Very fine and compassionate thoughts, Bob, and wonderfully written, too. I'm reminded of many women I've known in the Arts and Music and the unfair difficulties they've faced in spite of their very important contributions. I especially think of someone very close to me. Tina Weymouth was repeatedly demeaned, humiliated and marginalized by the same person she faithfully made look good night after night, record after record. It was not easy for her but she remained loyal to the band in spite of everything. Sadly, he did not.
Keep up the good work.
Chris Frantz
_____________________________________
Thanks for sharing these stories Bob. As a woman I've seen my share and have kept quiet. It was a price to pay to play in a man's world. It can be life altering to speak up and in most cases it's not for the best. I stood my ground and didn't let it happen to me but having to deal with it to keep climbing, to pretend it didn't bother me so that I could hang with the big boys was not in our culture's best interest. Thank you for being the channel to let these people be heard. Just knowing someone is listening or cares can make the biggest difference in helping to heal.
Jacklyn Agor
_____________________________________
I was a senior executive at 4 different labels and a partner at a major entertainment law firm. In my career I was all too familiar with 1 egregious case
of sexual abuse. But other than that one case I was never aware of any other instance of abuse at any of the places I worked at. Now I am NOT saying other abuses
didn't occur at the companies I was at; nor am I saying that some people in the company were aware but silent of abuses. But I am saying that many executives who honestly
did not know would have not tolerated that behavior had they known. This is not a criticism of victims who felt they couldn't voice at the time; of course I get that. I just wish
more could identify themselves now so they could identify the culprits who deserve to be outed.
David Berman
_____________________________________
Bob, thank you for compiling these letters and putting them out there. We as men need to be the allies that we can be to women. I appreciate your allowing women to share their stories through you.
My wife was raped twice before she was 15 by so called friends of hers. I don't know both of their names but I do know one. _______________ in __________. I can't see actual justice done for her. But maybe I can save some other people from him or potentially cause him some public shame.
Joel Price
_____________________________________
I am a psychologist. As you know now (if you didn't know before), there is a tsunami of stories like these.
I have heard them for almost 4 decades.
I hope you know how VALUABLE it is that you are sharing these stories with your list.
I appreciate you and I'm sure THOUSANDS of other women and men do too.
Thank you.
Dr. Julie Helmrich
Milwaukee, WI
_____________________________________
Your retelling of these stories through your platform is the single most important work that you've ever done. It's everything you're saying that was missing about JT's Super Bowl performance...every artist and influencer has a responsibility to say something with their platform that matters. Entertainment and good feels are not enough.
As a white male in the industry who is devastated and embarrassed by every single story, I'm grateful for what you're doing. We have a responsibility to these women. My gender, specifically white men, are a part of the problem and I'm trying to determine for myself what more I can do as a manager who has male and female clients and a female staff member that I would be lost in this business without. Thank you again for giving each of these women a place to tell their stories so they can be heard.
Josh Lujan Loveless
_____________________________________
This might be the most important work you've done. Keep it up.
JK
John Kendle
Winnipeg, Canada
_____________________________________
Bob, I think that regardless of what the black-and-white truth is in these cases, it's absolutely awesome that you're providing the sounding board for all the affected. Write on!
Yuri Mamchur
_____________________________________
Thank you!
Karla DeVito
_____________________________________
Keep doing what you're doing. I completely agree with and support your efforts.
Thank you.
Kevin Thomas
_____________________________________
THANK YOU FOR SAYING THIS, NO MEN ARE LISTENING!!!!
Scarlett Rabe
_____________________________________
Thank you.
Julie Helmrich
_____________________________________
Good work.
Michael A. Becker
_____________________________________
Thank you.
Rosemary Carroll
_____________________________________
Fantastic post, Bob! Yes, yes, yes!!!!
Sarah Friedrich
_____________________________________
Way to go! Love it
David Stern
_____________________________________
thank you for listening and speaking up.
Colleen Kenny
_____________________________________
Bravo
Lisa Battista
_____________________________________
Wow !
Yay Bob !
Barbara Rounds
_____________________________________
Damn Lefsetz PREACH PREACH PREACH PREACH.
CAPITAL LLC
_____________________________________
Fantastic Bob. You are the Sir Lancelot of the music "industry"!
The "ancient men" pretty much sums it up.
Michael Des Barres
_____________________________________
I think these conversations are righteous, and these bent fuckers need to suffer repercussions...
