Saturday 6 April 2013

Southwest Airlines

It's like going to school.

Back in the olden days, when everybody went to public school, except for the privileged few who prepped and the Catholics with their parallel education system, we were all in it together. Nobody had better shoes, nobody flew to Europe for the weekend, we lived in an egalitarian society, everybody was equal.

Those days are through.

But if everybody was forced to take Southwest Airlines, if there were no private jets and no first class, America would become a better place.

It's such a different vibe. From the people who check you in to the colloquial flight attendants, everybody seems to like their job and to be having fun. Makes me proud to be an American.

Once upon a time Southwest Airlines only flew in the Southwest and was cheaper than its competitors. Now, Southwest can cost top buck. But you still get two bags free, and peanuts and crackers. Hell, they're not worried about allergies on Southwest. Yup, you few with your peanut phobias made it so the rest of us could never eat nuts at 30,000 feet ever again. That's modern America. Wherein one person gets to spoil it for everybody. One person gets hurt on the playground? They remove the monkey bars. One person writes a letter to the television network? They cancel the show. That's what ruined network TV, the lack of edge, which exists on cable. Because the network producers are too afraid to piss anybody off.

And at Southwest someone realized if you print your boarding pass at home, they don't need to reprint it when you check in. I've never figured that out. Why do I need to replace my paper with yours? Why do you need to put it in a little blue jacket? Furthermore, why do I need my ticket once I'm on board? Yup, when you check in at the gate, get on the plane, the attendant takes your boarding pass and never gives it back!

Then again, it's open seating on Southwest.

Oh, I know, you can pay extra to get on first these days.

But what I love is lining up. It's just like in elementary school. All types and sizes in it together. You do it by number, no ad infinitum instructions are necessary. That's the bane of the frequent flier, the endless repetition of nonsense, like not to leave your bag unattended. Hey! In today's fearful society, where you can't let your kid walk two blocks to school alone, do you really think people are going to leave their bags unattended? So they can get ripped off?

Never gonna happen.

And there are other little things. Like no drink cart.

You know the drill. You're in the front of the plane, not the real front, but the steerage front. And they start wheeling the drink cart down the aisle and you make a run for the bathroom, because if you don't you're gonna have to hold it in, despite there being a loo up front. No, even though it's unoccupied, that's for FIRST CLASS!

Well, almost no airline has first class anymore, only business class. For the rich and well-traveled to keep away from the great unwashed.

I like the wider seat when I can get it, but am I really any better than the people in back?

Anyway, on Southwest, the attendant takes your drink order and returns with cups on a tray, so the aisle is not blocked. Why no other airline has replicated this is beyond me.

And of course there's the famous Southwest banter. Hell, almost no one likes to fly, why not make it as pleasant as we can for the few hours we're up in the air.

The attendants at the other airlines? They're snarly, certainly the ones in back. It's like they don't want to be there and you're an inconvenience. I don't know whether they hate the airline or their job or both, but even asking a question, never mind asking for more of anything, always gets their dander up.

But the seats were uncomfortable and the pitch was godawful.

Pitch is the space between seats, i.e. legroom. If you're a six-footer, good luck.

Then again, the seats are all made for six footers, there's no lumbar support if you're any shorter. Then again, the seats were new, whereas even in business on American the metal creeps through the padding and your rear end hurts.

I don't know what happened to our country. Class is evident everywhere. Hell, not even the upper middle class send their kids to public school anymore. And the religious zealots don't want to pay for it. And if you go to the public school you oftentimes get a second-rate education. Whereas the privates are all about enrichment and the parents read to their kids and they end up at Ivies and rule the world.

But even if they don't go to college, the progeny of the rich never slum with the poor. Because income tax rates are so low, and "death taxes" are so low (because we're saving the theoretical family farm, even though none have ever been lost to inheritance taxes), we've got a whole class of nitwits who live like kings with nothing to back it up but their parents' money.

I know, I know, that's the American Dream, to get ahead.

But once upon a time, getting ahead meant driving a Cadillac and going on vacation to Florida. Now the rich don't even fly with the rest of us and the average person has got no idea where they vacation. As for their homes, they're behind locked gates.

Whereas on Southwest Airlines we're all in it together. We line up based on when we checked in and we're forced to all sit in the same class next to people we don't know who we might not even speak to if we weren't in such close proximity.

Furthermore, unlike the rest of the airline industry, Southwest makes money, it hasn't gone bankrupt.

Which begs the question... Is this the way to run America? Putting us all together as opposed to keeping us apart?

There's hostility on most flights. You see the holier than thou briefcase crowd, the designer dressers. But on Southwest, there's no attitude. It's a true democracy. Very instructional.

P.S. It's the little things that count. Whereas in music we're always looking to take away what we once gave, kinda like Southwest's competitors, who charge for bags and would charge to pee if they could. Just because everybody's doing it the same way, that does not mean you can't break the rules. But the music business is like the airline business. Lost in the past. Hobbled by legacy. Always asking for mercy. An industry hated by the public, that it endures to get somewhere or hear great music.


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Friday 5 April 2013

Rhinofy-Deguello

I didn't think I liked ZZ Top.

I think it was their record company. By this time, London had outlived all usefulness, it seemed to be the last stop for those who couldn't get signed to Warner Brothers, never mind Columbia or RCA. But I was prey to the hype, like touring with farm animals. Yes, it seemed too Texas, but it also displayed a sense of humor, something usually absent from boogie frat rock.

Oh, of course I knew "Tush" and "La Grange," the same way I knew all those Foghat tunes that were played incessantly every Saturday night on KMET and KLOS. But then something strange happened, I realized I LOVED Foghat... Suddenly, instead of pushing the button, you find yourself singing along with "Slow Ride," "Fool For The City" and "Stone Blue" and you start testifying to all your intellectual friends how fantastic they are...hell, I STILL think they're fantastic!

Just like Foghat had to emerge from the shadows of the inferior Savoy Brown, once ZZ Top paid their dues and finished their contract with London, they actually signed a deal with Warner Brothers and I was immediately hooked by an album that didn't burn up the chart like what came before and what came after, but made me a fan.

