Pretzel Logic

Spotify playlist: http://bit.ly/4pq4aBp

1

I never knew Warren Haynes covered this, never mind INXS, both live, the work of a band that famously had left the road, whose songs were thought to be unperformable. You can only find the INXS version on YouTube, and I don't really recommend it, but the Haynes version?

Actually, my favorite Haynes cover is also live, in this case "Wasted Time," performed back at Bonnaroo in 2003 and released to the general public in 2004. I remember looking at the track listing when I received the CD in the mail... Really? "Wasted Time"? As in the song that follows "Life in the Fast Lane" and ends side one of "Hotel California," the one that doesn't even have its own Wikipedia page despite containing some of Henley's best lyrics of all time? The entire song is genius, but it's the final words that are the most memorable.

"So you can get on with your search, baby
And I can get on with mine
And maybe someday we will find
That it wasn't really wasted time"

Dating is different from the seventies. Boys and girls are supposedly friends, people hang in groups and a date is just a click away online. But back then...you had to go out, you had to mingle, you had to search and then you found someone but then you ultimately discovered they were not the one. This was being a twentysomething boomer.

But that breakup... It was so hard to cope with.

"And you're back out on the street
And you're trying to remember, oh
How do you start it over
You don't know if you can
You don't care much for a stranger's touch
But you can't hold your man"

The irony is this applies to so many boomers today. On the other side of marriage. They've been hurt, can they really risk diving back into the pool...seems to me most don't.

But we're talking about the title track of Steely Dan's third album here.

2

No one was anticipating the "Pretzel Logic" album, after all the second LP sans David Palmer's vocals was a commercial disappointment, despite being considered by the cognoscenti to be the best work Steely Dan ever did. But I never heard a single song from "Countdown to Ecstasy" on the radio.

Then again, FM couldn't quite make heads nor tails of Steely Dan. Despite its ethereal feel, "Do It Again" was an immediate smash on AM radio. And then its follow-up, the upbeat, bouncy "Reelin' in the Years," also broke on AM, but it had elements closer to the hits on that format and as a result traditional rock fans and rock radio stayed away. Actually, years later "Dirty Work" was a staple on L.A.'s soft rock station, KNX, but if a rock programmer listened to this...

No.

But the funny thing is "Can't Buy a Thrill" is my favorite Steely Dan album, even though I didn't really hear it for four years, when I moved to Los Angeles and found it in my sister's record collection. There's a song on the second side that positively slays me, "Brooklyn (Owes the Charmer Under Me)." Don't ask me to explain it, although now you can read an explanation about a downstairs neighbor online, but there was that sweet chorus...

"A tower room at Eden Roc
His golf at noon for free
Brooklyn owes the charmer under me
Brooklyn owes the charmer under me"

There's the almost carnivalesque intro and ultimately the backup singers come in on the chorus and the electric guitar solo with a bite and rhythm not heard on conventional rock songs..."Brooklyn (Owes the Charmer Under Me)" stands alone, fits no hole...this is not the kind of cut the meat and potatoes AOR fan wants to drive his Camaro to.

And then came "Rikki Don't Lose That Number," which broke right away on AM and was not a great opening salvo for AOR adoption. But compared to the stuff on AM at that point...this was not simple, pop that could be consumed and discarded, anything but fluff...it seemed like intellectuals cryptically telling a tale, which the two leaders of the band turned out to be. And when you bought the album...

"Pretzel Logic" had eleven songs, only one longer than four minutes, the aforementioned "Rikki Don't Lose That Number," and there was only a bit over thirty three minutes of music compared to the north of forty of the previous two LPs. What was going on?

Steely Dan was on a lame label, ABC, which despite having Joe Walsh and other hit acts was considered a black hole to fans who were enamored of the Mo and Joe show over at Warner.

And the music... What was "Rikki Don't Lose That Number"? Certainly not traditional rock in any way. And when you got the album you found jazz influences, which were anathema at the time. But if you played "Pretzel Logic" it quickly started to penetrate. The songs were not so obtuse that they could not be comprehended musically, but they were definitely different from what we'd been exposed to. There were verses and choruses, but they were just posts to hang the trimmings.

"Rikki Don't Lose That Number" opened the album and was followed up by the more dynamic, driving "Night by Night"...this was not Led Zeppelin, but it was definitely not wimpy.

Then came "Any Major Dude Will Tell You," incorporating the vernacular in its title and intimate in a buddy telling his story in your college dorm room way. There was sweetness without verging on saccharine.

"Barrytown" was upbeat, and lodged itself in your brain after only two listens. Maybe the up and down melody and where exactly was Barrytown?

