"This airplane is designed by clowns who are in turn supervised by monkeys."
(Boeing employee)
Where is Ralph Nader when you need him?
The 737 Max should be scrapped, stricken from the air, but regulators are afraid of putting Boeing out of business.
That's right. In a failed attempt to compete with Airbus, which had seen the future and designed a whole new plane to address it, Boeing was caught flat-footed and gussied up an old plane, A FIFTY YEAR OLD PLANE!
Think about that. It's like putting airbags in your Valiant. You can try, but what you end up with probably won't work.
The 737 was designed for a different era, one without jetways, one in which you walked onto the plane from the tarmac.
Meaning the wings were low and the engines that hung from them were low too. So if you wanted to add more power, you needed bigger engines, that would not fit. So Boeing moved them forward. The only problem was that screwed up the stability of the plane, now it might stall because of this weight imbalance. So, in a concept only Rube Goldberg could embrace, Boeing decided to solve the problem with software, and essentially not tell anybody about it. Yup, it was so foolproof, like Windows 3.0, that you'd never get the blue screen of death, it would always work as intended, it would never CRASH!
But, of course it did.
Now if you're following this closely, the old guard, the Chuck Yeagers of this world, those who flew planes before computerization, who could land in your backyard, are saying it's all pilot error. Actually, Boeing said this too, as if everybody behind the wheel of an automobile should have the skills of Lewis Hamilton.
But not only are newbie pilots flying these planes, especially overseas, in America they overuse newbie pilots and underpay them as they fly you on regional airlines. It's business baby, and you've got to make a profit, and the public requires you to deliver low prices.
If you followed the recent numbers, manufacturing is continuing to crater in the U.S., although its revenue is being replaced by services, which is what every reasonable economist and techie has been saying for decades.
But NO! Trump was gonna bring back those well-paying jobs that if they exist today are being done by machines.
And it's not only the right, the Democrats, and all those line workers used to be Democrats, believe we need a reset too.
And the public refuses to pay $2500 for a flat screen.
Yup, we love low prices. And we want the lowest. And if they made these items in America, they'd be much more expensive.
You can't have it both ways, you can't have your cake and eat it too.
But no one can sacrifice in America. We're entitled to drive monster trucks known as SUVs and live in giant homes and pollute. Jimmy Carter said to put on a sweater and he was excoriated!
But the truth is America is sinking. Its reputation as the greatest country in the world? Ask outside.
And yes, people are still dying to immigrate here, quite literally, but there's no vision of the future, no idea that the future is coming, hell, most of our elected representatives are tech-challenged, which is why Andrew Yang's presidential campaign is getting any traction at all.
So, the truth is, the 737 Max should be scrapped. This is not the 787 Dreamliner, with new technology, batteries that must be fixed. This is not cutting edge technology whose quirks have to be ironed out. Rather, this is all about putting lipstick on a pig, AND NOT TELLING ANYBODY!
Now talk to the airlines that bought 'em. They're screwed. They've had to cancel flights, they're losing money, actually they're pushing Boeing to compensate them.
And the truth is you've got to order planes way in advance, you can't make them in a day.
But who is gonna make the airlines whole if the planes are scrapped?
Well, D.C. made GM whole but did not compensate those who purchased cars from deleted brands, like Saab and Pontiac. Not to mention that GM was mismanaged into bankruptcy, which is just what Detroit is doing right now. The manufacturers just say they're giving people what they want. But when gasoline prices soar, when people's desires change...they'll have nothing to sell them. The future always come running down the pike.
So Boeing moved its headquarters to Chicago, because the execs were sick of being in a backwater in Washington, State that is. And one of the best analyses I've read of the crisis is you gain info from walking the production line, being in the factory, engaging with the workers. But this was impossible! It'd be like asking you or me to say what's happening on the moon, we can only guess, we haven't been there and we're not going there and the execs didn't bother to go to Everett.
Sometimes you've got to start over, you've got to jettison the past.
That's what made Apple so successful under Steve Jobs. Not only did he introduce the GUI and mouse, he was famous for ditching legacy ports. pushing his customers into the future. Oh sure, they'd bitch, but come on, have you heard someone complain about the lack of parallel ports on a Mac recently? (And the parallel port was designed after the 737!)
Already there's a ripple effect as a result of the grounding of the 737 MAX, not only are the airlines who bought them and ordered them hurting, but so are the suppliers, they're laying off workers.
And in America it's all about the bottom line, right? We lionize billionaires, right? If you've got that money you were an honest, hard-working citizen who is brilliant and entitled to it...wrong!
So fired CEO Dennis Muilenberg walks with $62 million and we're left with this albatross.
Now, chances are, they'll figure out the software, the MCAS for the 737 Max. Then again, it was gonna take a few months, and now it's nearly a year. It'd be like having your printer malfunction and waiting a year for a patch. Huh?
And most people are ignorant when it comes to flying anyway. They think the plane is gonna crash when the truth is your odds of being killed in a car are so much higher.
And people are scared of flying in the 737 Max and they probably should not be.
But should they keep on making this Frankenstein plane?
Let's be practical here. There's almost no way they're gonna scrap the already built planes, but should they build any more? Air travel has not ground to a halt without the 737 Max in the air. Maybe without deliveries growth will be hampered, but the truth is the airlines are rolling in dough after years of mismanagement by having the planes fly full and charging you for not only bags, but the right to select your seat, never mind put your luggage in the overhead compartment. They, and we, can afford the wait for new planes.
But the government doesn't want to penalize Boeing.
In a reasonable country, the government would claw back Muilenberg's golden parachute. But no one with any money, no one at the top of the food chain, none of the bankers on Wall Street who cratered the economy paid, none went to jail. Imagine if they sent Muilenberg to jail! Do you think any airplane manufacturer would cut corners in the future?
But no, the little guy always pays, you and me. The government will rescue Boeing and then give them cash, like they did with Wall Street.
And you wonder why there's a left wing backlash. Yup, the people at the center of this system don't want Bernie or Elizabeth to be nominated, because they like things just the way they are, and they've convinced so many that the little guy will lose if there's any change. At least give the Trumpers credit, they realized the world was no longer working for them, even if they desired to go back to a past that wasn't so good to begin with and can never come back, because the future only goes in one direction.
But no one in D.C. has any balls. They'll testify, kick and scream, they just won't do anything.
Scrap the 737 MAX. It will be good for America.
In more ways than one.
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Saturday 11 January 2020
Friday 10 January 2020
Soleimani
It was personal.
We're watching this Norwegian series on Netflix. It's entitled "Occupied." Because of an energy crisis, Russia ultimately infiltrates Norway. And there are a lot of parallels to today's world. Like the rule of law. Once you throw it out, everything implodes. Once you use illegal information to convict someone, what is the legal system worth?
But then there's a power struggle. The prime minister leaves no room for his number two in the new government in exile. She wasn't elected, but she has incredible influence, she tells the prime minister what to do. And when she finds out there's no place for her, despite promises she's an integral member, too important to get a specific title, she goes behind the PM's back and forms a new government in Norway with HER as prime minister.
Never underestimate the power of being dissed.
Now the truth is, so many of the prognosticators, the talking heads, those inside the beltway, do not have high public profiles, especially the lobbyists and corporatists who work behind the scenes. So they're not aware of the social media blowback.
Give Trump credit, by tweeting he single-handedly brought D.C. into the present. It used to be a club of insiders, now it's run by an outsider and all the Republicans are kowtowing to him, but not those he's dissing on social media.
The most important article about the killing of Soleimani was in the "Washington Post" a week ago:
"Soleimani posted memes antagonizing Trump on social media": https://wapo.st/35JWZtq
The bigger the narcissist, the more they abhor negative feedback. Just ask Taylor Swift! Furthermore, Swift was a target because she was the biggest act in the business, and Donald Trump is PRESIDENT!
I've been there. When you say something about someone who believes they're invulnerable, above it all, THEY GO INSANE! Now at this late date, those who are savvy don't respond, if you don't amplify something, it tends to die out. But when you're hit over the head every day, when someone thinks they're just as powerful as you and has a significant position on the world stage...
IT DROVE DONALD TRUMP INSANE!
That's why they can't come up with a reason for the killing of Soleimani. Yup, for a week the press has been trying to figure out why. And Trump and the Republicans keep obfuscating, because there's no legitimate reason other than Trump had had ENOUGH!
This is why the Democrats are doomed. They're still living in the last century. Where everybody's prim and proper, where you don't use profanity, and you don't use modern media to get your message across. The Russians took ads on social media... Hillary Clinton was so busy triangulating that she had no idea what was going on!
Like Joe Biden. Who didn't even get pissed, didn't go nuclear when the Hunter Biden contract at the heart of the Ukraine controversy became front page news. If Biden were smart, and he's not, he'd have gone on the attack immediately, muddied the waters, and if he played the game the way Trump does, so successfully, he would have ADMITTED IT! Yup, Hunter got the well-paying gig because I was his dad. The same way Ivanka got all those contracts, the same way most people get a job these days...YOU'VE GOT TO KNOW SOMEBODY! That would have resonated with the public. Instead, when Biden did speak up, he kept avoiding what we all knew...Hunter got the gig because he was Joe's son, even if Joe didn't get him that gig and didn't try to keep Hunter and the company from being investigated. It's not that hard, you've just got to speak ENGLISH!
Now what the Republicans have done so well is eviscerate facts, nothing is believable anymore, everything is up for grabs. Forget climate change, it's the little things, the every day things, the right doesn't believe them. And what did the Democrats and the non-right wing press do...NOTHING! There's all this insider analysis re Soleimani when it's obvious, if you look at the big picture.
Everybody keeps talking about the job, the office, the responsibility... But that's not who Trump is. Trump is impulsive, used to getting his way. He stiffs contractors. He gropes women. And he was immune until he became President.
And Trump knows his game. Deny and refuse to reveal, over and over again.
That's another thing the hoi polloi does not understand. The press, the legal system, those are things to be MANIPULATED!
Yup, you've got your PR agent and you place the story or spin the story or trade the story to make sure it does not appear.