The opening track was the hook, the one made to convert us, a cover of the classic Sam & Dave track "I Thank You." Only one problem, Bonnie Raitt beat them to market with a cover of the same damn track for the same damn label. Huh?

And ZZ Top had never relied on covers before, but there was something about this rendition of the classic soul track. The way it was understated, the way it was stuck in the Rio Grande mud... It wasn't like they were playing for a hit on the radio, but that you'd stumbled upon them in an out of the way bar, where they were laying down this sexy groove that got all the girls in low-slung jeans to bump and grind and as you sipped your beer you told yourself...I like this, this is all right!

But the most famous song off "Deguello" is "Cheap Sunglasses." "I Thank You" burned out on AOR pretty fast, but "Cheap Sunglasses" embedded itself on radio stations and never left, it's a staple. And you think you can resist its magic, and then it breaks down a bit after a minute in and goes off wandering into territory that's got nothing to do with boogie, that almost verges on jazz, and you find yourself nodding your head and becoming enamored. Magic is rarely formula, it's delivered when you confound our expectations.

And while we're on the second side, and we loved our albums because there were two bites at the apple, two completely different experiences, once you purchased the album and played it incessantly you came to love "Lowdown In The Street," which seems almost like a Bad Company track except for that rock solid muddy groove, you could hear the BBQ and the pork rinds, and that subtle but yet so right guitar work. ZZ Top are white, but they ooze soul.

But really, it's all about the first side.

Like "A Fool For Your Stockings." Talk about an album track! Once upon a time albums were not made for radio, oh, a few cuts were, but the heart and soul was made to be experienced on your couch in your living room. If you can listen to "A Fool For Your Stockings" and not nod your head, you're dead.

And then there's the second cut, what follows the opener, the aforementioned "I Thank You," "She Loves My Automobile"... Boogie rock, with a sense of humor and truth.

Still, the piece de resistance is "I'm Bad, I'm Nationwide," that's what closed me, that's what made me a ZZ Top fan, what got me into the band before "Gimme All Your Lovin'" and the rest of the tracks from "Eliminator" closed the rest of the world.

It's the stuttering intro. Oh come on, don't you love it? And then the way Billy starts to wail!

But really it's the lyrics...

"Well I was rollin' down the road in some cold blue steel
I had a bluesman in the back and a beautician at the wheel"

Huh? A BEAUTICIAN? I don't think I've ever heard that in a song before!

"We going downtown in the middle of the night
We laughing and I'm jokin' and we feelin' all right"

EUREKA! THAT'S IT!

That's why life works. You don't have to be rich, you don't have to be famous, you've just got to have some friends, a machine, some gas and some alcohol, and then you're LIVING!

I used to live this life. To the point I had to give it up. I was in search of the best night of my life, and when you start doing that multiple nights of the week...

Still, I loved it, the camaraderie, the laughs, the risk-taking, the good times.

"Oh, I'm bad, I'm nationwide
Yes, I'm bad, I'm nationwide"

HYSTERICAL! That's how you feel! Leonardo DiCaprio may have poked out from the front of the Titanic and said he was king of the world, but that didn't ring as true as the lines from this song. Yes, when your life is firing on all cylinders, when you're surrounded by friends, having a good time, you truly feel bad, YOU'RE NATIONWIDE!

And it just gets better from there, with lines about spike-heel shoes, Lucky Strikes and nylons too. The gold tooth! No winners in "Businessweek" sport one, but the hustlers and pimps think they make them attractive. This is the underbelly of life.

But the real story is as much as we try to climb above, we can all relate to being human, not special, just part of the fabric.

I heard "I'm Bad, I'm Nationwide" on the radio and was infected. Every time I went to my friend's house in Huntington Beach I had to play it. Eventually I had to have my own copy.

And all these years later Billy F. Gibbons is my friend. AND HE'S THAT GUY! Smart, but in the groove, just like ZZ Top's music.

Spotify link: http://spoti.fi/p6HcZ8

Previous Rhinofy playlists: http://www.rhinofy.com/lefsetz


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Thursday 4 April 2013

Benji From PledgeMusic

We've got great tools. But too much mediocre music.

My goal is to get you to give up. If you're a musician, I want you to stop. Oh, practice and play, be my guest. But please stop tweeting and Facebooking, keep stop trying to make it, you're clogging the avenues, trying to uncover today's great new music is like deciding to drive from Santa Monica to Staples Center during rush hour, essentially impossible. Not everyone qualifies to be a Navy Seal, hell, did you read the article in the "New York Times" delineating that both women and men have a hard time qualifying for the Marine Infantry? (http://nyti.ms/11YQo8n) Why do you think you should be able to be a successful musician. Desire is not everything, talent counts. Read the "Times" story about the hell they put these recruits through. If only we had a similar boot camp in the music business. Instead, we've got organizations like Sonicbids that prey on the wannabes, telling them they're just an inch away from making it, when nothing could be further from the truth.

Benji Rogers used to be a musician. But he back-burnered his playing, he just couldn't make it work, he started PledgeMusic. All those techies coming up with solutions, that's a hell of a lot easier than writing hit tunes.

Can we have some reality here? And state that writing hits is nearly impossible?

You might deplore Dr. Luke, but he's talented. As are Max Martin and Diane Warren. They might release formulaic material, but they've paid their dues, they've worked really hard, have you? And even if you have, does practicing on the sandlot mean you're entitled to play shortstop for the Yankees? Even better, if you're 5'3", can you realistically expect to crack the NBA? Of course there's Muggsy Bogues, there have been exceptions, but one or two, and everybody seems to want to make it in music.

I'm just saying that with everybody trying it's making it more difficult for those who truly have talent and confusing the audience.

I love Benji. He's a natural salesman. You want to go to dinner, talk about your girlfriend, you want to hang. That's rare with successful musicians. Household name musicians are introverted, pains in the ass. Hell, I know a bunch and they're all far from normal. This is oftentimes the only thing they can do. They practiced to get laid and have a career. Are you truly that maladjusted? Are you willing to endure rejection, starve, and keep going at it? Knowing that the odds are you won't make it and if you do it won't sustain?

