I spent the night in the drunk tank.
Ever been stopped for a DUI?
You don't want to be. And what's worse is they expect you've been stopped before, that you know the routine, what to do, and when you don't...
The LAPD gets pissed.
Well, let's wind the clock back to 9 PM. My best buddy is in from college, we've deposited his wife at my new apartment, where the drains didn't work, I'd just separated from my live-in girlfriend, I was in transition, back before that spoke to your gender, when it meant you were at loose ends, what some call sixes and nines.
And I got behind the wheel of my small automobile, within which I had upgraded the stereo, back when that was a goal, before they had pullout faceplates, before the crooks gave up and started stealing airbags instead. And wanting to demonstrate my sound system I cranked it up and on KMET they were playing a Beatles song.
This was 1980, the band hadn't been gone that long, nostalgia hadn't crept in, I wanted something more forceful, maybe AC/DC, which was shaking us all night long, but when I pushed the button for KLOS I found the same thing, another Beatles track. And then the same deal on KROQ and KNX.
Something was up.
How do you discover the screw has turned? The unexpected has happened? Something you cannot fathom has become real? My dad had cancer, I expected him to go. But John Lennon?
Hits you in the gut.
Still does.
He was never the cute one, and he knew it. If you pull up the "Tomorrow" show you'll hear him say this. Delineate his insecurities and demonstrate his confidence and arrogance all at the same time. Lennon was the template for "rock star." He did it his way, damn the rest of the world.
And we followed him. Because we weren't used to such honesty, we hadn't been exposed to such talent.
And the Beatles were his band before it became Paul's. And then John quit. But when only insiders knew this, he dropped a single so infectious, so different from what the Fab Four were famous for, that it stopped you in your tracks.
It was February 1970, I was driving my mom's VistaCruiser, the radio was cranked, and from the dashboard, where the only speaker was located, came this mellifluous sound.
"Instant karma's gonna get you
Gonna look you right in the face
Better get yourself together darlin'
Join the human race"
Not today, today we believe in separation. The rich fly private, believe their money trumps truth. But karma'll get you in the end. Your only way out is to join the tribe, become a member of the group.
But the group is no longer satisfied where it is. Remember the "Movement"? That's what the anti-war agitators were called back in the sixties, we were all in it together, today it's every man for himself.
"What in the world you thinking of
Laughing in the face of love
What on earth you tryin' to do
It's up to you, yeah you"
Now we're not talking about a safety net, but initiative, owning not only your abilities, but your failures. It's up to you to become all you want to be. Forget the Army, stealing our slogan. But can you self-actualize? The rock stars who had everything realized it was nothing, that's why they kept preaching about love.
"Well we all shine on
Like the moon and the stars and the sun
Well we all shine on
Everyone, come on"
John was imploring us to come along, to join him. He wasn't bitching about being ripped off, wasn't complaining that the system was against him, he was owning his power, and it was infectious.
But we were infected long before "Instant Karma!"
We were hooked when they told us we had that something.
But we were enraptured when we heard John sing that it wouldn't be long, no it wouldn't, before he belonged to us.
And then the deal was sealed with the "come ons" in "Please Please Me." The tonality of the vocal, this guy really meant it!
But my favorite John Lennon song, and my favorite Beatles song, was written by Paul McCartney, it's "Every Little Thing."
"When I'm walking beside her
People tell me I'm lucky"
That's guys. Women may be insecure about their weight, but men are insecure about their identity. They need affirmation that they're o.k., they need an attractive woman for status, often irrelevant of what's inside.
"I remember the first time
I was lonely without her
Can't stop thinking about her now"
Guys are useless without women. They can hang with their buds and talk sports, put each other down, but only women will listen to them, embrace them, make them feel okay.
And never underestimate George Harrison's acoustic guitar, and Ringo holding down the bottom, but it's John on the twelve string and most importantly the vocal. There was a real person inside. He may not have always liked himself, but he had us at hello, when he wanted to hold our hand, when he wanted to please us, when he sang about everything little thing she did.
But then the Beatles were done.
