Maame

https://amzn.to/40YbSFY

This is a "Read With Jenna" book. And usually that means I won't read it. I don't have anything against Jenna, but she usually recommends middle of the road stuff that will satiate her audience yet is anything but literary fiction.

It had to go back to the library, so I dove in on my Southwest flight, and I was ripping right along but when I was sitting in DIA waiting for my van I told myself I had to stop reading it. It was just too lowbrow, too predictable. Inexperienced woman leaves home and goes on dates and yada yada yada...aren't there a zillion books like this?

Well, the twist is the protagonist is Ghanian, however she grew up in London. She is Black in a White world. And aware of it. And she's also taking care of her dad who has Parkinson's.

I mean this was chick lit. And life is too short and I have too much other stuff I want to read.

But then a couple of plot points didn't turn out the way I thought they would and suddenly, the book got heavy, and there was all this discussion of introversion. And the counselor says:

"I believe in two dominant introvert types. Those who have always enjoyed their own company and those who have grown to prefer it because they weren't given much of a choice."

I used to be more outgoing. Then about thirty years ago, the script flipped. Maybe it was being a writer, if someone made contact I'd listen to their stories, hungry for any kind of connection. I got to the point where I couldn't even tell my own story. If you're around me and I'm blathering know that I'm in a good mood, relaxed, but usually I'm asking questions, trying to make the other person feel comfortable so I'll feel comfortable.

"Maame" got totally into this.

And then the main character cracks and lets her feelings fly, tells her mother the truth, what she feels inside. This is exactly what happened to me. I was going to the shrink and I was listening to my mother and she was pushing me and...I laid it on her. She was shocked. It was a breakthrough for me. But rust never sleeps and my mother started needling me again and I had to push back and after I went to college I couldn't tell my mother my truth because she'd twist it and use it against me. All this stuff about my mother...she's dead and gone, and I don't want you to think I'm haunted by her, because to a great degree her death set me free, but when I read about the mother/daughter relationship in "Maame," it resonated.

So last night I stayed up until one finishing "Maame." And that's not late for me, but I adjust my hours when I go skiing. Not that you can go out too early right now, because the snow freezes overnight and you have to wait for it to soften up. And my goal was to finish the book before my Kindle died, I forgot to bring the charging cord, but I was also invested. That's the great thing about a book, it hooks you, you're in a private universe. And in "Maame" that happens about halfway through.

So the last thing I thought I was going to do was recommend "Maame." I was determined to finish it, because completion not only builds character, it pays dividends. You never know where the book is going to go. Just like you never know what will happen when you walk out the front door. But too many people are set in their ways, and it's risk that makes life worth living, it's all about the unexpected. Especially as you get older and you've seen the trick, when you're no longer working for work's sake, when you've retired because you're exhausted and hate your job or you're working because you love it so much. You still have to push when you age, don't become complacent.

But the point being this book made a big impression on me. And unlike Jenna and so many of the book group leaders, I don't like to recommend books on a schedule, I only want to recommend books that are worth your time.

So... I wish we had a male equivalent of Oprah and even Jenna. But everybody thinks men only want to read nonfiction, are interested in what Bill Gates and Obama read. I mean why? Gates is a techie with huge blind spots and Obama is better, but this is not his passion, recommending books. And in truth men are seeking stories, fiction, just as much as women, but it's hard to get them to partake, to read. They think they're too busy. And you do have to make time for books, but they're oftentimes more rewarding than your priorities, like watching the game.

But if you can suffer the predictable chick lit first half to be hooked by the deep, meaningful second half, I recommend "Maame." It'll have you thinking, about your relationship with your family. About obligation. Those who feel they need to show up and those who believe they're free and don't have to.

I just wanted to tell you about this book, because it left a lasting impression. Too many books are page-turners, and when you're done there's nothing left, you followed the plot, but you're not personally affected.

"Maame" affected me. And it might affect you too.

Give it a try.


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