As for the government, the legal system, it's just business. You fight, you've got the resources. Legal battles take years. Cases are hard to prove. And worst case you settle, usually for not that much. As for the CEO of Boeing, he just walked with $60 mil, after getting fired!
Sure, we've got all this #Me Too coverage, and that's great. But we've got very little coverage about what it's like inside the boys club, amongst those who really run the world.
If you're not battling from day one, if you don't have your eyes on the prize, you're never gonna get there.
And on the way you're gonna have to be two-faced and manipulative. And when you succeed you're going to undermine and eliminate your adversaries.
And you're gonna live a large lifestyle just to prove what a big swinging dick you are. Chances are you don't have time to visit all those vacation homes, sail on that yacht, but all your contemporaries know you've got 'em. And there are the trophy wives and we lionize these corporate titans as winners, even though we abhor their morals, even though we won't do what they do.
And sure, there are some sociopaths, more than you'd imagine, but the rest of 'em? They've got no real friends, because they trust no one. And they sleep with one eye open.
So when Soleimani said "It is not in our president's dignity to respond to you..." and "If you begin the war, we will end the war. You know that this war will destroy all that you possess." Trump had two choices...to laugh or go nuclear.
True winners laugh. They know which of their enemies really have power. And they ignore those who ain't got it, and work behind the scenes to get those who do. Come on, that's how Obama got Osama, right? He didn't boast every day that he was gonna get him, didn't keep threatening him, he actually lulled Osama into complacency, and then BOOM!
Sometimes it's not that complicated. Sometimes the intellectuals ignore the human.
And we're all human. And it takes a lot to ignore the slings and arrows. The truth is most people can't. And Trump? NO WAY!
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We're watching this Norwegian series on Netflix. It's entitled "Occupied." Because of an energy crisis, Russia ultimately infiltrates Norway. And there are a lot of parallels to today's world. Like the rule of law. Once you throw it out, everything implodes. Once you use illegal information to convict someone, what is the legal system worth?
But then there's a power struggle. The prime minister leaves no room for his number two in the new government in exile. She wasn't elected, but she has incredible influence, she tells the prime minister what to do. And when she finds out there's no place for her, despite promises she's an integral member, too important to get a specific title, she goes behind the PM's back and forms a new government in Norway with HER as prime minister.
Never underestimate the power of being dissed.
Now the truth is, so many of the prognosticators, the talking heads, those inside the beltway, do not have high public profiles, especially the lobbyists and corporatists who work behind the scenes. So they're not aware of the social media blowback.
Give Trump credit, by tweeting he single-handedly brought D.C. into the present. It used to be a club of insiders, now it's run by an outsider and all the Republicans are kowtowing to him, but not those he's dissing on social media.
The most important article about the killing of Soleimani was in the "Washington Post" a week ago:
"Soleimani posted memes antagonizing Trump on social media": https://wapo.st/35JWZtq
The bigger the narcissist, the more they abhor negative feedback. Just ask Taylor Swift! Furthermore, Swift was a target because she was the biggest act in the business, and Donald Trump is PRESIDENT!
I've been there. When you say something about someone who believes they're invulnerable, above it all, THEY GO INSANE! Now at this late date, those who are savvy don't respond, if you don't amplify something, it tends to die out. But when you're hit over the head every day, when someone thinks they're just as powerful as you and has a significant position on the world stage...
IT DROVE DONALD TRUMP INSANE!
That's why they can't come up with a reason for the killing of Soleimani. Yup, for a week the press has been trying to figure out why. And Trump and the Republicans keep obfuscating, because there's no legitimate reason other than Trump had had ENOUGH!
This is why the Democrats are doomed. They're still living in the last century. Where everybody's prim and proper, where you don't use profanity, and you don't use modern media to get your message across. The Russians took ads on social media... Hillary Clinton was so busy triangulating that she had no idea what was going on!
Like Joe Biden. Who didn't even get pissed, didn't go nuclear when the Hunter Biden contract at the heart of the Ukraine controversy became front page news. If Biden were smart, and he's not, he'd have gone on the attack immediately, muddied the waters, and if he played the game the way Trump does, so successfully, he would have ADMITTED IT! Yup, Hunter got the well-paying gig because I was his dad. The same way Ivanka got all those contracts, the same way most people get a job these days...YOU'VE GOT TO KNOW SOMEBODY! That would have resonated with the public. Instead, when Biden did speak up, he kept avoiding what we all knew...Hunter got the gig because he was Joe's son, even if Joe didn't get him that gig and didn't try to keep Hunter and the company from being investigated. It's not that hard, you've just got to speak ENGLISH!
Now what the Republicans have done so well is eviscerate facts, nothing is believable anymore, everything is up for grabs. Forget climate change, it's the little things, the every day things, the right doesn't believe them. And what did the Democrats and the non-right wing press do...NOTHING! There's all this insider analysis re Soleimani when it's obvious, if you look at the big picture.
Everybody keeps talking about the job, the office, the responsibility... But that's not who Trump is. Trump is impulsive, used to getting his way. He stiffs contractors. He gropes women. And he was immune until he became President.
And Trump knows his game. Deny and refuse to reveal, over and over again.
That's another thing the hoi polloi does not understand. The press, the legal system, those are things to be MANIPULATED!
Yup, you've got your PR agent and you place the story or spin the story or trade the story to make sure it does not appear.
As for the government, the legal system, it's just business. You fight, you've got the resources. Legal battles take years. Cases are hard to prove. And worst case you settle, usually for not that much. As for the CEO of Boeing, he just walked with $60 mil, after getting fired!
Sure, we've got all this #Me Too coverage, and that's great. But we've got very little coverage about what it's like inside the boys club, amongst those who really run the world.
If you're not battling from day one, if you don't have your eyes on the prize, you're never gonna get there.
And on the way you're gonna have to be two-faced and manipulative. And when you succeed you're going to undermine and eliminate your adversaries.
And you're gonna live a large lifestyle just to prove what a big swinging dick you are. Chances are you don't have time to visit all those vacation homes, sail on that yacht, but all your contemporaries know you've got 'em. And there are the trophy wives and we lionize these corporate titans as winners, even though we abhor their morals, even though we won't do what they do.
And sure, there are some sociopaths, more than you'd imagine, but the rest of 'em? They've got no real friends, because they trust no one. And they sleep with one eye open.
So when Soleimani said "It is not in our president's dignity to respond to you..." and "If you begin the war, we will end the war. You know that this war will destroy all that you possess." Trump had two choices...to laugh or go nuclear.
True winners laugh. They know which of their enemies really have power. And they ignore those who ain't got it, and work behind the scenes to get those who do. Come on, that's how Obama got Osama, right? He didn't boast every day that he was gonna get him, didn't keep threatening him, he actually lulled Osama into complacency, and then BOOM!
Sometimes it's not that complicated. Sometimes the intellectuals ignore the human.
And we're all human. And it takes a lot to ignore the slings and arrows. The truth is most people can't. And Trump? NO WAY!
--
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Thursday 9 January 2020
Zabar's
Tom Corson sent a care package.
Actually, his assistant sent it, last month, when I was away.
So, do I tell him this? OF COURSE NOT!
But then I did.
I was frustrated. Because everything looked so good and I had to throw it out. So I checked my e-mail, to make sure it wasn't a screw-up on my end, that I did tell his assistant I wouldn't be back until 1/1.
I had.
So then I decided to take a risk. I thanked Tom, told him how much I appreciated it, but I'd had to throw it out. Tom said he'd send another one! I felt guilty, but to be honest, I wanted the food.
Zabar's.
Used to be there was a good deli in every town. A good Jewish deli. It wasn't until I was in college that I heard there was any other kind. I laughed at people talking about an "Italian" deli, or a "Polish" deli... Delis were inherently Jewish, right?
I'm still not sure.
But for a long while, my father went to Max's, which became Sam's, where the pickles were in a barrel and they sold those green tomato pickles. Actually, I didn't realize they were tomatoes, if I had, I probably wouldn't have eaten them.
And the jelly rings! Oh, scrumptious!
And all the fish I didn't eat back then and I crave now.
And the bagels..
Just like Yiddish words have become commonplace, like chutzpah and klutz, never mind schmuck and schmutz, so has the bagel.
Blame the Lenders.
You see everything used to be regional, bagels included. The Lenders owned the New Haven market, they were the first ones who decided you could freeze bagels and sell them in the supermarket. I actually went to camp with Albert Lender, who kept telling us his family made bagels, but we didn't believe it, living twenty miles away in Fairfield, until they started showing up in our supermarket.
And then...bagels went goyische.
You see, it used to be all about water bagels. And they were mostly plain, there were not all these varieties, never mind an "everything" bagel. Sure, you could get an egg bagel, an onion bagel, maybe even poppy seed, but what made a bagel a bagel was...
The exterior. Nearly hard as a rock. If you weren't about to break a tooth when you chomped down on it, it wasn't a bagel.
Then suddenly bagels were everywhere. Oftentimes they were giant-sized, and the only thing that distinguished them from regular bread was the fact they were round. These were not bagels!
Certainly on the west coast. I moved to L.A. They had the Western Bagel Company. Locals loved it, they didn't know any better. Expats? They found them declasse, inedible.
Now ultimately, Sam's closed, and Moishe's opened up. Moishe wasn't really his name, even though everybody called him that, but I knew the truth because his son Dennis went to school with me, and was a friend of mine.
But, like everything in life, the good things eventually expire. Moishe reached the end of his time, his era, and there's not a good deli in Fairfield anymore.
There's still a decent one in Westport. Gold's.
Actually, the Golds lived in Fairfield, their daughter Brett was a good friend of my sister Wendy.
But the reason I mention Gold's is because that's where Paul Newman's salad dressing was born. Julius Gold sued for a piece. He did not get it.
But today, if my mother is hosting on a big holiday, let's say Rosh Hashanah, or Passover, she sends John to Zabar's.
Now we've been going to Zabar's forever. It's the pinnacle of deli. But it was not a regular event. For the city was fifty miles away.