It was bad enough when they all got married, there was no way solo tracks would satisfy.
And then came "Instant Karma!" Wherein Phil Spector employed his wall of sound to make Alan White's seemingly lazy drums become a lead instrument as John insisted we shine on.
And John Lennon's memory has. Paul McCartney's legend has suffered in comparison. But one day they'll both be gone, and we won't believe they were ever here, that they burst on to the international scene fully realized, that they inspired kids around the world to pick up musical instruments and become rock stars.
Come on, you marvel at your iPhone, but do you really want to become an engineer?
But we just needed to get closer to this music, that we could sing along to, that spoke to us, that gave us instruction.
And the instruction was that we were all superstars, monoliths in our own right. John Lennon was just a fool, entertaining the assembled multitude, like Bob Dylan he had no answers, but that did not mean he couldn't weigh in, couldn't parse the truth, sing about what he felt and saw.
Which was injustice.
The Beatles became big and testified to what was wrong in the world.
Bono wants peace, but he evidences no flaws. And makes less memorable music. But after Paul Hewson, who've we got?
Nobody. Just a bunch of marginally talented complainers.
John Lennon needed it. To plug that hole in his heart. The irony is that all the love in the world didn't solve his problems, although Yoko Ono made him happiest, even though we could not stop deriding her for stealing him from us.
Howard Cosell rolled over and gave us the news.
He's been completely forgotten.
But John's still here, gone in body, but surrounding us in spirit.
With enough juice in my tank I was pulled over on Highland and recited my ABC's quite well, walked Johnny Cash's line, but they put on the plastic handcuffs and installed me in the padded cell.
That's what happened to me the night John Lennon died.
What happened to the world was it lost a unique individual who was unafraid of speaking his mind, who was unafraid of getting it wrong, who was unafraid of using his power to do good.
Let that be a beacon to you.
If you think being a rock star is about more than being rich, if you know that fame is just a byproduct of successful art, if you know that if you're not willing to hang it all out there, you're not hanging it out at all.
John Lennon died for our sins. In a place where the mentally ill can get handguns and live out their fantasy.
But before that, John Lennon just wanted to be free. He wanted to stride amongst us, he wanted to feel the air in his hair and smell the great mass of humanity that inhabits this planet, especially in New York City.
John Lennon wasn't selling fear, but enlightenment, and he had everybody on his side.
Oh what a long strange slide it's been.
It's time for us to get back to Johnny's garden.
He'd like that.
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Tuesday 8 December 2015
Monday 7 December 2015
Grammy Noms
It's not your father's Grammys.
Forget all the horseshit about Madonna being snubbed. Prince too. These are not lifetime achievement awards, rather recognition of what is popular and successful.
Yup, that's what we've got. Not only were the alta kachers eliminated, we didn't have any of the cred artists either, except Alabama Shakes and Chris Stapleton, who is coasting on his CMA coattails. What we have here is pure pop for now people.
And everybody over the age of thirty hates it.
But that's the music business we're living in now. Rock is dead. Americana may have a category, but its penetration is de minimis. All those other categories, jazz, classical, etc., ignore them...the public will. And the Grammy telecast will too, they won't get any airtime.
And we know that an appearance on the show is much more important than winning. But really, we've got to give the Grammys credit, unlike the Oscars, they're living in the twenty first century, they're living in the now.
That's right, Jennifer Lawrence has her knickers in a twist about women in Hollywood but women are dominating in music. Are there enough execs, enough producers? Of course not, but if you look at the nominees... Taylor Swift is up front and center. And three females are in the Best New Artist category. And Liz Rose, Taylor's old compatriot, and Hillary Lindsey and Lori McKenna wrote Little Big Town's "Girl Crush," and if you don't know that's Karen Fairchild's band, you know nothing about Nashville.
And you may not.
You may not know anything about rap. You may be enamored of Adele not knowing that the Weeknd rules Spotify. You may be completely out of the loop on this year's nominees other than the ubiquitous "Uptown Funk" and the Alabama Shakes, led by Brittany Howard, a woman.
