Friday 22 February 2013

Rhinofy-Prairie Wedding

I was just driving in a rainstorm pushing the buttons on my XM receiver and I heard this.

Funny about music. There's stuff that you get immediately, that's so in the pocket you just want to sit in your car and marinate in it.

That's what I did. Sat in my garage feeling that someone understood me.

Funny society we live in. Everybody's upbeat and at 'em and I feel this way sometimes but often I'm reflecting, sitting in front of the picture window, staring at the world outside, sitting in the seat of my Saabaru contemplating what's on the other side of the windscreen... Feeling positively alone, yet part of something, much bigger than myself. The world. I'm just a speck of dust, here today, gone soon, but while I'm here I'm just as vital as anybody and anything, the President of the United States, the bird on the wire, the dust blowing on the prairie.

I couldn't make out all of the words.

And for some reason the title was not displayed in my radio readout. The song before was, and the one after was, but not this one. Obviously it was Mark Knopfler. But what was the name of the song? Even though it wasn't over, I needed to hear it again.

Mark Knopfler. He and his band Dire Straits had immediate impact with "Sultans Of Swing." They were on Warner Brothers in America, which knew how to do this stuff. But outside the U.S. they were on PolyGram, which was a powerhouse overseas. As a result, Dire Straits became the biggest band in the world, playing stadia wherever they went. Yup, just a guy and his guitar with his mates, just music, no dancing, oh what a magical time it was.

But then it was too much. Mark broke it down, decided he was more interested in his muse than the fame. He went solo, and he's never been as big. But there's this one cut he did, more than half a decade back, that I positively loved. "This Is Us," a duet with Emmylou Harris. And I played that album, 2006's "All The Roadrunning," but I loved nothing quite as much. I wanted to dig deeper, but I didn't know how.

And now I'm in my automobile and there's this song I've never heard that I think I've known my whole life. Like a secret brother, a long lost uncle.

Thank the deejay.

So I came inside and started doing research. I figured the track was from Mark's new album, "Privateering." But I sampled every cut on the album and didn't find it.

I was going through every Knopfler track, every album in reverse order, from new to old, and I wasn't finding it. Then serendipitously I got an e-mail from the deejay, Mike Marrone, and he revealed what I needed to know, the song was "Prairie Wedding," from Mark's 2000 album "Sailing To Philadelphia." It might be thirteen years old, but it's brand new to me. It's like uncovering a Dead Sea Scroll. That's what's great about music, for all the focus on the brand new, everything's a land mine, just waiting for your discovery. Right now, Led Zeppelin is new to somebody. Can you imagine that? Hearing "Whole Lotta Love" and then stumbling upon "Physical Graffiti"?

And what you hear on the radio so often is not as good when you've got the ability to hear it ad infinitum at home.

But that's not the case with "Prairie Wedding." I love it even more. Hearing it and reading the lyrics...I'm reminded of nothing so much as "McCabe & Mrs. Miller," my favorite Robert Altman film. You remember, "If a frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his ass so much!" That's what small time player Warren Beatty says during a card game, but you can barely hear it, because Altman recorded sound on multiple tracks and mixed them together to replicate real life. And in real life you miss stuff.

And you're so used to Warren Beatty being an all-knowing winner. But not in this movie. And there's Keith Carradine as the naive warm-hearted cowboy. And there's Julie Christie and Leonard Cohen songs and a bunch of snow and I'd recommend the flick except it might be too much for those who like "Avengers" and the obvious stuff. Yes, there's story in "McCabe & Mrs. Miller," but it's truly about the aforementioned feel. Just like in "Prairie Wedding." There's a story too, but you get the message from the feel.

"Think you could love me Mary
Think we got a chance of a life
Do you think you could love me Mary
Now you are to be my wife"

Imagine how lonely he was. How desperate she was. No social network, no Internet dating, just a business deal.

"We finally headed out of the station
And we drove up the home trail
And when we came on the farm she laid a hand on my arm
I thought my resolution would fail"

That's the power of touch. I'm not good with it, never being touched growing up. I don't trust it, but when I don't recoil, when I get over my heebie-jeebies, it roots me, makes me feel so good.

"And I froze as she stepped in the doorway
Stood there as still as could be
I said I know it ain't much, it needs a woman's touch
Lord, she turned around and looked at me"

We all need a woman's touch. We're clueless without them.

"When the sun's going down on the prairie
And the gold in her hair is aflame
I say do you really love me Mary and
I hold her and I whisper her name"

We're all unsure. Do they love us or not? People are not like records. They can betray you, abandon you. Doesn't matter if you live in the city or nowheresville. Then again, the more isolated you are, the more you fear being left. It's just too painful.

Funny how these Englishmen are fascinated with the American West. Hell, Elton John's best album is "Tumbleweed Connection." They're kind of like these mail-order brides. Unhappy where they are, dreaming of a better life in the new territory.

"Prairie Wedding" is the music for all those who hate the Top Forty. Who believe in subtlety as opposed to being banged on the head. It's what you discover when you grow out of Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber. When you need your music to be protein instead of sugar.

This gem's been hiding in plain sight for over a decade.

Today I discovered it.

And I'll never forget it.

Spotify link: http://spoti.fi/p6HcZ8

Previous Rhinofy playlists: http://www.rhinofy.com/lefsetz


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The Harlem Shake Phenomenon

It's the ultimate in participation.

It all started with rap. You didn't need training, you didn't need to know anything about music or the music business. You just lifted a track and freestyled above it.

Then came reality television. Where suddenly people could be famous for nothing. Whether it be the denizens of the "Real World" house, Richard Hatch on "Survivor" or Kim Kardashian.

Now it's "Harlem Shake."

How did the prognosticators, how did the powers-that-be get it so wrong?

Hubris. Believing that they dictated culture, that they were in power, when nothing could be further from the truth. Credit the Internet, where the public's power could suddenly be seen. Gatekeepers are passe. We live in an era of chaos. One in which not only TV producers and record labels are clueless, but so are political parties.

The hero of the 2012 election? A geek! Nate Silver! Who based his predictions on data and analysis, as opposed to bloviating and intimidation. When an entire party is beaten by one nerd and his laptop, you know things have changed.

And then there's NBC, which recently descended to fifth place in the network race. Its mistake? Programming for an audience that doesn't exist. Used to be network television was about blandly creating a big tent. Now the world is populated by a zillion niches. Whatever you're interested in has a website, maybe dozens, with more depth and more edge than anything on the box. The film companies have punted. Believing that if they just bland their product out further, localize it not a bit, even remove most of the dialog, the whole world will come running. But in an era where Twitter and Facebook bring down dictators, are there truly that many unwashed and ignorant? China not only makes our electronics, it uses them too.

The movie business is having its wedding/coronation/celebration this weekend. Once upon a time, the Oscars mattered. Today they're a dying enterprise. Because the younger generation can't relate, the same way it passed on boxing for mixed martial arts. Oblivion is only a handful of years away, if you don't constantly take the temperature of the populace and get down into the pit with your audience.

Yes, the tail is wagging the dog.

And nothing happens slowly anymore. "Harlem Shake" may have been released last May, but the phenomenon began only a few weeks ago. And if you think it's got a future, you're probably in business with PSY. Internet memes are now about coming together, providing commonality in a world with very little. This is how we connect, in an environment where we don't watch the same television shows, don't listen to the same music and only watch movies at home, on Netflix.

Call it democratization. Something the sold out government could not achieve. Yes, both political parties are beholden to money and lobbyists, yet the public is 100% uncontrollable. This is what the record labels can't understand. They used to be in control...of radio, of distribution, now they've lost their power. Now it comes down to excellence and luck.

We've got no time for mediocre.

If you're not the best, if you're not a star, we've got no time for you. Whether it be a film, a TV show or music. All those flicks at Sundance? Most of them will never get distribution, most of them will never be seen. It's the triumph of the few. In a world where everybody has access and nobody has any time.

Furthermore, barriers to success have been torn down. Used to be you needed the fat cat cigar-chomping impresario to make you a success. You had to grovel and sell out. Now you do it for yourself.

As for money...

That's one of the fascinating things about "Harlem Shake." The money is in the imitations, not the real thing, all those YouTube videos created and watched. Think about this, this is what the labels' said was going to ruin the world. If copyright was loosened, if YouTube gained power, if the artist wasn't 100% in control of his art. But just the opposite has come true. If you loosen the strings, not only do you have a greater chance of success, but there's a ton of money to be made.

Don't fear the future, embrace it. Because the past is never coming back.

Innovate or die. Even though "Billboard" is on its last gasp, give the magazine credit for making YouTube part of its chart. It might piss off the old men, but they're trying to reflect reality. Something every punter on the street knows, but no one in the corridors of power wants to admit.

You can still make it.

But you've got to be innovative, and different. That's more important than talent or skill. Kind of like the era of classic rock. Conception is more important than execution. Can you titillate the audience? Can you inspire it?

