Saturday 7 February 2015

MusiCares-Bob Dylan

"And if my thought dreams could be seen
They'd probably put my head in a guillotine"

"It's Alright, Ma, (I'm Only Bleeding)"

What kind of crazy fucked up world do we live in where Bob Dylan comes back from the dead and delivers the paramount rock and roll experience of the twenty first century?

That's right, MusiCares is a clusterfuck nonpareil. The number one networking dinner of the year. Not only is it peopled by wannabes and no-name Recording Academy members, the movers and shakers all show up, the conversation is scintillating and informative, and then you retire to the ballroom where household names go through the motions, singing songs via Teleprompter.

Now the best stuff I saw in the auction room were the photos donated by Richard Lewis. That's right, the comedian. He had one from the A.R.M.S. concert with every legend known to man, from Jeff Beck to Joe Cocker to Jimmy Page to Eric Clapton to Ronnie Lane, the inspiration for the show. Even more fascinating was the picture of Tim Hardin, before he was grizzled by heroin addiction, it was almost a completely different man.

And during the speeches I conversed with my table neighbors, nothing relevant or interesting was being said.

And then came the performances.

Now first I have to mention the crack band. Using all their chops and rehearsal to operate on a level so high, I don't think it can be topped. Don Was the bandmaster. And Kenny Aronoff pounded the skins. Heartbreaker extraordinaire, Benmont Tench, tickled the keys. The legend only insiders know, Buddy Miller, picked the strings. And Greg Leisz was on pedal steel, this guy deserves to be more well-known.

Anyway, all the stars were good, but I can't say there were many memorable performances. The song choices were confounding. A track from "Saved"? Another from "Oh Mercy"? Even the most dedicated Dylanologist would not only be disappointed, but would struggle to know the lyrics of these obscurities.

I figured John Mellencamp was gonna amp it up with a ripping version of "Highway 61," but he turned it into a dirge.

And Tom Jones was fluid, but he never put the pedal to the metal, he usually blows us away, here he just barely brought the kettle to a boil.

Beck was all one note, there were no dynamics.

Jackson Browne was really good on an endless number from the early catalog that evidenced magic, but didn't grab you by the gut and twist you.

Unlike Bonnie Raitt.

Bonnie Raitt, the Grammy darling, came back over the hill to reclaim her title as the sassiest mama with the best interpretive skills, all the while being a soulful slide player who can hold her own with the boys. She took the tertiary track "Standing In The Doorway" and not only made it her own, far eclipsing Dylan's original, but delivered the best musical performance of the night. It was like being jetted back to 1992. Or 1972. As if no time had passed. There were a few lines in her face, but Bonnie was every bit as good. Really, if you're a music lover, you would have smiled and then jumped to your feet, as we all did.

The second best performance, by a hair? Willie Nelson's rendition of "Senor."

Talk about a professional... Willie couldn't read the Teleprompter at the back of the room. And the one on stage wasn't working. So he and the band vamped endlessly until the glitch was rectified. Minutes. Talk about draining energy from the performance... But then Willie sang so beautifully, so soulfully, picked so amazingly, that he converted everyone on the fence into a fan. This guy is a deserved legend. He's heads above everybody else. He wrung meaning out of that song that we didn't know was there.

Jack White earned his place in the movie "It Might Get Loud." He wailed.

And the Boss did a solid rendition of "Knockin' On Heaven's Door," and whipped out some leads to demonstrate that he's not about to hang up his rock and roll shoes.

And then came Mr. Z.

Well, first we had Neil Portnow's monotonic introduction. What a juxtaposition, a legend and an administrator.

But credit Mr. Portnow for knowing it was not his night, that he was not up to the task, for he relinquished the mic to Jimmy Carter.

That's right, our 90 year old ex-President who was put into office by the Allman Brothers. And I didn't believe half of what he said, but then he got truthful, you could feel the connection, and out came Zimmy.

Now this is usually the lamest moment of the show. When the winner holds the trophy, thanks the usual suspects and says nothing meaningful.

But not the poet laureate from Hibbing.

Bob talked in that insane voice he's developed, like his skin is a different color and he was brought up in the holler. And he made some perfunctory remarks. And then he told us he was gonna read.

Oh god, he's afraid of making a mistake, he can't do it off the cuff, get ready to be bored.

And all night we were wondering if Bob would perform. Most people do, but when Neil Young was honored he did not. And really, I don't want to see Bob mangle his old material, but maybe on this occasion he'll hearken back to the originals.

It was better than that. Bob didn't play a note, but he delivered a speech that dropped jaws and had you tingling, not believing you were there in attendance.

You remember that experience, don't you? When the gigs weren't productions matched to clicks and if you didn't go to the show you didn't know, there was no MTV, never mind YouTube? When you went because you never knew what would happen?

Well, something happened last night.

And what happened was that Bob Dylan revealed he's been listening all the while, he knows what we've been saying about him, he's got an opinion about it, and unlike everybody else in this sold-out business he's not afraid to step on toes, he's not afraid to offend.