You can't handle the truth. You think since you own a computer you're entitled to success. But that's untrue.

PledgeMusic, Kickstarter, Indiegogo...they don't solve the basic problem. Which is discovering and nurturing new talent. Benji told me the story of a talented artist who now has 500 pledgers on his third album? Five hundred? If I reached that few people with these missives, I'd give up. Hell, I'd give up with ten times that number.

If you're an established act, these crowdfunding sites are brilliant, you can reach your fans, make your music and own your masters. But if you're a wannabe, please don't think that anybody's gonna care other than your hard core fans.

Benji told me 46 acts have gotten deals as a result of their success on PledgeMusic. The labels track the campaigns. But how many got major deals? Maybe ten. How many of those had deals before? Maybe four. Huh? Be satisfied ANYBODY gives you money on these sites. Because that's all you're gonna get.

And then Benji told me about prospective partnerships with labels. This is where I got scared, this is where I wondered if he was doing the tech pivot, looking for more money. So I fund it and then the label takes 70% of my money to blow it up? Huh? If I'm that good, shouldn't I be able to do it myself? Where's the improvement on the old system? Now I do all the work and I STILL get screwed?

But having said all that, Benji convinced me he's selling experiences. That it's not about the end result, the album, so much as the ongoing relationship you get to have with your favorites. Hell, I'd pay for that. Almost everybody would. I want private updates from people whose music changed my life. Unfortunately, that doesn't include you, sorry.

You tell PledgeMusic you want to play. You give them your data, Facebook friends, Twitter followers and e-mail list, and they tell you how much you can raise. Then, after getting your money, they insist you update constantly, with blog posts, videos and music. Stuff that can only be shared with those who pledge. Well, of course, everything can be captured and stolen online, but Benji says this is not a problem, because people don't want to steal from the artists they're giving money to. I'll go with that, for the sake of discussion.

So you're building community.

Very slowly if you're not already famous.

And here we hit that classic dilemma. It's those who were built by the majors who have the biggest success outside the system. Those without the initial investment stumble.

Except for Alabama Shakes.

What did Alabama Shakes have that none of the other wannabes had?

GOOD MUSIC!

Come on, someone e-mailed you that live video of "Hold On" and you got it.

Is your music that good?

Seems like no one else's is, there's not been another Alabama Shakes since.

We're ready, we want it, but we've been waiting for a new Beatles for nearly half a century and it's never happened. Hell, we'd settle for a new Dave Clark 5!

Benji's so good you get caught up in the reality distortion field. But it's not about systems, it's not about tools, it's about MUSIC!

And it's really damn hard to learn and even harder to do well to the point that masses of people are interested.

We don't have an algorithm problem. We don't even have a tool problem.

We've got a music problem.

Used to be only the best and the brightest got deals and made it. As for those excluded unjustly from the system, hogwash. How about all the acts that got signed and still didn't make it, despite putting out good music?

But then the label mentality changed. It became solely about the money, as a result of the CD and MTV riches and banker envy. And everybody got the tools and decided they were entitled to success. Hell, blame baby boomer parents, who never told their progeny the truth, that they were normal, average.

And there's nothing wrong with being average. Being a productive member of society, being a good worker, spouse and parent. But please don't confuse this with being a musical star.

Hell, how many stars still have the same spouse? How many are good parents?

These are not normal people living normal lives. They're staying up all hours of the night, they're doing drugs, they're irresponsible, but the tunes they create are magic.

But they're rare.

Sorry to break the news.

P.S. And you wonder why everybody in the business is jaded. Because we're inundated by the crap of the wannabes ad infinitum. That's why we won't listen. Blame your brethren, not us. The only difference between me and everybody else is I'm telling you the truth.


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Wednesday 3 April 2013

Using YouTube

FREQUENCY

You cannot win if you do not play. (Did you catch the Steve Forbert reference?) Don't be afraid. Dip not only your toe in the water, but your whole body. Reluctance is so last century. You've got to create on a regular basis. Once a week at least, once a day is totally fine. Don't think of it as reaching people, but working out your kinks. It's the beginning of your 10,000 hours. The cycle is so fast these days, and everybody's so overwhelmed with input and time-limited, that your lame work will go unnoticed, the way the "Harlem Shake" is already history. As for people discovering your lame-o's down the line, you should only be so lucky!

WHAT

Everything. Originals, cover tunes. Acoustic versions of electric tunes. Electric versions of acoustic tunes. With unlimited bandwidth, you are not restricted. Studio time used to be expensive, you demoed and oftentimes got it wrong in the recording, whether because you were uptight or unduly influenced by a producer. Your goal is to get comfortable in front of the camera. And to keep experimenting until you find something that works. The record industry has got it totally wrong, it thinks it's about perfection when truly it's all about warts. You want to first and foremost be relatable, embrace your imperfections and mistakes.

GOING VIRAL

Don't chase the dragon. Because it's hard to follow up, just ask Alanis Morissette. You think you want overnight success, but you really don't. You want the gradual build, you want fans to embrace you, to become invested in you. If you have overnight success, once it's done, you're toast. Can you say "Rebecca Black"? That does not mean you shouldn't follow what works. If a certain style of video gains viewers, repeat the formula. Marketing is not about being on every platform, screaming your way into people's hearts, or not. Rather marketing is about research, taking chances and seeing what works and refining it and following it up.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A MUSICIAN

Wake up. If you don't want to practice, if you'd rather surf the net and make videos than be holed up alone in your basement being bad, then note that there's more than one road to fame. That's the dirty little secret of today's wannabes, they don't want to be musicians, they just want to be famous. On YouTube you can let your freak flag fly, go for it.

BE CREATIVE

The punks couldn't play. Ah, that's a bit of a lie, but the Ramones were all about the conception, the Sex Pistols too. Rather than imitate what's on the radio, think about being unique. And don't be afraid to follow your instincts and stay with them. You're nobody until you're somebody.

