The Kennedy Center Honors

This is what is going to disappear. Along with gasoline automobiles and so much more. A variety show with dancing and singing? They're already gone from regular network TV, the idea of appealing to everybody went by the wayside not only with cable TV, but with the internet and streaming no one watches what they do not want to. As a matter of fact, I skipped Queen Latifah and Rénee Fleming, I just don't have time for over the top hagiography in today's earthy world where we're looking to pierce hearts and minds viscerally as opposed to platitudes written by calcified writers operating under a dead construct.

And speaking of dead...

Joe Biden is the Democrats' 1/6. As in we can see it with our own eyes and the man's acolytes keep telling us we're wrong. Man, this guy is OLD! And stiff. He needs the Tin Man to give his body some oil. And when he speaks... There's little power and you start to wince. Complain to me all you want, that's just the point, you can't admit that the guy is too old and we need someone new. These are the same people who believe the Kennedy Center Honors appeal to anyone who isn't nearly dead themselves. The brain might work, he might have done good things in office, but this dude is over the hill. Don't talk to me about Trump being only four years younger, as you keep telling us people age at different speeds, and Trump, at least physically, is aging much more slowly than Biden. As for his mind...

If you're following the polls, you know that Nikki Haley is within four points of Trump in New Hampshire. That's the headline, the truth is just a bit different. It's eight points and with the margin of error being four, the headline is four. In any event, that's close. And I'd say Nikki Haley has a chance, but after the Honors I picked up my phone to find out Nikki wouldn't admit that slavery was the cause of the Civil War. I mean talk about a layup. And it's a bad look no matter how you spin it. You're afraid of offending white nationalists so you won't admit a truth over a century and a half old? Then again, maybe these states are turning into Gaza, with their book bans and rewriting of education, have you seen the clip where they delineate what is taught to these kids? Check it out here: http://tinyurl.com/5963mfd8 And while you're at it, say it's wrong. That's today's world, everything is up for grabs, there is no accepted truth, and there are no universal stars.

That's right, fifty years from now they'll be honoring social media influencers, who've got more reach than streaming stars. Did you see the article that today's young kids watch programming on YouTube, not paid streaming outlets? Disney thought this was their ace in the hole, you've got to pay for the history of cartoon fare. But kids are satisfied with what's on YouTube: http://tinyurl.com/mr25rdps Wait long enough and the world turns in unexpected ways. YouTube tried original production and failed. Turns out it's not about company-produced stuff, just like Amazon is really eBay under a different moniker. That's where the company makes its money, on third party products.

So first they honored Dionne Warwick.

Well, first we had Gloria Estefan with a song and dance intro, so lame I couldn't wait for it to end. Maybe tell a few jokes. Like Robert DeNiro, who turned out to be the biggest comedian on stage. He took a potshot at Biden's age. He came up to the line of taboo. Everybody else was stuck in the sixties, if not the fifties.

And I like "Walk on By," but as good as Dionne is, Burt Bacharach and Hal David were better. All the money's in the songs, never sell yours, you'll regret it, as Daryl Hall has now publicly said.

But watching Warwick all I could think of was the Psychic Friends Network. Bacharach and David never had to do this. And it made me wonder about tarnishing the legacy, then again if you live long enough you know the truth is there is no legacy, almost everybody they honor will be forgotten not long after they die, if it takes that long. Jay Leno? He used to be on TV every night? Looked like they reeled him out of the casket. Young people have no idea who he is. But I've got to give him credit for losing weight and not dyeing his hair. Yes, there was a lot of white hair, if there was hair at all. Because this was an old audience, the kind that is not passionate, they should have protested the appearance of Justice Roberts, the lack of the right to an abortion is more important than any of the talent honored last night.

But it was civilized, like honoring the nerds in high school, you know, the National Honor Society. Talk about meaningless. Kids today might have gotten a trophy for participating, but maybe that's why they know awards, trophies, are a joke.

And to have a totally faux Spinners sing "Then Came You"... My body had to stretch like a rubberband man to cope with that.

And there was a plethora of B-level talent throughout the show. You mean you couldn't get anybody better?

And they wheeled out old Clive Davis, who can't miss an opportunity for self-promotion even though his eyesight is so bad he had to read off an iPad right in front of him. Never mind that Dionne's big hits were not on his labels. Let's honor Florence Greenberg of Scepter Records. I remember that logo spinning on the record player. But she's already dead and forgotten. And even Mica is gone, Ahmet didn't have to sit through travesties like this. Ahmet had a sense of humor, he knew false when he experienced it. If you knew him, if you hung with him just a little bit, you know this was true.

Queen Latifah? I've got nothing against the woman, but she's definitely a B-level artist. Fiftieth year of hip-hop and this was all you could come up with? Afraid of someone a little more dangerous?

I respect Rénee Fleming, but it's not really my bag.

As for Billy Crystal. Heartfelt and heartwarming. Even though Crystal himself is a bit bland. It's the edgy comedians we ultimately respect. It's taking a very long time for Richard Pryor to leave our consciousness. Then again, Pryor never won a Kennedy Center Honor, showing its long term effectiveness in honoring talent. And while I'm raging, couldn't they come up with a better necklace/ribbon?

DeNiro was the highlight of the night.

And Bob Costas was great too. A professional, you couldn't tell that he was reading from the teleprompter, like too much famous talent.

As for Barry Gibb...

I liked Little Big Town's rendition of "Lonely Days," if for no other reason than I love that song, I thought the tribute would be all disco.

"Good morning, Mr. Sunshine..."

From slow to fast, a great record, and a hit to boot.

As much as I like "Lonely Days," that's how much I dislike "How Can You Mend a Broken Heart." But Michael Bublé changed it just enough so I got it. Kudos. Ben Platt doing "Nights on Broadway"... Okay, but I don't love that song and it's more of a record than a song anyway, hard to reproduce live.

As for Ariana DeBose singing the disco hits... Do you even know who that is? She won an Oscar on a show no one watches and no one remembers who won. She was lame, the whole bit was underwhelming, I'm surprised Barry Gibb didn't stand up like the Nazi during "Springtime for Hitler" and scream to shut it down.

Oh, so you're pissed I just can't accept this dreck and say something nice. But that's a passé paradigm. Gimme some truth.

But one of the main reasons I'm writing this is to remind you that ten years ago live-tweeting a show like this was a national pastime. Now you don't even watch, never mind tweet.

The world has changed and it's not only the right that refuses to admit it. Which is why we rely on youngsters to push progress, to move the nation forward. And you're serving up ancient Joe Biden for these youngsters to believe in? Don't tell them you know better, you're the same people who proffered this lame show they didn't watch.

Then again, if you speak the truth in America you're excoriated for not prefacing it with a trigger warning.

The brave break norms. And in truth, not a single person honored last night broke norms, they were all strictly within the mainstream. Those aren't our heroes, it's the ones who make our jaws drop, who we can't stop talking about, who are.

But the oldsters think they're too dangerous for mainstream consumption. Which is how recently passed Tommy Smothers lost his Sunday night show.

But at least Tommy Smothers tried. That makes a better obit than kissing ass.

Welcome to America today, where there is no consensus, where we're living in a Tower of Babel society, yet old media keeps telling us it's all the same.

It's not.


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