Rhinofy-The KISS I Like

I hate KISS. Or is it Kiss? No disrespect intended, from now on I'm going to use the latter. Then again, this is all about disrespect. Kiss was a johnny-come-lately with lousy songs that appealed to those who'd only recently experienced puberty. They went on the road playing their lame music to pyrotechnics, trying to force little kids into submission, yet it didn't work at all.

Until suddenly the band released a live album and "Rock And Roll All Nite" permeated the airwaves.

I like that cut.

This is all about the Kiss songs I like.

And there aren't many.

But there are some.

"Lick It Up"

Credit MTV. Without the outlet, this track would have had no traction, I'd have been oblivious. But every time this video came on, I stopped in my tracks and watched. It was like sucking down a Fudgesicle, all gooey and tasty, and it became the very first Kiss track I loved with all my heart, with no reservations.

Not that it's Hall of Fame worthy. And no, I don't believe Kiss belongs inside. Then again, certainly before Patti Smith and Madonna and so many other acts. Hell, they've got a place in the firmament. Maybe if they inducted the band Gene Simmons would publicize the joint and make it legit. But "Lick It Up" titillates and makes me nod my head and feel good all over, and isn't that what rock and roll is all about?

And isn't it interesting that this was when the band had run out of tricks and removed their makeup... You see it all really does come down to the music.

"Lick it up, lick it up..."

No, the success of the track is not due to the lyrics, but the guitars. Yes, despite Gene's tongue-extending trick being well-known at this point, the chorus is catchy but the meaning is irrelevant. But that guitar, it's like the track underneath the roller coaster, I'd ride that ANYWHERE!

It's crunchy and distorted. It's everything your parents hate. Even though at this point I was long gone from the family home. But the best rock and roll makes people uncomfortable. It's the squeal, the wail of the guitars. And here, it's really just about the riff. The sound of it.

But then there's the break... With the descending waterfall of picking at 2:40 that makes you feel like you're in the shower with the person of your dreams. It's the little things that matter, and it's this exquisite section that puts the track over the top.

Credit Vinnie Vincent for the magic.

Isn't it funny that Gene's got no room for anybody else's talent. Maybe if Vincent had remained in the band they would have done more memorable work.

Alas, soon he was gone, just like Peter and Ace.

But while he was around...

Still, what makes it a Kiss song is Paul Stanley's vocal. Just a bit too high in the register, just a bit strained, like his head is barely above water and he's fighting for survival. I'm not sure Paul would have made it without Gene, but being so close to the marketing savant, his image has been brought down. It's Paul who cowrote this song with Vinnie. Gene bullies his way in, but he possesses mediocre talent at best.

Meanwhile, there is one good lyric...

"You gotta live like you're on vacation"

No, the key is to have a job that feels like a vacation.

Still, vacation is an attitude, one that's carefree and irreverent, that takes no crap but doesn't care that much about it.

I wouldn't put "Lick It Up" in my personal pantheon, but I still smile every time I hear it.


"Cold Gin"

Yes, it's on the debut. But it didn't penetrate me until years later, until this century, when I heard it on XM.

You see on one level, "Cold Gin" sounded like everything else on the radio in the seventies, but that era's history, and what blended into the background back then now sticks out.

It's all about the riff.

Kiss is about loneliness. Male loneliness.

But when you hear the riff to "Cold Gin", you're alone no more.

Get behind the wheel, tear the tab on your beer, cruise down the highway in your jalopy and feel good... That's the power of a riff.

Once again, not written by Gene, but Ace.

(As for driving drunk...that's what we all used to do. Sorry for reporting the truth!)


"I Was Made For Lovin' You"

Unlike the Beach Boys, Kiss actually made a good disco song. Hell, you could listen to the entire track and not even know it was Kiss. Credit Desmond Child and Vini Poncia, who cowrote the song with Paul Stanley.

It rocks, it's danceable, yet not wimpy. It's not that different from club music today. It's all about leaving your inhibitions at the door and surrendering to the mood, the music.


"Crazy Crazy Nights"

Okay, now I'm starting to scrape the bottom of the barrel. This is so pedestrian, it almost doesn't belong on this list. But then there's the chorus. As hooky as anything in the Top Forty today.

That's what we're all looking for, crazy crazy nights. When we're so busy, running on adrenaline, that anything can happen, and does.