But I wouldn't expect the Shakes to win. But you never know, Kendrick and Taylor and the Weeknd could cancel each other out, but the truth is most all of the players are so YOUNG!
The classic rock era is over. The baby boomer music is toast. It's a whole new world and either you've got a hit pop track or it's like you don't exist.
Forget the rest of the 79 categories. The circle jerk wherein everybody who makes music gets to be nominated and put it on their bio so they can tour when they're aged. Those categories don't count. I'd say it's like the Little League World Series, although the Little League World Series is more important and more people watch it. There's this fiction that people care about the nominated stuff, I can't say songs, because there's comedy and even spoken word, but the truth is only those listed and their parents and spouses care. Just being brutally honest, can you take it?
Lana Del Rey, the critical darling... Her new LP stiffs, and it's like she doesn't exist.
As for the exclusion of the Foo Fighters from the big four categories... "Sonic Highways" was a brilliant TV show and a sub-mediocre record. But the Grammys don't nominate the sub-mediocre anymore!
Let's start with Record of the Year. All five tracks were hits! "Uptown Funk" was ubiquitous like in the days of old, everybody heard it and knows it. Of course it's unoriginal, but if you think we're in a heyday of music exploration you think vinyl still counts and sales eclipse listens.
"Can't Feel My Face" couldn't have been bigger in the demo...the kids who've inherited the earth, boomers and Gen X are in the rearview mirror.
As for Taylor Swift... She could run for President and win, she's more popular than Donald Trump. I wish she'd take a political stand, she's the only one who can get out the youth vote. Hell, she took Ed Sheeran on tour and gave a boost to his career.
And sure "Really Love" didn't have much chart success, but it had cultural impact, and that's more important today, especially when the charts can't figure it all out, mixing streaming and sales and radio and coming up with something incomprehensible.
And sure, Fetty Wap deserves a nom, but there are only five slots, a plethora of riches I say.
As for Album of the Year... All the kids talk about Kendrick Lamar. Sure, you don't know him if you're addicted to HBO and expensive dinners, but if you're actually listening to music, following it, he's part of the discussion, always.
Personally, I think Alabama Shakes lack good material. But if that's as left field as the Grammys want to go, I'm down with it. Better than nominating the unheard Beck album.
And "1989" and "Beauty Behind The Madness" were two of the most played albums of the year. Taylor Swift may not be on Spotify, but she's on YouTube, which eclipses everything, most certainly sales, never mind Apple Music. And the Weeknd just blew away everything else upon release.
As for Chris Stapleton... He won't win, you'll forget he was nominated, we'll see if he can follow up this publicity bump with a hit album, unlike Kacey Musgraves...
Yup, it's all about what you've done for us lately, music is a cruel world, have a couple of hits and you can tour forever, but Kacey hasn't done that!
As for Song of the Year... Most interesting is the number of writers on each. Kendrick's "Alright" has three, including the omnipresent Pharrell, as do "Blank Space," "Girl Crush," "Thinking Out Loud" and "See You Again," which is an incredible cut most adults haven't heard, but should, it's really a Charlie Puth record as opposed to a Wiz Khalifa track, kinda like Shaggy had his name on his hit but it was more about Rikrok. And Ed Sheeran, the great white hope, the one who plays the guitar...even his song has two writers. We're not into personal statements as much as success. We bring out the heavy artillery, we buy insurance. Could this be why the music slides off of us? Even the Weeknd uses Max Martin, the true star of Music's Biggest Night. We used to believe the songs emanated from the writers' souls, now we're skeptical. Used to be music was the most personal of media, now it's all done by committee.
And there you have it.
Oh, we could talk about the Best New Artist category but that's one you don't want to win, it taints your career, even though the nominees are all good. But Meghan Trainor's work was nominated LAST YEAR!
And Adele didn't make the cut-off this year.
And Cash Money forgot to nominate Drake's "Hotline Bling."
But does any of this matter? Will the winners get a Grammy bounce? Probably not, everybody who cares already knows, they're in the loop.