Young Hutchinson
_____________________________________
Right on, Bob! Thank you from an old white male geezer who agrees with everything you said. "There must be some way out of here" and women are leading us there.
David Hutchison (age 65, gulp)
Roseburg Oregon
_____________________________________
Wow! Holy shit this is good writing! Thank you.
Nicole Paradiso
_____________________________________
Wow. Don't stop writing, Bob. This country, this world, needs to acknowledge, change it up & evolve. We can do so much better for ourselves & those inheriting what we've started.
Thank you- Joel in SF
Joel Messerer
_____________________________________
This moment could be why you were put on earth, Bob. I'm proud of you.
Paula Fraceschi
_____________________________________
YES! Thank you, thank you, thank you for being a decent human being and an amplifier.
Critical messages.
kind regards,
Sarah Beatty
_____________________________________
Thank you for this, Bob. You're a beacon of hope for this new upcoming generation of music execs. Hopefully, this thought leadership has some staying power.
Sincerely,
Grace Chang
Live Nation '07 - '12
_____________________________________
Every man on the planet can take this as an incredible opportunity for healing and self-awareness, as many have done, by looking profoundly inside and confronting and being totally aware of what each of them has done. This can lead first- to forgiving themselves, and then - seeking forgiveness from others.
Thanks,
David Rubinson
_____________________________________
Thank you for writing this. Your observations and a call for cultural change are really important to the women who have endured demoralizing sexism throughout their entire careers as well as to the young women just starting out in the business. The irony is that if a woman had written these exact thoughts, her words would have been quickly dismissed by many readers. She would likely have been perceived as someone that was bitter about a failed career, or a woman that had some sort of agenda we should all be suspicious of.
We need more men to "step it up" if we're going to fix this. Men should be: calling out sexism when they encounter it, even if it means making a man uncomfortable, mentoring young women with no sexual ulterior motives, and listening to what women say in meetings and acknowledging their thoughts publicly.
Fawn Goodman
_____________________________________
Would you forward a "thank you" from me to the woman who wrote about her PR company and how her male contemporaries are on their second homes while she struggles? I really needed to just hear another woman say this to validate my fears today.
This is what #MeToo is about ultimatley- the sexual harassment and assault is the terrifying bi-product of power culture. One larger issue here is that women still cannot pay for a lives as easily as our male counterparts, and it's not just a little struggle, its a major financial difference.
Additionally race plays a role as well. I'm white and am keenly aware that my race makes it even easier for me than my female non-white counterparts. I can only name two non-white female promoters!
Thanks Bob -
Jen Lyon
_____________________________________
Bob, most off my friends are women.
Mostly because most men are complete dickheads. I have been telling my women friends for years of how they are at a distinct disadvantage. The good ole boy mentality is ancient and handed down and women are the only ones who stand a chance of changing this. Men aren't going to do this on their own. When a man goes out into the world he feels in competition with other men. They don't even look at women as competition. For the most part they're not even a consideration. So women not only have to go up against all the men out there but they also have to go up against all the other women as well.
Kudos for making an attempt.
Peppyc
_____________________________________
I wear my #Metoo label with a mixture of pride and self loathing. I have always considered myself to be a bad ass, tough as nails, crazy Scottish Redhead born under the sign of Aries. I was a topless dancer in NYC when I was 16 years old. I partied with the rockstars at Mercer Arts and Max's Kansas City. My friends were all male, I hung with the boys, because I preferred their raucous behavior and sense of humor. I worked in the music industry later on, culminating in 40 some odd years in one capacity or the other. But when I read these stories from women who are survivors too, I'm slammed with shame and guilt that I didn't fight back...that must mean I wanted it, right? I mean, I didn't get punched, or stabbed or shot. It was just a simple forced intercourse in the middle of the night, in the dark. No biggie.
But I was a young, stupid girl back then. So how, years later, as a 50 year old woman, did I wind up in an apartment, fighting off a fairly well known artist's advances? And how did I wind up finally giving up and giving in? And how did I feel that awful shame again? Shame on me! And I still speak to him. In fact, when I was living in LA a few years ago, I ran in to him. He asked me to "come over" to his house that night. I declined, but I found myself making stupid excuses, actually feeling BAD that I was declining! Jesus…how totally fucked up is that? Fortunately, I don't interact with him that often, and no, I haven't told anyone about the attack, except for one friend, who rode my ass about not reporting it, and I wasn't ready then and I'm not ready now…I can't say why..because I really don't know...
