people just don't care.

Do they care for $100?

A lot more.

Then again, the Stones have been doing weak business for eons. You could always get a ticket.

So where does this leave us?

In the land of Kid Rock. Where everybody scales back, where we have a reset, where even the execs take less.

Because what once was is no longer.

The Stones have jumped the shark.

And that means most of the other classic rock acts have too.

Furthermore, if you think the Stones are phenomenal in concert, you haven't seen them, or are used to the Grateful Dead. They lock on occasionally, otherwise, it's rough.

So if you're against paperless ticketing, you're a weasel. That's what delivered $600 tickets, fear that the scalpers would take too much of the profit.

And if you're against airline style variable pricing, you're part of the problem too. Because if we had such a system, AEG could lower the price and sell out. But now they can't.

Oh, they'll find some way to fill the hall. The biggest stars paper, from Springsteen to Kenny Chesney.

And a loss is in the offing, unless the Stones give back.

But they won't.

But maybe they will. Dainty dropped out because he couldn't come up with the money. Maybe if AEG does a great job they'll get a better, profitable deal in the rest of the world.

Yes, at some point, everybody drops out. The deal becomes too expensive. Not only for the promoters, but the public.

But this is what income inequality has wrought. Acts pissed that record sales have dropped have raised ticket prices so high the public has now cried UNCLE!


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Tuesday 30 April 2013

Buyer's Guide

MOBILE PROVIDER

Verizon.

You live by your connection. It's the key to your life. We live in an era of communication and information, and if you don't have a signal, you're out of the loop. Verizon has more service in more locations and more LTE than any other provider.

Sprint is LTE challenged.

AT&T is a bit better, but still sucks.

T-Mobile is so lame, they had to reinvent their business model.

Don't be afraid to change. Just because tens of millions of people are on AT&T, that does not mean it doesn't suck.

You can either live in nirvana or nowheresville.

Switch to Verizon immediately.

(And don't trust me, trust "Consumer Reports," where Verizon is at the top and AT&T at the bottom in every survey. And, of course, Verizon is not perfect, it doesn't work at your house, get the service that does.)

MOBILE PHONE

iPhone 5.

I'm not going to get into an Android versus iPhone debate. If you are a power user and happy with your Android, that's fine by me. But the reason you use the iPhone is because of uniformity, they all work the same, support, you can just walk into the Genius Bar, the curated app store and its lack of malware, and the ability to upgrade the software easily.

iPHONE TO BUY

The iPhone 5.

Do not cheap out and buy a 4S or a 4. That's just plain ignorant. You think you're saving $100 or $200, but the real story is you're paying for these phones over two years, the life of the contract, so you should get the best. Don't be penny wise and pound foolish.

And the reason you want the iPhone 5 is not the faster chip or the extra row of icons, but LTE. Surfing on LTE on Verizon is faster than many people's home connection. The 4S and 4 are 3G devices only. LTE is to 3G as cycling is to walking.

COMPUTER

The one you've got.

Don't buy a new computer unless yours is broken or doesn't do something. Yes, if you upgrade you'll get something faster, but you're mainly surfing the web, and that's more a function of your Internet connection than your chip/hardware.

IF YOU BUY A NEW COMPUTER

Get a Mac. Because Windows 8 sucks. Trying to be everything, it's nothing.

INTERNET CONNECTION

Cable or FiOS, that's it. Absolutely do not buy home DSL, it's positively glacial in speed. You think you're saving money on the triple-play, but the joke is on you. You want at least 15 down and 1 up. Go to speedtest.net and check your speed. If it does not reach these numbers, upgrade.

AUTOMOBILE

Japanese.

German cars are better engineered and provide a better driving experience.

Despite the hype, American autos still aren't as problem free.

Just buy a Toyota and forget about it. If you need European status, know that you're gonna pay for it.

California leads in automobiles. The best-selling model? The Toyota Prius.

Yes, the Tesla Model S is a dream, but if you don't think there's a penalty in being an early adopter, you've never been one.

STREAMING MUSIC SERVICE

Unclear.

Spotify is the leader, but its search sucks and there are too many pauses. MOG, soon to be Daisy, has high quality streams, but a bad interface. The problem with Rdio is no one else is on it. And first and foremost, music is social.

