Saturday 18 August 2012

Re-In-N-Out

Straight after I read your missive this morning, I fired up Twitter and caught Mashable Tweeting this:
Five Guys Burgers Get Extra Delicious in This Songify Remix
http://mashable.com/2012/08/17/songify-five-guys/

Brian O'Neal

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Worth watching...

Five Guys Auto-Tune - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcJFdCmN98s&sns=em

Toby Blumenthal

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I worked at In-N-Out when I was 18 and at 21 I left because I caught the music bug so I started interning. I had that burger for almost 3 years every fucking day and I still eat there to this day, just last week in fact where the line at the Hollywood location was PACKED at 2pm. Quality was and seems to still be everything to them. I hope they never go public and turn into Groupon/Netflix/Zynga/Facebook etc.. They might have changed a few things, but nothing the normal customer would ever notice, other then the prices. I think a #1 was $4.75 when I was there in the late '90's and now it's $2 more.

If I had stayed there, I might have my own store (#1 manager, they have 4 at each location) making 6 figures. SIX!!! Now after making $30k a year in the music business this past decade, I've been laid off and can't find a job to save my life.

P.S. I've had Shake Shack once when I was in NY, and it was pretty damn amazing. One of the best burgers I've ever had, maybe top 5 next to Kuma's Corner in Chicago and Father's Office here in LA.

P.P.S. Five Guys sucks.

P.P.P.S. In-N-Out fries suck because they're 100% REAL. Open potato sack, peel them in the back, soak in water, cut them, spin to dry, drop in fryer. Yes McDonald's fries are good but I don't even want to know what they do because it can't be good.

Please don't use my name if you happen to use this.

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In and Out lost me.. it has not been great in 10 years. I have down the bottom of my hill near Universal city. It WAS a family biz? I used to love it..

BEST burger on Vent Blvd? Boneyard Bistro. I hit it once a year as it is a vice indeed. haha and I have given up all the bad ones..
Kobe beef and FRESH.
Ever had a chili dog DONUT? Bite size.. it is packed most of the time and the guys will NOT let you substitute BUT the burgers vary and its a nice hang too. Vent blvd bewteen Fulton and Woodman on North side of the street, Sherman Oaks.

We should go when I get back. My treat..

I am in Europe havin fun. A little toasted from the road. I have not stopped since Jan 1st.
4 different tours + recorded a new solo record while I was at home 'off' that I gotta mix before the short USA Toto run mid Sept then back to G3 in Mexico.. next year more of it ALL and happy as hell but miss my kids like crazy..
'Cadillac problems' sir. haha

Keep the faith and the rave on
Yer pal
Luke

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I love In-N-Out's burgers - fresh, juicy, made-to-order. The fries are good, too with one caveat: you have to eat them quickly. They don't last very long, at most ten minutes, and then they become kind of dry and brittle. I would never have them as takeout, because by the time you got home they'd be no good.

Calvin Trillin famously wrote that each person's favorite burger is the one they grew up with. That's certainly true for me. The cheeseburger at Rob Roy's in Snyder, NY was my gold standard. (Alas, it's no longer there). I tried Trillin's favorite burger at Winstead's in Kansas City, and it was very good indeed. It's chief rival, Steak 'n Shake in St. Louis (and elsewhere) is the same type of burger and also very good.

Last year I had to go to Las Vegas for the Latin Grammys, and I was delighted to find that they had a Steak 'n Shake, although it was nestled into one of the sleazier casinos out at the edge of town. I went anyway, and I was rewarded with a great burger. If you get to try it, I recommend the double cheeseburger (the patties are thin) with mustard and pickles. And by the way, the onion rings are superior, although not as good as the fresh-made ones at Ted's Hot Dogs in Buffalo.

Junk food forever!

Best,
John Boylan

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Within a week of moving to LA from NY in 93, a neighbor told me about In-N-Out. One Week! I didn't know about Pinks for nearly a year. The writer of the fabulous book Fast Food Nation, who laments about the terrible state of food at the typical joints, talks about In-N-Out like he's got stock in the place (he doesn't, of course).

I took every visiting friend and family member there for my 16 years in town. Everyone satified. Yes, you wait for your food, yes you might have trouble getting a seat, but you are dead-on about the vibe, the service and the food. Who knew burgers, fries and a shake could be this gratifying (don't laugh, but I'm not a shake guy...never had it at In-N-Out).

When I proposed to my wife in 09, we celebrated by going to In-N-Out. Before you label me as a cheap date, know that it was HER IDEA...and she hates fast food.

When we packed up and trucked out to Florida to open our little music school, we stopped at the eastern-most In-N-Out we could (Arizona or New Mexico somewhere). We've heard rumblings about them opening a new distribution center in Texas. Could it possibly reach South Florida? Fingers are crossed.

Thanks for making me hungry, you bastard!

Christopher Maloney

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I did a semester abroad in Hong Kong, a full 7 months. First place I ate when I returned was at In-N-Out, the one right next to LAX. Did my undergrad at LMU, which is right down the street from that In-N-Out, ate their multiple times a week and going without for 7 months was rough.

I've never even tried Five Guys, there's no reason to.

Adam Romero

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Great column- but you left out a key ingredient. Or two.

They pay their employees better than ANY food joint. Managers make $75-100K. Employees are about 15-25 dollars an hour. That shows in everything they do.

And unlike the Chic-Fil-A "in your face" religion, In-N-Out is run by a family of Christians who hold genuine Christian values of sharing, treating all with respect, and equality. Under their drinks along the ridge of the cups look for the lettering "John 3-16". It's on every palm tree lined cup.

They are the real deal.

Laura Wilkinson Sinton

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Recovering from significant surgery here on a hot night in northridge, and loved reading about what has long been a family fave for us- and when I would come off the road sometimes Abe and I would hit that In n out by lax, we know it well.
Also in my low carb life, protein style is fabulous too.
Hmmm, now I wanna get out of bed and go to in n out.
Btw, surgery a drag, especially reaction to morphine-- that stuff nearly did me in-- hard to believe some folks elect to use it recreationally- but all good news on the health front, and will be back on action soon

Wendy Waldman

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Bob...if you like a little born again christian prostylizing with your mediocre burger, (check out the bottom of their cold drink cups), then In-n-Out is the place for you.

But, if you really want a burger with real beef taste, and well done fries that'll absolutely knock your socks off, then you MUST drive to Westwood on Pico, one block east of Westwood Blvd. and go to THE APPLE PAN. You may have to wait for a seat at the counter, but it's all worth it. THE APPLE PAN, in that same spot since 1947. The best.

Richard Kimball

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I love five guys. I think best burger in the country. So right about employees and also dumpy. Especially in NYC.

Jason Hirschhorn

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Damn. Now I gotta go try to find an In-N-Out that's still open. I can't read about that place without having a huge double-double craving. Thanks a lot,
Bob.

Robert Cairns

p.s. I've never seen an In-N-Out employee in less than a terrific mood. Smiling...happy...friendly. I think it's because they supposedly get really good health insurance.

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You are just calling for a quarrel. Five Guys is King in Vegas. The other day my son said "Dad, I dig a hamburger place that cranks Dio. I don't know if it is better than the spread at In-N-Out but this place is solid."

Kurt C. Lambeth

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Please keep me anonymous if you post...

I work in national media sales in San Francisco. The media buying business is run on the backs of 20 something media planners who work long hours with average pay at best (for college grads that is). However, given the power these buyers have controlling huge spends and deciding which mags, tv shows, stations, sites, networks etc get their clients' ad revenue, they get the big time entertainment perks. Concerts, sporting events, spas, lunches, dinners, trips, gifts etc are all the norm as every rep in town is looking to build relationships with these planners.
About 10 years ago, we mentioned during a meeting with buyers that In-n-Out was building it's first restaurant in SF. A couple of the LA transplants in the room literally hopped out of their chairs to high-five each other upon hearing the news. Light bulb moment for us. We called In-n-Out to see if we could set up an event and found out they offered catering trucks. This was well before the recent food truck craze.

We parked the truck in a central location and blasted out email invites to the media teams in the market offering In-n-out for lunch. We had 300+ show up. Felt like every planner in town came out. This is in a business where planners get offered breakfast, lunch and dinner at the finest, hippest spots in the city...

Very few burger joints illicit this kind of response and for In-n-out, it is well deserved...

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I hit the Burbank In-N-Out today myself! Fucking great as always!

Rob Meurer

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You left out the price difference. The douchebags at Five Guys charge three times what In-N-Out costs.

Wendy Day

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Right on Bob! My former bandmates in Green Jello (yea, Green Jelly after the lawsuit) we're so into In-N-Out that we all went to the ground breaking ceremony when they built the one on Sunset (near LaBrea) years ago. I just made myself hungry typing that. Double double!!

Gary Helsinger

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I frequent 5 Guys in Miami on a regular basis and I've never had that experience. I don't even recall a single time when they even had music playing loudly and I believe me, I LOVE 80's pop so I would have noticed. Wish we had an In-N-Out in the east coast though.

Chris Andrews

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Good...fresh, but really nothing special, just soulless, lacking any real grit or character.

These folks have SOUL

http://www.originaltommys.com/

PO Box

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Our In n Out here in the Mission Viejo/FootHill Ranch in OC, is awesome. I don't have hamburgers very often.. its a special treat reserved for when I feel I need to to a hot fresh meal.