They're in control.

There's no such thing as a turntable hit anymore. Not one that lasts more than a week, that's propped up by mainstream media.

No, now, more than ever, success has underpinnings. Whether it be the awfulness of Rebecca Black or the quality of "The Walking Dead" and the rest of the cable dramas.

All those cable shows made it on word of mouth. Took them years to rise above the rabble-rousing, the hype of the mainstream product. That's the modern world, it works both fast and slow, and there's nothing in between. Either it takes years to reach critical mass, for everybody to tell everybody else, to anoint what was seen as off the grid as positively mainstream, or there's a Vesuvius effect, and something bubbles over uncontrollably, going from percolation to explosion overnight.

It's not your grandpa's era. It's not the twentieth century.

It's a brand new world. Where the public is constantly communicating on those hand-held devices oldsters say is ruining humanity, and everybody's got the tools of creation at their fingertips. All they need is putty. Starter. Something to grab on to. Then they'll make it their own and turn it into a huge success.

Or not.


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Thursday 21 February 2013

Twenty Feet From Stardom

This movie is going to make Lisa Fischer a star. Just like Ry Cooder went to Cuba and brought the Buena Vista Social Club to prominence, the unheralded Fischer will get a victory lap she didn't anticipate, and she deserves it, because she's just that damn good.

I love going to the movies during the day. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy, that I was put on this planet to resonate with art. Yes, in a life that moves so fast, it's fun to slow down and play hooky in the middle of the day.

And I know this film was the last production of the late Gil Friesen.

And I know who most of the singers are.

But I wasn't prepared for their stories. How despite being so talented, they hit a glass ceiling they could never break through.

Claudia Lennear? Who toured with the Stones and posed in "Playboy"?

She's been teaching Spanish for over a decade. She just couldn't handle the struggle, despite a deal with Warner Brothers, despite me and you and everybody who ever read the credits on a vinyl album knowing who she is.

Darlene Love?

She sang uncredited on so many Phil Spector hits. The lead! The Crystals were on the road when "her" record shot up the chart, but they got the credit. She finally escaped from Phil and signed with Gamble & Huff, who promptly sold her contract back to Phil and Darlene...gave up and cleaned houses.

That's what they don't tell you, the downside. You see someone on TV, hear them on the radio, and you think they're rich and famous, leading a much better life than you. But frequently that's not true.

And you've got to see Ike & Tina Turner, with the Ikettes. Unfortunately, they were before their time. Today, Ike & Tina Turner would be the biggest act in the world. Because of their live show. It used to be about the recordings, now it's about the show. And you think you're giving the audience what it expects by singing to tape, but that's not what people want. They want humanity, they want to be touched, they don't want to be entertained, they want to have their minds BLOWN!

Kind of like Merry Clayton...

RAPE! MURDER! IT'S JUST A SHOT AWAY!

If you've ever heard "Gimmie Shelter," you know Merry Clayton's part.

The Stones called her at 2 A.M. She was pregnant, she was in curlers, she was in bed. But she ambled on down to the studio and sang. And Mick asked her if she wanted to do one more.

And she said to herself...I'M GONNA BLOW THEM AWAY!

That's the mark of a pro, that's the mark of a star, someone so confident that all they need is a window to demonstrate their wares, they'll deliver, just give them a chance.

Kind of like Tata Vega, who was passed by by Stevie Wonder, and then sat down at the piano and sang, to get noticed, to make him come back, and he did.

And yes, so many of these vocalists did not become stars.

But they had a hell of a good time.

The blacks took over from the whites. The English rock stars liberated them. Told them not to sing the charts, not to get it right, but to demonstrate how they FEEL!

Let loose, they conquered mountains, wormed their way into our hearts.

The point is made that we at home, in our cars, don't sing along with the stars, but the background singers. They're doing our part.

But even more startling is how damn good these singers are. In our business-centric society, it's believed that everybody's fungible. That if you disappeared, you could be replaced. Not so with artists. One singer, one artist, can make a difference.

And it's a gift. Not everybody can sing.

But we all want to.

If this movie doesn't make you want to move to Hollywood and pursue your dream in the music business, you were born to be an accountant. How much fun, to sing every day. To be coached by Luther Vandross, to sing backup for David Bowie, to pal around with Mick Jagger.

And Jagger's fascinating, because he's CHEEKY!

That's what we've forgotten about our stars. They were individuals. Marching to the beat of a drummer only they could hear. That's why we pursued them, imitated them, because they cared not a whit about society, about everybody else. Make a deal with BlackBerry? Only if you don't use my name!

Yes, ponder that. The old stars liked money. But they knew how to manage their careers. They knew they were in bed with the audience, not the U.S. Mint.

And Sting talks about the process, how you can win a TV talent contest but you won't last, because you haven't paid your dues, you didn't take the journey.

As for the applause... If you need that every night, you're in trouble.

Which brings us back to Ms. Fischer.

She had a successful album. She won a Grammy. But that shows how much that trophy is worth, very little. It won't keep you warm at night and most people don't know you've won it. You've got to keep on earning your bread every day and night. Her solo career flailing, Ms. Fischer takes a job singing backup with the Stones. Watch her performances in this movie and your jaw will drop. How can someone be that f___ing good?

But they all are.

It's an elite group.

Not of hundreds, but a handful.

You think everybody can do it.

But only a few are qualified.

And qualification is just a start. Especially if you're a singer... Want to be a star? Then you've got to have first class material, a great arranger, and an executive who believes in you. And it's hard to put all that together.

But those days are through.

Just like the days of expensive sessions, paid for by rich record companies.

Now you record in your basement. Alone. A whole class of professionals has been wiped out. But one door closes, and another one opens up.

Now, more than ever, if you've got it, and you're willing to put in the work, you can make it.

Because we live in a phony, sold-out, duplicitous culture. And honest art cuts through all that crap. People are hungry for truth. And vocalizing is truth.

Anybody can rap, but not everybody can sing, certainly not well.

Get on stage and open your pipes and you can gain an instant audience. People will be spreading the word, tweeting before you even finish your performance. Because we're all hungry for something good, and it's human nature to share the experience.

Once upon a time this was the essence of life, the essence of society. If you don't think music drove the culture in the sixties and seventies, you weren't there. You listened to the radio to know which way the wind blew. We listened to musicians, not politicians or businessmen.

And the "artists" have abdicated their power. They've done what's expedient. They're pursuing money and fame, not music.

But there's power in music.

Just watch this documentary.

It'll stop you in your tracks.

You'll marvel that via sheer will and wits and perseverance, a cadre of performers not only had fun, but changed the world.

If you're not up to the task, go to graduate school, weave a safety net.

Because in art the only thing below you is the floor. And if you don't fight to stay vertical, you'll fall flat on your face.

But there's always room for someone who stands tall. Who's willing to take the stage, walk up to the microphone and remind us that it's art that drives the world, not cash, that the power resides in those who dig down deep and reveal themselves to the rest of us, delivering truth and inspiring us, just by being human. No tricks no machines, no money, no sour grapes.

If you're that good, we're ready.

Always.

https://www.facebook.com/TwentyFeetFromStardom


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Wednesday 20 February 2013

Clive Correction

He does have a website.

But it doesn't show up on the first page of Google, the only one that counts.

Actually, I went all the way to page 14 of Google and I still didn't find it, even though I did see the link for the Clive Davis Institute at NYU on page 7.

In other words, his publisher, Simon & Schuster, is completely clueless when it comes to SEO, otherwise known as Search Engine Optimization.

You see Clive obviously just launched this site, and therefore it hasn't had time to float up to page 1, there aren't enough links. Then again, we all know how Google works, and seemingly all the old farts are clueless.

Yes, a bunch of the pages of Google are filled up with news reports of his coming out.

Then again, is this where this kind of news is broken anymore? Don't you come out on Twitter, announce big news there yourself?

But I already said that.

Clive thinks he's selling a record. He saved all his publicity for the launch to have a big first sales week to impress everybody in NYC. But the big hit book of the year was "Gone Girl," which started off slowly and is still up in the Top Five, number two on most lists, nearly a year later.

Oh, when will the old folks learn.

It's not about publicity, it's about the book itself, what's inside the covers.

And I can't tell you what's there, because I only got my copy today.

But all the buzz is bad. It's hagiography.

And that worked in the 1970s, when Clive had his first book. But if you're not willing to tell the truth today, people move on.

First and foremost, is the book readable? As in well-written.

Second, are the stories interesting?

Too many of these celebrity tomes are self-serving. For fans only. I've yet to find one person who thought the Neil Young book was any good.

Then again, people still testify about the Andre Agassi book. Because he said what was truly inside. And utilized a grade A ghostwriter, who didn't pen celebrity bios for a living and refused to take credit.

This is all just a tempest in a teapot. We're not going to be talking about this next week, never mind tomorrow.

But music, when done right, survives.

