How Money Makes People Act Less Human

You'd read an article about that, right?

Actually, I caught up a week late, reading the responses, in the "New York" magazine that just arrived today. And after finishing that issue, I delved into the prior one, containing the aforementioned article, which was billed on the cover as "Does Money Make You Mean? How even a little bit of wealth changes personality."

But the article was boring. Other than the quiz. Which I'm not sure is online. I found myself skimming. Then I came across this:

"T. Byram Karasu, a psychiatrist at Albert Einstein/Montefiore Medical Center who treats wealthy clients, believes all very successful people share certain fundamental character traits. They have above-average intelligence, street smarts, and a high tolerance for anxiety. 'They are sexual and aggressive,' he says. 'They are also competitive with anyone and have no fear of confrontations; in fact, they thrive on them. And in contrast to their image, they are not extroverted. They become charmingly engaging when needed, but in their private world, they are private people.' They are, in the parlance, all business."

Whew!

Let's start at the end. With the "charmingly engaged" bit.

Despite the existence of mega-corporations in the music business, almost each and every man, and they're all men, running these enterprises started out as an entrepreneur. One can argue they're working for the man so they can rape and pillage, not their customers or competitors, but the corporation itself. That's why they went inside. For access to all that dough. And a steady paycheck.

That's what you can't understand. With such a high guaranteed salary, why do they need such extreme bonuses?

That proves the point, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.

My initial point is each and every one of these men is charming. When they need something. That's what the acts can't fathom, how nice these execs are when they want something, you, and how disengaged they become after they've acquired you, or you've lost your fame.

That's how they're wired.

As for revealing intimacies, inadequacies, peccadilloes, they never do this, to be a powerful music business executive is to be stunningly private. The only person privy to their inner thoughts is their significant other, and oftentimes they don't even share with her or him. You see they're at war. They're on high alert. They're on the road to victory. They can show no vulnerability.

Now let's go back to the beginning. Each and every one of these music business titans is smart. I know them, trust me. They may not have gone to Harvard, then again, I know many people who went to Ivy League schools who don't even make six figures. Let's just say they were born that way. But they also have incredible street smarts. They can see how the game is played, where the edges are.

That's one of the reasons they make the big bucks. They can see where the extra dollars are, how to put together a deal so everyone comes out ahead just a bit. You won't hear the truth in public, at a conference, but go to dinner and hear the history, you'll be stunned. These street smart hustlers know where every dollar is buried and they're like generals, they never get depressed and despondent, if they lose today, they're figuring out how to win tomorrow.

As for the high tolerance of anxiety... I find that fascinating, because anxiety rules my life. But being an entrepreneur, which is how all these men got started, is fraught with anxiety. There is no safety net. You might manage a great act, but without a record deal and tour receipts, your commission ends up at zero. You're starving.

As for confrontation... That's what they do best. Get up on their high horse and kick and scream and yell and blow your house down. If you don't have this gene you're utterly overwhelmed, you cede ground just to evade the tsunami. Meanwhile, their issue isn't really anger management, they know what they're doing. They're intimidating you. That's how they win. Hell, Billy Beane admitted to this when I interviewed him and Michael Lewis at Pollstar...

So, are you one of the above people?

You think your 10,000 hours of dedication is enough. Have you ever met any rock stars? They're rarely nice. They're incredibly self-centered, they're the definition of narcissists. It's incredibly disillusioning to meet your musical heroes. It almost always disappoints.

Are you this kind of jerk?

If not, you're probably not going to make it. No diss. You're probably a very nice person. But we're talking about winning, power and money here, and that's got nothing to do with nice. Hell, this whole article posits that the wealthier you are, the nastier, less-caring of others you are.

You're slaving away for the company, working fourteen hours a day, seven days a week. You think you're working your way up. Probably not. Your boss sees you as a peon, if he even knows your name. He'll yell when you screw up, maybe kiss your behind when he needs something, but you're not friends. And if he needs to fill an important position, he's gonna hire someone he trusts, which may not be you, but someone from the outside, because he doesn't really know you. Furthermore, it's all about loyalty. Would you break the law for your boss? Would you refuse to turn him in if he committed a crime? If not, you're definitely going nowhere in the corporation.

Now we're not saying these titans are happy. Money doesn't buy you happiness. Unless you're close to broke. But our whole country is focused on the 1%. We alternate between loathing them and wanting to be them. As for wanting to be them, the article goes on to say "Nearly half of Americans between 18 and 29 believe it's 'likely' they'll get rich, according to Gallup - in spite of all evidence to the contrary."

So, half the public is deluding itself. Which is okay, as long as you're not at the edge of despair.

But if you want to be a winner, certainly in the music business, you can't be a nice guy, you can't be a compassionate soul who empathizes with the little guy. Because those people don't win at business. Sorry to say.

So instead of complaining that you're not rich and powerful, look inside. Ask who you are. Be thrilled with being a nice person, revere your spouse, have fun with your friends, something these winners usually have none of, but don't think you got a raw deal, that somehow you missed your chance.

You never had a chance. You weren't wired that way.

Maybe you can take some lessons and learn how to compete.

But that's hard to do. And do you want to?

http://nymag.com/news/features/money-brain-2012-7/


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