Kori Carothers

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Don't forget about Whataburger

Wade Bowen

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Five Guys is finally moving into the Boston area. No loud music and lines out the door daily.

Must be a franchisee that is stubborn in your area?

Bret Clancy

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Da bomb,indeed!

Don Mizell

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As a New Yorker, I am jealous of your ready access to In-n-Out Burger. They are truly the best. That said, EVERYONE complains on Yelp.com. You would be hard pressed to find anyone who compliments anything there, though it happens.. Perhaps it is just the businesses posting negative things about their competitors? Having worked in the digital marketing space for 16 years now, I am very distrustful of any web outlets that offer up consumer opinions. Sad really. It is what it is. Five Guys is great on the east coast, nothing but raves here. But they lack real competitors, like the infamous In-n-Out.

Fact is, Yelp is powered by the businesses that live or die by the reviews. War is hell! And if I was a restaurateur, first thing I would do is hit the digital boards to dis my competitors and praise my menu.

Enjoy the fries! Would you like a shake with that?

John Staub
Marketing, FARM and Digital
Cornerstone Agency

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Are they the latest Boston Chicken/market which grew too fast? But
instead with music was too loud?

Take that away. You listened to music on the wrong levels as we all
usually do at all restaurants.

Five Guys is competing because it's better. As in burger vs. burger it
won in the past decade as proven by its growth. I saw it happen in DC since day 1 when we used to cut class and drive to northern Virginia for it. Now in CA, I have been listening as people drive to and from lake Tahoe for years saying the same thing about in n out: "is there any meat on this thing?" Where's the beef?

Without the Big Lebowksi you have no in n out. As soon as Five Guys
hit Georgetown in DC, it blew up because it's an international school
and in n out is basically Johnny rockets.

Give me a burger not a salad bar sandwich for posers. Everyone wants to love in n out and that's why it works. Start grow scratch and five guys wins every time.

Alex Maxa

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5 guys is better than in n out. Your just angry and can't get over the fact it tastes better than in n out.

I've gotten food poisoning from in n out. No doubt I could get it from five guys also. But your generalizing on an experience.

I LMFAO with you saying 5 guys is toast. BASED ON WHAT??? Your opinion??? Please.

By the way...music had nothing to do with it. Zero. Nada. Nothing. It's cheeseburgers.

Kyle Novak

Please publish.

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heart stopping now.. Love the french fries but the hamburgers just aren't anything special

Tom in Sac

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This made me shed one or two tears of happiness. Just sayin'.

Michael Gross

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Yum! I haven't been there in too long! Never even tried a shake. But the animal style fries are over the top good. And the burger animal style is great too.

Amy Madnick

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Washington Boulevard In-N-Out, by Costco, a veritable melting pot of color and race.

But no one would pull a gun here. That's just not the vibe."

So a "veritable melting pot of color and race" is a possible prescription for a good "gun pulling" is it ?

Aurora, Colorado is a mighty "mixed" up place I guess ! ... sorry i had to comment on this, you generalize a lot (most of the time in relevant fashion), but geez ... must be nice to live in a whitewashed utopian enclosure and even nicer that a gun wasn't pulled out on you on Washington fucking Boulevard.

KD

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Next time you're in Austin, TX try a joint called Mighty Fine. You'll have to get out of downtown a bit, but it's worth it. Go for the double burger. It may not be In-N-Out, but it ain't bad.

Jasper

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We have a plethora of amazing hamburger joints in SoCal, from The Counter on the west side to 25 Degrees (hollywood Roosevelt) closer to the east. These are great burgers, very few can argue that.

In reality, In-N-Out has become iconic not just because of the tasty food, but because of the customer service. They serve each customer how they want, when they want and with extreme enthusiasm; even when the drive-thru line is close to a mile long. That’s what the best music companies are doing today...they focus on their customer base, and super serve them to complete satisfaction.

If I want a limited edition of the vinyl (that’s not on the standard menu and includes bonus music), I can request it and get what I want, even if it means paying a premium. The world we live in rarely can configure its options to a "one size fits all model", nor should it. Each customer is unique, and its imperative that they all come away feeling "Super Served". In-N-Out does this 100 times a day, and its something that the entire music business can learn from.

Gone are the days of one size fits all, instead we are looking at unique customer experiences that can be individually rewarding for each that are willing to partake.

That’s the business model I am striving for in the future, and I am
confident that most will find this path more rewarding and profitable than the simply saying "New album available now" and hoping that the marketing money spent will yield enough to pay for itself.

Thanks,

Marc Jetton
SARGENT HOUSE / RODRIGUEZ LOPEZ PRODUCTIONS

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Great insight
Music is way too loud

Been to a smashburger ?

Lawrence Clayman

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Those diet drinks are wicked nasty. The only reason that shit exists is Rumsfeld. When he was at Searle, he tried to shove it down our throats but the FDA would not approve it. When Reagan came in with rummy on his team, bingo. Replacing carbon with chlorine (poison) at a molecular level is the key to diet drinks, and slow mass murder on a scale that makes war look nice. Sorry.
Plus, diet drinks cause seizures and weight gain.
But, In-N-Out, that's what i'm talkin' about. Was a Costco visit tradition and always a return-to-LA first stop.

David Reilly

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Sorry Bob, but outside of Hollywierd, burger joints are places you take your kids, and my kids love 5 Guys. There's little romance, like in the stupid McDonalds commercial where the office workers were excited to go there for lunch. That NEVER happened even once in any office across America.

The 5 Guys near here are doing fine, are packed, and play no loud music. That's strictly an L A hipster thing. And every worker in all of these places are disengaged from the customer. Because the job pays nothing and it's boring. Just a place to kill time in between classes. Don't expect much from the staff of fast food joints.

Bob Maggio

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One of the very first stops I'm going to make when I get back to the US and LA in November is In-N-Out, and thanks to you that craving has now been intensified that much more.

I will also be eating some Heids' dogs while I'm in Syracuse!

-Gregg Bell

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Don't shit on Five Guys - maybe they fuck it up on the West Coast, but I've never had anything close to the shitty, loud, annoying experience you describe here on the East Coast. Over here, lines snake around the block for Five Guys.

Russell Joye

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Chick-Fil-A doesn't have a "policy" on gays; its CEO expressed religious beliefs about marriage.

One would expect a lawyer and wordsmith such as yourself to grasp that glaringly obvious difference.

But, as usual, the shrill, hateful so-called liberal and tolerant agenda is deaf to nuance.

Jon Shapiro

P.S. And the Tea Party people are RACISTS!! libel:
"Peopled by enough ethnicities to make the Tea Party gag."

Ridiculous.

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Man I miss la.
In n out is almost worth moving to la for alone.

Jamie Danan

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You're just going to the wrong 5 guys location Bob!

I fought rush hour traffic, just last night to bring "5 Guys" home for us!
Manager personally greets every customer as they pick up their to go order. And in between to go pick up's, she checked on every "eat in" customer. DB Levels on the music were so low, I had to really focus to pick up on who was playing....

Must be a Southern Cali thing, that's all I can say..

TicketViper

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I don't eat high cholesterol crap to often anymore, my body the car now eats a little better grade food than I did when I was younger but I've got to say that when I do I go to the In-N-Out down by LAX, really I can't resist the smell of aviation fuel with my burger as I sit outside and watch the planes land on the runway. Where else can you get a Burger with a side of a Boeing 747 with it.

My favorite thing to do while waiting (no shit) for my order is to watch for the counter person to get far enough away from the microphone and grab it and say "The captain would like to remind you to put the tray in front of you in the upright position we will be landing at LAX soon where the temperature is 75 degrees hope you enjoyed the flight and thank you" That usually get everybody laughing and I haven't been tossed out yet.

Their use to be a place in the 70's at the corner of Olympic & La Brea here in LA called "POP's" (now a greasy doughnut shop) hands down the best burger this town will ever see, a couple of cuts above Pinks with the best salami and egg sandwich on the menu to keep your doctor busy, any locals who have lived in this city all their lives knows what I'm talking about. The fat cook at the grill and that mom & pop atmosphere that is now dead and gone from this city.

All in all, if any of these establishments would install a "Lipitor" vending machine by the door I might take a chance and eat these kinds of foods again. :) I mean what the hell you only die once.

RS

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Hi Bob, I have always thought In-n-Out is the model of what American business should have been. You make a good product, and you keep to it, you pay and take care of your workers and they give back. It should never be about how much profit we can squeeze out of every corner or how do we corner the market. Just make a good thing and keep it up and the money will follow. Like you said just be great at a few things instead of ok at all things, quality is key, but keeping quality up is what makes In-n-Out work. It's the same now as it was back when it started. I really don't think there's anything like that now. Even McDonalds fries are crap now from what they were in the 70's. I think too, the owner of In-N-Out didn't get too greedy and kept a pace of very steady growth and kept control of the quality. I think they, but I'm not a 100%, use all California products. This kind of company just makes great economic sense.
Can also compare this to the music industry, when record companies were small and put out great music, everyone won, when they got greedy and too big, and tried to make too much money and put out lots of crap, everyone lost.

Take care,

Paul David Hager
FOH Engineer For Miley Cyrus / Devo
Record Mixing Engineer to the Stars!

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2 quick thoughts:

1) Just yesterday I had a great burger for lunch at a place near where I am visiting my 89 year old dad in hospice in the suburbs north of chicago - & while eating it alone I thought about the burger the way u did, & even thought about how McD's thought it revoultionized the burger but really diluted it - & how all these places are bringing back REAL burgers, etc.