You must have a streaming service subscription. Otherwise, you're out of the loop. You need to be able to check out new music instantly. There are no long term contracts. Sign up for Spotify today and be prepared to switch if something else is better and that's where all the people end up going.

DOWNLOADS

Don't buy 'em. A waste of money. They sound bad and are not forever. Oh, they'll last forever, it's just that technology marches on and today's formats are left in the dust. Just try opening a Word 1.5 document in today's program.

Streaming wins.

Just about everything available on iTunes is available for streaming. And when new, higher quality formats come online, you won't have to upgrade your collection.

CDs

For the ignorant. Vinyl sounds better. But they're both impractical, and we live in an era of convenience.

ONLINE VIDEO SERVICE

Forget Vimeo, DailyMotion is only good for porn, YouTube wins. That's what the old guard doesn't understand about the Internet. There's one winner. One iTunes, one Amazon, one YouTube...

TELEVISION

Samsung.

Everything's good, but Samsung is the best, and no more expensive than its direct competition. Of course you can buy a plasma with better blacks, but that format is not forever, just ask Pioneer.

BEST HOME COFFEE MACHINE

Technivorm Moccamaster.

It's about the water, getting it hot enough.

Don't cheap out. You drink coffee every day, you spend so much on beans, lay out the almost three hundred dollars, you'll thank me.

BEST PRINTER

HP.

Because they own the market. Competitors are good, but HP will update drivers first. In tech, you want to go where the swarm does.

BEST COLLEGE

The best one you get into. You can employ the ratings at the "U.S. News & World Report" to guide you. I'm not saying they're accurate, but they reflect perception. And you don't go to college to learn in the classroom, but outside of it, by interaction with the students. You'll upgrade your game by hanging with smarter, sharper, more worldly students. If you need training, go to graduate school. If you're worried about the money... Top tier colleges are worth it. They're worth borrowing for. If you don't get into one and are worried about cash, go for the cheaper option, save money, your mileage will be the same at the second or third tier liberal arts school as it will be at the state university.

BEST NEWS SOURCE

"New York Times" or "Wall Street Journal."

Because they both still have reporters. The locals have cut back too far and there's no depth in TV coverage, all they've got is the reporters you see on screen. Forget the financials, forget the supposed liberal bias, the "New York Times" sets the agenda for both parties, because it provides the most comprehensive coverage.

BEST PREMIUM CABLE CHANNEL

Showtime.

You really need both Showtime and HBO, but even though HBO shows get most of the press, there's more risk and more depth on Showtime.

BEST CABLES

Monoprice.

Don't waste your money on anything more expensive.

BEST E-MAIL PROVIDER

Gmail.

Get off of AOL, it's too slow. You could receive e-mail days late. Gmail's got all the features you want and Google keeps investing in it, everybody's there for a reason.


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Motivation

"Listen, when I'm competin' I'm suicidal... This is my only moment to show the world who I am 'cause my self-esteem is so low I never...they're gonna know my name now!"

Mike Tyson

Successful people are not normal people.

They've got something to prove.

I don't care if you're CEO of a Fortune 500 company or Elton John, if you're at the top of the heap you're just not regular folk, you're warped, you didn't get enough love from your mother, you were abandoned by your father, you're so anxious and angry you believe the only way your life will be complete is if you win the trophy and get the adulation of those beneath you.

But that doesn't work.

That's why the superrich buy all those cars and houses, they're tying to fill a hole inside so big and empty that it'll swallow everything you put in it, and more.

You see it's just too hard. To be that rejected, that broke, that duplicitous, that single-minded. If you think artists are fun people, you haven't hung around any, or they're not successful. Yup, we all know someone with an amazing voice, great guitar talent, we say they could have made it. But they didn't, because they just didn't have that killer instinct.

Oh, the greats learn how to be nice. But if you haven't read a rider wherein the act's demands are out of control, if you haven't listened to the audio clip where Art Garfunkel or whomever is so particular and so warped, you don't have an Internet connection.

My friend Seth Godin wrote a post yesterday about waiting to be picked:

http://bit.ly/ZeRPNP

I found that less interesting than his follow-up today, which dealt with the blowback.

http://bit.ly/11TXKtr

People have been exposed to so much self-help crap that they believe they're entitled to be successful. They think it's a math problem. If I rehearse this much and have this many Twitter followers, I should be rich and famous. Hogwash. Not only is there luck involved, there's a killer instinct, a monomania, that those who've never made it have never been exposed to.