And, like Jews themselves, the delis are falling by the wayside. Maybe you saw that movie "Deli Man," it occasionally plays on PBS, you can pull it up on streaming services. No one wants to be a deli man anymore. You're working around the clock and you're not getting rich. Hell, even the Carnegie Deli, where Meg Ryan had her orgasm, closed.
And then it comes to intermarriage...
Funny how there's so much anti-Semitism in America, the perps don't have to worry, we're depleting our ranks all by ourselves.
But they hate us nonetheless.
So Jewish food is not one of the great cuisines. It's known for being hearty and overcooked, the complete opposite of French food. Maybe it's because in Russia you needed something to fill your belly, keep you going.
So, we've got brisket and pastrami, the former of which has gone positively mainstream.
And lox and bagels.
Oh, and whitefish and sable too, but I don't think they're gonna be around for that much longer, it's the older generation that is keeping them alive, like opera and the symphony.
And like bagels, you can now get smoked salmon everywhere.
But it's not the Nova of my dreams.
So Felice texted me that the new Zabar's box arrived, just after I was leaving my blood test for my heart doctor.
I'd been eating so clean! No rice, pasta, bread. Just two Dove chocolate bits a day. I wanna live.
But when I got home from Hollywood, Felice had cracked the rye and...
I couldn't resist.
That's another thing the non-Jews have probably never been exposed to. Going to the bakery and buying fresh rye bread. Hell, I could have eaten the entire loaf before I got home, but my mother always said "You're gonna ruin your dinner!" Although that never happened.
And the best rye bread you can get today, along with the best pastrami, happens to be in L.A., at Langer's, it's the way they recook it after it's been baked.
And actually, on the exterior of the package, Zabar's said to reheat this bread. But who can wait?
I found the end, it's all about the end, because it's all about the crust and...
It just wasn't that good.
Now that was a big step, I shouldn't be eating bread.
But now that I'd taken a bite of the rye, I had to sample the bagels. Plain, just like they're meant to be.
I'd told Felice to freeze them, but just before she did, I broke one out.
The exterior was firm. Not as firm as the bagels of yore, but far different from what passes for a bagel in those places that sell "bagel sandwiches"? Huh? Maybe HILLEL sandwiches, wouldn't it be great to be able to buy those? But a BAGEL sandwich? Inherently, if you put the two halves together, it's a sandwich, but I never heard a Jew refer to it as such.
But once you get savvy, you know it's all about splitting the bagel in half, toasting it brown and then using each side as a platform, for pickings.
So I bit into the Zabar's bagel and it...
Tasted pretty good!
Now once I go off the rails, I absolutely cannot stop myself. So I went into the fridge and got the cream cheese.
Now Max's/Sam's used to have homemade chive cheese. And not with those tiny bits of chives you get in the store-bought version but HUGE chives, you could really taste 'em! You see as big as Philadelphia is, and it's not bad, it's not in the league of homemade cream cheese. And the cream cheese from Zabar's is as good as it gets. First and foremost...IT'S CREAMY!
So I put a schmear on the bagel and take a bite and...
THE WORLD GOES FROM BLACK AND WHITE TO COLOR! There are explosions, I break out into a smile.! This is it, the holy grail! Just when you think it's unachievable, you're brought back. It's a direct link between what was then and is now. Suddenly, I was back in my childhood home, on Sunday morning.
Going back to the past is mostly creepy. Come on, those people you've reconnected with on Facebook? They may be older, but ultimately they're the same, you remember why you drifted apart.
But if you could be ten once again, at summer camp, wouldn't that be exquisite?
And now I can't stop. The plan was a bite, but now I've got to eat the whole bagel. I keep schmearing on the cream cheese, I'm in my own personal reverie.
And then I spot the rugelach. These too, have gone mainstream.
And I extract one and bite down and I'm brought back to Jewish holidays past.
So I eat another.
And then, as I'm holding the bag in my hand, Felice asks..."Do you want me to tell you when to stop?"
To tell you the truth, I was gonna eat another cinnamon rugelach. I mean every day they get stiffer and lose flavor. But I held off.
But I did finish the bagel.
And now I'm in bliss.
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Actually, his assistant sent it, last month, when I was away.
So, do I tell him this? OF COURSE NOT!
But then I did.
I was frustrated. Because everything looked so good and I had to throw it out. So I checked my e-mail, to make sure it wasn't a screw-up on my end, that I did tell his assistant I wouldn't be back until 1/1.
I had.
So then I decided to take a risk. I thanked Tom, told him how much I appreciated it, but I'd had to throw it out. Tom said he'd send another one! I felt guilty, but to be honest, I wanted the food.
Zabar's.
Used to be there was a good deli in every town. A good Jewish deli. It wasn't until I was in college that I heard there was any other kind. I laughed at people talking about an "Italian" deli, or a "Polish" deli... Delis were inherently Jewish, right?
I'm still not sure.
But for a long while, my father went to Max's, which became Sam's, where the pickles were in a barrel and they sold those green tomato pickles. Actually, I didn't realize they were tomatoes, if I had, I probably wouldn't have eaten them.
And the jelly rings! Oh, scrumptious!
And all the fish I didn't eat back then and I crave now.
And the bagels..
Just like Yiddish words have become commonplace, like chutzpah and klutz, never mind schmuck and schmutz, so has the bagel.
Blame the Lenders.
You see everything used to be regional, bagels included. The Lenders owned the New Haven market, they were the first ones who decided you could freeze bagels and sell them in the supermarket. I actually went to camp with Albert Lender, who kept telling us his family made bagels, but we didn't believe it, living twenty miles away in Fairfield, until they started showing up in our supermarket.
And then...bagels went goyische.
You see, it used to be all about water bagels. And they were mostly plain, there were not all these varieties, never mind an "everything" bagel. Sure, you could get an egg bagel, an onion bagel, maybe even poppy seed, but what made a bagel a bagel was...
The exterior. Nearly hard as a rock. If you weren't about to break a tooth when you chomped down on it, it wasn't a bagel.
Then suddenly bagels were everywhere. Oftentimes they were giant-sized, and the only thing that distinguished them from regular bread was the fact they were round. These were not bagels!
Certainly on the west coast. I moved to L.A. They had the Western Bagel Company. Locals loved it, they didn't know any better. Expats? They found them declasse, inedible.
Now ultimately, Sam's closed, and Moishe's opened up. Moishe wasn't really his name, even though everybody called him that, but I knew the truth because his son Dennis went to school with me, and was a friend of mine.
But, like everything in life, the good things eventually expire. Moishe reached the end of his time, his era, and there's not a good deli in Fairfield anymore.
There's still a decent one in Westport. Gold's.
Actually, the Golds lived in Fairfield, their daughter Brett was a good friend of my sister Wendy.
But the reason I mention Gold's is because that's where Paul Newman's salad dressing was born. Julius Gold sued for a piece. He did not get it.
But today, if my mother is hosting on a big holiday, let's say Rosh Hashanah, or Passover, she sends John to Zabar's.
Now we've been going to Zabar's forever. It's the pinnacle of deli. But it was not a regular event. For the city was fifty miles away.
And, like Jews themselves, the delis are falling by the wayside. Maybe you saw that movie "Deli Man," it occasionally plays on PBS, you can pull it up on streaming services. No one wants to be a deli man anymore. You're working around the clock and you're not getting rich. Hell, even the Carnegie Deli, where Meg Ryan had her orgasm, closed.
And then it comes to intermarriage...
Funny how there's so much anti-Semitism in America, the perps don't have to worry, we're depleting our ranks all by ourselves.
But they hate us nonetheless.
So Jewish food is not one of the great cuisines. It's known for being hearty and overcooked, the complete opposite of French food. Maybe it's because in Russia you needed something to fill your belly, keep you going.
So, we've got brisket and pastrami, the former of which has gone positively mainstream.
And lox and bagels.
Oh, and whitefish and sable too, but I don't think they're gonna be around for that much longer, it's the older generation that is keeping them alive, like opera and the symphony.
And like bagels, you can now get smoked salmon everywhere.
But it's not the Nova of my dreams.
So Felice texted me that the new Zabar's box arrived, just after I was leaving my blood test for my heart doctor.
I'd been eating so clean! No rice, pasta, bread. Just two Dove chocolate bits a day. I wanna live.
But when I got home from Hollywood, Felice had cracked the rye and...
I couldn't resist.
That's another thing the non-Jews have probably never been exposed to. Going to the bakery and buying fresh rye bread. Hell, I could have eaten the entire loaf before I got home, but my mother always said "You're gonna ruin your dinner!" Although that never happened.
And the best rye bread you can get today, along with the best pastrami, happens to be in L.A., at Langer's, it's the way they recook it after it's been baked.
And actually, on the exterior of the package, Zabar's said to reheat this bread. But who can wait?
I found the end, it's all about the end, because it's all about the crust and...
It just wasn't that good.
Now that was a big step, I shouldn't be eating bread.
But now that I'd taken a bite of the rye, I had to sample the bagels. Plain, just like they're meant to be.
I'd told Felice to freeze them, but just before she did, I broke one out.
The exterior was firm. Not as firm as the bagels of yore, but far different from what passes for a bagel in those places that sell "bagel sandwiches"? Huh? Maybe HILLEL sandwiches, wouldn't it be great to be able to buy those? But a BAGEL sandwich? Inherently, if you put the two halves together, it's a sandwich, but I never heard a Jew refer to it as such.
But once you get savvy, you know it's all about splitting the bagel in half, toasting it brown and then using each side as a platform, for pickings.
So I bit into the Zabar's bagel and it...
Tasted pretty good!
Now once I go off the rails, I absolutely cannot stop myself. So I went into the fridge and got the cream cheese.
Now Max's/Sam's used to have homemade chive cheese. And not with those tiny bits of chives you get in the store-bought version but HUGE chives, you could really taste 'em! You see as big as Philadelphia is, and it's not bad, it's not in the league of homemade cream cheese. And the cream cheese from Zabar's is as good as it gets. First and foremost...IT'S CREAMY!
So I put a schmear on the bagel and take a bite and...