2) Interesting article in last New Yorker about the Cheesecake Factory's QC. & how modern "big" medicine is trying to emulate that QC in its facilities.

Wallace Collins

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In-n-out is great, but I can tell you without a doubt that when talking to many of the thousands of ex-Southern Californians up here in the Seattle area, it is the mention of "Tommy's" that will bring a tear to the eyes.......A double chili burger with cheese., smothered in that amazing chili...a handful of those delicious chili peppers, fresh, and ready to burn a hole in your tongue. So many of us have such fond memories of drunkenly making our way home from concerts or clubs, looking for that orange roof and the wonderful way those burgers, tamales, and fries, just COVERED in that thick, gooey chili would soak up the alcohol and send you home safe and sound. Check out their web site....people order the Chili and have it shipped to them all over the world, but they really have to be experienced on a magical California night.......

David Resch

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We were in San Francisco in June, and were going to the Monterey Bay Aquarium for the day.....we drove ten miles out of our way to hit the In-N-Out in Salinas for lunch. Same thing last year skiing in Utah, for lunch on the way to the airport. Trouble was, my son rode in the back seat down Big Cottonwood from Solitude, and got car sick and couldn't eat! We got him a t-shirt instead. We think the fries are only so-so.

Armand Sadlier

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I totally agree with you, In&Out make the best burgers in the
world...period.
I live in Montreal, where i wish there would be some In&Out restaurants, but every time I go to Los Angeles, i make a point of stopping at my favorite In&Out ( the one on Sunset, a block East of LaBrea.. ) and live the ultimate burger experience !

Best,
Pierre Paradis
Sphere Musique

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Bob, you don't know service until you eat at the McDonald's in Moscow. Seriously. Things may have changed since I was there in 1991, but picture this...

- A line 30 minutes deep, out on the street and around the block. When it first opened, the line was 4 hours long, but that was some years earlier and the novelty had probably worn off.

- About 5 stories tall, with seating for 350 people or so.

- A single, very long counter with cash registers jammed in side-by-side. An employee stood at each register taking orders, and never moving from the register. Two other employees serviced each register, bringing the food items. It was like a beehive of constant activity behind the counter.

- $3.50 USD bought 2 Big Macs, 2 fries, 2 shakes, and 2 sundaes. It all tasted the same as in the USA, except for the consistency of the meat, which was slightly different. In Norway, the same meal was $20 USD.

Chris Rimple

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It must be a SoCal thing. We have a great Five Guys here in Southwest FL and the food/service is great and there's no loud music - ever. And I'm big on music - loud or otherwise - so I'd notice. The place is usually quite busy. I used to live in SoCal and yes In-N-Out is fabulous. If it's a franchise requirement to blast 80's music then I can only hope my local franchise owner/operator continues to ignore the mother ship.

Morten Sissener

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5 guys with music? Must be a left coast thing.

Innis Nelson

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Great article until the TEA party comment. Don't be an ignorant Liberal. I thought you were smarter than this.

Dave May

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OK, Bob. I get it. You are a left coast lib. I respect that and I still can appreciate your music related insight.
But, "Peopled by enough ethnicities to make the Tea Party gag"?
Was that just a cheap shot on an easy target for a quick laugh for the hipsters in your readership?
Or do you really believe that?
This is a lot like CNN reporting the Colorado shooter was a Tea Party member without any real journalism...
except you have a lot more readers than they do viewers....
You don't have to appeal to a lower common denominator to increase your 'fans' by engaging in demagoguery.
Mixing politics and music really only goes so far these days.
Ask the Dixie Chicks about that.

David Pratka

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Tito's (Tacos) on Sepulveda and Washington Pl.

My daughter now lives in Montana, and I live in Maryland.

Our friend Bill freezes and overnights us 13 tacos and 13 burritos every Christmas......each.

An institution! As good as "Zappa And The Mothers Live At The Fillmore East, 1971".

Ever had 'em??

Cheers,

Kathy Freeman

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Re: In-N-Out HERO Burgers in Toronto was deemed better by my LA pal Emond, no hormones antibiotics etc. That is the one thing In N Out doesn't do.

www.heroburgers.com

If you extra-chew a burger, you extract more taste - I kept telling Emond, chew more, taste more - he was inhaling it.

I like the Mc Double $3 for two burgers, including tax. They are big macs without the extra bun and lettuce.

jf1

PS: You could try earplugs/drive through with that loud 80s place, but I suppose you would be rewarding their arrogance.

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My views exactly on Five Guys in NYC. I think they go out of their way to hire excons, which is fine, but train these people that when they're at work it's not a time to hear BS.

When a cashier is delayed in completing my transaction due to coworker chatter I let them know that they can do that on their own time not mine.

Miss Miceli

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1st place I hit when I fly into LAX is In an Out. Good article

Jimmy Risk

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Sorry to write you back, but I gotta tell you, our fave, quality burger
joint in So Calif nowadays is The Habit. If you haven't been...

http://www.habitburger.com/locations/

Yum.

Karen & Rich Votava

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Dead on review of My favorite burger joint. I grab one every time I get out west. Love the place. Wish someone would open one in Nashville. They would make it just off the touring musicians and crew guys who live here. In fact you will probably see more In and Out shirts in Nashville then any other city because we all have one. I love your blog. keep up the good writing.

Tim Bowers
Tour Manager.
Nashville, TN

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I've told you before, and being that I'm a major sucker for a burger, I'll say it again:

Hole-In-The-Wall burger on Santa Monica just West of Westwood, behind Winchell's. Get the pretzel bun. Get the onion mayo. You'll be smiling, guarantee. The fries are standard, but the burger is damn fine.

That said, In-N-Out is happiness for a couple bucks. A few bucks if you spring for the shake. Can't beat it.

Scarlett Rabe

P.S. Thanks for making me ravenous.

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If you like onions ask for both - grilled and raw - it's awesome!

Charles Adams

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In-N-Out is fantastic! Quick, friendly, clean and dependably good burger and great fries.

Peter Koepke

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Amen! If there is one thing I'll truly miss when I die it's an In'n'Out double-double animal style :)

Keith Walker

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Very true - we tried 5 Guys in El Segundo and it's just not the same. If I want a custom burger, I'll go to the Counter and go nuts. Their fries also let me down, and the seasoned fries? Forget it.

In-N-Out is expanding to Dallas, so not east coast yet, but further...

Before iphones, you could call their 800 number while driving and ask where the nearest one was - nice customer service touch.

Also always love in the drive through when they ask "will you be eating this in your car or is it to go?" as there is a difference...

Faves: double double animal style protein with a flying dutchman.

Ned Ward

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there are many things I miss about LA.....In & Out being the primary one...and the Taco Stand on Vine between Santa Monica and Melrose... Cactus .

Pastor Tacos are the best anywhere.

Marty Schwartz

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Classic burgers, classic rock! We are still selling out most our gigs and haven't a hit since 82!

Kenny Lewis
Steve Miller Band

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I have to say Bob, our experience at Five Guys here in the Nashville area is quite different than yours. Be that as it may, I love In-N-Out for the same reasons you state. Unfortunately, there are no In-N-Out's here in Tennessee, so whenever we are in LA we make sure that we get at least one meal at In-N-Out!

There are several burger joints in Nashville that make great burgers though! If you are ever in Nashville I would recommend that you try Burger Up. They use very high quality beef that is locally raised to very specific standards and they have a great menu. Here is a link if you just want to check them out. You never know when you might be in Nashville and need that burger fix!

http://www.burger-up.com/

Cheers

P.S. I love Chick-Fil-A!

Ross Robinson

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I'd seen all the press but never been. Then, three days ago, I was sitting here, hungry, and I saw a FB post by a friend in Baltimore saying she was heading for Five Guys. I announced that I was going to find one and finally give them a try, despite there being a Habit Burger a mile from here. Then my pal Paul, down in Miami (but who spends time in Los Angeles) said I should go to Umami in Studio City. It would make me forget about 5 Guys. I checked the traffic. Smooth sailing to Coldwater. So I went. Ordered a Hatch Chili Burger, fries and a cold Stella. A superior burger and the fries, while too skinny for my taste, were not bad at all. The next day I decided to do a comparison and drove out to the Northridge 5 Guys.
Just as you reported (a) nearly empty (b) Sirius XM classic rock (not 80s) was BLASTING. The burger was meh, but the fries were very good (and there were enough to feed three). Next time I want a burger, I'm going back to The Habit (it's close and both the burger and the fries are superior, though not gourmet). If they're too busy, I'm off to Fat Burger (excellent burger and a choice of skinny or fat fries). After that, I default to Johnny Rockets (vanilla coke, please). It's not quite fair to compare Umami to these fast food burgers; I'd say their burger is superior but for twice the price it better be... I'll go to In n Out when all else fails but the lines usually dissuade met.

Bill Fitzhugh

_____________________________________

Yer killin' me. My wife and I were just talking about how satisfying a great burger is.

As far as loud music in restaurants, you probably saw the article in the NY Times about how loud music speeds customers through their dining experience and sends them on their way. Maybe that's at play with 5 Guys, I dunno.

