It's like there are two internets. One of skeptical consumers doing their best to navigate their lives and the other of scumbag providers doing their best to win through subterfuge. Then again, in a world where brands are revered and Volkswagen cheats why do we expect people to bend over backwards for businesses?
We can talk about ads slowing down mobile loading times, we can reference Apple making its money on hardware, but what we've really got is a public that's sick and tired of getting the short end of the stick. If Republicans were advertisers they'd tell people to just pick themselves up by their bootstraps and be just like them, winners. But is it a winning economy when we're inundated with messages that aren't relevant that intrude upon our everyday life?
But websites will tell us there's no free lunch.
Which brings up the question of payment. Everyone on the corporate side believes no one will pay. But the truth is we pay all the time, when you offer convenience and a desirable product. But when you do your best to put one over on us, we get angry. And if there's any way we can get retribution...
Kind of like Napster. Sure, tunes were free. But they were also unlocked from overpriced albums with few good tracks. Furthermore, now radio was no longer in control, we were able to sample wares based on our own desires. The irony is the major labels and music business honchos will STILL tell you radio is in control! Ain' that a laugh. Radio is where you can reach the most people easily, but it means less than ever before. How do we know? Because most of the public is clueless as to the Top Ten, they just don't care about it. In other words, it turns out the music industry is not giving people what they want.
We've all got to focus on giving people what they want. That's internet 101. The consumer is in control. Win by serving them, not by corralling them to fit your own desires.
Not that business people always get it wrong. Look at Reed Hastings and Netflix. He knew that streaming was the answer, he dropped the price and provided instant access. There was huge public outcry from people who wanted to rent DVDs. Do you know anyone who rents DVDS anymore? Do you know anyone who has a DVD player? Discs are dead. Hastings knew this already, the public had to catch up, and when it did people were satisfied, Netflix is burgeoning.
And Apple has eliminated disc drives from computers. The same way Steve Jobs got rid of legacy ports almost twenty years ago. Remember the outcry? That this also-ran computer company was leaving old customers in the dust, forcing them to buy new product? Well, that was back before Apple became a juggernaut, it was a harbinger of what was to come.
Just like this is.
People are sick and tired of losing their privacy. They're sick and tired of being tracked. There's nothing as weird as seeing an ad for a product follow you around the web. Do you want to trust these people? Did you trust the Stasi?
The ad companies are no different from the record companies, wanting to hold on to an old model that benefits them but not the user. Meanwhile, wannabe techies side with them the way wannabe musicians side with legacy artists in desiring the old model, they feel they've lost their opportunity. But isn't it funny that today it's the labels who are on the cutting edge, pushing streaming services, and the acts are the ones behind. Winners take stock of a changed world and adjust accordingly. Keep your music off Spotify? Put it everywhere and get people to listen to it. The rewards come when people know who you are, they'll give you tons of money if only you create a bond.
And maybe that's the future we're going to, where people pay. It's already happening in news. With soft paywalls. Turns out most people don't want to read the "New York Times" anyway, and those who do gladly pay. As for those who bitch... I remember Michael Eisner saying that ten percent of people will never pay, but they seem to bitch loudest.
Not that I'm saying the public is completely trustworthy, that it doesn't see the shenanigans of VW and take matters into its own hands, cutting corners. But I am saying if you're dependent upon the public to make money, you've got to serve their dreams, not yours.
Furthermore, ad prices have been sinking online, because spots are ineffectual. The web is littered with link-bait no better than Nigerian money scams. You see these stories everywhere, who are the nincompoops who click through?
As for YouTube pre-roll... Where can I pay to make it go away? Rates are abysmal, but I'll pay dollars to make ads disappear. Where do I enter my credit card number?
And you're telling me I spend nearly a grand for an iPhone and I'm beholden to ads which ruin my experience? Isn't this what killed the PC makers, who loaded up your new computer with bloatware you never wanted and had a hard time eliminating? Sure, it lowered the cost of the product, but then all the profits went to Apple.
Just like they do now.
That's the lesson here. People trust Apple. Believe the company is on their side. They don't mind paying a high price for the experience.
And it's the same way in every walk of life. It's the public that likes scalping, at least they can go to the show, even if the price is high. Scalpers charge fair market value, acts are living in an alternative universe where they want to look fair with low prices but are actually screwing their customers. Turns out most of their fans WANT to pay more, and acts should let them!
And Android is hobbled by ancient operating systems that can't be upgraded. Based upon advertising, the experience is substandard and people are opting to pay more for iPhones. But I thought everybody was cheap, that no one wanted to pay? Well, Apple's got all the profits in handsets, so you should contemplate that.
Ads are dying in television. They've hobbled radio. And now you've got internet sites telling us they must remain? Make me laugh, when I'm not puking. There's got to be a better way.
And it's via trust.
If you can't get the consumer on YOUR side, you're doomed.
Isn't that what we learned in the record business? That we had to proffer solutions people wanted? First with iTunes? As for streaming, the public has already voted, streaming has won by a landslide, it's only the acts with their heads up their ass who believe otherwise. But you don't win by bitching, you win by abandoning the old model and embracing the new.
People hate ads, they ruin the experience. That's why they download ad-blockers.
And they laud Apple for providing them, isn't that what we all want, a better experience in life? Isn't that who we give money to?
The sands they are a-shifting. We have spam blockers, a whole industry trying to weed out bad e-mail, but we can't get rid of bad ads?
Come on.
This is the new reality. If we lose a bunch of sites, so be it. Hell, if we can get rid of some spyware...
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Saturday 19 September 2015
More Oslo
I forgot to tell you I went to the Viking Ship Museum!
I'm back in Santa Monica and I feel like I'm still moving at 600 miles an hour. You know, that feeling where your body's all tingly and you're afraid you're gonna lose your balance?
I started early this morning in Oslo. Our takeoff was delayed by an hour because there was a bag on board sans passenger, and that's a security no-no. Took them all that time to locate it in the hull and remove it and when we landed in London the assembled multitude jumped out of their seats and surged towards the front. I'm used to Europe being so civilized! But not in this instance. Getting up before the plane reaches the gate is a taboo in the U.S., but I'm still learning about national cultures. Most fascinating was the description of Finland. To a man (and woman!) everyone in Oslo testified about the weirdness of the Finns. How they were different from the rest of the Scandinavians, that they were more like Russians, their ancestors came from the east as opposed to the west. It wasn't a put-down, everyone marveled at Finland's art and architecture, and it was remarked that the number one gig in that country was being a school teacher, it's just when it came to the music
business there everyone threw their arms up in the air, they couldn't understand it! I'm all about seeing the sights, but this trip convinced me how important it is to interact with the people, to get their viewpoints.
And the rush on the plane wasn't the only cultural difference.
I went to take a pee and there was a giant photo of a woman in chains, that's right, her ankles were locked up, it filled the space above the urinals. You couldn't get away with this in the U.S., we take our treatment of women very seriously. And speaking of women, as I was relieving myself I heard a high-pitched voice on the phone. It truly flummoxed me. It was definitely a woman, but it sounded like she was right there in the men's room with me...
SHE WAS!
Although the urinals were around the corner, not behind a door, just a left turn at the end of the lavatory, sinks were shared. And I didn't remember this the second time I took a pee, for I was rounding the corner, zipping up, and...
Yesterday I was interviewed by Knut Schreiner at an IFPI event. That's their RIAA, but it's not only limited to Norway... Knut is the guitarist for Turbonegro. They play festivals every summer, but the audience just wants to hear the old tunes. So Knut went back to school to get a degree in sociology, and his questions were the most intelligent I've ever encountered, each densely packed with twists and turns and I could have just sat there and listened to him. And Knut is a fan, they're all fans. We discussed our favorite shows, he told me he was going to see Crosby, Stills & Nash. Funny how the further you are from the source the more you are fascinated by it.
And then I got into a deep discussion with the assembled multitude about Spotify.
They told me the ratio was 80/20. That's right, 80% paid to 20% freemium!
Now it all started back in 2009, before YouTube gained traction. And Norway is a rich economy, where they told me people like to pay. But the execs were gangbusters about freemium, because they saw it worked, people converted.
And Spotify killed piracy dead, IFPI's research said only 1% of the music audience now acquired their music primarily via piracy.
Furthermore, Petter told me Universal paid out its largest royalties in history last year. But still, the musicians are bitching, just like they are over here. You see players can't adjust to the new game, where it's all about what's listened to. Used to be the sale was the transaction. Now, it's the listen. Furthermore, people are listening to Led Zeppelin and the hits of yore, which didn't used to generate much of an income at all. Not that catalogue dominates streams, it's mostly pop. But is that Spotify's fault? The label's fault? What we seem to forget is we never go back to the past. To agitate for the old paradigm is fruitless. You must embrace the new. And in Norway the royalties keep going up, bottom is in the rearview mirror.
Not that Norway is exactly like America. They're so technologically advanced! They transfer money to each other via their mobiles. The CFO of Universal told me he didn't carry cash, he opened his wallet to show me, not a kroner there. Wait, there was a 20 Euro note, which surprised him. He pays with his card or his phone. Terje Hakonsen showed me his credit card with built-in wireless, you just wave it and the charge happens. And all bills are paid via wireless terminals, you slide in your card and enter your PIN. Do you know your credit card's PIN? I couldn't buy something at a drugstore in Toronto because even though my card does have a chip, I've got no PIN! United States, greatest country in the world, never forget that.
Not that Norway was always ahead. The Warner MD told me he first encountered McDonald's when he visited a friend living in Indiana. He was used to one TV station and one hour of pop music radio a week, and this was the eighties! Now there we've got the rest of the world beat. Illustrating no country is the best.