THE WORLD GOES FROM BLACK AND WHITE TO COLOR! There are explosions, I break out into a smile.! This is it, the holy grail! Just when you think it's unachievable, you're brought back. It's a direct link between what was then and is now. Suddenly, I was back in my childhood home, on Sunday morning.
Going back to the past is mostly creepy. Come on, those people you've reconnected with on Facebook? They may be older, but ultimately they're the same, you remember why you drifted apart.
But if you could be ten once again, at summer camp, wouldn't that be exquisite?
And now I can't stop. The plan was a bite, but now I've got to eat the whole bagel. I keep schmearing on the cream cheese, I'm in my own personal reverie.
And then I spot the rugelach. These too, have gone mainstream.
And I extract one and bite down and I'm brought back to Jewish holidays past.
So I eat another.
And then, as I'm holding the bag in my hand, Felice asks..."Do you want me to tell you when to stop?"
To tell you the truth, I was gonna eat another cinnamon rugelach. I mean every day they get stiffer and lose flavor. But I held off.
But I did finish the bagel.
And now I'm in bliss.
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Quibi
This is what happens when baby boomers with MBAs try to compete in the tech sphere...THEY LOSE!
Furthermore, this is what happens when Hollywood tries to compete with Silicon Valley...it compromises or it loses!
Meg Whitman knows how to make the trains run on time. At eBay and then HP. Come on, tell me about one innovation under her regime at HP... You can't! You might not even know she ran the damn company.
As for Jeffrey Katzenberg...
Let's never forget that DreamWorks SKG was a failure. The goal was to build a new studio. The record label failed, because there was no catalog, despite having Lenny and Mo who overspent not understanding the world was changing. Spielberg made movies, he still does. Sure, Katzenberg ended up with a cartoon studio, sold at a profit, but he was blown out! If he was so integral, wouldn't they have kept him?
So, a brilliant idea... Millennials are addicted to their phones, they've got a short attention span, let's feed them bite-sized series, since they're UNDERSERVED!
Well, no! Ever hear of YouTube? Never mind stories on Snapchat and Instagram, all of which are FREE!
That's the funny thing about Quibi... It's $4.99 with ads and $7.99 without. You mean I'm gonna pay the same price as Apple or Disney?
Oh, it's free with T-Mobile? Disney is with Verizon, Apple is with the purchase of a new product.
So the youngsters have the paradigm right. You build it and if they come you figure out how to monetize it. Can you say GOOGLE? Almost every successful internet story started with a free product. But NO! MBA boomers start out with a business plan, they work the numbers first!
The young techies know it's about hit product. Something that people can't resist. They addict them, and then they charge 'em. But oftentimes it feels free, because of ads...can you say Facebook, can you say SOCIAL MEDIA?
And Apple hasn't come up with a hit show and streaming was an afterthought to DVDs by mail at Netflix first.
How can this inane project get ink? How can this inane project just raise another $400 million, after a billion already? This reminds me of people who invested in Neil Young's Pono...because it was Neil Young it was gonna succeed. HUH?
As for adult supervision... That's what killed Apple the first time around, the installation of John Sculley, who just like Whitman knew how to make the trains run on time, this time at Pepsi, but did not understand the soul of computing, just like Whitman knows nothing about entertainment.
Furthermore, entertainment online is not passive, but active! The stars come from the streets and the audience interacts with them!
How could they get it so wrong?
Quibi is a disaster, a complete waste of money as a pay service. Expect them to change the model, be free, or tie in with YouTube, Facebook and/or Instagram and Snapchat in an effort to succeed.
And after they pivot, they might declare victory, but really, this idea with this business model is DOA.
"Quibi raises $400 million to make more bite-sized shows": https://lat.ms/305LhrW
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Furthermore, this is what happens when Hollywood tries to compete with Silicon Valley...it compromises or it loses!
Meg Whitman knows how to make the trains run on time. At eBay and then HP. Come on, tell me about one innovation under her regime at HP... You can't! You might not even know she ran the damn company.
As for Jeffrey Katzenberg...
Let's never forget that DreamWorks SKG was a failure. The goal was to build a new studio. The record label failed, because there was no catalog, despite having Lenny and Mo who overspent not understanding the world was changing. Spielberg made movies, he still does. Sure, Katzenberg ended up with a cartoon studio, sold at a profit, but he was blown out! If he was so integral, wouldn't they have kept him?
So, a brilliant idea... Millennials are addicted to their phones, they've got a short attention span, let's feed them bite-sized series, since they're UNDERSERVED!
Well, no! Ever hear of YouTube? Never mind stories on Snapchat and Instagram, all of which are FREE!
That's the funny thing about Quibi... It's $4.99 with ads and $7.99 without. You mean I'm gonna pay the same price as Apple or Disney?
Oh, it's free with T-Mobile? Disney is with Verizon, Apple is with the purchase of a new product.
So the youngsters have the paradigm right. You build it and if they come you figure out how to monetize it. Can you say GOOGLE? Almost every successful internet story started with a free product. But NO! MBA boomers start out with a business plan, they work the numbers first!
The young techies know it's about hit product. Something that people can't resist. They addict them, and then they charge 'em. But oftentimes it feels free, because of ads...can you say Facebook, can you say SOCIAL MEDIA?
And Apple hasn't come up with a hit show and streaming was an afterthought to DVDs by mail at Netflix first.
How can this inane project get ink? How can this inane project just raise another $400 million, after a billion already? This reminds me of people who invested in Neil Young's Pono...because it was Neil Young it was gonna succeed. HUH?
As for adult supervision... That's what killed Apple the first time around, the installation of John Sculley, who just like Whitman knew how to make the trains run on time, this time at Pepsi, but did not understand the soul of computing, just like Whitman knows nothing about entertainment.
Furthermore, entertainment online is not passive, but active! The stars come from the streets and the audience interacts with them!
How could they get it so wrong?
Quibi is a disaster, a complete waste of money as a pay service. Expect them to change the model, be free, or tie in with YouTube, Facebook and/or Instagram and Snapchat in an effort to succeed.
And after they pivot, they might declare victory, but really, this idea with this business model is DOA.
"Quibi raises $400 million to make more bite-sized shows": https://lat.ms/305LhrW
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Dave Mason-This Week's Podcast
Singer/songwriter/gunslinger Dave Mason was a member of Traffic, wrote "Feelin' Alright" as well as "Only You Know And I Know" (popularized by Delaney & Bonnie when they were on tour with Dave and Eric Clapton), and was the creator of the perfect debut album "Alone Together" and recorded the smash hit "We Just Disagree." Now that's a CV!
https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1119-the-bob-lefsetz-podcast-30806836/
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dave-mason/id1316200737?i=1000462004462
https://open.spotify.com/episode/4WHaDIaDIL6H1S2cvndQfb
https://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=66425642
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https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1119-the-bob-lefsetz-podcast-30806836/
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dave-mason/id1316200737?i=1000462004462
https://open.spotify.com/episode/4WHaDIaDIL6H1S2cvndQfb
https://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=66425642
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Tuesday 7 January 2020
More Poop
Thanks for TBC report Bob. I'm the dad of two twin boys and yes, poopy butts are big "at home" topics. Apparently Billie Eilish is a fan.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BiwhRqCBSh2/?hl=en
-James Richards
______________________________________
Providence College, Class of 2000, English Major.
2000 - 2017, I worked a day job at a group home for teens (got 40 hours done in 3 days, leaving the rest of the week to make music)
I was part of a duo called Moes Haven. We released 25 albums in the 2000s. We wrote dozens of perfect compositions like "Dig In!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UYd9wmU6Fw and "Tin Roof Tap Dance" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhZXZx-4lck
But I noticed around 2007 that the only money we earned on iTunes was from the occasional silly song we wrote, like "Shut Up Your Monkey" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UncdKShieSY and "Forgot to Wipe" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RnhzoitxDH4
So in 2008 I started writing more songs like that. I'm up to 20,000 songs now. I have 80 different pseudonyms that I use to release songs, including The Very Nice Interesting Singer Man, The Odd Man Who Sings About Poop Puke and Pee, The Guy Who Sings Songs About Cities and Towns, etc.
I made a narrative movie called LOCAL LEGENDS that explains much of this. You can find it on Amazon Prime: https://www.amazon.com/Local-Legends-Matt-Farley/dp/B07LGG92GP/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=%22Matt+Farley%22&qid=1578369132&s=instant-video&sr=1-2
I'm happy to explain more if you want.
Here's my playlist on Spotify that mixes my best silly songs with my best straightforward songs: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5NpbTHJJUt7qyXiPlg5m73
Thanks so much!!!! Many people write me off because my songs are silly. I appreciate it that you bothered to recognize that there's some quality there!
-Matt Farley
______________________________________
They hired him to do our first commercial ad spots for the dealership group I work at.
https://youtu.be/TOrRvm3v_cw
Jordan Lyga
______________________________________
My nine year old loves The Toilet Bowl Cleaners. And I do too. We share a common Spotify playlist in the car. Some songs are her picks. Some are mine. We're allowed to skip past songs when we get tired of them and eventually those songs get removed. But whenever the five TBC songs come up, we always listen and bask in their brilliant stupidity. How did we get here? It was inevitable. I tried to get her to listen to the classics, but I made little headway. But then she discovered Weird Al and that was my ticket in. We then moved to the classic Dr. Demento stuff and then to all these poop songs. We are now moving on to They Might Be Giants and in between all those she now rarely passes on the Beatles or Stones or XTC OR whatever i throw at here and I usually let K-Pop play on. I would to thank comedy And poop for making my kid a real music fan at a way earlier age than myself.
Tim Redman
______________________________________
Reply All and/or TL;DR did an episode about him a few years back, and I will say that "Poop Into a Wormhole" was #1 with a bullet for my then-4 year old.
Jeff Raymond
______________________________________
He's got more than poop songs!
He also sings songs about every single first name (I'm partial to the lyrics: "Steven, Steven Steven ... Steven? Steven!"), for numerous city names, for animals, and then he is also the notorious "The Very Strange Man Who Sings Songs About Dead Animals" (try the catchy, if obviously bizarre, "Dead Llama"). These are all on Spotify. And god only knows what else (since he uses alias names for all).