So what we've got here is a snapshot of the music industry in 2015. One wherein the rules confound us, make it hard to understand who is winning and who is not, but one in which we only care about what's popular and everything else is irrelevant, where pop rules and meaning takes a back seat, where the youth own music despite the aged selling out arenas.
U2 may be telecasting from Paris, but to the people who listened to the nominees, who care about the nominees, they're a bunch of old fart has-beens sans memorable material.
As it should be, the young should eat the old, music's famous for that.
And the old should realize they cannot win. It's too late, baby. You can get a Kennedy Center Honor, but in the cutthroat world of the chart, of popularity, of what's driving the culture, you're a sideshow. Count your money and be done with it.
Madonna, stay off the road for a few years. Bon Jovi did, good for him.
And know that your kids run the world.
Music was at the epicenter of the youthquake back in the sixties, it led and then rode shotgun. And music has incredible impact amongst the young today, even if the oldsters don't feel it. Music dominates social media, from Twitter to Instagram, and music dominates YouTube... We're just one step away from an anthem that blows a hole in the culture and gets us all moving in the right direction.
But that would require the winners to stop playing it safe, to stop kissing ass, to stop chasing the bucks of the sponsors, to start believing in themselves and using their power for good.
They've got the power baby, don't try to fight it.
The men don't know...
But the little girls understand.
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Forget all the horseshit about Madonna being snubbed. Prince too. These are not lifetime achievement awards, rather recognition of what is popular and successful.
Yup, that's what we've got. Not only were the alta kachers eliminated, we didn't have any of the cred artists either, except Alabama Shakes and Chris Stapleton, who is coasting on his CMA coattails. What we have here is pure pop for now people.
And everybody over the age of thirty hates it.
But that's the music business we're living in now. Rock is dead. Americana may have a category, but its penetration is de minimis. All those other categories, jazz, classical, etc., ignore them...the public will. And the Grammy telecast will too, they won't get any airtime.
And we know that an appearance on the show is much more important than winning. But really, we've got to give the Grammys credit, unlike the Oscars, they're living in the twenty first century, they're living in the now.
That's right, Jennifer Lawrence has her knickers in a twist about women in Hollywood but women are dominating in music. Are there enough execs, enough producers? Of course not, but if you look at the nominees... Taylor Swift is up front and center. And three females are in the Best New Artist category. And Liz Rose, Taylor's old compatriot, and Hillary Lindsey and Lori McKenna wrote Little Big Town's "Girl Crush," and if you don't know that's Karen Fairchild's band, you know nothing about Nashville.
And you may not.
You may not know anything about rap. You may be enamored of Adele not knowing that the Weeknd rules Spotify. You may be completely out of the loop on this year's nominees other than the ubiquitous "Uptown Funk" and the Alabama Shakes, led by Brittany Howard, a woman.
But I wouldn't expect the Shakes to win. But you never know, Kendrick and Taylor and the Weeknd could cancel each other out, but the truth is most all of the players are so YOUNG!
The classic rock era is over. The baby boomer music is toast. It's a whole new world and either you've got a hit pop track or it's like you don't exist.
Forget the rest of the 79 categories. The circle jerk wherein everybody who makes music gets to be nominated and put it on their bio so they can tour when they're aged. Those categories don't count. I'd say it's like the Little League World Series, although the Little League World Series is more important and more people watch it. There's this fiction that people care about the nominated stuff, I can't say songs, because there's comedy and even spoken word, but the truth is only those listed and their parents and spouses care. Just being brutally honest, can you take it?
Lana Del Rey, the critical darling... Her new LP stiffs, and it's like she doesn't exist.
As for the exclusion of the Foo Fighters from the big four categories... "Sonic Highways" was a brilliant TV show and a sub-mediocre record. But the Grammys don't nominate the sub-mediocre anymore!
Let's start with Record of the Year. All five tracks were hits! "Uptown Funk" was ubiquitous like in the days of old, everybody heard it and knows it. Of course it's unoriginal, but if you think we're in a heyday of music exploration you think vinyl still counts and sales eclipse listens.
