Life

Go to college. Do not listen to the blowback saying a degree is unnecessary, that is complete B.S. Sure, if you're entering a trade, if you want to become a plumber or an electrician, college is superfluous. But for the rest of the public? Tradespeople make a fortune these days. Maybe because nobody seems to know how to fix anything themselves these days, whereas in the past many people had workshops in their garages. The reason you go to college is not to learn anything in the classroom, if you do, that's a bonus. It's about living on your own, meeting different people, growing up and developing, being exposed to different viewpoints from your family and your hometown/usual suspect circle. If you do not have a college degree, chances are you will be relegated to a service job, most of which pay poorly. A college degree is an entrance ticket. The world is divided into winners and losers, I wish it wasn't this way, I wish income inequality were not rampant, but you must prepare yourself to be a winner, and that's what going to college does. As for all the people you know who thrived without college...many were born in a different era, with a more fluid society, and there are always people who win the lottery, but the odds are extremely long.

Finish college. Life is about finishing things. If you can't, you're going to get into trouble. If you've got a job and your boss asks you to do something and you do...VOILA! You'd be surprised how many people can't complete the task. Show up and perform, just do the basics, and you will have a good chance of rising. Also many worthwhile endeavors are extremely hard, difficult to accomplish, too many get frustrated and stop or drop out. But if you continue, not only do you gain a sense of mastery, you can see the dividend of perseverance. Showing up, jumping through the hoops/completing things and persevering in times of trouble are the keys to a successful life, and you'd be stunned how few possess them.

Who you marry is the most important decision of your life. Don't screw it up. Once again, you can't change somebody. If it doesn't feel right, it's not right. As for divorce... If there is physical violence or drug abuse get a divorce. Otherwise...you're better off sticking with your partner. This is the perseverance referenced above. Unless you truly got hitched on a whim, there is a base between you... Divorce is more traumatic than anyone admits, it's a regular breakup on steroids. And when you recover, and some never do, you're at ground zero and have to start all over again. Better to work on what you've got.

Get married. Forget the statistics that say you'll be happier and live longer, the truth is if you're alone...you sink to depths you do not if you have someone you can count on, who will also be there when you get sick. You need people. Friends are great, but it's not like a spouse.

Run on instinct. Period. Trust your gut. People will try and push you into doing things you don't want to. If your instincts say no, back off.

Being a member of the group pays dividends, but groupthink can prevent you from living a full life. Don't be afraid to step out and do your own thing. Will you get negative feedback? Yes. Might people ignore you? Yes.

You only have one life, so do what you want to. This is akin to instinct. No one gets to do what they want 24/7. And sometimes to do what you want is extremely difficult and painful. If you want to be a musician, if you need to be a musician, do so. But don't expect to get rich and famous, don't even expect to give up your day job. Ditto on acting. These are facts, the odds are long and the skills are soft and you're dependent upon the whims of the public and gatekeepers and if you can't tolerate this, make music your hobby. But it's not only music, there are people who make a living skiing. But very few do. So you can move to a ski town and do manual labor and never get ahead or make money so you can ski in your free time. Life is about compromise.

Oh, an analogue to the above. If you go your own way, people won't like it, and they truly won't like it if you're successful.

Being popular in high school is ultimately irrelevant. There's a reset in life mere years later, you don't want to peak too early.

Life is as short as they say it is. You can neither speed it up or slow it down. But keep your eyes open, be aware of the consequences of your choices, because time may pass you by, you might miss opportunities.

Take the opportunity, pay the freight. For some reason people like to say they're poor, that they can't afford things. Some are, most are not this destitute. They'll judge others for having whatever, as if there is something wrong with spending and enjoying the fruits of your labor. But what I'm really saying here is if you're on vacation, and the admission fee is...whatever, ALWAYS SAY YES! You may never ever be there again, and in the future you'll kick yourself for missing the experience for such a small sum. People will be impressed if you deny yourself. Ignore them, otherwise the joke is on you (as well as them!)