And, unfortunately, too much of the crap that Clive put out on Arista isn't worth listening to today, and isn't. Played your Kenny G records recently?

And I think Mr. Gorelick has been unfairly maligned. He's got a sense of humor about himself. Unlike his mentor.

But now, more than ever, it comes down to what's in the grooves.

Give Clive credit, he realized one thing, it's best if you're a great singer. Too many of today's wannabes croak like frogs, and wonder why no one is interested.

But a good voice is rarely enough, not since the Beatles, who could both sing and write.

Writing... Do you have something to say?

Your first song is not good.

Nor is your first book.

Want to be a great writer?

Then start writing today and don't ever stop.

Ditto if you want to be a great songwriter.

But no one wants to work off the grid anymore. No one wants to pay their dues. They want traction, they want to see results.

Do you think anybody in London cared about the Beatles when they were playing in Hamburg? Meanwhile, it may sound exotic to Americans, but Hamburg was a hole.

But I'll own my mistake. Clive does have a website. And a Facebook page too!

But there's no reason to go there. They're static billboards. Akin to what you see on construction sites. Online homes are ever-changing, ever-fresh. If you're not populating your online home, you might as well kill it.

Unlike Kelly Clarkson. Who's posting constantly, putting cover clips on YouTube. Keeping her fans happy.

That's how you do it. You engage constantly.

And ignore the haters.

Then again, I'm not sure Clive Davis KNEW he had haters!

P.S. Google Kelly Clarkson. Her website is the very first link on the very first page, right below the news. Next comes her Wikipedia page. Google Clive Davis... His Wikipedia page is the very first link, his website is nowhere to be found.

http://www.clivedavis.com

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Clive-Davis/190338346685


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Monitor But Don't Respond

I made a big mistake. I answered an e-mail.

I should know better.

There's nothing people like more than tearing you down, and by responding to their e-mail, they now know they have access, and it's open season.

I don't understand Twitter wars. You say X, the other person says Y, and then it devolves into F YOU!

Happens every time.

Want access to someone online?

Be nice to them.

I know you don't want to. You want to be three-dimensional, you want to give your opinion, you want to right the wrong. But all this does is leave you ostracized, outside the door.

Amanda Palmer may meet everybody...

Then again, once her image rose above her minions, she was excoriated. Not a single fan bitched she was ripping off musicians by having them play for free, rather it was outsiders, who were unfamiliar with her and her ethos.

Amanda blinked. She shouldn't have. It only disappointed those who truly cared, who believed she was the standard bearer against the b.s. Now their hero was just like them, beholden to the man.

You cannot be mainstream anymore. It's a futile exercise. You have to bland out your image and kiss so much butt that you end up with no sharp edges to hold on to. Ubiquity is no longer for art, but crime, and tech. If you're an artist you're inherently niche, appealing to a sliver of the population. As for the others, ignore them.

I know, I know, this is contrary to the MTV ethos. But MTV no longer airs videos and you don't even know what channel it is. Why are you putting faith in an old paradigm?

When you start out, you're available. When you're a nobody, you acknowledge all comers. You're thrilled anybody cares. But once you're somebody, the doors close. There are just too many crazies in this world. Kate Upton was an unpopular nebbish in high school. Just try approaching her in real life today, especially if you're a man. You're gonna get the cold shoulder, you're gonna be physically removed by a bodyguard. Not because you're a predator, but because somebody else is.

We live in an unjust society. And one way the oppressed, the disillusioned, the angry can get revenge is by attacking the winners online. No one knows this better than Barack Obama. His detractors don't care if he was born in America, they just hate the man and everything he stands for. It's not about facts, it's about emotions. If Obama provides his birth certificate it doesn't end the conversation, it ignites it! By engaging Obama legitimizes his detractors, he gives them raw meat, they go wild. So he doesn't.

And neither should you.

Assuming you've got a profile that high.

The rulebook is being rewritten. Traditional media, newspapers, magazines, movies and television...they think they're better than you. They didn't get the memo. That we're now all truly equal online. So these old powers try to ignore reality, put a finger in the dike, stop the tsunami of digital communication. They either deny it exists, or rant about piracy and sue your ass.

That's a flawed strategy. If you don't acknowledge that communication has fundamentally changed, you're destined for the dustbin.

The question is how to deal with this new world.

Don't try to educate every ignoramus. Don't try to neutralize every hater. It's more about them than you. They don't want to know the truth, they just want to be acknowledged, seen as important in this depersonalized world. Anybody saying the customer is always right doesn't have an Internet connection.

It's sad that the few ruin it for the rest of us. But that's reality. Ten percent of responders are insane. The problem is you just don't know who that ten percent are. And therefore, you can't respond to anybody.

Want to communicate with the rich and famous?

Become so yourself.

That hasn't changed.

Want access? Then you've go to deserve it. You've got to accomplish something. You've got to be vetted. You've got to be trustworthy. Then you can hang with George Clooney and have a conversation with Jennifer Lawrence. Otherwise, the door is shut. Because of history, because of the crazies.

But the good thing is you've now got the tools. To create and distribute. They're essentially free. You can gain access. But not by bitching, not by making fun, but by earning it.

And the funny thing is once you get inside, you'll find everybody treats you right. Because you can't get to the top by being a hater. No one's got time for that.


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Kelly & Clive

David Geffen called Don Henley a malcontent. Was never gonna let the Eagle get the best of him.

But Geffen's not only a businessman, but a billionaire.

We're used to that. Rich people believing they're entitled to speak their truth. Above recrimination. But ARTISTS?

I'm stunned at the traction Kelly Clarkson's response to Clive Davis got yesterday.

Used to be you were afraid to speak truth to power. And if you decided to, you vetted your words with a high-priced PR person and negotiated with the mainstream press to print them.

But Kelly Clarkson's words were most certainly her own, and she did nothing but post them online, and her minions spread the word.

The truth?

It almost doesn't matter. But what does is the days of artists being beholden sheep are done. We've reached a turning point. And isn't it stunning that the revolution is being led by the winner of a TV talent show. The ungrateful b____.

That's what the Internet has wrought.

A bunch of people who believe they rule. Who know you win by going to your fans, to the public, not the old men. (And those who are not men act just like them.)

It's like a Mafia movie. In one fell swoop, Kelly Clarkson took a shiv and killed Clive Davis. His book was reviewed in today's "New York Times," but that's irrelevant. Online Kelly Clarkson beat him so bad, he doesn't even know what happened.

Clive Davis wrote a whole book about how he did it his way. Steered the ungrateful ingrates known as artists, and if you don't think the execs have contempt for the acts, you don't know any, away from their instincts and on to success. Prevented them from recording their own lame material and insisted they record canned stuff in a fashion distilled to play well on Top Forty radio. They got rich. Everybody was happy.

Same deal with Tommy Mottola. He didn't want Mariah Carey to inject hip-hop influences into her music.

Yup, Clive and Tommy were anti-art. They were pro-money.

But artists aren't in it for the money, despite the ravings of that lunatic Gene Simmons, they're in it for the audience and the attention, the money is way down the list, the eyeballs fill a hole in their souls. One of the reasons we get crappy music is the people whoring themselves out to major labels are not damaged malcontents like Don Henley, but pragmatists who see music as a way to chase the wealth of Wall Street and the computer titans. And as the money disappeared from music, the execs squeezed the acts even more.

And now they're revolting.

The Eagles put out their own album.

And if the label is mad at you, you just post videos on YouTube, release mixtapes. They can't stop piracy, you think they're going to stop their own charges from making music? The acts of the pre-Internet era were afraid. No longer. Call it upbringing, say the Millennials are entitled. I'll say it's the Internet. Where people speak truth to power all day long. It's in their DNA.

Do you think anybody online is taking Clive's side? The octogenarian who's all over conventional media but doesn't realize that's passe? He thinks being on ABC gives him gravitas, when everybody in the audience laughs at the talking heads, making happy talk and bloviating.

Kelly Clarkson certainly sang those songs. She wrote some of 'em. She got a toehold and won't shut up. She was screwed by Clive, who buried her personal album, and not only is she not forgetting it, she's rubbing his face in it.

This is music's Arab Spring. When the youngsters take power from the old men and refuse to give it back.

Got to thank "American Idol" for that.

And the Internet.

Kelly Clarkson: www.whosay.com/m/kellyclarkson/content/515466

P.S. Kelly posts her rebuttal on WhoSay, which I'm sure Clive's never heard of, and finally, today, just an hour ago, Clive Davis releases a statement to the media. He doesn't even have a Website, and he's promoting a book! He's on Twitter, but it's canned promotion as opposed to personal revelations. Hell, he should have broken the fact that he was bisexual on Twitter the day before his book came out, THAT'S modern publicity:

http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/music/posts/la-et-ms-clive-davis-book-kelly-clarkson-soundtrack-of-my-life-20130220,0,1605427.story

P.P.S. Geffen called Henley a malcontent in "History Of The Eagles," which is now on demand on Showtime.