Steve Heller
______________________________________
Thanks for this, Bob. My four year old and I had a healthy laugh over a couple of these just now. Whether all of us would admit it or not, we all can laugh at potty humor. After all, everybody poops.
On the subject of music and toilet humor, here's a short little ditty from 9-10 years ago in the same category that still makes me literally "LOL" when I hear it. https://youtu.be/7jEM8-Gbknk
Nick Tieder
______________________________________
The song is pretty funny.
The Santa one is even better! lol
Kevin Kiley
______________________________________
I clicked on the Spotify link and the next thing I saw was "Log In" - which totally cracked me up. Sometimes fourth grade humor is the best humor!!
Rich Madow
______________________________________
"By starting from the bottom up"
I see what you did there.... Song is hilarious, by the way.
Matthew Dunaway
______________________________________
All sort of odd but cool tracks out there...
Puppy Dog Bouncin'
https://youtu.be/Q4dcGrvMfyA
jsmartinii
______________________________________
I am in awe of the world we live in. Discover something new every day. This is just such an awesome story on so many levels. Thank you!
Jim Carroll
______________________________________
brilliant
Peter Noone
______________________________________
Entertaining - Impressive
Hi Bob!
My punk rock side project released a song called "Salsa Balls" (https://bit.ly/37GEF63) last year about the guy who put his balls in a customers salsa over a low delivery tip. It was a bit of a test to see how quickly we could write, record (2hrs), and get a song up and out on Spotify (2 days total).
We're in our mid 30s, my writing partner was laughing about all the years of making, releasing, and promoting music, money and time invested... and a song called Salsa Balls is his first song on the radio(Rebel 101.7 - Ottawa, ON).
From the PD there, listener reaction was positive and their kids loved it... it's catchy and fun... wasn't sure it was appropriate for kids but then I think back to how often the jokes or literal content can go over a child's head.
It's no secret people will share something cool, funny, or entertaining long before something that's impressive... and that stings if you're a seasoned songwriter and/or musician.
Keep fightin' the good fight!
-Mike :-)
MIKE LANGFORD
Producer | Mixer | Engineer
Blind Science
Toronto, ON
______________________________________
Oh God! I LOVE Turtlehead Poop and Scarlett Johanssen Farts, Poop in the Urinal. So I guess I like toilet humor. So? So? What's wrong with that?
Matt Farley, you are a crackup!
Your new friend,
Greg Prestopino
______________________________________
My kids love this guy!
'I pee when I poop' is also a classic!
Very catchy.
Jesse Flavell
______________________________________
Yeah my son (7 now) is his biggest fan and has been listening to his shit for a few years. He plays it for his play-dates the way we adults share crass shit on our WhatsApp bro's groups. It's also perfect viral material for them because mention of poo-related shit (npi) is the most accessible taboo in their lives that they want to share with their friends, and it's one that doesn't get them in trouble with the parents (and is my go-to subject to most efficiently capture their attention).
Best,
Kia Kamran
______________________________________
Hey Bob
Something I can share with my 12 year old son that he won't poo poo :-)
Thanks
Jon O'Keefe
______________________________________
https://open.spotify.com/track/2QLGkiJxugt03yGKVPt3u5?si=q4X27TvvRguox0juQpd6iw
My two year old is obsessed with this song and has Alexa playing it on repeat.
What a shitty state of affairs ...... boom boom! Hope you're good Bob.
Will Bloomfield
______________________________________
Hey Bob
We discovered this guys years ago and have played "Poop from my Pee hole" more than grown-ish men should have:)
Mazel on all your success,
Humble and Fred
______________________________________
Thanks for the ear worm, Bob. I hate it but it hits all the metrics.
PS: Thumbs Up on the Farley repost!
Dave Benson
______________________________________
?That's the way to start out the New Decade Bob. That's funnier than shit! HA!
That's been our niche for 30 years; under the radar, "Broadway" style talent, all live concerts, meticulously recreated for look, costume, voice & choreography. Our acts have played for the NFL Super Bowl, largest Mardi Gras Ball, The Rose Bowl, every casino in the US and also in a dozen Countries. And now it's really about to break cause of the retired Boomers.
Rick Kanfer
EweRock.net
______________________________________
Bob - thanks for the Spotify link to the TBC, those songs are hilarious!
Sincerely,
Aaron Koral
______________________________________
I took the time to listen to the Matt Farley hit list tonight.
Complete crap...excuse the pun.
I don't mind a good scatological song...but I could hardly find anything memorable about these melodies or changes. The lyrics are somewhat terrific mind you.
The Canadian in me says..."sorry to disagree".
Ari Posner
______________________________________
Bob your missing the best there is
Larry Pierce music never made an LP on 33 but the songs are out of this world.
John Green
______________________________________
nitwits. Thanks!
Dave Curtis
______________________________________
Well this info -binge watching Dr Pimple popper and the current political climate is proof the movie Idiocracy was a Documentary and we are living the sequel.
Be a good time for the aliens or Jesus or someone to show up and fix this shit !
Steve Lukather
______________________________________
Spotify = Poopify
Olie Kornelsen
______________________________________
Hey Bob,
I totally get this. One of The Malibooz' early big gigs was at the NY State World's Fair in 1965.
The World's Fair was in Flushing.
John Zambetti
The Malibooz
______________________________________
DO YOU CHECK OUT THE SIZE OF YOUR TURDS?!
Every time.
Poop, the great connector.
Brendan Willig
______________________________________
"Alexa play toilet bowl cleaners"
Only got through two songs, but it made me laugh.
Thank you.
Sasha Dodds
______________________________________
Is this serious? 3rd grade poop songs ? Like repeating a pile of poop emoji? Why even go there?
Mary Alfiler
______________________________________
No more emails please
Heidi Culbertson
Heidi Culbertson Legal Marketing LLC
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https://www.instagram.com/p/BiwhRqCBSh2/?hl=en
-James Richards
______________________________________
Providence College, Class of 2000, English Major.
2000 - 2017, I worked a day job at a group home for teens (got 40 hours done in 3 days, leaving the rest of the week to make music)
I was part of a duo called Moes Haven. We released 25 albums in the 2000s. We wrote dozens of perfect compositions like "Dig In!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UYd9wmU6Fw and "Tin Roof Tap Dance" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhZXZx-4lck
But I noticed around 2007 that the only money we earned on iTunes was from the occasional silly song we wrote, like "Shut Up Your Monkey" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UncdKShieSY and "Forgot to Wipe" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RnhzoitxDH4
So in 2008 I started writing more songs like that. I'm up to 20,000 songs now. I have 80 different pseudonyms that I use to release songs, including The Very Nice Interesting Singer Man, The Odd Man Who Sings About Poop Puke and Pee, The Guy Who Sings Songs About Cities and Towns, etc.
I made a narrative movie called LOCAL LEGENDS that explains much of this. You can find it on Amazon Prime: https://www.amazon.com/Local-Legends-Matt-Farley/dp/B07LGG92GP/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=%22Matt+Farley%22&qid=1578369132&s=instant-video&sr=1-2
I'm happy to explain more if you want.
Here's my playlist on Spotify that mixes my best silly songs with my best straightforward songs: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5NpbTHJJUt7qyXiPlg5m73
Thanks so much!!!! Many people write me off because my songs are silly. I appreciate it that you bothered to recognize that there's some quality there!
-Matt Farley
______________________________________
They hired him to do our first commercial ad spots for the dealership group I work at.
https://youtu.be/TOrRvm3v_cw
Jordan Lyga
______________________________________
My nine year old loves The Toilet Bowl Cleaners. And I do too. We share a common Spotify playlist in the car. Some songs are her picks. Some are mine. We're allowed to skip past songs when we get tired of them and eventually those songs get removed. But whenever the five TBC songs come up, we always listen and bask in their brilliant stupidity. How did we get here? It was inevitable. I tried to get her to listen to the classics, but I made little headway. But then she discovered Weird Al and that was my ticket in. We then moved to the classic Dr. Demento stuff and then to all these poop songs. We are now moving on to They Might Be Giants and in between all those she now rarely passes on the Beatles or Stones or XTC OR whatever i throw at here and I usually let K-Pop play on. I would to thank comedy And poop for making my kid a real music fan at a way earlier age than myself.
Tim Redman
______________________________________
Reply All and/or TL;DR did an episode about him a few years back, and I will say that "Poop Into a Wormhole" was #1 with a bullet for my then-4 year old.
Jeff Raymond
______________________________________
He's got more than poop songs!
He also sings songs about every single first name (I'm partial to the lyrics: "Steven, Steven Steven ... Steven? Steven!"), for numerous city names, for animals, and then he is also the notorious "The Very Strange Man Who Sings Songs About Dead Animals" (try the catchy, if obviously bizarre, "Dead Llama"). These are all on Spotify. And god only knows what else (since he uses alias names for all).
Steve Heller
______________________________________
Thanks for this, Bob. My four year old and I had a healthy laugh over a couple of these just now. Whether all of us would admit it or not, we all can laugh at potty humor. After all, everybody poops.
On the subject of music and toilet humor, here's a short little ditty from 9-10 years ago in the same category that still makes me literally "LOL" when I hear it. https://youtu.be/7jEM8-Gbknk
Nick Tieder
______________________________________
The song is pretty funny.
The Santa one is even better! lol
Kevin Kiley
______________________________________
I clicked on the Spotify link and the next thing I saw was "Log In" - which totally cracked me up. Sometimes fourth grade humor is the best humor!!
Rich Madow
______________________________________
"By starting from the bottom up"
I see what you did there.... Song is hilarious, by the way.
Matthew Dunaway
______________________________________
All sort of odd but cool tracks out there...
Puppy Dog Bouncin'
https://youtu.be/Q4dcGrvMfyA
jsmartinii
______________________________________
I am in awe of the world we live in. Discover something new every day. This is just such an awesome story on so many levels. Thank you!
Jim Carroll
______________________________________
brilliant
Peter Noone
______________________________________
Entertaining - Impressive
Hi Bob!
