Dear Sugar Radio

Do you want to sleep with other people?

There's a podcast revolution taking place. Like the digital photography revolution, its arrival comes long after the hype. We heard for ten years that digital photography was going to kill film, and then, seemingly overnight, it did. And the funny thing is a picture is no longer what it once was. You snap photos incessantly because they're free, you forward them to friends and then you forget them. Photography is no longer expensive and rare, it's plentiful and the most trivialized moments are being memorialized. So, will podcasts triumph overnight and change "radio"?

I'm not sure. But there's so much fascinating listening that I almost don't have time for music. Radiolab is the progenitor, and still great. Marc Maron has established a beachhead. And Alec Baldwin evidences erudition and insight heretofore unheard from an actor.

But right now I'm hooked on Dear Sugar Radio. And it's all because of Cheryl Strayed.

Yes, she had that chart-topping book, "Wild," but unlike a successful rock star she's still unfiltered, unguarded, she's a real person giving her honest opinions, never mind revealing personal truths that we won't even admit to our loved ones.

Like her husband had an affair.

That she couldn't sleep before her book came out.

That a poet friend lives with her husband and boyfriend under the same roof.

HUH?

So it used to be an online advice column, started by Steve Almond on the Rumpus.

And then Cheryl Strayed took it over, albeit anonymously.

Now it's a podcast, wherein people ask Cheryl and Steve questions about life. Should I stay or should I go? Do all men admonish women for their weight? Is it all right if I want to stay married and screw other people?

And Steve bugs me. Because he's absent testosterone. That's one of the things the anti-bullying, politically correct modern communications era has wrought. I'm not saying boys should always be allowed to be boys and get a pass. But the truth is women often don't understand or misunderstand men. And by refusing to admit how they think you skew the whole discussion. Men do tend to be visual. They do tend to want to impress their friends. If Steve had only stated this there would have been a good starting point, instead he avoids the truth, for fear of offending the audience, which is primarily women. That's right, women are focused on relationship problems, they wrangle their emotions.

Just like me.

I can't get enough of this stuff.

And as much as Steve makes me wince, Cheryl makes me smile.

She says she learned one thing from all her e-mail. That EVERYBODY feels like an outsider! Imagine that, instead of feeling inferior you should be comfortable that you're one of the tribe, that you're human, that we're all flawed and equal to boot.

And Cheryl says the number one thing people want in a relationship is ATTENTION! That's not hard to give. Or is it? Makes sense if you think about it, if we're all outsiders, we want at least one person, our significant other, to get us.

And I'm not sure I approve of the format. Where they make calls and get opinions/takes. But as the series evolves, the people on the line have gained in status and importance and viewpoint. I think George Saunders is an overrated writer, he's part of the "New Yorker" echo chamber, kept alive by his teaching job, why does he get all the accolades when those more popular are denigrated? But his insight into negative feedback was wise.

Now you're pissed. You love George.

Get over it. And know that you feel superior when you love that which has a small audience, you want to be a member of a private club. And right now, Dear Sugar Radio is a private club. But when you listen to Arielle Greenberg testify about her husband and her boyfriend you'll want to tell everybody you know.

She and her mate were not sexually in synch. She wanted to open the marriage. She got in touch with an ex. Who was married without kids. She got attached, she made him tell his wife, he left her and moved to Maine to be with Arielle. First he lived down the street, then he moved in.

Arielle's kids were told that people could love more than one person.

Arielle and her husband's sex life was reinvigorated. Then it evaporated.

And I can't believe what's coming into my ears. Not only did you tell this story, BUT WITH YOUR NAME ATTACHED??? What will your neighbors say? People aren't THAT tolerant!

I'm not talking about rogue Mormons, I'm not talking about scripted TV shows... I'm talking about a regular person.

Personally, I don't buy it. I believe people become attached and they can't handle polyamory.

Or, they're like me. I can't handle polyamory. I could never have an affair, the telltale heart would evidence itself, I'd have to tell, in order to survive.

I don't think Arielle Greenberg's marriage lasts.

But it's one HELLUVA story!

And it's the kind of story you get on a podcast. Where people go deep into what only gets surface treatment in major media, if it gets coverage at all.

Because mainstream purveyors believe people only want to know about the beautiful people, they don't want to see the warts.

But we do!

We all have warts.

And an artist is one who reflects them back upon ourselves, with insight.

Will Cheryl Strayed write another hit book?

I don't know.

But she's an artist and she's a star. She's one of a kind and she's everyman. She's just like us, but she can not only tell her story, but give us insight into our own. She makes this crazy life just a bit more coherent. And a lot more entertaining.

So subscribe to Dear Sugar Radio.

Go into the podcast app on your iPhone, it's light purple, it's there, it was pushed to your device by Apple.

Then touch the search button in the bottom right-hand corner.

Then type in "Dear Sugar Radio" and hit the return button.

Click on the resulting icon. And then touch the button to subscribe.

Then click the cloud icon to download "Dear Sugar, Episode 8: Big Love (Polyamory And Its Discontents) Apr 4, 2015" to your device.

Or, you can go straight to Arielle Greenberg's story here:

http://www.wbur.org/2015/04/04/dear-sugar-episode-eight

Fast-forward to 21:00.

Or start at the beginning to get the feel, the set-up.

You won't be able to get this podcast out of your head.


--
Visit the archive: http://lefsetz.com/wordpress/
--
http://www.twitter.com/lefsetz
--
If you would like to subscribe to the LefsetzLetter,
http://www.lefsetz.com/lists/?p=subscribe&id=1

If you do not want to receive any more LefsetzLetters, http://lefsetz.com/lists/?p=unsubscribe&uid=0eecea7b60b461717065cbde887c8e25

To change your email address http://lefsetz.com/lists/?p=preferences&uid=0eecea7b60b461717065cbde887c8e25




-- powered by phpList, www.phplist.com --