Saturday 7 July 2018

Snail Mail

Spotify: https://spoti.fi/2zpWuKu

YouTube: https://bit.ly/2r1IMGW

I ignored the hype.

But then I got hooked by the banner on Spotify.

Oh, you can turn it off. Over to the right, in grey, it says "Hide Announcements," and then these banners will disappear, but do you want them to?

I don't want to read another story of a musician wise beyond his or her years. Yes, there was that story in the "Times" the other month, I always glance, skim a bit, since this is my world, but I don't go online and listen, because if I did I'd have no time left at all, and so much of what is promoted is not worth a listen, at least not in a world where the history of recorded music is at your fingertips. But a banner on Spotify? You had to convince the powers-that-be that your music has value and you're supporting it.

And to be truthful, I don't know how many subscribers got this Spotify banner. But I did read all about the backlash to the Drake "Scorpion" banner. And on one hand I get it, but on another I don't. I mean how hard is it to ignore? But truthfully, it was overdone, in a race to compete with Apple Music, in order to placate Drake, in order to have a big first week number, which is no different from the old system, but promoting Snail Mail?

This is not a review in the newspaper, not a review on Pitchfork, not a street team infecting my inbox/social media. Rather, the largest music company on the planet, the one the most people listen to, is giving real estate to this unknown act, I'm gonna listen.

And I was surprised, I didn't immediately click it off.

Now only two types of music are promoted. Well, three. Starting with the least important is the oldsters running on fumes with new music, which often goes unlistened to, no matter how good a job the PR person does. And then there's the hip-hop, and the pop. It's gotten to the point where if you're not a fan of those genres, you tune out all music promotion, you've been burned too many times.

And then you hear something like Snail Mail.

I don't want to know she's from Baltimore, I don't want to know she was a hockey fanatic, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW SHE'S NINETEEN YEARS OLD, I just want to listen to the MUSIC!

And that's what I did when I clicked through, I scrolled through to find the most played cuts. And I started with the two in seven figures (that's over a million for the math-challenged), first "Heat Wave," figuring it was a good chance it was a cover.

But it's not.

Now I know nothing about this act, I've done no research, I don't plan to spend a ton of time, all I know is there's a blond girl in the picture. But there's a vibe that resonates, something dark, which appeals to me, especially in an era where everybody's telling me how much better they are than I am.

And then came the guitars.

Wait a minute, is this rock? Made by a woman? Why isn't the world all over this?

Not that this is Jade Bird. I can't say there's an immediate hit, something I can point you to that you'll get immediately. But as I'm listening to "Heat Wave," there's a break with guitarwork and I'm thinking if this was 1977, music fans would be all over this. Because that's the way it was, there was a scene, you were a fan and if someone got a major recording contract, you'd pay attention.

But Snail Mail's album "Lush" is on Matador. That's the world we live in, the majors want NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS!

To their detriment. They're too busy chasing "hits," and leaving the rest to indies, to acts doing it all by themselves, which is why Spotify could make headway going straight to acts, or vice versa. Meanwhile, all the hype Matador did was essentially useless. Because print and NPR don't move the needle. BUT A BANNER ON SPOTIFY DOES!

That's right, it's an endcap on steroids. Because there's only one record presented, which you can't ignore, unless you turn announcements off, but why would you do that, you'd be living in the wilderness!

"I'm feeling low
I'm not into sometimes"

You don't want to be second best, you don't want to be a booty call, you want to be PRIMARY, but even though you say no, that does not mean you still don't hurt, still don't desire, still don't fantasize.

So now I'm doing research, because I'm hooked by the MUSIC!

That's when I realize I was exposed to the hype and ignored it.

And I pulled up the lyrics. And they weren't revelatory, but there were some nuggets, like the lines above at the end of "Heat Wave."

Now the lyrics are about teenage/twentysomething problems. Where is my place in the world? Do you like me for who I am? But it's such a change from what is being forced down our throat.

I don't know what happens, I don't know if Snail Mail breaks through. But I'd go to see the act, essentially Lindsey Jordan, at the Troubadour, in a club without a big screen, where it was solely about the music, like it used to be.

So, just when you give up hope, you're inspired. Hopefully this can translate to politics.

And on one hand it's scary, Spotify has so much power. But at least it's promoting worthy material as opposed to spewing falsehoods like those in D.C.

