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I thought it was on "Fahrenheit." That's my favorite Toto album.
The initial one had "Hold the Line," which was all over the radio.
The second one was "Hydra," which was less successful commercially, but was the one that sold me. I was on a flight from L.A. to Aspen and heard "99" on the in-flight program, remember those? With those squishy headphone ends? That was the only musical option you had, there were no smartphones, never mind iPods or even Walkmans. And the choices were always cheesy. Well, at least the ones for rock. There were usually seven channels or so, and the hip one was out of date, with anomalies no self-respecting fan of FM rock would listen to. But you checked it out nonetheless. And did I say the audio was poor? This was before noise-canceling headphones.
I eventually bought "Hydra," on vinyl, cassettes were for amateurs, if you needed a portable version you made your own, in real time, which were far superior to those duplicated at high speed by the manufacturer. And from the very beginning "Hydra" was intriguing. This was back when albums were statements, works of art, and were created that way, where the first tack might not be the single, but an introduction to the act's latest opus. And in truth, the opening track, the title track, started off majestic, orchestral, then fell into a groove, and then became almost prog rock, but that was an English construction, there was never a credible American prog rock band and no one ever considered Toto to be prog. But really it was the second track, "St. George and the Dragon," that sealed the deal, with David Paich's keyboard intro, it was hard not to nod your head. Forget the lyrics, it's the sound that's intriguing, and the dynamics, this was a freight train of a band, akin to those of the late sixties stages, yet with the edges worn off but with the power remaining. And then come "99."
The third LP, "Turn Back," didn't build on what had been established, so no one could have predicted the subsequent opus, "IV," which was all over the radio and won all those Grammys. Toto was not a Top Forty band, but "IV" crossed over. And there was the connection to Rosanna Arquette. You didn't have to own it, you still heard it. In a way nothing is heard today. And isn't it funny that when the band excised outside producers and did it themselves they reached the zenith.
It's nearly impossible to follow up a monolith, just ask Alanis Morissette, and Toto couldn't either, "Isolation" was a commercial disappointment.
But then came "Fahrenheit." Not that anybody was waiting for it with bated breath.
The band had gone through changes. Canning its original singer, Bobby Kimball, for Fergie Frederiksen, and since the act was following up a monster, this news was all over the press, contributing to the disappointment of "IV"'s follow-up "Isolation." And then with "Fahrenheit," the band switched singers once again, to Joseph Williams, son of John, huh?
But I saw "Fahrenheit" in the promo bin and purchased it, remembering how much I enjoyed "Hydra," and I dropped the needle, yes, CDs were available in 1986, but they were still expensive and not fully embraced, and was immediately drawn in.
"Till the End,' which was actually the opening, had the magic of "St. George and the Dragon" but Williams evidenced a bit more emotion than his predecessors Kimball and Fredriksen. He was spitting the lyrics, however sweetly, and they seemed to be authentic.
And then "Fahrenheit" maintained the magic. The second cut, "We Can Make It Tonight," was magical from the beginning and listening one knew this LP was a winner, two in a row isn't easy. And really, the album is great, not for punk rockers, but if you can appreciate sweetness and talent all wrapped up into one, in an era where you didn't have to have an edge to succeed, you'll dig it. But the best track is the first side closer, "I'll Be Over You." Wikipedia tells me it had impact on Top 40 and AC, but I never listened to those formats. But I did make a cassette of "Fahrenheit" and played it in the car. I didn't care what anybody thought, although at this point most rock fans were not thinking of Toto, because of the dud that preceded it, and let my mind drift. The truth is all men have soft spots, they just don't like to show them. But get a few drinks in them in a dark room and you'll be stunned what they have to say, reminiscing about old loves, missed chances. They might be pierced and tattooed, wearing a leather jacket, but they're all looking for a woman to embrace them, to fall into and soothe their wounds (or a man!)
So when I was creating my yacht rock playlist I thought "I Won't Hold You Back" was on "Fahrenheit," because that's the Toto album I know best, by heart, but it's not. I was stunned to find out "I Won't Hold You Back" was on "IV."
And listening I realized it was LUKATHER! The stinging guitar player, who'd made his bones in the studio, he sang "99," "I'll Be Over You" and "I Won't Hold You Back" and was involved in the writing too. Of all the guys in the band, the one with the spiky hair and the swagger is the introspective one with a soft side?
"If I had another chance tonight
I'd try to tell you that the things we had were right
Time can erase the love we shared
But it gives me time to realize just how much you cared"
It's over, he has regrets. He knows he acted badly, he knows he was at fault, he feels bad about it. As for time erasing the love you share...I don't believe that, your beloved remains frozen in your brain, they're still in your heart, you can move on, but you can never get completely over them.
"Now you're gone, I'm really not the same
I guess I held myself to blame
Time can erase the things we said
But it gives me time to realize that you're the one who's sad"
You don't realize what you've got till it's gone, that's true. As for time erasing the things that were said...it's funny, the zings, the dealbreakers, they fade away and you only remember the good times.
But the verses are just a set-up for the chorus. They're the story, but not the hit to the body, the magic that puts "I Won't Hold You Back" over the top. This is something music can do that movies and TV cannot. A repetitive dart to the heart that infects you that you never recover from. The best songs you never really burn out on, they've got a special place inside you.
And the majesty of "I Won't Hold You Back" does not appear in most tracks. There's something similar, especially with the harmonies, in Chicago's "(I've Been) Searchin' So Long," but that ends on an exuberant note whereas "I Won't Hold You Back" does not, everybody still remains where they are, disconnected and apart. As for what his ex beloved feels we have no idea. He's stating that he cares for her. He's accepted it's over, but...
"You know I won't hold you back now
The love we had just can't be found
You know I can't hold you back now"
You stop reaching. You let them go. You still have your feelings, but they're unrequited. Or maybe you were such a bad boyfriend they refuse to return, many times bitten, very shy. He's setting her free, reluctantly. He won't interfere. But he now realizes what he lost. She cared, they shared, it worked until he screwed it up. That's right, the love they had just can't be found, There are billions of people in the world, but finding someone you can connect with and be with is damn hard.
But it's more than the lyrics. More than the changes. More than the background vocals (although those are superior and magical unto themselves, enough to make the track memorable all by themselves). It's the orchestrations of James Newton Howard and Marty Paich, and Luke's stinging guitar on top of it all in the instrumental section.
But it's always back to that chorus. Over and over again. Just like you play the relationship over and over in your head.
Toto were criticized for all the stuff that's now a lost art. Aces with studio experience, who can both write and play who didn't start doing it for the fame. Mixed in with the orchestra made possible by a lot of money and studio time. Seemingly all these elements are gone. Studio musicians... There are few sessions, few opportunities. Maybe because there's not enough money to get it right in the big rooms. But now the search is for something grittier, less sweet, based on rhythm as opposed to melody. And those leaning in that direction are so sappy as to be discarded by anybody who's been around and seen the real thing. Used to be the music was enough to sell the record, few knew who was even in Toto, now personality is dominant, and you burnish it with social media. As for tracks that are forever?
"I Won't Hold You Back" is forty years old, but it sounds as fresh and impactful as the day it was released. It's not dated by period sounds. And first and foremost it's a song. And the message is eternal. And it's a revelation to hear that guitar solo screaming over the orchestra, that's not even a sound in today's canon.
Surprisingly, "Africa" came back, as a result of a cover by Weezer. Do I expect "I Won't Hold You Back" to come back? No, because the hipsters in charge of such things don't want to touch, to embrace something that puts the heart first, it's kryptonite to them, but in truth it's what so much of the audience wants, and needs. Along with a significant other.
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