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Tuesday 19 February 2013

See The Changes

I'm gonna be sixty.

And unlike Tommy Mottola and Lyor Cohen I'm not gonna shave a decade off my age in order to appear young and hip, because my hip hurts, you can get plastic surgery, put on a happy face, but you're still your real age inside, you might as well own it, especially because once you die you'll be...forgotten.

That's the dirty little secret. You think you matter, that you'll be remembered, but has anybody even mentioned Mindy McCready to you today? I think not. And that proves the point.

Surviving is difficult. All those musicians who O.D.'ed, they took the easy way out. Life is full of changes and challenges. Every time you think you know what's going on the mirrors descend, the fast ball turns into a curve ball and you're suddenly clueless. The only ones confident in their opinions are the youngsters, who know so little they think they know everything.

Yesterday I went to Costco. I am not a member. Because I don't have a family. That's one thing I forgot to do. Oh, I had the biological urge about twenty years ago, when I was still married but estranged from my ex-wife, I told her I wanted to get back together to procreate, but she didn't. And then the time passed by. And I'm not about to have children now. Most of the birth defects come from older fathers, and if my dad died when I was twenty not only would I have been crestfallen, I might not have been able to pull myself up by my bootstraps. We need people to rely upon, to point the way, to be in our corner. Otherwise life's just too difficult.

And after eating a strangely bland hot dog I went into the emporium and was confronted with scads of people much younger than myself, beating the prices at the Albertsons right next door. It was so exciting, poring through the goods, more fun than being famous, like Camille Grammer and Johnny Rzeznik, whom I saw at the baggage carousel the night before. Camille, with her puffed-up lips, was just sad and probably lonely. We think fame will solve our problems. But that was back before anybody could be on TV, when we had contempt for those on the box, as opposed to looking up to them. As for Rzeznik, there was an old guy with a video camera following him around, but nobody else recognized him, in a coif that he'd probably like to abandon, despite it being his trademark. How much time did it take to pouf it up? We get older and we just want to relax, be ourselves, not waste time, do our best to fit into life like an old worn-out shoe.

And then there was the girl stumbling around in the high heels. These I don't get. You can't walk so you'll look cool to other women? Overpaying for the privilege of wrecking your feet? Or maybe I missed the memo, maybe I'm the outlier here, but I get turned-on by these suddenly taller females not a bit. Kind of like Stevie Nicks on Letterman last week. Teetering on high heels singing a song nobody cared about. It's just sad. Having to emulate who you once were. As the rest of the world ages, adjusts, moves on.

"She has seen me changing
It ain't easy rearranging
And it gets harder as you get older
And farther away as you get closer"

Crosby, Stills & Nash reunited. Young didn't bother, he had a burgeoning solo career, the rest hit a dead end, their hits dried up, as did their audience. And these albums are supposed to disappoint, check the history of rock and roll, reunions never satiate, and 1977's "CSN" wasn't quite as good as what came before, but it was surprisingly excellent, with the still on the radio "Dark Star" and "Just A Song Before I Go" but the even better "I Give You Give Blind," "Shadow Captain" and the piece de resistance, "See The Changes."

The predecessor was "4 + 20" on "Deja Vu." I lived in Utah with a twenty four year old wondering where his life had taken him. He sat in front of the stereo playing that track over and over, feeling the solidarity, trying to gain wisdom.

And then, surprisingly, Stephen Stills gave an update.

"Ten years singing right out loud
I never looked was anybody listening
Then I fell out of a cloud
I hit the ground and noticed something missing"

We think we know where we're going. We have a plan and stick to it. Or we fall into something and do our best to get ahead and then suddenly...time has passed, we're older, we can't get back to where we once belonged, we can't start over, and suddenly we're not sure we like where we are.

It's the human condition. It causes firings, quittings and divorces. It's our one and only go-round and we don't want to make a mistake. And what they don't tell you is it's hard enough to accomplish one thing, never mind everything. Suddenly you take a good look around because you're never going to be back. You lose your looks, you've still got the sexual fantasy, but not quite the ability, and the people at Costco are younger than you.

And that's when you hear "See The Changes" on the radio.

That's exactly what happened yesterday.

After seeing the two bedraggled men exiting the building wearing brand new bright orange Fila sneakers, on sale for barely double digits, after holding back from scolding the mother with the toddler balancing on the handrail of the cart, about to fall off, after seeing a 65" TV for $3500, after realizing that while I was busy in my house trying to make it for twenty five years, everything changed, I tuned into the mellifluous sound of Stephen Stills telling me he experienced the same damn thing.

It's hard to rearrange. That's what freaks me out about my contemporaries, not their eagerness to diet and fit into children's clothing, but their lack of desire to change. They like physical books, they abhor the DVR, they're dead and they don't even know it yet. They've given up. And what happens next is you're discarded. Like the Republican Party, which couldn't read the statistics, which didn't realize the immigrant tsunami, the people of color, were going to bury them. Adjust or die.

And I was once young too, with an answer for everything. But now I hit countless dead ends. I know Verizon has better connections than AT&T, that all those using another provider are having a second-rate experience, but maybe they have a good sex life, maybe the connection just doesn't matter.

"Now I have someone
She has seen me changing
And it gets harder as you get older
And farther away as you get closer"

But at least now I have someone. Because being alone positively sucks. Living alone leaves your options open, but as the window closes you don't realize what you're missing. You're left out of couples social life, you don't go on vacation, and you're forced to log on to OKCupid where everybody's desirous of coupling up but refuses to do the work to see why they're alone. Set in their ways, they don't realize the problem is them. That you've got to change to make it. In life. In relationships.

"Nobody laughing
All the good times
Getting harder to come by without weeping"

Instead of discussing bands, you talk about your health. Everybody I know has cancer. Except for those too scared to go to the doctor. Believing if they live in denial they'll be okay. But the Big C waits for no one. Do it now, go to the doctor and live, because if you think the sand in the hourglass is endless, you're sorely mistaken. Turns out there's not as much as you think. And you don't want to live forever anyway, with all your friends gone.

"And I don't know the answer
Does it even matter?
I'm wonderin' how"

The question of the ages, the meaning of life. What is it? Damn if I know. Anybody who tells you otherwise is ignorant or a charlatan. In high school you want to live for yourself, make all your own decisions. As you age you look for the instruction book, the manual, you want answers, because you certainly have none.

But it's all irrelevant.

Forty years ago there was no Costco. For all I know, forty years from now food will be grown at home in your 3-D printer. Just like you no longer have to go to the post office to send a missive, how you no longer have to go to the bank to manage your money, the changes come fast and furious, unforeseen. And you do your best to adjust.

And it does get harder as you get older.

And sheer will cannot fight Father Time.

And it is farther away as you get closer.

Just when you think you've finally figured it out, you find out you were wrong. The hurricane destroys your house, depletes your life savings. The earthquake topples your abode. You thought you were prepared, but life is laughing at you. Pray if it makes you feel better, but no one's listening. Not God, not the government, not the media. You're on your own.

Unless you've got a good record collection.

And someone to listen to it with.

Then you're all right.

Spotify: http://spoti.fi/Y45Xvc

YouTube: http://bit.ly/NG6jCK


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More Mailbag

From: Zach Leary
Subject: Re: Mailbag

Hi Bob,

There weren't many times where I really saw or felt my dad as being overtly proud of what he accomplished. He just did what he did.

However, one of the sweetest moments was when we attended a Moody Blues concert at The Greek in Los Angeles in the early 90s. When they played "Legend of a Mind" he welled up and enjoyed the moment like nothing else I could remember.

That song really took him back to those amazing and precarious times where he was being wrongfully persecuted by the US government. And I know he felt that song captured it all with such beauty and a good tune to boot.

-zl

_______________________________________

From: Cheryl Strayed
Subject: Re: The Women Of L.A.

"For all the hype fashion gets, it's truly irrelevant, it's a way for the untalented to stand out. Because if you're talented, it's what's on the INSIDE that counts!"

You're brilliant, Bob. I've really enjoyed reading your letters. I love your voice and your passion.

I've been a feminist all my life and I wasn't offended one iota by "The Women of LA." I thought it was funny.

Thank you for writing about WILD last spring in your letter. It was unexpected and sweet, like the best things are.

Yours,

Cheryl
http://www.cherylstrayed.com/


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Monday 18 February 2013

Mailbag

Subject: In Search Of The Lost Chord

Hi Bob,

Great that you have taken the time to transport us back to those early days of stereo, Gatefold sleeves, FM Radio and a new Universe of Music that was waiting out there for us all to hear. I am truly proud that you have included our album In Search of the Lost Chord to be part of that new horizon.....

Peace and very Best Wishes

John Lodge
Moody Blues

____________________________________________

Subject: Re: A Little More Moody Blues

Dear Bob,

Well since Justin dropped a line so must I. Mike Pinder here.