"Can't Feel My Face" couldn't have been bigger in the demo...the kids who've inherited the earth, boomers and Gen X are in the rearview mirror.
As for Taylor Swift... She could run for President and win, she's more popular than Donald Trump. I wish she'd take a political stand, she's the only one who can get out the youth vote. Hell, she took Ed Sheeran on tour and gave a boost to his career.
And sure "Really Love" didn't have much chart success, but it had cultural impact, and that's more important today, especially when the charts can't figure it all out, mixing streaming and sales and radio and coming up with something incomprehensible.
And sure, Fetty Wap deserves a nom, but there are only five slots, a plethora of riches I say.
As for Album of the Year... All the kids talk about Kendrick Lamar. Sure, you don't know him if you're addicted to HBO and expensive dinners, but if you're actually listening to music, following it, he's part of the discussion, always.
Personally, I think Alabama Shakes lack good material. But if that's as left field as the Grammys want to go, I'm down with it. Better than nominating the unheard Beck album.
And "1989" and "Beauty Behind The Madness" were two of the most played albums of the year. Taylor Swift may not be on Spotify, but she's on YouTube, which eclipses everything, most certainly sales, never mind Apple Music. And the Weeknd just blew away everything else upon release.
As for Chris Stapleton... He won't win, you'll forget he was nominated, we'll see if he can follow up this publicity bump with a hit album, unlike Kacey Musgraves...
Yup, it's all about what you've done for us lately, music is a cruel world, have a couple of hits and you can tour forever, but Kacey hasn't done that!
As for Song of the Year... Most interesting is the number of writers on each. Kendrick's "Alright" has three, including the omnipresent Pharrell, as do "Blank Space," "Girl Crush," "Thinking Out Loud" and "See You Again," which is an incredible cut most adults haven't heard, but should, it's really a Charlie Puth record as opposed to a Wiz Khalifa track, kinda like Shaggy had his name on his hit but it was more about Rikrok. And Ed Sheeran, the great white hope, the one who plays the guitar...even his song has two writers. We're not into personal statements as much as success. We bring out the heavy artillery, we buy insurance. Could this be why the music slides off of us? Even the Weeknd uses Max Martin, the true star of Music's Biggest Night. We used to believe the songs emanated from the writers' souls, now we're skeptical. Used to be music was the most personal of media, now it's all done by committee.
And there you have it.
Oh, we could talk about the Best New Artist category but that's one you don't want to win, it taints your career, even though the nominees are all good. But Meghan Trainor's work was nominated LAST YEAR!
And Adele didn't make the cut-off this year.
And Cash Money forgot to nominate Drake's "Hotline Bling."
But does any of this matter? Will the winners get a Grammy bounce? Probably not, everybody who cares already knows, they're in the loop.
So what we've got here is a snapshot of the music industry in 2015. One wherein the rules confound us, make it hard to understand who is winning and who is not, but one in which we only care about what's popular and everything else is irrelevant, where pop rules and meaning takes a back seat, where the youth own music despite the aged selling out arenas.
U2 may be telecasting from Paris, but to the people who listened to the nominees, who care about the nominees, they're a bunch of old fart has-beens sans memorable material.
As it should be, the young should eat the old, music's famous for that.
And the old should realize they cannot win. It's too late, baby. You can get a Kennedy Center Honor, but in the cutthroat world of the chart, of popularity, of what's driving the culture, you're a sideshow. Count your money and be done with it.
Madonna, stay off the road for a few years. Bon Jovi did, good for him.
And know that your kids run the world.
Music was at the epicenter of the youthquake back in the sixties, it led and then rode shotgun. And music has incredible impact amongst the young today, even if the oldsters don't feel it. Music dominates social media, from Twitter to Instagram, and music dominates YouTube... We're just one step away from an anthem that blows a hole in the culture and gets us all moving in the right direction.
But that would require the winners to stop playing it safe, to stop kissing ass, to stop chasing the bucks of the sponsors, to start believing in themselves and using their power for good.
They've got the power baby, don't try to fight it.
The men don't know...
But the little girls understand.
--
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