So, used to be if you were a music fan, you were a fan of an act, not a hit. But an act had to have something to say, had to stand for something, had to be authentic, their tunes couldn't be written by committee, they had to be the blood-writings made after opening a vein.

There is definitely something here, it sure ain't exactly clear.

Start with "Heat Wave." Click to "Pristine." Let it play through to "Speaking Terms." This is indie rock, but well-produced and well-played enough not to be too far outside, and Lindsey Jordan has a more than serviceable voice.

THANKS SPOTIFY!


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Friday 6 July 2018

Balkanization

Record companies used to have a formula, they'd cross tracks over from one format to another, ultimately ending up on Top 40 radio.

That doesn't happen anymore.

Prior to the Beatles the music business was a backwater. Of course we listened, but there wasn't that much money in recordings, music was the land of uneducated, although oftentimes brilliant, hustlers. But when the Beatles arrived, so did mania, and dollars.

Yes, the Beatles ushered in the album format. There were LPs before that, but they were just cobbled together creations of a hit or two and filler. But you had to own the Beatle albums, especially starting with "Rubber Soul." And then came FM underground radio.

Of course there was FM before the Beatles, but it was a wasteland of classical and simulcasts. But when the government said you could no longer simulcast your AM programming on FM, the FM airwaves were cast over to innovators, ignored by the brass, who created a responsive listening experience that transfixed listeners and built hit acts, resulting ultimately in Woodstock, when the usual suspects were stunned so many people attended, and the resulting movie garnered even more acolytes. Proving, once again, the news media will tell you where you've been, not where you're going.

And ultimately Lee Abrams codified FM into a hit format, labels were rolling in dough, which was decimated by disco, but then MTV came along to rescue everyone.

Ultimately, MTV played a smorgasbord of hits, records in all formats. If a video was aired, the record sold, and radio followed MTV. We lived in a monoculture, we all talked about the same tracks, with the CD arriving labels and musicians were rolling in dough, and then the internet came along and crashed the system.

And the music industry is still operating on an old paradigm.

It believes in hits. And believes hits permeate the culture, that everybody knows them, but this is patently untrue.

I'm looking at the Mediabase airplay charts in today's "USA Today." And you don't see the Alternative or Active Rock tracks in the Top 40, and even most of the Adult Contemporary, and the Hot Adult Contemporary, tracks don't appear in the Top 40. Almost nothing crosses over. Even though labels still believe this is possible.

Or they've joined the hip-hop train. It's all hip-hop, all the time. You know, go where the money is. But the difference from before is this mainstream format goes unlistened to by a great proportion of the audience. All you'll read about is how big Drake's "Scorpion" is, but compared to the hits of the past, its penetration is de minimis. It's not close to "I Want To Hold Your Hand," it's not close to "Stayin' Alive," it's not close to "Billie Jean," it's a veritable sideshow, even though the press keeps telling us it's the main show, but we live in a monoculture no more, it seems the only monoculture we live in is politics, we may not agree, but we know what the issues are, whereas music is positively balkanized, AND NO ONE WILL ACKNOWLEDGE THIS!

Oh, there's a lot of complaining, about streaming payments and traction. But complaining gets you nowhere, that's a rearguard action, and funny, since music, when done right, is about pushing the envelope.

And at this late date, whole swaths of the public are still not signed up for streaming services. We keep hearing about the horse race between Apple and Spotify, but not about those who've not yet adopted either of these streaming behemoths.

And the audience is crippled by the tyranny of choice. The more options you give, the more the consumer becomes confused and buys NOTHING! This is a well-established paradigm. A salesman should only show two, maybe three options. Given more, people walk out without a purchase. Which is why so many are overwhelmed and are not listening to new music at all.

And major labels' tail is wagged by radio, they pray to radio, even though radio has a separate goal. Radio doesn't care about music, it cares about advertising. They'll air goose farts if people will tune in. And there used to be no other option, but now there is, with the internet, with streaming, but the labels still pay fealty to radio.

So there's chaos in the marketplace.

In truth, there is opportunity, for those who go against the grain. Because everything's easily findable, searchable, streamed for free online. So, if someone gains interest, they can check something out, even though getting someone's attention is more difficult than ever before.

But the major labels just want hits, no bunts. They're afraid of whiffs. They sign fewer acts. Take no chances. Kind of like movie studios, who played to a lowest common denominator and saw their thunder stolen by television.