My punk rock side project released a song called "Salsa Balls" (https://bit.ly/37GEF63) last year about the guy who put his balls in a customers salsa over a low delivery tip. It was a bit of a test to see how quickly we could write, record (2hrs), and get a song up and out on Spotify (2 days total).
We're in our mid 30s, my writing partner was laughing about all the years of making, releasing, and promoting music, money and time invested... and a song called Salsa Balls is his first song on the radio(Rebel 101.7 - Ottawa, ON).
From the PD there, listener reaction was positive and their kids loved it... it's catchy and fun... wasn't sure it was appropriate for kids but then I think back to how often the jokes or literal content can go over a child's head.
It's no secret people will share something cool, funny, or entertaining long before something that's impressive... and that stings if you're a seasoned songwriter and/or musician.
Keep fightin' the good fight!
-Mike :-)
MIKE LANGFORD
Producer | Mixer | Engineer
Blind Science
Toronto, ON
______________________________________
Oh God! I LOVE Turtlehead Poop and Scarlett Johanssen Farts, Poop in the Urinal. So I guess I like toilet humor. So? So? What's wrong with that?
Matt Farley, you are a crackup!
Your new friend,
Greg Prestopino
______________________________________
My kids love this guy!
'I pee when I poop' is also a classic!
Very catchy.
Jesse Flavell
______________________________________
Yeah my son (7 now) is his biggest fan and has been listening to his shit for a few years. He plays it for his play-dates the way we adults share crass shit on our WhatsApp bro's groups. It's also perfect viral material for them because mention of poo-related shit (npi) is the most accessible taboo in their lives that they want to share with their friends, and it's one that doesn't get them in trouble with the parents (and is my go-to subject to most efficiently capture their attention).
Best,
Kia Kamran
______________________________________
Hey Bob
Something I can share with my 12 year old son that he won't poo poo :-)
Thanks
Jon O'Keefe
______________________________________
https://open.spotify.com/track/2QLGkiJxugt03yGKVPt3u5?si=q4X27TvvRguox0juQpd6iw
My two year old is obsessed with this song and has Alexa playing it on repeat.
What a shitty state of affairs ...... boom boom! Hope you're good Bob.
Will Bloomfield
______________________________________
Hey Bob
We discovered this guys years ago and have played "Poop from my Pee hole" more than grown-ish men should have:)
Mazel on all your success,
Humble and Fred
______________________________________
Thanks for the ear worm, Bob. I hate it but it hits all the metrics.
PS: Thumbs Up on the Farley repost!
Dave Benson
______________________________________
?That's the way to start out the New Decade Bob. That's funnier than shit! HA!
That's been our niche for 30 years; under the radar, "Broadway" style talent, all live concerts, meticulously recreated for look, costume, voice & choreography. Our acts have played for the NFL Super Bowl, largest Mardi Gras Ball, The Rose Bowl, every casino in the US and also in a dozen Countries. And now it's really about to break cause of the retired Boomers.
Rick Kanfer
EweRock.net
______________________________________
Bob - thanks for the Spotify link to the TBC, those songs are hilarious!
Sincerely,
Aaron Koral
______________________________________
I took the time to listen to the Matt Farley hit list tonight.
Complete crap...excuse the pun.
I don't mind a good scatological song...but I could hardly find anything memorable about these melodies or changes. The lyrics are somewhat terrific mind you.
The Canadian in me says..."sorry to disagree".
Ari Posner
______________________________________
Bob your missing the best there is
Larry Pierce music never made an LP on 33 but the songs are out of this world.
John Green
______________________________________
nitwits. Thanks!
Dave Curtis
______________________________________
Well this info -binge watching Dr Pimple popper and the current political climate is proof the movie Idiocracy was a Documentary and we are living the sequel.
Be a good time for the aliens or Jesus or someone to show up and fix this shit !
Steve Lukather
______________________________________
Spotify = Poopify
Olie Kornelsen
______________________________________
Hey Bob,
I totally get this. One of The Malibooz' early big gigs was at the NY State World's Fair in 1965.
The World's Fair was in Flushing.
John Zambetti
The Malibooz
______________________________________
DO YOU CHECK OUT THE SIZE OF YOUR TURDS?!
Every time.
Poop, the great connector.
Brendan Willig
______________________________________
"Alexa play toilet bowl cleaners"
Only got through two songs, but it made me laugh.
Thank you.
Sasha Dodds
______________________________________
Is this serious? 3rd grade poop songs ? Like repeating a pile of poop emoji? Why even go there?
Mary Alfiler
______________________________________
No more emails please
Heidi Culbertson
Heidi Culbertson Legal Marketing LLC
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Monday 6 January 2020
From Mr. Toilet Bowl Cleaner
Subject: I'm Matt Farley of The toilet Bowl Cleaners!
Hi Bob,
One of my listeners alerted me to your recent newsletter that discusses how I was in The WSJ. Thanks so much for the kind words!
Life is good here in Massachusetts. My 20,000 song earned me $56,000 last year, plus another $23,000 from Custom Songs. All that, and I rarely had to leave my suburban basement!!
If you're ever in the Boston area, come check out my free monthly show in Danvers!! Details here: https://moternmedia.com/live-shows
-Matt Farley
Click here to listen to my 300+best songs on Spotify!: https://spoti.fi/2us4tVj
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Hi Bob,
One of my listeners alerted me to your recent newsletter that discusses how I was in The WSJ. Thanks so much for the kind words!
Life is good here in Massachusetts. My 20,000 song earned me $56,000 last year, plus another $23,000 from Custom Songs. All that, and I rarely had to leave my suburban basement!!
If you're ever in the Boston area, come check out my free monthly show in Danvers!! Details here: https://moternmedia.com/live-shows
-Matt Farley
Click here to listen to my 300+best songs on Spotify!: https://spoti.fi/2us4tVj
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The Toilet Bowl Cleaners
"Poop In My Fingernails" is a hit!
Like I told you, I read the newspapers from cover to cover.
I start with the L.A. "Times," because there's so little in it. I check Calendar for the entertainment news, but so much of it is hype/fluff. Then the scores in Sports. The California section, to see if anything's going on in the state, and then Business, which is oftentimes just a page or two. If you got the L.A. "Times," you'd get the idea nothing is happening.
But I stop short of the front page. I don't read that until I'm done with the "New York Times," because it goes into so much more depth. I oftentimes read the same story twice, i.e. different takes in different papers, just to glean more info, and sometimes the spin is completely different! The NYT said car sales were burgeoning! The WSJ said they were in trouble! I follow this pretty closely, I know the WSJ is right. (Actually, I should be saying "SUV sales." But, when the next energy crisis comes, will everybody start running to Honda and Mazda, which are getting creamed because they're still focused on sedans?) So, I read the "New York Times" for the real news. Although I usually read from back to front. Or, what used to be back to front, now Business is second, I go for that first. (Yes, I still read the physical papers, you find stuff you won't see online, although I am addicted to the apps, and it's funny how they change the headlines.) I used to read Arts first, but that's nearly a joke, not as bad as the LAT, but still... And to tell you the truth, one of the best sections of the week comes on Tuesday, Science is a killer, and I thought I didn't even like science!
And when I've finished the hard news in the NYT, I switch to the "Wall Street Journal," whose best paper is on Saturday. I start with Off Duty, which contains Dan Neil's car reviews, he's the best. And then I go to the front section and then to the second section, which they've now renamed "Exchange." I think that's where I read about the Toilet Bowl Cleaners. I had to call out to Alexa to hear their music immediately, I could not make it to the final section, Review, yet.
So this guy Jonathan Eig writes about driving with his family. Here's the link, but it's behind a paywall: https://on.wsj.com/2N1VCQB
Eig says he never relinquishes the dial, just like his dad.
It was different when my father was driving. If it was a family trip, he'd start out with beautiful music, or "Monitor," but eventually we'd lobby for our tunes. He'd switch, and that would last anywhere from 30-45 minutes before he freaked out, uttered an obscenity, and then went back to his stations.
But Eig is feeling guilty so he asks his kids what they want to listen to...
POOP IN MY FINGERNAILS!
BUTT CHEEKS BUTT CHEEKS BUTT CHEEKS!
FECAL MATTER ON MY TOOTHBRUSH!
The kids said when you ask Alexa to play songs about poop, that's what you get. I immediately tried it, I didn't get the Toilet Bowl Cleaners, but then I asked for them directly and started cracking up!
Kids have a fascination with poop. And you probably do too, even though you won't admit it. Come on, do you check out the size of your turds?
Well, it turns out that the Toilet Bowl Cleaners, aka Matt Farley, have a way with both words and changes. The vocal might not be radio-ready, but you get hooked!
So I started to research, I'd never heard of the guy.
So, Wikipedia tells us Matt made $23,000 from his songs back in 2013. I'm sure it's only gone up from then, assuming these numbers are accurate, who knows? After all, "Poop In My Fingernails" only has 1,765,148 streams on Spotify as I write this. And there are only 523,287 views on YouTube. But it turns out the Toilet Bowl Cleaners isn't Matt's only act. He's got one for food. Oftentimes each song features a different moniker! Oh, and Matt will write a custom song for a mere $65. Although a deluxe number, fully produced, costs $170.
So what we have here is a business. Matt is probably making more than the wannabe pop and hip-hop acts. Most people don't know his name, but then again many people no longer know the names of those who go number one!
Now Eig had Farley write him a custom song. About armpit farts. I clicked through to hear it on YouTube. I was shocked to find out "Armpit Farts, A Love Song," only had 2,333 views. That's right, you think you get press and you're home free! But most people don't click through, if they read the news at all.
But the thing is...Matt Farley has talent, as well as a swell sense of humor. He's got a better idea of what's a hit than those trying to create one! He understands you've got to hook the listener immediately, that you want to be able to sing along, oftentimes before the track is even over, and he knows that changes are the key to creating a smash.
I don't expect the Toilet Bowl Cleaners/Matt Farley to become household names. However, they play live, they have a festival, in the minds of their fans, they're somebodies! (And never forget the success of "Baby Shark"!)