I love the term below -- the "weaponization" of audio. We all know music has power, but the idea there are consultants who can tell you how many bites I take per minute with volume and beats per minute blows my mind...for a minute or two. Here's an excerpt and below a link to the article...And scary as it sounds, people are much louder here in the NYC area.

"Some research has shown that people drink more when music is loud; one study found that people chewed faster when tempos were sped up. Armed with this knowledge, some bars, retailers and restaurants are finely tuning sound systems, according to audio engineers and restaurant consultants.

"Think about places where they're trying to get you in and out as quickly as possible," said John Mayberry, an acoustical engineer in San Marino, Calif., who has railed against what he terms the "weaponization" of audio. “It’s real obvious what their intentions are."

Some customers like the loudness. Younger people can withstand loud music longer, while older ones may run from it, helping proprietors maintain a youthful clientele and a fresh image."

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/20/nyregion/in-new-york-city-indoor-noise-goes-unabated.html?_r=1&pagewanted=all

Chip Lovitt

_____________________________________

You win the prize for liking In and Out. I've been aware they're LA's fav for many decades, having seen those bumper stickers where they've removed the "b" to create another message ;-) yet I've only eaten In and Out once, last summer.

My girlfriend was visiting from NM and we took her 14 yr. old daughter to Magic Mountain for a long hot day of "fun." Leaving the park that night we were famished, and that was the only place they wanted to eat at.

I was dubious, since I gave up fast food in junior high, but I went along trying to be easy going about it. It tasted so - fake - and the burger was very thin. I've eaten lots of burgers, but in my own kitchen, or in restaurants where they used more quality ingredients.

This burger reminded me of the government surplus food they gave us in the junior high cafeteria! I couldn't stomach trying the animal fries. As the meal moved through my system I didn't feel so good. Not sick, just like my body was temporarily hosting an alien guest. It came out the next day and smelled something terrible. That was my last In and Out and unless there's an emergency of dire proportions and that's the only thing to eat, I won't be stomaching In and Out ever again. Is this what a decades long diet of organic eating has done to me?

Melissa Ward

_____________________________________

The east coast doesn't need In and Out. We have Shake Shack.

Christopher Prince Boucher

_____________________________________

whoa Bob. don't mess with McDonald fries! The best plain-jane tasting fry you will ever eat. No ketchup required.

Tod Devonshire

_____________________________________

Bob- you know we go way back and I so enjoy all of your posts but I couldn't get through this one after reading that Caffeine Free Diet Coke is your favorite drink. Pretty please do the research and put this beverage on the back burner permanently. Want you to stick around with us for a long long time and there could be nothing nastier than CFDC to put in your body. It alters your PH which in turn begins changes in your body that can lead to serious conditions and disease.

Never a diet soda drinker (years ago watched my business partner drop 80 pounds -that's not a typo- when she gave up Diet Mountain Dew), I did like an occasional Coke until the day one tipped over on top of my sink. By the time I noticed it, it had eaten away the grime I had unsuccessfully tried to get off the base of my faucet for the last 6 months using scrubs and bleach. I still use it on tough cleaning jobs.

http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/w/watervscoke.htm

Patsy Sermersheim

_____________________________________

In and out is all that you say it is. Too true.

Everardo Gil

_____________________________________

Sorry to hear your Five Guys out there in L.A. was a bad experience. My daughters and I love the place. If we gotta stop at fast food while on the road, Five Guys is our number one destination. Every one we've gone to so far has been the complete opposite of your experience.

The one in Baltimore Harbour was our first experience, and this last time we were there, the owner was extremely friendly. And both times we've been there they were PACKED. Our visit to the one down near Manchester, NH was the same friendly service. It was late on a Sunday, maybe 8pm, so it wasn't as busy. And the kid on duty there was very engaging, even telling us that a new Five Guys was going to be opening up near us in Lebanon, NH. Wahoo !! And the place near Piscataway, NJ was playing the demo tapes for "Money" by Pink Floyd. I'd never heard it before and thought it was someone ballsy enough to cover the tune. Despite it being a fairly busy late-lunch hit, one of the guys was kind enough to go in the office to tell me who was playing.

Hmm, I'm detecting a trend.....my experiences are all East Coast.....

Disclosure - I have NO vested interest in Five Guys. I just thought you'd like to hear a differing view.

Thom Wolke

_____________________________________

Why did you have to remind of yet one more reason I miss LA (we left in '87)? At any rate you motivated me to write them a letter begging them to open stores in Atlanta (HQ for ChickfilA). Do some folks still modify the bumper stickers?

Gil Few

_____________________________________

Have you been to The Original Tommy's yet?

John Peale

_____________________________________

I think you'd like to know about this burger joint too, called Bareburger, which is making quite a splash in N.Y.C.:

http://www.bareburger.com/

There's one in my neighbourhood and I go there as often as I can. Not only is the quality of their menu outstanding, they also have a great atmosphere & interior design, and their whole concept - from food, to water usage, to building materials, etc. - is based on an ethical and sustainable philosophy. Therefore it appeals to customers on multiple levels - gastronomic, political, ethical, environmental.... Of course, none of that other stuff would matter if the burgers weren't GREAT. And they are.

When you're in N.Y.C. next I hope you can check 'em out.

Arun Luthra

_____________________________________

As usual, right on the money. Have you checked out Elevation Burger?

Geoff

_____________________________________

Next time you visit Nashville, you'll have to have a burger at the in-house Grill at Whole Foods (Green Hills). Grass fed, perfectly grilled to your specs. Herb seasoned, perfect, hand crafted fries.... for about the same price the same combo will cost you at 5 Guys.

Theresa K.

_____________________________________

Mc Donald's makes great Smoothies believe it or not.

Richard Rosenberg

_____________________________________

Putting ketchup on anything at In-N-Out should be a crime!

;-)

Rob Cairns

_____________________________________

In-N-Out is anything but in and out. It takes forever! And the burger is getting thinner and thinner. I'll head over to The Counter or The Habit. Nations is amazing!

Kevnn

_____________________________________

I couldn't agree with you more about In n Out Burger! I lived in LA from '86 til '92 and during those years I fell in love with In n Out Double Doubles. Working in recording studios had me often grabbing a burger on the way home after a long day and like yourself it was my little slice of heaven. I have lived and worked in Nashville since '92 and whenever I travel to anywhere that has an In n Out location it's always the first stop in my rental car from the airport and often my departing meal as well. It floors me how In n Out has always nailed the quality control and given me a top notch product 100% of the time in my experience. I must have had at least a thousand Double Doubles over the years and every single time they were fresh, hot and delicious. Even when you're the only person in line it's going to be 7 minutes until you get your order but I know it's going to be fresh and hot.

Recently In n Out has FINALLY expanded further east and in just the past couple of years has taken Dallas by storm with 15 DFW locations and a Texas distribution center. This bodes well for the surrounding major cities from New Orleans to Nashville, Oklahoma and New Mexico. I've waited for 20 years, I guess I can wait a little longer.

Mark Hagen

_____________________________________

It's what got me back into eating red meat. I could resist Mickey D's when the kids were little but then they got down with INO and I was sold. However, over time, that patty just doesn't do it for me. I think I'm eating healthier because it's small and seemingly not fatty but then the fat is what makes it good. Now I want a damn burger that spits back at me. Something to sink my teeth into.
5Guys is a pit but I don't want to pay $9. Haven't tried the Umami, but liked the the Counter.
We need an official rating system.
I'm going to have a shake today on your sayso. I haven't had one in 20 years, thanks.

John Brodey

_____________________________________

I read your post on In N Out Burger.

I agree with everything you said about Five Guys. I tried in Washington, DC before it was even available here in LA and I thought it was incredibly overrated.

You obviously like In N Out, but you did not even mention Fatburger.

In N Out may be good, but Fatburger is GREAT!

Frank Acardo

_____________________________________

Bob, you may not be one for "secret menus" but just once, ask for your burger (I like the double-double) "Animal Style, toasted." You can thank me later!

-dave lackey

_____________________________________

Nah. 5 guys is way better than any of them. I don't know how they run things on the west side, but out here in NY, it's quality. No gimmicks, no loud music, just courteous employees and good food. In-N-Out burgers are flimsy and their fries are below satisfactory. Stop advertising the wrong stuff.

matdecesare

_____________________________________

Mr. Lefsetz.......Oh Mr. Leftsetz.......please visit "Father's Office", or better yet, since you don't imbibe, "Short Order" in The Grove. You're too old for junk food and a person of your obvious good taste and character deserves a better burger. Oh, and get the ginger ale at Short Order. You'll thank me.

Steve Merola

_____________________________________

I swim 800-1200 meters daily. When I get an in-n-out craving, I sprint 4 extra laps, then get a protein style grilled cheese w extra tomatoes an grilled onions so I have no guilt in getting fries too.

Bob Barnett

_____________________________________

Firstly, you missed out on mentioning the most healthy and nutritional considerations at In-N-Out ! They use only healthy no-cholesterol fats for all their preparations ! In this day and age that is something people are more than wanting but needing.

Secondly, I must tell you that I first learned of this restaurant chain by overhearing some PGA Tour players at a tournament in Las Vegas. These guys are all millionaires and they can eat anywhere but yet they meet up with each other and their families and eat at In-N-Out ! These players also have a respect for their health and they expect quality for food they seek for themselves and their families while on tour.