The first side finished with a cover of Duke Ellington's "East St. Louis Toodle-Oo," years before Joni Mitchell made "Mingus," when most rock fans had no idea who Duke was, never mind his legend, they couldn't really understand "East St. Louis Toodle-Oo" but they came to know it, because it finished off the first side and that's how you played your albums, the whole side through.

As for the second side...

3

"Parker's Band" seemed to align with "East St. Louis Toodle-Oo," and you didn't have to know much to know that they were singing about Charlie Parker, but most AOR listeners knew nothing about Parker, and were categorically against jazz. But "Parker's Band" was a tear. It took off like a shot and you had to hold on to your hat, you didn't have too much time to contemplate it, you could only go along for the ride.

"Through with Buzz"...the title lyrics stuck in your head, and then there was that great change in the middle.

"With a Gun" had a western feel via New York City, which was riddled with crime at this time, it was a combination of White Album acoustic combined with the proficiency of studio players. And then there was the hiding in the bushes with the Luger... "With a Gun" was a mini-movie.

Which was followed by "Charlie Freak." Which like "Barrytown" went up and down melodically, yet with a darkness underpinning the entire number.

The closing number, "Monkey in Your Soul"...was not a traditional album-ender, which was usually a summing up, a closing down, either quiet or an in-your-face final statement, whereas "Monkey in Your Soul" was more upbeat and more driving than what had preceded it, to the point where when it ended all you could do was drop the needle to listen to the album again. You were swinging, you didn't want to stop. "Monkey in Your Soul" was like a live encore, a jaunty number leaving you wanting more.

But in between "Through with Buzz" and "With a Gun" was the title track, "Pretzel Logic."

4

That GROOVE! Listeners knew what a groove was, they'd listened to soul records, but this was not traditional rock fare, nor were the horn accents, never mind those quirky lead guitar accents, looping in the background. In rock the lead guitar dominated, but not here. Until the solo, which sounded at first like a trombone on mute, dancing in a nearly spastic way, unfamiliar to the rock audience, BUT IT FELT SO GOOD!

And then back to that groove, set by the keyboard.

And then when the vocal came back...

"I stepped up on the platform
The man gave me the news
He said 'You must be joking son
Where did you get those shoes?'
Where did you get those shoes"

These were hipsters. Cool people. Who knew the difference in footwear, who would judge you based on what was on your feet, delineating a definite line between them and you.

Unlike today, Steely Dan was not accessible, they'd even stopped playing live. They were making music in darkened studios and then...who knew exactly what? But one thing was for sure, you wouldn't see them downing a beer at the local watering hole in the western-style wear that was the uniform of the era. They might not have even owned a pair of jeans. Not even Frye boots.

But you could listen to this music.

It was like Steely Dan said F*CK YOU! after "Countdown to Ecstasy" was not broadly embraced and determined they were going to do it their way, which was unlike anybody else's way.

5

I woke up with the groove of "Pretzel Logic" in my head. Not that I could remember the title of the track, but going through my brain was:

"I have never met Napoleon
But I plan to find the time"

Not a subject of rock lyrics at the time, when Robert Plant was infatuated with "Lord of the Rings."

And the amazing thing is when a song is in your brain you never lose it. It's on a loop, over and over.

But with the magic of Google I searched and of course I realized it was "Pretzel Logic" after the result was coughed up. And I immediately pulled the track up on my phone.

"I would love to tour the Southland
In a traveling minstrel show"

Needless to say minstrel shows were a thing of the past at this point. However there were rock bands crisscrossing this great nation of ours, and you could see them on stage and nowhere else. And they didn't pledge fealty to their fans, rather they were dark and private, doing who knows what in their hotel rooms...drinking alcohol, shooting drugs, getting laid. This became the lifestyle an entire generation became enthralled with. Sure, there was perceived to be plenty of money, but... You didn't have to get up for a nine to five job, you had no boss, and when you came offstage people were throwing themselves at you. And the driver was this music.

By this time there was merch. But bands were not brands. Their records were their edifice, and it was enough. You didn't feel ripped-off by the acts, you'd like to give them even more money if you could get anything in return. But they didn't want it! They were too busy traveling from town to town in a rarefied air we had no access to.

But not Steely Dan. We had no idea what they were doing, but they certainly weren't on a plane from town to town, never mind a bus. And maybe they were night owls up all night at home, but you also knew they were reading, watching and going out and experiencing and reporting back, in a way so enigmatic that all you could do was listen to the records over and over again to divine. If you wanted this hit, this was the only place you could get it. No one else evidenced the same influences. And so many of those who dominated the airwaves were uneducated and far from book smart, but Steely Dan...

"These things are gone forever
Over a long time ago, oh yeah"


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