Re-Character Counts

As a 20-something who lacks most of the traits you discuss, this certainly rings true - and let me tell you, it's upsetting to me and my generation. We have been raised - for better or for worse - to think that the only things that matter are a) base intelligence b) your personal network c) being persistent.

Emailing people self-promotional material on a regular basis isn't just a character flaw; it's what we're actually taught to do - even/especially in elite Ivy/liberal arts schools. We are told that this impresses people, that this is the way successful people make it, that this is how you eventually forge a connection with someone. Most people who email you tracks probably think that they are being really savvy by doing so. This to us is what self-confidence and persistence means.

The trait that I find my generation lacks most of all is attention to detail. I lack it as well. Remembering to cross all the t's not only seems literally impossible, we are taught that it does not matter, it makes no difference, talent shines far above such petty concerns. And of course now my generation is learning this is not true. And we - or at least I - have no idea how to solve it. Being conscientious seems vastly harder to achieve than any of the other traits you mention, all of which - except perhaps self-control - we are told we possess in great measure.

I don't understand how Wall Streeters, or, hell, jet pilots do it - the consequences of making a little error in such a world can be enormous. And not making little errors - well, we were not raised that way. We had parents and computers (spell check!) to hold our hands.

I think it's why so many smart, ambitious young people are drawn to entertainment. Music is great because of its flaws and the vagaries of its creation. I'm a writer, and no book - no sentence - will be word perfect. And we've learned that makes our work better than it would be if it were, in fact, 'perfect'.

And that's why you don't see many young 'elites' going into the sciences. Or analytical jobs. And it's exactly why you see people like Jonah Lehrer. Because we don't think those things are a big deal. I don't understand why his publisher pulled his books. It doesn't seem to follow. He came up with quotes that weren't quite word perfect, but furthered his argument.

Most of us paid $200k specifically to learn how to use information to further our argument (rather than using information to determine what our argument is). And now people are getting fired for it.

Yea, we're some fucked up kids.

Best
Apolon

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A very good friend of mine is an administrator for a very large world-wide accounting firm that employes over 50,000 people. His human resources manager recently had a college grad come in for a job interview with his DAD along side of him!! Seriously . . . and the manager had to explain to the dad that he really did have to leave.

Needless to say, that resume ended up in the recycle bin.

Vickie Strate

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Amen Bob...

When my twelve year old, who has already been exploring the town all morning on Saturday on his bike or skateboard, calls looking for a ride somewhere, I tell him "you figure it out"! Not because I'm unhelpful.... Because he will.

Ted Guggenheim

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I receive a phone call from my wife Karen.

Ring. Me. Hi Babe how are you?

Karen: Can you pick the kids up from school?

Kevin: Not now I'm on a job site.

Karen: It looks like it could rain any minute.

Kevin: So.

Karen: What if it rains?

Kevin: They get wet. They have fun riding their bikes in the rain. They'll go through every puddle they can find. When they get home they will jump in the pool and ask you for a snack. When you ask them what they learned in school today they'll tell you nothing or I forgot.

Karen: You're so insensitive.

Kevin: Bye honey see you for dinner.

We live in South Florida. Repeat three times a week. Tell your friends in the Palisades riding in puddles builds character.

Kevin McCloskey

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This made me laugh, but it's so true... and so not funny, considering these are the kids who will lead our future. I know this sounds like something my mother would have said, but "when I was a kid" I walked a mile to school daily, starting with first grade at age 6. My mom walked with me the first day and I was on my own the second (alone.) No cell phones to phone home with and no one to ask, so I had to figure it out myself. On that first solo walk, I got within 3 blocks from home and thought I was lost. I panicked and started to walk back towards school, then decided to trust my instincts and turn around. Another block and all started to look familiar. I joyously ran home from there.

I have no doubt my mother was on pins and needles the entire time, but I made it home and we both felt proud.