So if you're making genre specific music other than hip-hop, presently you can't complain when you don't break through. The door is closed. Top 40 won't air it. No way. Nada. Sure, there's an occasional slot for pop, but it's thinner than ever before. And as we consolidate into this niche, more people are left out than are included, the masses go unserviced, to the overall industry's detriment.

Sure, you can make it on the road. Sure, you can hype yourself on social networks. But you cannot get the big push, because the major labels are not interested, even though a giant segment of the audience might be, if they ever heard you.

Meanwhile, we keep hearing about the usual suspects. Dave Matthews was all over the news, he even appeared on the Howard Stern show. But the only place he appears on the radio charts is #6 on Adult Rock, which might be the backwater of backwaters, the smallest of the radio genres. And on Spotify, only eight of the fourteen tracks on his new album have in excess of a million plays, and only one has over two million, the lead-off cut, which has in excess of three million. And this might sound like a lot to you, but the Top 15 of the Spotify U.S. Top 50 have in excess of a million streams A DAY!

In other words, the Dave Matthews Band occupies a very narrow niche. With fans that support the band live, but the DMB is really just a bigger Phish. But they had a hit in the old monoculture, with airplay on VH1 and MTV and Top 40 radio, BUT THAT CAN NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN!

Where does the new Dave Matthews Band get traction?

Meanwhile, we're overwhelmed with reviews and hype for acts that never make it, or when we listen to we go HUH?

And no one is on this.

It's almost like we need a commissioner, to add coherence to the scene, because everybody in it is just flailing, operating under an old paradigm as if one's cheese never moves.

There are unheralded acts that could hit. It's not like last decade, now you could be great and not make it, there's just too much noise in the channel. So you need a champion, but no one with cash and influence wants to invest and take charge, because they're all playing the old hit game, like it's 1985 or something.

The music will change, that we know for sure, it always does.

But in a coherent system, a new sound would trump an old one every few years.

But that doesn't happen anymore. Now hip-hop rules.

"Despacito" made inroads.

But was ignored by the Grammys, old thinkers inured to the old ways, hell, they haven't even caught up with hip-hop.

Left field hits will arrive. Country, like Latin, is burgeoning.

But will it cross over?

Now? No way.

"USA Today Airplay Charts": https://bit.ly/1UjX0ag


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Wednesday 4 July 2018

The Americans

"To lead a better life..."

We went to Bob Windt's rooming house on July 4th. It was on the parade route on Park Avenue in Bridgeport.

What was a rooming house? My parents tried to explain. They don't have these anymore, at least I don't think so, where you rent a room in a house by the week, with the bathroom down the hall. There were always some strange people on the porch, as opposed to the ones we saw all the time. They were the residents. Bob was the tax collector for the city of Stratford, he was the only Republican we knew. His two rooming houses were his supplemental income. Everybody's got a dream, everybody wants something more. And I don't remember much about the parade, other than the Shriner cars, of course, and Mister Softee. We didn't have Mr. Softee in Fairfield, only Good Humour, remember Toasted Almond? But the Mister Softee truck was soft-serve, not that we used that term, I had to move to California to learn it, and you'd get a double cone, one filled with vanilla and one with chocolate. Of course you could get a cone with the same flavor in both holes, but then why get a double? And at this late date I believe we can all agree that vanilla has gotten a bad rap. Yes, the supermarket stuff, the drugstore vanilla, is awful, like licking wallpaper, but ever since Haagen-Dazs invaded America, ever since we've had super-premium ice cream, I've come to realize that when done right, vanilla is exceptional, although I still don't cotton to strawberry, it was my father's favorite, I'll eat it, but it's never my first choice. And one more thing, I remember buying an American flag, with forty nine stars in it, before the following year when Hawaii became a state. Or was it Alaska? Was it the next year? I'm not positive, but that flag is one of my few memories of the fifties.

But the sixties are seared into my brain. That was the decade of possibilities, when we strived to be all we could be. That's right, the Army stole our slogan, just like right-wingers ultimately had long hair, every cultural advance is ultimately adopted by the masses, even Republicans rap. But back then, being against the war, listening to FM radio, that was being on the bleeding edge. We didn't hate America, we just hated some of its policies. But we listened to the tribal drum, the transistor, the Beatles, and we realized, maybe there was another way. We were mortified when we heard the Fab Four smoked dope. But then we did too. And when the San Francisco sound arrived it was us versus them, only every young person was then us, unlike today. But that was the power of the war. You didn't want to get your ass shot off involuntarily, for a cause you could not understand. As for the Domino Theory, it's proven to be about as truthful as the Trickle-Down Theory, the experts always tell us they know best, and I'm not denigrating expertise, I'm just saying they're not always right.