So, my wife and I went to the restaurant near Flamingo and saw a parade of PGA players eating there. While eating, the manager came by to see how we were enjoying the meal and facilities and we talked to him for a while. Among a many things we talked about I recall a few key thoughts: the PGA players are regular customers, all tables are regularly cleaned (the front door glass doors are wiped clean every 10 minutes, this is so no fingerprints are visible - it is the first impression a customer will get entering the restaurant ), and the owner reserves the right to hire and fire staff as he sees fit. He will not hire staff with any tattoos (visible or obscured by clothing) this his choice; and all the staff can earn funding towards a college education based on their service provided to the restaurant.

The company also has a merchandise shop next door that is booming with sales of good, hip, quality clothing and accessories with the In-N-Out logos all at reasonable prices.

Not only does this restaurant provide great low cost food, it shows it cares about its customers and staff. I wish we had them in Canada where I live.

Dave Thomas

_____________________________________

You will love Smashburger when you get a chance!

Ray Franklin

_____________________________________

I live in Memphis, a great burger city, and the first thing I do when I fly into San Francisco to visit my parents is stop at In N Out. Got to, first stop, before I see my family even.

NO ONE does it like them. NO ONE!!! All of it, the burgers, the fries, the shakes. They all stand on their own. Memphis has a Five Guys and its packed. I went there last week. The burgers are behemoths but they just can't get the taste right. There is no char to them at all and to me that makes a great burg. Five Guys is the Rhapsody of the burger biz, just a flash in the pan until something better comes along.

And that's what makes In N Out so great. They don't whore themselves out to put a store in every major market across America. They have grown slowly, by reputation. Its a privilege to get one of their burgers if you don't live in sunny CA, or Phoenix for that matter.

Thanks for shouting about one of my favorite foodie joints!

Sam Farries

_____________________________________

AMEN.

I'm eating clean nowâ€"or trying toâ€"and my go-to is In-N-Out, protein-style (with onions!) and an iced tea. I have them all memorized, so, like yesterday, when I'm having a hunger freakout, I don't end up somewhere that's gonna make me ill. Plus feel like I'm participating in a longstanding secret society of people who know what's actually good.

Colleen Wainwright

_____________________________________

I moved out from Fairfield, CT a year ago and now live in Santa Monica...my teen boys love In and Out...however, I remembered Fatburger from mu last stint out here in the 80s and it was the ultimate hamburger experience.

Checked to see if they still existed, found out they did and brought my boys to it. They still like In n Out but they agree nothing beats a Fatburger....not Shake Shack and not In n Out!

Check them out sometime...to me Fatburger is Southern California!

Brian Murphy

_____________________________________

Love In N Out! Graduated college in Vegas, but the Maryland parkway store wasn't there til after graduation. We'd always stop in Barstow for In N Out on San Diego & LA trips. Had plenty of buddies that would make Barstow trips just to grab a burger before they opened in LV. Lived on Hollywood & La Brea for a few years, & I walked to the sunset location plenty of times, since the drive thru and parking lot was always packed. Definitely miss it since I've left LA. I do have to say, I miss Fatburger nearly as much. Love that place too, like that I can get a whole wheat bun, & the fries are tastier, imo. You just made me want to move back to LA even more!

Pete Omlin

_____________________________________

Thanks for the burger piece. It covered all of my 15 year old son's favorite burger joints. I forwarded it to him and we had a lovely conversation about it, a rarity as his teen snarkiness is usually unbearable. He thought you must be "a snobby overly sensitive eared music writing dude" if you think the music is too loud at 5 Guys! Otherwise he said you were spot on with all the food opinions and he thought you should try the secret In-N-Out menu sometime.

Cheers, Jane Piecich

_____________________________________

Here's the URL for the recipe for the In-N-Out Double Doubles. It's for those who love In-N-Out's Double Doubles, but don't have one nearby to patronize:

http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2010/07/in-n-outs-double-double-animal-style-burger-recipe.html

John Arthur Lowe

_____________________________________

while I completely agree with you, why the shilling for ino? Get free brugers?

Lou Judson

_____________________________________

Preach it, Preacher! Amen, and amen . . .

Bart Vogel

_____________________________________

Amen!

Darren Eboli

_____________________________________

Amen

Ian Johnsen

_____________________________________

So you are right, five guys headquarters dictate what music and how loud! However, the food is the shit. Have you had the hot dog? We are doing great with it. I wish we had shakes. I go to in and out but the fries are cardboard and the burgers are just ordinary. I love to go to five guys westwood for a burger and a hot dog no fries (makes me think i'm being healthier) washed down with a diddy riese sandwich. It don’t get no better dude. Except maybe the apple pan or tyler texas bar b q on a good day. love ya swirv



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Friday 17 August 2012

Rhinofy-The Animals

I was working for a crook movie producer and we'd started a record label and through the attorney du jour, they kept on changing, abandoning ship once they realized they were never going to be paid, we got a connection to Eric Burdon, and we sauntered down to the Country Club in Reseda to make a deal.

It was one of the most disheartening nights of my life. You see Eric was burned out and all about the money. It was fifteen years since his last big hit. He was jaded, he'd seen it all. And he wasn't going to get excited about two little pishers come to rescue his career.

We never made that deal.

But I learned a lesson.

It's all about the money. If you're working for free, you're being taken advantage of.

Now this is not a rant against free music. You've got to make it available in today's world. And when you start out, you always have to play for free. But once you get traction, there are tons of scoundrels who'll lavish you with praise, kiss your butt and try to get you to work for nothing or close to it.

Don't.

Then again, if you've ever made it, you know this. There's no one more business-savvy than an old, wizened rock star. He's been ripped off and abused so many times he knows the score, even though you don't. You want him to appear for free at your charity show, it's a good cause, but without him there is no show and it might burn out the market for a future tour. But you can't see this. But an old rock star can.

I haven't seen Eric Burdon in decades. Although I've mellowed as to his response, as evidenced above. I don't know if he was truly burned out or just suspicious, deservedly so.

And I thought about this when I heard "We Gotta Get Out Of This Place" on the satellite last night. You see it sounded so GOOD!

I'm talking the production here, Mickie Most's work. Like it was cut in a cavernous basement where illicit things take place. Somewhere you're dying to go yet afraid to enter. That was the Animals' magic. They were dark. Without resorting to outfits and outrageous statements in the press. It was all embodied in the music.

"The House Of The Rising Sun"

This was the breakthrough. My mother bought the 45 and brought it to summer camp on visiting day. She'd purchased three records, this, the Shirelles' "Foolish Little Girl" and something I can't remember, all on the recommendation of Carl Goldfield, who she had run into at the discount store.

You see Carl was cool. What he said counted. Even though he was only fourteen.

And I was disappointed... The Shirelles? I can now see "Foolish Little Girl"'s value, and I always liked "The House Of The Rising Sun," but I felt my mother should have bought me...something different.

But isn't that how kids are, despite your mom's best effort, you're still a bit disappointed.

The Animals' rendition of this song was not the first, but it became the standard, the classic.


"Don't Bring Me Down"

This is my favorite.

Yes, the organ pumps and the guitar stings, but it's Eric's vocal that puts it over the top, that truly endears, the way he goes from intimate, friendly, to ANGER! He's been giving his best effort and you're gonna bring him down?

Today's hit music is mindless.

This is not.


"We Gotta Get Out Of This Place"

That dirty old part of the city...of Newcastle upon Tyne. An industrial cesspool. That the Animals emanated from. This was not the squeaky-clean Beatles from Liverpool. Eric Burdon had a bad complexion, he looked like he'd fight you in the alley, the band was a bit more dangerous than the rest of the British Invasion, you couldn't bring them home to mother, but you wanted to hang with them.

And the melodic chorus was the singalong anthem of the fall of '65.


"Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood"

How dark can you get?

In the sunny world we live in today, you can't express emotions like this. Everybody shines up their personality to get on the reality show, you've got no problems unless they're warm and fuzzy or telegenic.

But that's not real life. Real life is more complicated. Riddled with angst and disappointment.

This doesn't sound like someone famous complaining about love, just YOU!

(Meanwhile, the original recording was done by Nina Simone, I've included it here.)


"It's My Life"

The concept has been eclipsed in song by Billy Joel's monster hit with a bouncy vibe but almost none of the emotion of this classic.

"It's a hard world to get a break in"

Ain't that the truth!

"Hear what I say
I'm gonna ride the serpent
No more time spent sweatin' rent
Hear my command
I'm breakin' loose
It ain't no use
Holdin' me down
Stick around"

Whew! This is the determination it takes to lift yourself up by the bootstraps and into a better life...do you want to come along? Do you believe in him, that all his frustration and lack of complacency will lead you to a better life?


"Bring It On Home To Me"

You wonder where Robert Plant got it from? Listen to that vocal!

"Yeah! YEAH! Yeah! YEAH! Yeah! YEAH!"

(And, of course, Sam Cooke wrote it and performed it originally.)


"Help Me Girl"

It's got that feel of the basement club in "Quadrophenia."

Technically this is after the band broke up and Eric went solo, but it was still billed as Eric Burdon & the Animals.


"When I Was Young"

It was originally a French hit by Charles Aznavour and Georges Garvarentz...but to say Eric makes it his own is an understatement. He adds an element of frustration...

Listen to the Aznavour original, I've added it to the playlist, it's entitled "Hier Encore"...it's almost a completely different song, you can hear the regret, but Burdon expands it into something unforeseen. That's the mark of a great A&R man, someone who can find a diamond in the rough, someone who can envision what a song can be.