I know things are different these days and maybe a mile is a bit much for a 6-year-old in today's world, but the more kids are given responsibility, the more they will accept and exercise it. By the way, been on my own since I was 18 and have done pretty well for myself. So many of my friends kids still living at home at age 30. Yikes!

You are so right about persistence and character. It's up to parents to help build it. Life's best tools. Thanks mom and dad!

Barbara Weigand
Oak Park, IL

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Quite right Bob.

Re: the kids character debate, you've got to trust them. My kids are
only tiddlers but I let them zoom off down the pavement on their
scooters, to the end of the road, 100yds, way out of my reach, with cars and buses driven too fast. But the mice have been fully and earnestly briefed, told to stop at the end of the road at all costs. They look back at me and nod. They like the risk and the responsibility. Their mum wouldn't let them do this. And they never let me down.

My heart's in my throat every time of course. But I try not to show it.

Same with running my PR business really :)

See ya
Pete Flatt

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Amen. Look at animals in the wild; the baby fox holds its mother's tail, but mom also lets it forage, trip, find its way - and only brings it back if there is imminent danger. The mother bird actually pushes the young out of the nest to fly before the chicks themselves think they are ready. And they fly! The worst looking seagulls are always the hand fed ones. Their coats look crappy and matted, their posture sucks. The wild ones are sleek and healthy and don't want anything to do with humans.

We have coddled our young to their - and the entire country's - detriment. A parent who has self-discipline and passes this quality on to their children is a parent the child will respect when they grow old enough to realize the value of self-discipline. We are a spoiled lot, without the economic, moral or spiritual qualities anymore to warrant being spoiled, if anyone can actually "warrant" being spoiled!

Sincerely,

Dave Bass

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As you know I have two kids, _____ and ____. You also know they are twins and grew up in the same household; so we can assume that they had the exact environmental upbringing.
Genetically they are obviously very different.
_____ is a junkie and ____ goes to Med School.
____ tells his shrink that his addictions are due to his father's career of traveling a lot and not having the male support within the household. ____'s shrink says that dad reflected the energy to succeed and showed her that no one is going to do you a favor but it's hard work that will take you where you want to go.
As you can see there's two completely different scenarios.

_________ ______

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I've had a passion for computers for a long time. When I was 17, I dropped out of high school and took the GED. I passed and started college at a technical school. Six months into school, I got a job working at a large bank, doing technical support. The job was not quite a barrel of monkeys, but I learned very quickly that there is no alternative to hard work. I busted ass for 40 hours per week, plus class at night.

After a few months, I dropped out of college and started getting serious about my interest in information security (computer hacking for good guys). I found a course online offered by well-known professionals with tons of experience and sold my truck to pay for the course. It was the hardest thing I ever did in my life. For 10 months, I worked my ass off at work, then worked my ass off at night hacking away at the authorized course labs. The course taught me how to learn effectively through struggle and trial. If you approached the instructors with an email or instant message they would simply respond with "Ahh yes. Maybe you should try harder?"

I eventually passed the (24 hour) exam and felt confident enough to apply for some jobs. I applied for a job in Washington DC as a Penetration Tester (good guy hacker) and they were willing to hire me with no experience. I left my home of South Carolina and started my first day of work on my 19th birthday.

Anyways, the moral of the story is that there is NO alternative for hard work. I busted ass and got a great job. Now I'm 19 years old, I live in Washington DC, I pay all my own bills, and I make more money than any of my friends, and most of my friend's parents.

Didn't mean to toot my own horn, but my generation has a lot of waking up to do. Your college degree won't mean shit when you're 22 and never had a job.

Regards,

-Andrew Morris

(OSCP, the course I mentioned. WAY out of your audience, but credit where credit is due)
http://www.offensive-security.com/information-security-certifications/oscp-offensive-security-certified-professional/

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If you don't have kids, then you have no business writing about them; especially so irresponsibly. It's not as if you can relate to what it means when you let go of your child's hand.

sackofmail@_______

(Note: Mr. Sackofmail deleted his name from the mailing list after sending this missive.)


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