I have been on your email list for awhile. I enjoy reading your Lefsetz Letter as I try and keep current on music and my sons are all talented musicians. Mike Lee and Matt are amazing singer/songwriters and teachers in Sacramento. Dan works with Hans Zimmer and others as a music editor in LA. I guess you might say it "runs in the family"

My dad played piano at the local pub. When I was a young lad at home I would take the front from the piano and touch the strings as I played a note and feel the vibration of sound. The higher the vibration the higher the note. Music and sound have always fascinated me. As does space, inner and outer.

I was fortunate to be able to combine that interest in music and the effects of music, melody etc with my mates, Ray, Justin, John, Tony and Graeme to make some memorable music. I remember very vividly the day Justin brought Nights in White Satin to the band. I sat at the Mellotron to add to the arrangement and came up with some counter melodies that Justin loved. You know the ones.

I have always said that we "hang our memories on the shape of sound" and I think we were able to create some lovely shapes for people to hang those memories.

Thinking is Still the Best Way to Travel.
Cheers,
Mike

PS I would love to send you the music of my sons The Pinder Brothers. Pop/Rock with creative melodies, counter melodies and lyrically interesting. Even though the corrupt managers and music companies have tried to manipulate and control creativity, the singer songwriter is still out there, experimenting with lyrics and shaping sound for us.

____________________________________________

From: Kevin Kiley
Subject: Re: A Little More Moody Blues

Hi Bob

Nice to see Justin's thoughts on B's take on his song. She (Bettye) is flattered.
BTW, I went to Spotify and it appears that all of her output is there.
Not sure why it didn't show for you.

P.S. One other thing on B's version.

It was done in one take. When it was over, everyone just said "Yeah, that's it."
The players did an excellent job. Rob Mathes added the strings at Abbey Road and that was it.

(Note: Needless to say, Spotify search is spotty.)

____________________________________________

From: Steve Lukather
Subject: Re: Rhinofy-This Week In 1968

Damn the soundtrack of my childhood Bob.
I LOVE all these records so much.
The whole 60's era of music will never get old to me.
The songs, the production the musicians, and let us not forget the STUDIO players in LA-NYC-Nashville-London and Motown!!
Oh the bands were great too but many had ' ringers' ya know. THE guys.

And the singers!
Nothing remotely close today for me.

Everyone uses the same f**king plug in's and over compression on everything and the same drum samples etc..
It is like seeing how many twinkies you can shove in your urethra. Painful and pointless.

Quick trivia here:
The guy who WAS the 'Green Tambourine' was legendary studio percussionist and someone I love so dearly.. Joe Porcaro, Father of Jeff, Mike and Steve Porcaro and who's house I spent most of my life changing years from 15 years old on..
The inspiration, music, love and lessons that came from that house will stay with me forever.

Love from New Zealand
Luke

____________________________________________

From: Doak Turner
Subject: You two talk

Larry and bob - you two connect! Larry wrote "Bend Me, Shape Me" and also "Rhinestone Cowboy".

Thanks for mentioning "Bend Me, Shape me" on your blog this week. I sent it to Larry.

There ya go Larry!
Doak

____________________________________________

From: Larry Weiss
Subject: HELLO

Hello Bob..enjoyed reading your blog..

The interesting thing about 'Bend Me Shape Me', at least to me, (I am one of the two writers of the song), was that the American Breed version was covered in the UK by a group called Amen Corner..what was interesting was that their version changed the entire chorus melody...and the song still became a hit alongside the American Breed's version, who shared the charts in the UK..really strange..

There's also a wonderful story behind how 'Rhinestone Cowboy' became a hit..I had the original version out a year before..my version literally blue-printed Glen's which was produced by Lambert & Potter..and which Glen mentioned many times, he would have liked to have had his voice on..Glen heard my version on the radio in L.A. and in Australia where it charted somewhat..and literally pulled off the road to listen to it..when his project was about to get going, Glen and Lambert and Potter marched into Capitol's office with my album under their arms..the head of the company had the same vision with a copy waiting on his desk. Glen's album project began with four sides including mine..Glen then gets a call to participate in a L.A. telethon and performs the song..Paul Drew, then head of the most powerful radio network (RKO), sees Glen on the on show, and inquires if he has recorded the song. He knew the song, because he had considered adding my version a few times but for whatever the reason, had not. Drew calls Capitol Records asking to hear Glen's version and receives a reference copy delivered by Harvey Cooper, who was then handling marketing and promotion chores for Lambert and Potter.. Drew puts the reference copy on the air forcing the record out! Capitol scrambled to complete the album..the rest has become history..but the saga continues..there will be a 'Rhinestone Cowboy' musical later this year..

Best..Larry Weiss

____________________________________________

Subject: Re: Rhinofy-This Week In 1968

Trivia… At least a couple of the guys in the Classics IV were also in ARS. They got to have a hit with the same tune twice in two decades! And the singer on Bend Me Shape Me was Gary Loizzo. He used the money from the tune to build a recording studio which he still runs. And he tours as the live sound engineer for Styx most of the year. Been with them side the '90s. He told me once that he sang the song in a karaoke contest on a cruise ship and lost!

Thanks for a great playlist. I may have to start up Spotify again...

Bill Evans
Content Visionary

____________________________________________

From: Bob Merlis
Subject: "Nobody But Me" by The Human Beinz

Was a cover. It's an Isley Bros. song (as was "Twist and Shout" which many assume is a Beatles original).

Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jf5zXwgv5M4

____________________________________________

Subject: An interesting "Nobody But Me" story

Bob,

A friend of mine, John Golden, owns a mastering studio in Ventura, CA. (He's mastered LPs for Chris Isaak, Sonic Youth, Primus, and tons of others.) Decades ago he had a moderately successful local band in northeastern Ohio, called the UnCalled Four. One of the highlights of their stage show was their own arrangement of the Isley Brother's tune, "Nobody But Me." Another local northeastern Ohio band, The Human Beinz, caught their show, and copied the arrangement. And that became the hit.

Here's a picture of the Uncalled Four: http://www.carlsguitarcorner.com/links/uncalledfour.html

Here's The Uncalled Four's arrangement: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfNPNG0YgjI

Carl Grefenstette

____________________________________________

From: Joel Selvin
Subject: "I Wish It Would Rain" The Temptations

Lyrics taken from a suicide note. Check the writers. One you never heard of ... that's the guy.

____________________________________________

From: Joel Selvin
Subject: "Chain Of Fools"

Give Ellie Greenwich the props. Wexler played the track for her and she suggested and sang the "Whoop-whoop" vocal parts. She's credited as vocalist, but it was all her idea. Wexler went back in the studio for her to do it.

____________________________________________

Subject: Re: Rhinofy-This Week In 1968

Hey Bob,

Just a quick footnote or two on "Chain of Fools" by Aretha Franklin, in my view one of the great tracks by the Muscle Shoals Rhythm Section.

To begin with, the wobbly-sounding vibrato guitar is none other than Joe South, and despite the fact that it's a little out of tune, it adds the perfect "Pop" Staples feel to the song, enhancing its gospel roots - although Don Covay wrote this song, it's really a re-write of a gospel song called "Pains of Life."

Next, the rhythm guitar part by Jimmy Johnson is one of the rarely noticed but key elements in the Muscle Shoals sound. Jimmy's Gretsch is played almost like a percussion instrument, adding immeasurably to the groove.

And what a groove Roger Hawkins lays down! He is so perfectly in the middle of the pocket that the track just pulses irresistibly - you cannot hold still when you hear it. Every fill is a perfect lesson in economy and when he goes to the bell of his ride cymbal in the last verse, everything soars.

Of course, Aretha's masterful vocal is the main ingredient, but the way she plays off the groove the musicians, are laying down, especially in the first verse, makes me wonder if she could have sung it as well with any other band.

I went to school on this and many other records involving Aretha, the Muscle Shoals Rhythm Section, and Jerry Wexler. This particular track is a national treasure.

Best,
John Boylan

____________________________________________

From: Roxanne Tellier
Subject: Re: Rhinofy-This Week In 1968

Hi Bob,

terrific column, as always. Every one of these songs goes through my head regularly.

But here's a little information I found recently that's a bit disturbing. The song, "Chain of Fools" is pretty much a complete ripoff of an earlier gospel song, and largely uncredited.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdcLUN8K998 "Pains of Life" Elijah Fair

Considering that "Chain" basically broke Aretha, and won so many awards, it's terribly sad that the original has been given such short shrift. Here's the wiki:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chain_of_Fools

____________________________________________

From: Kenny Lee Lewis
Subject: Re: Rhinofy-This Week In 1968

Harry Middlebrooks, who used to tour with Elvis as a backup singer, and was a regular guest on Lawrence Welk, wrote Spooky. He is the godfather to my kids. Still performing in the Valley on weekends. Great southern gentleman from Atlanta.