RADIO

You can't get on it. Not unless you're signed to a major label and make Top Forty music. So forget the radio, YouTube is your radio. As it is for the younger generation. Did you see the NPD report? I don't trust research, it's inherently flawed, but if you're the kind of person who needs numbers to confirm what's right in front of your face, I hope you saw the NPD report that said Internet radio accounted for 23% of 13-35 year olds' listening time, up from 17% last year, and AM/FM dropped two points to 24%. The Internet already won, the only people who don't know it are the old farts, who listen to the Internet 13% of the time and AM/FM 41%. It couldn't be written any clearer. Until record labels are run by twenty year olds, they will continue to tumble into darkness, they'll get the message last.

PRETTY

That's not the only way to engage viewers. Charismatic is even better. You can display your whole identity in a YouTube clip. You can try on other identities. You're not limited to sound. Today's stars are not two-dimensional, they display every facet of their identity. Do it if you want to last.

LASTING

The faster the ascent, the faster the descent.

CAREER

Don't equate YouTube success with a career. Just like those old sitcom stars can't get arrested (actually, they do, their mugshots are all over the web), YouTube fame is evanescent, here today and gone tomorrow. Just because you've got a million views, that does not mean you should drop out of school, you'll probably never get a million views again.

MUSIC

Singles are obvious, but singles rarely lead to a career. More cerebral music, which takes longer to identify with and spread, leads to careers. So if you're interested in a career, get ready to be frustrated. You're going to grow very slowly. But now, you're building a catalog on YouTube, and you own it!

ROAD

That's the mantra, go on the road, prove it and earn it fan by fan. The only problem is there's nowhere to play. Screw fighting for opening slots to play to twelve people who don't care. If you catch fire on YouTube, the whole world is your potential audience. Sure, if you get traction, you'll eventually have to go on the road and develop your chops. But Bieber broke on YouTube, not in a damp, dark clubs. Sure, it's great if you've built a road base. But that's for old farts and hippie bands. Today's youngsters know it's all about being connected. And you connect online. That's where you start. Offline comes LAST!

ORGANIC

Don't dun your friends to spread the word. You're gonna burn them out before you've even figured out what it is you're doing. Better to woodshed and then when your avocation comes up in conversation on the couch, in a bar, pull up your phone or laptop and show people what you're doing, they'll be interested, and if you're good, they'll spread the word. Would you go to a club sans shower and the appropriate clothing? Of course not! Then why would you expect your substandard video to go viral!

MONEY

It's there. And it's all yours. It depends on views. If you're truly mercenary, focus on getting subscribers. Who'll watch everything you do. But don't worry about fans until you truly have something clickworthy.

EQUIPMENT

You've got a smartphone, right? That's all you need. Some of the best records of all time were cut live to tape with mistakes in place. Capture lightning in a bottle. Ever see two identical lightning bolts? Hell, you can't even remember how every one looked! You just remember the emotional experience, how you felt when you saw them and heard the resultant thunder. That's the business you're in, connecting with people emotionally. And that's all about letting loose and taking chances.

THE MODEL

This is the new model. Forget everything you once knew. Albums, cycles, they're totally toast. An artist today is constantly creating and constantly in the public eye. He doesn't bitch that he can't sell records, that the old model is broken, rather he explores the new avenues where money is available to be made. Piracy? Rip-offs? Imitation? That's your greatest desire! Content ID will make it so you profit off all the imitators who cover your music! You don't want to hold it close to the vest, you want to open it up to everybody. Which reminds me, ALWAYS SAY YES! You're gonna get ripped-off anyway. The courts are an expensive and slow way to protect rights you probably can't. If there are no barriers to piracy, let people do what they want. This does not mean you can't sell tracks, can't profit from streaming, but if you think you're in control of your work today, you don't have a fan base. Your efforts are just fodder, starter material for others to bake their own bread. They'll give you credit if you don't antagonize them. And they'll give you their money too. People like to pay those they believe in. Foster belief and you'll get paid. Phony is history, like the deejays on terrestrial radio, if you're playing to everybody, afraid to offend anyone, you're playing to nobody. You want viewers, you want fans, make it easy, don't put up barriers.


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Re-It's A Long Way There

From: Graeham Goble
Subject: It's A Long Way There - Little River Band

Hi Bob.

I read, with great interest, your blog on my song 'It's A Long Way There'.

I wrote it on June 2nd, 1972, almost 40 years ago! Time certainly has gone fast.

I was in my 20s and I had just left my home town of Adelaide, to pursue a music career in Melbourne. I was having a difficult time emotionally, with missing home, but I was very aware that the JOURNEY I was taking was my destiny. These were my first, tentative steps into a new and unfamiliar World. I didn't want to leave my home town of Adelaide, but I knew it was something I had to do. I was very anxious and I missed my home enormously. For the first few months, I used to travel back to Adelaide (9 hours by car), every 3 weeks to see my family, and have home cooked food! It took a long time for me to let go.

The idea for "It's A Long Way There" came from that 9 hour road trip I used to make. I realised much later though that there was something deeper within the words. And looking back on it now, it was a premonition of where life was taking me... I'm glad I listened!

It's one of those records that still sounds great even today. I think that has a lot to do with the guys who played on it. We were doing 8 gigs a week those days. So when we went into the recording studio we were so well rehearsed we could just focus on the performance. We recorded it live, including the guitar solo work by Ric Formosa... just overdubbing the string section and vocals. (I remember cutting the vocals at 3 a.m.). Each take we did was a little under 9mins long, and there was no Pro Tools back then, so you had to get it right! Of course, today, with Technology, you wouldn't try for the whole band having to get everything right at the same time, but there was a magic to the way LRB used to record... it was like the collective energy in the room was the 7th player. You can definitely hear that in the record.

That was 1975 and now, in 2013, LRB is still touring the US, but sadly with NO original members. Through a bizarre legal situation, the original members have lost the rights to our 'Little River Band' name and Trademark. But even though we've lost the right to call ourselves Little River Band, it's good to know our songs still live on!

Thanks again Bob.

Sincerely,

Graeham Goble
Founding member of Little River Band
www.graehamgoble.com

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Tuesday 2 April 2013

End Of Night

Maybe they were spending too much time on Justin Timberlake...

Late last night I broke the shrinkwrap on a pair of Sennheiser MM 100's. I've been evaluating headphones, and nothing came close to my old PMX 60's until these. You know that feeling when what's pouring into your ears is music? Not that bottom-heavy compressed sludge, but a sound that is expansive, that breathes, that makes you feel positively alive?