It had a somewhat historical structure. These were not notes, Bob had written an essay, nearly a book, it took him half an hour to deliver it, turning the printed pages all the while. And he didn't go all the way back to Minnesota, then again, there was a reference to Highway 61, but he did start with John Hammond, giving the man props for signing him, alluding to the luck he was the beneficiary of that no one likes to talk about.

It's more than luck, it's personality and drive and cunning and making opportunities others cannot see, never mind take advantage of. But there's always luck.

And from there to his initial publisher Lou Levy, and Joan Baez, who he praised to high heaven, all the way to Jimi Hendrix on up to today.

Lou said Bob was ahead of the game, and if he was lucky the audience would catch up with him in three to five years.

Bob didn't want to write novelty tracks like Leiber and Stoller, whom he excoriated. Bob was only interested in the truth, which he got from folk songs, which he knew by heart and played incessantly.

Yes, Bob told us where his songs came from. Made the connection from the past to the present. It was positively mind-blowing, the guy who obfuscates for a living is giving us the god's honest truth in a way no one ever does. It's like the fathers of our country telling us what's behind the Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Rights, the only difference being Dylan is still alive.

You see Dylan impacted the culture, we're just pawns in his game. The big story this week was the "Billboard 100," the executives who run this enterprise. That's how far we've come, we lionize the rip-off businessmen who'll soon be forgotten. Even David Geffen's almost been forgotten.

But Bob Dylan won't be. Great artists cobble together something new from the past and inspire those who come after. Bob Dylan is a great artist.

And what a perspective!

He talked about his voice and the criticism of it. Wondered why he was singled out and Leonard Cohen was not. Why everybody else can do a covers album and get away with it but the critics put him through the wringer.

The truth is Bob Dylan is different from the rest. We hold him to a higher standard. Because he's at the pinnacle, and we need to believe in him.

But Dylan's an elusive sort. Bobbing and weaving like a boxer. Confounding expectations.

That was a highlight, when Dylan said this was not a job description, this is not what he does, he's just following his own muse in search of the truth.

And I could recite more verbiage but if you're interested in the details you can read excerpts online.

But ultimately it was more than the content. It was the fact that Bob Dylan trail blazed again. That he did confound our expectations. That he pushed an envelope we could not even see.

And we were there. When he went on not worrying what we thought, not worrying about losing us, because that's what great artists do, follow their own path and not worry about pandering to the masses.

But now pandering rules the business. And those who are unique don't realize that Bob Dylan could get away with his unique voice because he was the best lyricist of all time. Are you? I don't think so.

And Bob Dylan is still demanding our attention. Who else can we say that of?

And I won't say everything he does is good. But you've got to respect the man for trying, for continually being born instead of dying.

So there you have it. This is what got us to go to the shows way back when. Because a friend went and couldn't stop testifying about what he'd experienced.

Last night I experienced the best speech by a rock musician ever.

And the honor is bogus, but all awards are. That was another of Dylan's targets, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. An empty institution where the second-rate are members and the genuine article is excluded. That's right, Billy Lee Riley might have only had one hit, "Red Hot," but that track got inside Dylan in such a way as to not only inspire, but never be forgotten.

You remember inspiration, don't you?

You remember the indelible experience, don't you?

Or are you just about the money, and if someone's got it they're above criticism?

If so, I feel sorry for you. Because you wouldn't have gotten Bob Dylan's speech last night, you wouldn't have understood where he was coming from, and you wouldn't have been made to believe that the future is still in front of us as opposed to being in the rearview mirror, and you wouldn't know that art trumps money every minute of the day, every hour of the week, and that without Bob Dylan our lives would be so much emptier.

So you can pledge fealty to false idols.

But the empty icons won't keep you warm at night.

Grammy weekend is already over. Bob Dylan took home all the trophies, made the entire ceremony look small and he never sang a note.

That's an artist.

Your move.


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Friday 6 February 2015

Rhinofy-Caught in the Act:Live

Once upon a time live albums were de rigueur, part of the cycle, a way to cash in on fans and those who want to hear all the greatest hits in one place at one time.

But then the internet destroyed album sales and you were able to see endless performances on YouTube and live albums disappeared.

But Eric Church did not get the memo. He decided to make one anyway.

And it's astoundingly good.

BEFORE SHE DOES

"And I believe that Jesus is comin' back
Before she does"

I didn't get this the first time through. I heard Eric plow through a lot of right wing stuff that turns northerners off, complaining about gas prices and professing faith in the Bible and then...

This.

And it's HILARIOUS!

They always say it's guys who leave, but that ain't so, and when left behind guys have such a hard time getting over it. They want them to come back, they believe they're gonna come back, but they don't.

So what you've got here is a guy who's pissed who's telling his story and not only is it endearing, it's the anthem for all those sitting on a barstool contemplating their choices and the way the world works.

It rocks hard, you get it immediately.

That's right, Eric Church reaches out and grabs you right from the get-go, and that's what we need in this modern world of endless incoming, delivery and deliverance.