____________________________________________

From: Carlos Delgado-Imbert
Subject: green tambourine video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxm19NBAcfc

____________________________________________

From: Michael Solomon
Subject: Re: Rhinofy-This Week In 1968

I'm sure you know this, Bob, but Paul Leka produced the early Harry Chapin records in his studio in Bridgeport.

I was Harry's co-road manager and sound mixer from 1974-1978 and spent a lot of time at that studio.

____________________________________________

From: Bobby Poe
Subject: Re: Rhinofy-This Week In 1968

Hi Bob,

First let me say I love your Rhinofy playlists and "This Week In 1968" brings back a lot of memories. But one thing that drives me nuts with Spotify are the remakes of classic tracks, even (or maybe especially) if they are by the original artists. The most blatant example on Spotify are the early tracks by Badfinger that have been rerecorded. And K-Tel is notorious for compiling rerecorded versions.

On the other hand, occasionally it takes me 10 times of listening before I can go, "That version is bogus!" I believe there are two cases of this on your playlist: "Bend Me Shape Me" and "Love Is Blue". I must admit the rerecorded version of "Bend Me Shape Me" is perhaps the best I've ever encountered. And to me, the version of "Love Is Blue" just sounds a tiny bit off...but I would still bet money it's not the original version.

I mention this not to be a dick, but because like you, I look as the music of our youth as a precious heritage to be passed on. If I'm wrong, I will stand corrected and try not to obsess over it for days. But if I'm correct, I hope all of your disciples will listen and speak up when the music is not quite the music of yesteryear.

Best Regards,

Bobby Poe, Jr.

____________________________________________

From: Elliot Mazer
Subject: Re: The Eagles Movie

Bob
Bernie Leadon was with Linda at that time too. He played on Silk Purse which I produced. He is an amazing musician whose goals were different than those of Henley and Glen.

Eagles knew that combing desirable music with sex appeal was the way to go. Get on stage and play great and sell the music.

Other artists made fun of them, and everybody wanted their success. There was a sign in Bruce Dickinson's office at Columbia Records saying "Blame It On The Eagles" They were the first band to spend a year making an album. They edited and cloned stuff on tape the way people use Pro Tools today. But knew what they wanted to do and they stuck to is until is was right.

Great songs make great records and that is how they succeeded.

No circus stunts.
Nothing but music and sex

Elliot

____________________________________________

Subject: Re: The Eagles Movie

Hey Bob - I was playing in a high-end cover band a few years ago, and we were booked for a birthday party at a ritzy country club in Dallas. We got a call the night before the gig that the woman hosting the party had donated an enormous sum of money to Walden Woods Project, and in exchange Don Henley had agreed to sing a song at her husband's party. We had a last minute rehearsal and learned 'Life in the Fast Lane.' Henley sang the song once with us at sound check, and again at the gig. I believe it was his daughter's birthday, too, but he took time away from his family to benefit the charity. He sounded terrific.

A few weeks later, we got a note from Don - he said that he had played in similar bands earlier in his career, and that we played the song well. He also included a large check to the band, from his own pocket, to thank us for the extra work. In addition to being a legendary musician, the guy is truly a class act - I can't wait to see this movie!

Patrick Donahue
www.therusttones.com

____________________________________________

Subject: Re: The Eagles Movie

Bob .. you are so singing my tune when talking about the Eagles.

I grew up in a small town in East Texas just down the road from Henley's home town - Linden, TX - another East Texas small town. While Don was long gone to California when I was coming of age, his legacy remained ... how cool was it for this small town ET girl to get to meet people who knew - or claimed to know - or played in bands or recorded with a guy in he "best band ever"! Or at least that was their story ... and the stories grew as the Eagles spotlight grew!

I even had my own once removed close encounter. It was nearing the holidays and I was working at Zales selling Seiko watches while going to college. Hotel California was out and like most of my friends, I had the cassette tape in my car and knew every word to every song ("Wasted Time" was "my song" ... an ode to my youthful melancholy I guess). It was about this time that I met Mrs. Henley (aka Donnie's mom, as she explained to me). She happened into Zales while I was working one day. When I realized who she was (and it went something like "You're from Linden ... your name is Henley .. are you related to Don Henley???!" to which she replied, "why, yes I am! are you a friend of Donnie's?"), I told her that, no I unfortunately wasn't a friend of Donnies, but I sure did love his band and she said she'd let him know. No idea if she ever told him that he had a fan at Zales in the Marshall Mall, but doubtful. However I was NOW one of those with a story! I had my own "connection" to the "best band ever" in the form of Donnie's mom! A few weeks later Mrs. Henley showed up at Zales again - looking for me! - and with a small family photo album in hand (you know, those things we used to carry around when photos were something you held and touched ... sort of like music albums used to be). I spent my break that day going through the album with Mrs. Henley ... "This is Donnie in ROTC, This is Donnie in the backyard, oh, and this is Donnie and Linda ..."! And some 30 yrs later, I still love to tell people about the day I rubbed elbows with the mom of the drummer / singer / writer of the BEST BAND EVER!

Denise Nichols
The Primacy Firm, LLC
Nashville TN

____________________________________________

Subject: Re: Getting Old

Hi Bob,

Got to say, loved your elegant Getting Old rant - full of wisdom and grace and hard-earned life lessons. I'm sitting in a hotel room in Bilbao, Spain and its been raining for three days. Anyway, the longer I stay on the road, the less I leave the hotel rooms. God bless room service and iTunes films. Just played 3 sold out shows here, not huge venues but all beautiful theaters, wonderful audiences and I'm about as happy as I'm gonna get when I'm taking in that applause. Believe me, I know how lucky I am to have found my niche here in Europe over 30 years ago thanks to the incredible American music business of the 1970's that put me on the map, gave me a start, gave me a bona fides stamp on my musical passport so that the rest of the world might take me seriously. I've witnessed as some of my peers became as wealthy and powerful as kings while talented others were tossed in the dustbin of rock history. Well, I'm neither rich nor famous but those terms don't define success for me anymore. I've been able to make a living doing what I love for 40 years, put out 30+ albums and played over 2000 shows but you know what is most gratifying? That I put my son through college. How can I complain?

"Will you still need me, will you still feed me when I'm 64 ..." That's what I'll be in two months. Forget about retiring. I'm still hungry and full of impossible dreams. My son Gaspard just got a record contract for his band in France and is recording his first album and asks my advice about everything. That's the equivalent of me, when I was making my first album in 1973, asking the advice of someone who began recording in ... 1933! Ain't life grand!

Hasta luego,
Elliott Murphy

____________________________________________

Subject: Re: Getting Old

What you said..........plus all those nubile young females! I know I
could still give them the best orgasms of their lives, but only very,
very rarely do I ever even get a remote chance from the youngsters. I
have now lived long enough to know what a dirty old man is and it is me!

Willie Perkins

____________________________________________

Subject: RE: Getting Old

I've been told that you know when you're old when you wake up and everything
is stiff but your prick.

Enjoy your columns.

Fred Smith
Hard Core Country CHRW 94.9 FM

____________________________________________

From: Ross Fitzsimons
Subject: Re: Martin Elbourne On HMV

Another one (Blockbuster UK) bites the dust:

http://gu.com/p/3d5z5

Martin's right. And there are many reasons for HMV's failure - it's not all about migration to film and music streaming and downloads.

1. The property market: UK retail property is largely owned by financial institutions and backed by pension funds. Retail is changing fast, but rent yields are still based on the old model. With UK retail space heading toward 20% vacancy, rents will have to come down if occupancy rates are to rise. This didn't happen in time for HMV, saddled with high rents from the period of big consumer spending in the early 2000s, when we all seemed to think the party would go on forever. Banks and pension funds are heading for another big haircut in the retail property market, as they will have to revalue their portfolios "significantly downward" over the next two or three years.

2. Lack of investment in online and digital: Despite management's desire to take the company digital, apparently funds were not forthcoming from the board to invest in the necessary development. Board directors representing the institutional investors (remember them?) insisted on maintaining high dividends to keep the share price up, thereby ensuring there was little money available to develop the company. A share worth $2.50 four years ago, crashed to a few cents last year, meaning those banks and pension funds have lost $2bn+.

3. Supermarkets: The grocers, as we call them in the UK, discovered CD and DVD over the past decade, and undercut HMV with loss-leading offers on major film and music releases. They will sell a new hit movie for £5 ($8) on DVD, which is less than the studio charges them (or HMV) to buy it. The grocers have no range, often only stocking the Top 20, but have taken away this crucial volume business from HMV. Record companies and film studios rushed headlong into this arrangement, despite ("allegedly") having to give 40%-50% discounts, major marketing commitments and 100% returns allowances, terms they ("reportedly") wouldn't grant HMV, who were expected to continue stocking range without benefiting as much as they used to from big releases. The consequent pressure on entertainment company margins has also seen major losses accrue for... those banks and pension funds again.