By starting from the bottom up, by not trying to reach everybody, by employing the new tools to create and distribute, Matt Farley has created a business. This is the cottage industry the internet affords.
And I'd rather listen to Matt Farley than much of what's in the Spotify Top 50...IT'S POOP!
Spotify: https://spoti.fi/2ZXTbDN
YouTube: https://bit.ly/39K3yQ6
https://moternmedia.com/home
Like I told you, I read the newspapers from cover to cover.
I start with the L.A. "Times," because there's so little in it. I check Calendar for the entertainment news, but so much of it is hype/fluff. Then the scores in Sports. The California section, to see if anything's going on in the state, and then Business, which is oftentimes just a page or two. If you got the L.A. "Times," you'd get the idea nothing is happening.
But I stop short of the front page. I don't read that until I'm done with the "New York Times," because it goes into so much more depth. I oftentimes read the same story twice, i.e. different takes in different papers, just to glean more info, and sometimes the spin is completely different! The NYT said car sales were burgeoning! The WSJ said they were in trouble! I follow this pretty closely, I know the WSJ is right. (Actually, I should be saying "SUV sales." But, when the next energy crisis comes, will everybody start running to Honda and Mazda, which are getting creamed because they're still focused on sedans?) So, I read the "New York Times" for the real news. Although I usually read from back to front. Or, what used to be back to front, now Business is second, I go for that first. (Yes, I still read the physical papers, you find stuff you won't see online, although I am addicted to the apps, and it's funny how they change the headlines.) I used to read Arts first, but that's nearly a joke, not as bad as the LAT, but still... And to tell you the truth, one of the best sections of the week comes on Tuesday, Science is a killer, and I thought I didn't even like science!
And when I've finished the hard news in the NYT, I switch to the "Wall Street Journal," whose best paper is on Saturday. I start with Off Duty, which contains Dan Neil's car reviews, he's the best. And then I go to the front section and then to the second section, which they've now renamed "Exchange." I think that's where I read about the Toilet Bowl Cleaners. I had to call out to Alexa to hear their music immediately, I could not make it to the final section, Review, yet.
So this guy Jonathan Eig writes about driving with his family. Here's the link, but it's behind a paywall: https://on.wsj.com/2N1VCQB
Eig says he never relinquishes the dial, just like his dad.
It was different when my father was driving. If it was a family trip, he'd start out with beautiful music, or "Monitor," but eventually we'd lobby for our tunes. He'd switch, and that would last anywhere from 30-45 minutes before he freaked out, uttered an obscenity, and then went back to his stations.
But Eig is feeling guilty so he asks his kids what they want to listen to...
POOP IN MY FINGERNAILS!
BUTT CHEEKS BUTT CHEEKS BUTT CHEEKS!
FECAL MATTER ON MY TOOTHBRUSH!
The kids said when you ask Alexa to play songs about poop, that's what you get. I immediately tried it, I didn't get the Toilet Bowl Cleaners, but then I asked for them directly and started cracking up!
Kids have a fascination with poop. And you probably do too, even though you won't admit it. Come on, do you check out the size of your turds?
Well, it turns out that the Toilet Bowl Cleaners, aka Matt Farley, have a way with both words and changes. The vocal might not be radio-ready, but you get hooked!
So I started to research, I'd never heard of the guy.
So, Wikipedia tells us Matt made $23,000 from his songs back in 2013. I'm sure it's only gone up from then, assuming these numbers are accurate, who knows? After all, "Poop In My Fingernails" only has 1,765,148 streams on Spotify as I write this. And there are only 523,287 views on YouTube. But it turns out the Toilet Bowl Cleaners isn't Matt's only act. He's got one for food. Oftentimes each song features a different moniker! Oh, and Matt will write a custom song for a mere $65. Although a deluxe number, fully produced, costs $170.
So what we have here is a business. Matt is probably making more than the wannabe pop and hip-hop acts. Most people don't know his name, but then again many people no longer know the names of those who go number one!
Now Eig had Farley write him a custom song. About armpit farts. I clicked through to hear it on YouTube. I was shocked to find out "Armpit Farts, A Love Song," only had 2,333 views. That's right, you think you get press and you're home free! But most people don't click through, if they read the news at all.
But the thing is...Matt Farley has talent, as well as a swell sense of humor. He's got a better idea of what's a hit than those trying to create one! He understands you've got to hook the listener immediately, that you want to be able to sing along, oftentimes before the track is even over, and he knows that changes are the key to creating a smash.
I don't expect the Toilet Bowl Cleaners/Matt Farley to become household names. However, they play live, they have a festival, in the minds of their fans, they're somebodies! (And never forget the success of "Baby Shark"!)
By starting from the bottom up, by not trying to reach everybody, by employing the new tools to create and distribute, Matt Farley has created a business. This is the cottage industry the internet affords.
And I'd rather listen to Matt Farley than much of what's in the Spotify Top 50...IT'S POOP!
Spotify: https://spoti.fi/2ZXTbDN
YouTube: https://bit.ly/39K3yQ6
https://moternmedia.com/home
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SiriusXM This Week
Your most memorable music experience of the 2010s.
Tune in tomorrow, Tuesday January 7th, to Volume 106, 7 PM East, 4 PM West.
Phone #: 844-6-VOLUME, 844-686-5863
Twitter: @lefsetz or @siriusxmvolume/#lefsetzlive
Hear the episode live on SiriusXM VOLUME: siriusxm.us/HearLefsetzLive
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Tune in tomorrow, Tuesday January 7th, to Volume 106, 7 PM East, 4 PM West.
Phone #: 844-6-VOLUME, 844-686-5863
Twitter: @lefsetz or @siriusxmvolume/#lefsetzlive
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Sunday 5 January 2020
We're The Stars Now
That's right, the hoi polloi, the supposed flyover people, the peanut gallery...WE RULE!
And we have contempt for you if you step out of your lane. We may even have contempt for you if you stay in your lane!
That's what the billionaire backlash is all about.
"Stoking the starmaker machinery
Behind the popular song"
No one is a free man in Paris anymore. Everybody's findable. Just like you! Jeffrey Katzenberg used to say if you don't bother to come in on Saturday, don't even think about coming in on Sunday, at least that's the legend. Today, if you don't answer your e-mail on the weekend, if you don't get back to people right away, you're gonna lose your job. That's what separates today's winners from the losers. Those willing to work 24/7 and those who are not.
Oh, don't give me all this wellness crap. That's just liberal b.s. to deal with future shock. This is the world we live in and we like it! We like the adrenaline hit of our phones buzzing, that means someone cares about us, someone needs us, WE'RE IMPORTANT!
So right now they're televising the Golden Globes. I remember when movie stars were heroes, larger than life. Now they're just actors, propped up by a hype-industrial complex that believes nothing has changed...you know, you hire a publicist to get you into the paper and you've got gravitas. Only today you don't. Because stars aren't made in the papers. As for the print ones, ask the reporters, they're all on Twitter, not wanting to miss a beat.
So there used to be idolmakers. They even made a movie about it. You find someone, even if they're two-dimensional, without talent, and you turn them into a star, you've got all the relationships, you push the button and it happens, at least often enough. But now terrestrial radio is calcified, stars are made on streaming services, the traditional outlets come last. And hell, even Ricky Gervais made a joke about the power of Netflix...yup, I caught that in the news online...do you really think I'm going to sit through all those commercials?
Of course there are young nitwits looking up to pop stars. But that's also why the pop stars have gotten so young. Billie Eilish is their contemporary, not Zach de la Rocha. The young 'uns aren't into the oldsters and the oldsters...they don't know what the hell is up.
So if you raise your head above the fray, if you think you're important...
You're gonna be knocked down.
If you haven't experienced this, you're just not popular enough. That's right, save the planet, create world peace, there are still gonna be haters online giving you grief. They've got power, they've got a microphone, they want you to know if they just got off their asses, they could do it too. And some of them do! Which is why we're inundated with entertainment product online. Remember when the usual suspects bitched that piracy would ruin creativity, that no one would bother to create if they couldn't get paid? Turns out creativity abhors a vacuum. While the oldsters were bitching about recorded music payments the rappers were giving it away for free online and they're now the ones getting paid on streaming services, proving once again if you don't go with the flow, it buries you.
Pete Buttigieg? Getting money from the fat cats? Money can't buy you love. We all believe we're entitled to access, that we're in this together, and if you leave us outside...either we don't care about you or you're gonna pay the price. There was an article in the L.A. "Times" about crashing the Golden Globes. Why? Who cares?
It's kinda like the movie industry doesn't understand we live in an on demand economy, and unless we can have it when we want it, we probably don't need it. I saw "Marriage Story" because it was on Netflix. The rest of the Oscar contenders? Do you expect me to waste that much time, to drive to the theatre, park, endure the trailers and the talk just to see a flick that's probably not that great anyway?
Yup, that's the movie industry, they want to get rid of Rotten Tomatoes! They think it's unfair! Believe me, the public loves it, I live by it, I check the ratings before I watch anything, I don't want to waste my time, I don't want to be duped.
We all know everything. Yup, we're privy to the same information as the fat cats. And if the fat cats want to pull one over on us, we rebel. Which is why the stars with the most dedicated fan bases are those on the so-called periphery, jam bands, Americana, they're accessible to their audience, they don't talk down to them.
So what happens now?
Ratings for awards shows continue to tank. Hell, it's easier just to go online and look up who won rather than endure hours of b.s.
But the truth is all network TV, all real-time TV, is in a bind. That's just not how we live our lives anymore.
And it affects all media.
Despite raising e-book prices to the point they're oftentimes more expensive than hard copies, the truth is e-books are burgeoning at libraries! Just think, you don't have to even leave your home! You look up what's available online and you get it immediately, or queue up for when it becomes available. And the publishers are pissed! They're changing the terms libraries acquire these books at. Then again, they could have gone along with Amazon to begin with, and priced e-books so low people wouldn't bother with the library. If you try and protect your old turf...you lose.
Make America Great Again?