And I kept hearing about the German CD market, how it was failing, and streaming had little traction. I couldn't understand this! Germany, isn't it Europe's paragon of commercial excellence? But I was told Germany is a late adopter when it comes to technology. And that Germany loves Norwegian music, that its only native sounds are metal and EDM.
And I believe what they said about Germany because it was in the Franzen book!
I finished it on the plane today. There was that writer who claimed "The Goldfinch" was "Harry Potter" for adults. "Purity" is not. "Purity" is America at its best. An artist not concerned about monetary reward who is writing his own truth. The book is laden with aphorisms. There's one dollop of wisdom after another. About relationships, the internet and life itself. But I doubt "Purity" will have a deep impact upon the culture, because it's dense and difficult to read for anybody whose vocabulary is challenged. If only we had a record as good as "Purity," people would turn off their televisions and video game consoles and we'd all be sound crazy. This is the way it used to be, when records were about testing limits. Franzen ain't great with arc, he's not perfect with plot, but I haven't read a better analysis of today's world, an evocation of today's reality, from internet porn to fame to money to... Read it.
So back to the Viking Ship Museum. We went there after seeing Kon-Tiki and the Fram. The Viking ships are huge! And they're a thousand years old! They rowed to Egypt. You can't fathom it, you can't put it in a box, you wonder if it's all a hoax. But there the ships are...
When I left Oslo it was raining.
And in L.A. it's now in the eighties.
And my body is somewhere in between.
And it feels good to be home.
But as soon as I put my foot down on terra firma...
I wanted to be back in Oslo.
Ah, the conundrum of life.
"My baby's got me locked up in chains": http://bit.ly/1ioBgP2
Oseberg Viking ship: http://bit.ly/1gzC5Dt
"Purity," by Jonathan Franzen: http://amzn.to/1KscMLp
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I'm back in Santa Monica and I feel like I'm still moving at 600 miles an hour. You know, that feeling where your body's all tingly and you're afraid you're gonna lose your balance?
I started early this morning in Oslo. Our takeoff was delayed by an hour because there was a bag on board sans passenger, and that's a security no-no. Took them all that time to locate it in the hull and remove it and when we landed in London the assembled multitude jumped out of their seats and surged towards the front. I'm used to Europe being so civilized! But not in this instance. Getting up before the plane reaches the gate is a taboo in the U.S., but I'm still learning about national cultures. Most fascinating was the description of Finland. To a man (and woman!) everyone in Oslo testified about the weirdness of the Finns. How they were different from the rest of the Scandinavians, that they were more like Russians, their ancestors came from the east as opposed to the west. It wasn't a put-down, everyone marveled at Finland's art and architecture, and it was remarked that the number one gig in that country was being a school teacher, it's just when it came to the music
business there everyone threw their arms up in the air, they couldn't understand it! I'm all about seeing the sights, but this trip convinced me how important it is to interact with the people, to get their viewpoints.
And the rush on the plane wasn't the only cultural difference.
I went to take a pee and there was a giant photo of a woman in chains, that's right, her ankles were locked up, it filled the space above the urinals. You couldn't get away with this in the U.S., we take our treatment of women very seriously. And speaking of women, as I was relieving myself I heard a high-pitched voice on the phone. It truly flummoxed me. It was definitely a woman, but it sounded like she was right there in the men's room with me...
SHE WAS!
Although the urinals were around the corner, not behind a door, just a left turn at the end of the lavatory, sinks were shared. And I didn't remember this the second time I took a pee, for I was rounding the corner, zipping up, and...
Yesterday I was interviewed by Knut Schreiner at an IFPI event. That's their RIAA, but it's not only limited to Norway... Knut is the guitarist for Turbonegro. They play festivals every summer, but the audience just wants to hear the old tunes. So Knut went back to school to get a degree in sociology, and his questions were the most intelligent I've ever encountered, each densely packed with twists and turns and I could have just sat there and listened to him. And Knut is a fan, they're all fans. We discussed our favorite shows, he told me he was going to see Crosby, Stills & Nash. Funny how the further you are from the source the more you are fascinated by it.
And then I got into a deep discussion with the assembled multitude about Spotify.
They told me the ratio was 80/20. That's right, 80% paid to 20% freemium!
Now it all started back in 2009, before YouTube gained traction. And Norway is a rich economy, where they told me people like to pay. But the execs were gangbusters about freemium, because they saw it worked, people converted.
And Spotify killed piracy dead, IFPI's research said only 1% of the music audience now acquired their music primarily via piracy.
Furthermore, Petter told me Universal paid out its largest royalties in history last year. But still, the musicians are bitching, just like they are over here. You see players can't adjust to the new game, where it's all about what's listened to. Used to be the sale was the transaction. Now, it's the listen. Furthermore, people are listening to Led Zeppelin and the hits of yore, which didn't used to generate much of an income at all. Not that catalogue dominates streams, it's mostly pop. But is that Spotify's fault? The label's fault? What we seem to forget is we never go back to the past. To agitate for the old paradigm is fruitless. You must embrace the new. And in Norway the royalties keep going up, bottom is in the rearview mirror.
Not that Norway is exactly like America. They're so technologically advanced! They transfer money to each other via their mobiles. The CFO of Universal told me he didn't carry cash, he opened his wallet to show me, not a kroner there. Wait, there was a 20 Euro note, which surprised him. He pays with his card or his phone. Terje Hakonsen showed me his credit card with built-in wireless, you just wave it and the charge happens. And all bills are paid via wireless terminals, you slide in your card and enter your PIN. Do you know your credit card's PIN? I couldn't buy something at a drugstore in Toronto because even though my card does have a chip, I've got no PIN! United States, greatest country in the world, never forget that.
Not that Norway was always ahead. The Warner MD told me he first encountered McDonald's when he visited a friend living in Indiana. He was used to one TV station and one hour of pop music radio a week, and this was the eighties! Now there we've got the rest of the world beat. Illustrating no country is the best.
And I kept hearing about the German CD market, how it was failing, and streaming had little traction. I couldn't understand this! Germany, isn't it Europe's paragon of commercial excellence? But I was told Germany is a late adopter when it comes to technology. And that Germany loves Norwegian music, that its only native sounds are metal and EDM.
And I believe what they said about Germany because it was in the Franzen book!
I finished it on the plane today. There was that writer who claimed "The Goldfinch" was "Harry Potter" for adults. "Purity" is not. "Purity" is America at its best. An artist not concerned about monetary reward who is writing his own truth. The book is laden with aphorisms. There's one dollop of wisdom after another. About relationships, the internet and life itself. But I doubt "Purity" will have a deep impact upon the culture, because it's dense and difficult to read for anybody whose vocabulary is challenged. If only we had a record as good as "Purity," people would turn off their televisions and video game consoles and we'd all be sound crazy. This is the way it used to be, when records were about testing limits. Franzen ain't great with arc, he's not perfect with plot, but I haven't read a better analysis of today's world, an evocation of today's reality, from internet porn to fame to money to... Read it.
So back to the Viking Ship Museum. We went there after seeing Kon-Tiki and the Fram. The Viking ships are huge! And they're a thousand years old! They rowed to Egypt. You can't fathom it, you can't put it in a box, you wonder if it's all a hoax. But there the ships are...
When I left Oslo it was raining.
And in L.A. it's now in the eighties.
And my body is somewhere in between.
And it feels good to be home.
But as soon as I put my foot down on terra firma...
I wanted to be back in Oslo.
Ah, the conundrum of life.
"My baby's got me locked up in chains": http://bit.ly/1ioBgP2
Oseberg Viking ship: http://bit.ly/1gzC5Dt
"Purity," by Jonathan Franzen: http://amzn.to/1KscMLp
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Thursday 17 September 2015
Rhinofy-Roll With The Changes
This song has been going through my head ever since I heard Gary Richrath died.
R.E.O. Speedwagon was just another faceless Midwestern band slogging it out on the road until "Roll With The Changes" emerged on the airwaves in '78 and convinced me the band was not only a comer, it had arrived.
I don't care what anybody says about Detroit, Cleveland or all those towns in Texas with radio acolytes, the truth is the best rock and roll radio of the seventies existed in Los Angeles, California, where there were fully five rockers on the FM dial, it was almost equivalent to today's satellite radio, if you didn't like a tune you could just push the button and find another one more ear-pleasing.
On the left-hand of the dial, just above the public radio stations, was KNX, the soft rock outlet. And if you think wimpy rock sucks, you've never heard Steely Dan's "Dirty Work," which was a station staple. In the seventies we were open to anything and everything, at least until disco came along and rained upon our parade. And we loved James Taylor, J.D. Souther, the Eagles, a bunch of people whose reps have not made it into the twenty first century but soothed our hearts and got us laid way back when.
On the other end of the dial was KROQ, which was a completely different outlet than it is today. KROQ was free-form, back when even WNEW's playlist had tightened up. You'd hear not only Elvis Costello and Joe Jackson, but Deaf School and Flash and the Pan. The deejays boasted of a helicopter that didn't exist and it truly was the best damn station extant, it's just that it was trumped by the success of the ROQ of the 80's format Rick Carroll ushered in after the decade turned.
And just a twitch to the left of KROQ was KWST, the Led Zeppelin station. It was hard rock all the time, before hard was so headbanging that most people didn't care for the sound.
And right smack dab in the middle of the dial, right next to each other, were KMET and KLOS. The latter survives, but it was the former that dominated. KMET was truly the heartbeat of Los Angeles. And if you made it on KMET, you made it everywhere. All the bands you thought you hated you ultimately found out you loved on Saturday night, when you drove around the city and heard Foghat and the rest of the high energy rockers who owned the playlist on the weekend. Acts like R.E.O. Speedwagon.