4. Government's approach to VAT (sales tax in the US): Online retailers (Amazon and others) used a tax loophole to set up in the Channel Islands (no VAT there) and sell discs without the 15-20% VAT levied on UK physical stores. Government refused to change the tax law, so HMV set up in the islands too, but lack of investment in their online offer (thanks to the banks and pension funds) meant they never competed effectively. I believe US states are now finally facing down this same issue with online retailers.

These are just a few of the other issues which contributed to the demise of a 111-year-old company that had been in entertainment retail since 1921, when Sir Edward Elgar officially opened the first store in Oxford Street in London.

Martin's completely correct about the consequent changes he identifies. I suggest you can add the adjustment to pension funds and financial institutions as they revalue their property portfolios downward. The Big Shakeup continues.

Be well.

Ross

____________________________________________

Subject: Re: Zoe & Amanda Respond

I was the Dresden Dolls marketing person in their time at Roadrunner, and as such, I find the idea of ANY independent-minded person taking shots at Amanda to be completely and utterly laughable.

Through the sometimes rocky road we walked in that time, she had a long term vision and unwavering loyalty to her fans, her vision, and to the creative people around her that had gotten her to that point. The label would have welcomed working with other video directors, photographers, producers, etc... for far more money. But Amanda knew what - and who - worked for the band, and kept the work within that trusted circle.

At the label as well, she knew who was working hard for her, and she was consistently cool with and appreciative of them. Certainly said no sometimes, but did so nicely enough. Left pleasant notes for staff on their desks when they weren't around. She motivated- either just to be nice, or to win. Or both. What difference does it make?! Is that being a user, or is it being someone that will eventually succeed in their chosen field?

I left Roadrunner before she did, so maybe all that changed... but I doubt it. Being in management now, thats where you see how important that self-assurance and long term vision is. There are no scarier words to hear from an artist than 'I'll be whatever you people think I should be!'.

Instead of trolling, the haters should be taking notes on how to do the work, and grow something authentic and all their own.

Bob Johnsen

____________________________________________

Subject: Re: Amanda Palmer

One thing about Amanda is that she has such a tight underground network because 99% of the stuff she doesn't give a s**t whether people see it or not.

She doesn't get pleasure out of ego. She simply lives and dies to keep art progressing.

7 months ago she donated to my Kickstarter. It didn't get funded, but who gives a s**t at this point ( http://kck.st/WfMVCa ). The fact is that only 3 people contributed to the project, and one of them was Amanda Palmer, who I worked with years ago for an orchestra concert. What major rockstar is climbing into the depths of an unknown corner of the globe to support an underfunded person they met 4 years ago? Would they even make time to say hello to you, or recognize you, as opposed to give you their hard earned cash?

When everyone was screaming last year about her "not paying artists" or taking advantage of them or whatever, I couldn't believe it because nothing could be further from the truth. But I won't rehash the sides of that argument because it's all been said.

If you're going to highlight how she's a star and works her ass off, I would like to highlight how authentic, transparent, and caring she is.

There are a lot of hard working people in the world, there are a lot of nice people, and there a lot of people who actually care about the artform as opposed to themselves. But to get all 3 is rare, and that's why Amanda is loved. The only way you'll find someone's true character is to see how they act behind closed doors.


Walt Ribeiro
For Orchestra
walt@fororchestra.com
http://fororchestra.com

____________________________________________

From: Ife Mora
Subject: Re: Amanda Palmer

Bob,
Oh and by the way, I am married to a celebrity chef (Aaron Sanchez). He does all the restaurants for The House of Blues and is always on TV. You think that has helped me get any gigs or get more people to come out to my shows or get booking agents or record labels interested? The answer to that is a big fat NO.
Ife

____________________________________________

From: BERTON AVERRE
Subject: Re: RIchard Marx

I agree with the main point that Richard Marx makes a mistake when he gets down into the mud with guys writing snide things about him on the internet. The phrase "punching down" is apt, but you must also remember that long after you've left the ring, the guy with the pen (or the radio mic) can keep the argument going, on his terms, as long as he wants. It's a no-win situation. The urge to tell someone insulting you to shut the f**k up already is strong, yes, but the wise course is to ignore it and continue to live your life, which from Marx's description does indeed sound like a very fulfilling one.

Having said that, my main takeaway from this story isn't Richard Marx's actions or reactions, or even the relative righteousness/pettiness of the blogger, but the wrath and contempt people feel for performers whose music they don't like. Its source is the love people feel for their favorites, but unlike that love the resentment spewed out at the Richard Marxes of the world is an utter waste of energy.

I can't say I don't understand this backlash mentality. There are a lot of TV shows I think are great, and a whole lot I think are execrable -- and which invariably get much bigger ratings than my favorites. I'd be lying if I said there wasn't part of me that thought dark thoughts about the people who watch those shows: my elitism raises its ugly head and I mourn for probably the fifth time that day how truly stupid a nation we've become. So, I get it. But guess what? I've watched shows that would lead people to conclude that I was pretty stupid. I listen to (and love) music that a whole lot of people would condemn with that unmatchable stamp of doom, "lame". Doesn't stop me from getting my big dose of love from listening. So why should I (or any of us) begrudge Richard Marx fans from loving his music, just because I don't like it, or I cringe the tiniest bit to read he outsells The Beach Boys and Dylan? Music isn't zero sum: The Kinks and Steely Dan exist whether or not there's a Barry Manilow (who of course is a very good musician in his own right, so there you go).

I always tell the story, but I'll say it again: back in the day, when having a hit on the radio meant my opinion mattered to some people, I got a kick out of telling them (100% truthfully) that I loved The Sex Pistols, and I loved Abba. Then I'd sit back and watch their heads explode. When the rock and pop music world is healthy, there's room for a whole lot of artists to please a whole lot of people. Listening to "Dancing Queen" adds three minutes of pleasure to your life, and those three minutes of pleasure you got from listening to "God Save The Queen" isn't changed one iota.

____________________________________________

Subject: Berklee School of Music Outcome

Bob,

I wrote you a few months back about your discussion in regards to the merits of someone attending Berklee and its associated cost. I told you that instead of going to the school Jacob decided to try and find someone in the music industry that he respected as an artist to help him become a better writer and player. I told him that the odds of someone agreeing to work with a 17 year old were slim but to try. He decided to reach out to Jules Shear. He loved Jules music and his way with clever insightful lyrics. We knew he lived in Woodstock and just tried first to look on white pages.com. There he was. Jules and his wife Pal Shazar. So I called. He was wonderful, but I could tell he was hesitant to work with someone so young. We talked and he asked me send him some music that Jacob could not finish or was having trouble developing. Jacob sent him some of his work and Jules really liked it. He asked us to come visit Woodstock and maybe something just might develop. The two of them hit it off immediately and wrote several songs. Jules told him the same thing that you have preached. There can be no plan B, no alternative plans. You have the talent but have to work hard every day. Practice, play, write, go play in front of no one, practice some more, play out even more...and get better. Jules enjoyed the experience so much that he asked Jacob back to his home to write again. So off he went, 17 years old to Woodstock to spend 5 days with Jules and Pal, in their home living and breathing music and art.

Jacob came home just exploding with ideas. He dove into his craft and has never looked back. He immediately called a friend and they went into the studio to record the songs he wrote with Jules. They turned out amazing. He sent the song California to Jules. I was having dinner when my phone rang. It was Jules. He told me that what he heard was just incredible and was very proud of Jacob. Based on the strength of the songs and recordings, which someone referred to as Jules Shear with technology or on steroids, we got a call from someone in Nashville who loved the songs and wanted to work with and manage Jacob.

Who knows where this might end. But it does not matter. What an experience for Jacob. He talks to Jules regularly and Jules continues to preach hard work, which Jacob is doing. He plays, writes, and is now rehearsing with a band to hopefully showcase. Record labels have called and we are taking it slow but steady. But as you have said over and over it is the music, the songs that matter. That is what Jules keeps telling Jacob. Make great music. And that is something that in my view most music schools cannot preach. Not like Jules Shear. These are great songs.

Take a listen and I think you will really enjoy. The songs he wrote with Jules are Cali and All Over Now. The others he wrote himself.

http://soundcloud.com/jacobkleinmusic

www.jacobkleinmusic.com

Thanks very much

Michael Klein

____________________________________________

From: Peter Buffett
Subject: Beck poster in the New Yorker

Bob -

I've never written you before you write first. But I know you're a New Yorker reader.. and the minute I saw the Beck tie in with the "Lincoln Motor Company" my heart sank. And then I thought of you.
"what would Bob say?"

Being a huge Beck fan and always thinking he was the hipster outside the law... it was incredibly disappointing to see this. I felt embarrassed for him and me.

Strangely, I'm reporting my feelings to you. :-)

Peter
____________________________________________

From: Fiftysomething L.A. Woman
Subject: Re: The Women Of L.A.