And I remember the Bicentennial. I'm shocked, positively shocked I tell you, that our country is 242 years old. Do we get a celebration at 250? The Bicentennial was kind of a dud. There were the Tall Ships in Long Island Sound, but other than that, we just got fireworks. After Watergate, after the resignation of Nixon, it seemed unseemly to have an over the top celebration, so we didn't, and time marched on. I went to law school. I tried to go straight, it didn't take, and then I no longer recognized the country I was living in.

The eighties were supposed to be the time of prosperity. The nineties even more so. But I'm out of synch with the times. I always do best when everybody else does poorly, and vice versa, and now time is running out of the hourglass. I saw all the kids watching today's parade and I realized it was new to them, they were still optimistic, they didn't know what the future might hold, whereas the sand is running out of my hourglass, and it's so weird. The only bands in the parade were rock, other than the bagpipes, baby boomers playing instruments. I'm not sure young kids do that anymore. Remember when the dream was to be in a band? If you're a boomer, you recall. Now the dream is to become famous. Not that we weren't interested in that either, it's just that you could not be famous for doing nothing, no way, you had to achieve something. Boomers were all about achievement. Before it became about money.

But that's what the millennials do best, make money. They know life is hard, and if you don't fight your way to the top you're going to be left behind. Which is why people all over the world are pissed, they've been left behind. My grandparents came to America with no portfolio. They scraped so my parents could go to school and have a better life. And my dad worked hard so I could be who I wanted to be. Almost no one gets to be who they want to be anymore. Go to a college campus, these are the most practical people on the planet, they don't want to end up with the short end of the stick. But the truth is there's only so much stick to go around, and too many people are being left without. And you can't go backward, as much as I'd like to live in the sixties, globalization is here to stay, but the world is in future shock, the rockers have never recovered from Napster, never mind Spotify, and those who can't make ends meet want to make America Great Again, not knowing that it's only bad for them, and back then wasn't so wonderful, and their best bet is to jet into the future. Kinda like VW and MBZ and BMW. That's right, the EPA may be rolling back emissions regulations, but the Europeans can see the writing on the wall, it's a global business, and the rest of the world is sick of pollution, sick of global warming, but don't tell the left behind Americans this is so. They want the right to drive their SUVs and fill them up with cheap gas when the truth is the jobs are in solar, not coal, and sure, electric cars run on electricity, but the truth is an electric engine is much more efficient, not that facts mean anything in today's world.

So after the parade we went for brunch at the Sebastian. They were roasting a whole pig, I'm a meat eater and proud of it, although cow farts are a problem, but if we all give up meat I'm willing to do so. But you vegetarians and vegans without protein, the joke is on you. It's your health that's in jeopardy. And I'm not saying you can't get enough protein without meat, it's just that it's hard, and most people don't, and my point here is I'm into the greater good, I'm willing to sacrifice, that was the ethos of the sixties, that we're all in it together, but now everyone feels entitled and the joke is on us.

So after a cornhole tournament, which Felice ultimately won, three games to two, we retired to the condo to finish "The Americans." America's greatest strengths, its greatest exports, are entertainment and tech. People are hooked on story, hooked on truth, they want to be taken down a path, the more realistic the better. And I've now streamed six seasons of the show, invested more time than I have on any album this year, because...I like the feeling of a darkened room, suspending disbelief, being carried away, that's why I used to go to the movies, back before all there were were genre flicks. And I'm not giving anything away by saying that the Soviet Union signed weapons treaties, that there were Glasnost and Perestroika, that the Wall fell, and now Mother Russia is run by a dictator. What makes a person want to rule, gain all that power? But the truth is democracy lasted in Russia for a very brief period of time. But when it came...

Everything the spies believed in became untrue, their cause was eviscerated, and thinking about this...this is how life goes, you think you know everything and then you find out you don't, or that someone moved your cheese, the goal is to roll with the changes, as REO so hookily told us to do decades ago.

So...