We didn't go for that corn-fed rock. Hell, Rick Nielsen and Tom Peterson were in the unsuccessful Fuse before they reformed as Cheap Trick. But back then, as it still goes today, if you found the right track...
The first one that penetrated the airwaves was "Ridin' The Storm Out," back in '74. You could drive cross-country, which I did many a time, and you'd hear it from city to city. This Gary Richrath composition earned a place in the radio firmament, but you nodded your head and endured it, you didn't search it out, you weren't eager to hear it, but it still satisfied. Kevin Cronin wasn't even the lead singer!
But years later Cronin was back in the band and then came "Roll With The Changes" in '78.
After that R.E.O. Speedwagon became superstars. There was this little track called..."Keep On Loving You."
I hated it.
Another rock band gone wimpy to get fans, to garner money and success. But the truth is, at this distance, I can appreciate "Keep On Loving You"'s greatness. Come on, what an anthemic chorus! You can sing along and enjoy it even if you don't speak English!
And the album it emanated from, 1980's "Hi Infidelity," spawned even more hits. "Don't Let Him Go" was closer to the sound of yore, despite the pedestrian lyrics, but even though Mr. Richrath wrote "Take It On The Run," and probably lived on it until he died, it made me puke back then and still does now. I hate those who pander.
But it didn't work for long. The follow-up to "Hi Infidelity," "Good Trouble," spawned a hit with the second-rate "Keep The Fire Burnin'" but the truth is the track was formulaic, the band was trying to imitate its successful sound. And after that... There was one more hit, the execrable "Can't Fight This Feeling" in 1985, but by this time the band's hard core rock audience had completely abandoned them and soon their newbie fans moved on to the next flavor of the moment and the band was dead in the water, proving you should play the game, give people what they want, at your peril.
But a strange thing happened as the years passed by. R.E.O. couldn't sell a record, but they'd had such big hits they were now in demand on the nostalgia circuit, along with their brethren in dreck Styx, and they've been touring every summer since, thrilling the fans and making coin forevermore.
That's right, most rockers ended up hating R.E.O. and Styx. Both of whom started out dedicated to their principles and then sold out. But both of the bands' hits sound good today.
But not as good as "Roll With The Changes."
"As soon as you are able
Woman I am willin'"
But really it's all about what comes before this, that infectious piano riff and Gary Richrath's screaming guitar, you're instantly hooked.
"So if you're tired of the same old story
Oh, turn some pages"
Come on, isn't that the rock and roll ethos? Moving on, taking chances, embracing the new?
"I'll be here when you are ready
To roll with the changes"
Are you ready? Your friends are, they're going to lead you along. You're gonna get high as Kevin Cronin takes a rest and Gary Richrath positively wails, from back when guitars were king and we played our air axes in front of the mirror.
"Keep on rollin'
Oh yeah
Keep on rollin'
Oh, roll with the changes"
Oh, baby, you got to roll with the changes. Kevin was singing about love, only most people enamored of this cut didn't have girlfriends, but this music filled the space, gave them hope, kept them alive until courage and luck paid dividends.
There was so much energy, so much exuberance, and I don't want to understate the power of Neal Doughty's keyboard work, without it the track doesn't soar, but...
Rock and roll is a guitarist's game. And despite being written and sung by Kevin Cronin, "Roll With The Changes" is Gary Richrath's track. Another American who saw the Beatles and decided the only way to be happy in this life was to be in a band, who practiced in his bedroom until he was the hottest player in his town, and then went on the road to hone his chops and convince everybody else.
And it was with "Roll With The Changes" that R.E.O. Speedwagon sealed the deal. They grabbed us by the balls, took charge of our heads and hearts and made us pay attention.
This week another soldier died. He was a member of the rock and roll army which ruled this country for years, back when we were all addicted to the radio and music still drove the culture.
We've turned some pages. Some are still with us, some are not.
But for those of us button-pushers who spent all our money on music...we can't get the sound out of our head, we still believe.
Tonight I'm rolling with the changes.
And there are millions of people who know exactly what I mean.
Spotify playlist: http://spoti.fi/1McwFd4
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R.E.O. Speedwagon was just another faceless Midwestern band slogging it out on the road until "Roll With The Changes" emerged on the airwaves in '78 and convinced me the band was not only a comer, it had arrived.
I don't care what anybody says about Detroit, Cleveland or all those towns in Texas with radio acolytes, the truth is the best rock and roll radio of the seventies existed in Los Angeles, California, where there were fully five rockers on the FM dial, it was almost equivalent to today's satellite radio, if you didn't like a tune you could just push the button and find another one more ear-pleasing.
On the left-hand of the dial, just above the public radio stations, was KNX, the soft rock outlet. And if you think wimpy rock sucks, you've never heard Steely Dan's "Dirty Work," which was a station staple. In the seventies we were open to anything and everything, at least until disco came along and rained upon our parade. And we loved James Taylor, J.D. Souther, the Eagles, a bunch of people whose reps have not made it into the twenty first century but soothed our hearts and got us laid way back when.
On the other end of the dial was KROQ, which was a completely different outlet than it is today. KROQ was free-form, back when even WNEW's playlist had tightened up. You'd hear not only Elvis Costello and Joe Jackson, but Deaf School and Flash and the Pan. The deejays boasted of a helicopter that didn't exist and it truly was the best damn station extant, it's just that it was trumped by the success of the ROQ of the 80's format Rick Carroll ushered in after the decade turned.
And just a twitch to the left of KROQ was KWST, the Led Zeppelin station. It was hard rock all the time, before hard was so headbanging that most people didn't care for the sound.
And right smack dab in the middle of the dial, right next to each other, were KMET and KLOS. The latter survives, but it was the former that dominated. KMET was truly the heartbeat of Los Angeles. And if you made it on KMET, you made it everywhere. All the bands you thought you hated you ultimately found out you loved on Saturday night, when you drove around the city and heard Foghat and the rest of the high energy rockers who owned the playlist on the weekend. Acts like R.E.O. Speedwagon.
We didn't go for that corn-fed rock. Hell, Rick Nielsen and Tom Peterson were in the unsuccessful Fuse before they reformed as Cheap Trick. But back then, as it still goes today, if you found the right track...
The first one that penetrated the airwaves was "Ridin' The Storm Out," back in '74. You could drive cross-country, which I did many a time, and you'd hear it from city to city. This Gary Richrath composition earned a place in the radio firmament, but you nodded your head and endured it, you didn't search it out, you weren't eager to hear it, but it still satisfied. Kevin Cronin wasn't even the lead singer!
But years later Cronin was back in the band and then came "Roll With The Changes" in '78.
After that R.E.O. Speedwagon became superstars. There was this little track called..."Keep On Loving You."
I hated it.
Another rock band gone wimpy to get fans, to garner money and success. But the truth is, at this distance, I can appreciate "Keep On Loving You"'s greatness. Come on, what an anthemic chorus! You can sing along and enjoy it even if you don't speak English!
And the album it emanated from, 1980's "Hi Infidelity," spawned even more hits. "Don't Let Him Go" was closer to the sound of yore, despite the pedestrian lyrics, but even though Mr. Richrath wrote "Take It On The Run," and probably lived on it until he died, it made me puke back then and still does now. I hate those who pander.
But it didn't work for long. The follow-up to "Hi Infidelity," "Good Trouble," spawned a hit with the second-rate "Keep The Fire Burnin'" but the truth is the track was formulaic, the band was trying to imitate its successful sound. And after that... There was one more hit, the execrable "Can't Fight This Feeling" in 1985, but by this time the band's hard core rock audience had completely abandoned them and soon their newbie fans moved on to the next flavor of the moment and the band was dead in the water, proving you should play the game, give people what they want, at your peril.
But a strange thing happened as the years passed by. R.E.O. couldn't sell a record, but they'd had such big hits they were now in demand on the nostalgia circuit, along with their brethren in dreck Styx, and they've been touring every summer since, thrilling the fans and making coin forevermore.
That's right, most rockers ended up hating R.E.O. and Styx. Both of whom started out dedicated to their principles and then sold out. But both of the bands' hits sound good today.
But not as good as "Roll With The Changes."
"As soon as you are able
Woman I am willin'"
But really it's all about what comes before this, that infectious piano riff and Gary Richrath's screaming guitar, you're instantly hooked.
"So if you're tired of the same old story
Oh, turn some pages"
Come on, isn't that the rock and roll ethos? Moving on, taking chances, embracing the new?
"I'll be here when you are ready
To roll with the changes"
Are you ready? Your friends are, they're going to lead you along. You're gonna get high as Kevin Cronin takes a rest and Gary Richrath positively wails, from back when guitars were king and we played our air axes in front of the mirror.
"Keep on rollin'
Oh yeah
Keep on rollin'
Oh, roll with the changes"
Oh, baby, you got to roll with the changes. Kevin was singing about love, only most people enamored of this cut didn't have girlfriends, but this music filled the space, gave them hope, kept them alive until courage and luck paid dividends.
There was so much energy, so much exuberance, and I don't want to understate the power of Neal Doughty's keyboard work, without it the track doesn't soar, but...
Rock and roll is a guitarist's game. And despite being written and sung by Kevin Cronin, "Roll With The Changes" is Gary Richrath's track. Another American who saw the Beatles and decided the only way to be happy in this life was to be in a band, who practiced in his bedroom until he was the hottest player in his town, and then went on the road to hone his chops and convince everybody else.