These are the good times we remember.

And there's a soundtrack to each and every one of them.

"Crazy Crazy Nights" fits some of them well.


"Forever"

If this sounds like a Michael Bolton track, it's because it is. Bolton cowrote it with Paul Stanley. Close your eyes and you can hear Bolton singing it. Or oversinging it, as the case may be.

Never forget Michael Bolotin tried to be a rocker before he became a schmaltzmeister. And I believe deep down inside, he still is. Instead, he got rich and famous singing saccharine ballads and was abused. Then again, I LOVE that Mutt Lange cut "Said I Loved You...But I Lied".

Yes, this a power ballad, from that era where guys in leather wimped out on MTV, but if you're not too proud to like a ballad, this is just as good as the Bon Jovi stuff. There are pretty good changes, your girlfriend likes it, which means...you might get lucky.

And don't you love that twinkly guitar in the intro?

"Forever" is not as good as the Beach Boys song of the same name, but it's not tripe. Then again, it really is tripe, but tasty tripe.


"Reason To Live"

Speaking of Bon Jovi, this was cowritten by the aforementioned Desmond Child, who had a hand in so many of Bon Jovi's classics. And this sounds straight off a Bon Jovi album, but that does not mean it's no good.

Desmond is all about the changes. And the anthemic singalong parts. And when he does it right, it doesn't reek of hackdom, you feel manipulated, but you don't really mind, it's like sucking down a McDonald's shake, you know it's full of artificial ingredients, but it still tastes good.


"God Gave Rock 'N' Roll To You II"

Many of the movie soundtracks are not on Spotify. So this track, from "Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey", doesn't appear under that title. But Kiss ultimately included it on their own album, "Revenge". And despite additional credit given to Simmons, Stanley and producer Bob Ezrin, the arrangement is essentially identical to the Argent original.

It's hard to understate how big Argent was in that summer of '72, when "Hold Your Head Up" dominated the airwaves.

"Hold Your Head Up" is better than anything Kiss ever did, in its entire career. Because Gene is a hack and Paul is a journeyman but Russ Ballard is an artist, not to underestimate the wizardry added by Rod Argent, who had success with Colin Blunstone before. And it is the keyboard textures that put "Hold Your Head Up" over, but without Russ's voice, never mind the underlying song, you've got nothing.

And after this monstrous hit, Argent followed it up with..."God Gave Rock And Roll To You". Which stiffed completely.

Now if Gene Simmons were in Argent, they wouldn't be forgotten. Then again, he would have been kicked out early on.

But the point is despite stiffing, "God Gave Rock And Roll To You" is a very good song, and when rescued from the dustbin by Kiss, it was turned into a hit.

Still, I don't think there's a kid under twenty five, maybe thirty, who knows "Hold Your Head Up". Not that they wouldn't love it, but no one's championing it, no one's keeping it alive.

And don't get me started on "Liar", from the band's debut. A perfect concoction with a haunting Ballard vocal, at least Three Dog Night turned it into a hit, you might hear it on oldies radio now and again.


"Rock And Roll All Nite"

And then there's this.

The studio take isn't bad, but the live cut was the hit, with the propulsive drums and the crunchy guitar (akin to the one in "Lick It Up"!)


And there you have it, the Kiss I like.

No "Detroit Rock City", no "Strutter", no "Christine Sixteen" and certainly no "Beth". Not that they're bad, but they're not good! They're serviceable, and that's not enough in rock and roll.

But back in the days when not every band came to your town, when you were too young for the Beatles, Kiss might have hit your sweet spot. You may like them.

But they're positively second-rate.

But Gene Simmons willed them to success. Put him in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame for that!


P.S. I know, Spotify is laden with lame covers. But back in the last century, when it took some money to imitate, and you had to be a bit creative, an outfit called Hayseed Dixie did country/bluegrass versions of...AC/DC. And not only was it a laugh, it was more than a novelty, you could listen to it. Ultimately, Hayseed Dixie gave Kiss the same treatment. And the cover of "Rock And Roll All Nite" misses, and "Lick It Up" is too fast, but "Cold Gin", slowed down, with a lazy groove, works. Check it out.


Spotify link: http://spoti.fi/p6HcZ8

Previous Rhinofy playlists: http://www.rhinofy.com/lefsetz


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