HOW 'BOUT YOU

"I like my country rockin'
How 'bout you"

And there you have it, the essence of this album. It rocks so hard it'll twist your preconceived notion of country music.

This is the best live rock album of this decade (not that there are that many, see above), but if you ever held a beer in your hand as you thrust your other arm in the air in time to the music, if you love Skynyrd, if you think the music should be so loud it crowds out all other noise, THIS IS THE ALBUM FOR YOU!

Really, you'll be stunned, the twinkling leads, the heavy pounding, this is everything you remember and still love, but brand new with truthful, insightful lyrics. Who could ask for more? Which is why you'll get hooked and won't be able to stop playing this LP.

DRINK IN MY HAND

Cliched, obvious, but it swings!

Yes, another drinking anthem in support of the working man, but it's not condescending, it works.

I'M GETTIN' STONED

So heavy, you'd think it was a Metallica track. Really, throw out your preconceived notions of country music. The bass pounds, it excludes all other thoughts from your brain...isn't that what you want from hard rock?

CREEPIN'

I defy anyone ever into southern rock to not become immediately hooked by this track.

COUNTRY MUSIC JESUS

It swings, it's a religious experience, it'll make you a believer.

"We need a second comin' worse than bad
Some long-haired hippie prophet
Preachin' from the book of Johnny Cash
A sheep among the wolves there standin' tall
We need a country music Jesus
To come and save us all"

The guitars stutter, the track locks on, but it's the message that's so clear.

Forget the religious reference, the truth is music used to be made by hippies, who put the tunes and lifestyle before money, and as a result we all clamored 'round.

Could happen again.

But if it does, it'll come out of Nashville, out of country. Because pop is bankrupt.

Eric Church co-wrote these songs, they're from his heart, they resonate, he might not be Jesus, but he's looking, and I know you are too.

HOMEBOY

This track deserves a blog unto itself.

"You were too bad for a little square town
With your hip-hop hat and your pants on the ground"

We all know these people, playacting, trying to be someone they're not, rebelling against nothing so much as themselves, believing if they emulate those on television their lives will work when the truth is they're their own worst enemies, they can't get out of their own way, if only they could own who they are they might have a chance.

Get comfortable in your own skin, it's the only way out.

SMOKE A LITTLE SMOKE

The label said no, Eric said yes.

That's right, country music fans smoke dope and he who speaks truth wins. The single might not have gone number one, but it had an impact. And, once again, by speaking truth, Eric wins.

SPRINGSTEEN

The big hit single wherein Eric breaks down in the middle and not only sings "Born To Run," but tells the story of going to his first concert at the Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre in Charlotte.

And there you have it. We're rooted to the story, it rings true because of this one reference to an actual place. This is post-rock, when all the buildings have sponsors and everybody's sold out and we've got no one to believe in anymore.

And you wonder why people believe in Eric Church...

Because he's doing it his way and he's speaking truth.

But the revelation here is how hard this album rocks, how you get it the very first time through, how it's totally in the pocket.

PLAY IT!!

P.S. Some might think the audience is mixed up too high, but when they sing along it adds energy, makes you feel like you're there, and that's a good thing...and it makes you want to go see Eric Church live. This album may not be the best financial exercise, but it's marketing genius, it makes fans instantly!

Spotify link: http://spoti.fi/1BTBY9R


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Thursday 5 February 2015

Update

ONE DIRECTION

Biggest band in the world, even though you might have never heard their music.

Proving that not only does cute which appeals to pre-teens rule, so does social media.

One Direction is the first global social media act. It lives online. They care not a whit if you like them. The music is important, but it's the glue that holds the enterprise together, not the sole thing. Hell, they've barely had any hits!

Sure, they might have gotten a boost from a TV show, but that doesn't explain selling out stadia in far-flung territories.

Welcome to the new world.

SPOTIFY

Kills piracy dead.

That was Daniel Ek's mission.

Turns out he was right.

Piracy sank from 20% by under 30's to 4%.

"Music Piracy Has Been 'Virtually Eliminated' In Norway": http://bit.ly/15ABtYU

Turns out people don't want free music as much as convenience!

This is the same mantra Steve Jobs rode to success. Keep it simple stupid, and make it easy to use and people will pay a fortune for well-designed products. Remember the people who said the iPod would fail because it was too expensive? That the iPhone was doomed?

Well, the iPod helped make Apple the world's most valuable company.

nd the iPhone just exceeded Android's market share in America:

"Apple iOS leads US OS share for the first time since Q4 2012": http://bit.ly/16gde2B

Furthermore, Apple reaps almost all the profits in smartphone sales.

Proving, once again, hardware is important but software is king. That's right, Samsung, yesterday's news, sank by not owning its own software. He who writes the songs wins. (Which is why reality TV stars rarely succeed, they don't write their own songs.)

THE WHOLE ENCHILADA

Even Steely Dan goes on the road.

If you can make it just writing, or writing and recording, more power to you. We've just about hit bottom, recording revenues are going up.

But if you want to get excited, watch Daniel Glass in this PBS clip, "Can the music industry survive the streaming revolution?": http://to.pbs.org/1Cwqoqm He starts at 6:41.