And it was with "Roll With The Changes" that R.E.O. Speedwagon sealed the deal. They grabbed us by the balls, took charge of our heads and hearts and made us pay attention.
This week another soldier died. He was a member of the rock and roll army which ruled this country for years, back when we were all addicted to the radio and music still drove the culture.
We've turned some pages. Some are still with us, some are not.
But for those of us button-pushers who spent all our money on music...we can't get the sound out of our head, we still believe.
Tonight I'm rolling with the changes.
And there are millions of people who know exactly what I mean.
Spotify playlist: http://spoti.fi/1McwFd4
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Wednesday 16 September 2015
Oslo
Yesterday I was at the National Gallery looking at the paintings and I wondered if creativity stemmed from bad weather, sitting inside on a rainy day letting your mind go free... I just had an hour to kill, the museum was close by, and I walked into the halls and I was brought back to college, memories flowed through my brain, of art history courses and black moods and I was inspired in ways I rarely am in Los Angeles where the weather is nearly perfect and life is easy. Does great art come from a hard life?
Actually, I heard today that life in Norway is pretty easy, that members of the populace are agitating for a six hour workday, and it's all because of the oil, which was discovered in 1971 and turned Norway from the poor relation Scandinavian nation into one of the richest countries in the world. Taxes are still high, fifty percent if you make a top income, but there's free health care and little crime and everybody's about lifestyle, it's the anti-America, where we're all working like rats in a cage.
But as you know, the price of oil has caved, and the kroner has lost 40% of its value versus the dollar, prices are still expensive for Americans, but Norway now has to think about its future. Sweden has tech. Finland is a bastion of art and architecture. What comes for Norway next? Could it be music?
I spent the morning at Music Norway, where they're investing in bands playing in the U.S., U.K. and Germany. They want to spread the word. All I know is it comes down to a hit song.
And speaking of songs, no one's bitching about streaming in Norway, physical is dead, MP3s have waned, they're living in the new reality and the conversations are completely different than in America. How can you get people to stream a track, how can you infect playlists, how can you advertise on Google and Facebook and... Those playing the home game believe the major labels are incompetent nincompoops, but that's an out of date viewpoint, it's the majors who are making the breakthroughs today, because they want to make money.
So I left L.A. in a heat wave that had my landlady talking about end times. Living in California has become weird. There's no water and constant conflagrations and it's never been this bad before. Hell, it's supposed to heat up again this weekend...
But in Oslo it's cold and rainy. Like I said, it reminded me of the east coast, growing up in Connecticut, college in Vermont. And in the midst of a downpour Jerry took me to the Kon-Tiki museum.
That was a head-turner. They had Kon-Tiki and the Ra, the boats/rafts used to sail across the Pacific and the Atlantic, and they were both bigger than you thought they were but still so small. Who would take such a risk? A Norwegian, they've got a history of exploring.
Even more fascinating was the museum next door, which contained the Fram, a boat which went to the North Pole and South Pole and back again. Jerry knew every detail of Nansen and Amundsen, the explorers, we didn't even study them in school, but the Norwegians are proud of their heritage. I was stimulated by the information, I could live in a museum.
And yesterday I went to the Spotify office. No, I don't make any money from the company, I'm not a scumbag, getting paid to hype crap, but their playlist-maker reached out and I decided to go to lunch (pressed duck, excellent!) But before that we hung out in the office. Where an ad salesman brought up a webpage for the Norwegian sovereign fund, check it out:
http://www.nbim.no/en/
It's kind of like that billboard on Santa Monica Boulevard, you know the one, it shows the number of people who've died from smoking this year. Only in this case, you're seeing the value of a fund that owns a huge chunk of Spotify and is the social security for Norwegian citizens.
Then I heard about this city on the fjord, on the west coast of the country, that was in danger of disappearing from a tsunami. They made a movie about it, "The Wave." You see there's a crack in the mountain, and when the rock finally lets loose and falls into the sea the population has to run like hell up the hill to survive. I wonder if they'll play the Pink Floyd instrumental when it transpires. Gives you some perspective, when your life is in danger from nature.
And did you know Spotify bans its playlist makers from talking to labels? Furthermore, Axel, my lunch date, is famous for his playlist Morning Coffee, when people find out he constructed it they're impressed, they love it. I don't know if in the future we'll pick our tracks or employ playlists, this is just one more thing that needs to be figured out on the forefront of streaming. No one knows exactly what the future holds. We live in a pop-dominated world, you may say otherwise but the label bigwigs told me that's what dominates, not that you need to hear it from them, just look at the chart, pop's squeezing out the marginal genres. But will a new sound come along and wipe the slate clean, get us all listening to something new, as the Beatles once did?
That's the power of the individual. One person can change the world.
Today I had a long conversation with Terje Hakonsen. Now THAT'S a rock star!
You may know him as the guy who refused to participate in the Olympics. You know, the world's best snowboarder who would have cleaned up in '98 in Nagano but refused to go.
He was mad that the International Olympic Committee co-opted his sport, imposing its rules and eviscerating snowboarding's culture.
That's what we're looking for, independent thinkers who can say no, who can go against the flow.
Terje is still going against the flow. He's trying to push snowboarding into new territory. By changing the halfpipe, adding new features, bringing back the quarter pipe, riding a snowskate, which is a snowboard with no bindings. This lanky dude in a ball cap is what the rock stars used to be like. Living free from the office. Following his dream. Going out on the hill for the joy of it, you remember joy, right? We haven't had that in music for a very long time.
Living in a country of five million you can't just thump your chest and say how great you are, you have to divine context, see your place in the world, choose your entry point and execute. Which is one of the reasons America is falling behind, we're so self-congratulatory we refuse to see our flaws. USA! USA! But if you're not lifting up the carpet, if you're not checking rulers and watching the parking meters, you're falling behind. We used to look up to musicians as leaders. Now they're just business people, who are a lot poorer than the techies, we wish they would realize their power is in their art, that money gets you far, but art will get you farther.
I didn't come to Oslo to learn all this.
But I did.
P.S. Thor Heyerdahl set fire to his raft Tigris to protest war in East Africa. Are you willing to sacrifice your mission for a higher purpose?
P.P.S. Experts said Kon-Tiki wouldn't last, that the ropes would break under the strain long before land was reached. Turns out the ropes wore grooves into the wood and the raft survived. I'm not telling you to go on a death mission, but if you're not willing to challenge conventional wisdom, if you always defer to "experts," don't expect to experience any breakthroughs.
P.P.P.S. The Fram had a piano. Music goes everywhere.
P.P.P.P.S. Oslo has Uber. And everybody seems to have an iPhone, without a case. Once upon a time Norway had one TV station and one hour of rock music on the radio a week, up until the eighties, in fact. But then the oil came and everything changed. America is a wealthy nation, but not enough of the money trickles down to the underclass. We're like a team with all captains. And it's hard to win with so few people on the field.
P.P.P.P.P.S. They tell me it doesn't really get that cold, and the days aren't really that short. But they live here, this is their homeland. Everybody comes from somewhere and it's hard to break ties and most return to what's comfortable. And I want to live in L.A. But getting out of one's comfort zone, experiencing new places, is so stimulating and educational, and he who gives up learning is dying. What kind of crazy world do we live in where Norwegians are better informed than Americans? One in which the internet has flattened the globe, where information is at the fingertips of everyone. Be curious. Question authority. Don't put your hopes in false gods. Look for truth, don't be dazzled by image. You're an individual, you matter. What you do influences others. Embrace life. Feel free to consume, but the rewards go to those who create.
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Actually, I heard today that life in Norway is pretty easy, that members of the populace are agitating for a six hour workday, and it's all because of the oil, which was discovered in 1971 and turned Norway from the poor relation Scandinavian nation into one of the richest countries in the world. Taxes are still high, fifty percent if you make a top income, but there's free health care and little crime and everybody's about lifestyle, it's the anti-America, where we're all working like rats in a cage.
But as you know, the price of oil has caved, and the kroner has lost 40% of its value versus the dollar, prices are still expensive for Americans, but Norway now has to think about its future. Sweden has tech. Finland is a bastion of art and architecture. What comes for Norway next? Could it be music?
I spent the morning at Music Norway, where they're investing in bands playing in the U.S., U.K. and Germany. They want to spread the word. All I know is it comes down to a hit song.
And speaking of songs, no one's bitching about streaming in Norway, physical is dead, MP3s have waned, they're living in the new reality and the conversations are completely different than in America. How can you get people to stream a track, how can you infect playlists, how can you advertise on Google and Facebook and... Those playing the home game believe the major labels are incompetent nincompoops, but that's an out of date viewpoint, it's the majors who are making the breakthroughs today, because they want to make money.
So I left L.A. in a heat wave that had my landlady talking about end times. Living in California has become weird. There's no water and constant conflagrations and it's never been this bad before. Hell, it's supposed to heat up again this weekend...
But in Oslo it's cold and rainy. Like I said, it reminded me of the east coast, growing up in Connecticut, college in Vermont. And in the midst of a downpour Jerry took me to the Kon-Tiki museum.
That was a head-turner. They had Kon-Tiki and the Ra, the boats/rafts used to sail across the Pacific and the Atlantic, and they were both bigger than you thought they were but still so small. Who would take such a risk? A Norwegian, they've got a history of exploring.
Even more fascinating was the museum next door, which contained the Fram, a boat which went to the North Pole and South Pole and back again. Jerry knew every detail of Nansen and Amundsen, the explorers, we didn't even study them in school, but the Norwegians are proud of their heritage. I was stimulated by the information, I could live in a museum.
