Jeffrey Foskett

He was a really good guy. And I'm not just saying that because he died.

I knew who Jeffrey was before I knew him. He was the guy on stage with Brian Wilson, the one hitting the high notes, the one who turned his big red guitar around during the show so we could see where it was painted "Smile."

But I don't remember exactly how we met. Maybe over e-mail. I could comb the archives but I don't want to, I'm too creeped out that he died.

He was sick. Diagnosed and originally treated in the Bay Area he went to MD Anderson in Houston and they kept him alive, year after year. He'd check in on a regular basis, apropos of nothing. Tell me he was getting treatment, asking how I was and really wanting to know.

Before that we'd connect at shows. I remember when he took me to meet Brian on the tour bus. Prepping me regarding what to expect.

And the last time I saw him was with Mike Love, a few years back at the Vilar in Beaver Creek. He introduced me to Mike Love and Bruce Johnston and we all had a very interesting hang in the dressing room.

And Jeffrey was not a typical musician, he was clean, and always was, no dope and no drink. And a believer, as in religion. But you wouldn't know all this if he didn't tell you. And he'd had bariatric surgery, he used to weigh over 300 pounds, he'd reference this now and again. That was the funny thing about Jeffrey, he held nothing back, either about himself or those around him. He would testify not in a gossipy way, but an honest way, as if you were buddies since second grade.

And then he had to go off the road, because of his treatment, but then he went back out, even though he could no longer sing.

Let's see...

Jeffrey checked in on February 11th, and that was the subject of his e-mail, "Checking in".

And then again on March 3rd.

And on March 20th he said:

"I am praying for your health. Interestingly, my pre infusion drugs are Tylenol, Benadryl and Pepcid. Benadryl must be the key to no nausea. 

I hope your pemphigus is under control and that you are comfortable. 

Thank You for supplying me with interesting reading in the LL.

Stay Healthy. God Bless You 
Jeffrey"

And on June 20th:

"Just checking in after reading 'The Infusion'. Is your pemphigus at least under control to where you are comfortable to sleep, walk, drive, etc.?

I am doing great. For me, there is no better place than MD A. They are keeping me thriving

I'm still praying for you my friend

Love and Blessings - Jeffrey"

And on July 24th, regarding antisemitism:

"Hi Bob,

I am a Stone Christian. Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. Are these emails for real? I am so thoroughly disgusted that I want to crawl into a hole. From our private email exchanges, You know that I pray for you and your ongoing health situation on a daily basis. The person that wrote this garbage is a stain to all of humanity. On one hand I am grateful that you published them on the other, it literally sickens me. What happened to the world? I guess I have been so caught up in healing that I have ignored other truly important aspects of my surrounds. 

I am sorry for the personal attacks on you and your Religion. It is disgraceful. My heart literally hurts

God Bless You - Jeffrey"

Where do you find friends like that? Believe me, they're rare. And when one is that genuine, thinking of you, regularly checking in, you have an ethereal bond that goes beyond regular friendship.

When I heard of Jeffrey's passing I thought I'd heard from him more recently, in October or so, I was surprised to find his last missive was in July. Which makes me think he had a rough time of it. And one thing they don't tell you about cancer is it's painful. But Jeffrey had such belief in MD Anderson that he convinced me, after years of treatment on a regular basis, that he'd be here for years to come.

But he's not.

And many people have no idea who Jeffrey Foskett is. But those he touched, they'll never forget him, because he was genuine, because he was a good guy. Fake was not in his bones.

What angers me most is he can't read this, he can't know how much he meant to me, how he touched me.

I don't know what to do with this empty feeling. My contemporaries are dying on a regular basis. It used to be a rare event, usually through misadventure, but now... You can't metabolize these passings. Some before their time, like Jeffrey, at 67, others like Christine McVie, who didn't make it to 80, never mind Jeff Beck. And then Ryan O'Neal. We bonded over having CML. He was a funny guy, he lived in the present, if he brought up the past it was like you'd been there together. He was honest about his son, he had to show me his Tesla Model X, and now he's gone at 82. That might seem old to some, but if you're a boomer, if you're past Medicare age, that's scary. You count on those years, you think you'll be active until sometime shy of 90, and then you won't be so great, but you'll continue to enjoy TV and a good meal and music, if you can still hear. We keep pushing finality into the distance, But one by one team members are falling by the wayside. They might be gone, but their legend lives on, even if they were not famous.

So if you've been to a Brian Wilson show, if you've seen the Beach Boys in the past decade, you experienced Jeffrey Foskett. He was the glue that held it all together. The utility man who provided what the legends no longer could. And he didn't want notice, he was glad to be the midwife for some of the greatest music of all time.

Yes, first and foremost Jeffrey Foskett was a Beach Boys fan. The fact that he got to play with his idols?

You can't ask for much more than that.

He was cut down before his time, but he exceeded his dream.

May he live in an endless summer ever after.

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