More Sexual Harassment

The music industry crickets are because of fear. I'm not sure how much of this sh*t you want to publish, but here's more.

It's not just the old music industry that has problems. I worked at a very large streaming service. There are a lot of great people there, but a guy named ___________ is/was not one of them.

He is married and a father who brought his young children into the office regularly. He had been there for 6+ years and rose to become a VP who surrounded himself with direct reports of young, lesser experienced women. In public, he held a professional albeit very odd, nervous demeanor. In private, he threatened and intimidated women including me. One good example was after others in the company had positively noticed my capabilities, he became angry, got in my face and told me in a one on one meeting, "You cannot succeed in this company without my support, and I don't support you. I WILL NOT support you" then ended the meeting. Overnight I was removed from all distribution lists and meeting invitations. I did everything I could to avoid him until I finally left, as I realized I could never be successful in that environment.

In October 2017 an announcement was circulated that ___________ was leaving to "spend more time with his family." Odd, as his email was shut off within days. Turns out in addition to the intimidation and threats, he had a long-standing sexual relationship with a female subordinate whom he took on business trips, promoted, and gave a disproportionate salary increase. It's all about power, intimidation, and control. I'm glad he was fired, but the damage was done.

Why is it so threatening to have a capable female on the team?

Name withheld - yes, out of fear

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I was at SXSW and witnessed peers rally around her later after a female photographer, trying to shoot a showcase, had been assaulted by one of the the artist. She said he simulated sex on her and demeaned her in other ways while she was just trying to do her job. I heard at least one fan filmed it on their phone. The incident was reported. The artist was from another country. I don't know how the photographer is doing and I've not heard anymore about if the artist was charged or how it was addressed by others concerned.

Anonymous

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Thank god I'm a lesbian. Never thought there would be a time when I could say that and mean it.

If anyone in the business tried to make a pass at me, I made sure they knew I preferred women. It doesn't always work - sometimes I was treated like one of the guys, but sometimes men still thought they could "turn me." Most of the time it protected me from sexual harassment.

It's sad - with everything going on, more and more I am hearing friends leaving their jobs, or on the edge of leaving. Even men my age (late 20s) are unhappy with their jobs. Again, I'm going to say this is primarily a generational problem. I know it's not always the case, but I think the problem lies mainly with those of the older generation who haven't grown, and who aren't willing to pass the baton. Maybe it's time they learn a new skill - bee keeping, carpentry.. I hear those are popular in retirement.

Lastly, let's leave Ed Sheeran and Bruno alone. Also can we get a legit answer for why Lorde wasn't offered a performance slot? I met Neil once - pleasant experience (reminded me of Willy Wonka of the music biz - with all of the music toys in his office), but every year his speech sounds exactly the same. Just that alone should be a sign it's time for a younger successor. Charlie?

- Candace Carter
*not anonymous - because why should I be afraid of taking ownership of my thoughts.

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"As a feeling man, who cannot stand sexual abuse, i'm starting to feel ganged up on"

Get a grip. If you haven't enabled an abuser or been the abuser WHAT ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT?
I've got plenty of stories to share but wouldn't because I'm still early in my career and trying to get ahead. The fear of reprisal for people who've experienced that abuse of power is incredibly debilitating and accusations are not put forward lightly in most instances. And as for the lady's comments about how the route to solving this all is laughing off unwanted advances with a demeaning laugh.. what a crock of crap. She should thank herself lucky she felt powerful enough to do so without violent repercussions, check your privilege.

(Name withheld please)

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Women aren't the only ones exploited or "abusive" in the music industry.

I had a gig with a high profile country music FEMALE artist back in the early '90's and if I mentioned HER name, it'd end MY career!

After I repeatedly refused to sleep with her nightly, I was eventually fired. The band leader even asked me what the hell was wrong with me? It was common knowledge that she "required" new band members to bed down with her. He told me that was the reason she wanted me out. I wouldn't play along and fit in.

Call me Anonymous...

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HR HAS FAILED IN ALL COMPANIES NOTABLY NBC.
HR IS THE DISASTER.

Walter Sabo

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Hi Bob~

I wanted to pass along a note of gratitude for sharing my story. I have hundreds of messages of support and dozens of Charlie Walk reveal stories that found me through your newsletter. I'm not a subscriber personally so I don't know what you shared but it is clear to me that you have had a profound influence on many women... and for that I thank you. Thank you for supporting me and the thousands upon thousands of not just women, but people who have been and continue to work in fear in the music biz.

You. Are. Amazing.

--
With love and gratitude~
Tristan

Tristan Coopersmith, Chief Inspirologist
Life Lab


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