And yesterday I went to the Spotify office. No, I don't make any money from the company, I'm not a scumbag, getting paid to hype crap, but their playlist-maker reached out and I decided to go to lunch (pressed duck, excellent!) But before that we hung out in the office. Where an ad salesman brought up a webpage for the Norwegian sovereign fund, check it out:
http://www.nbim.no/en/
It's kind of like that billboard on Santa Monica Boulevard, you know the one, it shows the number of people who've died from smoking this year. Only in this case, you're seeing the value of a fund that owns a huge chunk of Spotify and is the social security for Norwegian citizens.
Then I heard about this city on the fjord, on the west coast of the country, that was in danger of disappearing from a tsunami. They made a movie about it, "The Wave." You see there's a crack in the mountain, and when the rock finally lets loose and falls into the sea the population has to run like hell up the hill to survive. I wonder if they'll play the Pink Floyd instrumental when it transpires. Gives you some perspective, when your life is in danger from nature.
And did you know Spotify bans its playlist makers from talking to labels? Furthermore, Axel, my lunch date, is famous for his playlist Morning Coffee, when people find out he constructed it they're impressed, they love it. I don't know if in the future we'll pick our tracks or employ playlists, this is just one more thing that needs to be figured out on the forefront of streaming. No one knows exactly what the future holds. We live in a pop-dominated world, you may say otherwise but the label bigwigs told me that's what dominates, not that you need to hear it from them, just look at the chart, pop's squeezing out the marginal genres. But will a new sound come along and wipe the slate clean, get us all listening to something new, as the Beatles once did?
That's the power of the individual. One person can change the world.
Today I had a long conversation with Terje Hakonsen. Now THAT'S a rock star!
You may know him as the guy who refused to participate in the Olympics. You know, the world's best snowboarder who would have cleaned up in '98 in Nagano but refused to go.
He was mad that the International Olympic Committee co-opted his sport, imposing its rules and eviscerating snowboarding's culture.
That's what we're looking for, independent thinkers who can say no, who can go against the flow.
Terje is still going against the flow. He's trying to push snowboarding into new territory. By changing the halfpipe, adding new features, bringing back the quarter pipe, riding a snowskate, which is a snowboard with no bindings. This lanky dude in a ball cap is what the rock stars used to be like. Living free from the office. Following his dream. Going out on the hill for the joy of it, you remember joy, right? We haven't had that in music for a very long time.
Living in a country of five million you can't just thump your chest and say how great you are, you have to divine context, see your place in the world, choose your entry point and execute. Which is one of the reasons America is falling behind, we're so self-congratulatory we refuse to see our flaws. USA! USA! But if you're not lifting up the carpet, if you're not checking rulers and watching the parking meters, you're falling behind. We used to look up to musicians as leaders. Now they're just business people, who are a lot poorer than the techies, we wish they would realize their power is in their art, that money gets you far, but art will get you farther.
I didn't come to Oslo to learn all this.
But I did.
P.S. Thor Heyerdahl set fire to his raft Tigris to protest war in East Africa. Are you willing to sacrifice your mission for a higher purpose?
P.P.S. Experts said Kon-Tiki wouldn't last, that the ropes would break under the strain long before land was reached. Turns out the ropes wore grooves into the wood and the raft survived. I'm not telling you to go on a death mission, but if you're not willing to challenge conventional wisdom, if you always defer to "experts," don't expect to experience any breakthroughs.
P.P.P.S. The Fram had a piano. Music goes everywhere.
P.P.P.P.S. Oslo has Uber. And everybody seems to have an iPhone, without a case. Once upon a time Norway had one TV station and one hour of rock music on the radio a week, up until the eighties, in fact. But then the oil came and everything changed. America is a wealthy nation, but not enough of the money trickles down to the underclass. We're like a team with all captains. And it's hard to win with so few people on the field.
P.P.P.P.P.S. They tell me it doesn't really get that cold, and the days aren't really that short. But they live here, this is their homeland. Everybody comes from somewhere and it's hard to break ties and most return to what's comfortable. And I want to live in L.A. But getting out of one's comfort zone, experiencing new places, is so stimulating and educational, and he who gives up learning is dying. What kind of crazy world do we live in where Norwegians are better informed than Americans? One in which the internet has flattened the globe, where information is at the fingertips of everyone. Be curious. Question authority. Don't put your hopes in false gods. Look for truth, don't be dazzled by image. You're an individual, you matter. What you do influences others. Embrace life. Feel free to consume, but the rewards go to those who create.
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Tuesday 15 September 2015
Prince
Why is this a story?
Reviewing his latest album, whose name eludes me, is like writing about a blank CD. Because no one can hear it.
I get the train-wreck value. With the diminutive one and his constant anti-internet/technology blathering. But why give him ink at all? Why not say NEXT and move on?
If a tree falls in a forest does it make a noise?
If a has-been releases an album exclusively on Tidal does it matter what it sounds like?
Access and attention, these are the two concepts you must keep in mind.
Imagine being un-Googlable. It would be like you didn't exist. No one could find you. With phone books having fallen by the wayside, no one would be able to get in touch with you you didn't already know, assuming they remembered your number and e-mail address. Would you like this? Some treasure anonymity, but the youngsters who drive this culture and are the future of this world are all about social, creating bonds online. They can be criticized for their lust for fame, but at least they understand the game. Prince is so detached from reality he's one step away from the mental hospital. And like other train-wrecks before him, from Sid Vicious to Amy Winehouse, we refuse to send him to rehab, we just follow their actions as they self-destruct.
And in a world overrun with media, attention is everything. The enemy is obscurity, not a theoretical non-paying public. Where did that start anyway? If the public expected everything for free people wouldn't pay for concert tickets. And it turns out they are paying for music, via streaming, and if you don't understand that you're not in the game. If your Spotify royalties suck it's because not enough people are listening. Sure, the label may be taking the lion's share, and not enough people are paying, but the truth is streaming is a train that's leaving the station everybody is going to get on. And then it won't matter if you sell a record, but if people listen to it. And you'll be competing against Led Zeppelin and the Beatles, who didn't used to get paid after the first sale but will forevermore. This is a good thing, we want to reward those who are actually listened to. But in this era of chaos those being left out are lamenting it publicly and those who don't understand it
keep demonstrating their ignorance.
Like Prince.
The truth is, Mr. Nelson, no one wants to listen to your new music. You utilized YouTube recently and your tracks sunk soon. Because you just can't write a hit. And that's all we're interested in these days, hits. Except for the hard core, every old act has fans, but that does not mean the rest of us should care.
But if you do something as good as the new Bieber, which is astoundingly good, beyond expectations, if not great, then it matters. Assuming we can hear it.
But that's what's wrong with old media, no editorial voice. These are the same people who are so busy printing both sides of the story that facts are thrown out the window. How about printing the number of Tidal subscribers at the beginning of your review. How about stating that Prince has had so many attempted comebacks that those who used to care no longer do. How about reviewing tracks instead of albums, creating playlists categorized on what we must hear, shouldn't hear and might be interested in. It's this refusal to enter the future that makes me cheer on the internet news sources. That is when they're not trolling for link-bait. Then again, BuzzFeed could compile a list of five Prince albums most people have never heard of.
And while we're at it can we have a moratorium on vinyl stories? Or get statistics on how many discs are purchased as souvenirs and are never listened to? If people were interested in quality sound they would have bought Neil Young's Pono player, and you know how that turned out. Then again, the press gave Neil a pass on that one, even though anybody with a brain knew it was a nonstarter. I don't care how much you raise on Kickstarter, I look at the number of donors. And if it ain't in six figures, you're not a mainstream band...and that never happens. Whoopee! You got a ton of believers to lay down money because they remember what once was and are desirous of smelling your farts. Name one Kickstarter album that graduated to the big leagues? I rest my case.
And let's admit streaming won and concentrate on that which is being streamed. They do call it the music BUSINESS and the truth is everyone wants to get paid and the way you do this is by creating something that streams in quantity. I can name scores of failed bands from the days of yore, if I was like the bitching barons I'd say they deserved to be well-known millionaires. But unlike the blind I know that life is unfair. And I also know that the internet did not uncover loads of unsigned talent that the majors were ignoring. The truth is there are very few quality acts and now, more than ever, we're gravitating to those at the peak.
Sorry... But it's the way of the world. If you're not overwhelmed by choice, which is the problem Jimmy Iovine is trying to tackle by delivering so many playlists you're still overwhelmed, you're streaming the same damn stuff as everybody else. Most people are. Sure, you're free to play your obscure favorites, just don't tell me they deserve to be rich.
And don't tell me Prince's new album is relevant and worth paying attention to. Hell, it wouldn't be worth paying attention to if it was on Spotify.
As for Taylor Swift, Ms. Greed, she doesn't want us to respect creators, she just wants to get paid. And isn't that the point I'm making above? Why do all these big shots say they're doing it for the little people...who are on all the services and are being ignored? They're doing it for themselves. And the truth is not being on Spotify is hurting Ms. Swift more than it's helping her. But I don't expect to see a story about that by the fawning press which has been given access. I also don't expect to see a story on how many people have never heard "Blank Space." Taylor Swift may be the biggest star we've got, but she's not that big, there's no ubiquity, she's making pure pop for poor people. How about making something we all can sing, that isn't reliant on beats and has more to say than a billboard?
That's coming.
When people understand the power of music is in the grooves, not the system of distribution. That a hit song is a ubiquitous item we all find satisfaction in, that we want to sing along with, that we want to get closer to.
Why do I have to endure stories about how Prince worked with a producer? Why do I have to read about songs I'll never hear?