Daniel talks about the power of Spotify, getting on their playlist and the jump in listeners.

Isn't this what you want?

And as a result ticket sales went through the roof.

The game remains the same. It's about exposure, and then leveraging that exposure for revenue. If you're good, and you get on a top list...the world's your oyster, you can make more money in music than ever before. There are more revenue streams, you're not just limited to recordings and low-priced tickets.

Ignore what comes before in this clip. Rosanne Cash carping about payments, never mind Aloe Blacc and the guy in Black 47. Do not confuse Pandora with Spotify, a whole different service that pays a different rate.

As far as PBS goes, it's so busy giving both sides it echoes the vaccination debate. There aren't always two sides to every issue, but the press believes it must air both to look fair, muddying the water.

The truth is it doesn't matter what PBS says. It doesn't matter what the "New Yorker" says.

The music business is run by consumers. You amass them and they rain down revenue. Anybody who gets in the way of this gravy train is doing it to their detriment.

Having said all this, the truth is fewer acts are going to make more money.

Sorry if you're in the niche. You have the ability to reach people, but the truth is you don't, they're overwhelmed with incoming and they don't care.

So there you have the modern music business. Burgeoning for the top acts while everybody below keeps bitching and saying it's bad.

You've got to do everything to win today. Just like a household can't survive on a single income.

Why is it everything can change but the music business?

Then again, everybody hates change, including musicians.

RECORD OF THE YEAR

Other than "Shake It Off" and maybe "All About That Bass," most people haven't heard the nominees.

That's right, just because you live for music, that does not mean everybody else does.

Music is so incomprehensible, so many mediocre acts are looking for attention, that most people ignore it.

MTV rescued the music business from the doldrums because it chose very few songs and promoted them heavily, it was action central.

Today there's no MTV.

And never forget, MTV eclipsed radio, which was broken. Top Forty ended up playing the songs that MTV promoted. And as a result Top Forty experienced a renaissance, eclipsing classic rock.

But many acts were excluded.

We need this order from chaos today.


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Wednesday 4 February 2015

Re-Pono

Why does Neil Young get a pass?

I don't care that no one in the mainstream other than David Pogue has criticized Pono, I'm more worried about the rest of the stories. As Tony Wilson once told me, after screwing up the football scores for a news broadcast, the boss said no one cared about that, but it cast a shadow on the rest of the news, if the broadcast couldn't get it right about something so simple, would people believe they could get it right about the important stuff?

Did you read that article in the "New York Times" wherein Harvey Weinstein bullied the PR person for his Broadway musical, "Finding Neverland," into resigning? At first you wonder why this is news, and then you read it and you're horrified. Weinstein is pissed that his flack can't get guaranteed covers. He himself lined up "Vogue," how about the rest of the magazines?

Make me puke.

But that's the news industry today. Few stand alone. They want to sidle up to the rich and famous who believe they're so much better than us. Kind of like the rich westsiders who refuse to vaccinate their kids. Of course they're right, they went to Ivy League schools, they're rich! And they're perpetuating their breed, if they don't get felled by disease, using their money, power and influence to get ahead while the poor line up for shots and take whatever is given to them.

Kind of like Ken Ehrlich getting a star on the Walk of Fame and an attendant glowing article in today's "Los Angeles Times." I'm cool with Ken, but is this news? What next, a star for the guy who casts the Oscar statuettes? Where's Ken's fame? And where in the article is the blowback about his power, how Neil Portnow kowtows to him and every Grammy-worthy act is afraid of him.

Nowhere to be seen.

So I'm waiting for the big boys to say Pono sucks.

David Pogue just did, and his opinion went viral, if you didn't get it you need new friends, he declared that "The Emperor Has No Clothes."

Not only did Pogue say you couldn't hear the difference, but that hi-def tracks were overpriced, the store was incomprehensible and the hardware was a failure, hell, it doesn't even have a lock button, never mind fit into your pocket.

Isn't that what Steve Jobs promoted back in 2001? A thousand songs in your pocket? And now Neil Young is jetting us back to the past?

But Mr. Young is untouchable. He gets endless press for his new, unlistenable records that don't sell. And he gets a pass for entering a sphere he knows nothing about.

That's right, Neil Young knows something about sound, but he knows nothing about hardware, nothing about tech. Which is why anybody with a brain knew this project was doomed from the start. I said so.

But I was inundated by e-mail from his fans calling me a hater.

That's how far we've come, you can't say a negative thing about anybody with a profile because you're gonna offend their tribe. Which is how Chris Christie comes out against mandatory vaccinations. Pander much Chris?

Why does everybody believe they can do everything?

You might as well put your teenage science project on Kickstarter saying you're gonna deliver the new smartphone, as if Apple and Android don't exist and everybody working there is an uneducated, inexperienced idiot. That's right, Jony Ive knows nothing about design.

And the Center For Disease Control knows nothing about vaccinations. It's all just a plot to pull the wool over your eyes.