"San Franciscan Nights"

The intro sounded cheesy even back then! Then again, what do Englishmen, never mind from Newcastle upon Tyne, know about California?

Only that they were intrigued and ultimately enraptured.

Listen past the intro...it sounds like flower power, and I mean that in a good way! Scott McKenzie's "San Francisco (Be Sure To Wear Some Flowers In Your Hair)" became the anthem, but "San Franciscan Nights" ran shotgun, it too got airplay, it too made the point.


"Monterey"

This was written by the new band, after it appeared at the festival. And it sounds just like that experience, all about improvisation, with an edge, it radiates possibility, it made you want to go. It's still Eric, but it's a far cry from the original British Invasion hits.


"Sky Pilot"

This was the last hurrah. Although it reached number 14 on the pop chart, it was a staple on the nascent FM band, in its seven and a half minute iteration. The flanging endears itself to you. Back in '68, everything was up for grabs. And this was the music we listened to.


And then Eric Burdon was done. He was suddenly an oldies act. He'd transitioned through so much, different backup musicians, from British Invasion to California consciousness, but even though "Sky Pilot" was perfect FM fodder, Eric was ultimately seen as what came before, in an era where most were only interested in the trendsetting new, like Jimi Hendrix, who was produced and brought to fame by the Animals' old bassist, Chas Chandler.

And on one hand, these Animals tracks are in the rearview mirror, you know 'em if you lived through them, otherwise they've been forgotten, even oldies radio has moved on. But they are not curios, they are not purely moments in time, at their best, they're transcendent concoctions that will last forever. Just like the Brits discovered American blues and were inspired to create these great records, there's an entire generation just waiting to be exposed to the Animals. They could make a comeback. Because of the pure unadulterated sound, it hits you in a physical way. The records are an assault, and at other times they creep up on you, inject you with their venom. They are undeniable. And unlike so much of the music of the sixties, they still sound fresh today.


Spotify link: http://spoti.fi/p6HcZ8

Previous Rhinofy playlists: http://www.rhinofy.com/lefsetz


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Thursday 16 August 2012

In-N-Out

That's what a hamburger's all about.

Five Guys is toast. I love their burgers, but I'm done with the place. It's the over-the-top loud music and the can't-give-a-shit employees. Just try to get them to turn the 80's hits down, it's impossible, someone at headquarters set the dB level, which is enough to get them sued for deafness, the employees' hands are tied, if you can even get them to pay attention, they're so busy b.s.'ing in a backstage party behind the counter. Yes, it's the only burger place with my favorite drink on tap, Caffeine Free Diet Coke, but I'm never setting foot in one again. And neither is just about everyone else, every time I go it's just about empty. Meanwhile, whatever you think of Chick-Fil-A's policy on gays, you can't get near the place. They're on opposite sides of the street in Northridge. One is cascading with patrons, the other is empty.

I've had a rough day. And when the hunger pangs hit my stomach I just couldn't fathom the food in my fridge. I needed something that would satisfy, titillate my taste buds. Yes, that's how far I've come, my excess of choice, my vice, is food. I gave up alcohol decades ago. I was never a smoker, I was never an imbiber of coffee, but give me some good junk food and I'm sold.

Of course, gourmet is better. I'm sick of low quality crap. But junk food can be instant, fast, and sometimes you need to fill the hankering, you've got to get that immediate hit, and my go-to place is In-N-Out.

Now word of the establishment has reached the east coast, even though you can't partake there. Kind of like Coors in the seventies. It was manna in New England. But burgers and fries don't travel well. Then again, if you do travel, there's an In-N-Out right by LAX, go for the experience.

And the main reason In-N-Out doesn't travel is because of fresh. That's how everything's got to be. Quality control is everything.

Then again, QC is everything at McDonald's, but that emporium is shooting too low. With its plastic shakes and bland burgers (we all know the fries are great!) In-N-Out is about perfecting the roadside burger. It's the McDonald's of your dreams. The food may not come with toys, but you've got a smile on your face just the same.

The drive-thru is backed up for blocks.

And it's not easy to get a parking spot.

But as you approach the building, you feel the joy. The patrons sitting at the picnic tables, devouring their goodies.

SoCal may be emblematic of summer, but the dirty little secret is it's not that hot. Oh, it bakes inland, but most nights by the beach you need a jacket. But there are a few weeks a year just warm enough this is unnecessary.

Tonight was one of those nights.

And there was a line to order. Peopled by enough ethnicities to make the Tea Party gag. This was the Washington Boulevard In-N-Out, by Costco, a veritable melting pot of color and race.

But no one would pull a gun here. That's just not the vibe.

The vibe is efficiency.

There are three cashiers. And each and every one of them is focused on a customer. There's no bullshitting between them, no talk of last night's date. You see they're well-trained and they want that upward mobility, In-N-Out promotes from within.

And you can truly have it your way. There's the legendary "secret menu": http://huff.to/Igi9k4

That's too secret for me. But I love when they ask if I want onions on my burger. I LOVE onions.

And I always ask for the fries well-done. Which makes them kind of squeaky and oh-so-tasty. Imagine being able to have McDonald's fries done your way. Wouldn't that be amazing?

And the shakes are thick and real. It's like slurping a fudgesicle. I save it for dessert.

And you've got to wait a few minutes for your food, everything's cooked to order, and when my number was finally called, I went to the ketchup stand and found it empty. I immediately reported this failure to the man behind the counter and his compatriot, a young woman, pulled a move worthy of the NBA, reaching around him and delivering a plethora of squeeze packets to my tray. She didn't want me to wait. Some things are best devoured hot.

And to say the meal was satisfying would be an understatement. All my troubles slipped away. It was a little bit of heaven.

And it wasn't only the food that mattered. I felt like I belonged. I didn't need to check in, I didn't need to cough up my e-mail address, no one badgered me, there was just a feedback loop between worker and customer, that we were enlightened, that we were doing it a better way.

P.S. Meanwhile, having not visited In-N-Out since eating at Danny Meyer's Shake Shack, I must say, Danny makes a better burger. It's the meat. He shoots higher. Pat LaFrieda makes the difference. But Danny's fries are a disappointment. His shakes are stellar, but probably a bit upscale for most people, very thick, very ice creamy, very chocolaty. But you can see why there's always a line around the block. People respond to quality. You don't have to do everything, just a couple of things, really well.

P.P.S. I came home from Five Guys and I searched Yelp, to see if anybody else complained about the loud music. EVERYBODY complained about it. That's what I want, a company so busy playing to the business press that it ignores its customers.

P.P.P.S. Everybody keeps saying you've got to be new and different, that you can't stay in the past. That's complete hogwash. McDonald's may have upgraded its buildings, but In-N-Out looks like it's stuck in the fifties. And it looked this way even back in the seventies, when it was totally unhip.

P.P.P.P.S. Hip is overrated. Almost no one's that hip. At In-N-Out you can cast aside the need to project an image, it's not about the right table, about preferential service, it's about being one of the guys and gals at the best damn hamburger joint in Southern California, maybe the world!

http://www.in-n-out.com


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E-Mail Of The Day

From: Scott McKain
Subject: Re: Beck's Sheet Music Album

Bob --

For quite a while, I have read your insight regarding traditional media versus what's really happening today in terms of gaining both recognition and advancing your career. Even though my business is a bit different as an author and speaker (although I'm also trying to move product and book gigs), I had a pretty dramatic example this week of how right you are.

On Tuesday, USA Today ran a story that not only featured me, but had two pictures -- one of me on the masthead of the Money section, and another that was on page three that was, I swear, the biggest photo I think I've ever seen in that publication. We were ecstatic...it was like winning the publicity lottery.

The article featured everything I could've hoped for...said I've traveled over 100,000 miles this year to gigs, worked internationally including Dubai and Sweden, successful author...and that even though I'm a fearful flyer, I do what it takes in order to take care of business.

Guess how many phone calls we've received to book a date as a result of that incredible, Godsend of traditional publicity? As of Thursday evening...none. Eighteen million readers...not one call.

Don't get me wrong...my ego loved watching people at the hotel and in the airport on Tuesday reading the story and seeing my picture. But, it created zero business for us so far.

On the other hand, one little story about a taxi driver I had in Jacksonville, Florida that I put up on YouTube -- giving people a chance to see and hear a portion of the program I do -- has generated about $200K in bookings in the past twelve months.

It never would have occurred to me that a video I edited on my Mac and uploaded from my house would have a more dramatic impact on my career than two huge pictures and a perfect story in USA Today. But, it did.

Please don't misunderstand...I'm thrilled and grateful they ran the article. However, the "career maker" for me was a strong piece of material, complemented by a good performance, that potential fans could see and share.

Thanks for helping me get my priorities straight, Bob.

Scott

YouTube clip: http://bit.ly/MBrOq1

Blog post with pic of "USA Today": http://bit.ly/NAIj1z

"USA Today" article: http://usat.ly/Nzvh7X

_______________________

Note: A careful reading of the "USA Today" article makes clear the focus is on fear of flying more than Mr. McKain's career. Therefore, this is not a perfect equation. But many people believe all ink is extremely beneficial. Furthermore, watch the YouTube clip. It does sell Mr. McKain quite well, you get what his act is all about. In other words, you can utilize the digital tools of the new generation to demonstrate your wares and reap rewards. If what you say has value, it reaches people and goes viral. Furthermore, YouTube is free. It requires only that you make an effort. Which is better done by you than someone you hire. And online sheen is less important than content. Don't worry about getting it perfect, worry about getting it out there.