I don't know if we're at the end, if we had a good run, if it's only downhill from here. We used to be leaders, we used to be compassionate, we used to care, sometimes with an underbelly of an agenda, but if you wanted to know where the world was going, if you wanted hope, if you wanted optimism, you looked to the United States, no longer. Now let me tell you how weird this is. We grew up not only believing we could be all we could be, but that we would be better off than our parents. Meanwhile, almost no one I know has achieved this, their parents did better, in many cases they're living off the financial legacy of their parents. And we believed America was about acceptance, about pushing the envelope, we stopped watching moonshots, we'd seen the trick. Now there are seemingly no tricks left. There just isn't enough money. Taxes are bad, the government is wasteful, so we end up with crashing infrastructure and opportunity for the rich only, meanwhile, there's a religious contingent telling us how to live. God was Dead in the sixties and the irony is he's dead again today, millennials believe less, but a minority is influencing the majority, hell, more people voted for Hillary than Trump, but the Donald believes he's got a mandate, as he lies so much no one can keep track. And I don't care if you're a believer, then again, is it really any different than being a Belieber, or a Durannie, or the fan of any teen phenom? But the truth is America has changed. And to those of us who've been around, it's unrecognizable.

And I feel powerless. Hell, they're gonna confirm a Supreme Court Justice in her forties, someone who can rule for forty years, much longer than I'll be alive. But my sixties ethos survives. I believe we can be better. By coming together. By sacrificing for the greater good. Hell, Jimmy Carter had it right when he said to put on a sweater. He may be out of office, but who can afford to run their A/C full blast anymore? Heat their house to 68, never mind 70?

So I don't know where we're going. But I do know the cynical, those wanting us to jet back to the past, those narcissistic, thinking only about themselves, are not going to lead us to a better future. We know what the truth is, which is why inexperienced 28 year old Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez beat 56 year old Joseph Crowley, along with doing the work. No one in America wants to do the work anymore, other than, ironically, the immigrants. The Mexicans are some of the hardest working people in America, legal and illegal. They want more, they don't complain, they just put their heads down and do their job. But somehow they're the problem. Once people start pointing fingers, beware, because eventually they're going to point the finger at you. No one is inviolate, no one is immune, no one is protected, and the sooner you realize this, the better society gets.

But society is bad now.

The boomers who believed education was primary are pissed they're only professionals, who make a tiny fraction of the income of financiers and techies. So it's not only the underclass, the opioid-addicted, who feel left behind, it's so many Americans, but we refuse to do the hard work to right the ship. So what I do is turn on the television, to be taken away, to learn about life, to experience truth. And what "The Americans" taught me is true believers ultimately lose, the joke is upon them, the key is to be like the denigrated Muhammad Ali, to float like a butterfly and sting like a bee. Yes, he was a public enemy before he ultimately became a hero, proving, once again, that life is long and change happens, and you're best to do what's in your heart or you'll be left out in this game of musical chairs.

Somebody moved America's cheese. The raw statement that we're the Greatest Country In The World didn't help us when the world caught up. So now we're blaming not only the Mexicans, but the Chinese and even the Canadians, everybody but us.

But the problem is us.

And the sooner we realize this the faster we can turn this ship, that we're on, around. Don't tell me I can't go from steerage to the upper deck. Don't lie to me and tell me about upward mobility when the American Dream is more achievable in Europe. As a matter of fact, I've stopped listening to you. Your job isn't to hate online, your job is to face facts, to jump into the future, to adjust.

And we've got a lot of adjusting to do. All of us need to be thinking how good America can be, as opposed to complaining we're not getting enough. The future train is coming down the track. And it'll have a dash of socialism, a safety net for all, and educational opportunities, and if you're denigrating those on welfare, you've missed the point, they're not the problem, you are. Ain't that America, where we never focus on the facts, just the penumbra, let the culture wars decide our future, as if gay marriage would end civilization.

But now I'm getting into the nitty-gritty, and I'm just about worn out with that. Like I said, my optimism is shot. Then again, when I experience great art, when "The Americans" edifies me and entertains me...

I've got hope.


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Tuesday 3 July 2018

Bryan Fogel-This Week's Podcast

Did you see "Icarus"?

You should, but you don't need to to enjoy this podcast.

Bryan Fogel was in director hell. His one feature tanked. What was he gonna do next?

It came to him as he was riding his bike. Something he got hooked on back in Denver, where he grew up. He raced until he had an accident and lost a bunch of teeth and after recovering wondered if it was all worth it. But if he doped, could he win?

That's what you'll learn in this podcast, the reality of doping. It just makes you recover better, it doesn't make you an instant winner.