If only the government could do this, if only it could truly prevent leaks. But you'd rather subscribe to the rantings of an inexperienced Luddite than believe the truth. What did Jack Nicholson say in that movie, YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH?

No one can handle the truth anymore.

No one wants to hear that the internet has created a two class system in music, winners and losers. That the middle class has been eviscerated. It's got nothing to do with Spotify and everything to do with access to the best instantly.

No one even wants to say a negative thing about Taylor Swift, for fear she'll write a song about them, even more that she won't invite them to her house and cook them dinner and make small talk, as if Taylor Swift is their friend. Hell, she doesn't care about them, she just wants to sell.

We used to have a critical society. The only people poking holes in theories were not nobodies online. And the funny thing about the haters is they focus more on the nobodies, the stars are untouchable, because if the stars have feet of clay they've got nothing to believe in.

So football is safe, global warming doesn't exist and Neil Young can't be wrong.

But he is.

Even a four year old knows twenty plus bucks for an album is too much. Hell, you can buy a Ferrari FXX for two million dollars, it's great, but do you want to lay down for it?

I don't think so.

So in one fell swoop, David Pogue killed Pono. It doesn't even matter whether he's right, his story dominated the news cycle.

Proving once again that the viral story trumps the media message every day. That's the power of the people, rarely used, except for inanities, cat videos and specious scientific theories.

Mr. Pogue made a mistake leaving the "New York Times." Yahoo is so disorganized it's a hoot that it started out with the mission to make the web comprehensible.

And conventional wisdom is reviewing is dead, no one has any power.

But every other mainstream outlet could have bought a Pono and done an A/B test. But they didn't because they were too busy sucking up to movie stars and non-celebrities like Ken Ehrlich, desiring to be a member of the club.

Meanwhile, I'm stuck here in the middle with you. Looking for truth in a world that doesn't want any.

But it does...

Read Pogue's review from start to finish, it's devastating: http://yhoo.it/1ETTnCu

"'Finding Neverland' Publicist Resigns After Dispute": http://nyti.ms/1xlceAy


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Tuesday 3 February 2015

AXS TV Grammy Prediction Special

I had a car accident.

An unlicensed driver in an unregistered truck took a wide turn and slammed into me.

Oh, I'm okay, just in shock.

Well, maybe there's some soft tissue damage. I can feel it a bit in my neck and shoulder, but nothing life-threatening. And you get as old as I am and you gain perspective. I mean it could be much worse.

But it was illegal to have a car accident in my family. Have a fender-bender and my dad would remind you every time you got behind the wheel. As for the one time he rear-ended someone, it was undiscussable.

And I'm thinking how I'm not in the greatest mood to begin with, and I've got to go downtown to do this TV show. How L.A. is that?

The perp wanted to make some phone calls. And then I asked myself how long I had to stay here before I could move on. Is having an accident something de rigueur? Normally I'd let it ruin my whole day. Go home and sulk. Feel inadequate. Worry about all the effort yet to come, getting an estimate, a rental car, a repair... But in this case I had an obligation.

And accidents today are so much different from before, at least when it comes to the exchange of information. Today you don't write it down, you shoot a picture. It's so much easier. But the hassle still remains.

But, as Elvis Costello so famously sang, accidents will happen. It's the nature of life.

And the show must go on.

I've never been in this situation before.

That's right, I hold myself to an impossible standard. I should never have a car wreck. And haven't for nearly twenty five years. I see it as some kind of moral failing. I think there's going to be some price to pay down the line. And although I'm very good at running the repair gauntlet, the truth is I'm too good, my OCD kicks into gear, I have anxiety about getting it exactly right.

But all of a sudden that was irrelevant. I couldn't go home and call my insurance company. I'd made a commitment, AXS was depending on me.

And my car is fully drivable. It's got a hole in the bumper, but I could still hit the freeway. And traffic was not bad until just shy of downtown. And all things considered, I was barely late.

So I flopped down into the makeup chair and was confronted by Mark McGrath.

What do I know about Mr. McGrath? That he's the front man of Sugar Ray which got a little bit more than fifteen minutes? That he graduated from SC? That he's got a side career hosting television shows? That he's a "Jeopardy" rock trivia champion?

And stunningly, Mark in real life looks just like his photos. His teeth are perfect, his hair is coiffed, and he's talking like he knows me.

I love when people know me.

That's what drives me wild, when people don't, even though they've met me.

Turns out Mark watched last year's tape. And when I interrupted his spiel to tell him I'd just had an accident he was so concerned, giving insight and support, that I felt like he was on my team. And I feel this so rarely in life.

And the set-up is Mark's gonna host, DJ Skee and me are gonna predict, and John Dick, a pollster with Civic Science, is gonna tell us what the people said.

And normally I'm champing at the bit. This is my opportunity to demonstrate my brilliance and my ability to wing it. I don't need no stinking cue cards, I can make it up on the fly, I can make you laugh, I can entertain you.

But I'm wondering if that neck pain is significant. I'm thinking about calling my insurance company. And the truth is, I'm still in shock.

But I'm fascinated by Mark McGrath.