Kind of like at the corporation...

If you think the best and the brightest make it to the top, you work at home, alone. No, making it within the Fortune 500 is all about the politics, the ass-kissing, the gifts, the sucking up. Oh, you've got to have the goods, that's a given.

In other words, the Harvard degree and the powerful parents will get you in the door, but they won't move you up the ladder.

It's even worse in entertainment, because education and family lineage have almost nothing to do with it. Everybody's beginning from the same starting line. And those who don't make it always have excuses.

Ever notice that careers have an arc?

The press says it's because the entertainers age out.

No, usually they burn out, they lose their motivation. Because once they get what they thought they wanted, and discover it doesn't fill the hole, doesn't answer all their problems, they can't do it anymore.

You rail against the President, make fun of those atop the pop chart. And that's a fun game to play at home, but you've got no idea what it took to get there, in the game. The reason Taylor Swift doesn't know how to handle rejection is because she was so busy trying to make it, knocking on doors and playing at radio stations, that she didn't have a normal life, where the rest of us learn to adjust.

And once you make it to rarefied air, who do you discuss your problems with? I mean who does Madonna talk to, who gets it? We laugh at her, with the plastic surgery and the workouts, but you can't deny her sheer will, she's unwilling to be forgotten, she's doing everything in her power to stay relevant.

The untalented sell their souls, and personalities, on reality television. At this late date, everybody knows the power lies in the hands of the editors. The nicest person can be made to look like a bitch.

But those people are kicked to the curb as soon as the shows get canceled.

And the same applies to today's plethora of one hit wonders, faces on the productions of the usual suspects.

But if you make it on your talent, if you break through, you're in a special club wherein everybody knows your name, but no one knows who you really are. You're hated despite being unknown. You've got money but buying stuff no longer makes you happy.

You know why big bands love going on tour?

FOR THE RUSH! The roar of the crowd as they take the stage. That wave of love, each and every night before they retire to the back of the bus alone, or with the same jerks they've hated since high school.

You think you want it.

But you don't even know what it really is.

P.S. The Tyson quote is from his interview yesterday with Howard Stern. If you think you know him, you're wrong. Mike is broke, smart and nice. He's survived, so far: http://bit.ly/YkBQCI


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Monday 29 April 2013

Emotion

Why does everybody think they can write?

Ten years ago, a book crept into the public consciousness and has remained there, the author became internationally famous and gives high-priced speeches to corporations in far-flung communities to this day. That book was "The Tipping Point," that author was Malcolm Gladwell.

First and foremost, Gladwell can write. And he can tell a story, via both prose and voice. Just because you know how to type and speak, please don't believe you can do the same.

Then again, unlike Gladwell you were not an unknown reporter before you broke through. You want to go from 0-60 instantly, and despite a hundred years of automotive development, this is still an impossibility. You believe if you did it, we're interested.

Now you've got to start somewhere. But even though you can spam me and put your track on iTunes I'll tell you where you live, OBSCURITY!

Yesterday someone e-mailed me the original version of Frank Zappa's "Status Back Baby," from 1963:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmcdmIauPpk

Yes, long before the Beatles, when the Four Seasons ruled, Frank Zappa was cutting his insightful music to absolutely no acclaim, he had to wait years until not only the market was ready for him, but he'd refined his recording to wide audience palatability.

So if you're thinking you made it so we should care, I'll say that despite the Internet, some things never change. The greats are still ten plus year overnight sensations.

But we all wrote in school. Can't we write a book?

I'm reading the new business self-help book, "Contagious: Why Things Catch On." Written by a tirelessly self-promoting Wharton professor, the information is good, but the writing is subpar, I cannot recommend it, despite it containing a wealth of insight. If your book doesn't call to me in the middle of the night, if I can't read it without my eyes rolling into the back of my head, I can't recommend it.

Gladwell knows writing is about story. And the author, Jonah Berger, is smart enough to know he's got to contain anecdotes, but the book is mostly analysis. Gladwell shows through example, Berger explains.

Kind of like our modern musical artists. They can Facebook and Tweet, they can market like crazy, but they don't know great music must contain emotion, it must have the seed of its own virality inside.