Here's the message Mr. Nelson... Get your head out of your damn ass and put your music in the marketplace where it will either succeed or fail based upon its merits. The truth is you're too scared to do this, because you can't write a hit. As for all your bitching about being screwed by the business, I want to know how many tickets you'd be selling if you never signed to a label.
I'm not saying there aren't inequities, but come on, come down from your throne and get into the pit. Where we're all willing to give you a chance. In a competition that's ever more cutthroat.
We want to listen, but we might not want to listen to you.
But if we are listening to you, you're gonna get rich and have more power than you know what to do with.
Welcome to the modern music business.
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Reviewing his latest album, whose name eludes me, is like writing about a blank CD. Because no one can hear it.
I get the train-wreck value. With the diminutive one and his constant anti-internet/technology blathering. But why give him ink at all? Why not say NEXT and move on?
If a tree falls in a forest does it make a noise?
If a has-been releases an album exclusively on Tidal does it matter what it sounds like?
Access and attention, these are the two concepts you must keep in mind.
Imagine being un-Googlable. It would be like you didn't exist. No one could find you. With phone books having fallen by the wayside, no one would be able to get in touch with you you didn't already know, assuming they remembered your number and e-mail address. Would you like this? Some treasure anonymity, but the youngsters who drive this culture and are the future of this world are all about social, creating bonds online. They can be criticized for their lust for fame, but at least they understand the game. Prince is so detached from reality he's one step away from the mental hospital. And like other train-wrecks before him, from Sid Vicious to Amy Winehouse, we refuse to send him to rehab, we just follow their actions as they self-destruct.
And in a world overrun with media, attention is everything. The enemy is obscurity, not a theoretical non-paying public. Where did that start anyway? If the public expected everything for free people wouldn't pay for concert tickets. And it turns out they are paying for music, via streaming, and if you don't understand that you're not in the game. If your Spotify royalties suck it's because not enough people are listening. Sure, the label may be taking the lion's share, and not enough people are paying, but the truth is streaming is a train that's leaving the station everybody is going to get on. And then it won't matter if you sell a record, but if people listen to it. And you'll be competing against Led Zeppelin and the Beatles, who didn't used to get paid after the first sale but will forevermore. This is a good thing, we want to reward those who are actually listened to. But in this era of chaos those being left out are lamenting it publicly and those who don't understand it
keep demonstrating their ignorance.
Like Prince.
The truth is, Mr. Nelson, no one wants to listen to your new music. You utilized YouTube recently and your tracks sunk soon. Because you just can't write a hit. And that's all we're interested in these days, hits. Except for the hard core, every old act has fans, but that does not mean the rest of us should care.
But if you do something as good as the new Bieber, which is astoundingly good, beyond expectations, if not great, then it matters. Assuming we can hear it.
But that's what's wrong with old media, no editorial voice. These are the same people who are so busy printing both sides of the story that facts are thrown out the window. How about printing the number of Tidal subscribers at the beginning of your review. How about stating that Prince has had so many attempted comebacks that those who used to care no longer do. How about reviewing tracks instead of albums, creating playlists categorized on what we must hear, shouldn't hear and might be interested in. It's this refusal to enter the future that makes me cheer on the internet news sources. That is when they're not trolling for link-bait. Then again, BuzzFeed could compile a list of five Prince albums most people have never heard of.
And while we're at it can we have a moratorium on vinyl stories? Or get statistics on how many discs are purchased as souvenirs and are never listened to? If people were interested in quality sound they would have bought Neil Young's Pono player, and you know how that turned out. Then again, the press gave Neil a pass on that one, even though anybody with a brain knew it was a nonstarter. I don't care how much you raise on Kickstarter, I look at the number of donors. And if it ain't in six figures, you're not a mainstream band...and that never happens. Whoopee! You got a ton of believers to lay down money because they remember what once was and are desirous of smelling your farts. Name one Kickstarter album that graduated to the big leagues? I rest my case.
And let's admit streaming won and concentrate on that which is being streamed. They do call it the music BUSINESS and the truth is everyone wants to get paid and the way you do this is by creating something that streams in quantity. I can name scores of failed bands from the days of yore, if I was like the bitching barons I'd say they deserved to be well-known millionaires. But unlike the blind I know that life is unfair. And I also know that the internet did not uncover loads of unsigned talent that the majors were ignoring. The truth is there are very few quality acts and now, more than ever, we're gravitating to those at the peak.
Sorry... But it's the way of the world. If you're not overwhelmed by choice, which is the problem Jimmy Iovine is trying to tackle by delivering so many playlists you're still overwhelmed, you're streaming the same damn stuff as everybody else. Most people are. Sure, you're free to play your obscure favorites, just don't tell me they deserve to be rich.
And don't tell me Prince's new album is relevant and worth paying attention to. Hell, it wouldn't be worth paying attention to if it was on Spotify.
As for Taylor Swift, Ms. Greed, she doesn't want us to respect creators, she just wants to get paid. And isn't that the point I'm making above? Why do all these big shots say they're doing it for the little people...who are on all the services and are being ignored? They're doing it for themselves. And the truth is not being on Spotify is hurting Ms. Swift more than it's helping her. But I don't expect to see a story about that by the fawning press which has been given access. I also don't expect to see a story on how many people have never heard "Blank Space." Taylor Swift may be the biggest star we've got, but she's not that big, there's no ubiquity, she's making pure pop for poor people. How about making something we all can sing, that isn't reliant on beats and has more to say than a billboard?
That's coming.
When people understand the power of music is in the grooves, not the system of distribution. That a hit song is a ubiquitous item we all find satisfaction in, that we want to sing along with, that we want to get closer to.
Why do I have to endure stories about how Prince worked with a producer? Why do I have to read about songs I'll never hear?
Here's the message Mr. Nelson... Get your head out of your damn ass and put your music in the marketplace where it will either succeed or fail based upon its merits. The truth is you're too scared to do this, because you can't write a hit. As for all your bitching about being screwed by the business, I want to know how many tickets you'd be selling if you never signed to a label.
I'm not saying there aren't inequities, but come on, come down from your throne and get into the pit. Where we're all willing to give you a chance. In a competition that's ever more cutthroat.
We want to listen, but we might not want to listen to you.
But if we are listening to you, you're gonna get rich and have more power than you know what to do with.
Welcome to the modern music business.
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Monday 14 September 2015
Eric Schmidt On Music
"In the next generation of software, machine learning won't just be an add-on that improves performance a few percentage points; it will really replace traditional approaches.
To give just one example: a decade ago, to launch a digital music service, you probably would have enlisted a handful of elite tastemakers to pick the hottest new music.
Today, you're much better off building a smart system that can learn from the real world - what actual listeners are most likely to like next - and help you predict who and where the next Adele might be.
As a bonus, it's a much less elitist taste-making process - much more democratic - allowing everyone to discover the next big star through our own collective tastes and not through the individual preferences of a select few."
"Intelligent machines: Making AI work in the real world": http://bbc.in/1QaRyGe
Radio comes first, on demand comes second. You need to be force-fed what to listen to, then you pick it out for endless repeat on your own.
The above comments by Google/Alphabet's Eric Schmidt are the smartest I've seen on the future of music in a long time. In other words, if Jimmy Iovine were so brilliant, if it were all about endless playlists, Apple Music's numbers would have been featured in last week's presentation and the entire industry would be saying hosannas.
But this has not happened. Because the oldsters still rule in music, it's a result of rights, the aged control them, but we won't be all right until the lunatics take over the asylum. That's right, techies are gonna save the world.
I'd like to tell you I know how machine learning works, but I can't program and I count on the Valleyites, Silicon, not San Fernando, to lead me, to take me where I did not know I could go. What I'm looking for is a cohesive world that turns me on to the best stuff and makes me feel a member of society. Who wants to go to a gig of one? Where you're the only person in the audience? That's what listening in today's music world is like. I want to be a member of a tribe, a growing one, watching acts ascend and fulfill.
But we don't know how to do this. Everybody's operating in their own silo. The labels believe in radio. Because it gives you the most bang for the buck, it's the easiest place to start the story. And they're still doubling down on print media and television, even though every week there are new reviews of albums that are quickly forgotten and with 400 scripted shows do you really expect me to scan the talkfests and come up with scintillating appearances by wannabes?
Of course not.
Music discovery is broken. There, I've said it.
What's worse is this is not the conversation. The conversation is dominated by artists complaining that someone's moved their cheese and is ripping them off at the same time. It's as if they locked up gasoline producers at the Tesla factory and they kept on bitching that the car's got no future. Hell, did you read that article that cars in the future are going to be about the software add-ons, that they're going to resemble your phone more than a Corvette, never mind a Prius? Because getting the driving down is easy, constructing a satisfying listening experience is something else.
"What to Expect When You're Expecting an Apple Car": http://on.wsj.com/1JGW8vF
The problem with Jimmy Iovine is he's looking backward. To the radio with the idiotic Beats 1. You know it's not for listeners, right? It's a way to start records for the labels. The biggest story on the station is their banging of Halsey, Capitol's new/old act. It's like if Beats 1 is on it the rest of us should pay attention. But didn't we realize long ago, in the post-Napster era, it's about appealing first to the audience? Which is anemic on Beats 1 because it's got all the flaws of radio but ads, with unprofessional deejays to boot. You mean in an on demand culture I can't fast-forward?
Most people have completely fast-forwarded through streaming services, because they're incomprehensible, they don't know where to start. Which is why they gravitate to the execrable Pandora. Whose genome delivers so many tune-outs it's laughable. But people want to be served, who's gonna serve them, who's gonna turn them on to new stuff?
I want a computer to slice and dice everybody's listening habits to give me the greatest chance of liking what comes next. I like the wisdom of the crowd. The only people who don't are the outsiders in skinny jeans who need their identities embellished by their choices, the pricks.