Possessions, physical items, used to be important, now it's the aforementioned experience. We've all got the same phone... And if you're rich you don't even have to own the jet, you can get a NetJet account. And you don't need a fancy car in the city, you can just Uber. If you think you're impressing the Joneses...you'll learn when you're older that the Joneses are so self-centered that they don't really care about you.

Never cheap out with health care. Get the best insurance and see the best doctors. Poor people live shorter lives than rich people because they don't get as good health care. Go for a physical every year. Ignore the extended terms for colonoscopies and mammograms. Some GP working for the man might agree with these doctrines, but you'll never find a concierge doctor who does. Also, if you are ill or need an operation GET A SECOND OPINION! Always! Even if it costs you. And if you've got a rare disease...there's an expert on every disease in America, but they may not be close to you. Sometimes it's worth taking a trip to see them. You're healthy until you're not. You're a kid and you're carefree, and then suddenly everybody you know has something wrong with them. Even worse, they don't admit this, so you think you're the only one.

Information is your friend. And it's at your fingertips online. If you want to buy a product, go to the Wirecutter or Consumer Reports or... Do not trust the word of friends. There are some experts, but usually your friends love an item because they paid for it and they want you to buy the same one. Sometimes what they purchased is the best, but I've found this happens rarely.

Don't be a tyrant. You read about all these entrepreneurs and CEOs who are out of control... Usually, there's a day of reckoning. You have to learn how to be nice and get along. But that does not mean you should let yourself be abused. One unfortunate feature of successful men is they step on/put down/abuse those below them. And since this successful man is paying attention to them at all, many are sheepish and cower when the line is crossed. If you can't push back when a foul is committed, if you're not willing to say you're not going to do something, you're never going to be successful.

Ignore those who say they're going to block your success. Some actually do their best to do this, but there's always another way around.

Don't listen to conventional wisdom. Conventional wisdom is about keeping you in line.

Your friends do not give the best advice, they just want to see you happy. If you're truly in a bind/confronting a problem, go to a professional for therapy.

"Each of us has his own special gift, and you know this was meant to be true, and if you don't underestimate me, I won't underestimate you." That's Bob Dylan, from "Dear Landlord." But the reason I quote it is... The person who appears dumb ends up having a facility with cars or computers you do not. And don't lament you're not pretty enough, or smart enough, we all get assets in equal doses. Just shine up and emphasize those you do have. The deck is not stacked against you. Yes, if you grow up in Manhattan with rich parents you're a step ahead, but as a human being, we are all truly equal.

Travel. Because it broadens your horizons. In many countries there are advancements beyond America. You have to see that the way you think and live your life is not the only way.

Don't be too afraid to take a risk... If I hear one more single baby boomer tell me they're afraid to try online dating... Sure, it might be a bad experience, but you could meet the love of your life! One thing is for sure, if you don't try, you'll get nothing.

Your parents are not always right. It's good to have family, but in many respects the death of a parent is liberating, you can throw off the chains of judgment and live your own life.

People will give you advice, most of it is worthless.

Every hundred years, all new people. That's what Warren Miller said, so... Find the movers and shakers from your era and grow with them, don't worry so much about who runs the corporation right now, but who will be running it when you're in the middle of your career.

Life is not fair. In any way. I'd say there is karma. Not that this a guarantee, but I find most bad actors ultimately get their comeuppance. Kids get cancer and die, people get killed in car accidents. Someone gets the promotion you wanted. It hurts, and you should lick your wounds for a while, but at some point you've got to put one foot in front of another again.

Don't be afraid to express your emotions. This is what people can relate to most, your feelings, your experiences. When you express doubt or loss you become human.

You find out who you can count on when you get cancer or some other major illness, and it's never who you think it is.

Learn how to listen. People love to talk and they will tell you ANYTHING!

Be aware that you might be dominating a conversation and make room for others to participate.

You're not always right, no one ever is. And when you're wrong, be a big enough person to apologize. But don't apologize just to get off the hook.

No one has the answers.

No one will be remembered.

Life is a quandary.

GOOD LUCK!

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