There's an example of virality in Berger's book, an article that leapt on to the "New York Times" most e-mailed list, about "how fluid and gas dynamic theories were being used in medical research."

Huh? Who cares?

That's exactly Berger's point.

But accompanying the article was a picture of a cough. You could actually see it. People forwarded the article because it hit them emotionally, they were in awe.

Just like I constantly tell people my favorite Beatles track is "Every Little Thing."

You can break down the chords, you can analyze the lyrics, but the bottom line is it hits me emotionally, it makes me feel something. All the great records do. Does yours?

As Berger says:

"When we care, we share."

But he goes on from there:

"as Albert Einstein himself noted, 'The most beautiful emotion we can experience is the mysterious. It is the power of all true art and science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead.'"

That's why you hate the Top Forty. The essence of music is too often absent. Blame the executives, who control production. Used to be they gave free reign to the artists, but in search of money, they squeezed the essence out. Music is not formula, it's magic.

Kind of like Roxy Music's "More Than This." Listening to it instantly takes you away, puts you in a mood that has you wondering what inspired Bryan Ferry to write it.

And there are further gems in Berger's book. But it's gonna stop cold, its virality is limited, because it's lacking the emotion of a great storyteller, a great singer, come on, listen to John Lennon sing "Every Little Thing," he's not singing words on a page, he's been through something, he's singing TRUTH!

So since you can text someone instantly, can watch video on demand, people believe you can create art the same way.

But this is patently untrue. Art is usually concocted off the grid.

But when done right, it sells itself.

You don't want to know that, you want to quantify it, you want to believe it's easy, but it's not.

"Contagious: The Secret Behind Why Things Catch On": http://jonahberger.com

"The Mysterious Cough, Caught on Film": http://nyti.ms/11SjLsO

The Beatles, "Every Little Thing": http://bit.ly/dowNM8

Roxy Music, "More Than This": http://bit.ly/9LvGwR


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Sunday 28 April 2013

The $20 Ticket

Can Kid Rock change the concert business?

His father sold Lincolns.

Where I grew up, there were no rich people. No bankers, no right wing titans ranting the poor were lazy and the government was taking all their hard-earned money. Some dads worked for the electric company, others sold insurance or held blue-collar jobs. The upper middle class were doctors and lawyers. And just beneath this tier were the auto dealers. We knew who they were, because their stores all featured their names.

We were all in it together. Sure, you could be unpopular, you could be bullied, but there was no velvet rope, no class parties or junkets that you just could not afford. And when we all saw the Beatles, we picked up guitars and started to play. And money had nothing to do with it, the music and the screaming and the energy drew us in.

Music is now the province of the underclass. No one smart is going to dedicate his or her life to a musical career, they might give it a year or two after college, but then they're going to hotfoot it to graduate school, they don't want to be left behind. The dirty little secret is most starving artists are not artists. They're just poor people who can't make it who call themselves artists. They're not at the bar discussing Camus, they're on the couch watching the Kardashians wondering why someone won't pay them.

So you're not gonna get a revolution from the poor people who do gain notoriety in the music business. Because first and foremost they need the money! This is their way out!

As for the businessmen who grease the wheels? No one knows who they are. The days of high-flying label titans are through. Clive is riding into the sunset and Tommy got kicked out and won't be let back in. No one knows who Michael Rapino is, the press never talk about the fact he's the most powerful person in the music business, since he wields the checkbook, and smart managers and agents were always faceless, knowing if they have a profile, their artists will fire them, just ask Terry McBride.

So Kid Rock gets a hair up his ass about ticket fees. And unlike the public, he's got power to exact change.

That's another thing about today's artists. They all blame someone else. "Who me coach?" They're slackers who believe responsibility is anathema.

But Kid Rock is different. He grew up in a middle class family. When he supports Republicans he thinks they're the close-cropped, reasonable, educated men of yore. But Nelson Rockefeller is now a Democrat, as is Ronald Reagan. Rock's values don't align with the Tea Party. And first and foremost he believes in giving back. I.e. his beer and clothing company in Detroit that employ locals as opposed to exporting the jobs to Asia and crying there was no choice.

So it's 2011 and Rock is on an arena tour and the fees on his tickets are $14.25. And that's just too much. He wants them down to five bucks.