This is great, and so true. What I've heard over and over again from my several young lovers is that this is the case. Not that they can't get laid. They're not rich, but they're handsome, hot, smart, educated, cool, musicians or filmmakers, and they have lives. Not geeks or nerds, but sexy young men. They're aren't players, but sincere, thoughtful, creative, adventurous guys trying to figure out their lives.

They find these women so unattractive on a number of levels, and wish for a woman they can connect with on their level. They of course hang out with me because we have hot sex, and they find me attractive for an older women, and I don't lay the expectations that the young women would on them, because really it's not going to have a future beyond friendship. They also like to hang out with me because I'm real and cool, I listen to them, and I'm into the music they're into as well - plus, vinyl!

I'm laughing through my orgasms because these young hot women are missing out big time. One one them actually IM'd me on (dating site). She lives in the Palisades, is a professional with a Masters degree, hot body, long blond hair, gorgeous face. Does triathlon training every day!!

Her mood was plaintive. She messaged me to chat, and as we chatted she remarked that we were both hot women who love to cook, yet neither of us have a boyfriend. I wrote back that I was happy, and it didn't really matter if I had one, I was having fun. Then I looked at her profile and the long list of requirements a guy had to fulfill to qualify for a date with her. Wow, too much! Who could jump through all those hoops??

I suggested she chill out a bit and go out with some guys who may not fit all of her requirements, and have a little fun. She complained that she would have to do everything to make the guy happy but might not get what she wants. So sad she is so misinformed . . . and though I don't want you to get the idea I'm having an orgy of young men, there have been handful of lovers these past several years, and it's been great, from age 22-34, and they all tell me the same thing about not being able to relate to these women, and they wish there were women their age who were more like me!

This is a fine video and I hope there are more like it that come out.


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The Women Of L.A.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBiR2rKU69U&feature=youtube_gdata_player

We're in the midst of a creative renaissance.

Facebook is dying, geeks get all the press, but we're living in a heyday of art. It's the majors' worst nightmare, from the networks to the labels to the studios. They used to be in control. They had the money needed for production and had a lock on distribution. If you wanted to play with them you needed to kiss butt and sell out, be who they wanted you to be.

But now those days are through. The means of production are in the hands of the proletariat. And distribution is free. For all the B.S. about cable, our national television set is YouTube.

Everyone can play.

But that does not mean everyone is good.

But if you're fantastic, and willing to play for the long haul, be great for years until the audience catches up with you, you can become a cultural icon overnight, like DJ Lubel.

What I like most is the backlash. Those who've been doing it forever yet haven't broken through themselves:

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/women-la-earns-a-shaming-421710

That's when you know you've made it. When you've got haters. When others are complaining you're taking their place in line. If you haven't been accused of being misogynist, dated and politically incorrect, you're too bland to make it. Yes, today it's all about edge. Monoculture was so nineties. When we all watched the same manufactured crap on MTV. Today it's all about being an individual. Starting out in the trenches of nicheland, waiting for your rocket ship to ubiquity.

And it all depends on creativity. Art. Inspiration.

Money comes last.

Credit PSY. With that horsey dance. Come on, that's what made the video so successful. And juxtaposition of a too-old, too-chubby singer with oodles of production. You're supposed to be young and thin, like the models at Fashion Week. For all the hype fashion gets, it's truly irrelevant, it's a way for the untalented to stand out. Because if you're talented, it's what's on the INSIDE that counts!

Come on, take a look at DJ Lubel. He's got what's called a "weak chin." If he were better looking and trying to make it on network TV he'd get plastic surgery, he'd have to!

THE RULES

1. Repeatability

If you don't want to immediately click to replay, you've done it wrong. It's not for once, it's for MANY!

2. The Rules Are Made To Be Broken

The pros will tell you to cut to the hook immediately, that no one has time unless you're immediately great. But the flip side is if virality kicks in, it will cause those caught up in the tsunami to spend time, just to figure out what all the hype is about.

So in this case, you've got an intro that works better the second or third time through. You see the first time you watch long enough to get hooked on the song, then you want to go back and see what you missed!

3. The Concept

Contrast the personal with the mainstream. Everybody wants to get laid, believes he can get laid. But what's the reality?

4. Position Yourself With Facts

IT'S THE SECOND BIGGEST CITY IN THE COUNTRY!

Yup, you should be able to get laid in L.A. But you CAN'T! You've seen the SoCal lifestyle everywhere from the box to magazines to rap videos...and you want to get a piece of that yourself. And in this everyone's a winner culture, where you get a sports trophy for participating, you think you can win the L.A. game too... But you CAN'T! Not unless you're beautiful, famous or rich. Normal doesn't work. No one cares if you went to an Ivy League college. It's the opposite of the east coast. It's all the NOW! Who are you NOW?

5. Know Your Technique

It's Moviemaking 101. Bring in the sound from the next scene in this one. You think you can make it with no skills, that the equipment is enough. But this is untrue. You can get a Pro Tools rig, but that does not make it SING!

6. Cameos

Pauly Shore, Mr. Belding and Jaleel White?

You think you want stars, you want someone hip, but the truth is EVERYBODY knows these characters, you juxtapose them from losers to winners and your audience finds it HILARIOUS!

7. Lyrics

If you're bothering to say something, it'd better be good.

8. Hooks

Without them, you're nothing and nowhere. The chorus is established quickly, getting the audience to nod its head.

9. The Story

You've got to have something to say. At 1:01 when the tale begins, you're enraptured, the blonde who does a 180 upon seeing the geek with the primered car is PRICELESS!

10. Images

The woman looking around the room for the bigger, better deal at 1:30 is so REAL!

11. REFERENCES!

They tie you to the audience! Bland is for Mariah Carey and the rest of the laughable pop songstresses. Come on, when the guy references RUNYON you laugh hysterically, that's where all the upwardly mobile girls work out in L.A. Hell, you've got to be beautiful to score some of that first class dick. And there's Canter's and RAGE and even CASA VEGA, the Valley's Mexican hangout! And when the whole thing breaks down to show the regular women of the Valley there... The juxtaposition between fantasy and reality is so jarring as to have more truth than the 6:30 news. It's like having DJ Lubel star opposite Angelina Jolie, or be the love interest on "The New Girl." Hollywood has lost touch, truth is online.

12. Truth

The BUTTS! At 2:06! Everyone has a great body if they starve themselves to death. If you haven't seen these butts in L.A., you're BLIND!

13. Insider References

I'LL NEVER GET RID OF MY 516!

Don't play for everyone. A true artist sneaks in stuff that only the few will get, but these few are the ones who spread the word!

14. The Dream!

I'll blow Ryan Murphy! Join the cast of "Glee"! Go to Soho House for free!

That's L.A! That's what traditional making it is all about! Most people never make it, but you can short cut all of that, have the desirables come to you, if you just put one foot in front of the other, challenge convention, and do something so damn good we can't help but tell everybody else.

15. Mashup Genres!

In mainstream media everything is narrow, genre-specific. When suddenly we're onstage in the Broadway moment, our entire lives come into focus. We've done everything, watched TV, read books, gone to plays...this guy is JUST LIKE US!

16. THE PIECE DE RESISTANCE!

At 3:46!

It's unexpected, it's like "I Sing The Body Electric" at the end of "Fame." And when the woman in the balcony starts singing about a hand job...you're SOLD!

17. The Finale

Most people can't finish. But DJ Lubel does.

"So what do I do?"

MOVE BACK TO NEW YORK!

That's what most do. They're not up to the challenge. They're not willing to get skinny, rich and beautiful. They're not willing to do the work and make it. They want their college degree to count. But in L.A...IT'S MEANINGLESS!

As is your degree from Berklee, Syracuse, even Yale Drama School. All that stuff is passe. Now it's all about your work. You learned the skills along the way, from PowerPoint to Final Cut Pro. Now what can you do with it? SHOW US!

And you won't have to tell a soul. All you'll have to do is post it. The vultures, everybody looking for something great to pass on, will do so.

"The Women Of LA" is already a success. You don't need to reach a hundred million, that's for Bieber and the rest of the kids afraid of losing their power. No, you just need to get a toehold, get a presence, and keep working, the audience will carry you.

It's the Frank Zappa paradigm. "The Women Of LA" is straight out of his oeuvre. Even down to the primered front fender, from "You Didn't Want To Call Me." Yes, we loved Frank, because he knew it was all B.S. He didn't want to slime himself, get dirty and sell out, he wanted to do it his way. Now EVERYBODY CAN!

Ignore those people looking for a record deal, money, some way to get ahead.

It's all on you today. Can you reach down deep inside and titillate our fancy?

DJ. Lubel did.

Fire up this video. Click on the gear and select the highest quality, 1080pmqHD. And if the image stutters, call your cable company and upgrade your connection. Because bandwidth is what it's all about. Today you need the tools.

And once you've got them...

It's all up to you.

We'll be watching.

Or not.


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