So outsider Fogel creates a computer company. Then he moves to L.A. and takes acting classes. Starts a showcase. Ends up writing a play that makes it to New York and ultimately becomes a movie. He's a self-starter, he won, but now he was down on his luck.

So he decided to do this movie. Where he doped.

He did not know he would expose the Russian doping ring and get the country banned from the Olympics and win an Oscar in the process.

Yes, some people have big dreams that go unfulfilled. Others don't contemplate the brass ring but reach it just by putting one foot in front of another.

So his original investor insists on a producer who doesn't want to make the movie Fogel wants to. Bryan doesn't want to have a second project be less than it can be, so he convinces the investor to play ball.

And Bryan dopes according to the precepts of Grigory Rodchenkov and...

Now Grigory is in hiding in the U.S. and...

Putin keeps denying it all.

Yes, "Icarus" might ostensibly be about bike racing, but in truth it's about so much more. When Putin lies in the face of damning evidence it makes you wonder what else he's lying about.

Really, you should see "Icarus," it's on Netflix. At first you might think it's a bike racing movie, but hang in there, when the doping story begins...

And be sure to listen to this podcast, not because I made it, but because Bryan Fogel and his story are so FASCINATING!

Listen to a snippet here: https://bit.ly/2tZIcdq

Listen to Bryan Fogel on...

TuneIn: https://listen.tunein.com/bryanfogelletter

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Acast: https://www.acast.com/theboblefsetzpodcast/bryan-fogel

Castbox: https://castbox.fm/episode/Bryan-Fogel-id1099656-id83463568?country=us




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Monday 2 July 2018

It Just Works

Only it doesn't.

Steve Jobs died and we've been living in the dark ages ever since.

Never underestimate the power of an individual. He or she can move mountains, or destroy them, just ask Trump. Geniuses have vision. They deliver what we didn't even know we wanted. And the rest of the purveyors...

Never got the memo.

I'm frustrated.

We arrived at the Colorado condo and they'd installed Wally. Who the hell is that, Beaver's brother, damned if I know. Turns out it's a Dish product. How does it work, with a dish, via the internet, cable?

And it does work, assuming you figure out how to turn on your damn TV, that you now do it with the Wally remote, which has so many buttons it's almost a joke.

That's what Steve Jobs got rid of, the buttons. Simultaneously providing service along the way, with AppleCare and the Genius Bar.

But you hate Apple, unless you love it. Welcome to the polarized United States. Where forty percent of the country think the Donald is doing a good job and the rest are going WTF?

So Apple was a company of breakthroughs. Hold your horses, you naysayers, yes, some were invented elsewhere, but Jobs knew how to synthesize them to get them right.

And the man is denigrated for pursuing excellence, insisting on it.

Unlike the bozos here at the Lodge At Vail. FOR TWO YEARS we've told them their internet is inadequate. They just don't believe it. But my phone just did not get reception in the bedroom, unlike with Verizon LTE. Oh, you're STILL not on Verizon? And you call yourself a BUSINESSPERSON??

This is like Trump, this is like Jobs, you're convinced your cell service provider is the best. Hell, John Legere even lied direct to my face, well, via the internet, that T-Mobile's coverage is as good. ONLY IT ISN'T! And Diarmuid was driving to a bike race in Arizona when his van broke down, in the middle of nowhere. His AT&T iPhone did not work. But his son's friend's Verizon phone? BINGO!

And now steam is coming out of your ears.

You see there is truth. There are facts. Even though everybody in the game lies. Trump, the liar in chief. And corporations that slice the data so they appear winners. You can discover the truth, if you care, but most people don't want to put that much effort in, they want to live their lives, understandably, which is why we're back to the Steve Jobs usability paradigm.

It should just work. Out of the box. Without a manual. It should be INTUITIVE! How hard IS THIS?

Unless you're Snapchat, which made its bones on being difficult to use, and when they made it easier, its users complained, they didn't want mom and dad on the service. And mom and dad are about the only ones left watching television in real time. That's the story of today, after politics, how the cable bundle is getting frayed, how kids are not subscribing. Who needs a triple play when you've got a cellphone?

Anyway, I'm sitting with a handful of remotes trying to make the TV work.

Oh, there's a universal one... NO!!!

They should ban universal remotes, because they just don't work. You're better off mastering the plethora of remotes that come with your devices, because at least they are paired to them. And the universal remote is always leaving out something you need and...

I ultimately discover Wally has On Demand.