How does he achieve this?

Via transparency. Unlike the fans, Rock is not stupid. He knows the money doesn't all go to Ticketmaster, there are kickbacks to buildings and promoters.

But rather than push the ball uphill, he decides to start with his own business. By lowering the price of t-shirts. Instead of the rip-off price of $35-$40, he drops them to $20-$25. His merch company had a fit. But, as stated earlier, the artist has all the power, Rock demanded the drop. And he saw sales go up...and it got him to thinking...

So Rock and his manager had a meeting with Rapino. The essence of which was, "You show me yours and I'll show you mine." Show me where every dollar is buried and I'll throw in my money and we'll start fresh.

And Rapino agreed.

Took the better part of two years to come to an agreement. The wheels of change grind slowly. But now the deal's done.

But not before Rock got another hair up his behind. Not only did he want the fee to drop to five bucks, he wanted all tickets to be $20.

Huh?

Rock's goal was to give back. To return concertgoing to what it once was. A regular habit as opposed to a vacation. That's how the business revitalizes, by getting people to the show. If it's so expensive they can only go once a year, they're gonna save up for the superstar extravaganzas, which must feature production as opposed to music to justify the cost, and ultimately everybody else loses.

But because he's intransigent, Rock then wanted no fee at all.

So a deal was struck. If you went to Wal-Mart, where they've got Live Nation kiosks, you could buy a ticket for $20, including parking, with no fee. Ticketmaster picked up the vig, furthermore, more kiosks were installed to handle the demand.

And you say that Ticketmaster is the enemy.

So what happened?

Across the board, onsales doubled or tripled from 2011. Blowing past everybody's expectations.

Irvine sold out in nine days. Came close, but didn't go clean back in 2011, they were 700 or 800 short.

Chicago went nuclear. 2011 was 16,000, they're probably gonna do 28,000.

Pittsburgh sold more in twenty four hours than the final number in 2011.

Boston did 10,000 tickets the first day.

St. Louis asked for a second date.

Sure, it's his hometown, but Rock has sold seven Detroits already. They put up four the first weekend, then three the next. They stopped it there.

Everything goes in the pot, drinks, parking, merch, Live Nation and Rock are partners. And if you think this is de rigueur, you've never sat in the trailer where the promoter shows you the two sets of books, his and the one he shows the act. And I'm not joking, there are truly two.

And there's no guarantee. If you want to revolutionize the world, you've got to put your money where your mouth is. How can we expect change without risk? It's intrinsic to the game!

But it's not only the ticket to get in, it's the beer to have a good time. Instead of double digits, beer is four bucks. And Kid Rock fans drink a lot, there's a lot of profit there, don't forget, it all goes in the pot, Live Nation and Rock share it.

As they do parking, which is also just four bucks.

And it's all paperless. Except for the very back of the pavilion. I mean why go halfway?

And there are a thousand platinum seats, not because Rock needs the money, but because he wants to combat scalpers. And season seats come out of that thousand, everything's on the manifest. And the first two rows go unsold, they're for upgrades for those in the back.

Sound like a good time?

You betcha!

Instead of buying a mortgage, you're taking a flier, you can relax, you can party, you can drink and flirt and...HELL YEAH!

And Rock is probably gonna make more money. Because in 2011, he averaged 11,000, this time around it's gonna be closer to 18,000.

But it's not about the money, it's about the fans. Not only paying back, but converting them, closing them, bonding them to Rock so they come again each and every tour.

Yup, the onus is on Bob Ritchie. He's got all their money, now he's got to deliver a kick-ass show that blows their minds and gets them talking. Because Rock knows you can't rely on radio, you can't rely on press, you can only rely on yourself. There are no middlemen, in today's world it's just the act and the fan. The promoter should not be the enemy, nor should the ticketing company. Everybody should profit, but it should all be in service to the fan.

And it all came about because Kid Rock is smart, he grew up in an upper middle class family, he knows it's about values as well as money. But artists don't seem to share Rock's values today. They might do a benefit concert, but they're unwilling to take any personal risk, they see the plight of their fans, but they're so busy climbing the economic ladder that they shrug their shoulders and pay no attention.

So what happens now?

I'm not sure.

Rock has opened the door. Will anybody else go through?


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