Amazon eliminated human curators when it found out algorithms did a better job of predicting books. That's right, the suggestions you see on your personal page were not done by hand and they generate even more sales. Why does everybody in music hate data? Data says freemium boosts paid Spotify. Might not feel right, but it's true.
And the truth is we'd be better off with one playlist instead of a gazillion.
But Schmidt's comments above give me hope... That those outside the bubble can see what we cannot and can deliver satiation.
Shawn and Sean did it with Napster.
Oh, come on, get off your financial horse. Having all of the music at your fingertips is a godsend. Gary Richrath dies and I can instantly hear "Roll With The Changes." Used to be I'd turn on the radio to wait for it. And the communal experience was good.
But the communal experience is coming back, that's what's Schmidt is talking about.
I want all the naysayers and complainers to STFU. Where has it gotten them? Did it kill file-trading? No, legal streaming music services did that. It's time for everybody to get with the program, to look forward instead of back. This is the new reality. People are listening to music and artists are getting paid. And nothing is stopping them from not only going on tour, but communicating with their fans on social media services.
This is nirvana! It's just those inured to the old system refuse to play in the new.
I thought human curation was gonna solve the music discovery problem. It still might. But it looks like the techies are gonna get there first. Hell, my inbox is filling up with people loving Spotify's new Discovery feature.
If only we could let the best minds carry the ball.
Experience counts.
But classic rock acts never have another hit and all the innovation has come from the tech side.
Does Jimmy Iovine know anything about machine learning?
Case closed.
P.S. I learned about this Schmidt piece in MusicAlly's "Bulletin," which only does a few stories each day, in this case seven, which is still way too many. Let that be a lesson to all you curators, less is more. Endless lists of articles go ignored.
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To give just one example: a decade ago, to launch a digital music service, you probably would have enlisted a handful of elite tastemakers to pick the hottest new music.
Today, you're much better off building a smart system that can learn from the real world - what actual listeners are most likely to like next - and help you predict who and where the next Adele might be.
As a bonus, it's a much less elitist taste-making process - much more democratic - allowing everyone to discover the next big star through our own collective tastes and not through the individual preferences of a select few."
"Intelligent machines: Making AI work in the real world": http://bbc.in/1QaRyGe
Radio comes first, on demand comes second. You need to be force-fed what to listen to, then you pick it out for endless repeat on your own.
The above comments by Google/Alphabet's Eric Schmidt are the smartest I've seen on the future of music in a long time. In other words, if Jimmy Iovine were so brilliant, if it were all about endless playlists, Apple Music's numbers would have been featured in last week's presentation and the entire industry would be saying hosannas.
But this has not happened. Because the oldsters still rule in music, it's a result of rights, the aged control them, but we won't be all right until the lunatics take over the asylum. That's right, techies are gonna save the world.
I'd like to tell you I know how machine learning works, but I can't program and I count on the Valleyites, Silicon, not San Fernando, to lead me, to take me where I did not know I could go. What I'm looking for is a cohesive world that turns me on to the best stuff and makes me feel a member of society. Who wants to go to a gig of one? Where you're the only person in the audience? That's what listening in today's music world is like. I want to be a member of a tribe, a growing one, watching acts ascend and fulfill.
But we don't know how to do this. Everybody's operating in their own silo. The labels believe in radio. Because it gives you the most bang for the buck, it's the easiest place to start the story. And they're still doubling down on print media and television, even though every week there are new reviews of albums that are quickly forgotten and with 400 scripted shows do you really expect me to scan the talkfests and come up with scintillating appearances by wannabes?
Of course not.
Music discovery is broken. There, I've said it.
What's worse is this is not the conversation. The conversation is dominated by artists complaining that someone's moved their cheese and is ripping them off at the same time. It's as if they locked up gasoline producers at the Tesla factory and they kept on bitching that the car's got no future. Hell, did you read that article that cars in the future are going to be about the software add-ons, that they're going to resemble your phone more than a Corvette, never mind a Prius? Because getting the driving down is easy, constructing a satisfying listening experience is something else.
"What to Expect When You're Expecting an Apple Car": http://on.wsj.com/1JGW8vF
The problem with Jimmy Iovine is he's looking backward. To the radio with the idiotic Beats 1. You know it's not for listeners, right? It's a way to start records for the labels. The biggest story on the station is their banging of Halsey, Capitol's new/old act. It's like if Beats 1 is on it the rest of us should pay attention. But didn't we realize long ago, in the post-Napster era, it's about appealing first to the audience? Which is anemic on Beats 1 because it's got all the flaws of radio but ads, with unprofessional deejays to boot. You mean in an on demand culture I can't fast-forward?
Most people have completely fast-forwarded through streaming services, because they're incomprehensible, they don't know where to start. Which is why they gravitate to the execrable Pandora. Whose genome delivers so many tune-outs it's laughable. But people want to be served, who's gonna serve them, who's gonna turn them on to new stuff?
I want a computer to slice and dice everybody's listening habits to give me the greatest chance of liking what comes next. I like the wisdom of the crowd. The only people who don't are the outsiders in skinny jeans who need their identities embellished by their choices, the pricks.
Amazon eliminated human curators when it found out algorithms did a better job of predicting books. That's right, the suggestions you see on your personal page were not done by hand and they generate even more sales. Why does everybody in music hate data? Data says freemium boosts paid Spotify. Might not feel right, but it's true.
And the truth is we'd be better off with one playlist instead of a gazillion.
But Schmidt's comments above give me hope... That those outside the bubble can see what we cannot and can deliver satiation.
Shawn and Sean did it with Napster.
Oh, come on, get off your financial horse. Having all of the music at your fingertips is a godsend. Gary Richrath dies and I can instantly hear "Roll With The Changes." Used to be I'd turn on the radio to wait for it. And the communal experience was good.
But the communal experience is coming back, that's what's Schmidt is talking about.
I want all the naysayers and complainers to STFU. Where has it gotten them? Did it kill file-trading? No, legal streaming music services did that. It's time for everybody to get with the program, to look forward instead of back. This is the new reality. People are listening to music and artists are getting paid. And nothing is stopping them from not only going on tour, but communicating with their fans on social media services.
This is nirvana! It's just those inured to the old system refuse to play in the new.
I thought human curation was gonna solve the music discovery problem. It still might. But it looks like the techies are gonna get there first. Hell, my inbox is filling up with people loving Spotify's new Discovery feature.
If only we could let the best minds carry the ball.
Experience counts.
But classic rock acts never have another hit and all the innovation has come from the tech side.
Does Jimmy Iovine know anything about machine learning?
Case closed.
P.S. I learned about this Schmidt piece in MusicAlly's "Bulletin," which only does a few stories each day, in this case seven, which is still way too many. Let that be a lesson to all you curators, less is more. Endless lists of articles go ignored.
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Sunday 13 September 2015
Heathrow
I was looking for an outlet and then I realized I didn't have the adapter. I'm in the BA lounge, waiting for my flight to Oslo. There's a woman using her speakerphone in an indeterminate foreign language and it's bothering me, you see I need to work in silence, but I will struggle through.
I'm fascinated by foreign security. How the system seems so much more efficient. We nationalized the TSA and all we hear is guns get through. I can't imagine that happens in the U.K.
I took a BA, British Airways that is, flight from L.A. And I'm here to tell you not to. I thought that BA caught up with Virgin, but they had such a fakokta seating system it blew my mind. Every other airline gives you nearly a compartment in business class, but in an effort to make more money BA has this layout... It's essentially 8 across, with curved windows, and stools for your feet, and all during the flight little kids were leaving the center section and stomping on my toes. And I wouldn't mind if it weren't for the fact that this flight cost deep four figures. For that price, they should treat me like a king. Which BA's partner airline, American, does on this same route. I'm not paying, but I feel like complaining, even though I know it's falling on deaf ears. You see we all hate the airlines, as we should, except for those privileged to fly private and the self-satisfied and poor who go nowhere at all. I don't understand how people want less regulation. Air flight is a
utility. And oil prices have dropped through the floor but airline ticket prices have not. Have you flown to NYC recently? I paid nearly a grand for a coach seat, and I booked weeks before. It's a scam. The whole country's a scam. We lionize corporations, wanting them to endorse our efforts, while they keep squeezing us for profits for their shareholders. As for BA coach... Eegads, I snuck a peek and I've never seen such little legroom.
As for LAX. Actually, before LAX...
I took Uber to the airport. I'm so fearful of getting a lousy rating that I didn't call early, I mean use the app to get a driver early, because if they had to wait while I was schlepping my stuff from my house... And then, since I was going to the airport, no one wanted to pick me up and I had to wait the better part of ten minutes and then I was worried about being late, and I'm paranoid about not making the international cutoff time, which is strictly enforced. But my Uber driver was friendly and nice and driving while he worked on his standup career. Yes, I talk to the driver, worried once again I'm going to get a bad rating. And it turns out there are open mics every night, but there is no audience, not a real one anyway. Rather, it's just a bunch of comics, who don't laugh. But at least this guy is paying his dues. Which seems anathema in the music business, where everybody wants to have success instantly or keeps telling you how many dues they've paid.
And security at LAX...
I just don't get it, the richer you are, the skinnier you are. There's a national scourge of buttless women. Sure, Kim K. has an ample booty, supposedly surgically-enhanced, but the true upper class, the educated as well as wealthy, barely eats and must buy its jeans in the boys' department. It's a national competition, seeing if you can make your butt disappear. As for the men, most appreciate a little meat on the bone. And the overweight poor seem to be having all the fun. Knowing there's no upward mobility they eat and drink and screw and are happy in ways the uptight uppers are not. At least that's the way I see it.