Only by embracing the future. Globalization. People of color.
We're not going backwards baby. You're addicted to your cheap flat screen. Hell, manufacturing is going down in the U.S., despite Trump saying he's going to bring it back.
It's like we're in a giant high school!
And the real stars of the young are not the people they're fed by the machine, but those who make it all on their lonesome, online. Yup, the YouTube stars, the influencers...they're seen as more real, they're accessible.
Sure, the stars of yore still have pull, that's the essence of classic rock.
But they don't make 'em like that anymore. The classic rock stars benefited from the scarcity of product. You were addicted to the radio and you could only buy a few albums. Today? It's a smorgasbord of product, everyone's sampling and if they don't like something they don't play it until they do, they move on!
This is what populism is about. A reaction to the libs who think they know better.
This is what Bernie and Elizabeth are about. They appeal to the young and those left out. And the establishment hates it! The establishment likes to maintain control!
Give the Republicans credit, they rallied around Trump after he won, it's the only way they could maintain power. Yup, it's positively tribal out there, but it's not only Democrat and Republican, it's metal and the rest of the genres. Sure, people graze...but chances are you haven't listened to a metal record in years. It's not the metal of yesterday, you need a secret decoder ring to understand it, and that's just the way that tribe likes it.
So you can build it...
But they may not come.
You may triumph...
And then immediately lose.
Today, if you're not in it for the long haul, don't even bother, just get a straight job and stay out of entertainment. The road is harder than ever. Despite everybody being able to play at little or no cost, it's nearly impossible to gain adherents, i.e. fans. But if you pay your dues and treat your audience right you can gain a living.
Look at the Coachella lineup. The reason most of these acts are not stars is because there's not room for them in today's landscape, and there are so many other options. There can only be a few people we all know. Then again, other than Billie Eilish, who in truth has been in development for years, who else has broken through in the past year? Drake, the rest of today's stars...they made it years ago. And every year is different, change is rampant. And chances are if you're not down in the niche, you've got no idea what's happening in it.
That's another feature of the modern era, you can't get a hold on everything...you can barely get a hold on anything! It's all about your own little life, baby. You're the star of your own movie. Literally! Posting on Instagram and YouTube!
Every year the landscape flattens more. And if you want to jump genres, from one success to another? Good luck! People resent you using your money and relationships to try and do this. That's what people have against Bloomberg, irrelevant of his beliefs, they feel manipulated!
And the only way to be a true star today is to maintain your credibility...don't blow with the wind, don't play for dictators, don't change your beliefs willy-nilly. People still need people to believe in, but today you've got to have a CV, and you must not leave your channel and tell us you know better, BECAUSE YOU DON'T!
--
Visit the archive: http://lefsetz.com/wordpress/
--
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-Apple: https://apple.co/2ndmpvp
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And we have contempt for you if you step out of your lane. We may even have contempt for you if you stay in your lane!
That's what the billionaire backlash is all about.
"Stoking the starmaker machinery
Behind the popular song"
No one is a free man in Paris anymore. Everybody's findable. Just like you! Jeffrey Katzenberg used to say if you don't bother to come in on Saturday, don't even think about coming in on Sunday, at least that's the legend. Today, if you don't answer your e-mail on the weekend, if you don't get back to people right away, you're gonna lose your job. That's what separates today's winners from the losers. Those willing to work 24/7 and those who are not.
Oh, don't give me all this wellness crap. That's just liberal b.s. to deal with future shock. This is the world we live in and we like it! We like the adrenaline hit of our phones buzzing, that means someone cares about us, someone needs us, WE'RE IMPORTANT!
So right now they're televising the Golden Globes. I remember when movie stars were heroes, larger than life. Now they're just actors, propped up by a hype-industrial complex that believes nothing has changed...you know, you hire a publicist to get you into the paper and you've got gravitas. Only today you don't. Because stars aren't made in the papers. As for the print ones, ask the reporters, they're all on Twitter, not wanting to miss a beat.
So there used to be idolmakers. They even made a movie about it. You find someone, even if they're two-dimensional, without talent, and you turn them into a star, you've got all the relationships, you push the button and it happens, at least often enough. But now terrestrial radio is calcified, stars are made on streaming services, the traditional outlets come last. And hell, even Ricky Gervais made a joke about the power of Netflix...yup, I caught that in the news online...do you really think I'm going to sit through all those commercials?
Of course there are young nitwits looking up to pop stars. But that's also why the pop stars have gotten so young. Billie Eilish is their contemporary, not Zach de la Rocha. The young 'uns aren't into the oldsters and the oldsters...they don't know what the hell is up.
So if you raise your head above the fray, if you think you're important...
You're gonna be knocked down.
If you haven't experienced this, you're just not popular enough. That's right, save the planet, create world peace, there are still gonna be haters online giving you grief. They've got power, they've got a microphone, they want you to know if they just got off their asses, they could do it too. And some of them do! Which is why we're inundated with entertainment product online. Remember when the usual suspects bitched that piracy would ruin creativity, that no one would bother to create if they couldn't get paid? Turns out creativity abhors a vacuum. While the oldsters were bitching about recorded music payments the rappers were giving it away for free online and they're now the ones getting paid on streaming services, proving once again if you don't go with the flow, it buries you.
Pete Buttigieg? Getting money from the fat cats? Money can't buy you love. We all believe we're entitled to access, that we're in this together, and if you leave us outside...either we don't care about you or you're gonna pay the price. There was an article in the L.A. "Times" about crashing the Golden Globes. Why? Who cares?
It's kinda like the movie industry doesn't understand we live in an on demand economy, and unless we can have it when we want it, we probably don't need it. I saw "Marriage Story" because it was on Netflix. The rest of the Oscar contenders? Do you expect me to waste that much time, to drive to the theatre, park, endure the trailers and the talk just to see a flick that's probably not that great anyway?
Yup, that's the movie industry, they want to get rid of Rotten Tomatoes! They think it's unfair! Believe me, the public loves it, I live by it, I check the ratings before I watch anything, I don't want to waste my time, I don't want to be duped.
We all know everything. Yup, we're privy to the same information as the fat cats. And if the fat cats want to pull one over on us, we rebel. Which is why the stars with the most dedicated fan bases are those on the so-called periphery, jam bands, Americana, they're accessible to their audience, they don't talk down to them.
So what happens now?
Ratings for awards shows continue to tank. Hell, it's easier just to go online and look up who won rather than endure hours of b.s.
But the truth is all network TV, all real-time TV, is in a bind. That's just not how we live our lives anymore.
And it affects all media.
Despite raising e-book prices to the point they're oftentimes more expensive than hard copies, the truth is e-books are burgeoning at libraries! Just think, you don't have to even leave your home! You look up what's available online and you get it immediately, or queue up for when it becomes available. And the publishers are pissed! They're changing the terms libraries acquire these books at. Then again, they could have gone along with Amazon to begin with, and priced e-books so low people wouldn't bother with the library. If you try and protect your old turf...you lose.
Make America Great Again?
Only by embracing the future. Globalization. People of color.
We're not going backwards baby. You're addicted to your cheap flat screen. Hell, manufacturing is going down in the U.S., despite Trump saying he's going to bring it back.
It's like we're in a giant high school!
And the real stars of the young are not the people they're fed by the machine, but those who make it all on their lonesome, online. Yup, the YouTube stars, the influencers...they're seen as more real, they're accessible.
Sure, the stars of yore still have pull, that's the essence of classic rock.
But they don't make 'em like that anymore. The classic rock stars benefited from the scarcity of product. You were addicted to the radio and you could only buy a few albums. Today? It's a smorgasbord of product, everyone's sampling and if they don't like something they don't play it until they do, they move on!
This is what populism is about. A reaction to the libs who think they know better.
This is what Bernie and Elizabeth are about. They appeal to the young and those left out. And the establishment hates it! The establishment likes to maintain control!
Give the Republicans credit, they rallied around Trump after he won, it's the only way they could maintain power. Yup, it's positively tribal out there, but it's not only Democrat and Republican, it's metal and the rest of the genres. Sure, people graze...but chances are you haven't listened to a metal record in years. It's not the metal of yesterday, you need a secret decoder ring to understand it, and that's just the way that tribe likes it.
So you can build it...
But they may not come.
You may triumph...
And then immediately lose.
Today, if you're not in it for the long haul, don't even bother, just get a straight job and stay out of entertainment. The road is harder than ever. Despite everybody being able to play at little or no cost, it's nearly impossible to gain adherents, i.e. fans. But if you pay your dues and treat your audience right you can gain a living.
Look at the Coachella lineup. The reason most of these acts are not stars is because there's not room for them in today's landscape, and there are so many other options. There can only be a few people we all know. Then again, other than Billie Eilish, who in truth has been in development for years, who else has broken through in the past year? Drake, the rest of today's stars...they made it years ago. And every year is different, change is rampant. And chances are if you're not down in the niche, you've got no idea what's happening in it.
That's another feature of the modern era, you can't get a hold on everything...you can barely get a hold on anything! It's all about your own little life, baby. You're the star of your own movie. Literally! Posting on Instagram and YouTube!
Every year the landscape flattens more. And if you want to jump genres, from one success to another? Good luck! People resent you using your money and relationships to try and do this. That's what people have against Bloomberg, irrelevant of his beliefs, they feel manipulated!
And the only way to be a true star today is to maintain your credibility...don't blow with the wind, don't play for dictators, don't change your beliefs willy-nilly. People still need people to believe in, but today you've got to have a CV, and you must not leave your channel and tell us you know better, BECAUSE YOU DON'T!
--
Visit the archive: http://lefsetz.com/wordpress/
--
Listen to the podcast:
-iHeart: https://ihr.fm/2Gi5PFj
-Apple: https://apple.co/2ndmpvp
--
http://www.twitter.com/lefsetz
--
If you would like to subscribe to the LefsetzLetter,
http://www.lefsetz.com/lists/?p=subscribe&id=1
If you do not want to receive any more LefsetzLetters, http://lefsetz.com/lists/?p=unsubscribe&uid=0eecea7b60b461717065cbde887c8e25
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