You see not only is he attractive and famous, he's charismatic and quick and so much fun to be around.

That's what they don't tell you, A&R guys want to sign stars. Anybody can sing. Some can write. But can you dazzle the press, can you make people fall in love with you? Then Jason Flom is interested.

And after discussing my accident, I start asking Mark questions. I'm fascinated by people, who they are, what makes them tick, are they warm, are they engaging, are they open?

And the truth is we live in such a narcissistic society that if you express any interest in an individual, they usually open up, they're thrilled someone cares.

So Mark lives in Studio City with his twins.

I can talk twins, I'm in love with one.

But his are fraternal, a boy and a girl, they arrived via IVF.

Wow! If Mark's gonna tell me this...

Turns out he woke up in the Hollywood Hills at forty, looked at the empty pillow beside him, and realized he didn't want to do this anymore. That's right, you think a life of screwing and excess is fulfilling. But then you wake up and it's not.

And the truth is he had a sixteen year relationship, with a girl he met on the Sunset Strip at the advent of his career. He asked her...do you want to do this for real?

He'd sowed his wild oats.

But so had she, she was a model.

And she said yes.

And then the show began.

I like John Dick. But the truth is data won't tell you everything. Even if you're relying on your best predictors. Because if you're predicting Gammy winners you've got to take into account the makeup of the Academy, who votes.

Who does vote?

I certainly don't, even though Mark thought I did.

And he doesn't either, even though he's had hit records.

Skee said it was people in the industry. I said if you can't get nominated for a Grammy, you didn't make a record, that's how many categories there are. Mark said he didn't even know anybody who was an Academy member.

And I say all this to indicate that it's very hard to predict who's gonna win, unless its obvious.

Everyone agreed that Sam Smith would win Best New Artist.

After that?

Do you pick the one you like, the one with the most traction/visibility/airplay, or the one you think the Grammy voters will like?

I don't really care. Doesn't really make a difference. Unless Sam Smith sweeps, and he just might do it, everything will be forgotten nearly immediately.

And I'd love to tell you I was killing it, but I was off-kilter. And still fascinated by Mark.

He does 100 gigs a year.

How many are privates?

About half. After all, Sugar Ray is a good time party band.

And Mark's telling me about his summer shed tour, with acts from his era, and I'm thinking how he's working for a living, but it's all based on those hits, all that MTV exposure, it pays dividends, forever!

And its so much different today. No one has that kind of ubiquity. Taylor Swift may be a star, but Mark McGrath was in our face for years.

Not that he has a record deal, that was gone in 2006. But he doesn't care. There's no money in records and no action either. He's going into the studio tomorrow to cut an EP. He figures he'll sell 10,000. If a label was involved, he joked he might sell 12,000.

That's right, Mark's irreverent and fast on his feet and the banter is both thrilling and fun and you realize this is what made him successful. He may not have been the most talented, but he was sharp and engaging and had a megawatt personality.

You remember personality, don't you? When it was subservient to the music, before stars could be famous for nothing?

As a matter of fact, Kim Kardashian doesn't have much of a personality. It's all skin deep.

And I'm not saying if I hung with Mark McGrath for a week, never mind a night, it might not be overbearing. But I got it, I realized why he was a star. I wanted to hang more.

Except I had to go home and call my insurance company.

"Mark McGrath Hosts AXS TV's 2nd Annual 'GRAMMY PREDICTION SPECIAL'": http://prn.to/1Cu4aFu


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Women's Super G

What kind of crazy fucked-up world do we live in where Lindsey Vonn breaks the all time World Cup victory record and her boyfriend Tiger Woods not only fails to eclipse Jack Nicklaus's record of 18 majors, he fails to make the cut in a routine tournament?

These women are in AMAZING shape.

I know no one cares about ski racing, certainly not in America. The grandstand at Beaver Creek was full but there was no throng alongside the fence, it's almost like the race was hermetically sealed.

Except in Europe. 10 AM in Colorado is prime time in Europe.

And in Europe they care.

And where there's care, there's money.

You do it for the love of the sport, you keep doing it for the money.

Which is why Lindsey Vonn wears a Red Bull helmet. They provide a training facility, personnel. But whereas most musical stars are constructs, pretty faces behind a wealth of old men, in skiing you've got to do it all yourself.

Lindsey lost.

She was a bit of a poor sport. She blamed the wind. And I was cutting her a break until silver medalist Tina Maze said the wind was part of doing business, you don't want it, but those are the breaks.

And in her home country of Slovenia, Tina Maze and her movie star good looks make her even more famous than Lindsey is here.

But you should have seen Lindsey race. Got my heart beating and made me a fan in thirty seconds.

That's right, the course was shortened. Because of the wind.

That's one thing different in skiing from so many other sports. The weather conditions. Where everybody experiences a different pattern. Where there's no level playing field. Actually, it's quite steep.

And in America women's athletics have come a long way, especially since Title IX. But team sports get all the press, all the accolades, that's what America has turned into, a nation of how to get along in order to get ahead. Used to be we focused on individual personalities. Now, if you don't conform, you're a loser.