That's what I'm experiencing.

All my old tracks sound new again. I dialed up my favorites on my phone and...it was just me and the sound, I had a smile on my face, I was a BELIEVER!

Forget Beats. Forget fake response curves. What we're looking for is accuracy. And warmth. The music needs no tricks if it's real.

And I'm going through all my old favorites, Wendy Waldman, Bonnie Raitt, stunned how close to vinyl they sound, streamed via Bluetooth, from Spotify to my ears and...I decide to check out MOG, since they say it sounds better.

And that's where I saw Dido.

Did you know she has a new album out?

I bet not. Her album didn't even sell 20,000 copies this week. It entered way down the chart.

And I'd be lying if I told you it was a rival to her first two, but it is a return to form, from the Jon Brion abortion she perpetrated upon us back in 2008. I don't understand the adulation for Mr. Brion, everybody he works with does worse work than they did before. So he's talented, SO WHAT?

And there are nods to today, with rappers, most especially Kendrick Lamar, and the opening cut, the single, doesn't resonate, but track two is vintage Dido, "Girl Who Got Away" brings tears to my eyes. She may be beautiful, but deep inside she's me. And that's when music works best, not when the "artists" talk down to us, but when they reveal all their insecurities and warts and let us know...they may not be exactly just like us, but they're just as screwed up.

That's the dirty little secret of human beings. We're flawed. The most beautiful model, she's as poorly adjusted as you are. If everybody stopped saying how fabulous they are maybe kids wouldn't shoot up schools, if they learned that everyone's alienated, everyone's got more questions than answers.

And you see that in "Girl Who Got Away," I heard it the very first time through.

But nothing else jumped out from the album.

I don't get it, we had to wait five years for more Dido tunes? Why couldn't she have dribbled one out every other month or so? It would have kept me going back to her website, it would have kept her in the loop.

And I'm a bit flummoxed, a bit unsure whether it's thumbs up or down on the album, so I decide to do research, go to iTunes and Amazon and see what the fans are saying. And it's mostly positive, but there are skeptics. And I don't want to be on the wrong side of history, yes, you can stick your neck out and get your head chopped off these days, it takes a strong person to go against the tide of public opinion.

And then I'm listening to the album the third or fourth time through and a track jumps out..."End Of Night."

I got addicted to Dido via radio. Driving my mother's Lexus back in '03 when "White Flag" was all over Top Forty and Hot AC. I could ignore her when she got her initial burst of fame as a result of Eminem's use of "Thank You" in "Stan," but now I just could not get enough. "Sand In My Shoes" could be my favorite track of the last decade. I went to see her live, and she less than killed, her voice is so thin, but the records are so perfect, not made for everybody, just for me. That's their magic, they're not playing to the last row, but you alone. Whew! I love her! And I've never even met her!

So I'm answering e-mail and I hear this mellifluous tune in my ears and I say EUREKA! THIS IS THE TRACK!

And I go to Dido's website and find out it's the second single. The opening cut, "No Freedom," is the initial track. Huh? It's not a hit! You've got to lead with your best shot these days. No matter how hard the RCA team works, they can't make "No Freedom" a hit.

But "End Of Night"... Now that Top Forty is not solely the province of beats, there just might be an open door. It's not Gotye, it's not "Ho Hey," it's not novelty, but "End Of Night" is so RIGHT!

"I feel nothing
When you cry
I hear nothing
See no need to reply"

They always ask forgiveness. I don't believe in it. Of course for minor transgressions, but when they're lying, cheating scumbags I'm shaken to the core. I'm a PERSON! I know you've got desires, I know you've got your unhappiness, but don't you know you're hurting my feelings, that I will never recover from this? I used to be a trusting person, but after my divorce I became gun-shy. What exactly is your motivation? You can say anything, but is it true? Can I count on you?

And you know what happens? We end up counting on NOTHING AND NOBODY!

That's the dirty little secret of getting older. The attrition. The bad experiences that make it so you circle the wagons around yourself. We baby boomers are all free, but we're all screwed up, we were sold a bill of goods, we were told it was better to follow our desires than honor commitments.

Then again, too many enter commitments on a whim.

So what you've got is a guy who's pushing sixty who trusts inert objects more than human beings. They've got no agenda. They're frozen. I can wrap my ears and arms around them and salve my wounds.

"I can smile now
And turn away
Come over here
So you can see me walk away"

I get it. But I don't believe it. You can never get them out of your brain, can never forget that you used to lie together, physically and emotionally connected. The burns eventually cause you to separate physically, but inside you still long for the other person. Don't believe conventional wisdom, you never get over ANYBODY you have sex with. They're stuck to you, in some weird twist on DNA.

I go through life living too much in the past, the way it once was, when I still had my hopes and dreams and the healthy body of a twenty year old.

But those days are gone.

And I won't put my faith in false goods, false answers, false gods. Everybody tells me to lower my standards and embrace that which is nowhere near as good as what came before. We're living in a golden age of television, but music is a vast wasteland of substandard goods that everybody touts as great because the young are too ignorant to know what they missed.

And then something reaches my ears and rekindles my faith. Makes me want to live forever. To see what comes next. I'm optimistic. Sinews start to reform my trust. I don't want to go to sleep and can't wait to get up in the morning. I can't wait to embrace and eat up life.

That's the power of a hit record.

And a hit is not something the record company runs up the chart that we listen to for a few months and forget, no, a hit record is something that attaches itself to you and infects you like a virus, something that can't be shaken, that lives with you forever. Sure, the initial wonderment wears off, but every time you hear the cut it still works, because of its juicy essence and the way it affects you.

And to tell you the truth, "Girl Who Got Away" affects me this way more.

But "Girl Who Got Away" is missing something. It needs another ten or fifteen percent, despite its phenomenal sound and lyrics. Whereas "End Of Night" is fully baked, which is why I'm telling you about it now.

Don't dial it up and tell me you're a punk, don't let me know about your tattoos and piercings, deep inside you're just like me, little Tommy or Julie on the playground, your look is just an affectation, you're wearing your alienation as a badge to ward the rest of us away. But the satisfaction and satiation arrives from coming a little bit closer.