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Beck's Sheet Music Album

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/pages/song-reader

It's a publicity stunt.

Unable to sell an album, people no longer interested in what he has to say musically, Beck has made an end run around the music business and gotten his old fans and techies excited, and has them spreading the word better than any major label campaign publicity would be able to.

Josh Freese started this.

Radiohead capitalized on this.

Kickstarter institutionalized this.

And now Beck is employing the same paradigm.

Let's separate music from publicity. The dirty little secret is if you're nobody, publicity doesn't count and music is everything. If you're nobody, if you've never broken through, if you have no toehold, you've got to create at least one track so good it's passed on virally to everybody.

Yes, the track can be good in a train-wreck way, a la Rebecca Black's "Friday," but it's got to be noteworthy. And this is much more difficult to do than to create a genius marketing campaign.

But if you've already got traction, if people already know who you are, then it's time to put your thinking cap on and come up with a left field marketing idea.

In other words, that old newspaper/magazine/interview game doesn't work anymore. Unless you say something truly astounding, like you were humiliated by a famous paramour, like John Mayer did, traditional publicity doesn't go viral. Everybody shrugs their shoulder and sees it for what it is...hype.

And we've become immune to hype.

Of course, if you can get your song on the radio, that pays dividends. Radio is still the dominant way to expose music, but contrary to the blowhards employed in it, radio's power is fading and will continue to diminish. These are the same self-satisfied pricks who said the CD was forever, that no one would want to buy an MP3. Just wait a few years, when there's Internet in the car, hell, there's already Internet in Audis, radio's mindshare will decrease. Just like network TV ratings plunged in the wake of the advent of cable and the resulting hundreds of stations. Talk radio is vital, on the pulse, music radio is not. Which is why MTV got out and now relies on longform shows. Music is an on demand item. You can hear it whenever you want wherever you want with a mouse click or a finger touch, ever hear of YouTube? Sure, people need to know what to listen to, there's room for trusted filters, but most commercial radio is beholden to advertisers, it's anything but trustworthy. As for satellite... What we've learned here is people are cheap. And satellite will never become ubiquitous. But Pandora is free. As are many other Internet music options.

Which brings us back to the issue of fame and exposing new music.

These old acts...no radio station wants to play their music. None that mean a damn. So, these acts can either work with Max Martin or Dr. Luke or stop making music or realize they're journeymen. Ironically, it's these old acts who will triumph most as radio declines, people no longer care if an artist is signed to a major label, an indie is just as credible, being on the radio won't be the end all and be all in the future.

Great music will still count. And we can debate whether these old acts can still create great music all day long, but one thing they have is their fame, can they leverage their fame?

That's what Beck Hansen has done here. He's a known quantity. Furthermore, he's known for cutting edge innovation. So people are interested in what he's doing. And he was smart enough to get them interested without the music! People haven't been talking about Beck for years, but with this one little stunt he's become part of the discussion. And what's even more interesting is the word was not spread by the music press, or traditional mainstream media, but "Forbes." (http://onforb.es/RtkRYm) In other words, if you want to go viral, you're better off being featured in "Wired" or on Gizmodo than in the "New York Times" or "Time." Because the former outlets have no b.s. images. They're not known as bastions of hype. People trust them. It may not be true if it's in the newspaper, but if it's in "Forbes"?

What Beck is doing is no different in theory from what Trent Reznor did years ago. What artists do every day on Topspin. They're upselling. Selling products that have nothing to do with the music itself. Like books. All Beck has done is push the envelope.

Name your own price is dead.

Sheet music has now been taken.

How will you get the public's attention in the future? How will you go viral?

It depends entirely on creativity. By the book, pardon the pun, does not work online, does not work with today's generation.

So Beck gets some notoriety and some coin. Maybe this stunt even drives people to his show.

But it is a stunt and it's not about music and it's no different from having some has-been movie actor appear on a sitcom. If the sitcom sucks, it's just a payday. If the sitcom is great, it burnishes your image.

It all comes down to the music. And creating great music is almost impossible.

And we're only interested in great. Good just ain't good enough.

But "Loser" was phenomenal! You only had to hear it once and you needed to hear it again. It made Beck's career. It set him up so he could employ this sheet music stunt and people would care. Have you written "Loser"?

It not, better keep your day job.


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Wednesday 15 August 2012

Mailbag

From: Sandra Charamba
Re: Quote Of The Day

Hi Bob,

Thank you for shining a light on reality!

I am the wife of an artist..and I can confirm - there is NOTHING that comes before an artist and his first love - music.
(Pavlo, (my husband)'s 1st love is the guitar) - www.pavlo.net

Although we actually DO live on a "mansion in Florida" - the ONLY thing his mind is on is the next tune.
We have a beautiful life, built on Pavlo's divine talent for playing the guitar like you've never seen; entertaining his audience AND creating beautiful original melodies. (an obvious art that is often forgotten in today's music industry)
While it sounds glamorous - the truth is that my husband is rarely home; and (you're right) he doesn't get to spend much time with our daughter; and we revolve our entire world around PAVLO - and if it were NOT this way - it just could not work. My option is to be "with him or against him" - this really is the way of an artist.

Every "vacation" is typically revolved around work.
Every dinner conversation is about him (his career).
Try putting YOUR child into a school system where you know we just won't be around for more than half the year!!!!

And if I were to complain; criticize or question his ideas or ambitions - I would find myself, along with our 3 year old daughter, on the curb. Being the wife to an artist means you will never be his 1st love/priority.

Now, as YOU know, Bob, this is not to say that Pavlo is an asshole - nothing could be further from the truth!
It's simple - an artist has a calling and they are to fulfill it - sacrificing anything that gets in the way of what their are meant to do - wives, managers and children alike.

One time, Pavlo spent every cent of what could have paid for our new home (I was very pregnant), instead, on his 1st PBS television special - ("Pavlo: Mediterranean Nights") Although it did well - for an artist - it's never enough...we are currently looking toward PBS Special #2.
And you know what? I was right behind him! I believe that his gift IS divine and it is meant to be shared - by EVERY means!

My point is that a real artist is not an asshole - he is simply focused - but like, FOCUSED on steroids. =)

Thanks Bob!!


Sandra Charamba
Director of Operations and Publicity
Hejaz Entertainment, Inc.

__________________________________________

From: Jen Chapin
Re: Quote Of The Day

"If an artist has kids, he doesn't spend much time with them."

Please, please! Please. - I am an artist and since 2005, my art is inextricably connected with my being a parent. We leave on a two week tour tomorrow, Jen Chapin Trio (featuring Stephan Crump on acoustic bass and Jamie Fox on electric guitar) in the minivan, packed with amps, acoustic bass, guitars, and two car seats in the back - one securing almost-7 year old Maceo; one with almost-3 year old Van. One or both have accompanied us on tours from Des Moines to Birmingham AL; Reno to Tumacacori, New York to Nova Scotia, NPR tapings, 9 hour drives, glory and degradation. No DVD or video games in the car, by the way, these boys listen to music, whine, get bored, daydream, snack (occasionally vomit) and giggle together on our rides.

I have written and performed amidst breastfeeding and PTA meetings, all the while spending much of my work time doing more of the hustle than the music, like all musicians nowadays. I am also a food justice activist so my time gets pulled there as well, but it's all connected and increasingly synergistic for me.

Perhaps my art is compromised by the time I spend with my kids, perhaps not. But I can say clearly that my bassist husband Stephan Crump is an uncompromising as an artist can be, while also being a hugely involved parent. His work with the Grammy-nominated Vijay Iyer Trio may take him away for 3 weeks at a time here and there, but today was a more typical day: he made the boys breakfast and packed their lunches, took them to camp and babysitter, and picked them up 5 1/2 hours later. In the meantime he noodled at the Rhodes with some composition ideas, practiced his instrument for 2+ hours, listened and relayed tweaks to the engineer of a master of his forthcoming album, reviewed photos from a shoot he did for another new album (an improvised set of duo pieces with guitarist Mary Halvorson that is both completely noncommercial in intent and utterly compelling) and did any number of other tasks. Now he's sitting down to oversee piano practice with Maceo and will probably make dinner for us. I'll take over for bath and bedtime and we'll both work for a couple hours after that before convening for a little relaxation.

I dunno, but I think we are both pretty trustworthy too. But damn opinionated and very clear on what is great and what sucks. I know that I am great, and that I suck. Isn't that part of the definition of an artist, too?

Jen


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Tuesday 14 August 2012

Quote Of The Day

"People who end up living their dreams are not those who are lucky and gifted, but those who are stubborn, resolute and willing to sacrifice."

nyti.ms/SdiO87

___________________

And while I've got your attention, I want to talk about compromise.

Artists don't.

I can't stop watching "Newsroom." One of the things I love about it is the critics hate it. But the ratings are good, it keeps soldiering on and it's been renewed for another season. And sure, it defines the political and TV news issues, but it also brings up moral issues. Like values. And compromise.

They're changing the format of the broadcast because the ratings tanked. Nancy Grace covered Casey Anthony and they didn't and they lost half a million viewers overnight and the big boss is pissed and the honchos cave. Why? Because they want the debate. The Republican debate. It's fifteen months ago, spring of '11, and they want to have an impact.