And even though there are ski teams, the truth is at the elite level these women are loners, with their own support network and coaches. And when you see them execute you have the utmost respect, because in their finely-toned bodies and skill level you can see all the hard work that preceded this moment.

These women did not have an ounce of body fat. They were nearly as skinny as the TV stars. But the TV stars don't eat.

These women do.

They're finely-tuned machines.

But still women. It was interesting to see winner Anna Fenninger discuss a facial blemish with a competitor who came up to congratulate her.

And the truth is I've got no interest in being inside professional sports. Because the truth is everyone's a jock. And no one goes to college. You have to dedicate your body and your mind to victory, or else you can't win. It's sports talk all year long, and that's boring to me.

But unlike most sports, I can still play, I can still participate, I can still ski.

I've been on those runs in Beaver Creek. They're sheer ice. Even in March.

That's right. They make snow which is like cement and then they inject it with water so it freezes solid. Felice had the most frightening run of her life on the Birds Of Prey.

So when I see these women hurtling themselves down the mountain at high speed on a slope that they fight to get an edge in I have respect, because they're at the edge of control, fighting for the only thing that means something to them, victory. Which means money.

Amateurism, shamateurism. Not only do you have sponsors, they pay bonuses when you succeed. Like Budweiser giving you a 100k bump when you sell out a stadium. Each and every time.

But back to the race.

Lindsey started off slowly. You can see the split times. She's way behind, by ski racing standards, multiple tenths of a second.

But then when the hard part is behind her, when the slope flattens out, she begins to gain speed. She rides her edge so quietly. She keeps her body motionless. She's going faster when everybody else is going slower. It's thrilling, to see a master at work, and to see her chomp on the time difference when you thought she was done.

And Lindsey was ahead for a minute, but ended up third.

Which ain't bad, but no one in America has time for losers.

But the truth is Lindsey Vonn is a winner. Not because she's beautiful, not because she has a famous boyfriend, but because she did all the work.

Some things never change. We live in a country where there's a focus on chance. The lottery, reality TV, as if everybody deserves a turn atop the podium.

But the truth is those who succeed and sustain put in untold hours of hard work when no one is paying attention.

No one knew who Lindsey Kildow was when she was a teenage member of Ski Club Vail.

And she didn't win the first time out on the World Cup.

But now she's racked up 64 wins and owns the all time record, probably for a very long time, if not forever.

It's like Elton or McCartney, people with so many hits that they're superstars.

And I don't want to equate sports with art. They're so different.

But in both spheres, excellence is key.

And you triumph through hard work.

And there's nothing I want to do so much as go skiing right now.

I can't wait to hit the slopes.

Inspired by these women.

But doing it for the fun of it.

P.S. Tomorrow the men hit the slopes. Bode Miller gets back in action. And "back" is the operative word, look at this photo, this is what came out of his back in November: http://www.menshealth.com/fitness/bode-miller-back

P.P.S. Bode may be a pariah in the United States, but he's a god overseas. Because he's the quintessential American, the rogue who speaks his mind who can win on any given Sunday, one of the best of the best. That's right, in the sixties Bode would be lauded for being unique and speaking his mind. But in today's groupthink America, we excoriate anybody who doesn't follow the script and live up to our expectations.

2015 FIS Alpine World Ski Championships: http://vailbeavercreek2015.com


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Sunday 1 February 2015

The Super Bowl

You don't put the ball in the air and you don't do your act on someone else's turf.

Huh?

The mo changed after the Patriots shut down the Seahawks in the fourth quarter. Seattle did not get the benefit of a pass interference call but then they did get that lucky break with the bounce reception.

When things are going your way, you play it safe. It's no time for risk. Not if you want to win. I'm not sure why the offensive coordinator called that play.

And I'm not sure why Katy Perry did the Super Bowl.

What did we learn?

There were some good commercials. If she hadn't inflated her lips, taking away from her natural beauty, Lindsay Lohan would be ready for her comeback. We love those who can poke fun at themselves.

Another winner?

Jeff Bridges. Did you click on that site, dreamingfromjeff.com? From Squarespace? Which I know because they sponsor all the podcasts? You think radio is happening, but the left for dead podcast world is blazing, proving, like in sports, you should never give up.

And not giving up on his lame musical career, Jeff Bridges gets all this free publicity for his album by re-creating his role as the Dude and by leaving money on the table, that's right, he's donating all the revenue from his LP to charity, knowing it's about your image, your career, as opposed to the short term cash. Hell, you can even stream his record on the aforementioned site. What kind of bizarre world do we live in where an actor is hipper than Taylor Swift, the biggest musical performer?

One in which Katy Perry goes for an undeserved victory lap and ends up with egg on her face.

I will say that Missy Elliott was surprisingly good, she fit the mood. The NFL runs on hip-hop and she delivered it.

As for Katy Perry, who was she playing to? Her audience is little girls, the audience for the Super Bowl is oldsters.