If only I could catch you on a late night drive. Slip "End Of Night" in the stream coming out of your speakers. Then you'd get it.

You see, when done right, music brings us together, with the artist and the other listeners who get it. That's the job of the radio station, of the curator, to find tracks that hit us emotionally, touch something that can't be described, which is the essence of human life and connection.

That's what's in "End Of Night."

Come on, celebrate! It's the "End Of Night"!

"I feel nothing
When you cry
I hear nothing
See no need to reply
I can smile now
And turn away
Come over here
So you can see me walk away
And celebrate
The end of night
THE END OF NIGHT!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfWDBJ_LeP0


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Bedford Shoe & Luggage Repair

The handle on my suitcase broke.

Whom to blame? The taxi driver who extracted it from the well of his minivan, or the baggage handlers at American Airlines, or was it just wear and tear? I want answers! Every problem must be solved! And if you live your life that way you get stuck in the past and never move forward.

So it comes down to repair. But where to go?

Felice has got this guy in the Valley. I called, but he's out of the "office" until Wednesday, and I'm leaving town again on Saturday, which is a short enough window to begin with, so I took to the Internet.

I can't remember what I Googled, maybe "luggage repair Santa Monica," but I ended up on Yelp, and Bedford Shoe & Luggage Repair came up first. I dialed the number. But it was 6:02 and they were already gone. So maybe I'd go with the number two hit. Nah... Half a star might not make a difference, but when I see a negative review right near the top... I saved the web page for Bedford and decided to call in the morning. Which I did. And I proffered my problem. Could he fix it?

I had to bring it into the shop.

Which reminds me of my favorite repair joke of all time. In the back of "MAD" magazine. There was a cigar-chomping repairman delivering a bill for the repair of Telstar, which those under the age of forty might be clueless as to the identity of, but baby boomers know as one of the initial satellites, the one that got all the press. And the government employee is staggered by the billion dollar bill, cheap today, I know, but back then no individual had a billion, the price was stratospheric! And the repairman said...I HAD TO TAKE IT INTO THE SHOP!

I thought that was hilarious. I still remember it. The best jokes, like the best songs, you always do.

So after running some errands in Santa Monica, I journeyed east of the 405, which took nearly half an hour, because of the construction, which on one hand I approve of, but why is it taking so long? Remember those incentives that got the bridge rebuilt so fast in San Francisco after the '89 earthquake? Why can't they have them for L.A.'s most traveled freeway?

And after getting a spot on the street, I journeyed inside the aforementioned Bedford Shoe & Luggage Repair, where Sam Goli, I saw his name on the wall, asked him if he was the owner after our transaction, started to dissect my suitcase.

Who knew there was a zipper that removed the lining?

Sam.

Who knew that the loose plate was associated with the trolley handle?

Sam.

You get the point, I was clueless.

Then again, we all are. Back in the sixties, you knew how cars worked, you had to. But then fuel injection replaced carburetion and computers invaded the engine compartment and suddenly, automobiles never left you stranded and you had no idea what made them run. Hell, you don't even have to insert the key in many modern cars! Why even bother to join the AAA, with maps on your phone and no towing necessary?

Fifty bucks. For the brackets on both sides of the handle. And if that didn't do it, seventy five bucks for a handle too.

Huh?

I don't think this suitcase even cost me $200. I bought it in 2007. It's served me well. Was it time to retire it?

But that would require research and a trip to the luggage store and I was right here, right now, sure!

Never underestimate the price of gas. And last time I checked, they weren't making any more time. That's what I'd like back from the last century, some of that time I wasted!

So Sam got out his drill and I held the suitcase at an angle, and he performed surgery right then. It was a miracle! He fixed my suitcase! Hell, he even did extra work, rooting the free-floating trolley plate with a screw. And then he asked me if I wanted a new pull. You know, you fly and the little tab that allows you to run the zipper outside the case breaks off, well, he'd put a new one on for ten bucks.

Ten bucks?

Well, it doesn't pay to go halfway.

And as I whip out my credit card, I'm thinking how repair is a lost art. But maybe it should be, since every time I get something fixed, it breaks down soon thereafter, you're usually better off buying new. But there's such extreme satisfaction in rescuing the past, in keeping something you've become attached to functioning. I asked Sam, how did he learn to do this?

He'd been fixing since he was a tyke. He reclaimed garbage, he'd built his own bike from remnants. He'd put in thirty five years, this was his calling.

And as I exited the shop I wasn't sure I'd made the economically sound decision, but I had peace of mind and a smile on my face.

Chalk one up for the old guard. Everybody's saying Internet skills are the key to survival. But you can still make a living working with your hands, quite a good one based on these prices.

I heartily recommend Bedford Shoe & Luggage Repair.

And I'm even more of a believer in Yelp.

I've got the app on my phone, I wouldn't leave home without it!

http://www.bedfordshoerepair.com


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Monday 1 April 2013

Phil Ramone

He was a friend of mine.

Too often famous artists are unapproachable, glum, they see you coming and they clam up or run.

But that was not Phil. Phil almost always had a smile on his face. He was open to discussion. He was as passionate and excited talking about the albums of yore as those of tomorrow. He was unknown to most, but to those of us who read the credits...he was a god.

The credits. They started on 45s. Who were these writers? The producers? There was obviously a whole world behind the face, but we really had no idea who they were until the album era. When there were gatefold sleeves and oftentimes all we knew about records what was what was imprinted upon them. That's where I first remember encountering Phil's name, all over "There Goes Rhymin' Simon."

When the history of rock and roll is rewritten, Paul Simon's second solo album will be in the top five of all time, it's just that damn good. I can't see why it's been forgotten. All these years later it seems all people want to talk about is Simon & Garfunkel and Paul's world music forays, and, of course, "Still Crazy After All These Years," but "Rhymin' Simon" is Paul's second masterpiece, after "Bookends." And it's the songs, the performances, but first and foremost the SOUND!

"Rhymin' Simon" sounded as good out of the car speaker as it did pumping from a high end sound system. How did they do that?

