Bozeman

I twisted my ankle getting on the plane.

It was my fault. Everything's my fault. Felice says I'm impatient. I travel heavy, and when there was a backup on the gateway, execs checking their carry-ons because they won't fit on this tiny plane, I swerved to the left and little did I know there was a drop-off. Why don't they make the gateway flat from side to side? So, my ankle crumpled and I felt the pain and I wondered what was up with me, with this ski season, it's endless injuries, I'm feeling my age and it doesn't feel good.

It's not horrible. The pain is not sharp. But I'm depressed and angry and not only about my body. The weird thing about getting old is time runs out. You realize you're never gonna accomplish so much. On some level this is freeing, assuming your bank account is deep enough to carry you through. I now understand retirement. You get old enough and you realize the rat race is just that, an endless, meaningless dash. And you realize it's all about lifestyle and experiences, and none of us are gonna last or be remembered, it's all gonna be buried by the sands of time.

Now I'm in Bozeman for a guys' trip. I'm not much of a bro, I'm more of a loner or a listener to the women. And I haven't been to Montana since 1974, after graduating from college, when I snuck back into Yellowstone on my way out west. Yes, most of the national park is in Wyoming, but a tiny smidge is in Montana. Which makes it the only time I've ever been here.

And there's nothing here. Just wide open spaces. Big Sky Country as Chris Whitley so eloquently sang.

So I'm staring out the window, taking it all in, the mountains look so different up here, they're these spines/ridges. I don't know much about geography, but I haven't seen stuff like this before.

And then I think back, to my youth, when I was itinerant, when I lived in Utah, it was so different!

You didn't go anywhere! Airplane trips were long and expensive. No one traveled on a whim, not even the rich. And there was no internet and long distance was expensive so when you were off the grid, you were truly off the grid.

No one's off the grid anymore. Everybody's reachable, Googlable. And if you're not connected, you're a social outcast. Everyone expects to reach you instantly. That's what the entertainment industry doesn't understand with its windows and restrictions, they enrage us, we've got no tolerance for them.

But there was serenity in being off the grid. You could revel in your own personality and life. No one built a shrine to themselves on social media, there was no social media. Reporting was what you did over a beer at the bar with your buddies, or in the once a week or so when you called your parents collect and they called you back (didn't the phone company ever wise up to this?) Social was one on one and no one thought twice about reading a book.

Now I'm not saying the future is not advantageous. I love being able to go cheaply anywhere. However I hate that everybody carries their life's belongings on the plane to beat the baggage charge. Are people just cheap or are they really financially-challenged?

But something is lost in every revolution. And in this case it's solitude and reflection.

Flying in over the Bitterroots I was reminded of that two years in Utah, of living in Vermont, going to college. When internal was everything. When I experienced new things and reveled over them privately, storing them up to share maybe decades later, if at all.

And the truth is no one cares about anyone. Everybody's narcissistic. Or if they're tuned-in, they want some reward for it. We're all alone. The fact we can communicate is staggering. Ever wonder if someone feels like you do? How do you even tell them how you feel? Flying over barren land, seeing giant snowcapped mountains jutting up?

Not even 50,000 people live in Bozeman. The airport is new and civilized. Everybody on the plane was wearing boots, no one was dressed up for the occasion. This is the hinterlands.

Makes me want to move to the hinterlands.

Only the hinterlands are just like L.A. today. With Amazon, FedEx and wireless reaching everywhere.

But I did buy a book on my iPhone before we took off!

However, the reward is in socialization, and I'm hooking up with my homeys, some old, some new. The connection will enhance my mood.

We're all looking to enhance our mood.


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