Well, maybe everybody. But a great musical act knows that no one appeals to everybody, and that by knowing your audience you maintain your career. Katy Perry up close and personal in HD demonstrated that she coasted to fame on hits written by others and there's nothing there other than someone hungry to make it.

That's what's wrong with America, hunger with no CV. Isn't anybody willing to do the work?

And the NFL players work hard. But their time is coming to an end.

That's right, in my lifetime football will jump the shark. You love it because of the colors, it gives you someone to root for, something to believe in, along with real drama. But the story of this Super Bowl is not Deflategate, but Bryant Gumbel's expose on the '85 Chicago Bears on HBO's "Real Sports." When even Mike Ditka says he wouldn't let his kid play football, you know it's over.

But NBC runs these ridiculous NFL image-burnishing ads as if we all believe. But the truth is one of the highlights of the telecast was the Bud Light commercial with human Pac-Man. That's right, it's video games that have a stranglehold on young men, not football.

But what we had was endless car commercials, when the truth is the younger demo doesn't care about cars.

And a Coke ad when the truth is the younger generation has abandoned soda pop.

And a McDonald's ad wrapping its arms around an America that's rejected it.

Watching the Super Bowl is like viewing a documentary on how it used to be.

And the commercialism is insane. The University of Phoenix Stadium?

The University of Phoenix should be put out of business. It preys on veterans, getting the government to pay for useless educations that don't result in degrees but a ton of debt, is it any wonder it's owned by Wall Street titan Apollo? But can Al Michaels speak to that?

OF COURSE NOT!

Because he's paid.

And there you have it. Players and commentators, beholden to the man.

Whereas musicians became famous and got all their power by speaking the truth.

First of all, you couldn't even hear Katy. You knew she was singing, but the mix was so off her voice was overwhelmed by the crowd noise.

And booking Lenny Kravitz is little better than booking Fabian. A has-been who's never been able to come back, why did he get this chance? Because he wouldn't upstage Katy and/or he would appeal to the dads who remember the nineties? Lenny's being excoriated online, as he should be.

And Katy believes it's all about production.

That's how far we've come. Knowing how to sing, play and write are irrelevant.

And that works when you're playing to your fans. But when you put on your empty calorie show to the world we sit there dumbfounded. This is what music is about? This is the best they can come up with?

No wonder music gets no respect, no wonder why most people don't care. Pop may own the chart, but if you're not twelve or in the business you don't care.

I'd say to bring back classic rock, but you're better off bringing back marching bands, because they embody the mindless rah-rah spirit football is based upon.

Then again, football is a star system. With Bill Belichick the biggest of them all. He's Steve Jobs before the canonization. Someone most hate who delivers. With a little bit of cheating Bill Gates thrown in. You remember Microsoft, which charged manufacturers for Windows even if they didn't install it?

And then we have the game. The game was so good no one is even talking about Katy Perry. She was the girl square dancing at the Bon Jovi concert. She was the woman wearing her pajamas on the red carpet. She was so out of place as to be rendered irrelevant.

They call it SHOW business.

And it's very different from sports.

Show is about performance, about setting the stage and manipulating your audience and taking it for a ride. As for the ride Katy took around the stadium...it was low-rent Disneyland, but at least she didn't get measles.

But the NFL doesn't care about music. They just need something high profile to fill the time. But in today's modern music business no one can say no. Everybody believes all publicity is good. That the road to success is batting everybody on the head to pay attention, even if they don't care.

As opposed to the classic rockers.

Why did everybody pay attention to Pono? Because Neil Young never sold anything before, he's got a history of caring about sound, he's got credibility.

Even better are the Eagles. You may hate them, but they own the biggest selling album of all time, they sell out arenas but they don't sell out themselves. They've never done endorsements, they've never played the Super Bowl and they've never gotten a Kennedy Center Honor.

Because great musicians play by their own rules.

I saw a lot of great football players on the field.

I didn't see a single great musician.

And just like Leonard Cohen said, everybody knows.

And that's why he can sell out arenas at eighty and Vanilla Ice does reality TV. People believe Leonard Cohen has something to say. What does Katy Perry have to say?

Nothing.

But she makes bank and if that's true in America, no one can criticize her.

Hell, I can.

Everybody knows the Super Bowl is not about music.

Everybody knows Lenny Kravitz is a joke.

And everybody who cares knows that Missy Elliott is toast.

But no one speaks the truth anymore. Otherwise, there'd be no football.

But the networks make too much money. Your soulless, financially-challenged life is only filled by rooting for your local team.

I'm not saying it wasn't a good game.

I'm not saying there weren't a few good commercials.

I am saying it's nowhere for music unless you can own the room, and the only one who's been able to do this is Prince. And when a smart person witnesses such a triumph, they don't compete.

We'll forget the names of the players, everybody but Tom Brady.

But we'll never forget that Katy Perry took an opportunity to show the world that music is made up of brain dead mercenaries who can't say no.

Once upon a time, music was the antidote. The response to the status quo.

Now it is the status quo.

How very sad.

"Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel: '85 Bears": http://bit.ly/1CK71Jf


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