And I find "The Americans," we need to finish the series up, watch Season 6, which I can't on the Time Warner/Spectrum service I pay $200 for at home, they've only got four of ten episodes, huh??

And last night we had success.

Tonight, we had endless buffering.

Where's the problem?

Damned if I know.

Is it Dish, is it the hotel Wi-Fi?

The show was unwatchable, so I decided to tinker. I'll make a long story short, you can't use On Demand without an internet connection. But I couldn't enter the password for the Lodge Wi-Fi. Furthermore, I think there might be a specific internet connection just for Wally.

So we can't watch our show.

But I'm overwhelmed with the incompetence surrounding me.

First, the Dish idiots. Do they even use their product? Have them install one for their grandma and get back to me. She'll disinherit her progeny. FEWER BUTTONS! UNDERSTANDABLE MENUS! It should be easy, like taking candy, from a baby!

Needless to say, we can't watch our show.

And there's no one to call. Just dingbats unaware of what's going on.

At least with Apple you get someone who speaks English, who lives in the United States, if I'm paying for AppleCare, I deserve that.

Furthermore, there should be a NO IDIOT button. If I'm bothering to call you, I know how to plug my computer in, I know how to reset my PRAM, can't I just be directly connected to a supervisor? A genius's genius?

But you can't say anything negative about Tim Cook, then you're a hater.

Kind of like America at large. I was born here. I'm a patriot. I just want our country to be BETTER!

And the way it's going to be better is to pave the way for geniuses.

I'm not talking about those preying off the financial system, putting Toys-R-Us out of business. Do you know how this works? Hedge funds buy corporations, load them up with debt, and maybe they survive. If they do, the fund and its holders get rich. If it doesn't, the corporation craps out, goes bankrupt.

That should be the rule of payment...ARE YOU ADDING ANYTHING??

Unlike the corporations who brought money back from overseas and just gave dividends to their shareholders.

Geniuses are not likable. They've got no patience for the rank and file. They don't want to explain it, they don't want to be held back. They just want to deliver.

Jim Morrison dies, and there are no more Doors, not any ones you want to listen to. Because he was the secret glue, the genius in residence.

Is there a new Prince? OF COURSE NOT! We've been waiting half a century for a NEW BEATLES!

And it certainly wasn't Bruce Springsteen. You know you're in trouble when workingmen are being lauded. He gave great shows, serviceable music, but where is the TRANSCENDENCE? There's more genius in "She Loves You" than any Springsteen track.

And Dylan. How did he write "Highway 61"? And he retired to Woodstock for years because he was sick of a public that could not understand him.

So, Steve Jobs said to keep it simple, to make it easy. Which is one of the reasons Amazon triumphs, but not in video. Ever try to use their service? First and foremost it's SLOW! How can that be, when they're making most of their money on Amazon Web Services? That's why they're a failure in the sphere, not because they lack a hit.

So Steve Jobs made the Graphical User Interface, i.e. GUI, standard. All those PC users said their PCs were better, but in '95, they all imitated the Mac.

And Jobs got music players so right, HE OWNED THE SPHERE!

Kinda like Netflix, I never have a buffering problem, but I do on Amazon!

And I know you speak my language.

And sure, you no longer need to know how your computer works, they're relatively idiot-proof. And your car too. But it was a long journey to the destination.

Meanwhile, people think Android is better because it's more customizable. Don't you get it? Most people don't want to customize their products, they just want them to work!

And now I've pissed off everybody. But I'm sick of a world that just doesn't work. When so easily it could.

It's gonna be 107 in L.A. when I get back, but there's no global warming!

You can't have a fire, never mind fireworks, in Vail because they had a piss-poor snow year.

And you either agree with me or you don't.

And the truth is we laud money as opposed to culture. We don't want solutions, we just want capitalism.

Some people change the world, make it a better place to live in.

But they've got to be smart and altruistic.

Remind you of anyone in D.C?

Meanwhile, Jack Welch was considered the best businessman of all time when the truth is he cooked the books at GE. He just kept selling financial assets to make the quarterly numbers continue to go up.

Until it all crashed.

America is crashing.

And it's complicated, which is why the bozo in the White House is failing. We need experts.

And don't go all Ayn Rand on me, don't give me the "Atlas Shrugged" B.S.

Point is, Steve Jobs was a man of the liberal arts.. He was willing to work for a single dollar because he believed in himself.

We need more leaders!

Meanwhile, watch the parking meters.


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