But what blows my mind is how inefficient the scanning system is at the Bradley terminal. They're constantly running out of plastic bins, people are swiping them from other lines, and there are people cutting in, really, and it's all so frustrating and so unlike Heathrow.
So we landed. One good thing about flying in an A380 is the ride, it's like traveling on your living room couch. But the lighting was so bad, such a tiny beam built into the seat, that I was frustrated reading the newspaper and switched to magazines. Have you noticed every album in "Rolling Stone" gets a three star review? It's kind of funny, kind of like the magazine. Which was nearly unreadable, just endless press releases. Is this what the new regime has wrought? But after dinner I went back to the Jonathan Franzen book, which is blowing my mind. Because it's all about interior life, which is rarely seen or heard in America today. What people think, who they truly are, what they feel like as they roam the planet... That's the conundrum, we're all in it together, but we all feel so alone. As for the Franzen book, "Purity" in case you're playing the home game, if I printed a page here all hell would break loose. Because the truth hurts. The truth is we're screwed up sexual beings
who feel guilty for being so, because society says we're bad. And there are constant truisms in "Purity," which resonate and make me feel connected, which is what we're all striving for, like this musing on fame:
"'Here are two true things about fame,' he said. 'One is that it's very lonely. The other is that the people around you constantly project themselves onto you. This is part of why it's so lonely. It's as if you're not even there as a person. You're merely an object that people project their idealism onto, or their anger, or what have you. And of course you can't complain, can't even talk about it, because you're the one who wanted to be famous.'"
I have a miniscule amount of fame, but I know what Franzen is talking about here. I will get e-mail in response to this missive that excoriates me for going off topic, going on too long, not satisfying, not filling some deep hole inside the reader, who is angry, not at me, but with his or her own life. He or she did not fly to London on business class. He or she is struggling and is frustrated and is venting upon me, who is enjoying the perks of who I am but is concomitantly depressed that I'm not bigger than I am.
Ah, the conundrum.
Anyway, Felice and I deal with airports differently. Felice goes by instinct, I need to get directions, I need to feel comfortable, I don't want to make a mistake. Not that F. is with me, she gave up coming when she realized all we do is talk business. But I thought of her as I wondered how I was going to get to my connecting flight. I wish I had my Fitbit, I must've gone 10,000 steps getting to where I am now. And I eventually ended up at a security checkpoint that I failed.
That's right. We lined up in fours. We took our bins from beneath the rollers and filled them... Only I travel too heavy and had too much stuff and how do I put it all in one bin and will my laptop be injured by the equipment stacked upon it, yes, I removed my Mac.
But after scooting through the scanner the techs readjusted my stuff, got another bin, but then...my stuff didn't make it to me. Oh, a bit of it did, but not enough.
I'm sorry, I'm starting to rush. I misread my ticket. I thought I had to board at 12:45, when the truth is the doors close at 12:45. So I'm getting anxious, and I'm speeding through the part of the story I wanted to tell. Which is how efficient and magical the security system at Heathrow is. How the plastic bins recycle automatically. And, when they find an offending bag... It scoots behind a plastic wall all by itself. Well, the rollers change direction and it's pushed there.
And I'm marveling at this. And how the bin has an electric tag delineating the exact default. And I've got to wait for them to get to my stuff, the techs are backed up, and when they do, they rip my bag apart, literally, Velcro is separating, and they're swiping and not only are they going over my iPad and my Kindle, but the white power brick to boot. They're taking no chances.
I've got to wrap this up, I've got a flight to catch.
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I'm fascinated by foreign security. How the system seems so much more efficient. We nationalized the TSA and all we hear is guns get through. I can't imagine that happens in the U.K.
I took a BA, British Airways that is, flight from L.A. And I'm here to tell you not to. I thought that BA caught up with Virgin, but they had such a fakokta seating system it blew my mind. Every other airline gives you nearly a compartment in business class, but in an effort to make more money BA has this layout... It's essentially 8 across, with curved windows, and stools for your feet, and all during the flight little kids were leaving the center section and stomping on my toes. And I wouldn't mind if it weren't for the fact that this flight cost deep four figures. For that price, they should treat me like a king. Which BA's partner airline, American, does on this same route. I'm not paying, but I feel like complaining, even though I know it's falling on deaf ears. You see we all hate the airlines, as we should, except for those privileged to fly private and the self-satisfied and poor who go nowhere at all. I don't understand how people want less regulation. Air flight is a
utility. And oil prices have dropped through the floor but airline ticket prices have not. Have you flown to NYC recently? I paid nearly a grand for a coach seat, and I booked weeks before. It's a scam. The whole country's a scam. We lionize corporations, wanting them to endorse our efforts, while they keep squeezing us for profits for their shareholders. As for BA coach... Eegads, I snuck a peek and I've never seen such little legroom.
As for LAX. Actually, before LAX...
I took Uber to the airport. I'm so fearful of getting a lousy rating that I didn't call early, I mean use the app to get a driver early, because if they had to wait while I was schlepping my stuff from my house... And then, since I was going to the airport, no one wanted to pick me up and I had to wait the better part of ten minutes and then I was worried about being late, and I'm paranoid about not making the international cutoff time, which is strictly enforced. But my Uber driver was friendly and nice and driving while he worked on his standup career. Yes, I talk to the driver, worried once again I'm going to get a bad rating. And it turns out there are open mics every night, but there is no audience, not a real one anyway. Rather, it's just a bunch of comics, who don't laugh. But at least this guy is paying his dues. Which seems anathema in the music business, where everybody wants to have success instantly or keeps telling you how many dues they've paid.
And security at LAX...
I just don't get it, the richer you are, the skinnier you are. There's a national scourge of buttless women. Sure, Kim K. has an ample booty, supposedly surgically-enhanced, but the true upper class, the educated as well as wealthy, barely eats and must buy its jeans in the boys' department. It's a national competition, seeing if you can make your butt disappear. As for the men, most appreciate a little meat on the bone. And the overweight poor seem to be having all the fun. Knowing there's no upward mobility they eat and drink and screw and are happy in ways the uptight uppers are not. At least that's the way I see it.
But what blows my mind is how inefficient the scanning system is at the Bradley terminal. They're constantly running out of plastic bins, people are swiping them from other lines, and there are people cutting in, really, and it's all so frustrating and so unlike Heathrow.
So we landed. One good thing about flying in an A380 is the ride, it's like traveling on your living room couch. But the lighting was so bad, such a tiny beam built into the seat, that I was frustrated reading the newspaper and switched to magazines. Have you noticed every album in "Rolling Stone" gets a three star review? It's kind of funny, kind of like the magazine. Which was nearly unreadable, just endless press releases. Is this what the new regime has wrought? But after dinner I went back to the Jonathan Franzen book, which is blowing my mind. Because it's all about interior life, which is rarely seen or heard in America today. What people think, who they truly are, what they feel like as they roam the planet... That's the conundrum, we're all in it together, but we all feel so alone. As for the Franzen book, "Purity" in case you're playing the home game, if I printed a page here all hell would break loose. Because the truth hurts. The truth is we're screwed up sexual beings
who feel guilty for being so, because society says we're bad. And there are constant truisms in "Purity," which resonate and make me feel connected, which is what we're all striving for, like this musing on fame:
"'Here are two true things about fame,' he said. 'One is that it's very lonely. The other is that the people around you constantly project themselves onto you. This is part of why it's so lonely. It's as if you're not even there as a person. You're merely an object that people project their idealism onto, or their anger, or what have you. And of course you can't complain, can't even talk about it, because you're the one who wanted to be famous.'"
I have a miniscule amount of fame, but I know what Franzen is talking about here. I will get e-mail in response to this missive that excoriates me for going off topic, going on too long, not satisfying, not filling some deep hole inside the reader, who is angry, not at me, but with his or her own life. He or she did not fly to London on business class. He or she is struggling and is frustrated and is venting upon me, who is enjoying the perks of who I am but is concomitantly depressed that I'm not bigger than I am.
Ah, the conundrum.
Anyway, Felice and I deal with airports differently. Felice goes by instinct, I need to get directions, I need to feel comfortable, I don't want to make a mistake. Not that F. is with me, she gave up coming when she realized all we do is talk business. But I thought of her as I wondered how I was going to get to my connecting flight. I wish I had my Fitbit, I must've gone 10,000 steps getting to where I am now. And I eventually ended up at a security checkpoint that I failed.
That's right. We lined up in fours. We took our bins from beneath the rollers and filled them... Only I travel too heavy and had too much stuff and how do I put it all in one bin and will my laptop be injured by the equipment stacked upon it, yes, I removed my Mac.
But after scooting through the scanner the techs readjusted my stuff, got another bin, but then...my stuff didn't make it to me. Oh, a bit of it did, but not enough.
I'm sorry, I'm starting to rush. I misread my ticket. I thought I had to board at 12:45, when the truth is the doors close at 12:45. So I'm getting anxious, and I'm speeding through the part of the story I wanted to tell. Which is how efficient and magical the security system at Heathrow is. How the plastic bins recycle automatically. And, when they find an offending bag... It scoots behind a plastic wall all by itself. Well, the rollers change direction and it's pushed there.
And I'm marveling at this. And how the bin has an electric tag delineating the exact default. And I've got to wait for them to get to my stuff, the techs are backed up, and when they do, they rip my bag apart, literally, Velcro is separating, and they're swiping and not only are they going over my iPad and my Kindle, but the white power brick to boot. They're taking no chances.
I've got to wrap this up, I've got a flight to catch.
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