Phil Ramone.

Talk to a twenty year old today and he'll be clueless as to Phil.

But he'll know his records.

Most of us fade away, those who create indelible art live on, through their work.

Yes, "Rhymin' Simon" may have curiously faded away, but Billy Joel's tracks are still front and center. And if you think the artists are similar, you probably believe a pitcher and a shortstop are the same thing. But they're not.

That was Phil's skill. He was malleable. He served the material. He didn't have a sound, unless you want to call it purity. There was nothing between Phil's records and the listener. No scrim, no static, just sound.

And unlike so many, Phil had success when he was young, and kept on having it as he grew older. You see he had a career, where most believe it's about a peak of fame. No, you woodshed, you wait for your time, if you're great, your efforts will lead to more, you'll triumph.

No one has the patience anymore. But Phil started before the Beatles. Before anyone knew the riches to be rained down in the music business. Now the MTV paradigm reigns. Just make it famous, spam everybody, beat them upon the head until they know. Whereas when Phil began, it was about sound instead of promotion. And upon this foundation, Phil did his great work.

And I knew Phil by accident. Felice's brother-in-law was one of his best friends. But Phil was always nice to me, he had no airs, and he was open to anything and everything new and exciting. He wasn't dead, but fully alive.

Although he's gone now.

Seventy nine years. That's a good run. Longer than many.

And he never retired. He worked until he passed. Retirement is not an option for someone who loves what he does, who does it so well, he still gets the call.

And that was Phil.

And it's sad that he's gone.

But the records live on.


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Rhinofy-It's A Long Way There

Did I ever tell you the story of getting kicked out of class for putting my feet on the desk?

Well, it was a bit more than that. I had my feet on the desk and the Evidence professor was offended and he asked me a question.

Wrong strategy. I can read. And I did. Just because I wear my collar turned up and find it more comfortable to have my feet on the desk doesn't mean I'm ignorant. Not only did I answer his question, I asked him a few, which he couldn't answer.

So he kicked me out of class.

Not that I displayed any attitude. But that's the educational system, the teachers have to feel they're better than us. And if we ignore that construct and pierce the veil...dicey times ensue.

And it was the crack of dawn on a Friday morning, the fact I was there at all was a miracle, not because I'm a class-skipper, but because I CAN'T WAKE UP! Left to my own devices I'll go to sleep later and later, I love the nighttime, I don't love to boogie, but when it gets dark and everybody goes to sleep I can truly flourish. Which makes it hard to wake up at eight a.m., to drive from the westside to downtown, all to listen to the ministrations of some pompous person. Hell, one of the great moments of the year was the return of Moot Court papers, which had to be anonymous, since they're overwhelmed with privacy issues in law school, and I got the second highest grade in the class. This guy made a snide remark as he returned my report, he should have APOLOGIZED! Not that I was expecting it, but he'd really put me in a pickle, if I hadn't gotten back into class my dad would have KILLED ME! Screw the teacher, it was my dad I was afraid of. Hey Dad! You paid all this money and I'm not gonna graduate and it's gonna cost you even more bucks... I convinced the professor to let me back in, but this is all a set-up for that moment in the late fall of '76 when I was sitting in gridlock on the 405 and I heard this record.

Ah, the days of radio. Especially in L.A. Where there were FIVE rock stations on the FM. And the two biggest, if not the best, were right next to each other on the dial, 94.7 KMET, and 95.5 KLOS. You'd just twist the dial and go from one to the other. Hell, my Blaupunkt had no presets. And I'm on Wilshire, ascending to the 405, and the deejay announces he's going to play something brand new and I hear these swirling strings and then a cappella harmonies and then the track proceeds to positively ROCK OUT! For almost TEN MINUTES!

Ah, the seventies.

The song? IT'S A LONG WAY THERE! BY THE LITTLE RIVER BAND!

No, no, no, don't confuse them with that outfit with the a/c hits, this was before they blanded out the sound, when they were still rockers, before anybody in American knew them...

"People on the road are getting nowhere
I'm on the road to see
If anything is anywhere and waiting just for me"

It was really a long way to where I was going.

I was going to drop out of law school, but it was the worst year in the history of snowfall in Utah, 1976-77, you can look it up. And then I fell in love and then...

Sometime I'll tell you my history. I haven't been writing this drivel forever. Took me years to find my niche. But it's never too late. I may have little hair, I may be old, but I'm just starting to crest, my peak is still in front of me.

And how can I do it?

PERSEVERANCE AND MUSIC!

Not every track, just some tracks. I put them on and it's me and them against the world.

But "It's A Long Way There" is not aggro. It's positively pleasing.

And maybe you know that.

But if you don't you're in for a treat!

What we loved about our seventies music was it was not cookie-cutter, it did not all sound the same, it was a veritable cornucopia of quality.

I left Evidence and drove right to Music Odyssey and bought the brand new Little River Band album, a compilation of two from Down Under, but I didn't know that, the press hadn't yet told the story. And it really didn't matter, because none of the other cuts ever stuck, but "It's A Long Way There"...

I came home, ripped off the shrinkwrap and dropped the needle and...

Tons of power, big speakers, I had enough sound to blow apart the whole building. Like everybody's got a wi-fi network these days, we all had stereos. And if you paid enough, a few thousand bucks, a pure elixir of sound emanated from the speakers and soothed you, made you happy.

This was not earbud nation. You could actually see the instruments in the speakers.

And it's a long way until we're there again.

But when we are... All those exquisitely recorded gems from way back then are going to come alive, and the populace is going to be THRILLED!

Just check this out.

If you're not amazed, you're a jaded punk who thinks music must be ugly to be pretty.

But "It's A Long Way There" is not.

It's fantastic.

Spotify link: http://spoti.fi/p6HcZ8

Previous Rhinofy playlists: http://www.rhinofy.com/lefsetz


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Warner Goes Kickstarter

Starting May 1st, all Warner albums will be funded by Kickstarter.

Perennially third, the smallest of the three majors saw a need to shake it up, to move ahead of Sony and Universal in the game of music production. Lucian Grainge bought EMI, believing it was all about market share, economies of scale...but that's positively old school. Today you drill down into the niches, you solidify your relationship with your fan base, you grow from the bottom up, not the top down.