This is what businessmen do.

This is not what artists do.

This is what politicians do. That's why I keep scratching my head about D.C. Believe in what you want Republicans, but your job in Congress is to legislate, to move things forward, it's a giant sausage factory and you're on the line, work. But they won't. They're standing on ceremony, they're hewing to their principles.

No one gets to do this in business. Not even Steve Jobs.

That's why we revere artists. They're above the fray.

But now the artists have become beholden to the businessmen. Or they're businessmen themselves. Hell, if your goal is have a perfume and clothing line, you're in the land of expedience. It's not like you're creating breakthroughs, you only want the money, the cold hard cash. Furthermore, these so-called "artists" listen to their labels, agents and managers, who are businessmen themselves, with different priorities. The way it works is the artist is on top of the pyramid, everybody works for him. But it hasn't been that way in a very long time. Not since Tommy Mottola and his ilk made much more cash than any artist and every artist's career seemed to last a nanosecond. The businessmen gained control of music and instead of fighting to get it back, the artists capitulated.

Which brings us back to the quote above. Most people don't get a say. Because you're not an artist. Maybe you can play your instrument and put your songs up on iTunes, but that doesn't make you an artist, any more than playing sandlot ball makes you a major leaguer. Only a few people get to play in the big leagues. And if you think these are well-rounded friends to all, you've never met one. Successful artists are narcissists. Who only care about themselves and their careers. You come second. Whether you're the girlfriend or the manager, it makes no difference. Hell, if you're a manager you're just a day away from getting fired. If you're not moving the ball forward, you're in jeopardy. Hell, you can be doing great work and still lose your job, because the artist is mercurial and impressionable.

Most people have no idea what it takes to make it. They think it's about putting in 10,000 hours practicing in their bedroom. Hell, you've got to do that, but you've also got to live on ramen, eat from dumpsters, use and abuse your significant other and still probably not make it. Those who succeed have run a gauntlet akin to fighting a war. And once they've emerged triumphant no one is gonna take the fruits of their labor away. Artists sleep with one eye open, always fearful of falling down the ladder. Money isn't enough, fame is just as important. They're not satisfied to be retired in Florida at their mansion, they want and need you to pay attention. Forever.
The above quote comes from an essay in the "New York Times" from a professional bicycle racer. He doped. He explained why. You couldn't win without it. Oh, he's anti-doping now. But the point is he put in all that time, years of practice, and he wanted to win. So he shaved the edges.

Which is what artists do every single day.

If you think an artist is trustworthy, you've never met one.

If an artist has kids, he doesn't spend much time with them.

An artist thinks only his opinion counts. Contradict him and you'd better have a lot of history and power, something the artist wants, or you're banished.

Are you ready to sign up for this?


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Monday 13 August 2012

Gone Girl

I've been sick as a dog.

You see I was hanging with Roland Orzabal, who told me his son was in an outdoor play in Bristol, and it'd been raining all summer, and his boy had gotten sick, and the illness had spread itself throughout the family, they'd just all been to the doctor.

Didn't mean a thing to me back in the seventies. We used to share Pepsis, we were immune to germs. But then I caught a cold, and I got older, and I won't say I refuse to shake someone's hand, but I do know people who won't go places where someone else is sick. Yup, in a can-do society, we don't want anyone who can't. We require everybody to be in tip-top shape all the time.

But Roland seemed fine to me.

So I shook his hand and it wasn't long before I too was under the weather.

But I toughed it out. Six days later I was fully recovered. Without missing that much of a step. I was back in action.

And then I ran around a bit. Well, more than a bit. And last Monday I went to the Bowl to see Aerosmith, and when I woke up the next morning...

I felt like I'd been hit in the head with a brick. I couldn't even stand in the shower. I figured it was the loud music. That's what the pain on the side of my head was all about, some weird result of wearing an earplug on that side and not the other. Yes, Tyler sat us feet from the stage, in the pool box. And after fifteen minutes of Brad Whitford's guitar, who knew he was this talented?, I had to move. Or go deaf.

And we found box seats.

But we never did find Tyler thereafter. He took off for Pink Taco with his buddy Johnny Depp, who'd come out and played "Train Kept A Rollin'" on his Les Paul, quite well, in fact, and after connecting with Ron Jeremy and Mitch Schneider and the assembled multitude, I went home.

And I would have decompressed longer, but Lupe was coming in the a.m. to clean Felice's house, so I got in the bed and slept...for an hour. And then two more. I was tossing and turning like Flipper. And when I finally arose...that's when I had that left side headache.

Do you call an ambulance?

I'm prone to panic. I'm either going zero or a hundred miles an hour. It was illegal to be sick when I was growing up. If I told my mother I was ill, she'd say go to school, see if I felt better, her mom was a hypochondriac and she had no tolerance for complainers.

And this has gotten me in trouble. Sometimes you need to go to the doctor. And eventually I did. Two days later. Got to credit Felice for that, I would have hesitated forever and not done this. And I got this nasal spray and a Z-Pak for if I didn't feel better by Saturday, which I didn't, and I took it and I'm finally feeling decent, today I've turned the corner. So I want to tell you about this book "Gone Girl."

Maybe you're paying attention.

But probably not. Most people don't read books. Then again, they're reading "Fifty Shades of Grey." The publisher has moved in excess of 20 million copies in the U.S. (http://on.wsj.com/Mba05C) A huge percentage of them digital. Hell, "Fifty Shades of Grey" doesn't top the print best seller list. "Gone Girl" does.

Yes, it's the number one best seller. And I wasn't gonna read it. Because I'm not into genre books, mysteries. Because you end up reading for plot and only plot. And I hate skeletal books. Give me a bit of description, flesh out the story a bit, just don't write a movie script.

But then I read in "Entertainment Weekly" that "Gone Girl" was a "literary read." As in a "real book." And the columnist compared it to Jeffrey Eugenides's "The Marriage Plot." Did you read that? I won't say it's unreadable, but I will say it's unsatisfying. And this was before I knew the author of "Gone Girl," Gillian Flynn, once upon a time wrote for "Entertainment Weekly," and writers are a backslapping bunch, forever doing each other favors, but I took the bait, I bought it.

And I'm gonna tell you very little about it. Because I don't want to ruin it.

But I'm gonna tell you to read it.

Because the plot's interesting. Although there are too many turns. And many believe the end is unsatisfying...

OOPS! Sorry, I screwed up there. I like to go into a book cold, and when a friend told me the end wasn't as good as the beginning, it stuck with me, and I don't want to ruin your experience, it's just that...

The writer nails men and women. Relationships.

That's all that matters anyway, people. You can't make love to your computer. Without the dirty pictures and the words, it's meaningless. We're fascinated with people. How do we relate, how do we interact?

Hang in there for the whole book. Not that the pearls of wisdom don't come fast and furious. But mating is a game. And perception is key. And Gillian Flynn gets this so right, that I'm recommending this book.

Which won't be remembered forever.

But chances are you haven't read a book in eons anyway. And I won't say "Gone Girl" is impossible to put down, like Laura Hillenbrand's "Unbroken," but it's close. The book calls out to you in the middle of the night. Read me...read me...read me...

And I was mostly done by time I got sick. But I finished it when I was out of the woods but was incapable of writing. And I just don't want to let it go, let it pass into the ether of history.

Sometimes number one is more than a train-wreck. "Call Me Maybe" may be a trifle, but it's a good one. "Gone Girl" is deeper than the Carly Rae Jepsen hit, and it's even more satisfying.

Read it.

And then let's discuss it...

"'Guess what Jeff found in his cabin for me?' Greta says. 'Another book by the 'Martian Chronicles' guy.'

'Ray Bradburow,' Jeff says. 'Bradbury' I think.

'Yeah, right. "Something Wicked This Way Comes," Greta says. 'It's good.' She chirps the last bit as if that were all to say about a book: It's good or it's bad. I liked it or I didn't. No discussions of the writing, the themes, the nuances, the structure. Just good or bad. Like a hot dog."

And while I'm quoting from the book, here's a few more:

"I picture them at one of the pricier strip clubs, the posh ones that make men believe they are still designed to rule, that women are meant to serve them, the deliberately bad acoustics and thwumping music so no one has to talk, a stretch-titted woman straddling my husband..."

STRETCH-TITTED? Wow, she gets this exactly right. Whether it be the pole-dancers or Kate Beckinsale before she had her implants removed, we all notice, but we never talk about it.

"It is a do-it-yourself era: health care, real estate, police investigation. Go online and fucking figure it out for yourself because everyone's overworked and overstaffed."

Whew! We can't get answers anymore. Whether it be at the department store or Facebook. I've never seen it put better.

"Ironic people always dissolve when confronted with earnestness, it's their kryptonite."

Which is why Brooklynites look down their noses at Midwesterners. Sarah Palin understands this, but she's too stupid to understand the other side, she's completely irony-challenged.

And speaking of stupid: "This is the hardest part: waiting for stupid people to figure things out."

"It was one of the few stories we told the same way."

That's the story of being in a relationship! You lived through the same events, but you always tell the story differently. Except sometimes...

"Our kind of love can go into remission, but it's always waiting to return."

I posit that's the story of all love.

Fiction, when done right, is all about truth. There's enough truth in "Gone Girl" to keep you reading. Dig in.


"Gone Girl": http://amzn.to/O42KTL


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