The Helicopter

Absolutely positively frightening.

And thrilling all at the same time.

I thought it would be easier coming back, but the guys in the copter were from Brazil and Mexico City, where whirlybirds are de rigueur, they were nodding out as the electronic music pulsed in the headphones and the vehicle was getting bounced around and the pilot had been in the military but only learned to fly when he got out two years before and please, dear God, let me live through this.

The wash from the bird next to you is unreal, almost enough to blow you away, literally.

And then they drive the thing down the runway, really, they're about six or eight feet from the ground, and they've got to go to this launching pad only you don't know this and there are other copters going in the other direction right next to you and you really want to elbow the pilot to say not to fly too close but then you turn around and take off and...WHEW!

I was worried we were going to hit the Stratosphere, it felt that close. But when I saw the traffic on I-15 I was happy I flew. And you've got to know it's Vegas and the desert, coexisting, what I mean by that is there are lights and then...nothing. And EDC is on the racetrack and they set the bird down and what did I see?

ASSES!

It's like every woman stopped eating three months before and was eager to demonstrate her cheeks. Truly.

It wasn't like this when I was a kid. You had to scramble to see boobies in adult magazines. But there were a few babes prancing topless. The rest were exhibiting their assets to the point that if you were outside the demo, your eyes would bug out and you'd be eager to touch.

And I had a long conversation with Afrojack. Who told me he does it for his fans. What he means by that is he's showing them they can make it, if he can, they can.

And making it means you stand in front of tens of thousands of people with the lights pulsing and...

This is your children's Woodstock. Something the old farts just don't get and still wouldn't if they attended. Hell, they'd freak if they saw how their progeny came dressed, all 140,000 of them.

And it truly is a carnival, with a cornucopia of rides, all included in the admission price.

And it's dark, but there's no danger.

And there were more fireworks than Disneyland.

And that's what it was like, an adult Disneyland.

Used to be the label was king, now the promoter is king. And the best promoters don't put on shows, but events. And this was the most full-blown, fleshed-out music event I've ever been to.

And I'm still digesting it.

But it's 4:25 AM and I've got to go to BED!

(I would have stayed up to see the dawn, Pasquale implored me to, but I'd never make my flight, and we old people need our SLEEP!)


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