But then...there was THIS -
I read a comment in your newsletter from someone I've known since 8th grade. Jack Ponti. Now there's a piece of work. Obnoxious? check. Rude? check, Sexual predator? check. I'm not sure if he's ever actually attacked anyone, but I know he likes to touch, and he certainly has a way with words. He likes to brag about conquests he's never made (as well as music endeavors he was never involved in) all the while putting others down for what he perceives as their shortcomings, or, "lack of success" in the industry.
Awww, hell, I'm just venting...seeing his name in print attempting to be relevant again after trashing others (myself included, after I always had his back growing up) just opened up those rotten cesspools of annoyance.
Unfortunately the damage has been done. Some of these perpetrators are dead, or dying. Most may not even remember the shit they did. And those who do will either deny or throw out the over used "Well, that's how it was back in the day. Everyone did it"....I would ask those same guys, "What would you do if it was your daughter, or granddaughter?"...but that question has been asked...and there really isn't anything that can be said to wash away the stench of all the dirty laundry that keeps getting added to this pile.
Warm regards,
Sher Bach
_____________________________________
Subject: Salacious? No, Insidious.
My second attempt at an email today - the fact is so many women who have had experiences worth sharing here are too busy building our businesses, taking care of our families and defending our essential freedoms (like net neutrality) to write. I'm no different, and I could tell you a salacious story. But I haven't told my mother yet, who deserves to hear it from me first. Since she's well into her 70s now, don't hold your breath.
Instead contemplate the possibility that the powerful truth of what holds women back every day isn't necessarily the gruesome stories you've published over the last 48 hours. It's the many insidious indignities that over time pile up, wear away at you, exhaust you, leaving you feeling like - what's the use? I'm just going to keep putting my shoulder to the wheel here. Until finally you're mad as hell -- someone like Hillary loses to a pussy-grabber like Trump-- and you find yourself yelling, "I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE."
If you're looking for something salacious scroll on, but your stories sparked the memory of the reason I left the music business in the first place. It's a night in a club somewhere in Florida in the late 90s - Orlando, Gainesville, Tampa, Tallahassee - who can remember. My band headlined for kids who had been lined up for hours outside to get into the venue, which was magical. They'd had a drag show in there the night before, and we left all the decorations up. Sparkly silver streamers, blinking lights. At the time, there weren't many bands like ours that made it to towns like those, and any kid that listened to college radio was there. We were passing through the long way home from LA back to Atlanta.
I conducted almost all the business for the band. I negotiated with the local label to fund our first record. I brokered our dream producer into a deal with a major indie - Too Pure, who was backed by American and Warner. Every night I also buttered up the narcissistic sound guys who wanted to explain to me how my amp worked during sound check, and every night I made sure we got paid.
That night in no-name night-club in Florida, we played a beautiful show to a fire-marshal capacity crowd. At the end of the night, like so many nights before - I settled up with the promoter. He tried to explain to me what the take was, but I had done the math. While pretending to sing in rapturous bliss, I was really counting the heads, because I had done these numbers before. At about 3 in the morning, I stood at the bar with him counting cash, and it was short. Way short. I looked down at the paltry sum. I looked up at the back-lit bottles. "Sweetie," he said," let me explain to you how this works. . ." as he placed his hand in the small of my back.
I didn't hear another word he said after that, because I could only hear my inner voice saying to me loud and clear, "you're too fucking smart for this."
I decided to leave the music business that night, and that's been my mantra ever since. I've only ever worked with smarter and smarter men since then - like the first one to whom I told this story (Geoff Cottrill), like the one who founded Sonos (John Macfarlane) and the men who are my colleagues today. Name the names of the good men sisters, as well as the bad. You, Bob Lefsetz, thanks for listening.
The sad thing about this story is the band I left behind. Our friends in the scene went on to great success: Catpower, Prefuse 73, Mastodon. Who will ever know what we could have done if I hadn't gotten so fed up? And that's the ultimate lesson for men and women alike: you depend on the talents of others for your success. No one. No one does it alone. Are you creating a scene where those whom you need the most will be a part of your success? Or are they standing around you thinking to themselves, "I'm too fucking smart for this?"
In solidarity,
Joy Howard
Sonos
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