Yes, Stephen Cooper has just thrown a curve ball so wide, Doug Morris won't even see it.

Believing it's about radio and retail, septuagenarian Morris is putting himself out to his own pasture. Didn't he get the memo? Newspapers are dying, young people ignore mainstream media, to try to close young people via old media is like insisting baby boomers give up their Lipitor. Raw stupidity. Then again, the music business was always about muscle.

But now it's about data.

Lucian Grainge hired Steve Barnett to run Capitol...he'd have been better off hiring a nerd, someone who knows the difference between a 0 and a 1...then again, does anybody in the music business truly know how digital works? I think not.

The nerds have inherited the earth.

And Perry Chen is the new Rick Rubin.

You know, Mr. Vibe. Rick doesn't really produce records, not in the traditional sense. He just drives artists to capture the zeitgeist. And Perry Chen is riding the wave that Laird Hamilton is unable to get Rick to surf. Rick keeps losing his deal, whereas now Perry Chen is the king of deals.

And the man who executes is Yancey Strickler. Who once upon a time worked at eMusic, before he became one of the Kickstarter troika.

Yancey was in L.A. two weeks ago, inking the deal with Cooper.

You see in today's market you can't oversell. Oh, you can try to, but it backfires. You have one hit, and then your career is..sh**. We live in a land of one hit wonders. But even PSY got a couple of months. "Harlem Shake" was here and gone in a matter of weeks. You've got to play for the long haul. Something Doug Morris has never done, but Stephen Cooper is doing now.

It's always outsiders that lead the revolt.

So from now on, every act that raises $100,000 on Kickstarter will automatically get a Warner Music contract. Assuming the act wants it. Which in most cases it shouldn't, but acts are delusional and want a deal so they can tell mommy and daddy they've made it.

But there's another way to get your Warner deal via Kickstarter. If you get 1000 people to donate, you get a deal too. Since most Kickstarter bands don't have that many fans willing to pony up the bucks, don't expect Warner to be overwhelmed with new talent.

As for the acts already signed to Warner?

Cooper's stealth hire is Amanda Palmer. Unable to get anybody interested in her music other than her hard core fans, Ms. Palmer is now going where her talent truly lies, in marketing, in self-promotion. Her TED speech was just the beginning. Cooper had no idea who Palmer was, but when his niece told him at the seder to check Amanda out, Cooper did and pounced.

Palmer is now wrapping up her musical career, and will be holding boot camps for all Warner artists imminently. Unwilling to spend the dough to fly acts to L.A. or New York, Palmer will go on a bus tour across America, meeting with each and every Warner artist in his or her hometown. The blogosphere will light up with hype. This is the story true fans are following, not Lady Gaga's golden wheelchair, not what's on TMZ or Radar, those are positively last decade.

Palmer's gonna teach all those Warner artists the new reality. That your bond with your fans is all that counts. Build up the hard core. Rip them off for as many dollars as you can. It's all about the cash, baby. Palmer will teach them how to beg and sell, via Twitter, Tumblr and Facebook, even Pinterest! Finally, Blavatnik's purchase will pay off.

The labels can't compete with the promoters. It's Live Nation and AEG that truly pony up the big bucks. But Cooper is smart, he knows that no act succeeds without fans, and that's what his new strategy is all about, fans.

The old guard is toast.

Tom Windish has made an exclusive deal to represent all new Warner talent. CAA is too self-impressed, saying it can get acts into movies when we all know it's about TV and the creators are the new auteurs and can't be told who to use anyway. All the established agencies are missing the boat, they're about commissions as opposed to talent development. It'll be the death of them.

As for sponsorship... It's toast. Now, the fans will sponsor the acts. It's a direct connection. Heart to heart. In one fell swoop, Mr. Cooper is wiping away decades of music business b.s. As for the rumor that every Warner act will be given a copy of Clive Davis's autobiography...that was a plant, by Mr. Davis himself, to goose sales, there's no truth to that rumor.

But what can Warner do for you, after they've signed you?

Well, you do get a free pair of Google glasses. And a Nest thermostat, assuming you're not living out of your car. But via a secret deal, Daniel Ek will promote you via Spotify. With Jimmy's MOG/Daisy/Beats Music tied in with Universal, Ek is desperate. But Ek knows it's all about talent, and he's lining up with the innovator.

Cooper has also made a deal with Jeff Bezos. Every act will get fifteen gigs of cloud storage and their music will be available to all Amazon Prime members for free.

But it gets even better. Mark Zuckerberg will now allow all Warner artists to spam their entire fan base on Facebook cost free, in exchange for a record deal for one Facebook employee per year.

And five Warner acts, not those already signed to the label, but those who come to the company via Kickstarter, will fill guaranteed slots at Coachella. Expect similar announcements to come regarding Lollapalooza and Bonnaroo. Rumor has it ACL will be excluded, since Austinites don't like to be told what to listen to.

Yes, what Warner is selling is relationships. Which used to be with radio and retail, but are now with the tech set.

Crowdfunding is here to stay. And Warner is guaranteeing results. If you pledge and the act doesn't deliver, you get the equivalent of your pledge in Warner stock. If you're under the age of eighteen, no stock will be forthcoming, but you can choose from the merchandise/rewards of other Warner Kickstarter artists.

Cooper is clueless when it comes to music. But he realizes it's no longer about focusing on the few, but having a relationship with the many. Why sign a band with no following? Why not go with those who have a start, entice them with perks, and then wait for one of these acts to blow up?

And if they don't, it doesn't matter! There was no investment! The fans foot the bill!

And ultimately, in two years time, it's going to take a while to write the code, Kickstarter and Warner will offer funding for tour buses and all the accoutrements of success. Yes, Cooper is gonna load the entire cost of music development and exposure on the fans. And instead of getting 5%, Kickstarter will get 20% of Warner branded exclusive services.

Just when you thought things were settling down, it's clear that tech and music are becoming even further intertwined, and it's those who think outside of the box who will win. If you're doing it the old way, you're on the road to failure.

Warner Music is not.


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